Single Women Are Outpacing Men in Homeownership by A. Diaz

Single Women Are Outpacing Men in Homeownership by A. Diaz

If my fellow conservatives get a wind of this news story, they will cry tears for men.

Unlike most other conservatives, I do acknowledge that sexism exists – even in the United States – that women have had to fight for rights we do have now.

I don’t think sexism in the USA is as bad as it is in other nations, especially ones with Islamic Sharia laws and so on – but women do still fight prejudices in the USA today – ones that men do not (eg., stereotypes such as but not limited to… women are not as logical as men, American conservative men either stating outright or (Link): suggesting that American women should not have the right to vote, women are too emotional, women are not as good at math as men, etc).

But I can just see conservative Tucker Carlson or editorialists at various conservative sites, such as PJ Media or The Federalist or whatever other sites, crying and weeping that single women now own more homes on their own than single men do.

As if we should pity men. I don’t pity men.  As if men are victims. Men are not victims. Men get more advantages than women do, and/or don’t face the same sexist double standards and obstacles that women do. Which doesn’t mean I want to give the boot to meritocracy (I do not).

I can just see Tucker Carlson, or some conservative pundit like him, inviting a sell-out conservative woman on to his show to discuss this news item, to argue that men have life so, so much harder than women do – no, they don’t, and I can see Tucker and guys like him trying to make this news story out to be some some kind of proof that sexism doesn’t actually exist at all in the USA (yes, it does).

(Link): Single women are outpacing men in homeownership

January 30, 2023
By Adriana Diaz

All the single ladies … are buying property.

Indeed, a recent study found that single women are outpacing single men in homeownership.

This new trend has come as a shock to many — and is bound to have long-term effects on the financial market and generations to come.

Single women own roughly 10.7 million homes in America, compared to 8.1 million owned by single men, according to a recent analysis from LendingTree that looked at 2021 census data.

The surprising development has spread nearly all across the country, with single women being more likely to own a home in 48 of 50 states — all but North and South Dakota.

Women dominate ownership at the highest rates in southern states like Louisiana, Alabama and South Carolina, which typically have cheaper home prices.

Meanwhile, Florida, Delaware and Maryland reported the widest gender gap among single homeowners. The Sunshine State has a 4.55% gap equating to 262,000 more single women owning homes than men.

North Dakota and South Dakota, the sole states where single men own more homes than single women, are known to be homes to job markets saturated with male-dominated professions, such as oil rigging and construction.

This recent discovery has shocked many who note the (Link): financial and societal setbacks that women in America face. Research has shown that women are also more likely to be (Link): skipped over for promotions, (Link): not taken seriously at work and (Link): forced out of the workforce

(Link): Women make an average of 83.1 cents for every dollar a man makes, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Continue reading “Single Women Are Outpacing Men in Homeownership by A. Diaz”

Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical

Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical

It’s more and more difficult for me to want to stick with the Christian faith at all when I see so few people who claim to be Christians actually consistently live out a Christian lifestyle, or who commit such obviously anti-biblical actions.

Also let this serve as yet another example of how “hyper pro marriage, hyper pro Nuclear Family” views put out by Christians simply is not true: Christian marriage didn’t make this couple more godly, mature, loving, or ethical, nor did this marriage improve society.

Further, Gender Complementarian teaching (which includes “male headship” teaching) is clearly false, since so many self professing Christian men are unethical dirt balls.

(Link): Pastor Who Used Homeless as Forced Labor, Three Others Plead Guilty to Benefits Fraud 

(Link): California pastor gets jail time for using homeless in benefits fraud scheme: ‘Appalling abuse of power’

Victor Gonzalez and wife were part of church labor trafficking scheme, according to prosecutors

by Jon Brown

A California pastor and his wife were sentenced to prison time earlier this month after pleading guilty to a charge related to what federal prosecutors described as a church labor trafficking scheme that victimized the homeless.

Victor Gonzalez, the head pastor of California-based Imperial Valley Ministries (IVM), was sentenced to six months in prison and another six months of house confinement after pleading guilty in a San Diego federal court to conspiracy to commit benefits fraud, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune.

His wife, Susan Gonzalez, who pleaded guilty to the same charge, received a time-served sentence.

Continue reading “Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical”

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

As someone who has no desire to marry a dude previously married and especially a previously married guy with kids from said previous marriage, I am on “Team Stacey” on this one.

I was always sexually responsible… I did not diddle around outside of marriage, because I didn’t want to get pregnant (birth control is not 100% effective, and I don’t believe in abortion).

If you’re divorced and you re-marry, it is not your new spouse’s job, obligation, or duty to emotionally or financially support your crotch fruit from your previous relationship. No psychologist, therapist, of family counselor out there can convince me otherwise.

And single parents can be huge hypocrites on this one – I used to lurk at child free forums filled with never-married, child free adults who said they keep noticing on dating sites and dating apps that the single parents say they expect YOU to be a loving, nurturing, considerate step-parent to their kids from a previous marriage,
they also specify in their dating profiles that they do not want YOU to have any kids of your own from one of your prior relationships
– those types of single parents can go f*ck themselves sideways.

The hypocrisy with single parents who demand you be okay with them already having children (and these are often also the same types who annoyingly insist on their profile pages that they and their kids are a “package deal,” and “you MUST ACCEPT THAT FULLY” – insert barf emoji here 🤮) while they are not okay with YOU already having kids (if you do), and they also demand that only child-free adults contact them for dating in their dating profiles – is astounding.

I myself never married, I was sexually abstinent, so I never had children, I did not want that responsibility, so I was sexually responsible. If you think I would be willing to take on parent-like responsibilities (or any at all) to YOUR children from your last relationship, think again.

This guy is entitled.

It’s not his second wife’s responsibility to care for his kids from a former marriage, financial or otherwise – and especially considering he pressured, demanded, forced her, or expected her, to pay for half of all household expenses, which his children from his first marriage benefit from.

But I can imagine a percentage of single parents out there RAGING at that – miffed at the idea that there are childless adults such as myself who don’t feel the least obligated to help them raise their kids from another partner. That’s how life goes.

My dating preferences and values are mine. I am not obligated to change them because someone else is having a total hissy fit due to poor life choices they made, and I refuse to go along with it.

I have no empathy for this guy. Zippo. His second wife owes his kids from Marriage One nothing, not in the form of financial support, not like how he is demanding.

Beyond the bare, bare minimum, the spouse owes nothing here – if one of the kids from the former marriage is getting eaten by an alligator, yes the non-biological parent should dial animal control, the police, or whomever one calls for help in such a situation to get the kid to safety – but beyond basics like that, NO.

This example below is why, if you are a never married, childless adult you never, ever date or marry someone with children from a previous relationship, unless perhaps those kids are out of the house and self-sufficient, unless you really, really relish the idea of raising someone else’s brats.

So this entitled guy has three children from his first marriage to “Hannah” and two children via his second wife, (who he calls “Stacey“) for a total of five children for him.

And notice that being a five time parent has not made this guy more loving, ethical, responsible, mature, or godly.

About the ONLY part of his letter that makes me think that Stacey, the second wife, is being unfair, weird, or unreasonable, is where he says she demands that he pay her the same amount in child care for THEIR children together that she sends the ex-wife (“Hannah”) in child support. I just find that very odd.

If the dude is already paying half of house-hold expenses (she’s paying the other half), I don’t see the need for that.

A dude should not be paying a current-wife “child support” for kids they have – if he’s already paying or partially paying for food, lodging, etc. I’ve never before heard of a current spouse paying child support to another current spouse.

That is just bizarre and too controlling or petty on the part of “Stacey.” But to the rest of it, no, I’m not on the husband’s side here.

(Link): Dad rages as wife refuses to pay for his kids from another marriage

by Christine Younan

The anonymous man has been left raging as he claims his wife refuses to pay “her fair share” when it comes to his children from another marriage. He opened up on Reddit

Oct 23 2022

….Now one man is raging as his wife won’t pay “her fair share” when it comes to his kids from another marriage.

The woman does however pay her half of the joint household expenses, which involve things for the children.

Taking the Reddit, the dad-of-five explained his point-of-view as he still supports his three sprogs with his ex-wife.

He said he’s been married to his wife Stacey [the second wife], 30, for about five years now and they share two children together.

The man wrote: “I also share three children with my ex-wife Hannah, 37.

“Ever since Stacey and I got together she has made it very clear to me that my three children are mine and Hannah’s responsibility, not hers. This has worked out well so far, but lately it has been taking a toll on me.

“I pay Hannah child support every month, ever since Stacey had our first child she has demanded that I give her the same amount of money each month to keep things ‘fair’.

“In addition, I have to pay for half of our joint household expenses (ie mortgage, utilities, food) and my own car. Stacey pays for the majority of expenses for our children.”

But the problem for the man is that his wife Stacey has an issue with covering expenses for his kids.

Continue reading “The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage”

“Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner

“Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner

Abuse comes in different types, not just in the physical form – abuse can be emotional, verbal, relational, sexual, or financial.

(Link): “Financial infidelity” is when a person hides or withholds money-related issues and decisions from their partner.

While many discuss sexual infidelity as a serious breach of trust, money-related cheating can sink relationships too.

by Arman Khan.
April 18, 2022

Vinod, a 38-year-old writer, believes that for some, love is a luxury and the price you’ve to pay for it could often be crushing. He said he learnt this the hard way when, nearly a decade before gay sex was decriminalised in India, his first boyfriend cheated him off money just because Vinod could not easily break off their relationship for the fear of crushing loneliness.

“He didn’t earn much and used to borrow money from me, which at first I thought was OK,” Vinod told VICE. “At first, he would tell me that he needed the money for commuting, food, buying clothes, paying bills, etc. But with time,  it became a habit for him to borrow without even batting an eyelid. I think somewhere down the line I got him used to it as well, which I shouldn’t have.”

Vinod would keep a note of how much money he was lending but when he started noticing how his boyfriend’s wallet would never emerge from his pocket, he started asking him where the money he lent him actually went.

Continue reading ““Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner”

British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money

British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money

The mind boggles – you run out of funds, so you off your spouse and yourself??? What???

Better to be single than married to a guy who thinks it’s acceptable to strangle you to death when your finances go down the drain.

(Link): British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money

by Nick Fagge
April 26, 2022

These are the first pictures of a British couple whose dream of opening a bed and breakfast in the foothills of the Pyrenees Mountains ended in tragedy when they ran out of money.

French investigators believe John Boyes, 64, strangled his wife Kathryn, 65, to death before hanging himself at their picturesque countryside home near Toulouse in the south of France which they had planned to open as a bed and breakfast.

The couple were found dead inside the property in Boudrac, a village with a population of around 130 people, on Sunday after concerned friends who had not heard from them in several days went to investigate.

Continue reading “British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money”

The Many Ways Single People Are Treated Unfairly at Work by Bella DePaulo

The Many Ways Single People Are Treated Unfairly at Work by Bella DePaulo

(Link): The Many Ways Single People Are Treated Unfairly at Work by Bella DePaulo


Is it okay to ask singles to cover for their married coworkers? What about paying singles less? In a pandemic, should singles be allowed to opt out even if they are not in a risk category?

I’ve been studying singlism for a long time. Sometimes I think I’ve heard all the stereotypes, all the unfair expectations, and all the examples of discrimination against single people, and nothing will surprise me. But then I get surprised all over again.

That happened when someone emailed me, a few months before the pandemic, to see whether I would answer some questions about singles in the workplace.

I’m not going to name him, but he is someone who has written a lot and whose thinking is taken seriously.

When I first read his questions, I thought he wasn’t serious. Maybe he was just trying to get a rise out of me. But no, he was serious.

First, I’ll list three of the questions I was asked, so you can take a look for yourself and see what you think.

Then I’ll share my answers.

I’m also adding one more question, not from the person who asked me the first three, about what is expected of single workers during the pandemic.

How Would You Answer These Questions?

#1 “A boss tells an employee, “You’re single. You don’t have to race home for your spouse or kids. Someone’s got to get this work done tonight, so it seems fair I ask you to stay late.” That boss might also use that rationale to have you travel on weekends, show up on holidays, even accept a transfer to some far-flung place. But isn’t that fair?”

What’s interesting about that question is that today, in the 21st century, people will ask it totally unselfconsciously and unapologetically.

That includes the most progressive and open-minded people, people in the intellectual vanguard, who would never in a million years see themselves as being unfair to other people.

Many people still don’t understand unfairness to single people — what I call (Link): singlism — so it is easier to explain by thinking about it in terms of prejudices we do understand.

Continue reading “The Many Ways Single People Are Treated Unfairly at Work by Bella DePaulo”

The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report

The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report

(Link): The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report

Madison, Wisconsin, was at the top of WalletHub’s list

By Ann Schmidt

If you’re single, you might want to consider relocating to Madison, Wisconsin.

That’s according to a recent report from WalletHub, which found the best cities for singles. Madison was at the top of the list.

Continue reading “The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report”

My Fiancé Postponed our Wedding, Secretly Bought a House—and Told me I Could Pay Rent By Quentin Fottrell

My Fiancé Postponed our Wedding, Secretly Bought a House—and Told me I Could Pay Rent By Quentin Fottrell

What a jerk-face loser.

(Link): My fiancé postponed our wedding, secretly bought a house—and told me I could pay rent By Quentin Fottrell

They were due to get married on April 18, but he delayed the wedding and bought a house instead

Dear Moneyist,

I have never been married or bought a home before. The guy I am with said we would marry on April 18.

He then decided to delay and buy a foreclosure and told me this all on April 16.

I was shocked, to say the least. He owns a home already and said that he did not plan to put me on the mortgage or deed even after we were married. I, again, was in shock. He said I could just pay some of the bills and “rent” to him.

Continue reading “My Fiancé Postponed our Wedding, Secretly Bought a House—and Told me I Could Pay Rent By Quentin Fottrell”

Christian Charity Head Admits Using Donations for Sex Habit

Christian Charity Head Admits Using Donations for Sex Habit

This article says that this guy is married (or was at one point; I have no idea if he’s still married to his wife or not).

Christians often think that married people are more sexually pure and moral than adult singles – they will often refuse to allow adult singles to serve in leadership positions in churches, one reason being, they assume that the single will “hit on” or start affairs with other people.

But if you will notice, the majority of news stories about Christians who are involved in affairs or looking at child porn and what have you, are MARRIED persons, NOT singles.

Which is not to say there are not self-professing Christian singles who aren’t sexually sinning, because there sure as heck are, but I’m so tired of this Christian stereotype that married people are as pure as the freshly driven snow, while we singles are supposedly a bunch of over-sexed horn dogs.

I myself am over the age of 40, and I am celibate. I am more sexually up-right than a lot of Christian married people. So Christians who harbor these stereotypes about singles being Jezebel harlots and married people being sexually pure can kiss my butt.

By the way, does the “be equally yoked” rule Christians apply to marriage REALLY MATTER when the “Christian” husband ends up cheating on his wife by using pornography or prostitutes or he has a mistress?

Does this example REALLY up-hold the Christian teaching that God expects a person to be mature or godly before he will permit him or her to have a spouse? No, it does not.

If God expected people to be totally moral, ethical, mature, and godly before allowing them to have a spouse, the idiot in this news story would still be single – but he’s not. He has a wife (or did. I am not clear if the wife is still with him or not).

(Link): Director of Cedar Rapids nonprofit skimmed donations to support ‘sex addiction’

(Link): Christian charity head admits using donations for sex habit 

(Link): Christian Charity Head Admits Using Donations for Sex Habit

  • by R. Roley
  • May 2016
  • The president of a Christian charity in Iowa admitted that he embezzled nearly a half-million dollars in donations and used the money to pay for a sex addiction, federal prosecutors said Tuesday.
  • Jon S. Petersen, of Cedar Rapids, pleaded guilty Monday to one count of filing a false tax return. He was released from custody pending a sentencing hearing, which hasn’t been scheduled.
  • Petersen, 55, is the longtime president of World Ambassadors, Ltd., a nonprofit he founded with his wife in 1993 to provide a Christian outreach to international students on college campuses.

Continue reading “Christian Charity Head Admits Using Donations for Sex Habit”

No Man’s Land – Between Agnosticism and Christianity / Also: It’s Emotional Not Intellectual (Part 1)

No Man’s Land – Between Agnosticism and Christianity / Also: It’s Emotional Not Intellectual (PART 1)

This will be a series of posts where my thoughts wander in and out and all over, and it rambles, but there is a point or two behind it.

Since I’ve been in a faith crisis the last couple of years, somewhere between being an agnostic and a Christian, I have noticed I don’t fit in anywhere. I reside in No Man’s Land.

(Even before then, when I was a total, committed Christian, and politically, I was, and am, right wing, I still didn’t fit in at most blogs and forums, including political ones, and including ones for right wingers!

I tend to be one of those personalities who annoys or angers everyone, even those on “my side” of an issue, except a small number of people, who are either on my side of a topic or not, who “get me” or who appreciate where I’m coming from – again, this is true for even the ones who disagree with me on whatever topic we are discussing.)

I am in this really weird place now, where I am critical of some aspects of conservative Christianity, and see where conservative Christians get some doctrines and other things wrong, but, too, I am not fully on board with militant atheism (I find the New Atheists to be arrogant, vile, hateful and rude), and I don’t even care for lukewarm atheism.

Nor am I in the camp of anything and all things liberal Christianity, except where I think they get the occasional point correct (such as their rejection of gender complementarianism).

Since drifting away from the Christian faith more the last few years, I more often began frequenting forums or blogs for and by atheists, ones by liberal Christians, ones by ex Christians, or by Christians who were abused by a former church who remain Christian but who dropped out of Church, or who now are on a crusade to expose abuse by preachers or the absurdity and harm of current evangelical gimmicks.


A clarification: when I say I have been visiting atheist forums and blogs more often, I am very picky about which ones I regularly visit.

I do not like the frothing- at- the- mouth, extremely bitter, biased- against- Christians- type atheistic communities.

The bitter atheist groups sound like a bunch of irrational, hate-filled loons who reject Christianity for emotional reasons, but who lie to others and themselves and say, “Oh no, it’s purely intellectual.”

But their unrelenting, insane amount of hatred at any and all things God and Christian, is just a total turn-off to me, so I try to avoid such sites.

These angry, always-ranting atheists are really nothing more than Fundamentalist Atheists or Taliban Atheists. They are just as dogmatic about their atheism as Muslims are in their Wasabi Islam or Baptists are in their Neo Fundamentalism.

Really, those types of atheists are just as bad as the religious groups they claim they hate, but they don’t seem to spot that they are. It’s ironic – and it’s hard to stomach the day in, day out anger and hatred, so I try to avoid their sites.


Also, you have to be honest with yourself, which I do not find militant atheists to be, by and large: not every single Christian is a hypocrite, jerk, idiot, dullard, or complete jackhole.

I say this as someone who is very fed up with Christianity and Christian persons myself these days.

But your average militant atheist will never admit that some Christians are in fact okay and not being hypocrites.

I have known and met a few Christians who were sincerely trying to live the Christian faith out, such as my mother, who is now deceased, and her mother before her (my grandmother).

I’ve met a few honest, sincere Christians online who do help people and show compassion to the wounded.

So it’s not fair to completely dismiss the entirety of Christians and their faith or treat them all like jerks because some are liars, mean, or abusive.

Which is not easy for me personally, because at the same time, I do keep noticing that a lot of self-professing believers do NOT live out what the Bible says.

Many self professing Christians today, for example, do not protect victims, such as young church members who have been sexually molested by preachers.

Nor do many church goers today hold accountable preachers who bilk their church goers out of millions to buy big mansions and jets.

These idiots, these lemmings, actually defend their greedy pastors online, which I’ve written about here: (Link): Your Preacher Sucks – and People Have a Right To Say So And Explain Why.

Then you have a conservative or evangelical culture, which claims to care deeply that people preserve sex until marriage, but if you actually find yourself 40 years of age and still single – and therefore still a virgin, such as myself – these same churches and Christians do not offer you any support.

You either go ignored, or preachers and talking heads of such groups “run down” and insult celibacy as well as older, celibate adults. Churches treat single (and especially celibate) adults as though they are flawed, lepers, weirdos, or losers.

Churches wrongly counsel abused wives to return to their spouses – this is particularly true, again, of churches or Christian groups who buy into “biblical womanhood” (aka “gender complementariansm”) or “patriarchy.”

Churches and average Christians also remain ignorant or callous about matters pertaining to mental health issues, from P.T.S.D. to depression and anxiety attacks.

Some Christians wrongly and insensitively teach that “real Christians” can never get depression or other mental health maladies.

Or, some Christians believe and teach that prayer, faith, service to the poor, or Bible reading alone can cure one of mental illness.

Still other Christians (or the same type) will shame and guilt suffering Christians for using anti-depressant medications, or for seeing secular or Christian psychiatrists and therapists (see this link for more, “Over 50 Percent of Christians Believe Prayer, Bible Reading Alone Can Cure Mental Illness (article) – In Other Words Half of Christians are Ignorant Idiots Regarding Mental Illness”).

Yet other Christians are incompetent at, or unwilling, to provide more ordinary, “every day,” run- of- the- mill comfort to other Christians who are hurting, such as a Christian who is stressed out over a job loss, someone who is in mourning for a deceased loved one, etc.

Christians are dropping the ball in numerous ways.

And this failure, this huge failure, causes life long Christians like me to look long and hard at the faith and wonder if it’s true at all.

It causes even someone such as myself to ask if the faith is true, because

  • it doesn’t appear to be working,
  • it doesn’t make a difference in people’s life who profess it,
  • most who claim to follow Christ don’t actually do what he taught,
  • and some Christians refuse to hold Christians caught in bald faced sin accountable but excuse them for the sin,

~ and it makes you wonder “what is the point, then.”

I find this discrepancy between confessed belief and actual practice shocking, because I myself sincerely tried living out the faith since childhood.

Also, my Christian mother was a role model for me, and she genuinely, consistently lived out and by biblical teachings, including getting up off her ass and actually HELPING people (giving them money if they were in a bind, cleaning their homes for them when they were sick, listening to them cry and rant about their problems for hours without judging them or interrupting them, etc).

I am not seeing most other Christians do any of this. They say they believe in those things but then they do not do them.


Before I actually get into this topic (which I discuss more in Posts 2 and 3), here is some background leading up to it.

As far as the sites I have visited by liberal Christians, ex Christians, atheists, as well as sites by Christians for the spiritually abused:

By and large, these have been wonderful, supportive sites and groups to visit (the ones run by Christians for hurting Christians).

I have noticed, though, that there are problems even within these types of communities, and I don’t entirely fit in at them, either.

Continue reading “No Man’s Land – Between Agnosticism and Christianity / Also: It’s Emotional Not Intellectual (Part 1)”

Why Nobody Wants To Go To Church Anymore (book)

Why Nobody Wants To Go To Church Anymore

I have not read this book myself but am interested in reading it.

Of course, one reason of many I do not go anymore is because churches are “family friendly,” meaning, they ignore or mistreat anyone who is NOT married and who does not have children.

One thing making this drop in attendance even worse? The Christian Neo Reformed guys online who treat church membership or attendance as though it is not voluntary: churches have been harassing people who have stopped attending, called up churches in the quitter’s new city to get them in trouble with any new churches in the area, etc.

Another reason: a lot of churches today are very, very greedy and shake members down for money. Churches today are more like corporations, less like what the Bible says the body of Christ is meant to be.

Other reasons: Christians suck ass at showing compassion for people who have mental health problems, they cover up child abuse that happens among their members, and they treat abused wives like trash (they actually counsel abused wives to return to their dirt bag husbands).

Also: the pushing of “biblical manhood and womanhood roles,” also known as “gender complmentarianism.” That keeps me away.

(Link): Why Nobody Wants To Go To Church Anymore

    In an effort to summarize his views, the author attempted to answer this curiosity by providing four potential problems and solutions based on interviews he and his wife, Joani, conducted with Americans across the country:

    1) Schultz argues that people feel judged, so he proposes “radical hospitality,” which essentially means embracing a church paradigm of full acceptance. “We don’t mean endorse, but we mean accept the person,” he said. “We feel that that’s a Christ-like approach to things.”

    2) As for the lack of two-way dialogue, Schultz encourages “fearless conversation” — which means incorporating numerous viewpoints rather than simply lecturing. ”By that title, it’s really emphasizing both of those words,” he told TheBlaze. “People want to be involved in the conversation.” So, he is encouraging people to speak boldly on principle, but to also share ideas.

    3) Schultz said that many believers and non-believers, alike, claim that “Christians are hypocrites” — and that this mindset is increasing. To stem the critique, the author is calling for “genuine humility.” This is the notion that life is a journey that everyone is on together. Being humble and truly addressing issues without giving the appearance of being above it all is essential under this proposed solution.

    4) With so many critics also arguing that God is distant and dead, Schultz believes that Christian churches need to re-tune their messaging and implement “divine anticipation.” “In many churches we have either forgotten to talk about God or the primary and almost only mention of God is from Bible times,” he said. “The Bible is a wonderful tool for us to use … but if we give the impression that God [only] acted thousands of years ago, we’ve given the impression that God only did good things back then — and that he either died or went away.”

    Schultz told TheBlaze that there’s clearly a problem in the church that many believers simply aren’t recognizing. While some argue that church attendance is cyclical, he says there’s no indication that an upswing is on the horizon — unless something changes profoundly within Christian circles.

    Without a doubt, the proportion of people going to church has decreased, though modestly, over the past few decades. While it may not be shocking or stark on the surface, an overall decline is causing people like Schultz to pause and critically examine what’s truly going on.

    The Pew Research Center recently noted that the proportion of Americans who “seldom” or “never” attend church has risen modestly over the past 10 years. In 2003, 25 percent Americans fell into this category, but in 2013, that proportion has increased to 29 percent. On the flip side, 37 percent say that they attend at least weekly; this has decreased only two percentage points when compared to 2003 data.

    Continue reading “Why Nobody Wants To Go To Church Anymore (book)”

Getting People Back to Church / Christian Event Targeting ‘Apathetic’ Youth *BARF*

Getting People Back to Church / Christian Event Targeting ‘Apathetic’ Youth *BARF*

I have a few theories as to why people have stopped attending church regularly, which I won’t get into here.

I have brought up one reason before, which I shall summarize here: singles past the age of 30 are either ignored or treated horribly by churches, and churches tend to be very marriage obsessed which makes the never married, divorced, and widowed feel overlooked or like outcasts, so they stop showing up, and a big chunk of the US demographic is single these days.

If you don’t minister to the singles, they stop showing up, so yes, your pews are going to be half empty.

But there are, I believe, other reasons churches are not drawing in folks, and while I don’t care to discuss those reasons here and now, I can tell you that putting on laser shows and live rock bands on stage will not get them to come back and stay.

I cannot figure out why Christians are focusing on 20 somethings, when a steady stream of 30- somethings, the middle aged and older of BOTH GENDERS, have been filing out the back door of churches in big numbers over the last ten or more years?

The middle aged typically have more money than the 20 year old kids, and since many churches these days are greedy, money hungry pigs, you would think they would make this connection and work their asses off at seeking after the older adults.

This article mentions that Luce (Luce is a youth pastor type guy who I think I’ve blogged of before – he often gives stupid dating advice to Christian teens, advice that backfires and keeps them single many years (LINK:) Luce and his weird crummy sex and dating advice is mentioned in this post) is using rock bands, laser shows, and big video monitors to attract 20-somethings back to church (and/or to Christianity).

Oh good grief. Jesus Christ did not run a popularity contest, nor did Jesus put on rock band shows and wear flip flops with skinny jeans to attract people.

Jesus’ miracles were to prove His claims of deity and to fulfill OT prophecy, not to be a magic show to attract audiences.

One reason age 30 and older groups are turned off to church (and evangelical, Fundy, and Baptist expressions of Christianity) is for the some of the very same reasons the under- 30s are turned off: trying to get us to attend via slick marketing gimmicks, large video monitors, rock bands, preachers in skinny jeans and goatees – it comes off as insincere, shallow, fake, as trying too hard.

The striving to look cool has the opposite effect: it makes such churches and preachers LOOK LAME.

It will take more than a big video monitor and hip rock band to retain teens, 20 somethings, or anyone over age 30.


A few days ago there was some kind of national “Back to Church” day, with an official web site that was selling marketing materials to churches, such as t-shirts, placards, post cards with the “Back to Church” logo on it.

I’m not sure if these people are trying to reach atheists, or Christians who stopped going to church (who are referred to as “the un-churched”), or both.

(Note: I saw one post by a Christian who uses the term “de churched” to refer to Christians who no longer attend, but “un churched” to refer to atheists etc)

The consensus I saw on most blogs that discussed this is that this movement was trying to attract “the unchurched,” because it’s considered easier to get non church going Christians to return than it is convincing an atheist or Hindu to show up.

It is further discussed on such blogs that the main reason for the push to get the unchurched to return is for MONEY.

Many churches are losing money now, but so too in particular are many mega churches (and they need hundreds of thousands of dollars to operate), and they need pew sitters to toss cash into the collection plate.

The regular church attenders (according to one person who studies church trends and who used to work for a large church) do not tithe much and not regularly; most income a church gets is from ‘spur of the moment’ where one guy will drop a 20 dollar bill into a collection plate on a Sunday.

I know that sounds cynical, but if you could see some of the disgusting shit I have seen on spiritual abuse blogs, it is actually the NORM in our culture these days for most preachers and churches to care only about money – not the people in the pew.

You can read about this insipid National Back to Church day here:
(Link): 20,000 Churches Pledge to Participate in National Back to Church Sunday on September 15

    Event organizers announced today more than 20,000 churches will participate in National Back to Church Sunday®, achieving the ambitious target set for this year, doubling the goal of last year’s event.

Yes, this thing actually has the Registered Trademark symbol (®) behind it, too, that is in the original thing I am quoting, I did not add it. The article continues:

    “We believe there are millions of Americans who would welcome an invitation to come back to church, or who might be a bit curious about attending church for the first time,” Evans continued.

    Citing research that about 80 percent of people would visit a church if someone they knew invited them, National Back to Church Sunday organizers started the event five years ago. It has grown exponentially since then as many churches who participate make it an annual event because of its impact on their congregations and communities.

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