Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

The following is a podcast. The identical episode is available on several different hosts, including iHeart media, Apple, and I forget where all else.

I listened to this podcast, then went back and re-listened to the first ten or so minutes of it, but the podcast did not go into detail in explaining how this woman’s church enabled this (not that I recall), but I’ve seen enough over the years to guess why and how.

Most Christians, and I include church preachers in this, are ignorant about Cluster B personality disorders (under which Narcissism falls), so they actually expect women to stay married to individuals who lack empathy and/or a conscience- this is not a realistic, safe, sane, or compassionate response or perspective, by the way – most Christians, especially preachers, are huge morons on these topics.

(Not that secular culture is great at understanding these topics, either.)

There is currently no ‘cure’ for Cluster B personality disorders, and they are quite therapy-resistant (especially Narcissism and Anti-Social), so it’s quite unrealistic for Christians to instruct someone married to a “Cluster B” person to tell them to just “submit more” to the spouse, or to just “pray and trust the Lord” and to tell them divorce is always prohibited, no matter the situation.

Goodness knows that gender complementarian Christians don’t help matters, in that under the false, un-biblical “complementarian” or “biblical womanhood” teachings they love to spout off, they essentially ask or guilt trip  Christian girls and women into adopting Codependent, people pleasing behaviors, to lack boundaries, and to endure abuse or mistreatment.

However, the Bible teaches personal responsibility for each person and does not teach that God wants or expects girls or women to remain in abusive relationships, but to leave them and to avoid them in the first place, if possible.

God gave girls and women discernment and wisdom and expects them to use it – to high tail it out of abusive situations, for one thing, not sit there and put up with it, all because Pastor John Doe has a faulty interpretation of the Bible.

It’s not up to any girl or woman to “change” a man, nor is it possible, certainly not in the case of Cluster B personality disorders. Women are not the Holy Spirit. It is not up to women to sanctify a man. It is that man’s responsibility to fix his own problems.

It’s possible I am misunderstanding things, but by “enabling,” I think the lady interviewed (who was married to a Narcissistic Sociopath named John) seemed to be saying that she was living with John as boyfriend-girlfriend, and he manipulated her into marrying him by continually nagging her with the observation that she was “living in sin,” which her church would not approve of.

They, her church, would expect her to make things right by getting married, and not living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, seemed to be the point.

Her ex, John, was using her religious upbringing to manipulate her into marriage.

She said in the podcast that John asked her many, many times to marry him, but she kept saying “No,” until he finally wore her down, and she caved in.

(I could write a separate blog post on that!
I’ve run into several people via this very blog and/or this blog’s associated Twitter account, who kept pestering me and hounding me repeatedly OVER MONTHS (some were very nice about it) to befriend them further over Facebook or e-mail, they kept saying they wanted to get to know me better, even though I politely turned them down many times.

I finally blocked one guy who kept doing this; he would not respect my boundaries and take “no” for an answer, when he kept asking if we could be friends over e-mail.
I’ve since come to learn that this non-stop pestering and hounding after you’ve said “no” to the person many times (and no matter how friendly and nice they are being about it) is one indication that the person more than likely has a personality disorder, and they are to be kept at arm’s length.)

(Link – to iHeart host, 1.15 hour long): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same podcast episode, but located on Spotify): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same episode but on PodPlay): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

Sept 8, 2022

Today’s Guest overcame a tumultuous marriage with a narcissistic husband and the Church that supported his actions. Coming straight from a religious college and community, our Guest and her ex-husband met and were groomed by the Church to be together and get married.

After what she thought was the perfect pairing to the perfect man, and that they were going to change the world for the better, everything changed.

Continue reading “Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast”

Student, 30, ‘Forced a Man She Met on an Online Dating Site to Have Sex With Her’, As Court Hears She Was A ‘Lot Bigger and Stronger’ Than Her Alleged victim

Student, 30, ‘Forced a Man She Met on an Online Dating Site to Have Sex With Her’, As Court Hears She Was A ‘Lot Bigger and Stronger’ Than Her Alleged victim

Post Updated Sept 30, 2022

This is not okay. I don’t support men sexually assaulting women, but I sure also do not support women sexually assaulting men.

Update – the jury found the woman not guilty, but I think she more than likely did sexually assault the guy. It’s a shame she’s not going to be fully held accountable for her behavior.

(Link): ‘Horny’ woman denies forcing man into sex in court: ‘I’m too lazy to go on top’

Excerpts:

Sept 29, 2022
by Andrew Court

A woman charged with forcing a man into having sex has been found not guilty after she told a jury that she was “too lazy” to overtake him.

Imogen Brooke, 30, was accused of pinning down the man at her home in Southhampton, England, after they met on an online dating site.

According to the victim, Brooke was allegedly “very drunk” and “horny” when she suggested they have sex and refused to take no for an answer.

…The man subsequently reported the alleged incident to police and admitted that he “had an erection, but he didn’t want to have one.”

“She was on top of him, riding him by leaning on his shoulders,” prosecutor Bryan told the jury. “It didn’t finish by his ejaculation, but by him losing his erection and she gave up.”

During the purported act, Brooke allegedly gave the man a “love bite” on his neck that was so severe it later morphed into a dark bruise.

“I remember the entire night. I remember it because I can’t get it out of my head,” the alleged victim declared. “I felt violated. I couldn’t believe it happened. The following day she had no memory of what had happened.”

Brooke denied the charge of causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent.

Continue reading “Student, 30, ‘Forced a Man She Met on an Online Dating Site to Have Sex With Her’, As Court Hears She Was A ‘Lot Bigger and Stronger’ Than Her Alleged victim”

Mother Sold Her Six Year Old Daughter to Pervert for Sex In Exchange for Shoes and Cash

Mother Sold Her Six Year Old Daughter to Pervert for Sex In Exchange for Shoes and Cash

Motherhood does not necessarily make a woman more ethical, responsible, mature, godly, or loving, nor does it improve society. Here’s yet another news story of a mother who abused her own daughter – this is so disgusting.

Women such as myself – I’m a conservative woman who never married or had children – gets smeared by hyper- pro- motherhood, hyper- pro- nuclear family conservatives for being single and childless – would never sell a child for sex.

Sadly, this is not the only news story like this I have on this blog. There have been other news stories of other parents who have sold their child to be raped by another adult in exchange for money or drugs.

(Link): Mom sold 6-year-old for sex in return for sneakers, cash: prosecutors

Sept 23, 2022
By Mark Lungariello

A Washington state woman was hit with 23 years behind bars for sex trafficking her 6-year-old daughter to a pervert she met online in exchange for sneakers and cash.

Kylie Ruby Flores, a 31-year-old Spokane resident, sold her little girl to a man she met on the dating site Plenty of Fish, and who promised to pay with new Nike kicks, “small amounts” of cash and a place to stay, federal prosecutors said.

Flores and Trever Harder — who filmed himself raping the young girl in his apartment — have entered guilty pleas, according to the US Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Washington.

Continue reading “Mother Sold Her Six Year Old Daughter to Pervert for Sex In Exchange for Shoes and Cash”

‘The Right Stuff,’ A Dating App for Conservatives – Liberal Sites Scoffing

‘The Right Stuff,’ A Dating App for Conservatives – Liberal Sites Scoffing

From what I’ve seen of a couple of left leaning sites (and certainly liberals on Twitter), the liberals seem to be rejoicing or mocking the fact that supposedly, newly launched conservative dating app “The Right Stuff” is not attracting many women members.

According to another study or two in the past few months, ALL dating sites, political or no, are struggling to attract women members.

I just did a blog post or two about it around a month ago – for the first time, there are more male users on dating sites and apps than there are female ones, and that goes for all manner of dating apps and sites, not just politically oriented ones.

Here’s at least one blog post I did about it, that mentions that gender imbalance:

(Link): Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

I’m puzzled by liberal joy at this perceived conservative dating site failure, as liberals say they hate conservatives, would never date one, and they also hypocritically bitch and moan about dating standards – for example, a lot of blue-haired, unattractive fat male and female progressives scream and yell about how skinny people should be forced to date them, even if skinny people find obesity a turn-off.

I would think that liberals would want conservatives to silo themselves into their own dating sites so that they, the liberals, wouldn’t have to be confronted by conservatives on dating sites.

There are single, conservative women out there – I am one of them – but one problem is that there are already too many dating sites. I joined a couple of them years ago – very well known, mainstream dating sites – and as I already belong to two or three, I have no interest in joining ten more. I think that may be playing a role in why new dating sites are having a hard time attracting new members.

While I myself am a conservative, I do not support sexism,  yet I don’t identify as a feminist (for reasons I shall not enumerate here and now), and it’s been my observation that both liberals and conservatives are sexist.

I would be cautious about using a conservative dating app, because I’ve no doubt that many of the single men on this conservative app adhere to sexist gender stereotypes – as many conservatives do (but again, progressives and liberals engage in their own type of sexism, too) and belief in traditional gender roles is associated with male entitlement and abusive behavior – so no thank you! I would be hesitant to use this dating app for that reason.

Beyond that, I don’t care if the men on this app are conservative, Republican, or if they vote Republican.

I’m fine with that in so far as it goes, but as I said, many conservative men unfortunately equate rejecting  feminism and “woke,” progressive ideology with the 180 degree opposite, equally obnoxious, awful, and wrong world view of supporting sexism against women vis a vis gender role stereotypes – as in, toxic femininity for women (which amounts to people pleasing and codependency) and toxic masculinity for men (which includes narcissistic abuse and entitled attitudes).

(Link):  The Right Stuff, a dating app for conservatives, launches this fall

Aug 15, 2022
These days, there’s a dating app for everyone, from farmers to parents to goths. Another one being thrown in the mix hopes to help you find your Mr. or Mrs. “Right” — a conservative, right-leaning partner, that is.

The Right Stuff is a new dating app for conservatives only, co-founded by John McEntee, Daniel Huff and Isaac Stalzer, three former Trump administration officials. The app is backed by PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel.

The site will launch in September and is free to join, but will be invite-only à la Clubhouse style (if you remember the social audio app’s craze mid-pandemic). This means you can’t join unless you know someone who’s already a member and they send you an invite. The invite list is limitless, though.

Continue reading “‘The Right Stuff,’ A Dating App for Conservatives – Liberal Sites Scoffing”

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Below this article, I have a lot of comments, before I resume with providing another link related to this first one:

(Link): Woman says why she’s rejecting these ‘lonely, single men’

Aug 18, 2022
By Jana Hocking, News.com.au

Unless you were hiding under a rock this week, you would have read about an article published on Psychology Today titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

It was written by psychologist, Greg Matos, and revealed that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

The psychologist explained that women are now only dating men who share the same values, have great communication skills and are emotionally available. Praise the lord!

Toxic men are out, respectful studs are in.

Now first of all, may we get out our violins and play a sad melody for the men who have treated women like absolute rubbish and then realized that they’re now single and alone. How unfair for these poor creatures.

You see, while they were bed-hopping, ghosting, breadcrumbing and doing all sort of mind f–kery to us women folk, we were quietly, and subtly embracing this ‘self love’ culture that started to emerge in TED Talks, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, and various other online forms.

Oprah preached: “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better’. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.”

Continue reading “Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness”

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

If any of the usual conservative commentators, male or female, get wind of this article by this psychologist, they will somehow try to pin the blame for more men going single longer – on all women, or on feminism.

I’m a conservative who doesn’t agree with progressive woke ideology, but I’ve noticed that other conservatives, despite claiming to believe in the concept of ‘personal responsibility’ never- the- less do not want to hold men accountable for the failures of men, whether on the individual level or men as a group.

Then, these same conservatives, who bemoan the “victimhood” mentality of progressivism, go on to depict all men as being poor, put upon victims.

If men of today are finding it more difficult to get dates, they need to take personal responsibility and work on improving themselves, rather than go the usual “blame feminism” or “blame all women” route, which is what they normally do.

I can see secular and Christian conservatives blaming women for this phenomenon – they are going to blame and shame women, and yell at women to lower their standards.

I find it absolutely refreshing to learn from these articles that women are now vastly out-numbered on dating sites.

I think I read the figure is 62%; that is, 62% of the participants on dating sites are male, the rest are female, so that women have the pick of the litter, LOL. This is a nice turn around.

This is the total opposite of churches.

Most churches have gender imbalances that favor single men – most churches have way more single women than single men. If you’re a single, practicing Christian woman that wants marriage, you need to dump the “equally yoked” rule and perhaps giving dating sites a second look.

Not that dating sites and apps are a god-send, because there are weirdos, rapists, and wackos on there, but you have more single men to choose from on dating sites than in many churches.

(Link):  The Rise of Lonely, Single Men by Greg Matos

Excerpts:

Dating apps and a drastically changing relationship landscape.

KEY POINTS

    • Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
    • Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
    • Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

(Link): Number of ‘lonely, single’ men is on the rise as women with higher dating standards look for partners who are are ’emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’, says psychologist

August 15, 2022
by Jessica Green

Men are lonelier than ever as they struggle to meet the higher dating standards of modern women, according to a psychologist.

American psychologist Greg Matos wrote in a recent Psychology Today article that the current state of young and middle-aged men’s love lives shows they need to ‘address a skills deficit’.

He said: ‘I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’.

Yet, he claimed he’s found that modern men’s biggest problem is communication, which is ‘the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love’.

It comes as data shows dating apps are overrun with men – who represent 62 per cent of users – and figures collected in the US in 2019 showed more men than women were single.

Dr Matos said society fails to teach young boys the importance of communication, which has resulted in growing numbers of unintentionally single men.

Continue reading “Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist”

13 Truly Horrific Dating Stories We Can Only Laugh About

13 Truly Horrific Dating Stories We Can Only Laugh About

I skimmed through most of these, and while a lot of these dates sounded weird or awkward, I don’t think most came across as “horrific.”

(Link): 13 Truly Horrific Dating Stories We Can Only Laugh About 

Excerpts:

By Lani Rigby, News.com.au
July 26, 2022

Dating is hard and it can often not go as planned. We’re all used to the guy who can’t pay for dinner because he ‘forgot’ his wallet and the date that just can’t get over their ex.

But here are some undeniably awful experiences to (hopefully) make you feel better about your own dating life.

From exposed diaries to two-hour talks about Marxism to mid-sex injuries, horror dates occur on the daily. So, sit back, sip some tea, and enjoy reading these 13 bad dating stories.

… A family meeting

“I had Tinder for a little bit just to fill the loneliness void (what a mistake that was). I was talking to this guy who had a really nice car (before I started talking to him, I saw his profile and his car and I super liked it, and not too long after we were talking).

After a week or so of talking, he invites me to a car meet.

I get to the car meet and see a bunch of people I already know and a girl that he’s been talking to from Tinder shows up and she goes ‘Oh it’s nice to see that you brought your sister along’ and he had told her that I was his sister.”

Continue reading “13 Truly Horrific Dating Stories We Can Only Laugh About”

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

I don’t agree with all of this person’s red flags, but some of them may be worthwhile to keep in mind.

 (Link): “Immediately no”: Mental health expert shares red flags on dating profiles

Excerpts:

by C. Ferris
June 2, 2022

In a now-viral TikTok video, a mental health expert discussed what would cause her to not match with someone on a dating app.

Karli Kucko, LPC-A shares content about mental health on her TikTok and Instagram accounts @karli.k.counseling. She recently posted a video on her TikTok where it garnered more than 100,000 views. The video, which discussed seeing people making demands on their profile, was the first of several that touched on behaviors that would cause her to “swipe left.”

Viewers found these points helpful, and many shared what they considered to be red flags when they peruse dating apps themselves.

Good Morning America outlined a few tips for a strong dating profile, which include users posting good quality photos, writing “just enough” about themselves and being up-front with their intentions.

Matthew Hussey, a New York Times bestselling author and dating expert, told the outlet that there is a way to be open and honest while remaining positive.

“If you’re going to say you want something serious, frame it in a positive way rather than a negative one,” he said. “You don’t want to come across as bitter or jaded.”

In Kucko’s first video, she said something that would make her “swipe left” is seeing someone making demands on their profile. She noted that statements like “have to have, can’t do, must do,” were some examples of phrases that led to her not matching with someone.

Continue reading ““Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles”

Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study


Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study

I appreciate that we’re living in an era where men are starting to be called or thought of as “slutty.” 😂  For years being a “whore” or a “slut” were terms reserved for women only.

The cultural assumption was that it was okay for men to sleep around as much as they want to, and they were considered studly, but if a woman slept around – not even that much – she would get branded as “slutty” or “loose.”

(Link):  Want to impress on your Tinder profile? Keep your top ON! Men who pose topless are seen as less competent and more promiscuous, study reveals

May 24, 2022

While dating apps were once seen as taboo, they’re now one of the main ways that singletons find love around the world.

But if you have a profile on a dating app, a new study may encourage you to reassess which pictures you include.

Researchers from the University of Colorado have revealed that men who pose topless on Tinder are seen as less competent and more promiscuous.

Continue reading “Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study”

My Date Had A Toilet Fetish – He Wanted To Lick Me Clean by Anonymous

My Date Had A Toilet Fetish – He Wanted To Lick Me Clean by Anonymous

🧻🚽🪠

This is one of the grossest things I’ve ever read.

Aside from the grossness – the fact that the guy did get overly familiar too fast is a huge red flag.

If you want to avoid weirdos and narcissists as much as possible, take any new relationship slowly (narcissists in particular love to speed things up and pressure you for commitment right away, as do some non-narcissistic abusive and controlling men – they might seriously discuss marriage on a very first date (saying already they can picture the two of you together, married) or propose marriage by the second date, or whatever. Red Flag!)

Getting back to the grossness – this man she didn’t know well tells her he has a “toilet fetish.” messyToilet

He wanted to use his tongue to clean her private area, including, it seems, the area around her anus , after she used the bathroom.

Aside from just being weird and gross, that’s a good way of getting diseases and becoming ill. If there’s any fecal matter in the area, that is loaded with bacteria, and if you ingest it, it can make you very sick (more info here). 

The following story gets more and more off kilter the more it goes on:

(Link): I thought my date was going to propose – instead he told me he had a toilet fetish

By Anonymous
May 28, 2022

Signing up for online dating was a big deal for me. 

Coming out of an abusive relationship had left me too scared to be intimate with anyone and so I remained single for many years. But, after a decade, I finally felt ready to dip my toe back into the dating pond again.

Setting up a profile on a couple of dating sites, I went on a few boring dates.

There was, however, one guy who seemed different. His messages were almost poetic. He seemed thoughtful, considerate, and gentle.

[She and the guy began contacting each other, and the guy came on too strong too fast]

We didn’t know each other. How on earth could he ‘shine’ for me?!

The next day more texts came, expressing how excited he was to meet me. He knew I was ‘the one!’ I was baffled. 

Continue reading “My Date Had A Toilet Fetish – He Wanted To Lick Me Clean by Anonymous”

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Disclaimer (if you’re new to the blog): I am not “anti-family.”
If people, of their own informed volition, decide to have children, that is fine by me.
But I am opposed to the guilt tripping or shaming by some adults (who are usually religious or conservative) to pressure other adults (and it’s usually women who are the targets of pro-natalism propaganda) into having children.

I found some of the reasons the young, childfree or anti-natalist people cited in this article below for not having children to be strange or idiotic, but it’s not my place – or yours – to dictate to them if they have children or not.

(Link): First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Inside America’s Baby Bust. Meet the young women who never want to have kids.

October 2021

… Americans are making fewer babies than we’ve made since we started keeping track in the 1930s. And some women, like Diamond, are not just putting off pregnancy but eliminating the possibility of it altogether.

Last year, the number of deaths exceeded that of births in 25 states — up from five the year before. The marriage rate is also at an all-time low, at 6.5 marriages per 1,000 people.

Millennials are the first generation where a majority are unmarried (about 56%). They are also more likely to live with their own parents, according to Pew, than previous generations were in their twenties and thirties.

They also aren’t having sex. The number of young men (ages 18 to 30) who admit they have had no sex in the past year tripled between 2008 and 2018.

Cities like New York, where young, secular Americans flock to to build their lives, are increasingly childless. In San Francisco, there are more dogs than children.

Continue reading “First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss”

Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)

Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)

(Link): Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)

by Carly Stern
April 22, 2022

A New York woman played cupid for her grandmother, finding the older woman a boyfriend on a dating app from over a thousand miles away.

Carli Costello, 29, is happily married, but she recently shelled out $60 for a one-month subscription to Match.com.

She signed up as her own grandmother, creating a profile and messaging men to help her grandma find love.

She’s sent the pest picks to grandma, who lives in Florida, via text, and ultimately set her up with a man whom she is now happily dating.

Continue reading “Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)”