Children Don’t Come Cheap: Cost of Raising One Hits $233,610 (2017 Findings)

Children Don’t Come Cheap: Cost of Raising One Hits $233,610

(Link):  Raising kids isn’t cheap — and the annual cost of a child is only going up by J. Dennin

Wondering if you can afford to have a kid? Here’s some sobering news.

Children born in 2015 will cost about $380 more per year to raise than kids born in 2014, according to the Department of Agriculture’s latest report on the cost of raising a child in the United States, released Monday.

Overall, families spend between $12,350 and $13,900 annually on their kids, at least when you’re talking married couples with two kids in the middle third of income bands, the report found.

Continue reading “Children Don’t Come Cheap: Cost of Raising One Hits $233,610 (2017 Findings)”

Teen-Raping Texas Pastor Gets life in Prison After using the Bible to Justify Abusing Women – Equally Yoked is BUNK

Teen-Raping Texas Pastor Gets life in Prison After using the Bible to Justify Abusing Women – Equally Yoked is BUNK

Far below is a link to a page about a pastor who raped girls in and from a church. Notice in the article how other church-goers who went to church with this guy described him as being “very nice” or as being a “good Christian.”

My Christian parents brought me up to think if I wanted to marry, that the best place for me to meet potential spouses would be at a church. I suppose the assumption with that is that the type of men who attend church regularly are going to be “safer” or better moral choices than the type of dude you might meet at a bar.

However, in the last few years of running this blog, I have seen (Link): so many news stories of church-going Christian men who get arrested for abuse or perversion, I now have my doubts about that.

Secondly, single women out-number single men in churches. I know that every church I’ve been to in person, I’ve been one of the few singles there. The only men in attendance and 80 years old, which would be fine if I were 80 too, but I’m not, and May December relationships (Link): make me want to barf. (I do not want to date or marry dudes who are over 5 or 10 years my age.)

I’ve done blog posts before about Pat Robertson, who has criticized women on his Christian TV show, for having married jerks, perverts, or abusers. Robertson seems to think women should be able to instantly spot if a man is a jerk, creep, loser, or abuser from the start. He’s wrong and an idiot about this.

The fact is, as this article below shows, even other adults who go to church with these kinds of deviant men are not aware of what a creep or pervert these guys are.

These are not people who are dating the guy – they are simply sitting next to him in church every week. If they cannot spot the perverts among them easily, why do Christian conservative men like Robertson think women who date men should be any better?

Continue reading “Teen-Raping Texas Pastor Gets life in Prison After using the Bible to Justify Abusing Women – Equally Yoked is BUNK”

Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late by A. Ellin

Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late

(Link):  Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late by A. Ellin

Excerpts:

August 5, 2016

SPARKY CAMPANELLA never heard the thrumming of a biological clock. But his “sociological clock” — his sense that he was missing out on something important in life — boomed mightily. At the age of 54, he decided to do something about it. He became a father.

He was single, but so what? “I decided I could either do it myself, or wait for the right partner to come along,” said Mr. Campanella, a Los Angeles fine arts photographer whose son, Rhys, is a little over 1 year old. Over the years he had dated women who had children of their own, but he realized that he didn’t want to be a stepdad.

….It’s a question many childless people over 50 are asking themselves. Of course, dealing with night feedings and rambunctious 2-year-olds are not for the faint of heart. But with their finances in order and their careers in place, with their life spans extended, some older people are concluding: Why not start — or continue — raising children in later life?

Continue reading “Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late by A. Ellin”

With Menopause Reversal, Women Could Be Forever Fertile

With Menopause Reversal, Women Could Be Forever Fertile

(Link): With Menopause Reversal, Women Could Be Forever Fertile

The hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness characteristic of menopause may no longer also signal the end of a woman’s fertility thanks to a blood treatment used to heal wounds.

Presenting their findings at the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology annual meeting in Helsinki, Finland, this month, researchers in Greece said they were able to reverse menopause in roughly 30 women, including one who entered menopause at 40 but five years later menstruated again, reports (Link): New Scientist.

Continue reading “With Menopause Reversal, Women Could Be Forever Fertile”

Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion? by E. Day

Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion?

(Link): Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion? by E. Day

Excerpts:

  • Remarks like Leadsom’s go far beyond the usual cut-and-thrust of the political arena and reveal how (Link): childless women are still viewed with innate suspicion. This, in spite of the fact that women in their mid-40s are now almost twice as likely to be childless as their parents’ generation. One in five women born in 1969 is childless today, compared with one in nine women born in 1942.
  • But there remains a taboo, a retrograde belief that (Link): we are in some way unnatural for not fulfilling our biological destiny. How else to explain the fact that the first question many people ask when I meet them is whether I have children, followed by an uncomfortable pause when I say that I don’t. “But why?” I can see them thinking. “What’s wrong with her?”

Continue reading “Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion? by E. Day”

The Eclipse of White Christian America

The Eclipse of White Christian America

(Link): The Eclipse of White Christian America

Excerpts:

  • A once powerful demographic group is losing ground in American politics.
  • For most of the country’s history, white Christian America—the cultural and political edifice built primarily by white Protestant Christians—set the tone for our national conversations and shaped American ideals. But today, many white Christian Americans feel profoundly anxious as their numbers and influence are waning.
  • ..The key question is not why one white Protestant subgroup is faring worse than another, but why white Protestantism as a whole—arguably the most powerful cultural force in the history of the United States—has faded. The answer is, in part, a matter of powerful demographic changes.

Continue reading “The Eclipse of White Christian America”

Many Parents Will Say Kids Make Them Happier. They’re Probably Lying. by A. Swanson

Many Parents Will Say Kids Make Them Happier. They’re Probably Lying. by A. Swanson 

(Link): Many Parents Will Say Kids Make Them Happier. They’re Probably Lying. by A. Swanson 

Excerpts:

  • Ask the vast majority of American parents, and they will tell you that having kids has made them happier.
  • The problem with this claim, as common as it is, is that (Link): research suggests it just isn’t true. People who have kids in the United States and in many countries around the world report being less happy than people who don’t have kids. Being a parent gives people a sense of purpose and meaning, as well as lifelong social connections. But for some reason, it doesn’t appear to bring American parents more happiness.
  • Now, new research has shed light on why this might be.
  • …The key to their findings is that not every country experiences a “parenting happiness gap” like the United States does. On average, an American parent reports being 12 percent unhappier than a non-parent in America – the biggest gap in the 22 countries the researchers looked at, followed distantly by Ireland. In 12 other countries, non-parents also described themselves as happier than parents.
  • ..The researchers examined the differences among these countries to figure out what might be causing the happiness gap. They conclude that U.S. policies – or, more accurately, the lack of them – are likely to be the fundamental cause, by increasing the cost and the amount of stress and anxiety that parents feel.

Related Posts:

(Link):  ‘It’s a break from the kids’: Why parents cheat more than childless couples

(Link):  Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

(Link):  Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

 

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

I believe I first saw this link on Melanie Notkin’s Twitter:

(Link):  Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Excerpts:

  • I’m a PANK. Yeah, you’re reading that right. I’m a PANK, a Professional Aunt No Kids.
  • ….I recently shared something on my personal Facebook page that reads, “I’m tired of hearing, ‘When are you going to get married and have kids?’ Let me tell you, I could have done that already and chose not to.

Continue reading “Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes”

Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

I hope this father realizes that men over 40 who father kids are more likely to father a kid with various diseases, see link 1, link 2, link 3.

(Link): Dad places newspaper ad to find wife for son

(Link):  Dad seeks ‘wife’ for 48-year-old son with full-page newspaper ad

(Link):  Wife wanted: Dad places spouse-needed ad in Idaho newspaper

  • The ad gives a brief description of Brooks, including a photo with the disclaimer, “I look just like my picture, except I now have grey hair.” The “About You” section states applicants “Will be attractive being height and weight proportional.” It also goes on to say that applicants should be prepared to have children with Brooks and also be a stay-at- home mom.

(Link):  MEDDLING BEVERLY HILLS DAD PUTS OUT FULL-PAGE AD TO FIND 48-YEAR-OLD SON A WIFE

  • He said his father has been ill and wants a grandson to carry on the family name.Brooks compared his father to Larry David’s character in the TV series “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” saying he “thinks he does the right thing, and then it all blows up in his face.”

    He said he’d never buy an ad like this himself, but “it’s worth a shot. Can’t hurt.”

(Link):  Full-page newspaper ad seeking wife

(Link): Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

  • One father in Beverly Hills is trying to find his son a wife the old-fashioned way.
  • Arthur Brooks, 78, spent $900 on a full-page ad in Idaho’s Coeur d’Alene Press newspaper using the headline “Looking For a Wife.”

Continue reading “Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son”

Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

Christians sure do go on and on about how the Nuclear Family is so important to culture – I’m here to say that being in a Nuclear Family did not protect this teen girl from statutory rape, or from her sicko father trying to marry her off to her rapist.

I’m sure there are plenty of single-parent families out there who don’t end up trying to marry their son or daughter off to that child’s rapist. So, Christians really need to drop the rhetoric about how Nuclear Families are the Cure for everything that ails society (not to mention the Bible does not teach this).

Christians: Stop spreading the falsehood that parenthood is necessary to make a person mature, ethical or godly – not only does the Bible not teach this, but real life examples show you it’s just not true. Such as.

(Link): Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

  • May 31, 2016
  • An Idaho man will spend about four months in jail for taking his pregnant 14-year-old daughter to Missouri and having her marry a 24-year-old family friend who had raped her.
  • The father pleaded guilty to injury to a child last week, and a judge put him behind bars for 120 days and ordered three years of supervised probation, the Idaho State Journal reported.

Continue reading “Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail”

Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

I first got wind of this story via SCCL Facebook group ((Link): Conversation about this topic at SCCL FB Group).

A link to a news article about the Mommy Blogger is much farther below. I wanted to say a few things before getting to the article.

The (ex?) mommy blogger in question, Josi Denise, says in one of her blog posts that a lot of mommy blogging is fake and too happy-clappy.

Denise’s critique of Mommy Blogging is reminiscent of my views on blogs or magazine articles by Christians pertaining to adult singleness, which you can read here:

I find that a lot of Christian-written material for adult singles is too sickeningly sweet.

There is an absence in most Christian-penned material for singles that honestly, really gets into and grapples with, how hard, painful, or disappointing it can be to be single into your 30s and older, when you had really expected or had hoped to marry.

Continue reading “Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs”

Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Family by E. Hines

Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Family

(Link): Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Family by E. Hines

Excerpts

  • ….But today, most families hardly fit that [nuclear family] mold. Fifty percent of American adults are unmarried and 41 percent of children in America are born to unmarried parents.
  • That is an indication that the very concept of family is evolving, as more and more people realize that there are any number of ways to build good and functioning familial units.

Continue reading “Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Family by E. Hines”

Mothers Over 40 in Record Baby Boom: Number of Women Who Give Birth in Their Fifth Decade or Later Trebles

Mothers Over 40 in Record Baby Boom: Number of Women Who Give Birth in Their Fifth Decade or Later Trebles

This article is from 2010. I could have sworn I already did a blog post on this, but I looked around my blog a little bit and don’t see it.

(Link): Mothers over 40 in record baby boom: Number of women who give birth in their fifth decade or later trebles

  • By Steve Doughty for the Daily Mail
  • A baby boom among older women has trebled the number giving birth after their 40th birthday.
  • Almost 27,000 babies were born to mothers over 40 last year, figures revealed yesterday.
  • The unprecedented level is nearly three times the total of 20 years ago and up by 50 per cent over the past decade.
  • Even during the post-war childbirth peak in the Sixties there were fewer children born to women in their fifth decade and beyond.
  • Britain now has one of the highest birth rates for older women in the world, with 3.8 per cent of all babies born to mothers over 40. Only Italy has a higher level in Europe.

Continue reading “Mothers Over 40 in Record Baby Boom: Number of Women Who Give Birth in Their Fifth Decade or Later Trebles”

Woman in Her 70s May Be Oldest Ever to Give Birth

Woman in Her 70s May Be Oldest Ever to Give Birth

(Link): Woman in Her 70s May Be Oldest Ever to Give Birth

Excerpts:

  • By ARSHAD R. ZARGAR & ASHLEY WELCH CBS NEWS
  • May 12, 2016, 3:23 PM
  • A woman in India could make the record books as one of the oldest ever to give birth.
  • Daljinder Kaur, who’s believed to be at least 70 years old, gave birth to a son named Arman (meaning “wish” in Hindi) on April 19. The baby was the first for Kaur and her 79-year-old husband, Mohinder Singh Gill, after nearly five decades of marriage.
  • “I feel blessed to be able to hold my own baby. I had lost hope of becoming a mother ever,” said Kaur, who underwent two years of (Link): IVF treatment and had two failed attempts earlier.

Continue reading “Woman in Her 70s May Be Oldest Ever to Give Birth”

Eight Ways to Rethink the Conversation About Singleness by K. Kreminski

Eight Ways to Rethink the Conversation About Singleness by K. Kreminski

  • PREFACE: my blog stalker, John Morgan, is probably going to take this link I spotted today and share it on his own blog, reference it on his own blog, or visit this other blog to leave a comment there.
  • The guy apparently takes content from my blog without giving me credit, which is not only dishonest or unfair, but it’s hypocritical, because in the past he deemed me untrustworthy for not stating my real name on my blog or posts.
  • If you think I am untrustworthy for using a pen name, or for whatever reason, stop taking any links, content, and ideas from my blog to use on your own blog, or to run over to other sites I link to in order to leave comments there. You are being a huge hypocrite.
  • Please see (Link): this post for more on John Morgan or (Link): this post. Thank you.

This blog post by Kreminski about singleness (link and excerpt much farther below) hits on several points I’ve been raising on my own blog for the last 3 or 4 years:

Christians are already too marriage focused, and in their defensive posture of saving culture and marriage from what they perceive as threats (such as homosexual marriage and liberalism), they hype marriage to the exclusion of singleness.

Some conservatives and Christians go so far as to denigrate singleness in order to extol marriage, something the Bible never does. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to stay single than marry, and that marriage does nothing but bring people problems in life.

I have also noted on my blog many times before that the demographics in our nation (and others) have shifted with more people staying single over their lifetimes, or, if they marry, they are marrying at much older ages than they used to. Most conservative expressions of Christianity, however, continue to cater to married couples.

Out of the Christians who do notice this demographic shift, they shame singles for being singles and promote something called “early marriage.” These Christians shame and scold Christians to get married, rather than just accept them in their single status.

In previous blog posts, I have also discussed what I termed “Married People Privilege.” Married people, especially ones with children, like to think that their lives are ten times more difficult than that of childless singles.

Continue reading “Eight Ways to Rethink the Conversation About Singleness by K. Kreminski”

Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

I spotted this link (shared farther down page) when it was shared on WatchKeep’s Twitter today. My blog is not about child sexual abuse per se. I tend to focus, most often, on issues surrounding adult singleness.

If you are an adult Christian single who wants to be married, please reconsider following the “Be equally yoked” teaching. Whether or not the guy in this news story I have in this blog post is a “true” Christian or not is beside the point.

You can date a Christian man who you believe to be a “true” Christian – maybe you met him at church (which is pretty rare because single males do not attend churches), or maybe you met him on a Christian dating site (which some Christian men have used to select rape victims), and he shows all the outward signs of “loving the Lord” and so on and so forth – but then it is revealed he is a child rapist.

Would you really want to discover the guy you married is a child rapist, or views child porn?

I also question the pastor of this church who is defending the child rapist: could you imagine marrying a preacher, who you would assume is a godly man, only to find out he blames child rape victims for having been raped?

Also be aware that pedophiles actively seek wife material at churches. That’s right, single Christian lady: some guy who is a pedophile may start flirting with you at church or in Sunday School, hoping you will date and marry him. I did (Link): a post about this several days ago.

(Link):  Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist

Excerpt:

  • April 15, 2016
  • A Kentucky pastor is defending the decision to allow a convicted sex offender [Thomas Hopper] to work at his church [Truth Apostolic Church].
  • … Hopper was convicted of rape and sodomy of a 13-year-old girl in the early 1990s, followed by multiple criminal convictions in the early 2000s.  …

Continue reading “Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching”

Baptist Preacher Led Church for Five Years as Registered Sex Offender – and They Celebrated Him

Baptist Preacher Led Church for Five Years as Registered Sex Offender – and They Celebrated Him

The mind boggles at how so many churches are either blind to abuse, or, if they notice or discover it, support the abuser and harass the abuser’s victims.

In this case, one report said that this church knew that their preacher was a sex offender, and they gave him glowing praise in some church annual report.

The Jesus of the Bible would say that this child molesting sicko preacher should have a mill stone tied around his neck and tossed into the sea, not given slaps on the back and awards, give me a break.

The article by the preacher (second link below) says that the rest of his denomination used legal loopholes to get around informing the rest of the members that there was a child sexual predator in their midst – which could have left other children even more vulnerable to being molested by the deviant.

My parents used to teach me that churches were the best place to meet a mate, if you were single and wanted to get married.

In light of all the horrible news stories I see about professing male Christians (some of whom are married) who are arrested for raping children, raping grown women, or having serial affairs, I think that I am just as well off dumping the “be equally yoked” rule and dating Non-Christian men.

There was a report that came out a few weeks ago that says that Christian ministry (clergy) is an attractive profession to a lot of people who are clinically NPD (narcissistic personality disorder); learn more about that (Link): here (look for 3-09-16 / Guest: Darrell broadcast – or please try this link). That is yet another reason to avoid dating or marrying Christian men, especially the ones who harbor clergy ambitions.

I don’t know if the deviant preacher mentioned in this news story is a married guy or not, or if he is a father or not.

(Link): Connecticut Pastor Led Church for Five Years as Registered Sex Offender.

  • A pastor at a Baptist Church in New Haven, Connecticut, was allowed to continue leading his church for five years while on the state sex offender registry after a child-molestation conviction, letters from church officials and state court records show.
  • It was only after his second arrest—in 2014 on child pornography charges—that Eli Echevarria stepped down from leading El Calvario Baptist Church, according to the letters and court records.
  • Church leaders, who operate independently of the central Baptist governing authority in Connecticut, have not responded to multiple requests for comment. Echevarria is serving a two-year prison sentence” (“Baptist Church Was Led by Sex Offender for Years,” Courant.com).

(Link): Breaking My Church’s Silence About A Pedophile

  • By Preacher Bill Keane
  • March 20, 2016
  • Thirty-two years in the pulpit have shown me that ministry isn’t based on what you plan, it’s expressed in how you stand up to what can’t be foreseen. That’s why, after wrestling with futile internal protest, and seeing no definitively informative and positive change, I decided to make public the failure of my church hierarchy to expose one of its long-term ministers as a pedophile.
  • On the contrary, last April, the annual report of the American Baptist Churches of Connecticut included praise and gratitude for Eli Echevarria, convicted four months before and sentenced to prison for possessing child pornography involving young girls down to toddlers. The printed endorsement nearly sucked the life out of my soul.
  •  

    More than a year earlier, the same man began visiting my congregation in Branford. We welcomed him, and in the following months he mixed with the congregation, including the children.

  • …Indeed, in the previously mentioned letter from our regional president, relative to not informing local pastoral leadership about Echevarria’s history, he said that the ABCConn executive minister at the time had contacted church legal counsel, who told her that “there is no statutory requirement to make public information more public.”
  • Therefore, instead of receiving a responsible explanation for leaving local leadership out of the loop, it was fancy legalese with no biblical or ethical basis.
  •  

    Then, in December 2015, I received the police investigation report leading to the most recent arrest, conviction and incarceration of the applauded pedophile. Just the short file names describing the child pornography involved made me want to cry and throw up. The police report describes images of men having sex with pre-pubescent girls, some described as being “clearly toddlers.” It is a painful thing to face the fact that such evil exists. Yet turning a blind eye is not an option.

————-

Related Posts:

(Link):  Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

(Link):  Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it (New Study Says Conservatives Have Better Self Control Than Liberals)

Hypocrisy: Conservative Christians / Catholics Pressure Women To Feel Their Only Worth is in Becoming Mothers, But If Women Try to Use Medical Technology to Get Pregnant, the Women Are Condemned by The Same Groups

Hypocrisy: Conservative Christians / Catholics Pressure Women To Feel Their Only Worth is in Becoming Mothers, But If Women Try to Use Medical Technology to Get Pregnant, the Women Are Condemned by The Same Groups


LANGUAGE ALERT. I blow up a few places in this blog post and use dirty words, including dropping the “F” bomb once or twice.


Thank God I never felt a strong tug or urge to have children. I never cared if I had one or not. I’ve never measured my value or womanhood by if I had a kid or not. THANK GOD.

I feel sorry for women who really, really wanted a kid but were unable to have one, whatever the reason. Women are under a lot of pressure, even from secular culture, to have children. Women who don’t have kids are either viewed with suspicion or with pity.

I have blogged on this topic two or three times before. The editorial I link to below is focused on Roman Catholics, but I have seen a small number of Protestants write editorials condemning IVF and the like as well.

This makes my blood boil.

These Catholic and conservative Protestant (and Baptists) shame women into having children, conveying the notion that a woman’s only value resides in things like getting pregnant and having babies.

If a woman therefore buys into this propaganda and desperately tries to have a baby (or even if she just wants to have a baby, Christian propaganda aside), these same Christian groups criticize these ladies (and their husbands, if their husbands are on board) for using medical technology to conceive.

These Christians tell women they must have babies, that they are obligated to have babies. Christians pressure and nag women to have babies.

But when or if women then have to turn to medical science to conceive because they or their spouse have fertility issues, these natalistic- obsessed Christians condemn them for it.

I cannot begin to communicate how angry this makes me. These groups are putting people into no-win situations, then blaming them for a system, or for failing to meet a set of values, that they themselves created!

It rather reminds me of Jesus’ condemnation of the Pharisees, when he said to them something like,

  • “How dare you put burdens on to people’s shoulders but then refuse to do so much as lend a finger to lift those same burdens.”

It’s the same exact phenomenon.

It also reminds me a tad of Christians who shame and pressure adult singles to marry, but if we singles try to actually get married, take action to make it happen – by flirting, by going to bars to meet other singles, or by using dating sites, or asking church members to fix us up on dates – we gets scolded for trying to do what they tell us we should be doing!

We singles are supposed to just sit with our hands neatly folded on our laps, wait, and pray and hope that God happens to send a spouse across our paths, with no action on our part to make it come to pass. This has been a losing strategy – which is taught by a lot of Christians – for a lot of singles, including me.

For the love of Frank, if you do not approve of IVF (or whatever fertility programs), or, if you do not approve of Christians using dating sites or visiting bars to meet potential mates in an attempt to make marriage come about, stop lecturing or pressuring people to have children or to marry in the first place! Stop treating the childless, child free, or the singles as though they are failures or second class citizens!

You cannot dictate both the what and the how. Pick one or the other.

Or better yet, stop telling people how they should live their lives, and stop telling them that “X” is the only appropriate way or age to make something (marriage, having kids, whatever) happen.

The Bible actually does NOT command anyone to marry or have children and does not specify an age by which it “should” happen – Jesus Christ, the founder of Christianity, never married nor had kids, and Paul said in 1 Cor. 7 it is better to stay single (and hence celibate and child free).

One portion of the article reads:

  • …Not all Catholic bio-ethicists even believe every couple deserves to be parents. “If a couple decides they have the right to a child, the child has become a commodity,” Marie Hilliard, director of bioethics and public policy at the National Catholic Bioethics Center in Philadelphia, (Link): told Religion News Service last year. “And if they haven’t been given the gift of a child, it doesn’t mean they have the right to a child as commodity.”

This ticks me off very much.

Who are these douche bags to say some people don’t “deserve”  to be parents? Unless we are talking about people who would abuse any kids they have, these bio-ethicists are wrong.

Who are they to say who “deserves to have kids” or not? The ego here is amazing.

Just because a couple wants to have a kid does not mean they view children as “commodities,” give me a fucking break, Hilliard.

This reminds me of Christians who hound adult singles to get married, and if we say yes, we’d like to get married and are using dating sites to pursue that course of action, they then say, “You must stop, for you have made marriage into an idol.”

These groups set up something that they say everyone should have or do, but if that something is out of reach and would require a person to take additional steps (using IVF, or using dating sites, what have you), they then condemn these people.

For fuck’s sake. Stop, stop, stop pressuring people to think they have to do “X” in life, but if they cannot do “X” on their own, but have to get outside help to achieve “X,” don’t sit there and chide them for getting that outside help to do something you say they should be doing to start with.

What a bunch of double-standard holding, hypocritical ASSHOLES – they put unrealistic standards and burdens on people and tell them they cannot do anything to change or improve whatever the situation is. This kind of thing just drives me nuts, I swear.

Here is the article:

(Link): Begotten Not Made: The Vatican Doesn’t Want IVF Babies by B L Nadeau

  • The logic of the Catholic Church rules out many techniques used to help infertile couples.
  • … Catholic dogma may be “pro-life” and certainly pro-creation (and anti-contraception), but only for the fertile.

Continue reading “Hypocrisy: Conservative Christians / Catholics Pressure Women To Feel Their Only Worth is in Becoming Mothers, But If Women Try to Use Medical Technology to Get Pregnant, the Women Are Condemned by The Same Groups”

Cops: Mom Allegedly Made, Sold Sexually-Charged Breastfeeding Videos

Cops: Mom Allegedly Made, Sold Sexually-Charged Breastfeeding Videos

Another notch in the bedpost of arguments against the Southern Baptist, Reformed, evangelical Protestant, Fundamentalist, and what seems to be the Roman Catholic propaganda that being a mother makes a woman more godly, loving, and mature…

Notice also that it was a married man who was buying and viewing these videos. Christians like to argue that single adults are horny horn dogs who are sexual deviants, and that married people are more godly and sexually ethical than singles – but I am forever seeing news stories about married people who are caught engaging in sexually perverse acts, like in this story.

Also, married sex is not as fulfilling as Christians claim it is, if married men keep going outside their marriages to get extra nooky from other people.

(Link): Cops: Mom Allegedly Made, Sold Sexually-Charged Breastfeeding Videos

  • by Chris Harris
  • Police in Florida have arrested a 31-year-old single mother accused of selling sexually explicit breast-feeding videos that allegedly featured her 18-month-old son.
  • Charges filed against Leigh Felten – a piano teacher from Tallahassee – during her arrest on on Friday include cruelty toward a child, promoting sexual performance by a child, lewd and lascivious behavior and molestation, according to a probable cause affidavit obtained by PEOPLE.
  • The document claims police in Wisconsin had reached out to their counterparts in Tallahassee on Oct. 6, after receiving a complaint from a woman who said her husband had allegedly bought and downloaded seven videos from a woman via YouTube.
  • The woman called police because the videos – purchased using PayPal – showed a woman breast-feeding a toddler “as both of them were nude.”
  • The affidavit says the videos depict “the female…rubbing oil on herself and the child. At one point, the female’s vagina and the child’s penis appear to be in contact with one another.”
  • The Wisconsin woman also told police she believed her husband travelled to Florida “to meet with the suspect, where he engaged in sexual intercourse with her.”
  • According to the affidavit, one video police inspected featured Felten “as she rubs her breasts back and forth across the child’s face.”
  • Felten remains in police custody on $60,000 bond. Court records did not indicate whether she has a lawyer at this time and it’s unclear whether she’s entered a plea.

Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant

Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant

This article says that this practice has critics. Oh good lord. My fellow conservatives, and a lot of Christians, whine and moan about women such as myself, who never married or who never had kids.

One staple of Christian gender complementarianism is to teach men and women (but especially women) that their “highest calling in life” is to become a parent (mother).

So, you get really marginalized in their world if you don’t have a kid – whether due to choice, infertility, or what some term situational infertility (ie, the women never met the right guy).

But here you have women who are virgins who are getting pregnant via IVF or by whatever method, and they are still getting criticized.

Like I said in an earlier post, (Link): no matter how you slice it, no matter what you do – if you have kids or don’t have kids, or if you say, have kids at age 35 or 45, or, say, only have one kid or have 15 kids, Christians and conservatives will criticize you for it.

If you use birth control, they will criticize you for that, or for what type of birth control you use.

There is no winning, no matter what life choices you make, or no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.

Conservatives and Christians practically demand that all women become mothers, but becoming a mother is not good enough – no no no. You must only become a mother in a manner in which THEY APPROVE.

Some religious guy is quoted in this article as saying IVF turns women into nothing more than breeding machines – but Islam and conservative Christianity already treat women as though they are nothing more than breeding machines. Conservative Christians certainly have no respect for virgin (childless) women who are over the age of 25 / 30.

Conservative religious types also penalize women who have a child outside of marriage – I have blogged a few times before about Jewish or Christian employers who have FIRED women from their jobs who had sex prior to marriage, who became pregnant (like (Link): this story, for example).

Religious types punish women coming and going for having kids, for not having kids, or, if they do have a kid, for WHEN they have a kid, and if they do it with a man or alone  (ie, IVF).

Concerning marital status and child bearing, there is NO WINNING with these people, outside a very narrow set of parameters that are not possible for every woman to meet (i.e, getting married to a great guy by one’s mid 20s and then having a kid before the age of 30 with said husband).

Notice that someone in this article, Daws, associates having sex with being a full adult. She assumes, quite condescendingly, that virgins are incapable of knowing or having maturity or are capable of forming close bonds with another human being. Daws is incorrect. A person does not have to have sex with another person to be mature or capable of bonding. To suggest otherwise is deeply insulting.

(Link): Advent of the virgin births: Women who have never been in a relationship paying £5,000 to get pregnant

  • by Rachel Ellis
  • At least 25 straight women who’ve never had sex have given birth via IVF
  • Four British firms known to have helped the women with £5,000 treatment
  • Doctors say women often don’t want to wait for their ideal man
  • Critics have said the practice undermines process of motherhood 
  • Dozens of young heterosexual women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.
  • Some are using the £5,000 fertility treatment to bypass the need to involve a man, and others so that they can save themselves for a ‘special relationship’.
  • Doctors said last night at least 25 straight women had given birth in the past five years despite being virgins. But campaigners for the traditional family said the ‘distorted’ move turned babies into little more than ‘teddy bears’ to be ‘picked off the shelf’.
  • Religious groups said it undermined the importance of bringing up children in a stable marriage, while a leading psychotherapist warned that having a mother who had never been in a relationship could harm a child’s development.

Continue reading “Advent of the Virgin Births: Women who Have Never Been in a Relationship Paying £5,000 to Get Pregnant”