Meet the People Who Won’t Have Sex Until They’re Sterilized

Meet the People Who Won’t Have Sex Until They’re Sterilized

(Link): Meet the People Who Won’t Have Sex Until They’re Sterilized

Excerpts:

by Alaina Demopoulos

…But when it came to her own feelings, Sasha “dreaded almost every other aspect of being a parent.” She didn’t want to experience pregnancy, the trauma of childbirth, the financial burden of raising a little one. And she worried how being a parent would “directly inhibit [her] ability to achieve other goals in life.”

 Sasha spent time volunteering with children to see if she’d change her mind. It only solidified her feelings. “I didn’t dislike the kids, [but] I just wasn’t comfortable there,” she said. “I realized that parenting a young kid would just not be for me.”

…She began researching permanent contraception in the form of a sterilization procedure. Sasha made the decision to not have sex until she could afford the surgery.

To this day, she hasn’t been able to get one. So Sasha, who is now 25 and lives in Minneapolis, hasn’t had sex since her sophomore year of college.

Part of the problem, Sasha and others say, is how difficult it can be for young women and non-binary people to convince doctors they will not “regret” opting into a procedure that leaves them unable to have children for the rest of their lives.

Women in the United States must be 21 to have their sterilizations covered by Medicaid or the Indian Health Service. Those with private insurance do not have that age restriction.

Continue reading “Meet the People Who Won’t Have Sex Until They’re Sterilized”

Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail

Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail

I placed parts of the following article in bold-faced type.

Too often, a lot of people, religious conservatives in particular, shame people who cannot or do not marry and have children, whether it’s by circumstance or choice.

Too many religious conservatives, and a lot of progressive secular culture for many years, implied or outright stated if an adult didn’t marry (or have children) that there was something “wrong” with them, they were a loser, not a “true” adult, or were being selfish.

It is just quite irritating and insulting how so many people in many cultures the world over don’t treat adult singleness (or being childless or childfree) with respect.

Complementarian Christians in the United States have often tried to sell a “fairy tale” view off marriage, that if you just trust God, God will send you a great soul mate, and you will find nothing but happiness as a result.

(Those same Christians, though, will tell Christian women married to abusive Christian husbands that they cannot divorce their abuser!)

Christians also set up unrealistic expectations for sex in marriage. At least while I was growing up, and into the 1990s, a lot of Christians sold this bogus view that if you just hung on to your virginity that God would not only send you a great spouse, but you’d have regular and fantastic sex.

But witness those of us who remained sexually abstinent and yet still remain single, or those who married but ended up in sexually unsatisfying marriages.

I’m not opposed to Christians advocating for a traditional, Christian sexual ethos, but they need to stop making grand, sweeping claims and promises claiming that you will have a rosy (marital) future if you just remain chaste – because often, those promises do not come to pass.

I am not Russian, but if gender roles and gender expectations in Russia are anything like I’ve grown up with in the United States, it sounds like (based on a quote by a Russian woman I’ve included below) as though Russian culture – like American culture, especially Christian complementarians – expect women to place every one and every thing as a priority over what they, the women, want.

I am so tired of cultures the world over expecting that women defer to men generally, to what governments want, etc.

(Link): Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail

Anna Nemtsova
Mon, September 6, 2021

Russia is facing a dire demographic crisis, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

The country’s dramatic natural population decline in the past six months—more than double the rate from the same time period last year—is so severe that it prompted President Vladimir Putin to come out with a rallying cry in support of larger families last week. “A strong family bringing up two, three, or four children,” he said, “should be the image of a future Russia.”

Realizing this goal will be a Herculean task, for many reasons. No matter how conservative the country is made out to be on state television, the States Statistic Service reports that as of 2020 73 percent of Russian marriages ended in divorce, with 48 percent divorcing before having children.

Continue reading “Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail”

The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids by G. Cornwall

The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids

(Link): The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids

Excerpts:

Aug 31, 2021
by Gail Cornwall

A small but significant proportion of mothers and fathers wish they’d never had children. The whole family can suffer as a result.

Carrie wishes that she’d never had children. She spent a few years feeling satisfied as a mother, but now locks herself in the kitchen and wonders, Who am I? What am I doing here? 

She can’t pursue paid work, because she has to shepherd her 12-year-old and 10-year-old to school as well as to therapy appointments for their disabilities.

Carrie, who lives in the U.K., told me that she often fantasizes about visiting her friend in Hawaii and never coming back. Her words felt so taboo that she asked to be referred to by only her first name. But sentiments of parental regret are less rare than one might imagine.

When American parents older than 45 were asked in a 2013 Gallup poll how many kids they would have if they could “do it over,” approximately 7 percent said zero.

Continue reading “The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids by G. Cornwall”

Amid Population Crisis, China Will Now Allow Three Children Per Family

Amid Population Crisis, China Will Now Allow Three Children Per Family

(Link): Amid Population Crisis, China Will Now Allow Three Children Per Family

by Jazz Shaw
August 23, 2021

Beginning back in 1980, China imposed a “one-child policy” on families in an effort to control population growth and supposedly make more resources available for every citizen.

The results of that type of state control over human biology were catastrophic on a number of levels, not least of which was the millions of forced abortions that ensued.

But there were other issues as well.

The country has been facing what the government admits is a “demographic crisis” that threatens to undermine the economy and the nation’s stability.

Continue reading “Amid Population Crisis, China Will Now Allow Three Children Per Family”

Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left”

Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left”

The answer to the question put forth by J. D. Vance, “should parents’ votes count more than those of the childless” is a resounding NO.

I’m not exactly sure if Vance defines himself as a conservative, a populist, or what.

But I find that people who are non-liberal, non-left tend to assume anyone who is single or childless is an anti-American, Democrat-voting, nuclear family hating heretic.

I’m a conservative woman who arrived into middle age with never having married or having had children – not by choice, but by circumstance.

I deeply resent how so many conservatives or other types of non-liberals frequently equate womanhood, or maturity, with marriage and parenting (having children). It’s revolting and sexist.

Other conservatives (or non-liberals and non-leftists) who despise the left, who want to “own” the left, frequently come up with moves like this, which inevitably end up causing collateral damage.

Not all women (and men) who remain single and childless are there by choice or because they hate marriage and the nuclear family.

I will say that it’s rather disingenuous for the author of the following to frame the situation as Vance starting the “cultural war” when as of the last several years, non-liberals have been responding to cultural wars begun by liberals!

Contrary to leftist and liberal propaganda (as what appears in this piece at The Week by Mathis), conservatives and Republicans do not want to suppress votes, or stop anyone (i.e., American citizen) from voting.

(Link): Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left”

by Joel Mathis
July 26, 2021

J.D. Vance has endured a tough start to his campaign for the open U.S. Senate seat in Ohio, so maybe it’s no surprise that he’s borrowing a time-tested Republican tactic and doubling down on cultural warfare.

During a gathering of conservatives on Friday, the onetime Hillbilly Elegy author blasted the “childless left” — citing by name Democratic politicians including Vice President Kamala Harris, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.), and Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.).

“Why is this just a normal fact of American life, that the leaders of our country should be people who don’t have a personal indirect stake in it via their own offspring, via their own children and grandchildren?” Vance asked, rhetorically. (Harris, for what it’s worth, has two stepchildren with her husband, Doug Emhoff.)

 Better, he suggested, to give extra voting power to America’s parents.

Continue reading “Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left””

Women Are Having Fewer Babies Because They Have More Choices by Jill Filipovic

Women Are Having Fewer Babies Because They Have More Choices by Jill Filipovic

I bet my fellow conservatives are gnashing their teeth over this one, though I didn’t see anything wrong or bad about it.
Conservatives really need to resist the urge to take knee-jerk positions against anything and everything feminists say, and they need to stop deifying motherhood.

(Link): Women Are Having Fewer Babies Because They Have More Choices

Excerpt:

Further, while birthrates are dropping, the total percentage of women who are mothers has risen, in part thanks to older women, college-educated women and unmarried women being more likely to have a baby than they had been.

Childbearing remains overwhelmingly the norm: 86 percent of American women ages 40 to 44 are mothers. Motherhood isn’t on the decline so much as motherhood is delayed, and families with one or two children are ascendant.

Continue reading “Women Are Having Fewer Babies Because They Have More Choices by Jill Filipovic”

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

As a moderately conservative individual, I agree with much of the content published at The Federalist, but certainly not all. This is one of those times when no, I don’t agree.

The name Joy Pullman looked familiar to me, and sure enough, a few years ago, I did a post or two criticizing (Link): one of her other articles.

This time, I am disagreeing with this following piece at The Federalist by Joy Pullman;
I will put some excerpts in, and below that, discuss where my areas of disagreement are
(and it’s a super long excerpt – my comments will be way, way below):

(Link): Christianity’s Growth Problem Isn’t Politics, It’s Our Failure To Have And Evangelize Children

Like just about every other Western Christian body, as well as the United States, the SBC is left to squabble over shrinking slices of a dwindling pie.

by Joy Pullman

The New York Times put out a lengthy preview of the Southern Baptist Convention’s top controversies heading into their annual meeting this week in Nashville, Tenn. Members of the nation’s largest evangelical denomination are weighing the future of their religious body amid numerous theological controversies.

Decline Stems From No Babies, Not Being Too Trumpy
The Times reports that one of the SBC’s concerns is “15-year decline” in members, both through potential theological schisms intertwined with politics, such as critical race theory, and through an aging and thus declining membership.

….While the Times makes much of contrasting the SBC’s political conservatism with its forecast of demographically decisive American leftism, it doesn’t note that the SBC’s decline is directly related to following broader American culture, instead of Christian beliefs, on a keystone of institutional vibrancy: fertility.

Continue reading “Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical”

These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

(Link): These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

Excerpts:

June 14, 2021
by Michael Blackmon

…In choosing to be single and child-free, [49-year-old author and educator]  Turner’s relationship with herself has blossomed. “All my time is for me. I don’t have to dress up for anyone but me. I don’t have to shave. It’s so freeing to go out and not worry about how I look, will someone find me attractive or not,” she said. “I find that I have more confidence and security within myself. I am not looking to [a partner] for validation.”

Turner is just one of hundreds of singles who responded to a BuzzFeed News callout asking the unattached if they were happy.

The submissions were varied, from people who had been single for just a few months to those who had been going solo for much of their lives.

Continue reading “These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon”

China’s New Three Child Policy (May 2021)

China’s New Three Child Policy (May 2021)

I did a similar post to this one a few days ago – it turns out, it doesn’t matter if China relaxes its limits on number of children per family, because this article I read said many Chinese women are not interested in having children, and the ones who do feel they cannot, because it would jeporadize their careers, etc

(Link): ‘Too much of a burden’: Chinese couples react to three-child policy

China has announced that couples will be permitted to have up to three children. What do couples think of the policy change?

‘Our parents lived for their children, we live for ourselves’
Jia Shicong is a 31-year-old education project manager. She is married to Hu Xuancheng, also 31, an engineer. They have a baby girl who is one year and seven months old. They live in Xi’an, in central China

Continue reading “China’s New Three Child Policy (May 2021)”

Men Who Are Worried About a ‘Baby Bust’ Should Try Talking to Women by Erin Ryan

Men Who Are Worried About a ‘Baby Bust’ Should Try Talking to Women by Erin Ryan

(Link): Men Who Are Worried About a ‘Baby Bust’ Should Try Talking to Women

Excerpts:

The notion that forced confinement leads to a spike in fertility rates has been debunked several times over.

There was no “blackout baby” surge nine months after New York City lost power for 10 hours in 1965. Evidence of “Hurricane Sandy babies,” “blizzard babies” and even “9/11 babies” has been apocryphal at best.

Despite stories suggesting otherwise, statistics show that disaster baby booms are urban legends since storms and blackouts don’t cause couples to throw caution and contraception to the wind.

Continue reading “Men Who Are Worried About a ‘Baby Bust’ Should Try Talking to Women by Erin Ryan”

Man Stabs Wife in ‘Brutal Attack’ in Argument Over Attending Church on Mother’s Day by L. Blair

Man Stabs Wife in ‘Brutal Attack’ in Argument Over Attending Church on Mother’s Day by L. Blair

I don’t even know where to start with this story (see headline further below).

Too many Christians revere motherhood to the point they marginalize and shame any woman who has never had children (for whatever reason, whether from choice or by circumstance).

Additionally, a lot of hyper- pro- marriage conservatives, both secular and Christian, idolize marriage, and in the process, they sometimes shame singles for being single and say all sorts of insulting things about single and childless adults.

Both secular and conservative Christians who push marriage and natalism way too much often like to say that being married and being a parent are necessary states to make a person godly, more loving, ethical, and responsible.

They assume and like to spread the disinformation that all single adults are irresponsible, immature, immoral, or selfish.

So how funny it is to see news headlines below, which put a lie to those conservative stereotypes about marital or parental status.

(Not that I find it funny that the woman was stabbed; I sure don’t find that part of this amusing. I just mean to say that in light of the many news stories of (Link):  married people or (Link): parents who rape, kill, steal, or murder that one would think that Christians and secular conservative pro-family groups would stop promoting marriage and parenthood as “cures” for people or for the culture)

(Link): Man Stabs Wife in ‘Brutal Attack’ in Argument Over Attending Church on Mother’s Day by L. Blair

Excerpts:

May 2021

A Texas mother was repeatedly stabbed in a “brutal attack” by her husband during an argument over attending church on Mother’s Day and he is now on the lam, police say.

In a statement released Monday, the Nacogdoches County Sheriff’s Office said they are now seeking help from the public in apprehending the woman’s husband, 43-year-old Rodolfo Madera Gonzalez, for aggravated assault with a weapon–family violence, which is a first-degree felony.

Continue reading “Man Stabs Wife in ‘Brutal Attack’ in Argument Over Attending Church on Mother’s Day by L. Blair”

Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson

Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson

(Link): Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson

Excerpts:

Not sure about motherhood? You aren’t alone.

Author and activist Rachel Cargle didn’t always realize that she would want to lead a child-free lifestyle. In fact, the Brooklyn-based writer told TODAY Parents that the decision to choose a life without kids wasn’t something she ever really considered growing up.

“I was, very much so, intent on checking the boxes of job, marriage, kids, and so I can’t say that I would fit in the ‘I’ve always known’ category,” the 32-year-old said. “I was under the impression that motherhood was a requisite of my womanhood, and so my desire to be a mother was auto-piloted based on that. It took a lot of honest observation and considerate introspection to both come to the decision and to be able to vocalize it.”

Cargle is among a growing number of women who are choosing not to have children, with many saying they prefer the term “child-free” to “childless” because it fits their feelings about motherhood more accurately.

Their decisions are part of a larger trend: In 2018, the number of (Link): babies born in the U.S. fell to the lowest level in 32 years, and the (Link): rate has been declining steadily ever since.

Continue reading “Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson”