This is something I find deeply annoying. I’ve blogged on it only once before: you’re a single woman with a single female buddy who regularly hangs out with you UNTIL she gets the new boyfriend or husband – then she neglects her friendship with YOU unless and until her new man goes out of town, dumps her, or dies.
Then all the sudden she walks back into your life, expecting you to be there for her. I hate it when women do this to other women, or girls do it to girls.
Basically Abby tells the letter writer that’s just the way it is, suck it up and deal with it.
My advice to the Mom: just wait when Cora’s friend’s BF dumps her (and it will happen eventually), you can allow Cora to give her the cold shoulder: no female buddy support system for the friend, the friend will have to cry and get over the break up all on her little own and suffer the resulting loneliness.
She dumps your kid Cora for a boyfriend – tell her to return the favor when the inevitable split comes along (Cora gets dumped by the BF). In the meantime, help your kid make new friends and also get her involved in solo activities – sports or hobbies.
Selfish Married Woman Cheats on Husband Who Has Cancer, Goes Blind (Dear Abby)
Married people sure are selfish sometimes.
This letter to Dear Abby blew me away.
I feel so bad for the husband (who is now deceased). Can you imagine being married to someone for 30 years, but your spouse spent all 30 years cheating on you, even though you were good to them, and you later developed cancer and went blind? I don’t think this woman ever really loved her husband.
That poor guy, in this lousy marriage. I wonder if he knew or suspected that his wife was having affairs and didn’t really love him?
How terrible – even if he didn’t know, this is still terrible. Why didn’t this bitch divorce him years before, so he could have been with a woman who would have loved him and appreciated him??
In light of stories like these, it’s time for Christians to stop teaching the utter lie that “marriage makes people mature, responsible, and more godly.” No, no it does not.
I’ve never married, but I would not treat someone the way this woman treated her husband.
- DEAR ABBY:
- My sister, “Margaret,” cheated on her husband for 30 years out of their 30-year marriage. Her husband had a visual impairment that led to blindness, and for the last 10 years he was completely dependent on her.
- I’m the only one in the family she confided in about her affairs all these years. We’re both now in our 60s.
- Margaret’s husband died last year of cancer, and then her boyfriend left her because he wanted a real relationship and she did not. She was devastated about both events, but cannot let go of being rejected by her boyfriend.
- I am sick and tired of hearing about this boyfriend and his and her choices. I never approved of how my sister lived her life. Margaret’s husband was a good man who would do anything for her. I recently suggested she speak to her grief counselor about this so she can find some peace in her life.
- Now she tells me she has cut me completely out of her life, but she continues to send me nasty emails. She’s also bad-mouthing me to my brother and my children (who know nothing). How do I deal with this?
— TIRED OF HER DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Abby told this woman to tell the brother everything and to delete any and all future emails from the sister.
(Link): Married Woman Rationalizes Her Extra-Martial Affairs – Selfishness, Thy Name is Married People
(Link): Selfishness: Thy Name Is Married People / Married People Think Their Spouse Having Alzheimer’s Gives Them A Pass to Spouse Shop or to Divorce or Have Affairs / Christians Over-Sell Marriage but Under-Sell Adult Singleness
(Link): Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls
(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages
Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married
Usually, people assume homosexuality is at play when a man makes it to 35 or older and doesn’t marry, but on occasion, women are also subjected to this.
(Link): Dear Abby Letter (second letter on page)
- DEAR ABBY:
- I think my sister “Gladys” is a lesbian. And I don’t know how to approach her to ask.
- I think she’s a lesbian because at 44 she has never been married.
- She hasn’t even had a boyfriend since 1998.
- She still lives with our parents and acts like she’s daddy’s little girl. She does everything with Dad, and Mom usually stays home.
- My sister is an RN and has only one friend from the hospital where she works. Of course, that friend is a woman. How can I ask my sister if she prefers women and why she is still alone at her age?
- — BIG BROTHER IN CALIFORNIA
- DEAR BIG BROTHER: I would caution you against doing that. If you and your sister were close and she was gay, she would have said something to you by now. Not all women meet the right man, and not all women these days want to be married. It does not mean they are lesbians.
- Your sister is gainfully employed, so the fact that she lives with your parents does not mean she’s financially exploiting them.
- That you would call her “daddy’s little girl” is pejorative and implies that you’re jealous of the relationship she has with your father, which is why I think you should MYOB.
The brother in this letter needs to take his rude assumptions and cram them up his butt and leave his sister the hell alone. Abby’s advice was pretty decent. I’m afraid if this idiot had written to Ask Amy, Amy would have upheld most or all of idiot’s assumptions.
(Link): 34 Year Old Single Woman Harassed by Relatives at Wedding Over Why She Is Not Married Yet Asks How To Get Them to STFU About Her Singleness
(Link): Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles
(Link): Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak
(Link): Glad to Be Single – Husband Married to Woman Now Says He’s Homosexual And Wants Out
(Link): Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”
(Link): Old accusation and stereotypes tossed at unmarried people, even if and when it’s not true: “You’re Bitter!” and “You Have Baggage!” (“And that’s why you’re still single!”)
(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage (and “family”) by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists