Teen Girl Gets Raped at Summer 2016 Baptist-Hosted Youth Event by Staff Cook

Teen Girl Gets Raped at Summer 2016 Baptist-Hosted Youth Event by Staff Cook

This sort of thing sends chills up my spine. I was raised by my Christian parents to ASSUME that Christian areas – such as churches and so on – are safe places to be, and a good place to meet single men to flirt with in the aim of getting married. But I continue to see news story after news story of girls and women who are raped, fondled, or secretly recorded on church grounds or at church-sponsored events (and by men who are Christians, too).

(Link):  Girl, 13, Allegedly Raped by Cook at Popular Church Summer Camp

March 2017

by L. Blair

The world’s largest church summer youth camp, hosted at a conference center owned and operated by the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, could come under greater scrutiny this year after it was alleged in a recent lawsuit that a 13-year-old girl was tied up and brutally raped by a 35-year-old cook last summer.

…In the civil lawsuit that names the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, Country Estates Baptist Church of Midwest City, and First Baptist Church of Terrell as defendants, the unidentified 13-year-old girl claims she was raped by camp cook Benjamin Lawrence Petty of Midwest City on June 16, 2016.

Continue reading “Teen Girl Gets Raped at Summer 2016 Baptist-Hosted Youth Event by Staff Cook”

Abusive North Carolina Church Dictates When, Where, Etc, Members May Have Sex

Abusive North Carolina Church Dictates When, Where, Etc, Members May Have Sex

I first read about this story about a week ago. I tweeted about it at least once. Now, several spiritual abuse blogs are covering it.

The following story kind of reminds me of one about a (Link): church in Ohio I blogged about a long time ago, where the Pastor ordered women in his church to get abortions, and he would ask the men at his church if he could look at their genitalia.

Regarding this church, the elders and preachers of it apparently controlled the sex lives of its members.

There is NO WAY I would tolerate this amount of abuse or control from any one, pastor or not. If I was at this woman’s church, and she started bossing me around, she’d get my middle finger in her face.

(Link): NC church has unconventional rules for sex and marriage

When it comes to relationships, marriage and sex, Word of Faith Fellowship members must follow strict and unusual rules — or risk severe punishment, former members say.

Some of the edicts:

— Congregants need permission from leader Jane Whaley and other ministers to get married, and it then can take months — or even a year — before the newlyweds are allowed to have sex.

— No one is allowed to date without permission, and most relationships and marriages are arranged by Whaley and ministers.

Continue reading “Abusive North Carolina Church Dictates When, Where, Etc, Members May Have Sex”

Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms

Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms

This commentary will be divided up among a few posts. Here is part 2.

(This post may be edited in the future to re-word things, polish things, add new thoughts or links)

More pages in this series:

Visit Part 1. | Part 3 |  A Response to Venker: Re: Personal Experience

Part 4

Introduction.

For those new to my blog:

I am a right winger. I was a Republican until recently. I am now a conservative Independent.

I was a conservative Christian for many years (I am no longer sure about what my religious views are), and I (Link): Am A Former Gender Complementarian (someone who believed in and lived out traditional gender roles, views which are based in large measure on incorrect interpretations and applications about gender in the Bible).

I sometimes agree with secular left wing feminists on some topics, but not always. At times, I disagree with secular and religious left wing feminists and have written several blog posts critiquing some of their views.

This series of blog posts is addressing the dating and relationship advice of author Suzanne Venker, who wrote a book called “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage” which she has lately been marketing online and on TV news shows.

Here is one article by Venker about her relationship views:

(Link, off site):  Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love by S. Venker


Venker, like many conservative authors, conflate the word or concept of “feminine” (and “nice“) with terms, behaviors, or concepts, such as, but not limited to, being passive, quiet, demure, agreeable, docile, and “being a doormat.”

I have no doubt that Venker, and women like her, would likely reject that she is asking women to be doormats – but that is precisely what she is doing when she asks women, as she does in the articles I have read, to give up certain behaviors, especially if those behaviors are part and parcel of a normal, healthy adult’s boundaries and identity.

And Venker is insisting women do these very damaging things, insisting that they inflict damage on themselves, change themselves, make themselves smaller, all for the goal of capturing a man while single, or to keeping one happy while married. This is most definitely a throw back to 1950s America and earlier.

We’re in 2017, Venker, please join us here.

By the way, the type of man who needs a woman to repress her fierce nature, true views, or her voice and needs, to “be happy” in a relationship, and not feel like he’s being bossed around, are usually highly insecure or selfish men. Such men are not worth dating or marrying or trying to cajole or placate in the first place.

Many Conservatives further conflate the term “feminine” with women refusing to get their own needs met, and with always putting a man’s needs before their own (or the needs of children or other women ahead of their own).

Being feminine is defined as, or thought of, or confused by many conservatives and with most complementarians, with being a 1950s television show June Cleaver housewife, as though that is the one and only appropriate way for a woman to be.

In a nutshell, conservatives (this would include Christian gender complementarians) confuse “being feminine,” or mistake “being feminine,” with Being Codependent.

Codependency is not healthy for girls, women, or for their relationships.

However, codependent behaviors and attitudes are applauded and expected in girls and women by much of culture (certainly by most conservatives), and complementarian Christians often mistakenly assume that God designed girls and women to be codependents. This is so, even though the Bible through-out warns against anyone, male or female, being codependent.

The word “nice” is also often confused by a lot of people, certainly by complementarians and by some conservatives, with codependency.

When someone is “nice,” this generally means she will exhibit codependent traits.

She will not be assertive and stand up for herself or insist on getting her own needs met, but will go through life doing such things as quietly enduring suffering as boyfriends cheat on her repeatedly, co-workers take advantage of her on the job, or a husband strikes her with his fist.

Continue reading “Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms”

Married Reformed Baptist Preacher Tom Chantry Indicted On Multiple Child Sex Abuse Counts and His Reformed Buddies Are Ticked This is Being Discussed Online by Other Christians

Married Reformed Baptist Preacher Indicted On Multiple Child Sex Abuse Counts and His Reformed Buddies Are Ticked This is Being Discussed Online by Other Christians

Warning: This post contains a few crass terms or salty language. There is an update below, and a new link or two.

Dec 27, 2016 update, from “Thou Art The Man” blog:

(Link): Chantry Jailed; ARBCA Appears To Have Covered Up Abuse


According to different sources I’ve read here, there, and around the internet, this guy who is in trouble for alleged child sex abuse, Tom Chantry, is married, a pastor, he worked at a church, and later worked at a Christian school of some kind, and he has some children of his own (though I am not clear if these are his biological kids or kids by his wife’s previous marriage – I think she may have been married before).

I’m not sure if am understanding correctly, but I think this Chantry guy may have been married twice. I might have that wrong – he might only have the one marriage.

Christians will often tell single Christians that they must abide by the “equally yoked” teaching, which they say means a single Christian can marry only another Christian.

I see no purpose in that restriction, since, first of all, it’s impractical (single female evangelicals out-number the male ones), and secondly, there is no difference overall, say, in behavior, between a professing Christian man and ordinary Non-Christian men.

I cannot think of any reason a normal, sane single Christian woman would want to marry, or stay married to, a professing Christian man who is a child molester.

News items like this also go to show that marriage does not make a person more sexually pure, ethical, godly, mature, or loving.

There is nothing intrinsic about marriage which causes a person to be more moral than someone who is not – if there were, I doubt the Bible would tell us humanity’s only “cure” for sin was Jesus Christ. The Bible would prescribe marriage for sin if marriage could “cure” anyone, but it does not.

Many conservative Christians continue to hold this attitude, and even to publish blog posts or give sermons, that suggest that there is something wrong or flawed with any adult being single past the age of 25 or 30. Christians continue to behave as though marriage is some sort of magical elixir that makes a person responsible, mature, godly, and loving.

Lastly, that even a perverted, gross, deviant alleged child molester is capable of getting married should also put to bed at long last the other conservative or evangelical Christian common teaching that God requires all single adults to be perfect, or “in shape,” before he will reward them with a spouse.

When we keep seeing (Link): so many stories of married Christian men who are arrested for child molesting, domestic violence, and all manner of other terrible things, reveals a person does not have to earn some level of perfection before God will permit that person to have a spouse.

To start, here is a news story about Chantry – with more commentary and more links below (there are other angles to this story):

(Link): Former Prescott pastor [Tom Chantry] charged with child molestation

A few excerpts:

by Scott Orr, Nov 26, 2016

PRESCOTT – A minister in the Baptist church, who left the area 10 years ago, has been indicted on multiple counts accusing him of sexually molesting children in 1995, 1996, and 1998 to 2001 while he was pastor of a church in Prescott.

Thomas Jonathan Chantry, 46, faces five counts of molestation of a child, related to two minors, and three counts of aggravated assault on three separate minors as well.

Continue reading “Married Reformed Baptist Preacher Tom Chantry Indicted On Multiple Child Sex Abuse Counts and His Reformed Buddies Are Ticked This is Being Discussed Online by Other Christians”

Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Churches Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Several spiritual abuse blogs covered this story, as well as a handful of mainstream media outlets. (Links to the story are farther below).

From what I’ve read, this adult married man raped a young lady. He was, I think, in his mid-30s at the time of the rape, and his victim was around 13 years old. (Some of these articles are saying he had more than one young victim.)

At the time this story broke, I believe he was working in a library.

One of the spiritual abuse blogs dug up the information that this guy’s current wife is his THIRD WIFE, and they have children (however, I am unclear if these kids are his biological kids with this third wife, or if they are her kids from a prior marriage).

This church in Tennessee was allowing this sicko to act as a bass player on stage during various church services.

Many conservative Christians like to teach this falsehood that being married and being a parent are vital to making a person mature, godly, ethical, and loving, which is so much BUNK and nonsense, considering we have stories such as this one, where a man has been married THREE times in his life but raped kids before.

How did being thrice married prevent this creep from sexually assaulting girls? It did not. Marriage is not some kind of special salve or condition that makes a person behave in a moral fashion.

Continue reading “Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church”

Christian University, Liberty University, Hires Guy for Athletic Director Role Who Ignored Gang Rape Reports by Women At His Previous College Employer – according to news reports

Christian University, Liberty University, Hires Guy for Atheletic Director Role Who Ignored Gang Rape Reports by Women At His Previous College Employer – according to news reports

I can’t say as though I am surprised by this story.

A lot of Christians and Christian institutions have sexist, out-dated views about women and sexual assault. They still blame women for being raped, while diminishing the role the male rapist plays in the rape.

Many of these conservative Christian groups, colleges, and persons (who tend to be “gender complementarian” in outlook) claim to care deeply about women and the safety of women, but their actions show they do not truly care about girls and women.

I find it hypocritical that so many conservative Christians place a lop-sided premium on a woman’s virginity (and no value on a man’s virginity), but they do nothing to safe-guard a woman’s virginity being taken from her against her will by a rapist.

Or, if a woman is raped and her virginity is taken (assuming she was a virgin at the time of the rape), these Christian groups, persons, and universities do nothing to hold the rapist accountable – or they seem very reluctant to do so.

Even under Old Testament laws, a male rapist had to marry his female victim or face other consequences (which was a way for a female rape victim in those days to avoid facing ostracism and other negative ramifications – not that I advocate for rape victims to have to marry their attackers). How strange that certain types Christians these days take rape less seriously than Old Testament cultures in some ways.

I am not comfortable with trans-women being allowed into women’s restrooms as I discuss (Link): in this post, and I see many conservative Christians are also wary of allowing men into women’s restrooms, and this fear is in large part due to the idea that men with bad motives will use Trans rules and laws to rape or otherwise sexually harass girls and women in areas once considered female-only (such as women’s bathrooms or locker rooms).

However, I wonder why those same Christians are so willing to have such lackadaisical attitudes towards women being raped by Christian men in or on Christian university sports programs or Christian campuses?

There are two different links below related to this story. First link:

(Link 1): Liberty University’s hiring of ex-Baylor AD sends a chilling message about sexual assault by Adam Kilgore

Excerpts:

Liberty and its president, Jerry Falwell Jr., hired a man in the midst of ongoing litigation relating to the high-profile disgrace that forced him from his old job.

McCaw ran the athletic program in which law firm Pepper Hamilton, tabbed by the school to perform an independent investigation, found “a failure to identify and respond to a pattern of sexual violence by a football player, to take action in response to reports of a sexual assault by multiple football players, and to take action in response to a report of dating violence.”

Evidently, that did not disqualify McCaw from landing the same position at Liberty.

Fifty-three percent of the roughly 15,000 students who attend Liberty University are women. How were they supposed to feel when they woke up Tuesday morning? How should their parents feel?

Continue reading “Christian University, Liberty University, Hires Guy for Athletic Director Role Who Ignored Gang Rape Reports by Women At His Previous College Employer – according to news reports”

Report: Sleazy Christian Celebrity Evangelist Clayton Jennings Uses Youth Ministry to Groom Young Women Into Casual Sex Then Offers Them Morning After Pill

Report: Sleazy Christian Celebrity Evangelist Uses Youth Ministry to Groom Young Women Into Casual Sex Then Offers Them Morning After Pill

This report comes by way of J. D. Hall, who I am not a fan of (I’ve blogged about him before). My Twitter acquaintance, DefendTheSheep, first tweeted the link to this page, which was written by Hall; she felt it was worth a look.

Even though I do not much care for Hall and consider him somewhat of a bully, I do think it’s good he’s shedding light on this instance of sexual abuse.

(Link): Celebrity Preacher Clayton Jennings: Sex, Alcohol, and the Morning After Pill

Updates:

(Link): Clayton Jennings: His Admission, New Victims and FAQ

(Link): Disgraced Evangelist Clayton Jennings Enlists “Mentor” Tony Nolan for Dramatic Apology Video

(Link): Clayton Jennings: His Victim Speaks Up

(Link): Revoked: Clayton Jennings Loses Ministry Endorsement of Home Church

(Link): Celebrity Preacher Loses ‘License’ After Wooed Women Come Forward Citing Sex, Booze & Morning-After Pill

(Link):  Evangelist Clayton Jennings Steps Away From Ministry After Multiple Sex Partners Come Forward (Dec 2016)

According to Hall’s report, this evangelist guy, Jennings, uses his ministry to groom young women into one-night stands.

According to Hall, Jennings targeted one young woman who he saw on Facebook – he contacted her first and began flirting with her (my understanding is that she was following his Facebook ministry page). He started messaging her, asking her to send him nude photos of herself.

She attempted to rebuff him, but Jennings was quite persistent. He told her he felt as though God wanted him to marry her, etc, and so on – lots of sweet talk.

It appears to me, based on Hall’s writing, as though this Jennings guy is using his ministry to exploit naive, young women who have terrible boundaries.

His pastor father stepped in to defend him, too. The whole family sounds like a family of dirt bags.

This is yet another example of why I encourage single, Christian women to drop the “equally yoked” teaching.

Continue reading “Report: Sleazy Christian Celebrity Evangelist Clayton Jennings Uses Youth Ministry to Groom Young Women Into Casual Sex Then Offers Them Morning After Pill”

30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp – Some of The Girls Say the Pastor Raped Them

30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp

(Link): 30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp

Sep 1, 2016

General Overseer, Tongue of Fire Restoration Ministry, Chukwuma Nkwocha, is now in the custody of police in Lagos for allegedly camping about 30 young girls as sex slaves.

The 38-year-old Nkwocha, whose church is located at Sogunle area of Lagos metropolis, was accused of sleeping with the young girls, whose ages range from 10 to 15 years.

The state Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO), SP Dolapo Badmos, confirmed the arrest of the GO. The PPRO said the Commissioner of Police, Mr. Fatai Owoseni, had ordered investigation into the case. She said: “The command rescued about 30 young girls from the pastor’s custody.

Two of them acknowledged he had canal knowledge of them. However, investigation is ongoing.”

(Link):  “I have only slept with one of them” Says General Overseer who was Allegedly Using over 30 Girls as Sex Slaves

The General Overseer of Tongue of Fire Ministry, Shogunle, Lagos, Chukwuma Nkwocha, 38, who was arrested by the police for camping over 30 teenagers in his house and using them as sex slaves, has said that he only slept with one of them.

Vanguard reports that one of the girls had reported to the police after she and the pastor had a misunderstanding.

Continue reading “30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp – Some of The Girls Say the Pastor Raped Them”

Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids

Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids

Several Christian blogs have been covering this story lately.

A married Christian father named Peter Newman is reported to have sexually assaulted under-aged boys that he met at a Christian camp called Kamp Kanakuk in Missouri.

A guy named Joe White is the CEO of Kanakuk Ministries, which includes Kamp Kanakuk.

Newman, the reports say, invited some of these boys over to camp property in off-season, after hours, or to his home – sometimes under the pretense of having them over for Bible study.

According to online news, Newman told some of the boys if they allowed him to masturbate them (or vice versa), it would eliminate sexual temptation for them. These reports say Newman also went on to sodomize these boys or perform oral sex on them (or them on him).

If I am understanding the blog coverage and secular news reports correctly, even though the Christians who ran the camp knew (yes, they knew) that this Newman guy was allegedly fondling children, they did nothing about it.

Further (again, if I am understanding the coverage correctly) Newman was later hired to work at Fellowship Memphis Church, a church which (Link): also protected another known sexual deviant who preyed on girls and women within their church during church hours, despite the fact the folks there were aware of his deviant history.

Of course I find child sexual abuse to be horrible, evil, and deviant.

However, the focus of my blog is not child abuse per se.

I tend to focus on the topic of adult singleness and issues that may be of interest to singles – such as how Christians love to discriminate against, or otherwise ignore, singles, and how they promote this bogus notion that married parents are morally superior to single, childless adults. So, when I link to stories about child abuse, it tends to be in a way that relates to singleness.

When I was reading up on this story – mostly skimming articles, I’ve been a little busy lately to devote much time to writing posts for this blog – I noted how some of the promotional work for this Newman guy by Christians at the camp kept emphasizing what  a godly, stand-up guy he supposedly is.

These Christian groups were saying he’s a real great example of “Family Values.”

At one point, the Christians (either the Christian camp or the church, I don’t recall which) had Newman work as a (get this!) speaker about sexual purity for teens at some Christian conference.

Continue reading “Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids”

Revolting Attitudes Towards Abused Wives From a Southern Baptist Seminary Student – Southern Baptists Don’t Make Marriage Sound Appealing / Christian Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

Revolting Attitudes Towards Abused Wives From a Southern Baptist Seminary Student – Southern Baptists Don’t Make Marriage Sound Appealing / Christian Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

Please consider that if you found this blog post from someone else sharing it on Twitter or Facebook, that the person (especially if a Christian) may not necessarily agree with all my statements and opinions in this post! They might only agree with portions of this message.


Earlier today, Christian Janeway (whom I follow on Twitter) re-tweeted someone else’s post about this guy’s post on Facebook, and awhile after that, Amy Smith (WatchKeep on Twitter) also shared screen caps of this guy’s Facebook posts.

You can see the guy’s post here (mobile Facebook page): (Link): Wife Beating

Here is the link to the regular (non mobile) version: (Link): Wife Beating

This “wife beating” post is in a group called “Friends of Biblical Counseling.”

I have warned readers of my blog before to stay away from Biblical Counseling (sometimes called “Nouthetic Counseling”) in a previous post, when I was giving Christian singles reading this blog this message:

(Link):  Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

I think the screen name of guy who posted this is named ‘Corriell Savannah Brotherwood,’ and his Facebook bio says he studies theology at SBTS (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary).

God help us all, or any abused woman this joker may counsel, should he become a pastor or counselor.

Wiki description of SBTS:

 The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, in Louisville, Kentucky, is the oldest of the six seminaries affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention.

This Brotherwood individual states in his post that he does not believe that a husband hitting his wife is sin, nor does he think the Bible permits an abused wife to divorce her husband.

Continue reading “Revolting Attitudes Towards Abused Wives From a Southern Baptist Seminary Student – Southern Baptists Don’t Make Marriage Sound Appealing / Christian Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching”

Teen-Raping Texas Pastor Gets life in Prison After using the Bible to Justify Abusing Women – Equally Yoked is BUNK

Teen-Raping Texas Pastor Gets life in Prison After using the Bible to Justify Abusing Women – Equally Yoked is BUNK

Far below is a link to a page about a pastor who raped girls in and from a church. Notice in the article how other church-goers who went to church with this guy described him as being “very nice” or as being a “good Christian.”

My Christian parents brought me up to think if I wanted to marry, that the best place for me to meet potential spouses would be at a church. I suppose the assumption with that is that the type of men who attend church regularly are going to be “safer” or better moral choices than the type of dude you might meet at a bar.

However, in the last few years of running this blog, I have seen (Link): so many news stories of church-going Christian men who get arrested for abuse or perversion, I now have my doubts about that.

Secondly, single women out-number single men in churches. I know that every church I’ve been to in person, I’ve been one of the few singles there. The only men in attendance and 80 years old, which would be fine if I were 80 too, but I’m not, and May December relationships (Link): make me want to barf. (I do not want to date or marry dudes who are over 5 or 10 years my age.)

I’ve done blog posts before about Pat Robertson, who has criticized women on his Christian TV show, for having married jerks, perverts, or abusers. Robertson seems to think women should be able to instantly spot if a man is a jerk, creep, loser, or abuser from the start. He’s wrong and an idiot about this.

The fact is, as this article below shows, even other adults who go to church with these kinds of deviant men are not aware of what a creep or pervert these guys are.

These are not people who are dating the guy – they are simply sitting next to him in church every week. If they cannot spot the perverts among them easily, why do Christian conservative men like Robertson think women who date men should be any better?

Continue reading “Teen-Raping Texas Pastor Gets life in Prison After using the Bible to Justify Abusing Women – Equally Yoked is BUNK”

Married Church Staffer Arrested for Secretly Filming Upskirt Videos of Girls, Women in Church Bathroom and While They Kneeled During Services – Equally Yoked is BUNK

Married Church Staffer Arrested for Secretly Filming Upskirt Videos of Girls, Women in Church Bathroom and While They Kneeled During Services – Equally Yoked is BUNK 

Way farther below in this post is a link to a news story about a married church staff guy who was a pervert. (I think I first saw this news story via @watchkeep’s Twitter account.)

My Christian parents brought me up to think if I wanted to marry, that the best place for me to meet potential spouses would be at a church. I suppose the assumption with that is that the type of men who attend church regularly are going to be “safer” or better moral choices than the type of dude you might meet at a bar.

However, in the last few years of running this blog, I have seen (Link): so many news stories of church-going Christian men who get arrested for abuse or perversion, I now have my doubts about that.

Secondly, single women out-number single men in churches. I know that every church I’ve been to in person, I’ve been one of the few singles there. The only men in attendance and 80 years old, which would be fine if I were 80 too, but I’m not, and May December relationships (Link): make me want to barf.

Below  is a news report of a church staffer who was caught secretly filming “upskirt” videos of girls and women in church bathrooms and during church services. That is bad enough as-is, but the report says that the church discouraged the women from contacting the police over this.

Continue reading “Married Church Staffer Arrested for Secretly Filming Upskirt Videos of Girls, Women in Church Bathroom and While They Kneeled During Services – Equally Yoked is BUNK”

Church Tries to Punish Girls Who Sued Over Sex Abuse by Outing Them – Singles: Don’t Take Dating Advice from Religious Groups Who Think It’s Acceptable to Harass Rape Victims – And Dump Equally Yoked Teaching

Church Tries to Punish Girls Who Sued Over Sex Abuse by Outing Them – Singles: Don’t Take Dating Advice from Religious Groups Who Think It’s Acceptable to Harass Rape Victims – And Dump Equally Yoked Teaching

This story is horrible enough as it is, and another indicator of how unsympathetic and awful churches are towards abuse victims of all kinds.

However, I also wanted to add this observation, as outlined in the next few paragraphs.

I was taught as a kid that Christian singles are only to marry other Christians, which is sometimes called “being equally yoked.”

My parents, who were Christians, would advise me when I was younger to seek out a spouse in a local church, if I wanted to marry.

In light of stories like the one I’m posting here, I don’t think I consider churches a good place to meet potential dates or mates any longer. I am questioning that.

If church members think it’s compassionate or acceptable to be hostile to child sex abusive victims and to protect the pedophile who assaulted them, one wonders how heartless and immoral the persons at that church must be in other areas, and how terrible their judgement concerning other things is.

Continue reading “Church Tries to Punish Girls Who Sued Over Sex Abuse by Outing Them – Singles: Don’t Take Dating Advice from Religious Groups Who Think It’s Acceptable to Harass Rape Victims – And Dump Equally Yoked Teaching”

Man Charged With Raping Teen Inside Church During Youth Meetings

Man Charged With Raping Teen Inside Church During Youth Meetings

And my Christian parents always told me as I was growing up that if I wanted to be married, that churches would be good places to spouse-hunt. I don’t think I am so keen on that idea anymore, considering all the perverts that attend churches.

The rapist in this story, Clunie – I am not sure if he is a Christian or not or claims to be one or not. Regardless, I think I may now have doubts about churches being good places to meet single men to date or marry.

(Link): Man Charged With Raping Teen Inside Church During Youth Meetings by  L. Blair

  • Travis Clunie, a 25-year-old man who allegedly raped a 15-year-old girl during youth meetings at a church in Sedalia, Missouri, has been slapped with second degree and statutory rape charges for his sins.
  • According to court papers cited by Fox 4 News, a few months ago Clunie raped the teen inside the church after she repeatedly told him “no.”
  •  

    The girl told investigators that Clunie assaulted her during youth meetings at the New Hope Baptist Church and had sex with her once in an upstairs bathroom and in another room at the church.

Continue reading “Man Charged With Raping Teen Inside Church During Youth Meetings”

Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders

Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders

I really don’t feel like devoting too much time on my blog to the topic of Transgenderism.

To date, I’ve done only 2 or 3 posts on the subject, one defending transgender people from criticisms by some Southern Baptist guy, and another that is critical of the transgender phenomenon.

Much farther down this post, I address a recent post by Libby Anne (of the “Love, Joy, Feminism” blog on Patheos) that pertains to Christians, child sexual abuse, and Transgender persons and the bathroom debate.

I would say I am mostly on the conservative side of the Transgender issue but appreciate that some conservatives can be too harsh towards Transgender people and may find myself agreeing with liberals on some of their comments on this sort of topic.

In other words, this is another subject where I neither totally agree with either conservatives or liberals, and I think both sides make good points in favor of their positions, and both sides sometimes make bad, unfair, rude, or stupid points.

messyToilet
“Coming Soon To Women’s Restrooms Everywhere” – (image first discovered on James D. Nichols Twitter)

I see a lot of misunderstanding by liberals of the conservative position on Transgender people using public restrooms.

I can’t speak to every single conservative or Christian who is opposed to Trans people using bathrooms, but there is definitely one component of conservatives and Christians who aren’t opposed to Trans people using opposite gender bathrooms per se.

In my case (as a conservative), I don’t know if I care if a biological male who wears a skirt uses a woman’s bathroom or not – it might make me uncomfortable, but that is not my big problem with this issue.

My problem resides in the fact that – damn, I don’t know all the liberal alphabet soup labels they slap on everything, is it Hetero CIS men? – my problem is that Hetero CIS men who are rapists will PRETEND to be Trans women so that they can have access to more female victims.

Continue reading “Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders”

Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom

Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom

I think I’ve long since given up on my parent’s idea that the way to meet a decent, kind, stand-up man to marry is at a church. (It’s a bit of a problem anyhow, since a lot of single men between the ages of 25 and 75 don’t attend churches much.)

I do not blog about every single story that I see come through my Twitter feed about Christian men (some who work as preachers) who are arrested for fondling teens, raping children, soliciting sex from minors, or having child sex abuse (aka child porn) collections.

If all I did was blog about those kind of stories, I would be on this blog 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It would be difficult for me to keep up with them all. (This blog post you see here, of this preacher who raped girls at his church, is the 3rd or 4th such story I’ve seen like this come through Twitter this week alone. And I saw a few similar stories last week and the week before.)

Not only is a guy saying he’s a Christian not a guarantee he is quality material, but this deviant guy is MARRIED.

A lot of Christians promote this untrue idea that being married is necessary to make a person fully mature, godly, and responsible. Obviously, being married does not make everyone mature and godly, because I have numerous stories like this one of married men who are guilty of raping children.

And obviously, a person does not have to reach some level of godliness or perfection – as some Christians teach – before they can land or earn a spouse on their own merit or from God. This guy is as imperfect and twisted as they come, yet he was married! God did not keep this man from getting a spouse and marrying.

So please, Christians out there, please stop advising adult singles – as some of you do – that if they are still single, it’s because God is “working on them,” God is trying to “clean them up to make them marriage material,” or they have to work on themselves to remove flaws or sins from their own life.

I am hard pressed to think of anyone more flawed and sick than a child rapist or an animal abuser, but it’s a fact that some stories you see in the news of child rapists and animal abusers are also married. It’s not a bunch of never-married adults out there raping children or harming animals.

(Link):  Arkansas pastor whose wife discovered his horrendous child porn collection will serve two life sentences over the rape of girls at his church

Continue reading “Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom”

Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

I spotted this link (shared farther down page) when it was shared on WatchKeep’s Twitter today. My blog is not about child sexual abuse per se. I tend to focus, most often, on issues surrounding adult singleness.

If you are an adult Christian single who wants to be married, please reconsider following the “Be equally yoked” teaching. Whether or not the guy in this news story I have in this blog post is a “true” Christian or not is beside the point.

You can date a Christian man who you believe to be a “true” Christian – maybe you met him at church (which is pretty rare because single males do not attend churches), or maybe you met him on a Christian dating site (which some Christian men have used to select rape victims), and he shows all the outward signs of “loving the Lord” and so on and so forth – but then it is revealed he is a child rapist.

Would you really want to discover the guy you married is a child rapist, or views child porn?

I also question the pastor of this church who is defending the child rapist: could you imagine marrying a preacher, who you would assume is a godly man, only to find out he blames child rape victims for having been raped?

Also be aware that pedophiles actively seek wife material at churches. That’s right, single Christian lady: some guy who is a pedophile may start flirting with you at church or in Sunday School, hoping you will date and marry him. I did (Link): a post about this several days ago.

(Link):  Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist

Excerpt:

  • April 15, 2016
  • A Kentucky pastor is defending the decision to allow a convicted sex offender [Thomas Hopper] to work at his church [Truth Apostolic Church].
  • … Hopper was convicted of rape and sodomy of a 13-year-old girl in the early 1990s, followed by multiple criminal convictions in the early 2000s.  …

Continue reading “Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching”

If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches

Some churches are refusing to hire people who admit on their job applications to having been sexually abused

If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches

Not only is child sexual abuse addressed on some of these employment forms, but according to these articles (links farther below), some churches ask applicants about their views on fornication, or if they’ve ever been accused of homosexuality.

I find this pretty hypocritical. If you’ve followed this blog before, you know I was waiting until marriage to have sex – as a result, I am now over 40 years of age and still a virgin, because I never married.

What I have observed as I’ve gotten older is that while many Christians pay “lip service” to respecting adult virginity or celibacy, that in practice, they do not.

Sometimes, some Christians (conservatives, no less, but also most progressives) ridicule and mock virginity, and they ridicule or put down adult virgins for being virgins. (Please see the links under the “Related Posts” at the bottom of this post for examples.)

Not only is there little to no philosophical, theological, or intellectual support for adult virginity (and by extension, adult singleness past one’s mid 20s or so), but there is no concrete support – churches and Christians seldom have ministries to meet the needs of adult single celibates.

There are rarely sermons preached on a regular basis on adult single celibacy – compare that to the topic of marriage. Most churches offer a “ten steps to a stronger marriage” type sermon series once every few weeks but never sermonize about singleness.

Continue reading “If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches”

Christian Author of a “Dude’s Guide to Marriage” Book Fired From Church Pastor Job for Inappropriate Behavior With Two Women

Christian Author of a “Dude’s Guide to Marriage” Book Fired From Church Pastor Job for Inappropriate Behavior With Two Women

I hope I am understanding this story correctly. This guy who was fired – the church who fired him (I think it was a church) – is being rather vague about it.

They did say in one of their released statements that this married pastor is not guilty of adultery, but that he did something inappropriate with two women.

Knowing what I know about conservative, evangelical Christianity and some of these Reformed guys, they will nit pick over how they describe sexual sin: this guy may not have strictly performed penis in the vagina sex on these other women, but I bet you anything he probably performed some other sexual sin.

Maybe this dude-bro pastor sent these women dirty text messages, unsolicited penis photos, they performed oral sex on him (or vice versa), or something else.

Christians who cover up sexual sins by pastors, or who try to diminish them, tend to be like former American president Bill Clinton when confronted on his dalliance with Lewinisky: they finely parse their language about it. They won’t come right out and say “this married pastor got a blow job from a hooker,” or what not, so they use euphemisms.

What kills me about this guy is that he’s apparently a gender complementarian preacher who has written books with titles such as “A Dude’s Guide to Marriage,” and some other book with a title like “How to Be a Manly Man.”

Continue reading “Christian Author of a “Dude’s Guide to Marriage” Book Fired From Church Pastor Job for Inappropriate Behavior With Two Women”

Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

I skimmed over this really long blog post, on Brent Detwiler’s site (link much farther below), about a guy, Caffery, who was jailed for pedophilia. Caffery has more than one victim, if I remember right.

Caffery wrote a book at one point claiming that belief in Christ changed his life for the better, and so on and so forth (amazingly, he was molesting kids while writing this book – during the same time frame).

Caffery also wrote (in a book or a letter to his church elders, I forget which) that he was afraid if his wife gave birth to a daughter, he would molest his own daughter, so he prayed and asked God for sons. His wife went on to give birth to all sons. (I think the blog post says he later had a daughter by his second wife.)

Let me pause here to say: if I were dating or engaged to a guy who told me this upfront, that he is afraid he might molest any kids we had together, I would take him at his word and dump his ass.

(I don’t know if the woman this guy married knew beforehand or not, I’m just saying if this happened to me, I would NOT stay with a guy who confessed such a thing to me.

Never, ever stay with a guy out of pity or a sense of duty – don’t feel sorry for Mr. “I might molest our kids if we have kids together” Pervert. Helping him or redeeming such a deviant is not your responsibility. Part of the reason I got sucked into my last disaster of an engagement was that I felt sorry for the guy.)

The part that really stood out to me in this blog post by DeWiler was when Caffery said after one wife divorced him, he went looking for a new wife at a large Christian church. I found this alarming and creepy.

Continue reading “Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles”