The Divorce Surge Is Over, but the Myth Lives On – article from the New York Times
(The link to the article is much farther below. I wanted to open this post by commenting on the article first)
Notice that the article below says one reasons the divorce rate has gone down is that people are marrying later in life.
This fact should put a dent in the nauseating push by evangelicals, Reformed, fundamentalists, and Baptists to encourage young kids to marry before they turn 25.
Notice also that this article is saying that due to conservative gender role expectations – where people expect the man to be the “bread winner” and the woman to be submissive to the husband, and to be a stay at home mother, these people who buy into these views are delaying marriage because a lot of young men are having a hard time getting steady, well paying jobs.
These young men feel they need a good paying job to be the traditional husband and dad that their culture teaches them to be.
However, your hyper masculine, buffoon, sexist, swine preachers, such as Mark Driscoll, who defend the un-biblical view of “Christian gender complementarianism” continually wrongly assume that the reason most young men are delaying marriage is that they are immature and trying to shirk responsibility.
But they, are, ironically, delaying marriage, not out of laziness, but because they cannot do what some in the gender complementarian movement tell them they should do to be a “biblical husband,” or what secular conservative culture tells them constitutes being “a real man,” which is holding a job that pays a big enough income that can support a wife and kids.
Here you have Christian conservatives, some of whom champion traditional gender roles, under the banner of “gender complementarianism,” whose very teachings are what is causing singles to stay single longer.
These conservatives keep blaming secular feminism solely for these issues, but some of their own values and views are feeding into the delayed marriage situation.
If these Christian chuckle heads would stop making American 1950s “June Cleaver” gender roles the basis of what they believe are ‘biblical’ roles for men and women, and stop holding a grudge or disdain against women having careers (this gets back to the unbiblical view they perpetuate that a woman’s only godly role in life is to be a wife and mother), they’d likely find more young people marrying younger, if this article is right on the money.
Though in my humble opinion, there are several factors contributing to prolonged singleness, not just economic or career ones, and the fault or blame does not fall squarely on any one group, such as secular feminists, who are the favorite boogeyman of conservatives.
(No, I don’t agree with secular feminists much of the time, but they are not the big threat conservatives make them out to be, and on occasion, some of their views actually have some merit.)
This is similar to another point I have raised on this blog many times before: it is Christian teachings about dating, sex, and gender roles that keep even marriage-desiring singles singles, not just the “man as breadwinner” stereotype, but ridiculous teachings such as,
- “If you are single, do not meet alone with another adult single because the date will inevitably end in sex.
- Further we all know that men are horn dogs incapable of sexual self control, and adult single women are harlots who are constantly seeking to get a man in the sack.
- So do avoid dating members of the opposite sex, because if you do, it will lead to fornication!”
I was brought up a Christian and still have pretty traditional values, but those sorts of teachings and assumption about the genders, sex, and dating often show up in Christian blogs, books and sermons about dating.
I am not exaggerating for comedic effect or erecting a strawman argument when I say Christians basically encourage adult singles (and teens) to refrain from meeting one on one with other singles their age, even to warn them from getting a cup of coffee at a Starbuck’s together.
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