Duggar pastor to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’
I have several news articles I wanted to blog about, a few pertain to Josh Duggar and the Ashley Madison hack (in addition to the link you see in this post, farther below). I don’t know how I’m going to get around to making all the posts I want to make.
There is so much wrong with this item I’m blogging about right now, I’m not sure where to begin.
I’m an unmarried adult over the age of 40. I don’t have a spouse to have sex with, so how does this Floyd dork (he’s head of the SBC) propose I not fall into the “sexual revolution”? See, churches never think about adult singles who may be trying to be celibate.
I get that, yes, this guy’s sermon was probably prompted by marital infidelity (the Josh Duggar Ashley Madison story), but think about how telling a mixed congregation (mixed as in never married adults, divorced, widowed, and married couples) that the way to get someone from falling into sexual sin is to have lots of marital sex with that person.
What are the divorced and other singles supposed to do, then? Preachers never consider how their sermons will impact or come across to the singles.
Secondly, Josh Duggar’s issue extends beyond adultery. He molested some of his sisters and a babysitter when he was a teen-aged boy.
Or, maybe I’m not putting it the right way, but I don’t think having more sex or consistent sex with a spouse is necessarily always going to keep a spouse from cheating, but preachers often present this advice as though marital sex is some kind of magical protection that will keep a married person from sexual sin.
Conversely, when or if a Christian husband commits adultery, rather than hold that husband squarely accountable for his sexual sin, which should be the proper course of action, sexist pig preachers, who often subscribe to gender complementarianism, blame the wives!
These preachers will often say that if a husband has an affair, it’s because the wife was not giving him enough sex, not the right kind of sex, or she “let herself go” (as in, she probably gained weight or whatever).
Famous Christians preacher Mark Driscoll and TV host Pat Robertson have been on record before as saying if a woman lets herself go, doesn’t “put out” enough, or nags her husband too much, all these behaviors can and will drive a man to cheat.
Not only is this attitude sexist, not only does it not put the blame squarely on the cheating man where it belongs, but, most often, it’s not even true.
I have seen interviews in years past with married men who admit they were cheating. They explain that they had affairs for reasons like they enjoyed feeling validated by another woman, or they were feeling depressed, or wanted excitement.
These same men said the problem or blame was not with their wives!
They said their wives were attractive, wonderful, pretty, sexy, put out enough great sex, and so forth. It’s not that these men were married to ugly, fat, frigid, nagging wives, but that they were bored or empty and trying to fill that empty spot, and they thought the way to fill it was by having affairs.
Look at professional golfer Tiger Woods. The guy was married to a drop dead gorgeous super model wife, and he still had numerous affairs on her. I saw photos online of some of his mistresses, and they were no where near as attractive as his wife.
Consider movie actress Halle Berry. She is gorgeous, a multi-millionaire, I’d take it. One of her former husbands (or long time boyfriend) cheated on her.
The fact is, you can be wealthy and sexy and your spouse might still have an affair on you; I’ve seen this happen over and over to rock singers and movie actors.
Being beautiful or having a lot of money is not necessarily going to keep a spouse from straying, yet most Christian preachers keep spreading this lie that if only you are sexy or pretty enough that this will keep your husband from straying.
This approach does not work for Hollywood actors, so what on earth makes these preachers think it will work for Christian married couples?
Considering that Josh Duggar was molesting his own sisters as a teen, I’d say there is maybe something more going on there than a randy guy who cannot “keep it in his pants.”
That is, I seriously doubt having more sex with his wife Anna would have kept this guy from signing up for porn sites, Tweeting at porn actresses, and paying $1500 to have sex with call girls.
Considering that Josh Duggar’s wife Anna had four of his babies in a five or six year time span, it’s obvious to me that they were having sex once in awhile. It’s not as though Anna was withholding sex all the time, if he was getting her pregnant once a year or so.
The only other angle I wonder about in all this is if Josh Duggar, due to his strict Quivering type upbringing, which pretty much presents women as being nothing more than baby factories, has a mind frame where he sees women as either being Virgin Marys or as Total Whores.
I would guess he views his wife as a pro-creational sex mate and the porn star he paid to have sex with as being good for recreational sex. He probably felt duty bound to have sex with his wife.
Based on what I’ve read of Quivering families, or some extreme Christian fundamentalist families, wives are for creating heirs; they are not for having enjoyable sex with. That is what a mistress or prostitute is for.
Also remember one theme I hammer on here on my blog is that much of Christian culture depicts single women (unmarried ones) as being horny slutty slut bags, but these same Christians depict married women as being un-interested in sex.
Ergo, one will often come across preachers in sermons or blogs guilting or shaming married women into “putting out” more often. Supposedly, married women hate sex and have to be shamed into having sex.
Sex and more sex is not always a solution to every problem in life, not even in married life. Sermons like the ones by Floyd covered in the following demonstrate a naive or ignorant view about sex.
To reiterate, sermons like the ones summarized below bother me because they almost always blame the wives. Women are always being blamed by the sexual sins of men, inside the Christian religion as well as others, such as Islam.
I think the guy below, Floyd, mentions men and women, but the undercurrent is always “blame women, even if the man is at fault – find some way to pin blame on the wife for the husband’s sexual sin.”
(Link): Duggar pastor [SBC Ronnie Floyd] to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’
- Aug 24, 2015, by T Gettys
- …The pastor [Ronnie Floyd] at the Duggar family’s church devoted his sermon to infidelity — which he blamed on pressures created by the “sexual revolution” — just days after Josh Duggar admitted to adultery when his Ashley Madison accounts were revealed.
- Ronnie Floyd — president of the Southern Baptist Convention and senior pastor of Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas, where the Duggars have attended — spoke against homosexuality, divorce and couples living together before marriage during Sunday’s sermon, reported People.
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