“Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response

“Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response

I have addressed topics similar to this before on my blog, so instead of re-hashing all my previous points and arguments, I may just link you to a few of my older posts farther below.

(I should perhaps mention that I’ve had a long day today, am very tired, and currently have a bad headache, so I am not in top form to compose a post right now.)

Here’s the impetus behind this post:

I was reading through my Twitter feed today and saw a post where Janet Mefferd, Christian radio host, shared a comment about how an anti-Sexual Purity article Tweeted by Christian site ‘Relevant’ was Gnostic in nature, in that it talked about ‘sexual soul purity’ vs. ‘sexual bodily purity.’

You can read Mrs. Mefferd’s Tweet (Link): here, with some responses by me below it.

Where-upon an anti-Sexual Purity advocate I follow on Twitter by the name of April, shared Ms. Mefferd’s Tweet or another related Tweet by Mefferd with the comment above it, “Jesus didn’t die to save my hymen.”

You can view April’s tweet (Link): here.

I Tweeted in response to April the following comment:

Taking an anti-sexual purity stance waters down biblical sexual ethics. I’m over 40, still a virgin.  @ April_Kelsey

Well, I don’t recall Ms. Mefferd or myself or anyone else who defends the concept of sexual purity, or who say the Bible does teach the concept of sexual purity, as saying that Jesus died to save your hymen.

Democrats Using Family Values and Religion as Platforms or Draws – UGH

Democrats Using Family Values and Religion as Platforms or Draws – UGH

If you’re new to the blog: I have been a Republican my entire life, but one who has been unhappy with the Republican Party the last few years, for various reasons, but including, their pandering to “Family Values.”

I am not against Nuclear Families, but I am opposed to the amount of attention and focus placed on the traditional family unit by Republicans, Christians, and other conservatives.

I have recently learned that the Democratic Party is now using the GOP strategy of claiming to be “pro Family Values” and speaking fondly of Christianity to appeal to voters. I cannot believe they are doing this – it’s one reason some right wingers, like myself, are tired of the GOP and most conservative churches.

Gary Habermas joins Janet Mefferd to discuss dealing with doubt in the Christian life (Re: Unanswered Prayer – other issues)

Gary Habermas joins Janet to discuss dealing with doubt in the Christian life (Re: Unanswered Prayer)

Audio / podcast.

I have found that Janet Mefferd’s show does not work in Google Chrome (browser), sometimes does not work in FireFox, but DOES work in IE (Microsoft Internet Explorer browser). I loathe IE, but it’s the only browser that will play her show.

Habermas has recently written a book about faith and doubt or something, and he is interviewed by Janet Mefferd about it, as well as related questions, such as unanswered prayer, Christians who walk away from church because they have been hurt by other Christias, or they lost a loved one (to death), or they don’t feel Christianity is meeting their needs, etc.

You can listen to the interview here:
(I think this is hour 3 – there appears to be an hour 1 and hour 2):
(Fixed the link)

(Link): Podcast: Gary Habermas joins Janet to discuss dealing with doubt in the Christian life. (mentions unanswered prayer, other topics)

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Related posts, this blog:

(Link): Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

(Link):  Unanswered Prayer and Diversity of Doctrine and Interpretation (podcasts)

(Link):  How to Deal with Unanswered Prayers via Pastor Bil Cornelius 

(Link):   When All We Hear from God is Silence by Diane Markins

(Link): On Prayer and Christ’s Comment to Grant You Anything You Ask in His Name

(Link): Church Is Not Important, 51 Percent of US Adults Say

(Link): Guilt Tripping or Shaming the Hurt Sheep to Return to Church

(Link): Quitting Church – why single Christians aren’t going to church – church has failed Christian singles

(Link): Christians Who Can’t Agree on Who The Old Testament Is For and When or If It Applies

(Link): Why People Don’t Go To Church (various links and testimonies March 2014)

Guest on Christian Radio Show, Focus on the Family’s Mr. Daly, Claims Churches and Culture Don’t Spend Enough Money and Attention on Marriage and Family – Should I Laugh or Cry?

Guest on Christian Radio Show, Focus on the Family’s. Mr. Daly, Claims Churches and Culture Don’t Spend Enough Money and Attention on Marriage and Family – Should I Laugh or Cry?

I was listening to the Janet Mefferd radio program a few days ago, and she interviewed a Christian man from some family values group, I think Focus on the Family.

Mr. Daly sounds like a nice gentleman, but he is living in an alternate reality.

I meant to blog on this earlier but pushed it aside. I think this was the show:
(Link): Janet Mefferd – Jim Daly as guest, “The Good Dad”

Daly – if I heard correctly and understood correctly said that marriage or married couples do not get enough support from churches and/or the culture.

Daly (if I recall correctly) said churches/society need to devote more time and more resources to marriage and married couples.

I just re-listened to the show.

Yes, starting at the 18:50 mark, Daly tells Ms. Mefferd (this is a paraphrase),

Why should society cater to the one to two percent of the culture? 80 to 90% of us will marry and have children. We are the core of culture. What about us?

I’m not sure what he means by the “one or two percent.”

Does he mean never married adults? Does he mean childless married couples? Or widowers? The divorced? Homosexuals, especially the ones insisting on the legalization of homosexual marriage?

As to his 80 to 90 percent figure: I don’t think that is correct. I don’t know where he is getting that from.

Even if 80% of the American population gets married at some point, they are bound to be single again via our high divorce rates or via widowhood. But I don’t think the 80% number is correct.

Edited to add this link:

• (Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States (as of 2014)

Here’s why I think his figures may be incorrect:

According to census data released in 2005, only 23.7 percent of all Americans households are married couples with children.
• “Faith and Family in America,” a 2005 analysis by University of Akron sociologist John C. Green, says only 18.5 percent of all families meet the traditional nuclear family ideal: married, never divorced, with children at home.
• The largest demographic (25.6 percent) is childless couples.
• Church leaders uphold the former model as the ideal Christian family, but the statistics indicate they are chasing the wind.
• In some denominations, such as the Episcopal Church, fully half of the members are single. (p 93)
  ____________________________
  Source: Duin, Juila. Quitting Church.

And from census.gov,

• Single Life
  103 million

Number of unmarried people in America 18 and older in 2012.

This group made up 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older.

Source: America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2012
(Link): Source

See also
(Link): The Changing American Family (article)

(Link): Single? You’re Not Alone (date of article: 2010)

Excerpt:

There are 96 million people in the United States who have no spouse.
• That means 43 percent of all Americans over the age of 18 are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Radio Host Janet Mefferd Read My Previous Post about Marriage and Stuff, Yay!

Radio Host Janet Mefferd Read My Previous Post about Marriage and Stuff, Yay!

A couple of days ago I tweeted to Christian radio host Janet Mefferd in regards to her interview with the Focus on the Family talking head, about early marriage.

The guy on the show she was talking to, Stanton, denied that preachers are encouraging something called “early marriage,” but I tweeted to let her know that yes, some preachers are in fact pushing for early marriage.

I also explained to her that the early marriage issue fits in with the evangelical tendency to worship family and marriage.

Janet Mefferd has a national radio program. She frequently interviews well-known Christians, including preachers and book authors.

You can listen to her show (Link): here (Janet Mefferd show) (or by using the link on the far right, under the blog roll).

I also tweeted Mefferd a link to (Link): this blog page by me. I wrote that blog page pretty fast, and so I’m afraid it’s rambling.

She tweeted me back that she read it and agreed with my views about topics that were discussed on the page and agreed that a lot of Christianity has turned family into an idol.

I appreciate the fact she read my blog page (which was so very long), and that she took time to respond to me. (I thanked her in a response tweet.)

I hope that maybe in the future that Mrs. Mefferd might devote a few radio shows to this phenomenon – not just about early marriage, but about the plight of older, celibate singles – like ask author Julia Duin on for an interview, or other authors, such as Camerin Courtney, who have written about the stereotypes, tribulations, or neglect that older singles face in churches and Christian culture, and the backlash against virginity by evangelicals.

I think it was very kind of Mrs. Mefferd to take the time to read my post and reply to me personally – she must be a very busy person, getting millions of tweets per day, so I was not really expecting a reply, but I got one.

It’s also great that word is getting out about the weird, unbiblical views Christians have about marriage, singleness, dating, sex, etc.

Mefferd Guest Focus on the Family Spokesperson Stanton Incredulous that Preachers Push Kids To Marry Early

Mefferd Guest Incredulous that Preachers Push Kids To Marry Early

I will be tweeting a link to this to Janet Mefferd.

Mrs. Mefferd (if she is reading this at all!), I realize this post is way long.

However, I would appreciate it if you would read it and really take to heart and consider what it is saying, and maybe take the time to look over the links to other materials I’ve provided. The evangelical and Baptist and Reformed churches are alienating and hurting a lot of celibate, single adults.

And for anyone else reading, today, I am blogging about this:
(Link): (Janet Mefferd Show) Hour 2- Glenn Stanton from Focus on the Family discusses divorce rates. AUDIO.

Today, at least 44% of the American adult population is single [Sept 2016 update: as of 2014, according to various news sources, that figure is now 51% or higher]. This includes a big chunk of Christian women over 30, 40 who would like to marry, but marriage is not happening for them.

Evangelicals, however, continue to ignore these singles to harp on (nuclear) family, marriage, and babies.

And yes, Evangelicals are pushing for Early Marriage. They are not helping the over-30 singles, but ignoring them and advising 18 year olds to marry now.

I sent Janet Mefferd (Christian radio show host) an e-mail several months ago alerting her to some of the un-biblical, strange, and insulting views of adult, celibate, Christian singles that are held and taught by married Christians – even by famous Christians, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler – but I got no reply from her.

I have no idea if Mrs. Mefferd read my e-mail or saw it. I used the “contact form” at her site to send her the message.

I don’t always agree with Mrs. Mefferd on all issues, but I do like her on a personal level, I sometimes feel a bit grouchy with her if I feel she’s falling into the “family idolatry” trap that is so pervasive among evangelicals and other Christians…
But I do appreciate that Mefferd thinks Christians should actually expect other self professing believers to walk the Christian walk.

Because when it comes to virginity and sexual purity – though I myself am an ACTUAL virgin past my 40s (since I have not married) – I am now seeing a Christian culture that runs from ‘Laissez-faire’ on sexual ethics to bashing and attacking the concept of virginity and adult virgins themselves. Here are just a link or two (more links at end of this post):

(Link):

No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy

(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming

One of several reasons I am drifting towards agnosticism after having been a devout Christian since youth has to do with this very topic: Christians being hypocrites, especially on these sexual issues.

Here I stayed a virgin into adulthood, trying to stay true to the faith and the Bible’s teachings (that is, I am a LITERAL virgin, not one of those fornicators who calls herself a “born again” or “spiritual” or “secondary” virgin, puh-leaze).

And instead of getting acknowledged for remaining sexually pure into middle age (notice that mothers in churches get carnations, they get recognized, on Mother’s Day, etc, what do virgin, adult women get? Nothing, that’s what, no sermons, no flowers, nothing), nor do I get support (emotional, practical, or financial support) from Christians during my celibate, adult singleness.

I am getting blamed and bashed for being a virgin past 40, or totally ignored (links about this below).

False teachings about celibacy, adult singleness, and sex abound in Christendom these days, even among conservative evangelicals, but not many Christians care or even notice.

Even when I alert other Christians to this information, they do not seem to care.

Evangelical, Reformed, Fundamentalist, and Baptist Christians do NOT esteem virginity or celibacy for anyone who is over 25 years of age but actually attack both concepts. (Keep reading, I explain more below, with links to proof.)

In this audio (see link to audio below), where Janet Mefferd interviews Stanton of Focus on the Family, Stanton disputes some recent findings by some study about divorce rates being higher among Protestant Christians.

(I blogged about that study a few days ago, (Link): here).

In this interview with Mefferd, Stanton says the researchers concluded that one reason for higher divorce rates among Protestant Christians is that Preachers encourage young people to marry early (ie, very young).

Stanton laughed this claim off and said, “I have never heard such a thing, ha ha ha.”

(Link): (Janet Mefferd Show) Hour 2- Glenn Stanton from Focus on the Family discusses divorce rates. AUDIO.

But, the claim is TRUE.

Just about a week ago, this young preacher named Deeter wrote a post encouraging people to marry young, and I wrote this rebuttal:

(Link):

Christian Early Marriage Position Advocates A Low View of Celibacy and Virginity and Adult Singleness – another example: Justin Deeter Blog about Early Marriage

Yes, some preachers and branches of Christianity are most certainly advocating Early Marriage, to the point it has been editorialized about on “Christianity Today,” see:

(Link):

A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial from Christianity Today, excerpts on my blog)

Other Christians, some of whom are authors, have commented on the phenomenon of preachers and churches advocating Early Marriage.
Here are some examples (some of these pages are by me):

(Link):

A Response by (Christian author) Colon to (Christian) Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda

(Link): Marrying Young – from “Stuff Christian Culture Likes,” by Stephanie Drury
– Drury is, if I understand correctly, a former conservative evangelical, a “preacher’s kid,” who is now very liberal in her views of Christianity, but even she picked up on the “Early Marriage” trend among Christians

(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage
(blog post by me, I think not too long after I began noticing the trend)

Even right wing, Non Christians have jumped on the “kids should marry young” band wagon:
(Link): Secular Media Also Pushing Early Marriage

The reason some pastors are advocating Early Marriage is that they see high rates of fornication going on among self professing evangelical youth.

Evangelicals, Reformed, Baptists, and other sorts of Christians, assume if they can get a teen Christian to marry at age 21, that pre marital sex will not be an issue, and that the rates or pre-marital sex among youth can be lowered.

Smalley (Focus on the Family Talking Head) Gives Interview about Talking to Children About Sex on Mefferd Show

Smalley (Focus on the Family Talking Head) Gives Interview about Talking to Children About Sex on Mefferd Show

The interview (given by G. Smalley from Christian group “Focus on the Family”) is rather dull, and Smalley gives rather vague, intellectual-sounding responses, none of which I perceive as being sufficient enough to convince most people to abstain from sex prior to marriage.

One of the first falsehoods I spotted is that both Mefferd and her guest, Smalley, assume these teens they are talking about will get married one day. You know, I had hoped to be married. I assumed as young as age ten, eleven, that I’d be married by 30. I’m still not married and in my forties.

Christian parents need to stop assuming that their kids will get married – because they might be 40, 45, 50, and still be single. So it’s not enough to think in terms of, “Oh golly, how do I convince Joe Jr. to wait until marriage for sex.” -What if Joe Jr. never meets the right woman, what if Joe Jr. grows up and never marries?

Here’s the link to the interview:
(Link): Greg Smalley from ‘Focus on the Family’ on How to Talk to Kids About Sex

The part of the interview (around 12.49 – 13.00) where the guy says to the host (Mefferd) that he tells his kids about how hot his wife is (their mother) was strange.

Smalley was saying he was using this method to model to his children how it’s important to wait ’til marriage to have sex. I’m not sure how emphasizing to your kids, if you are a married parent, how “hot” their mother is can convince them to remain celibate.

I also believe that Smalley’s view on this matter is unwittingly upholding the Christian falsehood that marriage will always entail regular, hot, satisfying sex (see all the posts on this blog of numerous stories of people who were virgins until marriage, but the sex was either lousy or infrequent, or both lousy AND infrequent).

Janet Mefferd Concedes In One Radio Show that Christians “Lose Jesus” in all the “Family Values” Talk and Emphasis / Also FIC and Youth Worship

Janet Mefferd Concedes In One Radio Show that Christians “Lose Jesus” in all the “Family Values” Talk / Also FIC and Youth Worship

—-PART 1. CHRISTIANS TURNING FAMILY INTO IDOL —-

I e-mailed Ms. Mefferd (or is it Mrs?) several months ago to let her know about how terrible Christian culture treats singles; she had a guest on her show who made it sound as though all Christian singles are deliberately staying single, and Mefferd seemed to agree with that view.

I wrote to Mefferd to correct this view point. I was polite. I let her know that many Christian singles desire marriage but are unable to find a Christian partner to marry.

Still others choose not to marry, which is fine too, and it is a choice that should be respected.

The Bible does NOT command people to marry and procreate.

Marriage (and hence baby making) is depicted in the New Testament as being OPTIONAL and left up to each individual. It is not something God commands of people.

I have also noted in worry in past posts on this blog that Mrs. Mefferd (like many social conservative Christians) commits the error of making much ado about “family values,” which not only needlessly excludes singles, the divorced, the widowed, and childless, but which tends to make an idol out of family, something the Bible teaches AGAINST.

The Bible calls believers to full allegiance to Jesus Christ and Christ’s agenda, not to the “nuclear family” (and not to endlessly engaging in culture wars: ranting against liberalism and homosexuality).

Christ nowhere taught that it is the agenda of His followers to rally around and promote the “traditional family.”

Allegiance to Christ is painted in the New Testament as Christians supporting other Christians (who may not be related to them by flesh and blood) emotionally and financially, and secondly, to spreading the Gospel to Non Christians.

The New Testament does not teach Christians to constantly fight with the godless heathen over abortion, homosexual marriage, promoting the nuclear family, and other such topics.

Perhaps Ms. Mefferd caught my e-mail and that is what prompted her to re-evaluate the obsession with Christians defending the Traditional Family, I don’t know.

However I was encouraged to hear in a recent broadcast she stopped to criticize the American evangelical obsession with “family” to say something like, “Jesus gets lost in all the family value rhetoric Christians bandy about.”

And she was angry about it, you could hear it in the tone of her voice. Good for her.

I can’t recall exactly which show it was on, but it was a late Sept 2013 or early October one.

Whatever episode it was, her comments about “Jesus being lost in Christian emphasis on family” begin around the 29 minute or 30.05 mark (I jotted down the time on a piece of paper on my desk).

I think it may have been in this show, but I’m not sure:
(Link): Janet Mefferd Show-10/2/2013 / Janet talks with Peter LaBarbera from Americans for Truth.

-Even if it’s not that show with the particular comments by Mefferd, the guy on the show whom she interviews mentions at the 36.45 mark that fornication is wrong (sex between a man and woman not married).

However he notes it has become incredibly politically incorrect to speak out against fornication these days.

I have noticed this too, even from Christian people on Christian blogs; I have met so-called Christians on Christian sites who think it’s judgmental to point out that pre marital sex is sinful, and they want to erase the word “fornication” from the vernacular, or they make fun of the term as being stody, old fogey, and judgmental.

I hope in the future Ms. Mefferd has her eyes opened to the bigger picture as it concerns this topic, that the evangelical, Christian fundamentalist, and Baptist idolization of marriage and procreation (having babies) goes AGAINST what Jesus taught, and it also marginalizes the never married, the divorced, infertile couples, and widowers and widows.

And when, or if, her eyes are opened, I hope she begins devoting radio programs exposing it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a family, wanting marriage, or with Christians occasionally refuting liberal anti-traditional marriage points – that is all well and good…

However, Christians have taken things to the extreme, to the point if a Christian does not marry and pop out 2.3 children by the time they are 30 years of age (if at all), they are ostracized by most churches.

And Jesus warned against that very thing!

Jesus did not teach that his kingdom was to be built by Christians marrying other Christians and popping out babies.

—-PART 2. YOUTH WORSHIP —-

On another recent show, Mefferd interviewed a FIC church guy (Scott Brown from the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches) who argues against Sunday School. He thinks kids should be included in the main worship service of churches.

Here is a link to that podcast – but I’m not sure if this is the one with the comments where she criticizes family worship:
(Link): Mefferd podcast – Hour 3- Janet discusses youth ministry with Scott Brown from the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches.

I am wary of FIC (Family Integrated Church) people because they idolize the family.

See for instance these posts on this blog:

(Link): A Critique of the Family-Integrated Church Movement by Brian Borgman – Christians turning the family into an idol

(Link): Cloud’s Critique of Family Integrated Churches

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

However, I do agree with the guy in the Mefferd interview that many churches are too keen to win over the youth, and when this mentality takes over a church, that pretty soon, the youth culture spills into the church at large, where even services intended for adults starts reeking of a Metallica, Miley Cyrus, or Justin Bieber concert, with guitars and laser shows, with the preacher wearing a goatee and skinny jeans, all trying to be cool and hip for the kids.

The end result of trying to make church into a rock concert, or trying to make it trendy or “cool,” to attract the teens is that the people over 25 and 30 feel weird, left out, overlooked, and out of place.

So some of these people over ages of 25, 35, 40, stop attending. Sermons become really shallow and flippant and takes a backseat to the entertainment spectacle.

I am glad the FIC guy recognizes that catering to the youth ruins Christianity at large, I just wish FIC people would stop idolizing the family, because not everyone is married with a kid.
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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Youth Fixation in Churches and how it alienates older Christians

(Link): Refreshing: Christian Researcher Disputes that Youths Are Leaving Churches in Droves, Disagrees that Churches Should Be Family Focused

(Link): Getting People Back to Church / Christian Event Targeting ‘Apathetic’ Youth *BARF*

(Link): Ignatius the Ultimate Youth Pastor & Teaching Christian Singles About Sex (humor – but it does a great job criticizing church obsession with youth)

Focus on Family spokesperson, Stanton, actually says reason people should marry is for ‘church growth’

Focus on Family spokesperson, Stanton, actually says reason people should marry is for ‘church growth’

Around the 17 or 18 minute mark of the Mefferd show (see link below), Stanton talks about how married people are more likely to attend church.

That is because churches fixate on married couples and marriage itself, which excludes, hurts, angers, and offends plenty of single adults past the age of 30, so we stop attending church.

Stanton seems to assume that going to church is what leads to an increase in marriage, or causes people to marry in the first place, but it has the reverse effect: church services make singles stop attending, who then have to resort to using e-Harmony to meet dates (when they should be able to meet mates at church).

If churches want to increase their numbers, they need to attract and keep never-married, widowed, and divorced adults over age 30, which means, churches need to stop being so obsessed with marriage and need to offer more sermons and services geared towards single adults.

Stanton then actually tells the host, Mefferd, that to increase church growth/ attendance, that Christians should encourage young people to marry and settle down as a “church growth strategy.”

The Bible alludes to the purpose of marriage being to get one’s sexual needs met as well as for companionship, but I cannot recall any passages that talk about God wanting people to get married to increase the members of local churches.

(The link to the show is below so you can hear it for yourself, his comment is around the 17 or 18 minute mark).

Where does the Bible teach that church growth should come from telling young people to get married? It does not.

The Bible actually says you are supposed to grow the church by telling Non Christians about the Gospel.

‘Church growth by marriage’ sounds like rank heresy to me, it’s at least NOT biblical teaching.

(Link): Janet Mefferd Show-9/23/2013 / Janet talks with Glenn Stanton from Focus on the Family

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Related posts this blog

(Link): Good Grief! Five Million Dollar Family Idoltary on Display: Focus on the Family Launches $5 Million Project Targeting Family Breakdown, Social Ills – Please, when you say you support marriage, be honest about what you REALLY mean

(Link): Religion Runs in the Family (article – kid obsession more evidence of Christian Family Idolatry)

(Link): Focusing on the Family Causes Church Decline

(Link): Focus on the Family advice columnist perpetuates stereotypes about single women

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

(Link): Are Fundamentalists Aiming to Out-Breed Secular America?

(Link): Misapplication of Biblical Verses About Fertility (also mentions early marriage) – a paper by J. McKeown

(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

(Link): Cultural Discrimination Against Childless and Childfree Women – and link to an editorial by a Childless Woman

(Link): Bay-Bees – Have them, have lots of them and NOW, no matter what say some Christians

(Link): Focus on the Family having financial problems – aw, too bad (not!)

(Link): Christians and Churches Discriminate Against Unmarried People / Singles

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

Dr. Miriam Grossman discusses the history of sex ed in schools. (radio show)

Dr. Miriam Grossman discusses the history of sex ed in schools

About the half way mark of the audio, Mefferd mentions that in today’s sleazy, easy, sex culture, the only thing considered sexually abnormal is being a virgin until you are married – I agree with her on that.

I have met a very small number of Non Christians (who I became friends with) who are honestly respectful of the fact I am a virgin into my 40s due to personal convictions, but by and large, most people, Christian and Non, act like 40- year- old- virgins are weird, losers, freaks, abnormal, or losers.

Even churches, preachers, and other Christians do not generally support virginity in older Christians/ Non Christians. They too will act like you are a weirdo freak, they act like God approves only of marriage, sex, and reproducing.

Online radio show where you can hear Mefferd’s comments:
(Link): Hour 1- Dr. Miriam Grossman discusses the history of sex ed in schools.
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Related posts, this blog

(Link): NOTICE and WARNING: On Vulgar Language at This Blog

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): On the Janet Mefferd Radio Show: Still Too Much Concern About ‘Family’

(Link): Dude Arguing for Legalization of Prostitution Uses Same Rationale as Christians Concerning Celibacy and Sexual Purity

(Link): Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre Martial Sex (radio show)

Dude Arguing for Legalization of Prostitution Uses Same Rationale as Christians Concerning Celibacy and Sexual Purity

Dude Arguing for Legalization of Prostitution Uses Same Rationale as Christians Concerning Celibacy

LOL. Ironic. On (Link): the Janet Mefferd Show-7/11/2013, she quotes some (Non Christian?) guy who says he wants prostitution legalized. His basis for this is in part because everywhere people go through out their day, they see sexy sexified sexually alluring sexy images, on billboards, in magazines, and on television.

He feels this creates an expectation in people, and they have a right to get that expectation met via sex, and from prostitution, if they don’t have a spouse. He feels it is unrealistic or mean to expect people to control their urges, or to ask them to deny their sexual urges.

Radio host Mefferd, who is a Christian, mocked this guy for all this, and she mocked the plight of the hypothetical guy the pro-prostitution guy was using – that is, a guy who is single, sexually frustrated, and lonely.

Understand I’m not a fan of prostitution, but I do think Mefferd needs to be a bit more sympathetic to the struggles older singles face.

It’s not loving or compassionate to mock and ridicule the fact that a lot of singles are lonely and want to have sex, but have nobody to have sex with, or nobody to share their life with.

Mefferd happens to be married by the way, with two or three kids, so I would assume she is not lonely and is getting her sexual needs met. It’s oh so easy for married people such as her, who are in what I would assume, is a relatively healthy marriage, to mock singles or their plight.

Anyway, the funniest, or saddest, thing about this Non-Christian’s guy’s rationale for the legalization of prostitution is the very same one preachers and Christian dating advice writers give for why celibacy and virginity among adults is unrealistic, or
2. for the defeatist attitude among even conservative Christians these days, that
a. since anyone and everyone is fornicating, or
b. that since nobody can resist sexual urges and will eventually fornicate,
we might as well teach an, “Oh well, so you fell down and blew it sexually, God forgives sexual sin, just call yourself a “born again virgin” now, and all is well” philosophy.

Non-Christian- prostitution- supporter guy, who Mefferd was mocking on her program, was only saying the same exact thing Christian preachers, Christian TV personalities, and Christian bloggers have been saying the last few decades: nobody can expect anyone to withstand sexual temptation, so we might as well [insert solution here for each respective party] and we should give up on the idea of sexual purity, celibacy, and virginity.

Hell, self- professing Christians nowadays, such as “emergents,” the liberals, and apparently popular Christian blogger Rachel Held Evans, have apparently given up on Christian teachings and standards of sexual purity,
1. deeming Christian sexual purity teachings too hurtful to the feelings of women who may have been molested when they were three years old by Uncle Fred; or
2. are considered too hurtful or shaming by women who diddled their college sweetie 25 years ago; or,
3. such teachings on purity should be abandoned because society tends to be more forgiving of males that diddle than they are of females.

Nobody, not even most Christians, believes in celibacy or virginity anymore.

Conservative Christians, emergent Christians, liberal Christians, and Non Christians only come up with different solutions or approaches to sex, or how to deal with the aftermath of sex (e.g., unplanned pregnancy, men who won’t commit to marriage, etc).

I don’t see anyone saying, “Hey you, with the burning groin o’ lust: I know you want to have sex, but that doesn’t mean you have to cave in and do it.”

Your dippy, simplistic Southern Baptists such as Al Mohler, or Christian think tanks and groups, such as Focus on the Family, and other blockhead conservatives would say, “Just get married if you want to have sex!”

Yeah, dumb ass, and how do singles who want marriage go about doing that? Can single women order a groom off a shopping site online? No, they can’t. Getting a spouse is not easy. Singles cannot snap their fingers and make a spouse appear. Even going to social functions or joining a dating site does not guarantee a date, let alone a spouse.

So, pro-prostitution guy’s position concerning sex is not any different from most Christians I see these days: there is no expectation that people can stay virgins past age 25-30 or stay celibate.

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Famous Historical Christian Figure Expects Everyone To Fail At Sexual Purity

(Link): Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – Easy Forgivism

(Link): Emergent Christian Guy Says Christians Need to “Celebrate Pre Marital Sex” (Fornication)

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

Ministry to Homosexuals, Exodus Int’l, Closes Shop, Some Christians Spaz out

Ministry to Homosexuals, Exodus International, Closes Shop, Some Christians Spaz out

A segment of American Christendom is spazzing out and pearl clutching over the demise of Exodus International (ministry to homosexuals). See links:

(Link): Hour 3- Former Exodus International board member John Warren talks about the closing of the organization. – Janet Mefferd radio show

(Link): Exodus International to Shut Down; Ministry President Apologizes to Gay Community

Mmm hmm. Spazzy spaz, hissy fit. The anger. The outrage. Boo, hiss. The homosexuals are winning the culture wars, oh no, oh no. Indignation. Etc and so forth.

On her radio program (linked to above), Mefferd depicts the Exod. Int. closure as being another blow in the apporaching defeat of traditional marriage and links that to an attack on God’s character, because, as she says, we are created in God’s image, male and female… I’m not quite seeing how all that fits together myself.

I will say if Ms. Mefferd means to suggest that maleness and femaleness can be reflected only within marriage, and only married couples can represent God in all his fullness, wrong wrong wrong wrong! What of Christians in their 40s and older, people who have never married?

The Bible does not say never-married, virginal Christians are not sexual beings, or that they do not reflect God as-is. (Some Christians really do teach that un-married Christians are not fully in God’s image, see this link and see this other link)

And for the millionth time, to avoid any confusion for anyone who is new to this blog who may be reading this: I do not support homosexuality. I am right wing and am a social conservative, but I am sick and tired of how some Christians make homosexuality (and abortion and a few other issues) into their hobby horses.

If you check out The Christian Post and a few other Christian publications today, there are yet more headlines on the home pages, not only about Exodus Int., but other topics pertaining to homosexuality (such as: “Five Questions and Answers About the Same-Sex Marriage Issue By Jim Daly” and “Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski Declares Support for Gay Marriage”), as well as the other pet favorite subject Christians like to harp on, abortion / reproductive issues (on The Christian Post today, on the home page: “Celebrated Christian Artist Launches ‘Before I Formed You’ Pro-Life Campaign,” and “The Government, the Pill, and Our Daughters By John Stonestreet”).

The only thing missing from today’s headlines on Christian news sites are the standard, panicked reports of, “Oh golly no, 20-somethings are leaving church because church is not lovey or pro- homosexual enough for them, and churches still reject Darwinism, they don’t think Creationism is science-y enough, and teens don’t go any more because church is not hip and trendy enough, what will the church ever do, oh me, oh my.”

That mainstream Christian media continue to pound away at homosexuality, abortion, and contraceptives, while about completely ignoring the absolute torrent, the avalanche of never-married Christian singles past 30, in particular hetero women, who want to be married (and some may want to have a kid or two of their own), but marriage is not happening for them (due in part to a Christian man shortage).

Do these Christians who bray, cry, gripe, and moan about homosexuals taking swipes at “traditional marriage,” or about teeny girls getting pregnant, or teens using birth control, not care that they could be helping traditional marriage rates (and maybe birth rates) increase, if they would direct their energies and attention to Christian women who do want to get married and maybe have a kid?

Instead of spending all your time complaining about homosexuals who want to get married, or that the government may allow teen girls access to “morning after” pills, or that Joe Cool College Kid thinks youth groups at church are boring or stupid for not accepting Darwinism, try taking steps to help post-age-30 Christian single ladies get married, hello.