Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles (links)
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The book Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind of Happiness by Melanie Notkin is available for sale on Barnes and Noble, and other sites.

From a page about the book:

    More American women are childless than ever before—nearly half those of childbearing age don’t have children.

While our society often assumes these women are “childfree by choice,” that’s not always true.

In reality, many of them expected to marry and have children, but it simply hasn’t happened. Wrongly judged as picky or career-obsessed, they make up the “Otherhood,” a growing demographic that has gone without definition or visibility until now.

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Disclaimer: I am not anti-motherhood, nor necessarily against people taking their mothers out to brunch on Mother’s Day.

I am, however, against the onslaught of syrupy Mother’s Day hoopla on and before the day, and the church services that honor mothers because:

  • Some people (women included) were abused by their mothers and so find the holiday awkward or painful,
  • some people had or have mothers who are/were cruel or overly-critical,
  • some people’s mothers are dead and they miss them terribly,
  • some women desire to be a mother but cannot because they are infertile, their spouse is infertile, or they are single and cannot find “Mr. Right” (and don’t believe in getting pregnant outside of marriage, or don’t feel they could support a baby alone)
  • some women choose to be child free, but feel excluded or shamed by church and secular staggering emphasis on motherhood on the holiday

Some Christians have turned motherhood (as well as fatherhood and marriage) into idols, which they should repent of.
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This post discusses “Otherhood” (women who delay motherhood for years, or who are infertile, or ones who were open to having children but who’ve not met “Mr Right,” and for whatever reason, do not want to have a child while single, but would prefer to be married before having kids)

OTHERHOOD

(Link): The Otherhood: Single women face ‘circumstantial infertility’

Excerpt

    Melanie Notkin wanted love, marriage, and then the proverbial baby carriage — in that order.

By the time she reached her early forties, the entrepreneur and author was still single and appreciated the likelihood that, despite wanting desperately to be a mother, she might never give birth to a child on her own.

Like many women her age, Notkin, 44, a Montreal native, expected to reap all the social, economic, and political equality that her mother’s generation didn’t have. At the same time, in addition to her education and her career, she anticipated a traditional family track.

In her new book, released today, “Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind of Happiness,” Notkin uncovers the personal stories of women like her, who are part of a growing demographic trend and suffer what she calls “circumstantial infertility.”

Often, people presume that when a woman like Notkin is childless, it’s probably by choice. But many of the childless women in their thirties and forties simply want to do it the “old fashioned way,” she says, and find the right relationship before making a lifetime commitment to have kids.

Continue reading “Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)”

Judges Who Force Insane, Negligent Women, or Addicts to Get Abortions or Undergo Sterilization – Also: Court Ordered Male Sterilization – Being A Parent Does Not Make A Person More Godly, Mature, or Responsible

Judges Who Force Insane, Negligent Women, or Addicts to Get Abortions or Undergo Sterilization – Also: Court Ordered Male Sterilization – Being A Parent Does Not Make A Person More Godly, Mature, or Responsible

I am a right winger and am pro-life. I am not “anti family.” However, I am opposed to the fact that many Christians have turned having or raising babies, the nuclear family, and marriage into idols.

Many Christians tend to exclude or talk rudely about never-married, celibate adults, and anyone who is childless, and other types of singles, such as the divorced.

Evangelical Christians – as well as Southern Baptists, fundamentalists, the Reformed and other types of Christians – harbor this wacko, unbiblical, weird idea that a person using his or her genitalia to make a baby automatically affords that individual godliness, maturity, and a sense of responsibility.

Single adults who never marry or make babies are said by many Christians to be selfish or irresponsible.

(Christians never take into account that some of these singles wanted to marry and/or have children but could never find a suitable partner or are infertile.)

The fact is that using your biological parts to make a baby does not make you more godly or mature than someone who does not.

See examples in this thread at this blog:
(Link): Parenthood Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

That a woman can reproduce and does so does not make her more mature, responsible, loving, giving, self-less, or godly than women who cannot, or women who can and choose not to.

Some women are so hideous at parenting, so immature, so selfish, that they neglect their own children, or abuse them – to the point that judges seek to have these women sterilized, or their family members do.

Here are some examples – never mind that some of these decisions were overturned, the fact is that some women are so horrible at parenting that someone, a judge or family member, was even considering these options to start with:

(Link): Appeals Court Overturns Judge Who Ordered Sterilization for Schizophrenic Pregnant Woman

    Posted Jan 18, 2012 7:15 AM CST
    By Debra Cassens Weiss

    The Massachusetts Appeals Court has overturned an order by a now-retired probate judge who authorized an abortion for a schizophrenic woman and decided sua sponte that she should be sterilized.

    The appeals court reversed the sterilization order and called for a new evidentiary hearing on the issue of whether the woman, identified by the pseudonym Mary Moe, would have an abortion if she were competent. The Boston Herald and the Boston Globe covered the Jan. 17 opinion.

    The family court judge, Christina Harms of Norfolk, Mass., had appointed Moe’s parents as her guardians on Jan. 6 so they could consent to an abortion, according to the appeals court opinion. Harms said Moe could be “coaxed, bribed, or even enticed … by ruse” to the hospital for the procedure.

    Harms also decided sua sponte and without notice that Moe should be sterilized “to avoid this painful situation from recurring in the future.” According to the appellate opinion, “No party requested this measure, none of the attendant procedural requirements has been met, and the judge appears to have simply produced the requirement out of thin air.”

    Moe had testified she is “very Catholic” and would never have an abortion.

    However, she also denied that she is pregnant, asserted she had previously given birth to a girl named Nancy and had met the judge before. She had not met the judge and she previously gave birth to a boy, not a girl, who is being cared for by her parents.

    Moe has been hospitalized several times for mental illness. She is estimated to be up to five months pregnant.

Oddly, the secular feminist site Jezebel did not like this one bit:

Another link about the lady in Boston:

(Link): Mentally Ill Woman Fights Court-Ordered Abortion and Sterilization

    Jan 2012

    BOSTON — A Catholic mother, struggling with mental illness, is fighting for the life of her unborn child in a Massachusetts court. The 32-year-old woman, known by the pseudonym “Mary Moe” in court documents, successfully appealed an order that would have forced her to have an abortion and to undergo sterilization.

    Moe, who has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, is believed to be five months pregnant. Her court-appointed lawyer, Douglas Boyer, did not return calls seeking comment.

Other news stories about sterilization by courts:

(Link): Stump v. Sparkman

    Stump v. Sparkman, 435 U.S. 349 (1978), is the leading United States Supreme Court decision on judicial immunity. It involved an Indiana judge who was sued by a young woman who had been sterilized in accordance with the judge’s order.

    The Supreme Court held that the judge was immune from being sued for issuing the order because it was issued as a judicial function.

    In 1971, Judge Harold D. Stump granted a mother’s petition to have a tubal ligation performed on her 15-year-old daughter, who the mother alleged was “somewhat retarded.”

    The petition was granted the same day that it was filed. The judge did not hold a hearing to receive evidence or appoint a lawyer to protect the daughter’s interests.

    The daughter underwent the surgery a week later, having been told that she was to have her appendix removed.

From the UK:
(Link): Judge approves man’s sterilisation in legal first