Hypocrisy Alert: (Anti Virginity Proponent) Russell Moore to Pastors: Don’t Do Wedding Ceremonies for Couples Living in Sin

Hypocrisy Alert: (Anti Virginity Proponent) Russell Moore to Pastors: Don’t Do Wedding Ceremonies for Couples Living in Sin

This is the same Moore who (Link): attacks and ridicules adult Christian virgins for being virgins until marriage.

 So this doofus  has a hella lot of nerve lecturing Christian preachers about not performing Christians who are living in sexual sin.

Moore: you do not honor Christian adults who are Virgins who are waiting ’til marriage to have sex, (which is a very basic Christian sexual ethic), so how do you square away bad-mouthing and shaming Christian couples who may be “shacking up?”

You actually have, in the past, criticized and shamed singles who are living sexually pure life styles. You are being absolutely hypocritical here:

(Link): Russell Moore to Pastors: Don’t Do Wedding Ceremonies for Couples Living in Sin by S. Smith

Excerpts:

  • Leading Southern Baptist ethicist Russell Moore is encouraging pastors not to perform wedding ceremonies for couples who are not Christians and those who are living in sin simply because members of their families belong to their church or their congregation is pressuring them to do so.
  • Moore, who is the president of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, spoke at a conference on “The Church and Sexuality” that was held at the First Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama, by the state’s Baptist and Southern Baptist leaders on Monday.
  • (Link): Alabama.com reports that Moore told the crowd of about 500 people that pastors cannot hold non believers and those already living in sin accountable to their wedding vows if they are already not living their lives by God’s design.
  • “You cannot marry anyone except believers and people under the authority of Jesus Christ,” Moore explained. “Unbelievers, you cannot hold accountable to their vows.”

Continue reading “Hypocrisy Alert: (Anti Virginity Proponent) Russell Moore to Pastors: Don’t Do Wedding Ceremonies for Couples Living in Sin”

A Book Called “Prude” That Uses the Term “Neo Virgin”

A Book Called “Prude” That Uses the Term “Neo Virgin”

An author by the name of Carrie Lloyd was on Christian TV program The 700 Club today. She wrote a book called “Prude” about her choice to remain celibate after having been very sexually active while in her 20s. I think she also used the term “Neo Virgin” on the show and maybe in her book.

I have not read her book, I only saw her interview on the show today.

She was raised in a Christian household, but later drifted away from the Christian faith and then came back to the faith later.

I support her choice to remain celibate until marriage. I don’t have a problem there. However, I have to admit to not being fond of terms such as “Neo Virgin.”

Either you are a virgin or you are not one. I’m over 40 years of age and have never had sexual intercourse, not even with my ex fiance, because I was wanting to wait until marriage to have sex.

I find terms such as “Neo Virgin” or other Christian phrases such as “Born Again Virgin” or “Spiritual Virgin” to be a little demeaning to actual, honest to God virgins such as myself. Such terms dilute the real meaning of, or state of being, a virgin.

I also find it ironic that Christian culture continues to uphold fornicators as experts in how to resist sexual temptation or how to go about sexual purity and celibacy, rather than publish books by honest- to- God virgins who are past the age of 30 or older who are still maintaining their virginity.

Here is a link to a page that discusses Ms. Lloyd’s story and book:

(Link): Making Healthy Relationship Choices in an Unhealthy World

Excerpts:

  • ….Growing up, Carrie was teased about her stance on abstinence.  By the time she entered high school, she was infamous with the boys at the neighboring school as one of the last remaining virgins.  Once her photo was pinned to the school notice board.  She was the target to see which boy could get her to lose her virginity.  Her peers didn’t feel the same way she did.  “No one wanted to save it for one person,” says Carrie.  “This subtle prejudice toward my choices made me more determined to hold out.”
  • …. Meanwhile, women were fighting for someone to love them.  “I call this the curse of Eve,” says Carrie.  The curse says, “Everything will be redeemed once I have found my husband,” and that a woman will be happier having found her purpose.
  • THE DECADENT DAYS
  • Carrie was 18 when her father underwent a serious heart operation so severe it almost killed him and left him with some brain damage.  In his effort to deal with his pain, Carrie’s dad began to drink.  “Seeing my preacher papa enter into substance abuse caused me to question everything he taught,” says Carrie.  “What happened to relying on God?”
  • When she was 23, Carrie’s dad passed away.  One night Carried decided to walk away from God.  She was mad at God and men and started on the path of hurting others.  Several years later, Carrie had several physical relationships and reached the lowest point of her life since her father died.  She prayed to God and heard an inaudible voice that said, I’ve been here all along.  Carrie realized that God had never left her.

According to the rest of the article, and from what I remember from the TV interview, when she decided at some stage in her late 20s (or her 30s?) to remain abstinent, some of the men she dated broke up with her. One guy did stay with her for two years and respected her “no sex until I marry” belief, but the relationship ended, though not due to the celibate aspect.

Here is a page about her book:

(Link):  Prude: Misconceptions Of A Neo-Virgin

  • Overview
  • “SEX. LOVE. VIRGINITY? In the dating game, the V-word has become as strange and complicated as the L-word, with purity as outdated as pay phones.
  • What is an ex-athiest, post-porn addict, unorthodox Christian girl to do these days?
  • How can she create boundaries without scaring off every available guy? Is purity even possible without being puritanical? In this candid, humorous account of the true-life trials of Christian dating, the author shares the wisdom she’s gleaned in her quest for love in a modern world.
  • She guides with grace and honesty through the often hush-hush topics of sex, porn, shame, female competition, misconceptions about purity, and those dreaded “waiting till marriage: conversations.

————————–

Related Posts:

(Link):  Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker

 (Link):   Why are young feminists so clueless about sex? by M. Wente

(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity

(Link): Celebrity Deems Herself A Born Again Virgin And Vows to Stay Celibate “For A Year” – Oh Puh-leaze

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

(Link):  How About Using Celibates as Role Models For Celibacy? (Oddity: Christians Holding Up Non-Virgins [Fornicators] As Being Experts or Positive Examples on Sexual Purity)

(Link):  She’s Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex. Here’s Her Response to Those ‘Inevitable Jerks’ Who Think Her Decision Is ‘Stupid’ – by E. Kahn

(Link):  Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example

(Link):  When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it (New Study Says Conservatives Have Better Self Control Than Liberals)

(Link):  Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy”

(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States (2014)

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link):  Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link):  No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link): Secular, Left Wing Feminist Writer Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30

(Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)

(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)

(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)

(Link): Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

(Link): Celebrities who waited until marriage to have sex (list 2)

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic

(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality

(Link): Asexuality and Asexuals

(Link):  Meagan Good Tells Single Women Why They Should Stop Having Sex

(Link):  Preacher: ‘They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Hot SEX Lives’ – and once more, never-married celibate adults and their experiences, wisdom, and input are ignored

(Link):  Want To Grow Your Church? Advertise Sex (Story via A Little Leaven Blog)

(Link):  The Decisive Marriage – Study Says Couples Who Don’t Have Pre-Marital Sex, or Not Much or Not Many Sexual Partners Pre-Marriage, Have Better Quality or Longer Lasting Marriages

(Link): Weak Argument Against Celibacy / Virginity / Sexual Purity by the Anti Sexual Purity Gestapo – Sexual Compatibility or Incompatibility – (i.e., Taking Human Beings For Test Spins – Humans As Sexual Commodities) (Part 2)

(Link):   Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister

(Link):  The Myth of Safe Sex by D. Foley

Christian Radio Host Busted for Slapping Woman’s ‘Butt Cheek’ Inside Target Restroom – And How This Conflicts With Preacher Doug Wilson’s Propriety of Rape Commentary

Christian Radio Host Busted for Slapping Woman’s ‘Butt Cheek’ Inside Target Restroom – And How This Conflicts With Preacher Doug Wilson’s Propriety of Rape Commentary

First, here is a link to the news story with some excerpts, followed by some observations by me:

(Link): Christian Radio Host Busted for Slapping Woman’s ‘Butt Cheek’ Inside Target Restroom by B P Markus 

Excerpts:

  • Feb 17, 2016
  • A  customer, (Link): The Blade reports.
  • Mark Wayne Howington, 52, was arrested Thursday and charged with assault after a woman said she entered the restroom in the Ohio Target store and had it pulled open by Howington. As he passed her, he allegedly “slapped her butt cheek really hard,” according to a police report obtained by The Blade.
  • The woman, Debra Piechowski, told ABC13 she was at a Target store with her niece in Toledo looking for a birthday and Valentine’s Day gift for her husband.
  • Howington co-hosts a morning show on (Link): Proclaim FM, a Christian radio station.
  • She went to security but the man who slapped her left really quickly.

Before I tie this in with pastor Doug Wilson (much farther below), I wanted to reiterate a few points I normally make about such stories when I post them.

I don’t know if this Howington guy is married or not, or a father. If he is either one or both, I can tell you this is another example of how being married or a parent are not indicators of maturity or godliness, as many Christians say they are. Nor is being married a guarantee a man is not going to pull sexual shenanigans on people who aren’t his wife.

Married people also sexually sin at times. Sexual sin is not the lone province of single adults.

Not only am I, a never married adult not having sex (I have chosen to stay celibate so far into my life), but I don’t go around doing things like slapping other people on their butts.

Continue reading “Christian Radio Host Busted for Slapping Woman’s ‘Butt Cheek’ Inside Target Restroom – And How This Conflicts With Preacher Doug Wilson’s Propriety of Rape Commentary”

Family Values, Conservative Christian Bill Gothard Accused Of Rape

Family Values, Conservative Christian Bill Gothard Accused Of Rape

I have written about Gothard once before, and I’m reminding you of that post now:

In the days or weeks to come, you can probably expect more of the same. Gothard is currently in his 80s, I believe, and he’s never married, and has indicated before that he is celibate.

Ergo, a lot of people, even some Christians sadly enough, tend to blame Gothard’s alleged sexual assaults of women on him being celibate. They seem to think if you live without sex for so many years, it comes gushing out beyond your control later – you get so horny, they seem to think, they you sexually attack another person.

A lot of people do this sort of odd ball reasoning in the case of  Roman Catholic priests who take a vow of celibacy but who get caught molesting children: people assume that being celibate causes pedophilia and rape.

Celibacy, however, does not cause pedophilia and rape.  Married men who have sex with their wives on a regular basis also rape people or molest kids (I’ve done a post or two about that topic before in the past).

Or, these types of Christians and Non-Christians somehow suspect that any adult who claims to be celibate is secretly a horn dog and must be getting lots of nooky anywhere, but especially salacious nooky, by raping people or fondling kids.

Celibates are not perverts, folks: we celibates are NOT having any sex at all, salacious or consensual. That’s the whole point about celibacy, you ding bats who accuse celibacy of causing rape and pedophilia.

While I myself don’t agree with some views of secular, left wing feminists, I note that they are not the monsters that many “family values” Christians make them out to be.

Right wing, American Christians will often fault the American feminists of the 1960s sexual revolution of causing all manner of problems in society (such as the rise of divorce rates, promiscuity, etc),
and maybe to a degree, secular feminism played some role in those sorts of things,
but how then do these Christians and conservatives explain the other “family values” Christians who are opposed to secular, left wing feminism, such as Gothard, who allegedly rape or molest girls, or who have affairs on their wives (for the men who are married)?

Again, I am not saying I am in total agreement with all opinions of secular, liberal feminists, but am merely saying that you cannot fairly and justly blame secular, liberal feminism for the moral failings and crimes of right wing, Christian men such as Gothard.

Anyway, Gothard is in the news again, this time for supposedly raping people.

Here is a selection of links about that news story, along with a link to a site that specializes in Gothard news coverage, and articles that highlight or refute his damaging teachings:

(Link): Recovering Grace: A Gothard Generation Shines Light on the Teachings of IBLP and ATI 

(This site, Recovering Grace, tends to keep up with the latest Gothard news and information, so you may want to bookmark them and visit them regularly if you are really interested in the latest Gothard- related developments.
I don’t plan on doing regular Gothard updates on my own blog, or not over every little thing concerning him.)

(Link): Bill Gothard, Christian counseling ministry leader with ties to TLC’s Duggar family, target of sexual assault lawsuit by 10 women

  • by Laura Bult
  • January 7, 2016
  • Ten women filed a bombshell lawsuit Wednesday alleging decades of sexual assault and rape by the longtime leader of Christian homeschooling ministry, Bill Gothard, who preaches modesty among women and has ties to Republican politicians and the reality TV Duggar family.
  • The lawsuit is the latest development after numerous women who sought counseling at Gothard’s Institute of Basic Life Principles, a prominent religious homeschooling ministry, came forward accusing the magnetic leader of sexual abuse, some of whom were minors at the time
  • The 81-year-old unmarried former president of the IBLP resigned from the ministry in 2014 after more than 30 women said they had been molested by him, according to the (Link): Washington Post, which first reported the story.
  • The lawsuit filed in an Illinois circuit court includes allegations that range from sexual harassment,  inappropriate touching and hand-holding, molestation and rape, according to the complaint provided to the Daily News by the lawyers representing the women at the Texas Gibbs Law Firm.

Continue reading “Family Values, Conservative Christian Bill Gothard Accused Of Rape”

Various Editorials Defending Tim Tebow’s Celibacy – Because Some Secular Media Are Ridiculing It

Various Editorials Defending Tim Tebow’s Celibacy – Because Some Secular Media Are Ridiculing It

(Link):   Tebow’s Choice to Stay Chaste – He sets a rare, refreshing example in an overly sexualized culture

Excerpts:

  •  by Elisa Cipollone
  • … Tebow is fascinating to people partly because the culture cannot accept the fact that a professional athlete does not indulge in a wild, partying lifestyle, or at least a sexually active one.
  • It’s almost as if the public (and particularly the media) don’t believe that people who believe in God and actively, honestly live out their faith even exist anymore.
  • The Rev. Michael Sliney, a Catholic priest and the New York chaplain of the Lumen Institute, an association of business and cultural leaderssaid, “I deeply admire Tim Tebow for persevering in this noble ideal — a true witness of self-mastery and respect for the sacredness of the sexual act.”
  • It’s an interesting point, particularly when it comes to respect. And despite what either side of this argument believes, shouldn’t Tebow have the right to make his own decisions when it comes to what he feels is respecting himself and others?
  • …. There are multiple viable reasons people, religious or not, choose to remain chaste until marriage. Tebow should not be publicly ridiculed for his decision to do so, and his example is rare but refreshing in an overly sexualized culture.

(Link):  Leave Tim Tebow Alone

(Link):   Tim Tebow Dumped by Fmr. Miss Universe Olivia Culpo Over Sex?

(Link):  Sports media mocks Tim Tebow over abstinence pledge

Excerpts:

  • by D. Gwinn
  • So long story short, it’s a report that should have come as no surprise since Tebow has (Link): already had one relationship end because of his moral stand and maybe, just maybe, God-forbid engender some sense of begrudging respect from the media elite for at least having the courage of his convictions, has instead triggered a few juvenile headlines and one-liners from a legion of sports reporters who would never be allowed in the same room as a Miss USA, current or former. Unless they bought a ticket.

Continue reading “Various Editorials Defending Tim Tebow’s Celibacy – Because Some Secular Media Are Ridiculing It”

Pastor Saeed Abedini’s Wife Halts Public Advocacy, Citing Marital Woes and Abuse -article says her husband is a Porn Addict

Pastor Saeed Abedini’s Wife Halts Public Advocacy, Citing Marital Woes and Abuse -article says her husband is a Porn Addict

Before I get to the link to the news story itself – about jailed pastor Saeed being a porn user who abused his wife, I wanted to comment about the story first (I also have comments below the news page excerpt below).

So much for the Christian teachings about “being equally yoked,” which is generally understood to mean a Christian person can only marry another Christian.

While it’s true that a lot of Non-Christians are scum balls who would make poor spouses, I have so far not seen any evidence that so-called Christian men are any more trustworthy, loving, or mature than your average atheist guy, Hindu, Jewish guy, or whomever.

I actually tweeted in support of this guy a few times several months back… but he was abusing his wife, and she says he has a porn addiction problem – I didn’t know this until a couple of days ago, when I saw this article.

I also want to remind you of another point I touch on often on this blog: Contrary to what some conservative Christians teach on how to go about getting married, you do NOT have to be perfect, clean  yourself up, or change yourself in some fashion to “earn” a spouse.

Continue reading “Pastor Saeed Abedini’s Wife Halts Public Advocacy, Citing Marital Woes and Abuse -article says her husband is a Porn Addict”

Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis Preacher Doug Wilson

Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis  Preacher Doug Wilson

I have blogged on this subject before, or something very similar to it, the weird and worn preoccupation with Christian men with women’s looks and sexuality. Of course, Non Christian men can be just as bad about this and sometimes are.

One of the reasons I am writing this blog post is due to this recent post at Christianity Today:

-But more on that specific post farther below.

There was recently a story in the media about two or three weeks ago about a woman on a site, Linked In, which is a site for professionals to network. This woman received a response from a much-older man on that site who told her how attractive she was in her Linked In site photo.

When this woman wrote him back and told him how sexist and inappropriate his message was, and this story somehow made its way into the public eye, this woman started getting screamed at and criticized by other parties online.

Her story resulted in editorials such as this:

(Link): LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site (from August or Sept 2015)

  • The case against your dad’s favorite social-media platform being used to “connect” with younger women

The reason I have a difficult time taking articles like the following seriously…

Is precisely because of stuff like this is still taking place:

(Link): LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site

  • The case against your dad’s favorite social-media platform being used to “connect” with younger women

If we were REALLY living in a society where men were terrified of being accused of sexual harassment by women (especially in the workplace), would we still find men using professional work sites such as Linked In to tell women they don’t even know how gosh-durn sexy – purty they are? No, I think not.

Men are still acting in a sexist and inappropriate fashion towards women, even on professional job-based web sites. Ergo, men cannot be all that afraid of being smacked with sexual harassment labels or lawsuits as the other article is claiming.

That article once more:

Excerpt from that page:

  • Tellingly, Elsesse [female author] adds that companies themselves are contributing to this mess, as they are now so terrified of legal action they send staff on sexual harassment training courses, and are duty-bound to follow up on any allegation, however minor.Ludicrously, Elsesser cites examples of men who have been dragged in by their HR departments for simply opening a door for a female colleague or complimenting her on a new suit. “Stories like these spread around workplaces, instilling a fear that innocent remarks will be misinterpreted,” she says.

Why would a male co-worker find it necessary to tell a female co-worker that her suit is snazzy? Why not instead tell her what a killer job she did on Tuesday’s staff meeting presentation?

You know, praise the woman’s brains, skills, accomplishments or job performance – instead of her appearance?

I am not a left winger, nor am I a secular feminist. I am right wing.

Any time a woman complains about getting a comment about her physical appearance from a man, even if it is a positive comment, my fellow right wingers will howl in protest. They cannot fathom how or why any woman would find getting compliments on her looks to be derogatory, demeaning, unwanted, or annoying.

You are thought to be overly sensitive, or a woman’s studies major who never shaves her arm pits, or a bra-burning, man hating harpy, if you object to a man telling you in any way, shape or form, that you are pretty or sexy.

My fellow right wingers chalk up any female dissent on receiving compliments on looks from a man as being from a left wing, frothing at the mouth, man-hating feminist.

Reminder: I am a right winger who disagrees with secular left wing feminists over 90% (or more) of the time on 90-95% of topics, but on this one, they are totally correct: as a socially conservative, right wing woman, I find it insulting when men call attention to my looks – even in a personal capacity, let alone a professional one.

I don’t like guys on the internet telling me I am hot, sexy, or pretty (which they have done on sites where I have used photos of myself and my real name, and this is not even on dating sites), nor do I enjoy men I don’t know in stores or streets cat-calling me or making comments about my appearance.

Hell, I grew to resent my ex fiance’s continual ‘You are so beautiful’ comment to be tiresome. I asked him several times to stop commenting on my looks, and that if he wanted to praise me, to do so based on some other quality, like my achievements at my job, my sense of humor – anything but my looks.

But the moron would never do it. It made me feel as though he only valued me for my looks, not my personality or anything else I brought to the table (well, he did love my bank account).

In my particular case, I was an ugly duckling as a kid -by some people’s standards- when I was a pre-teen. I was picked on.

I eventually slimmed down, got contact lenses, started wearing mascara, and boom, the male gender suddenly changed their minds about me. I really don’t like being judged or valued primarily or solely upon my physical appearance, but this has happened repeatedly from my teen years into my adult years.

Men don’t get this, they do not comprehend it. They don’t seem to care to know what it feels like to be accepted or rejected based on their looks alone (or primarily), yet this happens to women from the time we are girls and only grows worse as we get to our pre-teen and teen years and older.

It’s very frustrating and dehumanizing to be evaluated only on your physical appearance. Not to have people notice your intellect, your wit, your talents, your skills, to be appreciated for YOU, for who you are, not for what you look like.

One of the things I find annoying about the usual right wing, anti-feminist come-back to women who object to receiving comments from men about their looks is that such women should chill out and learn to appreciate a compliment.

One of the objections I have to that position: it assumes I need or want male validation and at that, for my appearance, and in a job setting.

However, I do not need or want a man’s validation about my physical appearance, especially not in a work-related context.

Continue reading “Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis Preacher Doug Wilson”

Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient / Unanswered Prayer / Christians should just sometimes admit They Do Not Know

Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient

Gordon Robertson is Pat Robertson’s son. He sometimes hosts “The 700 Club” program, or its partner program, “700 Club Interactive.”

I usually find Gordon to be more sensitive than his father when answering viewer questions, but I was sort of rubbed the wrong way today by some advice he gave to a cancer patient.

A cancer patient wrote to “The 700 Club Interactive” show to say he has bone cancer.

He says in spite of the fact he has prayed numerous times for a healing and has confessed every known sin of his to God, his doctor has told him there is no change with his medical condition. This guy wanted to know what he was doing wrong, how could he get God to heal him.

Gordon told the guy he was looking at it the wrong way.

Gordon told him he needed to stop thinking in terms of unconfessed sin, because under Christ, all his sins, even future ones not yet committed, are already forgiven.

Not that I am totally put off by that answer, and I can see how to a point it might be true, but yet – the Bible still has verses (in the New Testament) that say things like you have to confess your sins to others, if you are holding grudges or unforgiveness against others, God will not answer your prayers.

There is some kind of tension going on in the New Testament (and maybe the rest of the Bible) on several topics, this being one of them.

On the one hand, the Bible does say, yes, you are forgiven of all your sins when you come to Christ, yet, there are still verses that say you won’t get your petitions to God answered in your favor if you don’t do X, Y, or Z.

So I’m not sure if the Bible teaches wholly one way or another in this matter.

But what sort of bugged me is that Gordon was not acknowledging or getting to the heart of the problem.

First of all, Gordon was somewhat victim-blaming. He was putting the onus on the guy by telling the guy to put the onus on God.

He was telling the guy, essentially, that he has stinking thinking and needs to change how he views this whole topic of prayer and unconfessed sin.

Secondly, Gordon’s response did not wrestle with the “No” of God. 

This is a subject I have discussed on my blog only two or three times before. It’s not one I write about a lot, but it does bother me.

Continue reading “Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient / Unanswered Prayer / Christians should just sometimes admit They Do Not Know”

Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman

Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman

How many ways can Christians, many of whom claim to support traditional marriage, manage to undermine and make a mockery of it? Here’s one more way.

(Maybe I should come up with some kind of Bingo card for this.)

Doug Wilson, who is a preacher of his own church (Christ Church), married a known pedophile, Steven Sitler, to a young lady named Katie Travis. (This is the (Link): same Doug Wilson who believes that celibacy is impossible for adults.)

A news story was published a few days ago which explains that Sitler and Sitler’s wife, Katie, had a baby boy together, and Sitler apparently (if I am understanding the article correctly) sexually abused his own biological infant son.

Here is one link about that:

(Link):  Idaho sex offender allowed to return home with child

Excerpt:

  • September 2015
  • By Samantha Malott
    Moscow-Pullman Daily News
  • MOSCOW, Idaho — A Latah County 2nd District Court judge ordered Tuesday that a convicted sex offender, Steven Sitler, must continue to have an approved chaperone present, within his direct line of sight, at all times he is around his infant child in the wake of new disclosures of “contact resulting in actual sexual stimulation.”

The Free Jinger forum has some background information on all this:

And (more background):

Said Annie B Good in that thread:

  • What gets me is that he [Douglas Wilson] married this desperate girl [Katie Travis], who felt she was an old maid at 23, he’s barred from contact with children, and yet he [Sitler] may be going to father children with a woman he’s not attracted to. Just a total mess. Christ Church should be ashamed of the behavior of their so called leaders.

Continue reading “Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman”

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

To be consistent, shouldn’t Challies’ wife’s blog post about adultery contain the line, “We’re all adulterers now, even if we’ve been faithful spouses”?, especially if she cares to match husband Tim’s previous “We’re all fornicators now, even if we’re virgins” post?

——-

I saw this blog post via Defend the Sheep’s Twitter today, and I find it oh so interesting for reasons I shall explain farther below:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men – From Challies blog

The above comes from Tim Challies’ blog, and was purportedly written by his wife, Aileen. I would assume that Mr. Challies is fine with his wife’s editorial and even agrees with it, since it is hosted on his blog.

Before I explain why I find this amusing and forehead smacking worthy, here are some excerpts from the blog – which pertains to all the recent news stories of well known (and even not that well known) Christian married men who have been caught having extra-marital affairs:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men 

Excerpts:

  • Aug 31, 2015, by Aileen
  • …Why do so many men, and even so many Christian men, have such weakness when it comes to sexual sin? But even then I still had hope, hope in the truth of the gospel, hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • In the years since, I have listened to more stories of more Christian men falling, wept with more women, and prayed a whole lot.
  • …I have counseled single young women to pursue purity. …I had hope.
  • ..Then came Ashley Madison and the suggestion that hundreds of pastors would have to resign after being caught with accounts on this website that glorifies adultery. And it’s not just pastors—hundreds of other Christian men, both single and married, have been caught up in the scandal. Now there are more broken homes
  • I have fought to understand the struggle men face. I have fought to have compassion. I have encouraged wives to extend forgiveness, to willingly and joyfully give themselves to their husbands.
  • But you know what? I just don’t know how I can keep doing it. Not when so many husbands are deceptively defiling the marriage bed. Not when so many young, single men are recklessly defiling the future marriage bed. Not when so many men seem just plain unwilling to change.

Aileen then spends the next few paragraphs scolding and shaming Christian men about their sexual sin. Seriously. She even interjects a few Bible verses here and there. She has several statements directed at Christian men starting with the phrase “You should” or “You are supposed to…”

She continues:

  • You know that the Holy Spirit equips you to succeed. God has given you everything you need in the gospel. So why do you keep failing? The only conclusion I can come to is that you are so consumed with self-gratification that you are not willing to fight, and I mean really willing to fight, this sin. If it’s not that you can’t, it must be that you won’t.

Contrast this shaming and scolding of Christian men, and her point that men can practice sexual self control, with a post by her husband Tim Challies, where he seems to think that sexual sin among unmarried men (and women) is inevitable, singles lack sexual self control, and he actually said in some post or another that “all fornicators are virgins now.”

Continue reading “Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)”

Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay (other topics addressed, such as Christian codependency, death, grief)

Gender Complementarian Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay

The following post contains one or two cuss words – the majority of the post is “clean,” however. Proceed at your own risk if you are a dainty Christian flower who gets the vapors upon seeing crude language.

——————————-

Owen Strachan, who almost always gets 99% of commentary about gender roles and gender incorrect (he’s also written some (Link): very insulting, (Link): way more insulting, or (Link): weird things about gender roles – Strachan used to be head guy at CBMW, an organization that promotes the bogus gender complementarian view), wrote this page at Patheos about a year ago about adult singleness and giving God glory.

In this short blog post, (Link): Being Single To Give God Glory Strachan links to another, longer version of the same editorial hosted on Boundless (longer version: (Link): complete version at Boundless).

A reminder:  I am not a fan of Boundless, one of several reasons is that Boundless laser focuses on 20 something singles ((Link): for example and (Link): for example) but ignores older singles, and some of their writers give horrible or insulting advice to and about singlehood.

After I began pointing out on my blog and under a few of their blog posts, that there are tons of over 30 singles out there, I notice the writers at Boundless began lumping 30 somethings in with 20 somethings, rather than focusing solely on 20 somethings as had been their previous habit.

However, the folks at Boundless don’t seem to notice or care that there is a significant crop of 40 and older (never married) singles in existence, too. It took them a long, long time to catch on to the fact that there are singles over the age of 29.

Returning to the topic of Strachan’s post about singleness. Not all of Strachan’s blog post about adult singles is terrible. I agreed with a few parts of it.

Strachan actually mentions a few of the same points I’ve been bringing up on my blog here in the last 3 or 4 or however many years.

I believe his blog post was written in 2014, but I did not see it until today (August 2015).

Before I paste in a few of the excerpts from his blog post (probably much farther below), the parts I agreed with, I wanted to comment on this “give glory to God” rhetoric that shows up in his post’s title.

Not only does Strachan use the “glory of God” phrase in his posts about singleness, but I saw Challies (another Christian blogger) use the same phrase in talking to a Christian woman in my same situation (over the age of 35, never married, a virgin).

Challies was saying to this lady, under his post (which essentially put down adult virginity), under her comments to him on his post page, that this woman remaining a virgin over her mid 30s and that she was still single was all to “God’s glory.”

Now, I don’t want to spend a long time dissecting this or commenting on it, but suffice it to say, it offends me, annoys me, and hacks me off when Christians trot out this “be single and be a virgin to God’s glory,” or that they insist that being a single virgin is for his glory.

Before I go further with that, I must also note that Strachan has a graphic on his Patheos page that says “Don’t Waste Your Singleness.” Ugh, no. I have written about that cliche here:

This “it’s for God’s glory” is a pat answer, a cliche’ response, and does not really address the heartbreak, frustration, or dashed hope of someone who is past 35 and marriage never happened for them, although they had expected and had hoped to marry (and to have sex).

Continue reading “Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay (other topics addressed, such as Christian codependency, death, grief)”

Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)

Duggar pastor to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

I have several news articles I wanted to blog about, a few pertain to Josh Duggar and the Ashley Madison hack (in addition to the link you see in this post, farther below). I don’t know how I’m going to get around to making all the posts I want to make.

There is so much wrong with this item I’m blogging about right now, I’m not sure where to begin.

I’m an unmarried adult over the age of 40. I don’t have a spouse to have sex with, so how does this Floyd dork (he’s head of the SBC) propose I not fall into the “sexual revolution”? See, churches never think about adult singles who may be trying to be celibate.

I get that, yes, this guy’s sermon was probably prompted by marital infidelity (the Josh Duggar Ashley Madison story), but think about how telling a mixed congregation (mixed as in never married adults, divorced, widowed, and married couples) that the way to get someone from falling into sexual sin is to have lots of marital sex with that person.

What are the divorced and other singles supposed to do, then? Preachers never consider how their sermons will impact or come across to the singles.

Secondly, Josh Duggar’s issue extends beyond adultery. He molested some of his sisters and a babysitter when he was a teen-aged boy.

Or, maybe I’m not putting it the right way, but I don’t think having more sex or consistent sex with a spouse is necessarily always going to keep a spouse from cheating, but preachers often present this advice as though marital sex is some kind of magical protection that will keep a married person from sexual sin.

Conversely, when or if a Christian husband commits adultery, rather than hold that husband squarely accountable for his sexual sin, which should be the proper course of action, sexist pig preachers, who often subscribe to gender complementarianism, blame the wives!

These preachers will often say that if a husband has an affair, it’s because the wife was not giving him enough sex, not the right kind of sex, or she “let herself go” (as in, she probably gained weight or whatever).

Famous Christians preacher Mark Driscoll and TV host Pat Robertson have been on record before as saying if a woman lets herself go, doesn’t “put out” enough, or nags her husband too much, all these behaviors can and will drive a man to cheat.

Not only is this attitude sexist, not only does it not put the blame squarely on the cheating man where it belongs, but, most often, it’s not even true.

I have seen interviews in years past with married men who admit they were cheating. They explain that they had affairs for reasons like they enjoyed feeling validated by another woman, or they were feeling depressed, or wanted excitement.

These same men said the problem or blame was not with their wives!

They said their wives were attractive, wonderful, pretty, sexy, put out enough great sex, and so forth. It’s not that these men were married to ugly, fat, frigid, nagging wives, but that they were bored or empty and trying to fill that empty spot, and they thought the way to fill it was by having affairs.

Look at professional golfer Tiger Woods. The guy was married to a drop dead gorgeous super model wife, and he still had numerous affairs on her. I saw photos online of some of his mistresses, and they were no where near as attractive as his wife.

Consider movie actress Halle Berry. She is gorgeous, a multi-millionaire, I’d take it. One of her former husbands (or long time boyfriend) cheated on her.

The fact is, you can be wealthy and sexy and your spouse might still have an affair on you; I’ve seen this happen over and over to rock singers and movie actors.

Being beautiful or having a lot of money is not necessarily going to keep a spouse from straying, yet most Christian preachers keep spreading this lie that if only you are sexy or pretty enough that this will keep your husband from straying.

This approach does not work for Hollywood actors, so what on earth makes these preachers think it will work for Christian married couples?

Considering that Josh Duggar was molesting his own sisters as a teen, I’d say there is maybe something more going on there than a randy guy who cannot “keep it in his pants.”

That is, I seriously doubt having more sex with his wife Anna would have kept this guy from signing up for porn sites, Tweeting at porn actresses, and paying $1500 to have sex with call girls.

Considering that Josh Duggar’s wife Anna had four of his babies in a five or six year time span, it’s obvious to me that they were having sex once in awhile. It’s not as though Anna was withholding sex all the time, if he was getting her pregnant once a year or so.

The only other angle I wonder about in all this is if Josh Duggar, due to his strict Quivering type upbringing, which pretty much presents women as being nothing more than baby factories, has a mind frame where he sees women as either being Virgin Marys or as Total Whores.

I would guess he views his wife as a pro-creational sex mate and the porn star he paid to have sex with as being good for recreational sex. He probably felt duty bound to have sex with his wife.

Based on what I’ve read of Quivering families, or some extreme Christian fundamentalist families, wives are for creating heirs; they are not for having enjoyable sex with. That is what a mistress or prostitute is for.

Also remember one theme I hammer on here on my blog is that much of Christian culture depicts single women (unmarried ones) as being horny slutty slut bags, but these same Christians depict married women as being un-interested in sex.

Ergo, one will often come across preachers in sermons or blogs guilting or shaming married women into “putting out” more often. Supposedly, married women hate sex and have to be shamed into having sex.

Sex and more sex is not always a solution to every problem in life, not even in married life. Sermons like the ones by Floyd covered in the following demonstrate a naive or ignorant view about sex.

To reiterate, sermons like the ones summarized below bother me because they almost always blame the wives. Women are always being blamed by the sexual sins of men, inside the Christian religion as well as others, such as Islam.

I think the guy below, Floyd, mentions men and women, but the undercurrent is always “blame women, even if the man is at fault – find some way to pin blame on the wife for the husband’s sexual sin.”

(Link):  Duggar pastor [SBC Ronnie Floyd] to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

  • Aug 24, 2015, by T Gettys
  • …The pastor [Ronnie Floyd] at the Duggar family’s church devoted his sermon to infidelity — which he blamed on pressures created by the “sexual revolution” — just days after Josh Duggar admitted to adultery when his Ashley Madison accounts were revealed.
  • Ronnie Floyd — president of the Southern Baptist Convention and senior pastor of Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas, where the Duggars have attended — spoke against homosexuality, divorce and couples living together before marriage during Sunday’s sermon, reported People.

Continue reading “Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)”

John Piper Issues Lame Advice: Unmarried Christian Woman Asks John Piper if It’s Okay For Her to Be a Police Officer

Unmarried Christian Woman Asks John Piper if It’s Okay For Her to Be a Police Officer

(There are some edits below, I added some new links)

This comes from the Jesus Creed blog:

(Link): That Complementarian Non-Negotiable – post by Scot McKnight

A Christian woman, who is single, wrote John Piper and asked him for career advice. I wonder if it’s a troll. She wants to know if it’s acceptable for an unmarried, complementarian, Christian woman to work as a police officer.

My first issue with this is, why is any woman (especially if she is an adult) writing to another human being about career choices? She should be making her own choices in life about career and whatever else.

She’s wanting to know if being a police officer would be violating any Christian gender complementarian norms.

She’s not asking because she’s just confused at this point in her life and doesn’t know what career to get into – which I could perhaps understand, if one is asking advice for that reason. But to ask for some man’s approval for her career choice? No. A hundred times no.

This is the sort of garbage and nonsense that gender complementarianism creates. Gender complementarianism infantilizes teen girls and grown women. A woman does not need to go to another adult, man or woman, to ask their permission to work in some career field or another. Spare me.

Scot McKnight pastes John Piper’s reply into his post, and true to Piper form, it is very verbose in a flowery way.

I can’t believe the woman wrote to Piper to start with or that Piper is even entertaining replying. He should have just told her to use her God-given brains and follow her interests and aptitudes, rather than ask for his input. But is that what Piper does? No.

Continue reading “John Piper Issues Lame Advice: Unmarried Christian Woman Asks John Piper if It’s Okay For Her to Be a Police Officer”

Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

I discussed on an older post how, since girlhood, I have really liked motorcycles and still do. I was a tom boy when I was a kid.

I was not into most girly hobbies, but my mother, who was a traditional Christian, tried to pique my interest in girly things by buying me dolls when I was a little girl.

My mother later relented a bit and bought me Evel Knievel toysI was a big fan of Evel Knievel back in the day, and I loved motorcycles.

Evel Knievel
Evel Knievel

I still maintain an interest in motorcycles but have never owned one. I was also into other people, things, or hobbies that were considered more boyish.

Should you wonder: I am a heterosexual woman who does not act or look “butch.” I can wear jeans with chucks and turn around and look damn stunning in short skirts and high heels the next. Men flirt with me and ask me out on dates.

Me being interested in motorcycles and things considered boyish since childhood did not result in me becoming terribly unfeminine or a lesbian.

I mention this because I think one reason some Christians assume if they can make little boys and girls adhere to narrow parameters of what they consider “manly” and “womanly” (which is almost always built on secular cultural stereotypes), that they can keep kids from becoming homosexual later in life.

I’ve written a little bit more about some of these subjects in an older post here:

I have discussed before how the conservative, gender Christian gender complementarian approach to gender has been a big turn-off to me, and how it’s one factor of many that makes it difficult to remain in the Christian faith.

Though I will say that Christians who teach and promote Christian gender egalitarianism are a source of encouragement, such as (Link): Christians For Biblical Equality, or (Link): these guys.

I was raised as a gender complementarian – both my parents are Christians who are into traditional gender roles, and my mother encouraged me to be a typical girly girl. (My mother has since passed away.)

For years and years, I felt and believed that the Bible does endorse the Christian gender complementarian view, as is promoted by CBMW (Christians for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood organization. They have a web site. I hesitate to link to their site from my blog. I really hate linking to their site).

As I grew older, I began suspecting that GC (gender complementarianism) is not true, based upon a closer look at the biblical text itself, which has examples in both Old and New Testaments of women, with God’s stamp of approval, leading and teaching men and killing men. I later totally abandoned the GC perspective.

I still remain a right wing, socially conservative, Republican-voting individual who is, by and large, on board with traditional values. Therefore, and contrary to what GCs fear and promote, jettisoning their position on gender is not a slippery slope; it does not always or necessarily turn a person into a liberal, a Democrat, pro-choicer, or a militant secular feminist.

Several days ago, some writer at CBMW, Grant Castleberry,  wrote a paper about how Target stores are removing signage that says “Boys” and “Girls” from their toy sections. Here is a link to that page, hosted on CBMW:

There were several rebuttals to this CBMW post (most of these written by Christians), such as:

(Link):  Target Is Not Trying to Destroy Gender by Laura Turner

(Link):  Why is the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Targeting My Kids? by Tim Fall

(I have disagreed with Tim Fall on a previous topic, but he’s a good egg, and I agree with him more often than not. I certainly agree with him on this Target story)

(Link):  I’m a woman, and God created me to do math and build robots

(Link):   Bigots Lose It Over Target’s Boy Toy Policy by S. Allen

Excerpts:

  • Target’s move toward gender-neutral toy aisles has us celebrating. But some unhappy people are threatening to boycott the store.
  • …And after (Link): Breitbart falsely reported that Target would be “getting rid of the words ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ on clothing” in addition to toys, many on Facebook are under the impression that the company will be removing all gender-based signs from its stores. The original post made it clear that keeping gender-based signage for apparel sections “makes sense” due to “fit and sizing differences.” Target has since (Link): reiterated to several customers: “We are not making any changes to our Men’s, Women’s, Boys’, Girls’, or Baby sections.”
  • …“I have news for [Target] and for everyone else,” he wrote. “God created two different genders.”
  • Fox & Friends found (Link): a psychotherapist who said that the decision went “overboard” and implied that children might “question what their gender is” if they were taken into a Target store without gender-based signage. The caption on the segment: “‘Sign’ of the Times.” Nothing like some light Second Coming humor to kick off your morning.
  • (Link): Blaze contributor and self-declared “professional truth sayer” Mike Walsh blamed Target’s decision on “a few hypersensitive, hyperliberal parents” in a provocative post headlined, “Yes, Target, I Do Want My Daughter to Conform to Her Gender.”
  • Wrote Walsh: “I won’t attempt to defend every gender stereotype or ‘gender norm,’ but I do subscribe to the radical theory that boys and girls are different and distinct from one another in complex, concrete, and important ways, and many of the dreaded ‘norms’ are, well, normal and biological.”
  • Walsh conveniently lays bare the fundamental internal contradiction in the anti-Target outcry: If gender is a universal, biological, and God-ordained constant, then why do children need cultural reinforcement from a retail chain to figure it out? In the bizarro world of far-right logic, gender is at once the strongest force on the planet and the most fragile.
  • The God of Genesis may have created male and female but unless Target puts these words on signs for action figures and Barbie dolls, all of His hard work will be undone.
  • The protests seem to be motivated by the paradoxical fear that children will grow up genderless without Target’s help even though their biology should supposedly guide them into pink and blue aisles without any intervention.
  • But Target is not attacking gender itself, only the outdated idea that girls and boys should play with certain shapes and colors of molded plastic and not others.

Continue reading “Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus”

Pat Robertson Feigns Ignorance At Allegations He’s Been Insensitive Towards Older Single Christian Women Who Cannot Find Marriage Partners

Pat Robertson Feigns Ignorance At Allegations He’s Been Insensitive Towards Older Single Christian Women Who Cannot Find Marriage Partners

So some lady who is an older single Christian woman writes in to Pat Robertson’s show to ask him why he is so hard on older single women.

I don’t know about her, but in my own post here, by “older” I am referring to women over the age of 35, not only or necessarily senior citizens.

You can see and hear her question for yourself here, on CBN’s / 700 Club’s site:

(Link):  Lack Of Eligible Christian Prospects

On You Tube:

(Link):  Bring It On-Line: Lack of Eligible Christian Prospects

In answering that question, Robertson claims he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He does not feel he has been horrible or rude towards older single women. But he has.

I think she’s referring to previous episodes such as:

Then we have other incidents of Robertson victim-blaming women, such as:

Some of Robertson’s attitudes towards women, especially older single women (or ones who are divorced) are sometimes sexist and victim-blaming.

In regards to today’s broadcast, which again, can be viewed here,

(Link):  Lack Of Eligible Christian Prospects

In his reply to this particular woman, Robertson keeps referring to single women as “widows”.

Hey, Pat, there are boat loads full of Christian women ages 30 and up WHO HAVE NEVER MARRIED, and some might be DIVORCED. So why do you keep assuming all women who have a hard time getting a man to marry are WIDOWS?

EQUALLY YOKED TEACHING

Robertson coaches this woman that the Bible says Christian single women should not marry unbelievers.

Please do a search on my blog for the phrases or tags “equally yoked” or “unequally yoked.” Please disregard Robertson’s quotation of the Bible about Paul’s comments about widows should only marry other Christians or stay single.

Whether you are widowed, divorced, or never married, you will never, ever get married if you keep holding out for a Christian spouse.

NON CHRISTIANS SOMETIMES MAKE BETTER SPOUSES

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was reading another testimony by a Christian woman who was married once before, to a Christian, but her Christian husband was a louse and a jerk, so she divorced him. She got remarried, and this time to an atheist.

She was telling the people in this online conversation I was reading that her atheist husband displays more of the (to use Christian jargon here) “fruits of the Spirit” – he is more loving, gentle, attentive, giving, and supportive and so on – than her so-called Christian husband ever was.

Ladies, I know it’s tough, especially if you are still a serious Christian who is dead set on following the Bible and want to honor God, obey God, and your understanding of the Bible, but the sad reality is you are not going to marry, and not by the time you are 30 or 35 if you keep having faith, praying, and hoping God will send you a Christian spouse, or if you keep showing up to churches every week hoping to bump into a Christian Mr. Right.

I’m not saying you are guaranteed a spouse if you jettison typical Christian approaches or targeting Christian men to marry, but I think your odds of marrying may likely increase if you stop chasing after only one very narrow and elusive sub-set of men: adult, single Christian men.

If you start including atheists, agnostics, Jewish guys, etc, into consideration as potential husbands, you are probably more likely to get more dates and eventually marry.

I think the biggest criteria you have to consider is character – is the guy loving towards you, does he treat you well, does he support you and your goals in life, etc? And not, “Is he a Baptist” or “Is he a Jesus believer” or “does he attend a conservative Christian church weekly.”

ON THE LONELY OR SINGLES BEING PUT INTO FAMILIES

As far as single people being alone because they don’t have a spouse, Robertson says God puts lonely single people in families, which is really a sh*tload of garbage.

Using myself as an example:

Ever since my mother died years ago, I’ve not been “put in a family.” I prayed for a few years for a friend or two, or someone to go to, but God has not answered that prayer. I’m still stumbling along alone.

I tried attending churches, but church people either shamed me or lectured me to coming for them with my emotional pain and needs – despite the fact the Bible tells Christians to “weep with those who weep.”

My actual family – I have some siblings and a father, and some extended family – they are totally unsupportive. Some yell at me, shame me for asking for help. I’ve not had anyone to turn to. So no, Pat, God does not put the single or the hurting or the lonely “in families.”

SATAN AS A FATHER IN LAW

Robertson also quotes Billy Graham’s old chestnut (I swear I’ve heard this a million times since I was a kid), that “the Christian who marries a Non-Christian has Satan for a father- in- law.”

When I was younger, that observation seemed somewhat wise to me.

Now that I’m older, I think it’s rather condescending, especially in light of the tons of examples I’ve seen in divorce forums by Christian women who said their church-going Christian husband had many affairs on them, turned out to be a pedophile, or was emotionally or physically abusive.

Don’t forget (Link): this list I have of Christian married men who molest kids or who beat their wives.

And again, I’ve seen plenty of Christian women who were previously married to jerk Christian men who then went to marry Non-Christians who say their Non Christian husband is way more considerate and kind to them than their Christian husband ever was. I no longer put any stock in the “be equally yoked” teaching.

As far as Billy Graham’s comment that “the Christian who marries a Non-Christian has Satan for a father in law,” some Christians marry Christian men who are Satan. They end up having to divorce him (the jerk Christian man) to get peace and safety.

Anyway, Robertson has in fact, in previous episodes, been rather insensitive, blaming, or sexist towards older, never married single women.

(Link):  Bring It On-Line: Lack of Eligible Christian Prospects

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Related Posts:

(Link): Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman 

(Link): Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”

(Link):  Prayer and The 700 Club  – Some Observations and Suggestions

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single  – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband

(Link):  Christian TV Show Pat Robertson Says Wives Who Want Emotional Support from a Husband Are Immature and Should Not Expect Emotional Support

(Link): Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host (Pat Robertson) Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

(Link):  Why are Working Women Starting to Unplug from Their Churches? by Sandra Crawford Williamson (Also discusses never married adult women)

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link):  More Women Are Leaving Behind Religious Identities For Something More Spiritual

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  The Masculinity Myth: The Real Reason Men Don’t Go to Church by the Evangelical Pulpit

(Link):  Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

(Link): Why Unmarried – Single Christians including MEN Should Be Concerned about the Gender Role Controversy

Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies – Meanwhile, Many Churches Refuse to Allow Non-Pedophile, Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions (Re: Steve Furtick’s Elevation Church)

Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

Because many flavors of American Christendom – everything from evangelical to Reformed to Baptist and everything else – continues to harbor this completely un-biblical and insulting perception that marriage and parenthood are necessary rites of adulthood, and because many Christians assume that married persons are above sexually sinning, they continue to prohibit single, celibate adults from holding leadership positions in church.

I have blogged before anecdotes by other celibate, single adults who express pain, shock, hurt, indignation or frustration because their church automatically limits them from doing things such as teaching Sunday school because singles are either regarded as immature or as more liable to sexually sin.

In this story, from the Watch Keep blog, we have an example of a mega-church, Steve Furtick’s “Elevation” church, that not only allows a known pedophile, a Norm Vigue, to lead a Bible study class at their church, the preacher, Furtick, refers to the pedophile as his “personal hero.”

You can read more about that in this post at the Watch Keep blog:

(Link): Steven Furtick and Elevation Church publicly support, celebrate, and elevate a convicted child sex offender before, during and after federal prison: registered sex offender Norman Vigue now leads Elevation Church Bible study (on the Watch Keep blog, by Amy Smith, in conjunction with Wartwatch Blog – a few excerpts, with commentary are farther below)

That is baffling, alarming, and shocking in and of itself, of course, but consider another point or two I’ve raised in my writing before:

  1. Churches are reluctant to utilize adults who are actually sexually pure as role models or as leaders or as teachers (they will not even permit adult celibate singles to teach other adult singles in church).
  2. Churches continue to buy into and promote the stereotype that all adult singles are sexually sinning

If you are a virgin over the age of 30, churches do not want you to speak about sexual purity; their preference is to hire or utilize known or self-professing fornicators as role models, teachers, or speakers.

On her Watch Keep blog, Amy Smith mentions how preacher Furtick has two or three blog posts on his blog describing the child molestor, Vigue, as his hero, and how Vigue will be available after some church service to sign autographs on a book he wrote.

While it is certainly true that God will forgive a repentant child molester, it is shocking that some Christians think the way to express this truth is to promote a child molester as a hero, or as some sort of teacher the rest of us can learn from.

And again, churches are double-minded and hypocritical in these issues two fold:

Point 1: in that they will not only heap praise on a convicted child molester or child rapist but refuse to utilize adult celibates or virgins as examples of sexual morality and God’s grace.

Point 2: pedophiles are permitted to teach and lead in churches, but not non-pedophile, virgin, celibate adults.

Continue reading “Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies – Meanwhile, Many Churches Refuse to Allow Non-Pedophile, Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions (Re: Steve Furtick’s Elevation Church)”

Former Preacher and Pusher of Family Values – who wrote a book saying Character Matters – Has Tie To Second Child Molester

Former Preacher and Pusher of Family Values – who wrote a book saying Character Matters – Has Tie To Second Child Molester

(Link):  Mike Huckabee has a brand new child molester problem — the co-author of his books

(Link):  New child abuse scandal hits Mike Huckabee: Republican White House hopeful’s co-author molested girl, 11, and escaped charges because of statute of limitations

(Link):  Another Mike Huckabee associate was just hit with a molestation scandal

(Link):  Co-Author Of Mike Huckabee Books Was Accused Of Child Molestation In Two Legal Cases

  • Prominent Christian author John Perry, who has also co-authored a book with Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, has been accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits.
  • John Perry, a prolific author who co-wrote two books with former Arkansas governor and presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and co-wrote one with Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, was accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits, BuzzFeed News has found.

(Link): Mike Huckabee Now Has Ties To Another Accused Child Molester

  • The man who co-wrote two books for Mike Huckabee is an accused child molester. BuzzFeed reports John Perry, co-author of books with titles likeCharacter Makes a Difference, So Help Me God, and (get a load of this one) For Faith & Family: Changing America by Strengthening the Family, “was accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits.”
  • A 2012 police investigation of Perry’s alleged offenses found that “the allegations of sexual battery were sustained” but that the statute of limitations had expired.Perry co-wrote Do the Right Thing: Inside the Movement That’s Bringing Common Sense Back to America about Huckabee’s 2008 presidential campaign. He also did research and writing for Huckabee’s 2007 book Character Is the Issue, a memoir of his early time as governor. Perry also co-wrote So Help Me God, Moore’s autobiographical account of fighting to keep a monument to the Ten Commandments at Alabama’s Supreme Court.

    Those books are just a few of the titles produced with Perry’s help: He (Link): wrote For Faith & Family: Changing America by Strengthening the Family with Richard Land, the president of Southern Evangelical Seminary, (Link): a book with former Southern Baptist Convention president James T. Draper, as well as a book with Frank Page, the (Link): president and CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.

  • Perry even co-authored (Link): The Vow, the book made into a feature film starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. Perry also (Link):  lists writing two books for prominent pastor John F. MacArthur on his website.

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Related Post:

(Link):  Christian Josh Duggar Resigns from Family Research Council after Sexual Abuse Allegations

Idiot Christian Husband Claims He Cannot Stop Visiting Prostitutes

Idiot Christian Husband Claims He Cannot Stop Visiting Prostitutes

Some married Christian guy wrote in to Christian TV show “The 700 Club” to tell host Pat Robertson he’s been seeing hookers and cannot stop. He wants advice on how to stop. Of course, moron boy can stop any time he wants.

Let this be a lesson to you, single Christian ladies who want marriage:

Christians will tell you that you can only be married to another Christian (they base this on only one or two Bible verses that are open to interpretation), but even if the Bible did teach this be equally yoked crap, if you want marriage, you may have to marry a Non Christian because Christian females out number the males. Other than that, some Christian men are pigs.

Here you have a guy who says he’s a Christian, but he regularly visits hookers, and I think he said he’s been doing so for years.

You, single Christian woman, are just as well off marrying a Non-Christian man, because the Non Christian man just may live a cleaner life style than a Christian one. You may find a Non Christian husband who would not even dream of seeing a hooker.

I also wonder what this sort of story says about God.

If the God of the Bible exists, why would he permit well meaning, devout, sincere Christian women to end up marrying abusive men, or perverts, like this one, who visits hookers?

If this man’s wife is anything like I was growing up, she probably prayed daily for years that God send her a Christian Mr. Right who would be a kind-hearted, decent guy. I can bet you dollars to doughnuts she did not pray, “Dear Lord, one day, please send me a Christian husband who will cheat on me, and by using prostitutes.”

No, she probably petitioned God for a clean cut guy who has decent morals. So why on earth did God send this woman a man who is a serial cheater?

God is not keeping up his end of the promise, for Jesus said God will only send “good gifts” to his children. Who among you reading this thinks that a serial cheater is a “good gift?” Me neither.

To refresh your memory, from Matthew 7:

  • Or if he [your child] asks for a fish, he [the parent] will not give him a snake, will he? 11 “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

So what is the point in praying to God, or relying on him to meet needs?

God has utterly failed the wife this guy is married to, just as he has failed the many Christian women I have read about in books and other blogs who had to divorce their abusive Christian husbands.

Let this be another example as well that marriage or parenthood do not make a person more godly or mature.

Many Christians teach that singles are immature or are sexual perverts, and teach that marriage is necessary to make a person mature or ethical. Clearly, marriage or parenthood do not make anyone more mature, godly, or loving, since we have a Christian married man (who I think is a father too), who uses hookers.

The man’s letter is the 3rd or 4th one on this video:

(Link): 700 Club Video: Christian Married Man Uses Prostitutes – You Tube

(Link):  Bring It On-Line: Existence In Heaven / Married Christian Man Visits Hookers – hosted on 700 Club site

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Related Posts:

(Link): Forget About Being Equally Yoked: “My Abusive Christian Marriage”

(Link): Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE

(Link): On Prayer and Christ’s Comment to Grant You Anything You Ask in His Name

(Link):  Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):   Shocking Porn ‘Epidemic’ Stats Reveal Details About Christian Consumption (2014 Study) / Nearly Two-Thirds of Christian Men View Porn Monthly; They Are Watching It at Same Rate as Secular Men, Says Study – Christian Single Women: More Proof “Be Equally Yoked” Teachings Are Pointless

(Link):  Florida Youth Pastor Is Behind Bars After Child Porn Discovery – Be Equally Yoked: What A Joke

(Link): Life in prison for Satanist who dismembered and ate mother-of-three after taking her back to his house for sex – The Flip Side to Be Equally Yoked

(Link): Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

(Link): Pro Ball Player Convicted for Kid Diddling Three Kids Claims to be an Outstanding Christian (and he’s married with a kid of his own) – again, why should Christian single gals limit themselves to only marrying Christian men? The Whole “Being Yoked Equally” thing is irrelevant and unduly limiting for singles

Christians Consumed With Ranting Against Homosexual Marriage or Homosexuality But Continually Turn Blind Eye to Hetero Sins – Franklin Graham Boycotts Pro Homosexuality Businesses

Christians Consumed With Ranting Against Homosexual Marriage or Homosexuality But Continually Turn Blind Eye to Hetero Sins of Sexual Nature

I don’t support homosexual behavior. I am hetero. I have traditional morals. I am sympathetic to conservative Christian concerns on some subjects.

However, I am angered and perplexed by the never-ending fixation by conservative Christians to crusade against homosexual behavior or homosexual marriage, yet they seldom address the large amount of sexual sin going on among HETERO Christians.

I have done blog post after blog post linking to articles about unmarried Christians (conservatives no less) who are engaging in pre-marital sex, preachers who admit to having porn addictions, married Christian men who are having affairs on their wives. Where is the conservative Christian outcry against all these sins?

At the same time there is seldom criticism of hetero sin by Christians, there is no support for Christian singles who remain celibate.

The fixation by evangelicals and Baptists seems to be upon homosexuals, homosexuality, and homosexual marriage.

Here is yet another (and recent) example.

(Link):   WHOOPS: Franklin Graham’s New Bank Is LGBT-Friendly, Too

  • Evangelist Franklin Graham may want to look a little more closely at the financial institutions he patronizes.
  • Graham, who is president and CEO of his father’s Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, announced last week that the group would no longer use Wells Fargo because the bank had run an ad featuring a lesbian couple. He also urged Christians to boycott other LGBT-friendly companies.
  • But Graham failed to take his own advice, choosing a new bank that’s also supportive of LGBT causes.

Continue reading “Christians Consumed With Ranting Against Homosexual Marriage or Homosexuality But Continually Turn Blind Eye to Hetero Sins – Franklin Graham Boycotts Pro Homosexuality Businesses”

Thoughts on John Piper’s “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and T. Fall’s Rebuttal

Thoughts on John Piper’s “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and T. Fall’s Rebuttal

Please understand that when I discuss things such as virginity and fornication on my blog, I am always discussing consensual sex, unless I explicitly state otherwise.

I am not discussing sexual abuse in this post per se (the main focus is on consensual sex), and the majority of other posts on my blog, unless it’s really obvious I am doing so, or give a disclaimer. Sexual abuse is another category altogether.

Most of my posts also deal with the topic of sexual purity from the vantage of a never-married adult getting married for the first time, not divorcees, remarriages, or widows.

Over at the “Desiring God” site, one can find this page, which contains a transcript of a podcast by John Piper:

Here is some of what Piper had to say:

  • I think the main thing I want to say is this: Virginity is a precious gift that you cannot give to your fiancé, nor she you. That is a great sadness and a great loss.
  • But there are gifts you can give her and God will multiply those gifts so wonderfully that the loss will not be destructive.
  • You said that you have heard people say, Save yourself sexually for marriage and it is a terrible thing to squander that. Well, I say: Yes, yes, yes — that is exactly right. That is exactly what I think Paul and Jesus would counsel any virgin: “Flee fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
  • Your body belongs to God as a single person, and it will belong to your future spouse. It would be good to think about 1 Corinthians 7:3–4: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights” — that means sex — “and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
  • ..That is a gift you don’t have to give. And you will want to teach your children to have it.So what is the gift you do have to give to this fiancé with whom you have had sexual relations? What gift can you give her that God might be pleased to make so wonderful, the gift you can’t give her will not destroy?
  • [Piper then instructs the young man to apologize to his future wife for the fornication]

Blogger Tim Fall wrote a critique of Piper’s page here:

Regarding Tim Fall’s rebuttal to Piper’s “Walking” post.

I happen to like Tim, so this is nothing personal. But I find myself disagreeing with portions of Tim’s page, or its basis.

Tim makes a few decent points on his page, but his overall premise is similar to the “diminishing-of-virginity” perspective I’ve seen bandied about by a lot of Christians the last few years, which I find disappointing and view as a personal discouragement to maintain my own virginity (more about this below).

I’m not a fan of Piper’s. I disagree with him quite often.

I also find Piper very weird. HIs Twitter account is so earnest and wacko, I sometimes wonder if it’s not actually a parody account, but no, it’s real.

I read Piper’s page, “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and actually don’t find much wrong with it.

I find Piper’s “Walking” response to be a refreshing change of pace from the usual conservative Christian malarky about sexual sin and virginity I’ve seen in blogs, podcasts, interviews, and books the last few years, in that conservative Christians have been attacking the concepts of virginity and celibacy, or else drastically minimizing both lifestyles or disciplines quite a bit.

Piper is unabashedly defending virginity in the “Walking” broadcast, which is a rarity these days among Christians. So kudos to Piper for being on Team Virgin here.

Really, anyone defending virginity is so rare these days, Christian or no, I found a secular essay by a Non-Christian young lady who was asking society at large to back off about her virginity quite surprising and unexpected – and these types of defenses are not common:

How sad. The young lady who wrote that should be able to find a plethora of “pro virginity” articles on Christian blogs and sites (no surprise she cannot find them on secular sites), but I am afraid all she will find on Christian sites are essays that say “beware of virginity idolatry,” “virginity is not a big deal,” or, “God is down with sexual sin, he will wipe your slate clean” (implying one might as well fornicate).

My impression is that Conservative Christians have mainly backed down on supporting virginity because the progressive Christians, who were apparently influenced by secular left wing feminists (it would appear), think it’s wrong or mean to judge anyone’s sexual choices.

To do so, to hold negative views about someone’s sexual choices, is referred to by secular feminists as “slut shaming.”

So, the conservative Christians now believe that even conservative Christians should delicately tip toe around the feelings of fornicators, which includes down-playing virginity, assuring fornicators to the hilt that God loves and forgives them in spite of their sexual sins, and in the process, we are told that virginity doesn’t have much, if any, value.

Nor is virginity a gift to one’s future spouse, according to many of these same writers – at least the ones I’ve come across.

If that is so, if virginity has little to no value, is only an invention of the patriarchy to keep women down, and is not a gift I would be bestowing on a future spouse (should I ever marry), there is no point in me, a 40 something virgin, holding on to her virginity.

Continue reading “Thoughts on John Piper’s “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and T. Fall’s Rebuttal”