‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.

However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).

Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.

And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.

I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.

(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge

January 2019

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life

By Hayley Richardson

HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.

Continue reading “‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’”

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

(Links): Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Dec 2018

A bride on Reddit detailed how she asked a couple at her wedding to leave after they brought their infant and toddler

She had explicitly stated on the wedding invitation that the event was kid-free

Other kids at the ceremony, like the flower girl, were picked up before the reception

Continue reading “Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her”

A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality

A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality

(Link): A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality

Excerpts:

by Michelle Fay Cortez
November 2018

(Bloomberg) — U.S. government scientists will test an experimental birth control method for men, which would be a major advance in contraception and bring more equality to a family planning burden borne largely by women.

The study is being conducted by the National Institutes of Health and will involve 420 couples. The experimental treatment is a gel, applied to the back and shoulders, that combines two types of hormones to halt the production of sperm while maintaining the energy and libido benefits of testosterone.

Continue reading “A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality”

The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

(Link): The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

Excerpts:

By Jenny Anderson & Solana Pyne
June 16, 2016

It’s an almost immutable fact: Regardless of what country you live in, and what stage of life you might be at, having kids makes you significantly less happy compared to people who don’t have kids. It’s called the parenting happiness gap.

Continue reading “The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms”

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

I don’t understand these supposed Christian employers who fire women who get pregnant out of wedlock – I have other examples on this blog of this very thing.

First of all, I’ve never heard of a scenario where they fire the pregnant woman but do nothing to the man she slept with, which makes this a pretty one-sided, sexist action to take.

Secondly, most Christians claim to be pro-life. Would they prefer is women in these situations go to an abortion clinic and abort the baby?

I can a situation where a single woman, who needs her job to pay her bills, gets pregnant, but then panics, knowing her Christian employer may fire her for fornication, so keeping it a secret, she runs out and gets an abortion.

That is a possible scenario some of these Christian groups are putting women in. Is that really what they want?

(Link): Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock

Dec 5, 2018
by Kristine Solomon

A respected English and creative writing teacher in Pennsylvania was fired on Friday from her job at the Catholic high school where she’s been employed for four years. Her transgression? Becoming pregnant while unmarried.

Naiad Reich was ready to start a family, and she planned the pregnancy to coincide with a June birth so she wouldn’t have to take maternity leave from her post at Our Lady of Lourdes Regional School in Coal Township, Pa., (Link): according to the Daily Item.

When she announced her happy news — and the clever timing — to Sister Mary Anne Bednar, though, the principal and administrator was less than impressed.

“Her response, honestly, is one that will sit with me for a very long time, because she was very displeased,” (Link): Reich told PennLive. “She said it would be a problem and she had to contact the diocese.”

By Friday, the Roman Catholic Harrisburg Diocese officials had reached a decision: Reich’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy was a violation of a morality clause in her contract. If Reich and her partner, Matt Graboski, had no plans to get married in the near future, (Link): according to ABC affiliate WNEP, she’d have to be let go.

Continue reading “Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)”

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

The link to the news story is much farther below.

If I am understanding this article correctly, this woman sexually abused her own infant son as she was breastfeeding him, took video of it, and uploaded the video somewhere.

In the article, she says she made these child sex abuse videos because she has low self esteem because the father of the infant son she was abusing dumped her – he left her.

I grew up hearing from Christians – Christians in churches I went to, in Christian literature, and even now, sometimes I see on Christian magazine sites and blogs, that the nuclear family, marriage, and kids are all-important are the only things that can fix American culture.

Further, a lot of conservative Christians will teach that marriage and parenthood are necessary to make a person a true, full adult. They will teach that anyone who remains single and/or childless has stunted development, is immature, ungodly,  and irresponsible.

Continue reading “Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It”

‘Men Are 100% Responsible For Unwanted Pregnancies’ Writes Blogger in Viral Twitter Thread

‘Men Are 100% Responsible For Unwanted Pregnancies’ Writes Blogger in Viral Twitter Thread

(Link): ‘Men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies’ writes blogger in viral Twitter thread

‘Stop trying to control women’s bodies and sexuality’

A blogger from Oakland, California has become a viral sensation after sharing her views on abortion on Twitter, in which she argues that “all unwanted pregnancies are caused by the the irresponsible ejaculations of men”.

Gabrielle Blair, a Mormon and mother-of-six, began her series of tweets by claiming that men have “zero interest in stopping abortion” and are almost entirely responsible for accidental pregnancies.

“Women can only get pregnant about two days each month,” she writes. “And that’s for a limited number of years.

“That makes 24 days a year where a woman might get pregnant. But men can cause pregnancy 365 days a year.

“In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year.”

Continue reading “‘Men Are 100% Responsible For Unwanted Pregnancies’ Writes Blogger in Viral Twitter Thread”

‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’

(Link): ‘We’re in love but never have sex’

By Claire Williams

Some 18% of respondents under the age of 30 have had sex fewer than 10 times in the past year, a survey of 2,000 people on websites Mumsnet and Gransnet has found. Among all ages, the figure was 29%. We meet three couples who, while madly in love, fall into this category.

“Our lack of sex life at the moment is down to me,” Amanda, 35, tells the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme.

“I’m so tired all the time because my job is full on and it’s full on at home. It’s like my libido is tired.”

Continue reading “‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’”

Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson

Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson

(Link): Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson

Excerpts:

….It seems, then, that single people have finally arrived [judged by all the attention adult singleness has received in the media in the last few years], poised to take their rightful place alongside married couples when it comes to status, power, and respect.

Except for one thing: single people still don’t have access to the legal benefits and protections the government grants to those who get married. In the US, there are more than (Link): 1,100 laws benefiting married couples, and that’s just at the federal level; many states offer perks and protections as well.

Continue reading “Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson”

If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet

If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet

(Link): If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet

Excerpts:

I don’t know what it is about my decision to not have kids that absolutely infuriates so many people who have nothing to do with my womb or life choices, but the topic seems to come up on a weekly basis—sometimes even two or three times a week.

The thing is, I love children, and I totally respect the decision of my friends and family members who have had or plan on having kids. I just don’t want any of my own.

Continue reading “If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet”

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – On Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

This following letter to an advice columnist (which is linked to and excerpted much farther down this blog post) is interesting, because I guarantee you had the guy written to “Ask Amy” of the “Ask Amy” column with the same concern, Amy would  not have been sympathetic to the guy.

Amy would’ve raked him over the coals for not oozing with love and compassion for the misbehaving stepchild.

Amy, as I’ve seen, always sides with the kids or the biological parent.

If you are a person married to someone who has a bratty kid who is driving you crazy (and even to the point of wanting to divorce!), Amy will shame you terribly over it.

Amy will scream and yell about you being selfish, and she will ask you to empathize with the misbehaving, rotten kid.

(That I can recall in all my years of reading her advice column, Amy has never shown empathy to the adult who is stressed and whose marriage is strained over a hard- to- handle step-child.)

This advice columnist,  though, takes the opposite approach and blames the biological mother; he holds her accountable for the poor marital dynamics.

Continue reading “Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents”

‘Jennifer Aniston is right that being childless does not define you’

‘Jennifer Aniston is right that being childless does not define you’

(Link): ‘Jennifer Aniston is right that being childless does not define you

Excerpts:

August 2018

Jennifer Aniston is right that being childless does not define you — the Friends star and Kylie Minogue shouldn’t have to justify themselves
Friends legend Jennifer Aniston has been met with quizzical responses to her personal decision not to procreate

FOR two decades, Jennifer Aniston has been the subject of frenzied and almost constant speculation about when she would become a mum. Most frustratingly for her, it was always a question of when and not if.

After all, how could a beautiful rich woman with an equally beautiful and rich man(whether it be Brad Pitt, John Mayer or Justin Theroux) possibly not want to have beautiful babies together?

…This week, Jen had enough, letting rip in her most forthright interview ever to InStyle magazine.

Continue reading “‘Jennifer Aniston is right that being childless does not define you’”

Singles Discrimination, Complementarianism, Equally Yoked Teaching, and Spotting Predators in Church Video

Singles Discrimination, Complementarianism, Equally Yoked Teaching, and Spotting Predators in Church Video

Someone in a Christian discussion group posted this video (and I don’t want to link to the group or mention it by name, though you may be able to figure out which one it is, especially if you are already familiar with it), and the Christians on the discussion board talked about it:

(Link): When A Predator Shows Up At Your Church — Here’s What You Do!

That same video has also been making the rounds on other Christian blogs, sites, forums, and on Twitter.

The video is around 18 minutes long. I watched it a few days ago.

The video features a Christian woman who says a 50-something guy showed up at her church, a man who set off red flags for her, due to his weird behavior around the kids who were there at the church, including her own.

The man behaved overly-familiar with her kid, other people’s kids who were there, and he ignored the parents of the kids.

(1) First, I’m going to discuss what I believe this video has to do with complementarianism.

(2) Then I am going to discuss some of the disturbing comments about adult singles that were made in the Christian discussion group where I saw this video posted to, and next,

(3) I’ll move on to discussing, as mentioned by a woman or two in the group, about the creepy behavior single adult women have to put up with, even at church, and what this has to do with the Christian “Equally Yoked” teaching.

Continue reading “Singles Discrimination, Complementarianism, Equally Yoked Teaching, and Spotting Predators in Church Video”

Why Aren’t People of Childbearing Age Having As Many Children As They Used To? We Asked Them – by C C Miller

Why Aren’t People of Childbearing Age Having As Many Children As They Used To? We Asked Them – by C C Miller

(Link): Why Aren’t People of Childbearing Age Having As Many Children As They Used To? We Asked Them – by C C Miller

Women have more options, for one. But a new poll also shows that financial insecurity is altering a generation’s choices.

Americans are having fewer babies. At first, researchers thought the declining fertility rate was because of the recession, but it kept falling even as the economy recovered. Now it has reached a record low for the second consecutive year.

Because the fertility rate subtly shapes many major issues of the day — including immigration, education, housing, the labor supply, the social safety net and support for working families — there’s a lot of concern about why today’s young adults aren’t having as many children. So we asked them.

Continue reading “Why Aren’t People of Childbearing Age Having As Many Children As They Used To? We Asked Them – by C C Miller”

The Overlooked Emotions of Sperm Donation

(Link): The Overlooked Emotions of Sperm Donation

by Ashley Fetters

July 9, 2018

“My hope is that people think about how this is more than a transaction,” says one family therapist.

Sperm donation offers a tidy solution to an aggravating problem: When a person or a couple wants a baby and needs a different ingredient than what they’ve currently got to make one, a man with viable sperm swoops in to help.

…As simple a transaction as sperm donation can seem to be, though, some find it to be stressful or isolating—and because assisted reproductive technology is a relatively new, rapidly developing field, the social and emotional challenges that can arise between the participants in a sperm donation are, for many, uncharted.

Continue reading “The Overlooked Emotions of Sperm Donation”

I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me? By Glynnis MacNicol

I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me? By Glynnis MacNicol

As to this editorial below – I for one never cared much if I had children or not. I just wanted to be married.

So I am more than a little puzzled or annoyed by societal attitudes that assume I am pitiable because I don’t have children, or that I must not know my own preferences or my own mind.

(Link): I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me?

Excerpts:

Since I turned 40 I’ve encountered disbelief that I could possibly be enjoying my own life. But then there’s the other unexpected gift of this age: just how little concern I have for others’ opinions.

By Glynnis MacNicol
July 5, 2018

A few months before my 42nd birthday, I was out to dinner with friends and found myself seated next to a well-known older male writer.

I happened to be in the final stages of finishing a proposal for a memoir about being a single woman over 40 without children, and was inwardly marveling at the timing of our encounter. I was a fan of his. Perhaps he might offer some wisdom? Words of encouragement?

As drinks were delivered I sketched the outline of the story: No one had prepared me for how exhilarating life could be on my own. I was traveling all the time, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, released from the fear of the clock that had dogged me through my 30s.

Conversely, no one had warned me of the ways in which it would actually be difficult; my mother had been very ill, for instance, and part of the book was about caring for her.

No sooner had I finished than the famous writer placed his glass firmly on the white tablecloth, leaned back and declared: “Glynnis MacNicol, you have a terrible life!”

….I again faced a dilemma I’d been struggling with since turning 40: how to counter other people’s disbelief that I, single and child-free, could possibly be enjoying my own life.

Continue reading “I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me? By Glynnis MacNicol”

Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)

Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)

In an older post, I mentioned how it is that some older adults do not recognize just how poorly churches and Christian culture treats single adults until those older adults become single again via divorce or widowhood:
Then they notice how absolutely marriage-centric churches are, and how utterly horrid Christians are about meeting the needs of single adults.

Then you have your married parents who don’t realize how Obsessed With the Nuclear Family most churches are until their (Link): own kids grow up and move out and stop attending church with them.

Then and only then do some Christian married couples wake up to see how absolutely terrible churches are about neglecting single adults or the childless.

The woman who wrote this letter to “Ask Amy” had to go through a divorce before she noticed how anti-singles friendly her church was. Amazing.

Also, I could’ve told this woman that Christians in general are awful at showing concern, care, and empathy for people who are in pain or under-going some stress in life.

Continue reading “Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)”

Want More Babies? You Need Less Patriarchy by M. Goldberg

Want More Babies? You Need Less Patriarchy by M. Goldberg

(Link): Want More Babies? You Need Less Patriarchy – on New York Times

Same editorial here:

(Link): Want More Babies? You Need Less Patriarchy – Oregonian

Excerpts:

Last week, the National Center for Health Statistics reported that America’s birthrate reached a historic low in 2017, falling to 60.2 births per 1,000 women of childbearing age.

For a population in the developed world to replace itself, the average woman needs to have around 2.1 children. In the United States, where fertility has been below replacement for about a decade, the average woman now has 1.77.

Several commentators have described the plunge as a mystery, particularly since we’re in a period of economic growth. Some on the right have, absurdly, blamed the shrinking birthrate on abortion, even though abortion rates are also as low as they’ve been since Roe v. Wade was decided.

More thoughtful conservatives, like National Review’s David French, speculated that the baby bust could be a sign of the same sort of sweeping despair that has been linked to America’s decreasing life expectancy.

I have another theory. Perhaps the United States is becoming more like the rest of the industrialized world, where declining birthrates are correlated with a lack of support for working mothers.

Continue reading “Want More Babies? You Need Less Patriarchy by M. Goldberg”

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids?

I am marginally still a social conservative, but as the months go by, I find myself drifting further and further away from it (though I’ll never be a liberal).

I was a stalwart social conservative for many years, but I’ve become more attuned to some of the hypocrisy or double standards contained within some socially conservative points or views.

One of the things I’ve struggled with the last couple of years is that Republicans (I’m an ex Republican) and social conservatives claim to be “pro-family,” yet, they often want to push through policies that cut off or limit families or kids or single mothers in some way.

Yes, I grasp that Republicans are for smaller government and want to cut expenses, but I don’t see how they can do that in the area of family benefits.

How can you claim to be “pro family” and to support children, and say that liberals are the evil anti-family types, when you keep promoting legislative material that wants to cut funding for families or kids? (Please see the “Related Posts” section at the bottom of this post for more.)

By the way. Many social conservatives and Christian conservatives fret, fret, fret that marriage and baby-making are on the decline in the United States – see for example links on my blog such as this one –

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

And yet, they penalize women who do become pregnant and give birth. If you are a Republican, Christian, or social conservative who thinks family is great, motherhood is great, and that women should have more children, then why on earth would you penalize women who do in fact give birth?

Shouldn’t you be willing to help all mothers – whether single or not – more? I don’t understand the hatred for mothers who need a helping hand from the very people who bray on and on about how horrible it is today’s culture supposedly disregards motherhood and the nuclear family.

Many Republicans, social conservatives, and Christians I’ve seen since I’ve been a teenager reading political columns, have regularly argued that children are better off if their mothers stay at home, rather than dropping them off at a daycare to hold down an outside-the-home career.

But as this editorial by Walthers explains, some of the Republican reforms of welfare has forced women into working outside the home, thus leaving their children motherless during the day.

How is it out of one side of their mouths that conservatives are saying it’s bad for women who are mothers to work outside the home, but then forcing them into the position to do that very thing?

(Link): Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by Matthew Walther

What would happen, I wonder, if all the Republican state senators in the country woke up to find that all their wildest dreams had come true?

Continue reading “Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther”

US Birth Rate Hits All-Time Low: What’s Behind the Decline?

I thought I just posted an article to the blog a few months ago saying that number of babies being born in the USA is on the increase?

Anyway, cue the conservative and Christian whining about how culture is not worshipping babies and marriage enough.

Christian TV host Pat Robertson will exploit this news story to shame singles into marrying and have ten children.

(Link): US Birth Rate Hits All-Time Low: What’s Behind the Decline?

The number of babies being born in the United States continues to fall, with the birth rate reaching a new record low in 2017, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Last year, about 3.8 million babies were born in the U.S., which is 2 percent lower than the number born in 2016, and the lowest recorded number of births in 30 years, according to the report.

Continue reading “US Birth Rate Hits All-Time Low: What’s Behind the Decline?”