A Book Called “Prude” That Uses the Term “Neo Virgin”
An author by the name of Carrie Lloyd was on Christian TV program The 700 Club today. She wrote a book called “Prude” about her choice to remain celibate after having been very sexually active while in her 20s. I think she also used the term “Neo Virgin” on the show and maybe in her book.
I have not read her book, I only saw her interview on the show today.
She was raised in a Christian household, but later drifted away from the Christian faith and then came back to the faith later.
I support her choice to remain celibate until marriage. I don’t have a problem there. However, I have to admit to not being fond of terms such as “Neo Virgin.”
Either you are a virgin or you are not one. I’m over 40 years of age and have never had sexual intercourse, not even with my ex fiance, because I was wanting to wait until marriage to have sex.
I find terms such as “Neo Virgin” or other Christian phrases such as “Born Again Virgin” or “Spiritual Virgin” to be a little demeaning to actual, honest to God virgins such as myself. Such terms dilute the real meaning of, or state of being, a virgin.
I also find it ironic that Christian culture continues to uphold fornicators as experts in how to resist sexual temptation or how to go about sexual purity and celibacy, rather than publish books by honest- to- God virgins who are past the age of 30 or older who are still maintaining their virginity.
Here is a link to a page that discusses Ms. Lloyd’s story and book:
(Link): Making Healthy Relationship Choices in an Unhealthy World
- ….Growing up, Carrie was teased about her stance on abstinence. By the time she entered high school, she was infamous with the boys at the neighboring school as one of the last remaining virgins. Once her photo was pinned to the school notice board. She was the target to see which boy could get her to lose her virginity. Her peers didn’t feel the same way she did. “No one wanted to save it for one person,” says Carrie. “This subtle prejudice toward my choices made me more determined to hold out.”
- …. Meanwhile, women were fighting for someone to love them. “I call this the curse of Eve,” says Carrie. The curse says, “Everything will be redeemed once I have found my husband,” and that a woman will be happier having found her purpose.
- THE DECADENT DAYS
- Carrie was 18 when her father underwent a serious heart operation so severe it almost killed him and left him with some brain damage. In his effort to deal with his pain, Carrie’s dad began to drink. “Seeing my preacher papa enter into substance abuse caused me to question everything he taught,” says Carrie. “What happened to relying on God?”
- When she was 23, Carrie’s dad passed away. One night Carried decided to walk away from God. She was mad at God and men and started on the path of hurting others. Several years later, Carrie had several physical relationships and reached the lowest point of her life since her father died. She prayed to God and heard an inaudible voice that said, I’ve been here all along. Carrie realized that God had never left her.
According to the rest of the article, and from what I remember from the TV interview, when she decided at some stage in her late 20s (or her 30s?) to remain abstinent, some of the men she dated broke up with her. One guy did stay with her for two years and respected her “no sex until I marry” belief, but the relationship ended, though not due to the celibate aspect.
Here is a page about her book:
(Link): Prude: Misconceptions Of A Neo-Virgin
- “SEX. LOVE. VIRGINITY? In the dating game, the V-word has become as strange and complicated as the L-word, with purity as outdated as pay phones.
- What is an ex-athiest, post-porn addict, unorthodox Christian girl to do these days?
- How can she create boundaries without scaring off every available guy? Is purity even possible without being puritanical? In this candid, humorous account of the true-life trials of Christian dating, the author shares the wisdom she’s gleaned in her quest for love in a modern world.
- She guides with grace and honesty through the often hush-hush topics of sex, porn, shame, female competition, misconceptions about purity, and those dreaded “waiting till marriage: conversations.
(Link): Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker
(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity
(Link): Celebrity Deems Herself A Born Again Virgin And Vows to Stay Celibate “For A Year” – Oh Puh-leaze
(Link): Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait
(Link): How About Using Celibates as Role Models For Celibacy? (Oddity: Christians Holding Up Non-Virgins [Fornicators] As Being Experts or Positive Examples on Sexual Purity)
(Link): She’s Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex. Here’s Her Response to Those ‘Inevitable Jerks’ Who Think Her Decision Is ‘Stupid’ – by E. Kahn
(Link): Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example
(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments
(Link): Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it (New Study Says Conservatives Have Better Self Control Than Liberals)
(Link): Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy”
(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States (2014)
(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single
(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol
(Link): Secular, Left Wing Feminist Writer Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity
(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30
(Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)
(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)
(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)
(Link): Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians
(Link): Celebrities who waited until marriage to have sex (list 2)
(Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic
(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)
(Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality
(Link): Asexuality and Asexuals
(Link): Meagan Good Tells Single Women Why They Should Stop Having Sex
(Link): Preacher: ‘They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Hot SEX Lives’ – and once more, never-married celibate adults and their experiences, wisdom, and input are ignored
(Link): Want To Grow Your Church? Advertise Sex (Story via A Little Leaven Blog)
(Link): The Decisive Marriage – Study Says Couples Who Don’t Have Pre-Marital Sex, or Not Much or Not Many Sexual Partners Pre-Marriage, Have Better Quality or Longer Lasting Marriages
(Link): Weak Argument Against Celibacy / Virginity / Sexual Purity by the Anti Sexual Purity Gestapo – Sexual Compatibility or Incompatibility – (i.e., Taking Human Beings For Test Spins – Humans As Sexual Commodities) (Part 2)
(Link): Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister
(Link): The Myth of Safe Sex by D. Foley