The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

In light of the fact that “OnlyFans” is no longer allowing its members to post pornography on it site (which may have something to do with MasterCard credit card company refusing to accept payments on any site that may involve human/sex trafficking), some porn supporters, “sex workers,” or free speech advocates, are, unfortunately, inaccurately depicting any and all Christian sexual ethics as being “anti sex.”

Believing that sex is a sin outside the confines of marriage is a pretty typical Christian position going back decades to hundreds of years; believing that sexual behavior should have some kind of limits is not inherently “anti sex,” and as an adult celibate, I very much resent the portrayal of sexual abstinence outside of marriage as being “anti sex” or “sexual repression.”

As a celibate myself – and my preference would still be to wait until I marry to have sex, and I am now middle-aged – I am not opposed to sex.

However, I do believe that pornography and prostitution devalues the act of sex itself, and yes, both objectifies women, and women are already objectified in non-porn culture as it is.

Continue reading “The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)”

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

I’m not totally in agreement on Keller (Link) on everything, but he is correct that too many believers (Link): falsely conflate the concepts of being sexually abstinent outside of marriage with the faults in purity culture and unfortunately ditch the concept altogether.

Yet other Christians (Link): falsely believe and teach that the Bible does not support the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage.

The progressive Christians (and (Link): occasionally, doofus conservatives) try to ease the guilty consciences of fornicators (Link): by downplaying fornication.

(Link): Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

April 17, 2021

by Brandon Showalter

What’s often referred to as “purity culture” is not the same thing as remaining sexually abstinent outside of marriage, though many conflate the two, according to Tim Keller, founder and former pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City.

Keller explained in a Facebook post that in the early church, the Christian sexual ethic — that “sex was only for within a mutual, whole-self-giving, super-consensual life-long covenant” — was “revolutionary,” given the prevailing Greco-Roman ethic of the day.

Continue reading “Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter”

TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage

TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage

As I said about this headline on Twitter yesterday:

In today’s “anti slut shaming” and “pro sex positive, virginity is a social construct” (no, it’s not) society, every sexual behavior choice is supported EXCEPT FOR abstinence, which is mocked by both liberals AND many conservatives

The nurses who criticized “Nurse Holly” for her abstinence, as a group, (Link): are hypocrites. Why do I say that? Because some of them mock women virgins for being virgins when they come in for health screenings.

I can just imagine me, a 40-something virgin, going in to see one of these “sex positive, no slut shaming” nurses as part of a medical visit and them possibly finding out during questioning I’m still a virgin, and I’m sure they’d either roll their eyes or act incredulous or mock me for it – I had an experience like that in my late twenties when I had to see a doctor.

(Link): TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage– via FaithWire

(Link): TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage – via CBN News

January 18, 2020
by T. Goins-Phillips

“Nurse Holly” has amassed quite the following on TikTok. She uses her incredibly popular account to talk — and joke — about her career in the medical field. But now she’s facing scorn because she encouraged her 1.7 million followers to wait until they’re married to have sex.

In the video, which has since been deleted, Holly promoted the message, “The best way to prevent STDs is waiting for sex until marriage. Just the truth.”

Holly’s argument is airtight — if you don’t have sex until you’re married to your partner, the likelihood of contracting an STI is greatly decreased. But that (Link): didn’t stop other nurses from dragging her on Twitter.

Continue reading “TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage”

Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended

Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended

These days, being a virgin or a celibate is really the only “taboo” sexual (non?) behavior left.

We have many (not all, but many) liberals screaming and yelling that every one should accept people with penises being permitted into locker rooms for biological women,
and we have both secular, liberal feminists and conservative Christians jumping on to the ‘Sex Positive’ train, where they defend pre-marital sex and write off adult virginity as being a “social construct,” and say you’re a “slut shamer” if you disagree.

So of course if someone speaks up in favor of virginity (or celibacy), it’s going to be looked at askew (when it’s not being mocked or insulted), as in this story.

I bet if this kid wore a shirt that said “Sex Positivity Rocks,” he would not have gotten into trouble.

This is the kind of world we live in now.

(Link): Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended

January 2020
by Jessica Chasmar

A seventh grade boy who wore a “Virginity Rocks” sweatshirt to school in Wentzville, Missouri, was forced to remove the shirt and threatened with suspension if he wore it again, his parents said Wednesday.

Continue reading “Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended”

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

American society stopped “slut shaming” people for having sex outside of marriage many years ago, contrary to what the anti-sexual purity “Ex-vangelicals,” liberal Christians, Christian feminists, and other groups argue on blogs and twitter.

The trend has been the opposite in years past: adults who are celibate and single are often ridiculed or thought of as weird losers if they’re not in a romantic relationship and not having sex.

Our culture went from “Slut Shaming” years ago to “Celibate and Virgin Shaming.” (I have examples all over this blog, look for them).

Here’s an essay by a guy who didn’t lose his virginity until his late twenties. It’s another anecdotal piece of the pie demonstrating how our sex saturated culture shames people who are not having sex.

(Link): Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 

Excerpts

by Noah Berlatsky
April 2018

The man who murdered ten people in Toronto with a van, like the 2014 Isla Vista killer, considered himself an “incel,” or involuntary celibate.

Incels are men who blame the world, and especially women, for the fact that they are virgins, or aren’t having sex as often as they want.

They see women as manipulators who choose powerful but shallow men, and unfairly ignore and even torment good guys like themselves.

Resentment becomes an excuse for misogyny, and sometimes, for violence.

In the aftermath of the Toronto massacre, some people were quick to use the killer’s celibacy as an insult.

Continue reading “Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky”

Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office

Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office

So, I saw a headline go through my Twitter feed a few weeks ago about a woman who says while on a trip to the doctor’s office to get a check up, she was “slut shamed” by a nurse practitioner at that appointment. (The link to that is towards the bottom of this post.)

I don’t doubt her experience, but I chipped in under that Tweet or another related to mention that as a chaste woman – I’m over 45 and still a virgin myself – I had the same exact thing happen to me, but in the reverse, when I was in my mid or late 20s and had to see a doctor to get blood tests done (over a non-sexual related medical issue).

The doctor I saw at my appointment sort of “Virgin-Shamed” me at that time.

We’re all the time hearing about “Slut Shaming” in our culture, but there is far more Celibacy- and Virgin- Shaming taking place than Slut Shaming.

However, I don’t very often see feminists discussing Virgin-Shaming nearly as much.

As a matter of fact, some feminists who are always complaining about “slut shaming” participate in Celibate-Shaming, or Virgin-Shaming (and sadly, other conservatives also participate in virgin shaming or celibate shaming as well, though many conservatives CLAIM to respect sexual abstinence – but they really do not).

The lady doctor I saw when I was in my mid to late 20s said in addition to running the tests I was in to see her for that day (and I don’t recall now what they were, only that the tests were not related to anything of a sexual nature), she also wanted to run sexually transmitted disease tests on my blood samples to make sure I did not have any sexually transmitted diseases.

I laughed and told her that would be a waste of her time and the lab’s time, as I was still a virgin.

Continue reading “Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office”

What I Learned From Being Accidentally Celibate For 5 Years by C. Brooks

(Link): What I Learned From Being Accidentally Celibate For 5 Years by C. Brooks

Five years of celibacy isn’t something I planned.

It’s something that happened when I began to focus on myself and stopped looking for a Netflix-and-chill buddy.

It happened gradually and I only thought about it every so often ― when couples held on to each other scurrying across a windy parking lot, or when love scenes got a little too vivid during a Friday night movie.

Mostly, though, sex just never occurred to me as something I was missing in my life.

Continue reading “What I Learned From Being Accidentally Celibate For 5 Years by C. Brooks”

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

The following piece at The Atlantic (“The Happiness Recession”) was written by marriage-idolater and anti-singleness bigot of The Institute for Family Studies, W. Bradford Wilcox, and co-writer Lyman Stone.

I’d like to remind any new-comers to this blog that I am a life long conservative. I am not a liberal.

Marriage Is Not A Guarantee For Good or Regular Sex

This moronic essay actually suggests that single adults having less sex is what has led to them reporting higher rates of unhappiness, if I’m understanding things correctly.

This, astonishingly, from a right wing organization, (Link): The Institute For Family Studies, that claims to promote “strong families,” and good Lord knows they are obsessed with promoting marriage, even if that comes at the expense of singleness.

The members of this organization regularly publish materials intended to scare, guilt, shame, or pressure single adults into getting married, because this organization exists to promote the nuclear family: hetero-marriage where the couple have children.

Continue reading “Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019”

I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

(Link): I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

Excerpts:

“Bachelor” contestant Ashley Iaconetti on why a girl can act sexy without, you know, having sex.

Apparently I can’t be a virgin because I have my belly-button pierced. Or because I live in New Jersey. Or because I kissed Chris Soules “like that” during my appearance on The Bachelor. During my time on the show, social media was flooded with absurd judgements and arguments as to why I couldn’t possibly be a virgin.

It’s been odd and frustrating to see people debate the status of my hymen (!) on Twitter — seriously, people, that’s what you’re using your time tweeting about? And many people don’t just doubt my claim, but flat-out declare I’m a liar.

….I believe a girl can be sexy without having sex.

Continue reading “I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti”

ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos

ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos / Lily News

(Link): ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem?

Excerpts:

Past contestants say the show sometimes talks around sex in a way that feels exploitative

By The Lily News, Jan 6, 2019

Adapted from a story by The Washington Post’s Lisa Bonos.

Last night, this season of ABC’s “The Bachelor” premiered. Its lead is Colton Underwood: a 26-year-old former professional football player who, when he appeared on “The Bachelorette” this past summer, delivered an announcement that surprised many. He’s a virgin — and now, as he steps into the spotlight, ABC will not let us forget it for a moment.

Conversations with past Bachelor Nation virgins reveal the reality show and its spin offs often use wholesome things — such as virginity and the search for a husband and wife — as ways to talk about the more titillating aspects of dating, in ways that can feel exploitative.

Continue reading “ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos”

What It’s Like To Date As A 30-Something Virgin by B. Wong

(Link): What It’s Like To Date As A 30-Something Virgin

Excerpts:

October 2018

by B. Wong
“You can go without sex. That’s much less of a problem than going through life alone, and without affection.”

It’s Not You, It’s Me is a series that looks at dating in America from the perspective of different ethnicities, sexual identities, life experiences and circumstances.

Forget butt play or the pull-out method: The latest trend in sex might be forgoing it altogether.

According to a recent study out of University College London, millennials are waiting longer to have sex than members of previous generations, with 12.5 percent of them abstaining until age 26.

But some wait even longer than that. We recently talked to three people who have remained virgins well into their 30s — one by choice, the other two by happenstance. Below, they tell us more about how they’ve remained abstinent this long and what it’s like to date when you’ve never had sex.

Responses have been edited for clarity and style, with last names withheld for privacy.

People remain virgins for so many different reasons. For you, was it an intentional choice to abstain from sex?

Brianna, a 35-year-old programmer from Indianapolis, Indiana:

My reasons are a bit of a mixed bag.

I was raised very conservatively and was told that sex before marriage was a sin, so that kept me a virgin for a while. Then, when I outgrew that thinking, it was a matter of waiting to find someone I felt comfortable enough with to consider that next step.

It just hasn’t happened. I date and have had a couple of relationships get as far as three months or so, but no one long term. So, I’m still a virgin.

Matt, a tech industry worker in his mid-30s who lives in Lansing, Michigan:

I grew up with fairly severe social anxiety, which I’ve never completely overcome. I had some early rejections in late high school and early college that completely ruined what self-esteem I had.

Continue reading “What It’s Like To Date As A 30-Something Virgin by B. Wong”

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

(Link): They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

by Jamie Rogers

September 2018

Journey to Purity creates a community for minority women abstaining from sex

Shunning premarital sex may seem old-fashioned to some, but Erica Willams says nowadays celibacy is somewhat of a movement, especially among some minority women.

Williams, 30, is the founder of Journey to Purity, a nonprofit in Virginia that aims to promote celibacy in women through education and community building efforts.

The Journey to Purity Meetup group has 102 members, and is limited to women. Williams says the majority of the women are black or Latina.
For these women, celibacy is a conscience and often faith-driven choice.

Continue reading “They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together”