More Christian Abuse Survivor Infighting – Yikes – this time it involves ‘Sacred Wilderness’

More Christian Abuse Survivor Infighting – Yikes – this time it involves ‘Sacred Wilderness’

Several months ago, Christian abuse survivor advocates were ganging up on Christian journalist Julie Roys – I wrote a blog post or two about it, like (Link): this one. I’ve been meaning to write another post or two about it but didn’t get around to it (maybe some day – a lot of Christian abuse survivor advocates are appallingly ignorant about Codependency).

This time, there was another “Civil War” among Christian abuse survivor advocates, some of the names or groups I do not recognize.

Someone named Johnna Harris (who runs or is somehow affiliated with a group called Sacred Wilderness) was being accused of things, and attacked for weeks on end, by another so-called Christian abuse survivor advocate calling himself Kyle Howard. Also, staff or volunteers of SW (Sacred Wilderness) were accusing higher ups at SW of abuse or something.

Again, I’m not familiar with everyone in this drama, so I’m not sure who started what and why, and who is pushing what agenda – well, after having read through the PDF mentioned below, I now have a better idea, but it’s a somewhat long and convoluted mess.

This SW group hired a third party to investigate them, to ensure they were above board.

They released their findings of this third party in (Link): an open letter, Organizational Assessment with Pellucid Consulting,  and a PDF file (I believe the PDF file is linked to at the bottom of the open letter).

Excerpts from the open letter:

Kyle Howard has personally tweeted many hurtful lies towards one of our founding members, Johnna Harris, including tagging her in an email claiming that she was fearful Kyle would try to sexually assault her. This is just one example of hundreds of tweets that we have screenshots of directly targeting Johnna or her work.

Our former employee tweeted on multiple occasions that we chose to do an assessment over an investigation. He said that was wrong because since abuse claims had already been made we should have gone straight to an investigation.

We interviewed and reached out to several corporate investigation companies, both secular and non-secular.

After reviewing our situation with associates of three companies, none of those companies thought we qualified for an investigation. Things they brought up were that we “were not a company with a history of abuse,” “this is too small for them to take on,” and “this just sounds like a corporate conflict where you need to amicably part ways and move on.”

There are so many examples of harmful things said about us that could have been included, but we encourage you to read the report to see more, specifically pages 38-48.
— end excerpts —

Continue reading “More Christian Abuse Survivor Infighting – Yikes – this time it involves ‘Sacred Wilderness’”

Famous Social Media Rabbi Charged With Raping One of His Several Adopted Sons, Molesting Others, While He Raised Them as a Single Dad

Famous Social Media Rabbi Charged With Raping One of His Several Adopted Sons, Molesting Others, While He Raised Then as a Single Dad

Have to point out that not all single adults are pedophiles or horn dogs. There are married people who rape or molest children, or who commit adultery – I have many examples of such on my blog.

Don’t automatically assume that any and every unmarried man who works around children is diddling the children.

This guy also supposedly faked having health problems in order to sucker people, manipulate them, and get pity from people, and I imagine he faked sickness so nobody would be as apt to suspect he was a child molester.

I’ve written a blog post or two before warning people, especially anyone who is very…

  • empathetic,
  • caring,
  • a people pleaser,
  • a codependent,
  • someone with
  • Emotional dependency, and/or who has
  • Dependent personality disorder,

to be aware of the fact that there are child molesters, and people with personality disorders such as sociopathy, NPD (pathological narcissism), and psychopathy, who will not hesitate to exploit your empathy and warm nature to use those positive qualities against you, or to manipulate you into lowering your boundaries or not investigating them too closely.

Also note that contra most conservative propaganda about parenthood, that being a parent did not make this man any less of a pervert, or any more loving, responsible, caring, or ethical.

(Link): Texan who posed as Hasidic Jew and adopted 9 boys charged with sexually abusing kids

(Link): Phony Hasidic TikTok-famous dad charged with molesting adopted sons after boy speaks out

March 7, 2023
by Lee Brown

A phony Hasidic dad who found social-media acclaim for adopting nine boys has been charged with sexually abusing most of them — while out on bond in an earlier child sex case, according to disturbing reports.

Single dad Hayim Nissim Cohen, 38, regularly blogged about his “unique family” in Houston, gaining nearly 200,000 followers on TikTok.

But “behind all that is excessive abuse,” local prosecutor Janna Oswald told a recent court hearing, according to the Houston Chronicle.

Cohen — who claimed to be a Hasidic Jew from Brooklyn despite being born Jeffrey Lujan Vejil in the Lone Star State — was busted last month after one of his sons went on a podcast to anonymously report being raped and abused, the local paper noted.

The terrified 17-year-old boy told BlindSkinnedBeauty that he’d been sexually assaulted since he was 11 — weeks after his adoption — and claimed many of his brothers were also abused.

Continue reading “Famous Social Media Rabbi Charged With Raping One of His Several Adopted Sons, Molesting Others, While He Raised Them as a Single Dad”

New Jersey Man Admits Paying $20k in Cryptocurrency to Murder 14-Year-Old in Order to Prevent Her Testimony in Child Porn Case

New Jersey Man Admits Paying $20k in Cryptocurrency to Murder 14-Year-Old in Order to Prevent Her Testimony in Child Porn Case

We are living in very depraved times.

Some news reports say that the teen in question is a girl other sources say it was a boy.

(Link): N.J. man hired hitman for $20K in Bitcoin to kill a 14-year-old, prosecutors say

John Michael Musbach used the dark web to pay for the hit in 2016 to prevent the teen from testifying against him in a child sex abuse case, authorities said.

(Link): New Jersey man admits to paying hit man $20,000 in bitcoin to kill 14-year-old child, Justice Department says 

(Link): A Haddonfield man who sent explicit photos to a 14-year-old pleaded guilty to trying to hire a hitman to kill him

A 31-year-old Haddonfield man admitted Thursday that he spent $20,000 in bitcoin to try to have a 14-year-old boy killed after learning he was under investigation for trading sexually explicit photos with the teen.

(Link): New Jersey man admits to paying $20k in cryptocurrency to murder 14-year-old in order to prevent her testimony in child porn case

Feb 3, 2023
by Carlos Garcia

A New Jersey man admitted to paying $20,000 in cryptocurrency to have a 14-year-old girl murdered in order to prevent her testimony in a criminal case involving child pornography.

U.S. attorney Philip R. Sellinger announced the guilty plea made by John Michael Musbach in a press release Friday.

Musbach was first arrested in March 2016 for child pornography over sexually explicit photographs and videos he exchanged with a 13-year-old teenager living in New York. The teen’s parents discovered the inappropriate interactions on the girl’s phone and contacted police.

Continue reading “New Jersey Man Admits Paying $20k in Cryptocurrency to Murder 14-Year-Old in Order to Prevent Her Testimony in Child Porn Case”

“Non-Binary Queer” Artist (who supports Progressive Causes) Arrested After Arranging to Rape A 9-Year-Old Boy, Distributing Child Abuse Material

“Non-Binary Queer” Artist (who supports Progressive Causes) Arrested After Arranging to Rape A 9-Year-Old Boy, Distributing Child Abuse Material

It’s a progressive pervert! This pervert even supports “Black Lives Matter.”

 (Link): “Non-Binary Queer” Artist Arrested After Arranging to Rape A 9-Year-Old Boy, Distributing Child Abuse Material

By Yuliah Alma
December 20, 2022

Content Warning: This article contains graphic descriptions of child sexual abuse materials as recorded in an FBI complaint. Reader discretion is appreciated.


A “non-binary queer” artist has been arrested after attempting to meet a 9-year-old child for sex. Efrem Zelony-Mindell, 35, was arrested in Manhattan, New York on December 16.

According to the Department of Justice, Zelony-Mindell had begun communicating with an undercover FBI agent earlier this year after meeting him on Scruff, a hook-up application for homosexual men. During these conversations, Zelony-Mindell slowly eased into asking the agent if he was “into taboo,” and expressed an interest in “yng incest dad son.” He then repeatedly and graphically stated his desire to sexually abuse children, and sent the undercover agent child sexual abuse material.

Approximately one month later, the undercover agent offered to introduce Zelony-Mindell to another agent posing as a father of a 9-year-old boy willing to allow him to rape his son.

The predator immediately jumped at the opportunity, and advised the second agent of his desire to sexually abuse the 9-year-old. Arrangements were then made for the two to meet after they had spoken both through an encrypted messaging service, text message, and on the phone.

…Zelony-Mindell had also sent videos and images of child pornography to the agent after admitting his interest in pedophilia …

Continue reading ““Non-Binary Queer” Artist (who supports Progressive Causes) Arrested After Arranging to Rape A 9-Year-Old Boy, Distributing Child Abuse Material”

Married Pastor, Father of 3, Faces Prison Time For Sex (ie, Sexual Abuse) With Teenage Intern During Counseling – by L. Blair

Married Pastor, Father of 3, Faces Prison Time For Sex (ie, Sexual Abuse) With Teenage Intern During Counseling – by L. Blair

I’m grateful that the site or reporter mentioned that this guy is a MARRIED FATHER. Too often in culture – especially among Christians – there’s an assumption that single adults are perverts, when, quite often, these news reports of perverts are married perverts, and sometimes, these married perverts have biological children of their own.

This guy is so gross for 50 different reasons, some of which are, that he groomed and sexually abused these kids in churches – during counseling sessions. Lord. So nasty.

Also note: marriage and parenthood did NOT make this man more godly, mature, ethical, or responsible (as so many hyper pro Nuclear Family conservatives and Christians teach), and no, obviously, since this pervert got a spouse, God is NOT keeping spouses from single adults until they achieve some level of godliness or perfection.

(Link): Married pastor, father of 3 faces up to 35 years in prison for sex with teenage intern during counseling 

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
December 19, 2022

A married Minnesota pastor and father of three is facing up to 35 years in prison and $90,000 in fines for allegedly having felonious sex multiple times with a teenage intern during counseling sessions at his former church.

Investigator Shawn Bohnen of the Sleepy Eye Police Department declared in a probable cause affidavit filed in Brown County Court that from about October 2019 through February 2020, Pastor Nathan Van Alfred Luong, 36, engaged in a sexual relationship with his underage victim multiple times while he counseled her at Trinity Lutheran Church.

Under Minnesota Law, members of the clergy can be charged with criminal sexual conduct in the third degree if a complainant is not their spouse and sexual penetration occurred during a meeting where the complainant sought or received religious spiritual advice, aid or comfort from the perpetrator.

Continue reading “Married Pastor, Father of 3, Faces Prison Time For Sex (ie, Sexual Abuse) With Teenage Intern During Counseling – by L. Blair”

To Forgive Or Not To Forgive Your Abuser – The Unintended Fallout: Possible Emotional Abuse or Exploitation Of Your Codependent Friend or Family Member

To Forgive Or Not To Forgive Your Abuser – The Unintended Fallout: Possible Emotional Abuse or Exploitation Of Your Codependent Friend or Family Member

I was watching a video today by psychologist Dr. Ramani, who I like very much, and I agree with her most of the time.

I even agree with most of her comments in this particular recent video she made that I will be discussing in this post, but it brought to mind one over-looked aspect pertaining to volatile or abusive relationships.

In the video (link to that video here, and I will embed it below, the title is, “Is there virtue in forgiving a narcissist who doesn’t apologize?”), Dr. Ramani expressed that she pretty much disagrees with the concept that people should have to forgive others, or that forgiving others makes a person stronger, etc.

Dr. Ramani rightly points out in that video that continually forgiving pathologically narcissistic persons is a waste of your time, for various reasons I shall not explain here (you can watch her video for explanations). I do agree with her on that.

If someone in your life keeps hurting, abusing, or mistreating you, no matter how many times you’ve forgiven them and given them a second, third, etc, chance,
you need to accept the fact this person is more than likely NEVER going to change and that they merely view your willingness to always forgive him or her as a weakness to repeatedly exploit.
So cut that person from your life, or limit time around them.

It’s not that I disagree with Dr. Ramani’s comments in the video on the face of things, but, I am concerned for Codependents.

On a similar note, in years past, I’ve also read books or seen videos about how people can help their abused friends.

I’ve seen videos by women who divorced their abusive husbands who reel off a list of tips on how you, the friend, can be supportive towards the friend in the abusive marriage.

These videos, books, and online articles, contain lists of things to say or to avoid saying when trying to help someone who is currently in an abusive relationship or someone who was abused in childhood.

Many of these books, videos, and web pages (most by therapists, psychologists or recovered abusive victims) often stress that you, the friend, should just sit and listen to the friend – just validate the friend, do not give advice, judge, or criticize.

I am a recovered Codependent (I wrote a very, very long post about that here).

I am also an Introvert. Introverts naturally make better attentive listeners than Extroverts.

So, as someone who is an Introvert and a one-time Codependent, I was very adept at giving the sort of emotional support a lot of troubled people seek out and find comforting.

For over 35 years, due to the parenting of my mother and the guilt tripping-, sexist-, Codependent- pushing- teachings under “gender complementarianism” of the Southern Baptist church I was brought up in, I had no boundaries, I was not assertive, and it was implied it is my job or responsibility in life to rescue or help other people, whatever format that came in.

All of that was taught to me as I grew up under the false, gender complementarian assumption (and my mother and father bought into some of this thinking too) that God created women to be more caring than men, it would be un-feminine or selfish for a woman to have boundaries, and I was taught that it was women’s “duty” to be care-takers for the hurting.

For me, most often, the support and care-taking my Mom and church taught me to engage in came in the form of “Emotional Labor,” and it made my already bad mental health in years past even worse.

(I was diagnosed at a very young age with clinical depression, I also had anxiety disorders and had low self esteem for many years. I no longer have depression or low self esteem.)

If you are an abuse victim, or if you’ve been bullied at a job, or you were abused in a marriage, or you were sexually or physically abused as a child by a family member (or by a neighbor, or by whomever),
I know it can be helpful, now, as an adult, to sit and talk to an empathetic listener about it, it can feel so good for that listener to sit quietly while you do most of the talking, and for that person to validate you and your experiences.

It can be very healing and feel like a tremendous relief for that listener to refrain from victim blaming you, offering advice or platitudes.

It can help in the healing process for another adult to believe you and just offer non-judgmental emotional support as you relate your trauma and pain to them.

I realize all that.

But have you ever considered that the caring, non-judgmental, empathetic person you keep turning to, whether it’s a friend or a family member, might be highly codependent and your repeated use of that person as your emotional support system may be damaging to THAT PERSON?

Because I was that person, for over 35 years.

I was the sweet, caring, understanding, supportive listener that many people – co-workers on jobs, family, neighbors, friends –
would call, e-mail, snail mail, or text with their problems, because they KNEW I would always listen to them rant (for hours on end, if need be, over months and years), I would NEVER put time limits on their rants, and I would ALWAYS respond in a timely fashion to ranting or sad e-mails or texts.

I spent over 35 years giving a lot of non-qualified, no-strings-attached emotional support to a lot of emotionally wounded or abused people over my life.

Some of these people called or e-mailed me over job stress, health problems, troubled marriages, financial issues, or, they were single and were lonely – they couldn’t get a boyfriend (or girlfriend).

None of these people who called or texted me to complain or sob to me ever once considered how their regular, negative phone calls (or letters or face to face chats) were impacting me. For the ones who considered it, I suppose they didn’t care.

If you choose not to forgive your abuser, that is your choice to make, but…

Be aware that if you choose to not forgive but to also hold on to your hurt and anger, and to choose to ruminate on the abuse,
and should you choose to deal with and vent that anger and hurt by regularly calling your Codependent friend to listen to your rants or sobbing – you are abusing your Codependent friend or family member, which is not acceptable.

In all the years I granted emotional support to hurting people (including but not limited to co-workers who’d stop by my cubicle during work hours to bend my ear for an hour or more about their divorce or health problems), I was never once thanked.

The non-stop support I gave was never acknowledged. And giving that non-stop support was exhausting and taxing for me, as I know it can be for other Codependent persons.

A “thank you” once in awhile from these people who came to me to dump their problems on me would’ve been appreciated. I never got one.

Reciprocation would’ve been appreciated and helpful too, but the people who were abuse survivors, or assorted chronic complainers who used me to vent to, very rarely to never asked about ME and MY struggles in life.

Continue reading “To Forgive Or Not To Forgive Your Abuser – The Unintended Fallout: Possible Emotional Abuse or Exploitation Of Your Codependent Friend or Family Member”

Texas Pastor Caught with ‘BDSM’ and Bestiality-Themed Child Pornography Voluntarily Admitted He Has an Addiction, Feds Say

Texas Pastor Caught with ‘BDSM’ and Bestiality-Themed Child Pornography Voluntarily Admitted He Has an Addiction, Feds Say

I don’t know how conservative Christians can keep insisting upon “male headship” or male-only pastors, when so many male pastors end up being rapists and abusers.

Complementarians sometimes like to argue that complementarianism keeps girls and women safe – no, it does not. They seem to assume that men are more wise or moral than women… no, no they are not.

(Link): Former Faith Baptist Church pastor faces up to 20 years in prison after child porn arrest 

(Link): Pastor of Texas church ‘knew it was wrong,’ but kept downloading child porn, feds say 

Nov 14, 2022

The longtime pastor of a Texas baptist church was arrested on child porn charges after federal authorities said he downloaded and shared the explicit content — at times from the church.

David Lloyd Walther, the pastor at Faith Baptist Church in Round Rock, was charged with distribution, receipt, transportation and possession of child pornography, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Texas.

On this page, which is reporting on this crime, is this photo caption:

David Walther, wishing his congregation a Merry Christmas alongside a woman who appears to be his wife.

Ah, so he’s likely married.

Well, you know, contrary to most religious and secular conservatives, marriage does not fix society or make a person more ethical, responsible, loving, or mature. I am not against marriage, but I do very much dispute the undue emphasis that so many conservatives place upon marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family.

Considering that so many self professing Christian men, even ones that pastor or otherwise work at churches, turn out to be rapists and perverts, if you’re a Christian single adult, you need to get rid of the “equally yoked” rule and open your dating pool to non-Christians.

There’s no advantage in sticking to Christians only, and there aren’t enough single Christian men for the women who’d like to date.

Also, contrary to most Christian “how to get married” advice I heard when younger, God is not going to with-hold a spouse from you because you’re not good or godly enough… God apparently allowed this pervert pastor below to marry, so there’s no litmus test for “earning” a spouse from God.

(Link): Texas Pastor Caught with ‘BDSM’ and Bestiality-Themed Child Pornography Voluntarily Admitted He Has an Addiction, Feds Say

Nov 11, 2022
by Matt Naham

A 56-year-old pastor at Faith Baptist Church in Round Rock, Texas who was caught with”BDSM” and bestiality-themed child pornography in his possession admitted he has an addiction, the Department of Justice alleges. David Lloyd Walther now faces federal charges for distribution, receipt, transportation and possession of child pornography.

According to the affidavit, which Law&Crime is not sharing in this instance because of how detailed it is, the pastor had a “BDSM” folder containing an image of a nude boy with a collar on his neck and being sexually abused, a similar image of a female toddler, and images of nude young boys and girls being restrained by ropes and tools.

A “Zoo” folder allegedly contained a bestiality video involving a dog and a female toddler “likely less than three years old.”

The feds allege that the defendant also downloaded several videos through BitTorrent showing young girls being sexually abused by adult men.

Continue reading “Texas Pastor Caught with ‘BDSM’ and Bestiality-Themed Child Pornography Voluntarily Admitted He Has an Addiction, Feds Say”

Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Danger of Victimhood Mentality

Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Dangers of Victimhood Mentality

I wanted to explain a few things before I paste in excerpts from the article about victimhood by Gunderman, so nobody will misunderstand my views upfront.

I do think there are actual victims out there in life, including in the Christian church context. I am not denying that.

I recognize that sometimes painful or unfair things happen to all of us in life, and sometimes those painful things are due to other people’s cruelty, incompetence, negligence, or sins against us, and not due to any personal moral failings or choices we make.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people through no fault of those people. One can be more sinned against than sinner.

A few years ago, there was a guy on Twitter with several accounts (he seemed to be a Christian), all of which were disgustingly used to mock victims of church abuse or of sexual abuse whose churches tried to cover up the abuse.

I think he later deleted these accounts, or his accounts received so many complaints from others that Twitter deleted them all.

One of his Twitter accounts used the name “Victim Princess,” as if to suggest that any and all women who spoke out against abuse they received by their churches or by Christians was nothing but entitled, petty whining with no merit. I was appalled by his account.

This guy would do things like actually tweet rude or nasty comments at Christian women on Twitter who discussed how their church covered up their abuse by other church members.

Politically, I am a conservative, and I do not agree with the vast majority of liberal or progressive “woke,” intersectional identity politics, which is largely based on victimhood mentality.

In progressive identity politics, different identity groups end up competing for “who is the most oppressed and biggest victim in life,” which creates (not solves) all sorts of problems.

However, while I do think that the “woke” go over-board with their grievance culture mentality, that does not mean that people who complain about having been hurt in life are always lying, exaggerating, or trying to get special accommodations.

Out of Knee Jerk Dislike of Wokeness, Among Other Factors, Sadly, Too Often, Too Many Conservatives Minimize Actual Abuse

While some progressives over-play the “victim card” to exploit and manipulate others, it is still wrong for conservatives to deny, minimize, or to reject altogether that churches do usually cover up sexual abuse in their midst or by their members.

It is wrong for conservatives to fail to acknowledge the reality that most pastors and churches do in fact fail domestic abuse victims and constantly enable abusers.

I do think that most churches are insensitive and incompetent at handling abuse among their members, and that should change.

There is such a thing as a victim. People can be exploited, hurt, and abused by other people – that is not something that “woke” liberals and progressives are making up.

I’m a conservative who has been taken advantage of and bullied through my life by school mates, my ex fiance, siblings, co-workers on jobs, etc., and this through no fault of my own.

Victims do actually exist.

Conservatives can and have been abused and mistreated on an individual and group level, whether by liberal and progressive persons and policies, or by their spouses or bosses on jobs.

At one time or another, we’ve all been bullied, abused, harassed, exploited, or on the receiving end of rude or cutting comments, regardless of our identity or political beliefs.

It is therefore unrealistic and cruel for conservatives to act like any and every person who claims victim status is a sensitive snowflake or is lying about it.

Flip Side of Coin: People Who Choose to Stay in Victimhood Status (yes, it’s ultimately a choice), Refuse to Move Forward

However, I have seen people, and groups of people, who – whether they are actual victims or not – wallow in victimhood status and victimhood mentality, and this is not acceptable, either.

Some of those still participating in the “exvangelical” (ex-evangelical) tag over on Twitter in 2022, which has been going on for several years now, are one example of this.

I’ve seen so many people, under that “exvangelical” tag,  as well as non-ex-evangelical people I once befriended online,
or people (including family members I’ve had, real life friends and co-workers) who may have been honestly victimized and wounded in childhood or adulthood, but they remain “stuck” in their rage, anger, and hurt – they still think of themselves as victims, and they want to be viewed as victims.

They want to be endlessly coddled and validated.

These are people who are very resistant to, or who refuse to take, the only avenue out of the pain, regret, anger, and disappointment and into joy, peace, and happiness – which includes, after a period of grieving and anger (that comes to an end and does not go on indefinitely),

  • accepting, once for all, what happened to them,
    realizing that remaining focused on external causes and other people (ie, their abuser or abusive church) is keeping them “stuck,”
  • to make a deliberate decision at some point to move forward, whether they “feel like it” or not
    (i.e., to no longer stew in anger, to ruminate, stew in past wrongs done against them, to dwell on how life is unfair, to dwell upon the idea they are a good person who didn’t deserve the abuse, etc),
  • to realize in order to change their life for the better, they will have to look inwards,
    which will allow them to get to the next healing point…
  • take personal responsibility for their life, healing,
    and realize if you want your life to change,
    you will have to get active and make changes yourself
    – sitting around all day doing things like watching TV or complaining to people on social media about how life, your former church, God, or your abuser, treated you so unfairly
    (even if any and all those things are in fact true, ie, you WERE treated horribly and unfairly)
    – won’t ultimately help you in the long run, it won’t make the necessary changes;
    complaining frequently, and receiving validation that, yes, what happened to you was horrible and wrong, and yes, you were a victim who didn’t deserve abuse, will only offer temporary emotional relief but will not produce long lasting inner peace and happiness

Stewing in anger, hurt, and regret and enjoying or wanting to receive validation that one did not deserve to be abused, is all but a step in the overall journey of healing.
It is the first step… but too many victims want to stay in Step One forever and ever, rather than moving through the rest of the steps.

Yes, there should be time limits on how long you are angry, ruminating, and upset and wanting to receive validation – a lot of therapists and victims (and former victims) get upset when this view point is stated, but it’s true.

Maybe that time limit is different for each victim and should not be rushed – which is fine.

HOWEVER, I do not support any person staying mired in “victimhood land” perpetually.

Staying in step one – never getting over or past the anger and hurt, refusing to let go or from even considering to do so, being addicted to external validation like it’s a drug one craves and needs – is one huge component of what keeps people trapped in depression, anger, pain, and from enjoying the rest of their life.

If you feel perpetually wounded, hurt, or angry, as long as you keep shifting blame towards those outside you (even if yes, those others deserve that blame), as long as you continue to dwell on being angry at your abuser, at God, life circumstances, or former churches that treated you like trash, you’ll never be able to move on and enjoy life again.

You have to look inwards in order to move forward, and that is a choice one has to make, because it won’t instantaneously happen.

Furthermore, your emotions will never magically change on their own; you will never “feel” like getting up, making changes, and moving forward. It’s a matter or choice and self discipline.

So if your mindset is, “I will make changes and move on when I feel like it, when my emotions change,” that is never going to happen.

Moving on is more a matter of will.

While I do think there are actual victims out there (and anti-woke conservatives need to be sensitive to these persons),
I’m also aware of legitimate victims who cannot or who refuse to move on,

-and there are persons with Covert or Vulnerable Narcissism (a personality disorder – more about that on this blog (Link): here and (Link): here), a hallmark of which is holding a life-long self-pitying, victimhood mentality – these people, of their own accord, are mired in depression and misery of their own making, because they refuse to look inwards and take personal responsibility.

Covert Narcissists, for one, prefer to point the finger of blame for their misery at their family of origin, God, and / or their former church, ex-spouses, and so on. They never want to look at how their attitudes or actions keep them in a limited, unhappy situation.

Sorry for that very long intro, but I didn’t want anyone to get to the following link and excerpts and think by posting it that I am in denial that yes, at times in life, sometimes people have legitimate pain and grievances and can be honest to goodness victims.

I do believe there are honest- to- goodness victims out there and that these victims deserve compassion, empathy, and justice,
but – however –
I am also aware that, unfortunately, some people, whether legitimate victim or not, will milk and exploit a “victim” label to lash out at others, to demand special treatment (at the expense of others), and that  clinging to a “victim” identity and view of themselves will cause them to remain stuck in unhappiness.

I have more commentary below this link with excerpts:

Pathologies of Victimhood – the Essay

(Link): Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – Victimhood Mentality

Excerpts:

by Richard Gunderman
November 13, 2022

[Piece opens by discussing the late Sacheen Littlefeather, who claimed to be a Native American but who was actually of Mexican descent. She wanted to be viewed as a Native American to depict herself as an undertrodden member of a victim class.
As someone who actually is part Native American, I don’t view myself as a victim, so I find her ploy strange]

…Everyone has experienced genuine victimization at some point in their lives. Some have been the victims of political persecution and violent assault, while others have suffered lesser slights, such as bullying, verbal insults, and interruptions when speaking.

Most of us have also experienced situations where presumed victimhood stemmed from a mistaken assumption—for example, a driver who “cut off” a fellow motorist by abruptly changing lanes might appear to harbor malicious intent, but it might turn out that he was merely attempting to get to the hospital as quickly as possible to be with an ailing loved one.

Some among us, however, have a habit of adopting a posture of victimhood too easily and too often, a tendency that can damage communities, interpersonal relationships, and supposed victims themselves.

Continue reading “Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Danger of Victimhood Mentality”

South Carolina Church Investigating Student Pastor Who Gave Teens ‘I ❤ Hot Youth Pastors’ Sticker

South Carolina Church Investigating Student Pastor Who Gave Teens ‘I ❤ Hot Youth Pastors’ Sticker 

(Link): South Carolina church investigating student pastor who gave teens ‘i ❤ hot youth pastors’ sticker

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
October 11, 2022

A South Carolina church has launched an investigation and placed its student pastor on administrative leave after outrage erupted online over stickers he gave to minors in his care that say, “i ❤️ hot youth pastors.”

Fairview Baptist Church said in a statement from deacons and their personnel team on Facebook Sunday that Cory Wall, their suspended student pastor, has acknowledged he made a “poor decision” and they are treating that decision “very seriously.”

Continue reading “South Carolina Church Investigating Student Pastor Who Gave Teens ‘I ❤ Hot Youth Pastors’ Sticker”

Trans Australian Child Sex Abuser Had ‘Depraved’ Sex Abuse Content Involving Babies

Trans Australian Child Sex Abuser Had ‘Depraved’ Sex Abuse Content Involving Babies

(Link): Trans Australian child sex abuser had ‘depraved’ sex abuse content involving babies

An Australian trans woman has admitted to an Adelaide court to filming herself masturbating her penis next to a young child, and possessing dozens of child porn content depicting victims as young as toddlers and babies.

October 16, 2022
by Andy Ngo

An Australian trans woman has admitted to an Adelaide court to filming herself masturbating her penis next to a young child, and possessing dozens of child porn content depicting victims as young as toddlers and babies.

Josh Dean French, who uses the name “Jayda Dean,” pleaded guilty in the Adelaide District Court to one count of aggravated producing child exploitation material and two counts of possessing child exploitation material.

Continue reading “Trans Australian Child Sex Abuser Had ‘Depraved’ Sex Abuse Content Involving Babies”

Sex Dolls, Robots, and Woman Hating – a Conversation with Author Caitlin Roper (video and other, related material – similar to what Christian Gender Complementarians Teach About Women and Sex)

Sex Dolls, Robots, and Woman Hating – a Conversation with Author Caitlin Roper (video and other, related material – similar to what Christian Gender Complementarians Teach About Women and Sex)

The interview (in the video below) also discusses “pedophile activists” and pedophiles who want “sex dolls” that look like little girls.

There is something terribly, horribly wrong going on with men … and women and feminism are not to blame. And patriarchy and enforced traditional gender roles is not the solution, either (I say this as a conservative).

A lot of what Roper mentions about sex in some of the pieces below (especially this one on ABC) sounds very much like the usual attitude by many complementarian Christian men, such as Doug Wilson
– a lot of complementarian and pro-patriarchal “Christian” men –
continue to falsely teach in their books, blogs, sermons, videos, and pod casts that all men have a need for sex, men are incapable of sexual self control (in distinct contradiction to Galatians 5:22-23, 2 Timothy 1:7, etc), that women are obligated to have sex with men whenever men want sex (especially married women).

On Barnes and Noble:

(Link):  Sex Dolls, Robots and Woman Hating: The Case for Resistance

(Link): Pleasure machines: What sex robots tell us about men and sex

Excerpts:

by Caitlin Roper
December 2017

… The growing popularity of sex robots raises many ethical issues, but it also forces us to ask questions about the very nature of sex.

What is sex? What is it for? Is it merely the “acquisition of pleasure” as Robert Jensen put it, a mechanism for orgasm, or is it something one experiences with another person?

While it’s true that sex does not necessarily involve intimacy or meaningful connection, and it’s certainly not always mutually beneficial – mutuality is a key factor. Sexual relations without mutuality might be more appropriately described as sexual exploitation.

… Some men express their preferences for sex robots over relationships, which require catering to someone else’s needs and “needless drama.” Others, despite being married or in committed relationships, prefer their dolls to their living female partners, who unlike dolls are complex human beings with their own interests, feelings and lives.

Dolls, on the other hand, have no expectation of an equal or mutually beneficial partnership, have no needs to be met and no free will to be exercised.

It is precisely the dolls’ complete lack of autonomy that is the key attraction for many men. “You ALWAYS have their full attention,” said one. “It’s just nice to know that there is someone home waiting on me without the bitching … She can’t talk [but] at least she looks good sitting there watching TV.”

One owner described the bliss of gaming for hours with his devoted sex doll by his side, something his ex-wife “would only do … for a few mins, then find things to be upset about.”

…But what is it female bodied sex robots are providing? What is the appeal?

Rather than simply “better” sex, sex dolls provide men with the means for more selfish sex – sex that is totally one-sided. It is sex predicated on men’s absolute sexual freedom to dominate and use a woman without limitations.

There is no pressure to perform well, no need to reciprocate, no need to consider the other party’s feelings, enjoyment, discomfort, humiliation or pain.

It is sex with a compliant woman that is all about the user’s sexual fantasies – with a woman who never refuses, who can be used over and over again.

Continue reading “Sex Dolls, Robots, and Woman Hating – a Conversation with Author Caitlin Roper (video and other, related material – similar to what Christian Gender Complementarians Teach About Women and Sex)”

Cop Named Detective of the Year, Who Is a Married Father, Only Gets a Misdemeanor Charge After Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Someone He Thought Was a 14- Year- Old Girl

Cop Named Detective of the Year, Who Is a Married Father, Only Gets a Misdemeanor Charge After Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Someone He Thought Was a 14- Year- Old Girl

This is a news story about a married guy who has a child of his own who was caught trying to engage in sex acts with someone he believed to be a teen girl – marriage does not make a person  more ethical, godly, loving, responsible, or moral.

Married people are destroying marriage all on their own, with no help from progressives.

That deviants like this man get married goes to show that common Christian teachings about marriage – at least in the content I saw when growing up years ago – is false; one does not have to become perfect, or improve themselves in some way, before God will grant the person a spouse or allow them to get married.

If God is permitting perverts like this man to get married, rest assured, he’s more than likely not with-holding a spouse from you over far lesser sins or mistakes.

This also belies the common misperception by Christians that married sex is so great and mind-blowing that married people won’t commit sexual sin. Despite being married, this married guy was trying to find a way to have sex with a 14 year old girl… obviously, being married doesn’t make a person immune from sexual sin.

(Link): California ‘Detective of the Year’ busted for sending sexually explicit messages in child sex sting

A veteran police officer who was named “Detective of the Year” in 2019 was charged with exchanging sexually explicit messages with someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl.

(Link): ‘Detective of the year’ accused of sending graphic messages to girl he believed was 14

(Link): One-Time ‘Detective Of The Year’ Allegedly Sent Sexual Messages To Woman He Thought Was A Child

(Link): California cop named ‘Detective of the Year’ only gets a misdemeanor charge after sending sexually explicit messages to someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl

August 3, 2022
by Melissa Koenig

A California cop who was once heralded as a Detective of the Year is now facing a misdemeanor charge after he allegedly sexted someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl.

Gregory Daniel Beaumarchais, 43, a married father of one, faces a maximum sentence of one year in prison on a misdemeanor charge of annoying or molesting a victim believed to be under the age of 18.

He will also have to register as a sex offender if convicted.

Authorities say the Santa Ana officer exchanged sexually explicit messages with someone posing as a 14-year-old girl on social media from December 2021 through January 2022.

Continue reading “Cop Named Detective of the Year, Who Is a Married Father, Only Gets a Misdemeanor Charge After Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Someone He Thought Was a 14- Year- Old Girl”