Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner By B. Luscombe

Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner By B. Luscombe

(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner

…Before you call child services, let me be clear: Of course you have to love your kids. Of course you have to put their needs first. But doing so is also a no-brainer. Children, with their urgent and often tricky-to-ascertain needs, easily attract devotion.

Spouses don’t need to be fed and dressed or have their tears dried and are nowhere near as cute. Loving your kids is like going to school–you don’t really have a choice. Loving your spouse is like going to college–it’s up to you to show up and participate.

[So why invest more time and energy into the adult?]

…One reason, actually, is for the kids.

Research strongly suggests that children whose parents love each other are much happier and more secure than those raised in a loveless environment.

Continue reading “Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner By B. Luscombe”

New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13 by S. Gordon

(Link): New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13

Excerpts:

April 2019
by S. Gordon

….In two national surveys, investigators found that between 4% and 8% of boys reported having sex before they were 13. That number varied greatly depending on where the boys lived. In San Francisco, just 5% of boys said they had sex before 13, but in Memphis that number jumped to 25%.

Race and ethnicity also made a difference in whether or not a young person had an early sexual experience. Black males were most likely to have sex before 13, followed by Hispanic males.

Continue reading “New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13 by S. Gordon”

Not All Women Want To Be Mothers: The Stigma That Surrounds Choosing Not To Have Children by Dr. Peggy Drexler

(Link): Not All Women Want To Be Mothers: The Stigma That Surrounds Choosing Not To Have Children

Excerpts:

by Dr. Peggy Drexler

Birth rates around the world are going down as maternal ambivalence climbs. So why do women who have happily chosen childlessness still feel judged? Dr Peggy Drexler, a New York-based research psychologist who has written books on gender and family, explores the ongoing stigma.


….The reasons women are giving are varied. Having babies is expensive for one thing: a (Link): 2017 USDA report found that American parents spend, on average, more than $230,000 on child costs from birth to age 17, not including college.

…The increase in working women — and female breadwinners — around the world has also left many reluctant to leave jobs that aren’t always guaranteed to be there when they return.

Continue reading “Not All Women Want To Be Mothers: The Stigma That Surrounds Choosing Not To Have Children by Dr. Peggy Drexler”

Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse

Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial (2019) Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse

I am a never-married woman who is over the age of 45, and I am childless. I had wanted to be married but never found the right guy, so I remain single.

I was a very devout Christian for many years, until a few years ago.

I did a blog post about (Link): another editorial on Christianity Today’s site, where a married woman with small children wrote a long piece extolling the virtues of single, childless women:
but only in the context of how she found single, childless women useful to her because they could provide her with free babysitting services that she could not obtain from her biological family, who lived 1,000 miles away.

Here again, in April 2019, is another editorial in the same vein: a piece that extols the wonders and virtues of how single, childless women can or should meet the needs of married women, especially married ones who have children and need free babysitting services and emotional support.

Now, if you’re the sort of single, childless woman who sincerely enjoys babysitting married women’s children, that is fine by me. But I am not one of them.

I’m not opposed to single, childless women caring for, or taking an interest in, other people’s children, if they so desire.

I am opposed to this when this is one of the only options presented to Christian women, however.

Continue reading “Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse”

Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim

Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim

As you can see, there is nothing about Parenthood that makes a person more godly, loving or ethical, as so many conservative Christians I’ve seen have claimed in their blog posts, sermons, books and so on:

(Link): Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim

March 2019

A couple in Germany have been charged with child sex abuse after their baby son suffered injuries so severe surgeons had to fit him with an artificial anus.

The parents, named as Ismail S., 23, and Nina R., 26, allegedly abused the tot at their home in the city of Ludwigshafen in the western German state of Rhineland-Palatinate.

Nina R., a saleswoman, is accused of causing the severe injuries to the child when he was just six weeks old.

Chief prosecutor Hubert Stroeber said: ‘She wanted to get sexual satisfaction.’

Continue reading “Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim”

Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession by J. Kotkin

Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession by J. Kotkin

The author’s attitude towards celibacy is a bit negative, which I do not like. This guy seems to worship the Nuclear Family, something a lot of secular and Christian conservatives are guilty of.

It’s not just technology that possibly leads to celibacy – Christian teachings in the United States is also, or can be, a celibacy factory., and that was true long before the rise of social media.

He thinks less sex is “grim.” Oh please.

Marriage isn’t a guarantee of sex, either. I have many examples on my blog of (Link): sexless marriages.

(Link): Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession

We may live amidst what seems a libidinous culture, but oddly also an increasingly sexless time.

Of course, the drop in early teen sex – and even more so, teen pregnancies – represents positive developments, but when lack of social interaction leads to celibacy in the twenties, thirties and beyond, the implications are less than wholesome.

The Atlantic recently described a “sex recession” in the United States and most western countries, with fewer people dating and even those in relationships getting intimate less often than in the past, while fewer enjoy regular bonds of any kind.

Continue reading “Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession by J. Kotkin”

Man Wants to Sue His Parents For Giving Birth To Him ‘Without His Consent’ As Part of “Anti-Natalist” Movement That Says Having Children is Morally Wrong

Man Wants to Sue His Parents For Giving Birth To Him ‘Without His Consent’ As Part of “Anti-Natalist” Movement That Says Having Children is Morally Wrong

I’m all for people respecting people’s choice to not have children, but this seems really far out there and crazy.

(Link): Man Wants to Sue His Parents For Giving Birth To Him ‘Without His Consent’ As Part of “Anti-Natalist” Movement That Says Having Children is Morally Wrong

by Tim Stickings

A man is planning to sue his parents in India for giving birth to him ‘without his consent’.

Raphael Samuel said he had a ‘great relationship’ with his parents but has compared having children to ‘kidnapping and slavery’.

The 27-year-old from Mumbai is an ‘anti-natalist’ who believes it is wrong to put an unwilling child through the ‘rigmarole’ of life for the pleasure of its parents.

The anti-natalist movement is gaining traction in India as younger people resist social pressure to have children.

Continue reading “Man Wants to Sue His Parents For Giving Birth To Him ‘Without His Consent’ As Part of “Anti-Natalist” Movement That Says Having Children is Morally Wrong”

Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks

Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks

(Link): Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks

Cheyanne Harris, 21, left the courthouse in Iowa, US, crying after harrowing pictures of four-month-old Sterling Koehn were shown to a jury

A young [mom] accused of leaving her baby son to die in a maggot-infested nappy [diaper] sobbed in court yesterday.

Jurors were shown photos of tragic four-month-old Sterling Koehn at his [mom] Cheyanne Harris’ trial.

Continue reading “Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks”

‘Leftover’ Is A Term Used In Many Parts of Asia For Women Who Haven’t Married By Their Mid-20s

‘Leftover’ Is A Term Used In Many Parts of Asia For Women Who Haven’t Married By Their Mid-20s

Good gravy, Chinese culture sounds just as bad as American evangelical and American conservative Christian culture: shaming and pressuring single women into getting married, then blaming them if they’re still single by age 30, 35, or older.

People should not put so much pressure on singles to marry, and shame them for being single, that it creates anxiety in them (see below) or (Link): causes some of them to commit suicide or to (Link): mutilate their bodies or to (Link): kill other people because they are single and a virgin (see also, see also)

Here’s the article about Chinese people shaming singles for being single:

(Link): For single Chinese women, the Lunar New Year can heighten anxiety and the fear of facing their families

Excerpts:

‘Leftover’ Is A Term Used In Many Parts of Asia For Women Who Haven’t Married By Their Mid-20s

(from) The Lily News
February 3, 2019

Adapted from a story by Liu Yang, Wang Yuan and The Washington Post’s Anna Fifield.

BEIJING — For many single Chinese women, questions regarding their unwed status and the pressures they face to get married are so intense that they are searching for ways to avoid their family’s badgering.

Some are asking their bosses for extra work on the Lunar New Year — China’s biggest holiday — which falls on Feb. 5 this year. Others are inventing boyfriends. Still, the pressure mounts. Hospitals are reporting a spike in young people seeking treatment for anxiety.

Continue reading “‘Leftover’ Is A Term Used In Many Parts of Asia For Women Who Haven’t Married By Their Mid-20s”

Babies? Margot Robbie Is Fed Up With Getting Sexist Questions About Them

Babies? Margot Robbie Is Fed Up With Getting Sexist Questions About Them by S. Hass

(Link): Babies? Margot Robbie Is Fed Up With Getting Sexist Questions About Them

“When are you going to have a baby?”

It’s a question that makes most women cringe. Count Margot Robbie among them.

The actress, who stars as Queen Elizabeth I in the film “Mary Queen of Scots,” says she’s fed up with the sexist inquiry.

Continue reading “Babies? Margot Robbie Is Fed Up With Getting Sexist Questions About Them”

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.

However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).

Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.

And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.

I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.

(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge

January 2019

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life

By Hayley Richardson

HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.

Continue reading “‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’”

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

(Links): Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Dec 2018

A bride on Reddit detailed how she asked a couple at her wedding to leave after they brought their infant and toddler

She had explicitly stated on the wedding invitation that the event was kid-free

Other kids at the ceremony, like the flower girl, were picked up before the reception

Continue reading “Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her”

A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality

A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality

(Link): A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality

Excerpts:

by Michelle Fay Cortez
November 2018

(Bloomberg) — U.S. government scientists will test an experimental birth control method for men, which would be a major advance in contraception and bring more equality to a family planning burden borne largely by women.

The study is being conducted by the National Institutes of Health and will involve 420 couples. The experimental treatment is a gel, applied to the back and shoulders, that combines two types of hormones to halt the production of sperm while maintaining the energy and libido benefits of testosterone.

Continue reading “A Male Birth Control Gel Is Getting Closer to Reality”

The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

(Link): The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

Excerpts:

By Jenny Anderson & Solana Pyne
June 16, 2016

It’s an almost immutable fact: Regardless of what country you live in, and what stage of life you might be at, having kids makes you significantly less happy compared to people who don’t have kids. It’s called the parenting happiness gap.

Continue reading “The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms”

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

I don’t understand these supposed Christian employers who fire women who get pregnant out of wedlock – I have other examples on this blog of this very thing.

First of all, I’ve never heard of a scenario where they fire the pregnant woman but do nothing to the man she slept with, which makes this a pretty one-sided, sexist action to take.

Secondly, most Christians claim to be pro-life. Would they prefer is women in these situations go to an abortion clinic and abort the baby?

I can a situation where a single woman, who needs her job to pay her bills, gets pregnant, but then panics, knowing her Christian employer may fire her for fornication, so keeping it a secret, she runs out and gets an abortion.

That is a possible scenario some of these Christian groups are putting women in. Is that really what they want?

(Link): Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock

Dec 5, 2018
by Kristine Solomon

A respected English and creative writing teacher in Pennsylvania was fired on Friday from her job at the Catholic high school where she’s been employed for four years. Her transgression? Becoming pregnant while unmarried.

Naiad Reich was ready to start a family, and she planned the pregnancy to coincide with a June birth so she wouldn’t have to take maternity leave from her post at Our Lady of Lourdes Regional School in Coal Township, Pa., (Link): according to the Daily Item.

When she announced her happy news — and the clever timing — to Sister Mary Anne Bednar, though, the principal and administrator was less than impressed.

“Her response, honestly, is one that will sit with me for a very long time, because she was very displeased,” (Link): Reich told PennLive. “She said it would be a problem and she had to contact the diocese.”

By Friday, the Roman Catholic Harrisburg Diocese officials had reached a decision: Reich’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy was a violation of a morality clause in her contract. If Reich and her partner, Matt Graboski, had no plans to get married in the near future, (Link): according to ABC affiliate WNEP, she’d have to be let go.

Continue reading “Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)”

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

The link to the news story is much farther below.

If I am understanding this article correctly, this woman sexually abused her own infant son as she was breastfeeding him, took video of it, and uploaded the video somewhere.

In the article, she says she made these child sex abuse videos because she has low self esteem because the father of the infant son she was abusing dumped her – he left her.

I grew up hearing from Christians – Christians in churches I went to, in Christian literature, and even now, sometimes I see on Christian magazine sites and blogs, that the nuclear family, marriage, and kids are all-important are the only things that can fix American culture.

Further, a lot of conservative Christians will teach that marriage and parenthood are necessary to make a person a true, full adult. They will teach that anyone who remains single and/or childless has stunted development, is immature, ungodly,  and irresponsible.

Continue reading “Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It”

‘Men Are 100% Responsible For Unwanted Pregnancies’ Writes Blogger in Viral Twitter Thread

‘Men Are 100% Responsible For Unwanted Pregnancies’ Writes Blogger in Viral Twitter Thread

(Link): ‘Men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies’ writes blogger in viral Twitter thread

‘Stop trying to control women’s bodies and sexuality’

A blogger from Oakland, California has become a viral sensation after sharing her views on abortion on Twitter, in which she argues that “all unwanted pregnancies are caused by the the irresponsible ejaculations of men”.

Gabrielle Blair, a Mormon and mother-of-six, began her series of tweets by claiming that men have “zero interest in stopping abortion” and are almost entirely responsible for accidental pregnancies.

“Women can only get pregnant about two days each month,” she writes. “And that’s for a limited number of years.

“That makes 24 days a year where a woman might get pregnant. But men can cause pregnancy 365 days a year.

“In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year.”

Continue reading “‘Men Are 100% Responsible For Unwanted Pregnancies’ Writes Blogger in Viral Twitter Thread”

‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’

(Link): ‘We’re in love but never have sex’

By Claire Williams

Some 18% of respondents under the age of 30 have had sex fewer than 10 times in the past year, a survey of 2,000 people on websites Mumsnet and Gransnet has found. Among all ages, the figure was 29%. We meet three couples who, while madly in love, fall into this category.

“Our lack of sex life at the moment is down to me,” Amanda, 35, tells the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme.

“I’m so tired all the time because my job is full on and it’s full on at home. It’s like my libido is tired.”

Continue reading “‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’”

Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson

Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson

(Link): Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson

Excerpts:

….It seems, then, that single people have finally arrived [judged by all the attention adult singleness has received in the media in the last few years], poised to take their rightful place alongside married couples when it comes to status, power, and respect.

Except for one thing: single people still don’t have access to the legal benefits and protections the government grants to those who get married. In the US, there are more than (Link): 1,100 laws benefiting married couples, and that’s just at the federal level; many states offer perks and protections as well.

Continue reading “Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson”

If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet

If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet

(Link): If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet

Excerpts:

I don’t know what it is about my decision to not have kids that absolutely infuriates so many people who have nothing to do with my womb or life choices, but the topic seems to come up on a weekly basis—sometimes even two or three times a week.

The thing is, I love children, and I totally respect the decision of my friends and family members who have had or plan on having kids. I just don’t want any of my own.

Continue reading “If You’re Choosing Not to Have Kids, You’ll Want to Read This by K. Langslet”