Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old

Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old

I was never really for or against having children myself – had I married younger, I was entertaining the idea of having at least one kid, if I could’ve done so by the age of 35.

One of the things this 85 year old woman says is something that I deduced years ago: it’s a huge mistake for any woman to base most or all of her purpose and identity in parenthood or marriage (same is true for men).

If you build most to all of your identity and purpose upon being a spouse or parent, what do you do if you or your spouse are infertile, if you have an only child and he dies young, or if your spouse is abusive so that you have to divorce him (or her), or your spouse gets into a car wreck, gets cancer, or has a heart attack and dies? Or, what happens if your spouse develops dementia, which, in a manner of speaking, kind of leaves you alone?

What happens when your children grow up and move out, leaving you alone with just your spouse?

Actually, what I’m saying here is true of anyone – if you’re a Codependent, never married, childless person, you have the tendency to lose yourself in the problems and lives of your friends, co-workers, and family members. That will end up being a waste of your time or being a mistake as well.

(Link): Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old

Even though an astonishing number of people don’t feel, and have never felt, the urge to become a parent, the pressure to have kids is still tremendous.

Any person who has made this profound decision about leading a child-free life can tell you it’s usually met in two different ways. One, people mutter a series of condescending phrases such as “oh” or “you’ll change your mind”.

Two, they actually take you seriously and instantly warn you that you’ll be lonely and regret it when you’re old.

Speaking of the latter scenario, one open letter on the ‘Childfree’ subreddit put this notion to bed once and for all.

An 85-year-old widow addressed the young people of this community, shared her experience, and proudly stated that she has zero regrets about her choice. Being married for 50 years, she offered her perspective and some validating words of wisdom.

“If I could go back in time, would I do it again? (being childfree), 100% yes. I would live the same life one thousand times,” the woman wrote. Her story sparked a discussion in the comments below, with responses ranging from kudos to appreciation. Scroll down to read the story in full and the reactions that followed.

For some reason, people who decide to lead a childfree life often hear they’ll regret it once they’re old and alone

So when this 85-year-old widow shared an open letter about her childfree experience, people felt incredibly validated

Letter from an 85 year old widow: My childfree experience and a few humble opinions

Dear Young People

I wonder if I am the oldest person to post on this forum? It was a young lady who told me about this forum and I have read many of your posts and comments for a few weeks. Many have made me smile. Some have made me wince.

It appears to me, many of you on here to validate your life changing decision.

Finding people similar to you is important and I understand the needs. So can I just say, from my experience, your decision is a good one? And if you want to know why I think that, please give me 5 minutes of your time.

I was married for just over 50 years. We bucked the norm and did not want kids. In those days we said “we are trying” for a few years than “we cannot have kids,” case closed. It was our personal secret. It was nobody’s business.

If we were honest and said “we cannot have kids, because we just don’t want them” the fallout with family and friends would have been tough for us.

Our 50 years in a nutshell was perfect. Good jobs, no money worries, followed our own interests and hobbies.

Had many friends and many lovely nieces and nephews. If I could go back in time, would I do it again? (being childfree), 100% yes. I would live the same life one thousand times.

Continue reading “Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old”

Woman Admits She’s Fed Up Feeling ‘Lesser Than’ Because She Doesn’t Have Kids

Woman Admits She’s Fed Up Feeling ‘Lesser Than’ Because She Doesn’t Have Kids

(Link): Woman admits she’s fed up of feeling ‘lesser than’ because she doesn’t have kids

If you decide not to have children, it must be really frustrating when you don’t feel like your achievements are taken seriously – just because you don’t want kids

June 30, 2022
By Danielle Kate Wroe

A woman has taken to Mumsnet to highlight the injustices she feels as though she has faced because she has chosen to be child-free.

She claims nobody seems to care about her achievements because they do not involve children.

Continue reading “Woman Admits She’s Fed Up Feeling ‘Lesser Than’ Because She Doesn’t Have Kids”

Supreme Court Overturns Roe Vs. Wade, Returns Abortion to the States

Supreme Court Overturns Roe Vs. Wade, Returns Abortion to the States

June 24, 2022

I’ve always been pro-life on abortion, and I’ve never been sexually active (one reason of many: I didn’t want to get pregnant out of wedlock), so I’m not disturbed that Roe V Wade was over-turned.

I’m not sure if abortion pills will still be allowed now, or what the legalities are of that.

Aside from saving the lives of more babies, maybe women will now stop and think more about if, when, and with whom, they have sex.

Too many feminists and liberals went from “abortion should be safe and rare” to some of these scum-buckets BRAGGING on social media about having gotten abortions. Clearly, some women began using abortion as a form of birth control, not as a last resort.

If you’re going to end the human life growing in you because you don’t want it, or you believe it conflicts with your career, you should feel a lot of regret, shame, and humility about it, not go on twitter to scream you’re “proud” of your choice – give me a break.

By the way, only women can become pregnant – not men.

“Transwomen” cannot get pregnant, so this won’t impact those clowns either way.

(Link): Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade

June 24, 202

The Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade on Friday, holding that there is no longer a federal constitutional right to an abortion.

The opinion is the most consequential Supreme Court decision in decades and will transform the landscape of women’s reproductive health in America.

Going forward, abortion rights will be determined by states, unless Congress acts.  Already, nearly half of the states have or will pass laws that ban abortion while others have enacted strict measures regulating the procedure.

… The opinion represents the culmination of a decades-long effort on the part of critics of abortion seeking to return more power to the states.  It was made possible by a solid six-member conservative majority – including three of Donald Trump’s nominees.

Continue reading “Supreme Court Overturns Roe Vs. Wade, Returns Abortion to the States”

Having 3 or More Children Negatively Impacts Late-Life Cognition: Study – by L. Blair

Having 3 or More Children Negatively Impacts Late-Life Cognition: Study – by L. Blair

(Link): Family size may influence cognitive functioning in later life

May 12, 2022

A new study at Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, and the Robert Butler Columbia Aging Center and Université Paris-Dauphine — PSL, found that having three or more versus two children has a negative effect on late-life cognition.

The results further indicated that this effect was strongest in Northern Europe, where higher fertility decreases financial resources but does not improve social resources in this region. This is the first to study the causal effect of high fertility on late-life cognition.

(Link): Having 3 or more children negatively impacts late-life cognition: study

Excerpts:

May 2022

While recent research has warned of the potential drawbacks of America’s declining fertility rate, a new study has found that having three or more children negatively affects late-life cognition.

“To the best of our knowledge, our study is the first to demonstrate a causal effect of higher fertility on late-life cognition,” researchers Eric Bonsang and Vegard Skirbekk explain in their paper “Does Childbearing Affect Cognitive Health in Later Life? Evidence From an Instrumental Variable Approach” published in Demography, the flagship journal of the Population Association of America.

Continue reading “Having 3 or More Children Negatively Impacts Late-Life Cognition: Study – by L. Blair”

Feminist Author: Stay-At-Home Moms Breed ‘Worse, More Sexist’ Men

Feminist Author: Stay-At-Home Moms Breed ‘Worse, More Sexist’ Men By Samantha Ibrahim

From what I recall reading years ago, there is a grain of truth of some of what this feminist woman wrote – I have read studies that men who have daughters tend to be less sexist than men who don’t, and that men brought up with sisters where all household chores were equally divided (the boys weren’t let off the hook for domestic chores) grow up to have more egalitarian gender attitudes than men who grow up in families where they see their parents expect or force the female children to take on more domestic duties.

I’ve also read studies saying that never-married women are happier than married women. There are studies saying people who are parents are not as happy as childless couples. (Some of these studies are linked to below under “Related Posts.”)

Having said that: while I do believe that too many conservatives (I myself am a conservative) have turned marriage and parenthood into idols, and that they do cling to some sexist stereotypes, I do not have an issue with women who knowingly walk into marriage and motherhood.

That is, I do not think that feminists should shame women who want to marry and have children any more than I think that it’s acceptable for conservatives or Christians to pressure women into thinking their only life goal should be marriage and motherhood.

(Link): Feminist author: Stay-at-home moms breed ‘worse, more sexist’ men

By Samantha Ibrahim
April 13, 2022

Controversial feminist author Jill Filipovic is preaching the “overwhelmingly negative consequences” of stay-at-home moms — and social media watchdogs are coming for her.

Filipovic, 38, detailed her stance that these mothers create “worse, more sexist” men — and women who are “psychologically and emotionally worse off” — in a now-viral (Link): Twitter thread published on Tuesday.

Continue reading “Feminist Author: Stay-At-Home Moms Breed ‘Worse, More Sexist’ Men”

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

(Link): America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

Excerpts:

Research suggests that falling fertility in the U.S. is not tied to demographics, economics or policy. But the impact could hit all three

 April 29, 2022

The U.S. birthrate keeps hitting new lows. While an average of 2.1 births per women of childbearing age is considered the replacement rate that would keep the population stable, America is now well below that, at an average of 1.6 children each.

And the desire to have children has also fallen, according to a new research brief for the Institute for Family Studies. Today, nearly 1 in 4 childless adults says “No thanks.”

In  (Link, off site, PDF): “No Honey, No Baby: The Relational and Economic Factors Associated With Having Children in America,” Wendy Wang, the institute’s director of research, looks for an explanation of a trend that now seems to buck some of the usual suspects: demographics, economics and family-friendly policy. Her research suggests a lot of separate factors are mingling to lead many young American adults to say “I don’t” to marriage and raising families.

“The decline of marriage goes hand in hand with falling fertility rates, simply because married women have a much higher fertility rate than unmarried women,” Wang writes, noting research by demographer Lyman Stone that shows about half the decline in fertility since 2008 tracks with a much lower marriage rate.

Continue reading “America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins”

The Gross, Shaming Natalism Propaganda on Gab Platform by Its Rude Members, Including By Roman Catholics and Other Conservatives

The Gross, Shaming Natalism Propaganda on Gab Platform by Its Rude Members, Including By Roman Catholics and Other Conservatives

A few days ago, someone I follow on Gab – I was automatically signed up to follow that person when I joined the site, I did not choose to follow them on my own – (with Gab being a social media platform that is similar to Twitter) shared a meme by someone else called “Disco.”

You can view that meme (Link): here on Gab.

I will also provide a screen shot below.

By the way, I am not as familiar with Gab’s functions and commenting as I am with Twitter’s, so I am not quite sure how to reply to people on Gab or how to link to specific comments by myself or others.

I am a pro-life conservative.

I am not opposed to equal rights for women, but I don’t identify as a feminist.

I don’t really fit in totally over on Gab, a platform which unfortunately attracts a lot of extreme right wing kooks (but some of the users seem okay),
but I don’t really fit in over on Twitter, either (where I was suspended for months previously before I got posting ability again),
because Twitter is over-run with far left “nut jobs,” most of whose views I normally do not agree with. natalismPropagandaImage

I have found that both conservatives and liberals / progressives are about equally annoying and wrong on the parenthood, marriage, or nuclear family topics.

Not all progressives or liberals are opposed to women having children; they just believe (and I agree with this concept, though I am a conservative) that women (and men) should be permitted to decide for themselves if they truly want to be a parent or not.

People should not be guilt tripped or pressured into having children.

There are some very fringe, far-out there leftists who are “anti nuclear family” and who are opposed to people having children, and they call themselves “anti natalists.”

I don’t agree with progressives who try to propagandize women (or men) from having children.

I don’t think it’s the progressives’ place to try to brainwash, scold, shame, or guilt trip people from having children.

But then I see the reverse dynamic from a lot of secular and Christian conservatives.

I see people who identify as conservative or Roman Catholic on sites such as GAB who keep pumping out these stupid, horrid, “Have ten kids by the time you’re 30” type memes or comments.

And these views are not even “biblical.”

Continue reading “The Gross, Shaming Natalism Propaganda on Gab Platform by Its Rude Members, Including By Roman Catholics and Other Conservatives”

Christian Conservatives Explain Outrage Over Dave Rubin’s Surrogacy Announcement – Women Used As Props in Homosexual or Transgender Communities

Christian Conservatives Explain Outrage Over Dave Rubin’s Surrogacy Announcement – Women Used As Props in Homosexual or Transgender Communities

I actually follow Dave Rubin on Twitter. I’ve known for awhile he used to be liberal and became a conservative at some point, and he is a homosexual.

I am not too educated on the topic of surrogacy, so that is something I need to research.

In the past year, and though I’m not a feminist myself, I started following a lot of anti-trans-agenda feminists (they tend to call it “radical feminism”), and some of them are strongly opposed to women being used as surrogates to provide babies for other people.

One of my only annoyances with this at this stage, based on what little I know, are Christians who criticize married, infertile (hetero) couples who turn to a surrogate mother and/or IVF, etc, to have a child.

The reason I dislike this, is that I find it hypocritical: most Christian churches, denominations, and persons present being married and having children as being “better” than being single and childless.

So, Christians shame adults for being single and childless, but when or if that adult then tries to take steps to make marriage or pregnancy possible (whether by using dating sites, IVF, a surrogate), that same Christian, church, or denomination will shame that single, childless adult.

You will get shamed or criticized by Christians for striving for the very thing or life goal they are constantly pushing in your face, whether it’s marriage or parenthood.

I may not necessarily be in agreement with all opinions expressed below by other authors.

(Link): No Allies Who Buy Babies

The problem of gay surrogacy reminds us that the right’s alliance with anti-woke liberals cannot and should not survive.

…This, of course, is the primary issue: the moral abomination of surrogacy itself, the commodification of the human child, the relegation of women to the status of incubators. But there is a secondary concern as well.

The same people who make a living being outraged that Lia Thomas, who is a man, is allowed to swim in the women’s races for his college cannot turn around and tell us that there’s nothing wrong with two dudes having babies together.

Is there a difference between men and women, or is there not?

The normalization of homosexuality, and especially the normalization of homosexual parenthood, necessarily leads to the more radical gender ideology advancing from the left today.

Continue reading “Christian Conservatives Explain Outrage Over Dave Rubin’s Surrogacy Announcement – Women Used As Props in Homosexual or Transgender Communities”

Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

To anyone who may be new to this blog:
I am not anti-nuclear family, anti-marriage, or anti-parenthood, but I do oppose conservatives, Christians, or any person or group who deifies any of those things, or who pressures or shames people into getting married and having children.


I think pieces like the one below put to bed the common Christian “marriage fairy tale” narrative (that used to be more common in secular culture too), that if you just marry (and have children), that you will find happiness and meaning; all your dreams will come true.

You have all these married people in these confessions below who still are not happy, in spite of the fact they are married, and some of them have children, too.

(Link): Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

Excerpts:

“Having children has made me hate him.”

by Liz Richardson

A while back, redditor u/dusty_ninja asked the internet, “What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?” Several married people shared shocking secrets they’ve been keeping from their spouses — and some of them are heartbreaking.

Here are some of the most surprising ones:

2. “I’m afraid to tell my husband that before we met and got married, I was hooking up with a married man.”
“It happened at a time when I wasn’t in a good place (I know it’s bad what I did). Even if my husband is not judgmental at all and doesn’t care about past behaviors, I’m afraid he might see me differently.”

—tidissik

3. “That having children has made me hate him.”

“He loves his kids and provides for them financially, but I do everything else — and he only helps if I ask or direct him to. It’s exhausting, and I’ve never been more resentful/angry at someone else so much in my entire life.”

Continue reading “Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking”

Billboards by Leftists Imploring that Everyone Should Stop Having Kids Start Popping Up

Billboards by Leftists Imploring that Everyone Should Stop Having Kids Start Popping Up

I normally blog here about the conservative, right wing, Christian obsession with the Nuclear Family, natalism, marriage, and parenthood, and how this extreme focus has turned into idolatry and ends up hurting childless or single (never married, divorced, and widowed) people.

So, while on the one hand, I am not a supporter of secular or Christian conservatives guilt tripping, pressuring, or shaming people into marrying or having kids and trash talking singleness (or the state of being childless), I’m not a supporter of leftist groups who shame and guilt trip people across the board about having children.

If you’re an adult, I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to shame or lecture you to have children or to not have them. If you want to have a child, by all means, have one – IMO, the most ideal situation is to marry a person first and have a baby with that person you’re married to.

So shame on these progressives with their stupid billboards trying to tell people to NOT have children.

As I’ve said before on other, older blog posts, on some topics, liberals and progressives are NO BETTER than the conservatives and evangelicals they criticize – they’re just as bad, if not worse, and they are merely the flip side of the same coin.

(Link): This Is A Real Billboard In Oregon Imploring People To “Stop Having Kids”

by Harris Rigby

March 26, 2022

So, the radical Left in their support for abortion has been stringently anti-life for decades now. But this new branch of the movement is perhaps the most shocking and radical yet.

Billboards have been popping up around Oregon with a disastrously anti-humanity message:

billboardStopHavingKids

Yep. This is the Brave New World next level of the left: Stop having kids.

Continue reading “Billboards by Leftists Imploring that Everyone Should Stop Having Kids Start Popping Up”

Taiwan’s Birth Rate Sinks to Alarming Low as Pampered Pets Replace Babies by Nicola Smith

Taiwan’s Birth Rate Sinks to Alarming Low as Pampered Pets Replace Babies

(Link): Taiwan’s birth rate sinks to alarming low as pampered pets replace babies

Excerpts:

by Nicola Smith
Feb 22, 2022

…Taiwan has long lived with the terrifying prospect of invasion by neighbouring China, but one of the biggest threats to its economic security and prosperity of its society lies from within – the lowest birth rates in the world.

…As young people struggle with low wages, unaffordable house prices and work pressures that create an unfriendly environment for families, a visible sign of the reluctance to have children is the stark rise in pet ownership.

In September 2020, analysts estimated the number of domestic pets – about 3 million – had surpassed the number of children under the age of 15. The sale of pet accessories had a parallel boom, and now on the streets of Taipei, prams are often more likely carry dogs than babies.

Continue reading “Taiwan’s Birth Rate Sinks to Alarming Low as Pampered Pets Replace Babies by Nicola Smith”

Internet Blasts Man for Hiding Four Children From Fiancee

Internet Blasts Man for Hiding Four Children From Fiancee

(Link): Internet Blasts Man for Hiding Four Children From Fiancee

BY SAMANTHA BERLIN ON 2/4/22

A woman went viral online after sharing her current situation between her brother and his fiancée in a Reddit post in the popular “Am I The A**hole” subreddit titled “AITA for bringing up my brother’s four kids to his fiance [sic] and potentially ruining an engagement?”

In the post, the anonymous Redditor who goes by u/miabee_02 explained that she brought up her brother’s four children to his fiancée and was unaware that she had no idea he had kids.

Continue reading “Internet Blasts Man for Hiding Four Children From Fiancee”