The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Advertisements

Those “God Brought Me My Spouse” Stories – Woman Says God Brought Her A Spouse on the Beach

Those “God Brought Me My Spouse” Stories – Woman Says God Brought Her A Spouse on the Beach

I’m really not supportive of these types of stories, the type that you see below.

When I was a teen and in my 20s, I would read Christian books and magazine articles. Every so often, I’d see an author claim that God answered her prayers by sending her a Christian spouse.

Now that I’m in my 40s and still not married – in spite of having faith and praying since youth that God would send me a great guy – I think these stories are fanciful and that they are aberrations.

I’m leaning more towards the opinion now that if you want to get married, it’s up to you to make it happen – by going to bars, asking friends to fix you up, going on dating sites – rather than expecting God to make it happen.

So, I find stories like the ones below misleading.

(Link):  Chance meeting on beach leads to marriage with godly man

– – Sunday, July 30, 2017

Thirty-four years ago this month, I was fresh out of college and earnestly seeking God’s will in my life. My heart was hungry for a godly man of outstanding character.

And though I had decided that compromise in this most critical of relationships was not an option, I was beginning to doubt whether a man of that quality could possibly exist, or if I would ever find him.

Little did I know that God already had set his answer to my prayers into motion.

Continue reading “Those “God Brought Me My Spouse” Stories – Woman Says God Brought Her A Spouse on the Beach”

Does Jesus Alone Really Fill That Empty Space? And: When God Acts Like An Atheist

Does Jesus Alone Really Fill That Empty Space? And: When God Acts Like An Atheist

I was wondering if anyone else reading this, who accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior (became a Christian), ever experiences a feeling that something is missing in you or your life, or if you ever feel as though there’s a hole in your heart, or if you ever feel an emptiness?

I do at times, and I don’t understand why, since I grew up hearing that everyone has this hole in their heart, and only Jesus can fill it. And, further, if you believe in Jesus, Christians say, that emptiness will go away. What if it does not? Or, what if it returns?

I’ve done the whole Jesus thing. I was a devout Christian for years and years, but at times I still feel as though something is missing.

Continue reading “Does Jesus Alone Really Fill That Empty Space? And: When God Acts Like An Atheist”

Viewer Asks Christian Hosts Why They Seldom Pray for Non-Physical Health Problems

I did a post not too long ago wondering the same thing this viewer did (located here), the one who wrote to a Christian TV asking why the hosts, when they pray for the audience, hardly ever pray for people to be healed of broken hearts, anxiety, or depression?

Why is it, that on this Christian show, almost every time they pray for viewers, the prayers are almost always about physical sickness, and occasionally, financial matters?

Continue reading “Viewer Asks Christian Hosts Why They Seldom Pray for Non-Physical Health Problems”

Pat Robertson’s Unrealistic, Unhelpful Advice to the Unemployed

Pat Robertson’s Unrealistic, Unhelpful Advice to the Unemployed

Pat Robertson is the main host of a Christian television program called “The 700 Club.” This program comes on Monday through Friday. He takes viewer questions at the end of many of the episodes.

I usually give out links to the episodes I discuss, but I didn’t plan on being online tonight, it’s growing late, I’m getting sleeping, and frankly, I’m too sleepy and lazy to google for the link.

On an episode of 700 Club that aired this week – the week of May 22, 2017, or possibly the last part of last week (like around May 18 or 19, 2017), Robertson took a question from some guy who was out of work.

It seems about twice per year, every year, Pat Robertson’s show receives a question from a lady or a man who says they are out of work, they have sent out hundreds of resumes, yet they are not getting employed, and nobody is even calling them in for job interviews.

They sometimes add that they pray constantly and ask God to send them a job, but so far, their prayers seem to be going un-heard, and they want to know why God isn’t helping them.

Continue reading “Pat Robertson’s Unrealistic, Unhelpful Advice to the Unemployed”

Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him

Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him

I almost forgot to blog about this. I really related to this guy’s letter (which I’ve included much farther below, both in text and video format – I’ve embedded the video that contains the letter at the bottom).

This guy wrote this question to the hosts of The 700 Club – Gordon Robertson was the host.

I wasn’t too impressed by Gordon’s response – I felt his reply was just “meh” or “so-so.” It was not an awful response, but I didn’t feel it was great and really answered the guy’s concern.

My interest, though, is not in Gordon’s reply, but in the guy’s question (or maybe it was a lady). This letter resonates with me so much. Sometimes I don’t know if God exists or not, and on some days, I skip praying, because some of the same 3 or 4 things I’ve been praying for over a period of ten or more years now have not been answered.

Either there is no God to hear my prayers, or he doesn’t keep the promises he makes in the Bible about meeting our needs and so on.

Continue reading “Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him”

When All We Hear from God is Silence by Diane Markins

When All We Hear from God is Silence by Diane Markins

I wanted to link to a page about a book by a woman whose name I believe is Kellie Lane, and her book title is “When God is Silent,” but I couldn’t find anything on her or her book – she was interviewed on “The 700 Club” this past week.

(Edit: I did find (Link): this page about her. She was in three abusive marriages, divorced all three, and prayed to God to send her a new spouse, which she later got.)

I did find this:

(Link): When All We Hear from God is Silence by D Markins

Excerpts:

 It happens to every single person alive, even to those whom theretofore hadn’t prayed – a time of desperation or longing when we cry out to God, “Fix this. Change this. Heal this.” And we hear nothing in response.

What does it mean when God is silent in the face of our anguished pleas? Does it mean He doesn’t care, or worse, He doesn’t even exist?

I’ve experienced the quiet echoes of prayers unanswered. When my mother lay in her hospital bed unconscious, doctors explained that her brain was dead and she’d never wake up. I begged God to prove them wrong. She never again responded to my voice or looked into my eyes and soon slipped away from this world permanently while God was silent.

Continue reading “When All We Hear from God is Silence by Diane Markins”

How to Deal with Unanswered Prayers via Pastor Bil Cornelius

How to Deal with Unanswered Prayers via Pastor Bil Cornelius 

According to the time stamp on You Tube, this sermon was uploaded in November 2016, but I don’t recall watching it then. I did see an airing of this episode on TBN this month, just the other day (Feb. 2017).

I was going in and out of the room as this sermon aired, so I missed a few parts of it. From what I heard, however, overall, it was a decent sermon. I didn’t hear too much victim-blaming in it.

Usually, when Christians address the topic of unanswered prayer, they get into victim-blaming; they will assume the reason God has not answered your prayer is you are at fault in some way. I don’t recall hearing too much of that in this sermon.

I will say that one aspect of this sermon that gives me some pause is when the pastor says that God’s answer may be “yes” to your prayer, but not “right now” because God is supposedly waiting for you to mature before he grants you whatever you are praying about.

Continue reading “How to Deal with Unanswered Prayers via Pastor Bil Cornelius”

Singleness: My Only Companion by E. Uwan

Singleness: My Only Companion by E. Uwan

This was originally sent to me by a Twitter friend of mine, ymmarta. So thank you to ymmarta to sending this link my way.

The following is written by a woman who has never been married, engaged, or had a boyfriend.

(Link): Singleness: My Only Companion by E. Uwan

Some excerpts:

I’ve never been in a serious relationship despite my desire to one day marry. God is teaching me to hold that desire loosely.

 … This is my story, this is my song: I am a 30-something single woman and I have never been in a dating relationship. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never brought anyone home to meet my family. I’ve never been pursued or even sought after.
Continue reading “Singleness: My Only Companion by E. Uwan”

Critique of Pastor Groeschel’s “I Want to Believe But…” Sermon Series (Re: Unanswered Prayer, etc)

Critique of Pastor Groeschel’s “I Want to Believe But…” Sermon Series

Christian Post recently published this summary of Groeschel’s sermons, and I take strong issue with it, which I will explain below the long excerpts from the page – but if I didn’t blog my criticisms of this guy’s sermon, I was going to go nuts -several of his points or assumptions annoyed me up the wall:

(Link): God Is Not Your Puppet, Says Pastor Craig Groeschel by A. Kumar

Here are some excerpts from that page, and I will comment on this below the excerpts, which is pretty long, so please bear with me:

Pastor Craig Groeschel, senior pastor of Life.Church, has started a new series, “I Want to Believe, But…,” to address difficulties some have in believing in God.

In the series’ first sermon on Sunday, the megachurch pastor dealt with the notion that God should give us exactly what we want and when we want it.
“God is too big to be a puppet of mine,” he stressed.

Some believe in God and others don’t, but there’s “a newer category of people that are saying, ‘I wanna believe in God but I’m struggling to,'” the popular pastor said as he introduced the (Link): series to the congregation on Sunday, the 21st anniversary of the church.

Continue reading “Critique of Pastor Groeschel’s “I Want to Believe But…” Sermon Series (Re: Unanswered Prayer, etc)”

One Foot in Christianity, One Foot in Agnosticism – In a Faith Crisis

One Foot in Christianity, One Foot in Agnosticism  – In a Faith Crisis

November 2016. (There is a moderate amount of swear words in the post below)

Some of the points in the post, in brief (the long explanation is below):

  • I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior before I was ten years old
  • I have read the entire Bible.
  • I spent many years reading books ABOUT the Bible (e.g., books about its formation and history)
  • I spent years reading Christian apologetic literature
    – so do NOT tell me that I “do not understand Christianity” or that I was “never a REAL Christian to start with”
  • I currently have doubts about the Christian faith and/or aspects of the Bible
  • I have not rejected Jesus Christ Himself
    (he’s pretty much Christianity’s only good feature or selling point, as far as I can see at this point)
  • I am not an atheist
  • I am not a Charismatic
  • I am not a “Word of Faither”
  • I was brought up under conservative, Southern Baptist and evangelical teachings and churches
  • Even though conservative Christians claim to believe in the Bible, they
    • cannot agree on what the Bible means or how to apply it – this is a huge problem as I see it in the faith
    • they diminish the role of the Holy Spirit or deny Him and that He can work for Christians today, because they are “hyper sola scriptura” and have reduced the Trinity to “Father, Son, and Holy Bible,” (this is also problematic),
      they usually do this because they are hyper-cessationist and paranoid or hateful of Charismatic teachings or practices
    • they teach that most to all of the biblical promises are not for Christians today but are only for the Jews of 5,000 years ago, there-by teaching that the Bible is NOT relevant for people today  (this is also problematic)
  • If you are a Christian, do not act like a smug dick about any of this and immediately disregard any points I have to make about God, the Bible, or other topics, because in your view, I am a “Non-Christian who was ‘never’ really saved” -not to mention, that is not even true.
    I was in fact “truly” saved, and I am / was, a “real” Christian.
  • No, I don’t want to enumerate a detailed list of reasons why I have doubts about God, the Bible, or the faith.If I were to provide such a list or explanation, your average Christian would only want to debate each and every point to argue me back into fully believing. (A witnessing tip to Christians: doing that sort of thing is NOT an effective way of “winning back a lost sheep to Jesus.”)

DETAILED EXPLANATION

I find that people who are both Christian and Non-Christian (and several other categories of people I bump into on Twitter and other sites) get frustrated when they cannot easily box me in.

People seem to be more comfortable with labels, but I’m not sure what label I would give myself these days.

I have briefly tried to explain my current religious beliefs on my Twitter bio, and I explain them a little more on my blog’s “About” page and have mentioned them in a post or two over the course of the last few years I’ve been blogging here.

Here is my background:

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior prior to turning the age of ten.

That means: I believed that Jesus took my sins upon himself, he was without sin, he paid the price for my sins, and was raised from the dead three days after having been crucified – and if I believe in all that, if I put “saving faith in” Jesus (as opposed to mere intellectual assent), my sins have been forgiven by God, and I go to heaven when I die.

I read the entire Bible through when I was 18 years old, and afterwards, I read a lot of the Bible in the years after. Prior to that age, I had read portions of the Bible when younger.

Continue reading “One Foot in Christianity, One Foot in Agnosticism – In a Faith Crisis”

Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman

Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman 

I am infuriated at Robertson’s response to this Gail woman who wrote to him. I am trying to keep my language clean in this post, but I want to cuss up a storm.

A woman named Gail wrote a question to Christian television host Pat Robertson. You can view her question and listen to Robertson’s response below (I will embed the video in this post).

Gail wrote to Pat Robertson (despite the fact I’ve tweeted several times over begging women of America to stop asking him for relationship advice – dang it Gail, have you not seen my warnings??) and Gail asked Robertson a question.

Gail wanted to know why all her female friends are married but she is not, even though she’s prayed and asked God to send her a husband. Gail also said she is having financial problems.

Robertson went on to shame and scold this woman. He said (to paraphrase) that she had a lot of egotistical nerve expecting God to just answer her prayers and plop a husband down in her lap. Robertson told Gail if she wants a husband or financial help to go out and work for it.  He implied that she is at fault in some way.

Continue reading “Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman”

Prayer and The 700 Club – Some Observations and Suggestions

Prayer and The 700 Club  – Some Observations and Suggestions

There’s this Christian TV show called “The 700 Club” that comes on Monday through Friday. During the show, the male and female host usually pray for people in the viewing audience, but most often for particular people, not just people in general.

The hosts of this television show will claim that God is speaking to them and telling them who to pray for.

For example, the lady host might say something like,

“There is someone in the audience named Britney. Britney, you have jaw problems. You find it painful to chew your food. I want you to know that God is healing that for you right now, in Jesus’ name!!”

Usually, the male host on the show is Pat Robertson, but sometimes, his son, Gordon is the male host. The female host is either a lady named Terri or a woman named Wendy.

In all my years of watching this show – which has been daily for over ten years – I’ve noticed a few things.

NAMES

One minor thing I’ve noticed is that whenever Pat mentions a name, it almost always starts with the letter “M.”

For example, Robertson will say,

“There is someone named Mary in the audience who has been praying for a healing…”

Or, the name might be “Marie,” “Marge” or “Margaret.”

Does God have a secret preference for people with names that start with the letter “M” or something?

MOST OFTEN ABOUT PHYSICAL HEALTH OR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

On a more serious note, it bothers me that about 99% of the time, when the hosts address issues during their prayer time, it’s usually about physical sickness, and if Pat Robertson is the male host, sometimes finances will be mentioned.

Rarely do the hosts address problems people have that do NOT pertain to physical health or finances.

Continue reading “Prayer and The 700 Club – Some Observations and Suggestions”

Over 30, Single and Very Content – via Relevant

Over 30, Single and Very Content

(Link):  Over 30, Single and Very Content

Excerpts:

It doesn’t just need to be a waiting period until marriage.
– – – – – – – – – – –

I am over 30 and single. There, I said it! It was tough but phew, it’s out there, now you know. Excuse me whilst I go hide under a rock from shame or embarrassment or both

…You wait and remain optimistic and you pray regularly (verging on obsessively, might I add) for that spouse, someone who will be the other half of you but after realizing potential husband number 23 was also just playing you while doing the same to six other girls, you start to lose heart.
…How did this happen? You watch each of your friends get married and wonder what you did wrong. Is this punishment for something, am I not trying hard enough, am I simply not “enough”?

On Not Filtering Every Choice Through the Bible

On Not Filtering Every Choice Through the Bible

This is one of those topics I’m working my way through right now. Maybe a year from now, my opinion will flip on it. But here is where I am now.

I was first made aware of this post from John Piper’s “Desiring God” web site via someone posting to SCCL Facebook group.

Here it is:

(Link):  How to Drink Orange Juice to the Glory of God by John Piper

Excerpts:

  • I said that one of my reasons for believing this comes from 1 Corinthians 10:31. “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I asked, “Is it sin to disobey this Biblical commandment?” Yes.
  • …Some of you then asked the practical question: Well, how do you “eat and drink” to the glory of God? Say, orange juice for breakfast?
  • ….Orange juice was “created to be received with thanksgiving by those whobelieve the truth.” Therefore, unbelievers cannot use orange juice for the purpose God intended—namely, as an occasion for heartfelt gratitude to God from a truth heart of faith.
  • But believers can, and this is how they glorify God. Their drinking orange juice is “sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.”

Yes, it’s an entire post explaining why and how Christians may drink Orange Juice to the glory of God.

This is a part of Christianity that I am glad to leave behind. In my faith crisis of the last few years, there have been some advantages to ceasing turning to the Bible as an authority in decision-making in life in every area.

Continue reading “On Not Filtering Every Choice Through the Bible”

Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

I first got wind of this story via SCCL Facebook group ((Link): Conversation about this topic at SCCL FB Group).

A link to a news article about the Mommy Blogger is much farther below. I wanted to say a few things before getting to the article.

The (ex?) mommy blogger in question, Josi Denise, says in one of her blog posts that a lot of mommy blogging is fake and too happy-clappy.

Denise’s critique of Mommy Blogging is reminiscent of my views on blogs or magazine articles by Christians pertaining to adult singleness, which you can read here:

I find that a lot of Christian-written material for adult singles is too sickeningly sweet.

There is an absence in most Christian-penned material for singles that honestly, really gets into and grapples with, how hard, painful, or disappointing it can be to be single into your 30s and older, when you had really expected or had hoped to marry.

Continue reading “Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs”

A Valentine for the Single Christian by K L Bishop

A Valentine for the Single Christian by K L Bishop

She says a lot of things in her post I’ve been saying on my blog for years. So if you appreciate some of the points I’ve been making on my blog, you should probably dig this.

(Link): A Valentine for the Single Christian by K L Bishop

Excerpts:

  • …. It seems that being single in the church is a difficult situation these days. Many churches have made marriage and family somewhat of an idol. There have probably been millions of sermons delivered on dating, courting, marriage, waiting for marriage, etc.
  • But it is not often that our pastors preach to the adult singles in the pews, or encourage people to embrace their singleness.

Continue reading “A Valentine for the Single Christian by K L Bishop”

Unanswered Prayer and Diversity of Doctrine and Biblical Intepretation (podcasts)

Unanswered Prayer and Diversity of Doctrine (podcasts)

I was going over some of the other broadcasts of the Christian apologetics show “Unbelieveable” when I saw at least two topics that I’ve addressed on my own blog before.

A couple of problems I’ve been having with the Christian faith, among several, are unanswered prayer and the fact that Christians cannot agree on what the Bible says, how to implement what it says.

I wonder what the point is in having a book that is supposedly written by God, if those who say they believe in that book (and who say that they believe in that same God) never- the- less do not agree on what the book teaches, and that some of them use that book to justify abusing people (financially, sexually, emotionally, physically).

You would think if God wrote a book (through men or otherwise) that he would make all of that book’s points abundantly clear so that his followers would not mess things up and get into prolonged disagreements about what the book means or how to carry out that book’s teachings.

I also note that Christians who defend prayer try to “explain away” what the biblical text says about prayer.

Jesus does in fact say in one or more of the Gospels that what ever you ask for in his name he will do – but as quasi-Christians like myself point out to the true believers, many times, your prayers will go unanswered, to which they reply, well, Jesus did not REALLY mean to say that whatever you ask for his name will come to pass.

Here are the links to the podcasts:

(Link):  Does prayer make sense? David Wilkinson vs Ed Atkinson – PODCAST

(Link):   Can Christianity be true if Christians can’t agree on doctrine? Andrew Whyte vs Nabeel Qureshi – PODCAST

The ex-Christian guy who is on that show who argues that the conflicting interpretations of the faith and the Bible are problematic for Christianity, or may imply that Christianity is false, has a You Tube channel where he makes videos on this topic. Here it is:

After listening to both those podcasts a couple of days ago, I was not completely satisfied with the responses given to the skeptics by the Christians.

It seems to me that some Christians really under-estimate how damaging some of these particular doubts or criticisms of the faith really are.

Despite that, both shows were still interesting to listen to, and I related to what the ex-Christians or the skeptics were saying.

—–

Here are previous posts I’ve blogged about these subjects before:

Diversity of Interpretation:

(Link): Christians Who Can’t Agree on Who The Old Testament Is For and When or If It Applies

(Link): More Musings about Applicability of the Old Testament, Via One Man’s Testimony About Jeremiah 29:11

(Link): Christians Once Again Trying to Explain Who The Bible’s Promises Are For – TGC Article

(Link): Pat Robertson Contradicts Himself On Healing and God’s Will

Unanswered Prayer:

(Link): Critique of Pastor Groeschel’s “I Want to Believe But…” Sermon Series

(Link):  How to Deal with Unanswered Prayers via Pastor Bil Cornelius 

(Link): Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him

(Link):   When All We Hear from God is Silence by Diane Markins

(Link):   Gordon Robertson’s Quasi Insensitive or Lacking Advice to Cancer Patient / Unanswered Prayer / Christians should just sometimes admit They Do Not Know

(Link): Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

(Link): On Prayer and Christ’s Comment to Grant You Anything You Ask in His Name

(Link): Gary Habermas joins Janet to discuss dealing with doubt in the Christian life (Re: Unanswered Prayer)

(Link):  When you show God you don’t want it, that’s when God will give it to you – according to Joel Osteen – I disagree

Additional:

(Link):  Gallup: Record Low 24% Believe Bible Is Literal Word of God (May 2017)

Marriage Isn’t For Everyone and Singleness is Not a Consolation Prize – by P. Lechner

Marriage Isn’t For Everyone and Singleness is Not a Consolation Prize

I have mixed feelings about this page I’m linking you to here.

There are parts of it that are good, and a few that I’m not so keen on. The Bible does not teach that singleness is a gift or calling, but the author of this page views it in that way.

I do like the author’s point that Christians need to stop treating singleness as being “less than” marriage.

As to the point that if you don’t want singleness, the author assures you this means God probably did not curse you with the GOS (gift of singleness), so he will probably send you a mate – this is a false teaching. I know the author means well but this is simply not taught in the biblical text.

It’s an assumption Christians make. I’m getting into my mid-40s now, and I still don’t have a spouse, and I’ve wanted to marry since I was a kid. All the wanting, hoping, and praying for a spouse does not mean God is going to send you one!

The Bible nowhere says, “Hey, if you really want marriage, it means God will send you a spouse, he won’t permit you to be single.” I do think there are other verses that teach if you really want something, pray for it, God SAYS he will send you whatever thing it is you are praying for, but this has not been true for me in regards to marriage.

I prayed my brains out for years for a spouse yet never got one. This can happen to you, too. I prayed for bread, but God gave me a rock, contra Christ’s promise that God doesn’t give lousy presents to his children who pray for good things. It beats me why God doesn’t keep promises he made in the Bible, but there you have it.

(Link): Marriage Isn’t For Everyone and Singleness is Not a Consolation Prize by Peyton Lechner

  • …In today’s society (especially in a Christian community, at a Christian college, in a Christian girl’s dorm), people believe there’s somebody out there for everyone. When I challenged a friend about this, she went so far as to say that people who remain single simply “never found their somebody.”
  • I hope that statement bothers you as much as it bothers me. Not only is it depressing to imagine people living and dying alone simply because they never crossed paths with the person they were meant to spend their lives with, but it’s also unbiblical. Even within a Christian community, where we often feel we have to defend the institution of marriage, we need to realize that some of us aren’t going to get married.
  • The “gift of singleness” should not be treated as a consolation prize or a nice way of saying you were just unlucky and never found “the one.” The gift of singleness should be considered of equal value to the gift of marriage. And for those of you afraid of ending up alone, I’d suggest you stop worrying. God gives us gifts according to what we can handle and what will best serve us spiritually. So if the idea of being single your whole life sounds like a fate worse than death, God probably wouldn’t pick that gift for you. I can’t claim to know anything for certain, but “If your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead?” (Luke 11:1)

A Prayer for When You Are Waiting on the Lord by C. Fox

A Prayer for When You Are Waiting on the Lord by C. Fox

Minor Blog Update:

  • I am not sure how much blogging I will be doing from here on out. I have some things going on.
  • I had something kind of crummy and stressful happen a few days ago, and something stressful may be coming up for me in a few months time, though I’m not sure about that.
  • I am not sure how often I will be on my Twitter page ((Link): About My Twitter Page). I might be able to Tweet more than I blog, I don’t know, since Tweeting doesn’t usually involve as much effort as posting a blog page.

Anyway. I just saw this page.  Most of this was pretty good.

(Link): A Prayer for When You Are Waiting on the Lord by C. Fox

Here are some excerpts:

  • Are you currently in a place of waiting? Perhaps you are waiting for a job, for healing, for restoration in a relationship, or for wisdom to know where you should go next.That place of waiting is a place we are all familiar with.
  • It’s a place we find ourselves in often over the course of our lives.
  • Though it’s a familiar place and one we know well, we can often grow wearing in our waiting. Sometimes our hearts grow heavy with worry and doubt. Sometimes we might wonder if God has forgotten about us or given up on us.
  • The Psalmist knew that place of waiting as well. His cry of “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (13:1) is one that resonates with our own heart. The Psalmist cried out to God in (Link): prayer and so should we. If you are in a place of waiting, this prayer is for you.
  • Father in Heaven,
  • I come before you with my heart filled with so many different thoughts and feelings. I am tense and uncertain about what I should be doing and where I should go. I feel weak and helpless. Powerless. I am worried about what happens next and whether I have the strength to handle it. Deep down I wonder, how long will I be here? Will I be stuck in this place of waiting forever?
  • And why am I here to begin with? What’s happening, Lord? But most of all, I wonder, where are you? Why haven’t you responded to my cries for help?
  • But even as I pray that, I know you are right where you’ve always said you would be. You’ve never left me and you will never forsake me.

Continue reading “A Prayer for When You Are Waiting on the Lord by C. Fox”