Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis Preacher Doug Wilson

Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis  Preacher Doug Wilson

I have blogged on this subject before, or something very similar to it, the weird and worn preoccupation with Christian men with women’s looks and sexuality. Of course, Non Christian men can be just as bad about this and sometimes are.

One of the reasons I am writing this blog post is due to this recent post at Christianity Today:

-But more on that specific post farther below.

There was recently a story in the media about two or three weeks ago about a woman on a site, Linked In, which is a site for professionals to network. This woman received a response from a much-older man on that site who told her how attractive she was in her Linked In site photo.

When this woman wrote him back and told him how sexist and inappropriate his message was, and this story somehow made its way into the public eye, this woman started getting screamed at and criticized by other parties online.

Her story resulted in editorials such as this:

(Link): LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site (from August or Sept 2015)

  • The case against your dad’s favorite social-media platform being used to “connect” with younger women

The reason I have a difficult time taking articles like the following seriously…

Is precisely because of stuff like this is still taking place:

(Link): LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site

  • The case against your dad’s favorite social-media platform being used to “connect” with younger women

If we were REALLY living in a society where men were terrified of being accused of sexual harassment by women (especially in the workplace), would we still find men using professional work sites such as Linked In to tell women they don’t even know how gosh-durn sexy – purty they are? No, I think not.

Men are still acting in a sexist and inappropriate fashion towards women, even on professional job-based web sites. Ergo, men cannot be all that afraid of being smacked with sexual harassment labels or lawsuits as the other article is claiming.

That article once more:

Excerpt from that page:

  • Tellingly, Elsesse [female author] adds that companies themselves are contributing to this mess, as they are now so terrified of legal action they send staff on sexual harassment training courses, and are duty-bound to follow up on any allegation, however minor.Ludicrously, Elsesser cites examples of men who have been dragged in by their HR departments for simply opening a door for a female colleague or complimenting her on a new suit. “Stories like these spread around workplaces, instilling a fear that innocent remarks will be misinterpreted,” she says.

Why would a male co-worker find it necessary to tell a female co-worker that her suit is snazzy? Why not instead tell her what a killer job she did on Tuesday’s staff meeting presentation?

You know, praise the woman’s brains, skills, accomplishments or job performance – instead of her appearance?

I am not a left winger, nor am I a secular feminist. I am right wing.

Any time a woman complains about getting a comment about her physical appearance from a man, even if it is a positive comment, my fellow right wingers will howl in protest. They cannot fathom how or why any woman would find getting compliments on her looks to be derogatory, demeaning, unwanted, or annoying.

You are thought to be overly sensitive, or a woman’s studies major who never shaves her arm pits, or a bra-burning, man hating harpy, if you object to a man telling you in any way, shape or form, that you are pretty or sexy.

My fellow right wingers chalk up any female dissent on receiving compliments on looks from a man as being from a left wing, frothing at the mouth, man-hating feminist.

Reminder: I am a right winger who disagrees with secular left wing feminists over 90% (or more) of the time on 90-95% of topics, but on this one, they are totally correct: as a socially conservative, right wing woman, I find it insulting when men call attention to my looks – even in a personal capacity, let alone a professional one.

I don’t like guys on the internet telling me I am hot, sexy, or pretty (which they have done on sites where I have used photos of myself and my real name, and this is not even on dating sites), nor do I enjoy men I don’t know in stores or streets cat-calling me or making comments about my appearance.

Hell, I grew to resent my ex fiance’s continual ‘You are so beautiful’ comment to be tiresome. I asked him several times to stop commenting on my looks, and that if he wanted to praise me, to do so based on some other quality, like my achievements at my job, my sense of humor – anything but my looks.

But the moron would never do it. It made me feel as though he only valued me for my looks, not my personality or anything else I brought to the table (well, he did love my bank account).

In my particular case, I was an ugly duckling as a kid -by some people’s standards- when I was a pre-teen. I was picked on.

I eventually slimmed down, got contact lenses, started wearing mascara, and boom, the male gender suddenly changed their minds about me. I really don’t like being judged or valued primarily or solely upon my physical appearance, but this has happened repeatedly from my teen years into my adult years.

Men don’t get this, they do not comprehend it. They don’t seem to care to know what it feels like to be accepted or rejected based on their looks alone (or primarily), yet this happens to women from the time we are girls and only grows worse as we get to our pre-teen and teen years and older.

It’s very frustrating and dehumanizing to be evaluated only on your physical appearance. Not to have people notice your intellect, your wit, your talents, your skills, to be appreciated for YOU, for who you are, not for what you look like.

One of the things I find annoying about the usual right wing, anti-feminist come-back to women who object to receiving comments from men about their looks is that such women should chill out and learn to appreciate a compliment.

One of the objections I have to that position: it assumes I need or want male validation and at that, for my appearance, and in a job setting.

However, I do not need or want a man’s validation about my physical appearance, especially not in a work-related context.

Continue reading “Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis Preacher Doug Wilson”

Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient / Unanswered Prayer / Christians should just sometimes admit They Do Not Know

Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient

Gordon Robertson is Pat Robertson’s son. He sometimes hosts “The 700 Club” program, or its partner program, “700 Club Interactive.”

I usually find Gordon to be more sensitive than his father when answering viewer questions, but I was sort of rubbed the wrong way today by some advice he gave to a cancer patient.

A cancer patient wrote to “The 700 Club Interactive” show to say he has bone cancer.

He says in spite of the fact he has prayed numerous times for a healing and has confessed every known sin of his to God, his doctor has told him there is no change with his medical condition. This guy wanted to know what he was doing wrong, how could he get God to heal him.

Gordon told the guy he was looking at it the wrong way.

Gordon told him he needed to stop thinking in terms of unconfessed sin, because under Christ, all his sins, even future ones not yet committed, are already forgiven.

Not that I am totally put off by that answer, and I can see how to a point it might be true, but yet – the Bible still has verses (in the New Testament) that say things like you have to confess your sins to others, if you are holding grudges or unforgiveness against others, God will not answer your prayers.

There is some kind of tension going on in the New Testament (and maybe the rest of the Bible) on several topics, this being one of them.

On the one hand, the Bible does say, yes, you are forgiven of all your sins when you come to Christ, yet, there are still verses that say you won’t get your petitions to God answered in your favor if you don’t do X, Y, or Z.

So I’m not sure if the Bible teaches wholly one way or another in this matter.

But what sort of bugged me is that Gordon was not acknowledging or getting to the heart of the problem.

First of all, Gordon was somewhat victim-blaming. He was putting the onus on the guy by telling the guy to put the onus on God.

He was telling the guy, essentially, that he has stinking thinking and needs to change how he views this whole topic of prayer and unconfessed sin.

Secondly, Gordon’s response did not wrestle with the “No” of God. 

This is a subject I have discussed on my blog only two or three times before. It’s not one I write about a lot, but it does bother me.

Continue reading “Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient / Unanswered Prayer / Christians should just sometimes admit They Do Not Know”

Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman

Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman

How many ways can Christians, many of whom claim to support traditional marriage, manage to undermine and make a mockery of it? Here’s one more way.

(Maybe I should come up with some kind of Bingo card for this.)

Doug Wilson, who is a preacher of his own church (Christ Church), married a known pedophile, Steven Sitler, to a young lady named Katie Travis. (This is the (Link): same Doug Wilson who believes that celibacy is impossible for adults.)

A news story was published a few days ago which explains that Sitler and Sitler’s wife, Katie, had a baby boy together, and Sitler apparently (if I am understanding the article correctly) sexually abused his own biological infant son.

Here is one link about that:

(Link):  Idaho sex offender allowed to return home with child

Excerpt:

  • September 2015
  • By Samantha Malott
    Moscow-Pullman Daily News
  • MOSCOW, Idaho — A Latah County 2nd District Court judge ordered Tuesday that a convicted sex offender, Steven Sitler, must continue to have an approved chaperone present, within his direct line of sight, at all times he is around his infant child in the wake of new disclosures of “contact resulting in actual sexual stimulation.”

The Free Jinger forum has some background information on all this:

And (more background):

Said Annie B Good in that thread:

  • What gets me is that he [Douglas Wilson] married this desperate girl [Katie Travis], who felt she was an old maid at 23, he’s barred from contact with children, and yet he [Sitler] may be going to father children with a woman he’s not attracted to. Just a total mess. Christ Church should be ashamed of the behavior of their so called leaders.

Continue reading “Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman”

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

To be consistent, shouldn’t Challies’ wife’s blog post about adultery contain the line, “We’re all adulterers now, even if we’ve been faithful spouses”?, especially if she cares to match husband Tim’s previous “We’re all fornicators now, even if we’re virgins” post?

——-

I saw this blog post via Defend the Sheep’s Twitter today, and I find it oh so interesting for reasons I shall explain farther below:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men – From Challies blog

The above comes from Tim Challies’ blog, and was purportedly written by his wife, Aileen. I would assume that Mr. Challies is fine with his wife’s editorial and even agrees with it, since it is hosted on his blog.

Before I explain why I find this amusing and forehead smacking worthy, here are some excerpts from the blog – which pertains to all the recent news stories of well known (and even not that well known) Christian married men who have been caught having extra-marital affairs:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men 

Excerpts:

  • Aug 31, 2015, by Aileen
  • …Why do so many men, and even so many Christian men, have such weakness when it comes to sexual sin? But even then I still had hope, hope in the truth of the gospel, hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • In the years since, I have listened to more stories of more Christian men falling, wept with more women, and prayed a whole lot.
  • …I have counseled single young women to pursue purity. …I had hope.
  • ..Then came Ashley Madison and the suggestion that hundreds of pastors would have to resign after being caught with accounts on this website that glorifies adultery. And it’s not just pastors—hundreds of other Christian men, both single and married, have been caught up in the scandal. Now there are more broken homes
  • I have fought to understand the struggle men face. I have fought to have compassion. I have encouraged wives to extend forgiveness, to willingly and joyfully give themselves to their husbands.
  • But you know what? I just don’t know how I can keep doing it. Not when so many husbands are deceptively defiling the marriage bed. Not when so many young, single men are recklessly defiling the future marriage bed. Not when so many men seem just plain unwilling to change.

Aileen then spends the next few paragraphs scolding and shaming Christian men about their sexual sin. Seriously. She even interjects a few Bible verses here and there. She has several statements directed at Christian men starting with the phrase “You should” or “You are supposed to…”

She continues:

  • You know that the Holy Spirit equips you to succeed. God has given you everything you need in the gospel. So why do you keep failing? The only conclusion I can come to is that you are so consumed with self-gratification that you are not willing to fight, and I mean really willing to fight, this sin. If it’s not that you can’t, it must be that you won’t.

Contrast this shaming and scolding of Christian men, and her point that men can practice sexual self control, with a post by her husband Tim Challies, where he seems to think that sexual sin among unmarried men (and women) is inevitable, singles lack sexual self control, and he actually said in some post or another that “all fornicators are virgins now.”

Continue reading “Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)”

Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay (other topics addressed, such as Christian codependency, death, grief)

Gender Complementarian Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay

The following post contains one or two cuss words – the majority of the post is “clean,” however. Proceed at your own risk if you are a dainty Christian flower who gets the vapors upon seeing crude language.

——————————-

Owen Strachan, who almost always gets 99% of commentary about gender roles and gender incorrect (he’s also written some (Link): very insulting, (Link): way more insulting, or (Link): weird things about gender roles – Strachan used to be head guy at CBMW, an organization that promotes the bogus gender complementarian view), wrote this page at Patheos about a year ago about adult singleness and giving God glory.

In this short blog post, (Link): Being Single To Give God Glory Strachan links to another, longer version of the same editorial hosted on Boundless (longer version: (Link): complete version at Boundless).

A reminder:  I am not a fan of Boundless, one of several reasons is that Boundless laser focuses on 20 something singles ((Link): for example and (Link): for example) but ignores older singles, and some of their writers give horrible or insulting advice to and about singlehood.

After I began pointing out on my blog and under a few of their blog posts, that there are tons of over 30 singles out there, I notice the writers at Boundless began lumping 30 somethings in with 20 somethings, rather than focusing solely on 20 somethings as had been their previous habit.

However, the folks at Boundless don’t seem to notice or care that there is a significant crop of 40 and older (never married) singles in existence, too. It took them a long, long time to catch on to the fact that there are singles over the age of 29.

Returning to the topic of Strachan’s post about singleness. Not all of Strachan’s blog post about adult singles is terrible. I agreed with a few parts of it.

Strachan actually mentions a few of the same points I’ve been bringing up on my blog here in the last 3 or 4 or however many years.

I believe his blog post was written in 2014, but I did not see it until today (August 2015).

Before I paste in a few of the excerpts from his blog post (probably much farther below), the parts I agreed with, I wanted to comment on this “give glory to God” rhetoric that shows up in his post’s title.

Not only does Strachan use the “glory of God” phrase in his posts about singleness, but I saw Challies (another Christian blogger) use the same phrase in talking to a Christian woman in my same situation (over the age of 35, never married, a virgin).

Challies was saying to this lady, under his post (which essentially put down adult virginity), under her comments to him on his post page, that this woman remaining a virgin over her mid 30s and that she was still single was all to “God’s glory.”

Now, I don’t want to spend a long time dissecting this or commenting on it, but suffice it to say, it offends me, annoys me, and hacks me off when Christians trot out this “be single and be a virgin to God’s glory,” or that they insist that being a single virgin is for his glory.

Before I go further with that, I must also note that Strachan has a graphic on his Patheos page that says “Don’t Waste Your Singleness.” Ugh, no. I have written about that cliche here:

This “it’s for God’s glory” is a pat answer, a cliche’ response, and does not really address the heartbreak, frustration, or dashed hope of someone who is past 35 and marriage never happened for them, although they had expected and had hoped to marry (and to have sex).

Continue reading “Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay (other topics addressed, such as Christian codependency, death, grief)”

Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)

Duggar pastor to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

I have several news articles I wanted to blog about, a few pertain to Josh Duggar and the Ashley Madison hack (in addition to the link you see in this post, farther below). I don’t know how I’m going to get around to making all the posts I want to make.

There is so much wrong with this item I’m blogging about right now, I’m not sure where to begin.

I’m an unmarried adult over the age of 40. I don’t have a spouse to have sex with, so how does this Floyd dork (he’s head of the SBC) propose I not fall into the “sexual revolution”? See, churches never think about adult singles who may be trying to be celibate.

I get that, yes, this guy’s sermon was probably prompted by marital infidelity (the Josh Duggar Ashley Madison story), but think about how telling a mixed congregation (mixed as in never married adults, divorced, widowed, and married couples) that the way to get someone from falling into sexual sin is to have lots of marital sex with that person.

What are the divorced and other singles supposed to do, then? Preachers never consider how their sermons will impact or come across to the singles.

Secondly, Josh Duggar’s issue extends beyond adultery. He molested some of his sisters and a babysitter when he was a teen-aged boy.

Or, maybe I’m not putting it the right way, but I don’t think having more sex or consistent sex with a spouse is necessarily always going to keep a spouse from cheating, but preachers often present this advice as though marital sex is some kind of magical protection that will keep a married person from sexual sin.

Conversely, when or if a Christian husband commits adultery, rather than hold that husband squarely accountable for his sexual sin, which should be the proper course of action, sexist pig preachers, who often subscribe to gender complementarianism, blame the wives!

These preachers will often say that if a husband has an affair, it’s because the wife was not giving him enough sex, not the right kind of sex, or she “let herself go” (as in, she probably gained weight or whatever).

Famous Christians preacher Mark Driscoll and TV host Pat Robertson have been on record before as saying if a woman lets herself go, doesn’t “put out” enough, or nags her husband too much, all these behaviors can and will drive a man to cheat.

Not only is this attitude sexist, not only does it not put the blame squarely on the cheating man where it belongs, but, most often, it’s not even true.

I have seen interviews in years past with married men who admit they were cheating. They explain that they had affairs for reasons like they enjoyed feeling validated by another woman, or they were feeling depressed, or wanted excitement.

These same men said the problem or blame was not with their wives!

They said their wives were attractive, wonderful, pretty, sexy, put out enough great sex, and so forth. It’s not that these men were married to ugly, fat, frigid, nagging wives, but that they were bored or empty and trying to fill that empty spot, and they thought the way to fill it was by having affairs.

Look at professional golfer Tiger Woods. The guy was married to a drop dead gorgeous super model wife, and he still had numerous affairs on her. I saw photos online of some of his mistresses, and they were no where near as attractive as his wife.

Consider movie actress Halle Berry. She is gorgeous, a multi-millionaire, I’d take it. One of her former husbands (or long time boyfriend) cheated on her.

The fact is, you can be wealthy and sexy and your spouse might still have an affair on you; I’ve seen this happen over and over to rock singers and movie actors.

Being beautiful or having a lot of money is not necessarily going to keep a spouse from straying, yet most Christian preachers keep spreading this lie that if only you are sexy or pretty enough that this will keep your husband from straying.

This approach does not work for Hollywood actors, so what on earth makes these preachers think it will work for Christian married couples?

Considering that Josh Duggar was molesting his own sisters as a teen, I’d say there is maybe something more going on there than a randy guy who cannot “keep it in his pants.”

That is, I seriously doubt having more sex with his wife Anna would have kept this guy from signing up for porn sites, Tweeting at porn actresses, and paying $1500 to have sex with call girls.

Considering that Josh Duggar’s wife Anna had four of his babies in a five or six year time span, it’s obvious to me that they were having sex once in awhile. It’s not as though Anna was withholding sex all the time, if he was getting her pregnant once a year or so.

The only other angle I wonder about in all this is if Josh Duggar, due to his strict Quivering type upbringing, which pretty much presents women as being nothing more than baby factories, has a mind frame where he sees women as either being Virgin Marys or as Total Whores.

I would guess he views his wife as a pro-creational sex mate and the porn star he paid to have sex with as being good for recreational sex. He probably felt duty bound to have sex with his wife.

Based on what I’ve read of Quivering families, or some extreme Christian fundamentalist families, wives are for creating heirs; they are not for having enjoyable sex with. That is what a mistress or prostitute is for.

Also remember one theme I hammer on here on my blog is that much of Christian culture depicts single women (unmarried ones) as being horny slutty slut bags, but these same Christians depict married women as being un-interested in sex.

Ergo, one will often come across preachers in sermons or blogs guilting or shaming married women into “putting out” more often. Supposedly, married women hate sex and have to be shamed into having sex.

Sex and more sex is not always a solution to every problem in life, not even in married life. Sermons like the ones by Floyd covered in the following demonstrate a naive or ignorant view about sex.

To reiterate, sermons like the ones summarized below bother me because they almost always blame the wives. Women are always being blamed by the sexual sins of men, inside the Christian religion as well as others, such as Islam.

I think the guy below, Floyd, mentions men and women, but the undercurrent is always “blame women, even if the man is at fault – find some way to pin blame on the wife for the husband’s sexual sin.”

(Link):  Duggar pastor [SBC Ronnie Floyd] to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

  • Aug 24, 2015, by T Gettys
  • …The pastor [Ronnie Floyd] at the Duggar family’s church devoted his sermon to infidelity — which he blamed on pressures created by the “sexual revolution” — just days after Josh Duggar admitted to adultery when his Ashley Madison accounts were revealed.
  • Ronnie Floyd — president of the Southern Baptist Convention and senior pastor of Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas, where the Duggars have attended — spoke against homosexuality, divorce and couples living together before marriage during Sunday’s sermon, reported People.

Continue reading “Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)”

John Piper Issues Lame Advice: Unmarried Christian Woman Asks John Piper if It’s Okay For Her to Be a Police Officer

Unmarried Christian Woman Asks John Piper if It’s Okay For Her to Be a Police Officer

(There are some edits below, I added some new links)

This comes from the Jesus Creed blog:

(Link): That Complementarian Non-Negotiable – post by Scot McKnight

A Christian woman, who is single, wrote John Piper and asked him for career advice. I wonder if it’s a troll. She wants to know if it’s acceptable for an unmarried, complementarian, Christian woman to work as a police officer.

My first issue with this is, why is any woman (especially if she is an adult) writing to another human being about career choices? She should be making her own choices in life about career and whatever else.

She’s wanting to know if being a police officer would be violating any Christian gender complementarian norms.

She’s not asking because she’s just confused at this point in her life and doesn’t know what career to get into – which I could perhaps understand, if one is asking advice for that reason. But to ask for some man’s approval for her career choice? No. A hundred times no.

This is the sort of garbage and nonsense that gender complementarianism creates. Gender complementarianism infantilizes teen girls and grown women. A woman does not need to go to another adult, man or woman, to ask their permission to work in some career field or another. Spare me.

Scot McKnight pastes John Piper’s reply into his post, and true to Piper form, it is very verbose in a flowery way.

I can’t believe the woman wrote to Piper to start with or that Piper is even entertaining replying. He should have just told her to use her God-given brains and follow her interests and aptitudes, rather than ask for his input. But is that what Piper does? No.

Continue reading “John Piper Issues Lame Advice: Unmarried Christian Woman Asks John Piper if It’s Okay For Her to Be a Police Officer”

Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

I discussed on an older post how, since girlhood, I have really liked motorcycles and still do. I was a tom boy when I was a kid.

I was not into most girly hobbies, but my mother, who was a traditional Christian, tried to pique my interest in girly things by buying me dolls when I was a little girl.

My mother later relented a bit and bought me Evel Knievel toysI was a big fan of Evel Knievel back in the day, and I loved motorcycles.

Evel Knievel
Evel Knievel

I still maintain an interest in motorcycles but have never owned one. I was also into other people, things, or hobbies that were considered more boyish.

Should you wonder: I am a heterosexual woman who does not act or look “butch.” I can wear jeans with chucks and turn around and look damn stunning in short skirts and high heels the next. Men flirt with me and ask me out on dates.

Me being interested in motorcycles and things considered boyish since childhood did not result in me becoming terribly unfeminine or a lesbian.

I mention this because I think one reason some Christians assume if they can make little boys and girls adhere to narrow parameters of what they consider “manly” and “womanly” (which is almost always built on secular cultural stereotypes), that they can keep kids from becoming homosexual later in life.

I’ve written a little bit more about some of these subjects in an older post here:

I have discussed before how the conservative, gender Christian gender complementarian approach to gender has been a big turn-off to me, and how it’s one factor of many that makes it difficult to remain in the Christian faith.

Though I will say that Christians who teach and promote Christian gender egalitarianism are a source of encouragement, such as (Link): Christians For Biblical Equality, or (Link): these guys.

I was raised as a gender complementarian – both my parents are Christians who are into traditional gender roles, and my mother encouraged me to be a typical girly girl. (My mother has since passed away.)

For years and years, I felt and believed that the Bible does endorse the Christian gender complementarian view, as is promoted by CBMW (Christians for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood organization. They have a web site. I hesitate to link to their site from my blog. I really hate linking to their site).

As I grew older, I began suspecting that GC (gender complementarianism) is not true, based upon a closer look at the biblical text itself, which has examples in both Old and New Testaments of women, with God’s stamp of approval, leading and teaching men and killing men. I later totally abandoned the GC perspective.

I still remain a right wing, socially conservative, Republican-voting individual who is, by and large, on board with traditional values. Therefore, and contrary to what GCs fear and promote, jettisoning their position on gender is not a slippery slope; it does not always or necessarily turn a person into a liberal, a Democrat, pro-choicer, or a militant secular feminist.

Several days ago, some writer at CBMW, Grant Castleberry,  wrote a paper about how Target stores are removing signage that says “Boys” and “Girls” from their toy sections. Here is a link to that page, hosted on CBMW:

There were several rebuttals to this CBMW post (most of these written by Christians), such as:

(Link):  Target Is Not Trying to Destroy Gender by Laura Turner

(Link):  Why is the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Targeting My Kids? by Tim Fall

(I have disagreed with Tim Fall on a previous topic, but he’s a good egg, and I agree with him more often than not. I certainly agree with him on this Target story)

(Link):  I’m a woman, and God created me to do math and build robots

(Link):   Bigots Lose It Over Target’s Boy Toy Policy by S. Allen

Excerpts:

  • Target’s move toward gender-neutral toy aisles has us celebrating. But some unhappy people are threatening to boycott the store.
  • …And after (Link): Breitbart falsely reported that Target would be “getting rid of the words ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ on clothing” in addition to toys, many on Facebook are under the impression that the company will be removing all gender-based signs from its stores. The original post made it clear that keeping gender-based signage for apparel sections “makes sense” due to “fit and sizing differences.” Target has since (Link): reiterated to several customers: “We are not making any changes to our Men’s, Women’s, Boys’, Girls’, or Baby sections.”
  • …“I have news for [Target] and for everyone else,” he wrote. “God created two different genders.”
  • Fox & Friends found (Link): a psychotherapist who said that the decision went “overboard” and implied that children might “question what their gender is” if they were taken into a Target store without gender-based signage. The caption on the segment: “‘Sign’ of the Times.” Nothing like some light Second Coming humor to kick off your morning.
  • (Link): Blaze contributor and self-declared “professional truth sayer” Mike Walsh blamed Target’s decision on “a few hypersensitive, hyperliberal parents” in a provocative post headlined, “Yes, Target, I Do Want My Daughter to Conform to Her Gender.”
  • Wrote Walsh: “I won’t attempt to defend every gender stereotype or ‘gender norm,’ but I do subscribe to the radical theory that boys and girls are different and distinct from one another in complex, concrete, and important ways, and many of the dreaded ‘norms’ are, well, normal and biological.”
  • Walsh conveniently lays bare the fundamental internal contradiction in the anti-Target outcry: If gender is a universal, biological, and God-ordained constant, then why do children need cultural reinforcement from a retail chain to figure it out? In the bizarro world of far-right logic, gender is at once the strongest force on the planet and the most fragile.
  • The God of Genesis may have created male and female but unless Target puts these words on signs for action figures and Barbie dolls, all of His hard work will be undone.
  • The protests seem to be motivated by the paradoxical fear that children will grow up genderless without Target’s help even though their biology should supposedly guide them into pink and blue aisles without any intervention.
  • But Target is not attacking gender itself, only the outdated idea that girls and boys should play with certain shapes and colors of molded plastic and not others.

Continue reading “Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus”

Pat Robertson Feigns Ignorance At Allegations He’s Been Insensitive Towards Older Single Christian Women Who Cannot Find Marriage Partners

Pat Robertson Feigns Ignorance At Allegations He’s Been Insensitive Towards Older Single Christian Women Who Cannot Find Marriage Partners

So some lady who is an older single Christian woman writes in to Pat Robertson’s show to ask him why he is so hard on older single women.

I don’t know about her, but in my own post here, by “older” I am referring to women over the age of 35, not only or necessarily senior citizens.

You can see and hear her question for yourself here, on CBN’s / 700 Club’s site:

(Link):  Lack Of Eligible Christian Prospects

On You Tube:

(Link):  Bring It On-Line: Lack of Eligible Christian Prospects

In answering that question, Robertson claims he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He does not feel he has been horrible or rude towards older single women. But he has.

I think she’s referring to previous episodes such as:

Then we have other incidents of Robertson victim-blaming women, such as:

Some of Robertson’s attitudes towards women, especially older single women (or ones who are divorced) are sometimes sexist and victim-blaming.

In regards to today’s broadcast, which again, can be viewed here,

(Link):  Lack Of Eligible Christian Prospects

In his reply to this particular woman, Robertson keeps referring to single women as “widows”.

Hey, Pat, there are boat loads full of Christian women ages 30 and up WHO HAVE NEVER MARRIED, and some might be DIVORCED. So why do you keep assuming all women who have a hard time getting a man to marry are WIDOWS?

EQUALLY YOKED TEACHING

Robertson coaches this woman that the Bible says Christian single women should not marry unbelievers.

Please do a search on my blog for the phrases or tags “equally yoked” or “unequally yoked.” Please disregard Robertson’s quotation of the Bible about Paul’s comments about widows should only marry other Christians or stay single.

Whether you are widowed, divorced, or never married, you will never, ever get married if you keep holding out for a Christian spouse.

NON CHRISTIANS SOMETIMES MAKE BETTER SPOUSES

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was reading another testimony by a Christian woman who was married once before, to a Christian, but her Christian husband was a louse and a jerk, so she divorced him. She got remarried, and this time to an atheist.

She was telling the people in this online conversation I was reading that her atheist husband displays more of the (to use Christian jargon here) “fruits of the Spirit” – he is more loving, gentle, attentive, giving, and supportive and so on – than her so-called Christian husband ever was.

Ladies, I know it’s tough, especially if you are still a serious Christian who is dead set on following the Bible and want to honor God, obey God, and your understanding of the Bible, but the sad reality is you are not going to marry, and not by the time you are 30 or 35 if you keep having faith, praying, and hoping God will send you a Christian spouse, or if you keep showing up to churches every week hoping to bump into a Christian Mr. Right.

I’m not saying you are guaranteed a spouse if you jettison typical Christian approaches or targeting Christian men to marry, but I think your odds of marrying may likely increase if you stop chasing after only one very narrow and elusive sub-set of men: adult, single Christian men.

If you start including atheists, agnostics, Jewish guys, etc, into consideration as potential husbands, you are probably more likely to get more dates and eventually marry.

I think the biggest criteria you have to consider is character – is the guy loving towards you, does he treat you well, does he support you and your goals in life, etc? And not, “Is he a Baptist” or “Is he a Jesus believer” or “does he attend a conservative Christian church weekly.”

ON THE LONELY OR SINGLES BEING PUT INTO FAMILIES

As far as single people being alone because they don’t have a spouse, Robertson says God puts lonely single people in families, which is really a sh*tload of garbage.

Using myself as an example:

Ever since my mother died years ago, I’ve not been “put in a family.” I prayed for a few years for a friend or two, or someone to go to, but God has not answered that prayer. I’m still stumbling along alone.

I tried attending churches, but church people either shamed me or lectured me to coming for them with my emotional pain and needs – despite the fact the Bible tells Christians to “weep with those who weep.”

My actual family – I have some siblings and a father, and some extended family – they are totally unsupportive. Some yell at me, shame me for asking for help. I’ve not had anyone to turn to. So no, Pat, God does not put the single or the hurting or the lonely “in families.”

SATAN AS A FATHER IN LAW

Robertson also quotes Billy Graham’s old chestnut (I swear I’ve heard this a million times since I was a kid), that “the Christian who marries a Non-Christian has Satan for a father- in- law.”

When I was younger, that observation seemed somewhat wise to me.

Now that I’m older, I think it’s rather condescending, especially in light of the tons of examples I’ve seen in divorce forums by Christian women who said their church-going Christian husband had many affairs on them, turned out to be a pedophile, or was emotionally or physically abusive.

Don’t forget (Link): this list I have of Christian married men who molest kids or who beat their wives.

And again, I’ve seen plenty of Christian women who were previously married to jerk Christian men who then went to marry Non-Christians who say their Non Christian husband is way more considerate and kind to them than their Christian husband ever was. I no longer put any stock in the “be equally yoked” teaching.

As far as Billy Graham’s comment that “the Christian who marries a Non-Christian has Satan for a father in law,” some Christians marry Christian men who are Satan. They end up having to divorce him (the jerk Christian man) to get peace and safety.

Anyway, Robertson has in fact, in previous episodes, been rather insensitive, blaming, or sexist towards older, never married single women.

(Link):  Bring It On-Line: Lack of Eligible Christian Prospects

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Related Posts:

(Link): Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman 

(Link): Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”

(Link):  Prayer and The 700 Club  – Some Observations and Suggestions

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single  – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband

(Link):  Christian TV Show Pat Robertson Says Wives Who Want Emotional Support from a Husband Are Immature and Should Not Expect Emotional Support

(Link): Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host (Pat Robertson) Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

(Link):  Why are Working Women Starting to Unplug from Their Churches? by Sandra Crawford Williamson (Also discusses never married adult women)

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link):  More Women Are Leaving Behind Religious Identities For Something More Spiritual

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  The Masculinity Myth: The Real Reason Men Don’t Go to Church by the Evangelical Pulpit

(Link):  Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

(Link): Why Unmarried – Single Christians including MEN Should Be Concerned about the Gender Role Controversy

Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies – Meanwhile, Many Churches Refuse to Allow Non-Pedophile, Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions (Re: Steve Furtick’s Elevation Church)

Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

Because many flavors of American Christendom – everything from evangelical to Reformed to Baptist and everything else – continues to harbor this completely un-biblical and insulting perception that marriage and parenthood are necessary rites of adulthood, and because many Christians assume that married persons are above sexually sinning, they continue to prohibit single, celibate adults from holding leadership positions in church.

I have blogged before anecdotes by other celibate, single adults who express pain, shock, hurt, indignation or frustration because their church automatically limits them from doing things such as teaching Sunday school because singles are either regarded as immature or as more liable to sexually sin.

In this story, from the Watch Keep blog, we have an example of a mega-church, Steve Furtick’s “Elevation” church, that not only allows a known pedophile, a Norm Vigue, to lead a Bible study class at their church, the preacher, Furtick, refers to the pedophile as his “personal hero.”

You can read more about that in this post at the Watch Keep blog:

(Link): Steven Furtick and Elevation Church publicly support, celebrate, and elevate a convicted child sex offender before, during and after federal prison: registered sex offender Norman Vigue now leads Elevation Church Bible study (on the Watch Keep blog, by Amy Smith, in conjunction with Wartwatch Blog – a few excerpts, with commentary are farther below)

That is baffling, alarming, and shocking in and of itself, of course, but consider another point or two I’ve raised in my writing before:

  1. Churches are reluctant to utilize adults who are actually sexually pure as role models or as leaders or as teachers (they will not even permit adult celibate singles to teach other adult singles in church).
  2. Churches continue to buy into and promote the stereotype that all adult singles are sexually sinning

If you are a virgin over the age of 30, churches do not want you to speak about sexual purity; their preference is to hire or utilize known or self-professing fornicators as role models, teachers, or speakers.

On her Watch Keep blog, Amy Smith mentions how preacher Furtick has two or three blog posts on his blog describing the child molestor, Vigue, as his hero, and how Vigue will be available after some church service to sign autographs on a book he wrote.

While it is certainly true that God will forgive a repentant child molester, it is shocking that some Christians think the way to express this truth is to promote a child molester as a hero, or as some sort of teacher the rest of us can learn from.

And again, churches are double-minded and hypocritical in these issues two fold:

Point 1: in that they will not only heap praise on a convicted child molester or child rapist but refuse to utilize adult celibates or virgins as examples of sexual morality and God’s grace.

Point 2: pedophiles are permitted to teach and lead in churches, but not non-pedophile, virgin, celibate adults.

Continue reading “Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies – Meanwhile, Many Churches Refuse to Allow Non-Pedophile, Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions (Re: Steve Furtick’s Elevation Church)”

Former Preacher and Pusher of Family Values – who wrote a book saying Character Matters – Has Tie To Second Child Molester

Former Preacher and Pusher of Family Values – who wrote a book saying Character Matters – Has Tie To Second Child Molester

(Link):  Mike Huckabee has a brand new child molester problem — the co-author of his books

(Link):  New child abuse scandal hits Mike Huckabee: Republican White House hopeful’s co-author molested girl, 11, and escaped charges because of statute of limitations

(Link):  Another Mike Huckabee associate was just hit with a molestation scandal

(Link):  Co-Author Of Mike Huckabee Books Was Accused Of Child Molestation In Two Legal Cases

  • Prominent Christian author John Perry, who has also co-authored a book with Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, has been accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits.
  • John Perry, a prolific author who co-wrote two books with former Arkansas governor and presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and co-wrote one with Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, was accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits, BuzzFeed News has found.

(Link): Mike Huckabee Now Has Ties To Another Accused Child Molester

  • The man who co-wrote two books for Mike Huckabee is an accused child molester. BuzzFeed reports John Perry, co-author of books with titles likeCharacter Makes a Difference, So Help Me God, and (get a load of this one) For Faith & Family: Changing America by Strengthening the Family, “was accused of child molestation in two separate lawsuits.”
  • A 2012 police investigation of Perry’s alleged offenses found that “the allegations of sexual battery were sustained” but that the statute of limitations had expired.Perry co-wrote Do the Right Thing: Inside the Movement That’s Bringing Common Sense Back to America about Huckabee’s 2008 presidential campaign. He also did research and writing for Huckabee’s 2007 book Character Is the Issue, a memoir of his early time as governor. Perry also co-wrote So Help Me God, Moore’s autobiographical account of fighting to keep a monument to the Ten Commandments at Alabama’s Supreme Court.

    Those books are just a few of the titles produced with Perry’s help: He (Link): wrote For Faith & Family: Changing America by Strengthening the Family with Richard Land, the president of Southern Evangelical Seminary, (Link): a book with former Southern Baptist Convention president James T. Draper, as well as a book with Frank Page, the (Link): president and CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.

  • Perry even co-authored (Link): The Vow, the book made into a feature film starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. Perry also (Link):  lists writing two books for prominent pastor John F. MacArthur on his website.

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Related Post:

(Link):  Christian Josh Duggar Resigns from Family Research Council after Sexual Abuse Allegations

Idiot Christian Husband Claims He Cannot Stop Visiting Prostitutes

Idiot Christian Husband Claims He Cannot Stop Visiting Prostitutes

Some married Christian guy wrote in to Christian TV show “The 700 Club” to tell host Pat Robertson he’s been seeing hookers and cannot stop. He wants advice on how to stop. Of course, moron boy can stop any time he wants.

Let this be a lesson to you, single Christian ladies who want marriage:

Christians will tell you that you can only be married to another Christian (they base this on only one or two Bible verses that are open to interpretation), but even if the Bible did teach this be equally yoked crap, if you want marriage, you may have to marry a Non Christian because Christian females out number the males. Other than that, some Christian men are pigs.

Here you have a guy who says he’s a Christian, but he regularly visits hookers, and I think he said he’s been doing so for years.

You, single Christian woman, are just as well off marrying a Non-Christian man, because the Non Christian man just may live a cleaner life style than a Christian one. You may find a Non Christian husband who would not even dream of seeing a hooker.

I also wonder what this sort of story says about God.

If the God of the Bible exists, why would he permit well meaning, devout, sincere Christian women to end up marrying abusive men, or perverts, like this one, who visits hookers?

If this man’s wife is anything like I was growing up, she probably prayed daily for years that God send her a Christian Mr. Right who would be a kind-hearted, decent guy. I can bet you dollars to doughnuts she did not pray, “Dear Lord, one day, please send me a Christian husband who will cheat on me, and by using prostitutes.”

No, she probably petitioned God for a clean cut guy who has decent morals. So why on earth did God send this woman a man who is a serial cheater?

God is not keeping up his end of the promise, for Jesus said God will only send “good gifts” to his children. Who among you reading this thinks that a serial cheater is a “good gift?” Me neither.

To refresh your memory, from Matthew 7:

  • Or if he [your child] asks for a fish, he [the parent] will not give him a snake, will he? 11 “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

So what is the point in praying to God, or relying on him to meet needs?

God has utterly failed the wife this guy is married to, just as he has failed the many Christian women I have read about in books and other blogs who had to divorce their abusive Christian husbands.

Let this be another example as well that marriage or parenthood do not make a person more godly or mature.

Many Christians teach that singles are immature or are sexual perverts, and teach that marriage is necessary to make a person mature or ethical. Clearly, marriage or parenthood do not make anyone more mature, godly, or loving, since we have a Christian married man (who I think is a father too), who uses hookers.

The man’s letter is the 3rd or 4th one on this video:

(Link): 700 Club Video: Christian Married Man Uses Prostitutes – You Tube

(Link):  Bring It On-Line: Existence In Heaven / Married Christian Man Visits Hookers – hosted on 700 Club site

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Related Posts:

(Link): Forget About Being Equally Yoked: “My Abusive Christian Marriage”

(Link): Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE

(Link): On Prayer and Christ’s Comment to Grant You Anything You Ask in His Name

(Link):  Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):   Shocking Porn ‘Epidemic’ Stats Reveal Details About Christian Consumption (2014 Study) / Nearly Two-Thirds of Christian Men View Porn Monthly; They Are Watching It at Same Rate as Secular Men, Says Study – Christian Single Women: More Proof “Be Equally Yoked” Teachings Are Pointless

(Link):  Florida Youth Pastor Is Behind Bars After Child Porn Discovery – Be Equally Yoked: What A Joke

(Link): Life in prison for Satanist who dismembered and ate mother-of-three after taking her back to his house for sex – The Flip Side to Be Equally Yoked

(Link): Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

(Link): Pro Ball Player Convicted for Kid Diddling Three Kids Claims to be an Outstanding Christian (and he’s married with a kid of his own) – again, why should Christian single gals limit themselves to only marrying Christian men? The Whole “Being Yoked Equally” thing is irrelevant and unduly limiting for singles

Christians Consumed With Ranting Against Homosexual Marriage or Homosexuality But Continually Turn Blind Eye to Hetero Sins – Franklin Graham Boycotts Pro Homosexuality Businesses

Christians Consumed With Ranting Against Homosexual Marriage or Homosexuality But Continually Turn Blind Eye to Hetero Sins of Sexual Nature

I don’t support homosexual behavior. I am hetero. I have traditional morals. I am sympathetic to conservative Christian concerns on some subjects.

However, I am angered and perplexed by the never-ending fixation by conservative Christians to crusade against homosexual behavior or homosexual marriage, yet they seldom address the large amount of sexual sin going on among HETERO Christians.

I have done blog post after blog post linking to articles about unmarried Christians (conservatives no less) who are engaging in pre-marital sex, preachers who admit to having porn addictions, married Christian men who are having affairs on their wives. Where is the conservative Christian outcry against all these sins?

At the same time there is seldom criticism of hetero sin by Christians, there is no support for Christian singles who remain celibate.

The fixation by evangelicals and Baptists seems to be upon homosexuals, homosexuality, and homosexual marriage.

Here is yet another (and recent) example.

(Link):   WHOOPS: Franklin Graham’s New Bank Is LGBT-Friendly, Too

  • Evangelist Franklin Graham may want to look a little more closely at the financial institutions he patronizes.
  • Graham, who is president and CEO of his father’s Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, announced last week that the group would no longer use Wells Fargo because the bank had run an ad featuring a lesbian couple. He also urged Christians to boycott other LGBT-friendly companies.
  • But Graham failed to take his own advice, choosing a new bank that’s also supportive of LGBT causes.

Continue reading “Christians Consumed With Ranting Against Homosexual Marriage or Homosexuality But Continually Turn Blind Eye to Hetero Sins – Franklin Graham Boycotts Pro Homosexuality Businesses”

Thoughts on John Piper’s “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and T. Fall’s Rebuttal

Thoughts on John Piper’s “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and T. Fall’s Rebuttal

Please understand that when I discuss things such as virginity and fornication on my blog, I am always discussing consensual sex, unless I explicitly state otherwise.

I am not discussing sexual abuse in this post per se (the main focus is on consensual sex), and the majority of other posts on my blog, unless it’s really obvious I am doing so, or give a disclaimer. Sexual abuse is another category altogether.

Most of my posts also deal with the topic of sexual purity from the vantage of a never-married adult getting married for the first time, not divorcees, remarriages, or widows.

Over at the “Desiring God” site, one can find this page, which contains a transcript of a podcast by John Piper:

Here is some of what Piper had to say:

  • I think the main thing I want to say is this: Virginity is a precious gift that you cannot give to your fiancé, nor she you. That is a great sadness and a great loss.
  • But there are gifts you can give her and God will multiply those gifts so wonderfully that the loss will not be destructive.
  • You said that you have heard people say, Save yourself sexually for marriage and it is a terrible thing to squander that. Well, I say: Yes, yes, yes — that is exactly right. That is exactly what I think Paul and Jesus would counsel any virgin: “Flee fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
  • Your body belongs to God as a single person, and it will belong to your future spouse. It would be good to think about 1 Corinthians 7:3–4: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights” — that means sex — “and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
  • ..That is a gift you don’t have to give. And you will want to teach your children to have it.So what is the gift you do have to give to this fiancé with whom you have had sexual relations? What gift can you give her that God might be pleased to make so wonderful, the gift you can’t give her will not destroy?
  • [Piper then instructs the young man to apologize to his future wife for the fornication]

Blogger Tim Fall wrote a critique of Piper’s page here:

Regarding Tim Fall’s rebuttal to Piper’s “Walking” post.

I happen to like Tim, so this is nothing personal. But I find myself disagreeing with portions of Tim’s page, or its basis.

Tim makes a few decent points on his page, but his overall premise is similar to the “diminishing-of-virginity” perspective I’ve seen bandied about by a lot of Christians the last few years, which I find disappointing and view as a personal discouragement to maintain my own virginity (more about this below).

I’m not a fan of Piper’s. I disagree with him quite often.

I also find Piper very weird. HIs Twitter account is so earnest and wacko, I sometimes wonder if it’s not actually a parody account, but no, it’s real.

I read Piper’s page, “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and actually don’t find much wrong with it.

I find Piper’s “Walking” response to be a refreshing change of pace from the usual conservative Christian malarky about sexual sin and virginity I’ve seen in blogs, podcasts, interviews, and books the last few years, in that conservative Christians have been attacking the concepts of virginity and celibacy, or else drastically minimizing both lifestyles or disciplines quite a bit.

Piper is unabashedly defending virginity in the “Walking” broadcast, which is a rarity these days among Christians. So kudos to Piper for being on Team Virgin here.

Really, anyone defending virginity is so rare these days, Christian or no, I found a secular essay by a Non-Christian young lady who was asking society at large to back off about her virginity quite surprising and unexpected – and these types of defenses are not common:

How sad. The young lady who wrote that should be able to find a plethora of “pro virginity” articles on Christian blogs and sites (no surprise she cannot find them on secular sites), but I am afraid all she will find on Christian sites are essays that say “beware of virginity idolatry,” “virginity is not a big deal,” or, “God is down with sexual sin, he will wipe your slate clean” (implying one might as well fornicate).

My impression is that Conservative Christians have mainly backed down on supporting virginity because the progressive Christians, who were apparently influenced by secular left wing feminists (it would appear), think it’s wrong or mean to judge anyone’s sexual choices.

To do so, to hold negative views about someone’s sexual choices, is referred to by secular feminists as “slut shaming.”

So, the conservative Christians now believe that even conservative Christians should delicately tip toe around the feelings of fornicators, which includes down-playing virginity, assuring fornicators to the hilt that God loves and forgives them in spite of their sexual sins, and in the process, we are told that virginity doesn’t have much, if any, value.

Nor is virginity a gift to one’s future spouse, according to many of these same writers – at least the ones I’ve come across.

If that is so, if virginity has little to no value, is only an invention of the patriarchy to keep women down, and is not a gift I would be bestowing on a future spouse (should I ever marry), there is no point in me, a 40 something virgin, holding on to her virginity.

Continue reading “Thoughts on John Piper’s “Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity” and T. Fall’s Rebuttal”

Christians Teaching That All Sexual Sins Are Equal – Thoughts and Reflections

Christians Teaching That All Sexual Sins Are Equal – Thoughts and Reflections

I found out that Janet Mefferd, (Christian personality – she had her own radio program until April 2015) – wrote this the other day, or today:

(Link):   Predators, Dangerous Deviants & J.D. Hall by Janet Mefferd

Here are a few excerpts:

  • You know the story by now, so I won’t rehash it. But on social media, I’ve been quite clear about my position on this rallying cry of:
  • Don’t judge Josh! He’s forgiven! Aren’t we all sinners? There but for the grace of God go I!”
  • To this simplistic mentality, I have said: “There’s more to this than just that.” Josh Duggar may have been forgiven by God, but he also got away with his sex crimes at the civil level. Read the online news reports for more on how that happened.
  • And a truly repentant sinner both repents before God and accepts the full legal consequences for any crimes he has committed, without equivocation, cover-up, excuse or carefully worded PR statements.
  • So again, I called for evangelicals to stop all this cheap-grace garbage and start addressing the problem of sexual abuse in our circles with more screening, more reporting and more compassion for the victims.
  • Now in airing my views on Josh Duggar out on social media, I apparently made some people mad. Par for the course; I am used to it. But soon, the barbs moved in a direction that really shocked me.
  • Some people actually started telling me that we’re all basically sexual predators at heart.
  • One follower informed me that “All 14-year-old boys want to molest girls.”
  • He went on to tell me, “We have all committed sexual assault, if only for a second, if only in the heart.”

Before I continue, I would like to say that no, I  personally have never, not once in my life, thought about, considered, or fantasized about raping or sexually assaulting another human being.

Me saying that I’ve never fantasized about sexually assaulting another person is not the same as claiming, “I am totally without sin and have never sinned.”

The Bible says that everyone sins and shows that they do so in their own way.

However, the Bible does not teach that all people are guilty of the same exact sorts of sins, or of every sin, or that all types sins are as equally severe as other types of sins.

I suppose the “Christians” saying these things – the ones claiming that everyone fantasizes about rape – must think they sound very pious, but they sound troubled and like lunatics. I do seriously think a lot of them probably need to visit mental health professionals.

You can visit that page ((Link):  Predators, Dangerous Deviants & J.D. Hall by Janet Mefferd) to get a better, more thorough idea of what’s going on, but in a nut shell, we have examples of Christians – and there are a lot of them, ever since the  (link): Duggar story and (link): Village Church story broke – who equate all sins.

As of late, on social media and on blogs, you can find some Christians saying off-the-wall things, such as, all Christian men think about rape, fantasize about raping women.

Continue reading “Christians Teaching That All Sexual Sins Are Equal – Thoughts and Reflections”

A Response To J D Hall’s Vomit-tastic Post about Village Church’s Handling of Certain Members, Covenants, and Marriages

A Response To J D Hall’s Vomit-tastic Post about Village Church’s Handling of Certain Members, Covenants, and Marriages 

Before we get to the post by J D Hall:

Background:

  • The Village Church (TVC) of Texas has placed Karen, who was once a member of theirs, under church discipline because she did not, according to them, abide by the church covenant she signed.
  • Instead of conferring with the church on what to do, Karen, on her own, sought an annulment from the state of Texas, once she discovered her then-spouse, Jordan, was a pedophile.
  • Karen said she spent about 50 days conferring with other Christians (not from the TVC), and in prayer, mulling over what to do, before seeking the annulment.
  • This action of hers has ticked off TVC leadership, because Karen did not get their permission to get the annulment.
  • Matt Chandler is the lead preacher of TVC.

You can read additional reporting of this situation here (additional material is at the bottom of this post):

Here is the page I am responding to:

(Link, off site): A Rational Response to the Criticism of Village Church  by  J D Hall, Pulpit and Pen blog

The covenant that Hall is so rigorously defending – TVC’s membership covenant – here does not even mention annulments.

As Karen explains (off site Link, Source):

  • …it is worth noting here that although The Village Church claims [in their e-mail] that “We see an annulment as a subcategory of what Scripture defines as a divorce in Mark 10:9” …, this cannot be found anywhere in their Membership Covenant or Bylaws.
  • In signing their Membership Covenant shortly after my 24th birthday, I had agreed to nothing in regards to the possibility of annulment should I come to realize that my marriage had been a complete sham from the beginning.
  • There is a vast difference between a divorce and a marriage that is voided on the grounds of fraud, and I had no way of knowing that the leadership of The Village Church would respond to it in this fashion.

Continue reading “A Response To J D Hall’s Vomit-tastic Post about Village Church’s Handling of Certain Members, Covenants, and Marriages”

Josh Duggar (Christian TV Personality) Resigns from Family Research Council after Child Sexual Abuse Allegations

Christian Josh Duggar Resigns from Family Research Council after Sexual Abuse Allegations

For anyone who may be new to this blog:

I’m pretty right wing, though not as right wing as I used to be, but I am not a liberal Democrat.

I don’t consider myself to be in agreement with most of left wing, secular feminism (though I reject Christian gender complementarianism, and feminism in my view is not the same thing as Christian egalitarianism), and I am not opposed to traditional values, the family, or to marriage.

Where I take issue with Christians and other right wingers pertains to their habit of taking family, marriage, and procreation to the point they deify each, and they exclude or ignore adult singles, child free people, and the childless.

There’s nothing wrong with marriage, or people having children, but there is something deeply wrong with a Christian culture that builds up marriage and natalism at the expense of anyone who does not fit those positions.

Although I am no fan of left wing politics or most left wing causes and values, I am not exactly fond of how obsessed some right wingers are with ramping up or participating in the culture wars.

I am especially perturbed, shocked, and disgusted by these news stories of well-known, or prominent, right wing Christians who loudly and regularly scream in favor of “defending the family” yet they themselves end up getting divorced (these same “pro family” groups usually shame divorced people for being divorced), or news leaks that they are secretly homosexual, or they are having heterosexual affairs.

The members of these same “pro family” groups have the audacity to usually cast adult singles, celibates, and the childfree, as being irresponsible, deficient, and immature – themselves violate their own ideals about marriage and family.

How dare these hypocrites accuse people such as myself – never married, childless adults who are celibate – of being sexually immoral or irresponsible and ungodly when they are not living out good values?

But still, Baptist, Reformed, and conservative evangelical Christians keep marching to this insulting drum beat that getting married and having children are necessary life events to make a person godly, mature, and loving.

I notice that some left wing types are using this Duggar story as an opportunity to say, “see, homosexuality is not so bad. How dare right wing, Family Values proponents knock on homosexuality as they do.”

I fail to see how a hetero guy molesting little girls somehow is proof that homosexuality is morally acceptable, anymore than it would prove a (Link): man having sex with a horse or a (Link): man having sex with his own biological daughter is acceptable.

(That a child molester has spoken out against X at some time but is guilty himself of Z, is not necessarily grounds to prove that X is okay.)

I appreciate the fact –  the hypocrisy –  that this Duggar guy was part of an organization that spoke out against homosexuality while himself guilty of prior sexual sin, but I don’t see where the Bible excuses either forms of sexual behavior: homosexuality or a teenaged boy molesting little girls.

(That’s all I care to say about that topic, as my blog does not focus a whole lot on the culture wars vis a vis homosexuality.)

This family has been featured on daily Christian television show “700 Club” at least once, possibly more, and one of the episodes that featured the Duggers was repeated two or more times over one to two years. I wrote a post about this a few years ago, I don’t know if I can find it again. Here it is:

I think Christian TV shows should be more careful about having some of these people on as examples or as role models, when they or their family members later turn out to be adulterers, sexists, or child molesters.

The 700 Club has had various “Christian celebrities” on who later were found guilty of child molesting, having affairs, getting divorced (after promoting a book about marriage, or going on about how “the Lord” made their marriage great), or in saying horrible things, like girls should be married by the time they are 16 years old, etc.

Here is the latest example of a “Christian” family who was interviewed on 700 Club, and who also paraded “family values” around constantly, but one of their family members was, according to several news sites, molesting girl relatives:

(Link):  Duggars reeling from Josh’s sex-abuse scandal

  • by Maria Puente, USA TODAY
  • 9:26 p.m. EDT May 21, 2015
  • The Duggars, the reality TV family famous for its progeny (19 Kids and Counting) and its conservatism, is reeling now that oldest son, Josh, has been forced to acknowledge he was investigated for molesting underage girls when he was a teenager in Arkansas.
  • His acknowledgement came after InTouch magazine published a story Thursday about police records it obtained from Springdale, Ark., hidden since 2006, that show Josh Duggar confessed to his father, Jim Bob Duggar, who then waited more than a year before contacting police about what his then 15-year-old son admitting doing to five girls.
  • Josh Duggar apologized Thursday and abruptly resigned his job at the Family Research Council in Washington, one of the leading conservative groups fighting abortion and gay marriage among other causes.

Continue reading “Josh Duggar (Christian TV Personality) Resigns from Family Research Council after Child Sexual Abuse Allegations”

Rebuttal To Anne Marie Miller’s Post About Modesty

Rebuttal To Anne Marie’s Post About Modesty

This post is sort of a continuation of my previous post (link to my previous post)

As to my previous post:

I tried the FlowerDust.net link (under the Singles category) which brought me here:

http://www.annemariemiller.com/

I have skimmed over some of her posts, and I’ve stopped to read the modesty one a bit more closely at this point.

DOUBLE STANDARD: CHRISTIANS TEACHING MODESTY IS PRIMARILY FOR WOMEN BUT NOT FOR MEN

At least, I take it that she is primarily concerned about female modesty, which itself is problematic, because if one is going to scold and lecture women not to be “immodest stumbling blocks,” one needs to give the same lectures to men, because there are visually oriented hetero women such as myself who get turned on by hot and sexy, near nude men, or men in swim trunks, or in-shape men in well cut suits, or men in T-shirts and tight jeans.

But Anne Miller doesn’t care about me and my temptation struggles – she only cares about men.

Here’s a link to her post:

(Link) Why All The “Modesty Conversations” Miss The Point

Begging your pardon, but 99% of Anne’s post misses the point about modesty discussions.

Here are some excerpts from her page:

  • You do have freedom. And I think the greatest freedom is to choose to say no to your freedom for the sake of another person.
  • That, my friend, is not freedom.
  • Let’s call it for what it is: entitlement. Many of us feel entitled to do what we want, to wear what we want, and to behave how we want to behave. Loving another is not about how we feel or even embracing our freedom.
  • True freedom is laying down your life for another.

PROBLEM IS MALE ENTITLEMENT

The real problem is Christian male entitlement, not an entitlement attitude by women. A woman simply choosing her wardrobe for the day is her going about her business, she is living life, she is not engaging in “entitlement.” I address the concept of male entitlement a little bit farther below, so I won’t get into that more here and now.

CHRISTIAN DOUBLE SPEAK AND REDEFINING WORDS

Christians constantly redefine the meanings of words so that they end up being the opposite of what they are.

Christians are forever shaming and guilt tripping one entire gender – usually females – and telling them that freedom is not really freedom.

Or, some Christians, such as Miller, define the word “freedom” to mean something akin to, “allow your life to be limited by what men want, feel, and need.” Telling me to give up my rights and preferences for another group of people, due to their potential weaknesses or for whatever other reason, is not freedom of any kind, no matter how you couch it.

These sorts of Christians – like Anne Marie Miller in this example – say that inhibiting yourself and your rights is actual freedom.

No, it’s not, I beg to differ, once more: you are  being a codependent doormat, allowing your choices in life to be dictated by other people’s wants and preferences and their potential to sin.

Continue reading “Rebuttal To Anne Marie Miller’s Post About Modesty”

It’s Almost Always “Mary” on The 700 Club Show – What Is Up With That?

It’s Almost Always “Mary” on The 700 Club Show

I watch The 700 Club TV almost every single day. I don’t know why. I just do.

There’s this part on the show where Pat Robertson and his co-host will pray for people in the audience.

Pat Robertson will sometimes call the person by name.

He might say, “And Hank… there is a ‘Hank’ out there asking for a healing from cancer.”

I’ve noticed that almost any time Robertson prays for a woman or a girl, he almost always says her name is “Mary” (or occasionally “Marie” or “Maria”), but it’s almost always “Mary.”

Today’s show was no exception.

When he prayed for someone in the audience, he said something like, “There is a five year old girl watching, I think her name is Mary, and she is upset that blah blah blah and is praying that God will help her with yada yada yada….”

I stopped listening closely after he mentioned her name.

About a week ago, Robertson was praying for someone in the audience, this time, it was an adult woman.

I can’t remember what the prayer was about, if it was for a healing or financial help, or whatever, but he said, “And there’s a woman named Mary, and she is praying for blah blah…”

In the past few years, I’ve heard him use “Mary” as the name of the person on his show.

I realize that “Mary” is a popular name, or once was at some point, but it seems almost every time I watch this show and Robertson prays for a woman (or a girl), he always says her name is “Mary.”

What is up with that?

Why does he never direct the prayer to women or girls named

  • Hannah, Becky, Tiffany, Amber, Britney, Sandra, Julia, Roberta, Peg, Marge, Christine, Rosa, Teresa, Eva, Patricia, Gabriela, Susanna, Katie, Robin, Heather, Sam, Nicole, Linda, Jackie, Bonnie, Edith, Ellen, Monica, Paige, Lois, Jill, Erin, Alicia, Geraldine, Clara, Rhonda, Gail, Wanda, Lisa, Gloria, Joyce, Ruth, Janet, Kathleen, Amy, Melissa, Brenda,

and I could go on and on?

Then you have more unusual names, like parents naming their daughters “Nutella” or “Shanequa.”

There are other names besides “Mary.” But Robertson almost always goes for “Mary” at prayer time on his show.

Christian Personality David Barton Thinks USA Needs Missionaries To Proselytize Marriage, Equates Adult Singlness to Sins Such as Violent Crime, Promiscuity

Christian Personality David Barton Thinks USA Needs Missionaries To Proselytize Marriage

Please do not get hung up on whether or not Barton is lying about visiting Russia, speaking Russian, or smuggling Bibles, as the story below focuses on, because that is not why I am blogging about this story.

I am blogging about this because Barton apparently thinks being single is a sin, which is in direct contradiction to what the Bible teaches; the Bible nowhere states that being married is preferable or better than being single, or that being single is a sin, or that it is sinful or wrong to not get married until thus- and- so an age.

Check out the excerpts.

(Link): Experts Dispute David Barton’s Claims About Translating for the Russian National Gymnastics Team

Excerpts:

  • April 10, 2015
  • by Warren Throckmorton
  • Earlier this week, (Link): David Barton told his Wallbuilders Live co-host Rick Green that he once was fluent in Russian, was asked to translate for the Russian National Gymnastics Team in 1976 and smuggled Bibles into the Soviet Union “back in the day.”  Here is the audio followed by the transcript:
  • Transcript:

    Barton: That’s right, and South Korea. South Korea, Nigeria, they’re sending missionaries to America like crazy. And of course, if I looked at the stats on America, yeah we’re number one in the world on violent crimes, yeah and promiscuity, sexuality yeah and out of wedlock births yeah and and lack of marriage yeah we need some missionaries here. We need somebody who can point us to the Bible…

Perhaps I am misunderstanding Barton’s comments, but it sounds to me as though he is equating adult singleness (“lack of marriage”) to being sinful, like violent crime is sinful, or promiscuity is sinful.

Please, David Barton, provide me with a Bible verse or teaching of Christ’s that says adult singleness, whether lifetime or not, is a sin.

You cannot find a single verse or teaching in the Bible where God frowns upon a person staying single, whether due to deliberate choice, or due to circumstance.

As a matter of fact, God moved the apostle Paul to write these words (link to Bible site) -that is,  that Bible Barton thinks people need “pointing to” explains that singleness is actually superior to marriage:

  •   Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.
  • …28  But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

Apostle Paul was apparently single. Are you saying that Paul is just as bad as a violent criminal or a promiscuous fornicator?

Jesus Christ never married, never had sex, and never had children. Were Jesus and Paul in sin for staying single?

No? Then why do you apply another set of standards to other Christians, and insist or imply other Christians are in sin if they stay single? Why are you equating adult singleness to promiscuity and violent crime?

And, by the way, there is no such thing as a “gift of singleness” or a “calling to singleness.”

Such teachings imply that God chooses and foreordains who will marry and who will not, when the New Testament explains marriage or singleness are personal decisions that God leaves up to each person, and God is fine with whatever choice a person goes with in this area.

I am insulted that this Christian writer and speaker dares to equate adult singleness to sexual promiscuity and other sins – God says in the Bible that he respects singleness and is fine with it. Who is Barton to teach otherwise?

Being married does not keep a person immune from sexual sin, nor will higher rates of marriage cut down on sexual sin.

I have many examples on my blog (link to my page of examples) of married people who commit adultery, married people who are into “wife swapping,” married men who are porn addicts, married men who have sex with horses, and married people who rape children – and many of these examples are of church-going, self-professing CHRISTIANS.

There is nothing inherent in being married that keeps a person safe from sexual sin.

The Bible does not say that people need to have missionaries speak to them to encourage them to get married, as though singles are in error for being single and need to be persuaded to “see the light” and convert to “marriage-ism”.

This Barton guy needs to apologize to adult singles everywhere for implying -and perhaps it was unintentional on his part, a poor choice of words – for equating celibate single adults to fornicators and violent criminals.

The Bible does not condemn singleness or celibacy; it celebrates both.

——————————

Related Posts:

(Link): Christian ‘historian’ David Barton: Allowing women to vote ‘hurts the entire culture and society’ and prohibiting the female vote kept the family together

(Link):  Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link):  The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States (as of 2014)

(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming

(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’

(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage

(Link): A Response by Colon to Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda

(Link): Gift of Singleness Gift of Celibacy Unbiblical – Those Terms and Teachings Contribute to Fornication / Editorial About Sex Surrogates

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift

(Link):  False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): “God’s gifting of singleness is rare” 

(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney

(Link): Misapplication of Biblical Verses About Fertility (also mentions early marriage) – a paper by J. McKeown

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link):  Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate and Virgin Shaming

(Link): P.T.S.D. is Not Biblical Says K. Copeland and Barton

(Link): Famous Evangelical (David Barton) Says Drinking Coffee is Destroying Marriage

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): Celibacy is Not Just for Homosexuals or Roman Catholic Priests / and a critique of a post at another blog

(Link): Husband Lying to Wife About Video Game Console Purchase Another Example of How Being Married Does Not Make A Person More Mature or Ethical

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Study: Couples Without Children Have Happier Marriages / Study: Having Kids Ruins Your Life

(Link):  Perverted Christian Married Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link): New ‘Christian Swingers’ Dating Site Offers Faithful Couples Chance to ‘Hookup’

(Link): Sex and Alzheimer’s – Selfish, Perverted Husband Rapes His Alzheimer’s Wife

(Link): According to Pastor – Jimmy Evans – It Takes One Man and Woman Married To Equal A Whole – so where does that leave Christian singles ?