Dear Abby: I’m Sick Of My Friend Always Venting About Her Marriage

Dear Abby: I’m Sick Of My Friend Always Venting About Her Marriage

Oh tell me about it.

I had a friend a few years ago who always complained about her husband.

First, it was because his job drove him away, then when he got back home, she got  peeved by his quirks, or she complained when the Christmas present he got her was too practical and not “romantic” enough for her tastes.

I gently reminded her a time or two during all her years of griping about her husband that I was a single lady who’d like to be married, even if my spouse was occasionally annoying, as hers was (a slightly annoying husband is better than NO husband at all, in my perspective), but she kept right on with the complaining about her spouse.

It was so irritating to be a single lady wanting to get married having to listen to a woman gripe all the time about her husband.

Then, I once had a friend who got married in a civil ceremony, then she (about a year later) had a church ceremony, and she was thrilled. She would NOT SHUT UP about her husband and how great marriage was. I also gently reminded her, “I’m single and cannot even get a boyfriend.”

In other words, if you are a married lady, try not to go to either extreme in front of your single lady friend who wants a man and cannot get one: don’t bitch and moan about your man all the time – you sound ungrateful, and it’s annoying – and, if you are happily married, I don’t need to hear about that constantly, either.

The occasional husband-mention to your single lady friend is FINE, but I’m talking about women who bring it up in almost every conversation.

Edit. Upon reflection, and after reading other opinions on the other site about this letter – it’s possible that the LW (Letter Writer) is the one in the wrong.

The LW admits to Abby that her friend was really there for her during the years after her husband died.

Now that the friend is the one in need, LW is reluctant to give her emotional support, which does make LW sound like she’s selfish and self-absorbed and horrible.

The LW got what she needed from her friend, but now that LW is happy with her new boyfriend, she does not want to return the emotional support to the friend that the friend once gave her.

You know, if LW’s new boyfriend dumps her, and she finds herself sad about it, you bet that the friend is the first person she will want to phone to gripe about it and to receive emotional support.

So, in a way, it is rather hypocritical of LW not to want to give the friend support at this time.

(Link): Dear Abby: I’m sick of my friend always venting about her marriage

DEAR ABBY:

I lost my husband of 45 years three years ago.

My longtime friend, “Grace,” was very supportive and included me in family dinners and outings so I wouldn’t be alone.

A year ago, I moved away to start a new life for myself.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: I’m Sick Of My Friend Always Venting About Her Marriage”

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Dear Abby: Friends Push Overweight Woman To Date But Offer No Help

Dear Abby: Friends Push Overweight Woman To Date But Offer No Help

(Link): Dear Abby: Friends Push Overweight Woman To Date But Offer No Help

Dear Abby:

I’m 37 and still single. I have never been able to keep a guy around very long. They have all given me different reasons, but the main theme is that I’m “too independent and better as a friend.”

I’ve kept some of my exes as friends, so there haven’t been hard feelings. I have accepted that I’m going to always be alone.

I have come to terms with it and made a fairly decent life for myself.

My issue is, everyone keeps insisting there’s someone out there for me.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Friends Push Overweight Woman To Date But Offer No Help”

Dear Abby: A guy’s advice to women dating online

My experience with dating sites has been totally different from what this guy says. The majority of men I ran into when I was on dating sites only cared about what I looked like.

I could tell from their comments and questions to me that they had not bothered to read my personal info or likes and dislikes. Most men care about photos, which is perhaps why so many women are posting so many photos and not going into detail with their biographies or preferences.

(Link): Dear Abby: A guy’s advice to women dating online

DEAR ABBY: As a single man, I have been on a few dating websites, and I’d like to say something to the women I have encountered: What is it about you that makes you worth my time to pursue?

Continue reading “Dear Abby: A guy’s advice to women dating online”

Guy is Dating Button Pusher (Dear Abby)

This letter comes from the same series of letters I quoted from in a post the other day.

This guy wrote to Dear Abby saying:

Dear Abby

• I am currently in a relationship that’s great except for one thing. She knows what “buttons” to push to make me angry, and she’ll continue to push them.

No matter what I do, she’s in my face. It just seems she wants to argue until I reach the point of exploding.

Continue reading “Guy is Dating Button Pusher (Dear Abby)”

Dear Abby: I Gave Up Dating, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely

Dear Abby: I Gave Up Dating, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely

This post has been edited to add even more reader comments from other sites that published this Abby letter. Virtually nobody is sympathetic with this guy.


I was genuinely feeling empathy and sympathy for this dude, right up until this phrase in his letter to Dear Abby:

I’m not attracted to women my age, and I don’t see younger women being attracted to an overweight old guy…”

Die alone, ageist rat bastard!

You’re in your 70s, by your own admission, you’re dumpy- or tubby- looking and don’t have a great income, but you pine after some 20, 30, or 40 or 50 year old hottie? (And I bet this sexist pig jerk expects any chick he dates to not only be younger but very thin, too.)

Oh get bent, ten times over!

Continue reading “Dear Abby: I Gave Up Dating, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely”

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

I believe that the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is stupid and acts as a hindrance to Christian single women who’d like to marry.

Also, (Link):  a lot of self professing Christian men are abusive or pigs, so if you’re a Christian woman, you should marry a guy on the basis of how he treats you – not if he claims to believe in Jesus or not.

By the way, I am a little confused by the heading which says that the letter write is an atheist – in her letter, she seems to say that she does believe in God but is not “as religious” as her boyfriend is.

(Link): Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

(Link) Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

DEAR ABBY:

For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he’s the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn’t just lust.

We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He’s actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn’t believe our relationship can survive this difference.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?”

Dear Abby: Woman Worries Lazy Fiance Will Also be Lazy Husband

Dear Abby: Woman Worries Lazy Fiance Will Also be Lazy Husband

He’s not going to magically change just because you put a gold band on his finger. If you’re unhappy with him now, you’ll be unhappy with him after you marry him, if you marry him.

(Link): Dear Abby: Woman worries lazy fiance will also be lazy husband

Dear Abby:

My fiance, “David,” and I are getting married soon. We have been living together and engaged for a year, and together eight years. It takes him forever to get things done around the house or buy things we need. I have tried lists and constant reminders.

David recently lost his job and is interviewing to find another one. He loves sports, so he plays softball with his friend in a league, which takes up an entire day of the weekend. When he comes home, he wants to watch sports on TV. The house is old (it was my grandfather’s), and there’s always something that needs doing or fixing.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Woman Worries Lazy Fiance Will Also be Lazy Husband”

Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)

Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)

There’s no point in being married if the guy you are married to is inept, self-absorbed, selfish, and/or abusive. Here’s another example of that:

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to share a positive experience I hope will help others. It’s what a relief divorce can be.

I was miserable married to my husband. I used to hear people on the radio talk about their beloved husband or wife, and my heart would twist with regret that I never felt that way.

I spent years almost numb because I was lying to myself about my marriage. I spent years reading books on how to improve our relationship, years going to workshops.

Continue reading “Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)”

Dear Abby: Teen Gets a Boyfriend, Snubs Her Old Pal

Dear Abby: Teen Gets a Boyfriend, Snubs Her Old Pal

This is something I find deeply annoying. I’ve blogged on it only once before: you’re a single woman with a single female buddy who regularly hangs out with you UNTIL she gets the new boyfriend or husband – then she neglects her friendship with YOU unless and until her new man goes out of town, dumps her, or dies.

Then all the sudden she walks back into your life, expecting you to be there for her. I hate it when women do this to other women, or girls do it to girls.

Basically Abby tells the letter writer that’s just the way it is, suck it up and deal with it.

My advice to the Mom: just wait when Cora’s friend’s BF dumps her (and it will happen eventually), you can allow Cora to give her the cold shoulder: no female buddy support system for the friend, the friend will have to cry and get over the break up all on her little own and suffer the resulting loneliness.

She dumps your kid Cora for a boyfriend – tell her to return the favor when the inevitable split comes along (Cora gets dumped by the BF). In the meantime, help your kid make new friends and also get her involved in solo activities – sports or hobbies.

Dear Abby: Teen gets a boyfriend, snubs her old pal

DEAR ABBY:

My beautiful, kindhearted, loving daughter “Cora” has a “best friend” she used to be very close with.

However, her friend now has a boyfriend, so Cora doesn’t see her on weekends or receive texts from her very often anymore.

Everything they plan to do together, the girl cancels.

My daughter is so distraught that it is affecting her emotionally and physically. Cora has told her friend many times how she feels, but it has made no difference.

Her friend promises her things and never follows through. My daughter suffers from social anxiety, so making a good friend is a rarity for her.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Teen Gets a Boyfriend, Snubs Her Old Pal”

Selfish Married Woman Cheats on Husband Who Has Cancer, Goes Blind (Dear Abby)

Selfish Married Woman Cheats on Husband Who Has Cancer, Goes Blind (Dear Abby)

Married people sure are selfish sometimes.

This letter to Dear Abby blew me away.

I feel so bad for the husband (who is now deceased). Can you imagine being married to someone for 30 years, but your spouse spent all 30 years cheating on you, even though you were good to them, and you later developed cancer and went blind? I don’t think this woman ever really loved her husband.

That poor guy, in this lousy marriage. I wonder if he knew or suspected that his wife was having affairs and didn’t really love him?

How terrible – even if he didn’t know, this is still terrible. Why didn’t this bitch divorce him years before, so he could have been with a woman who would have loved him and appreciated him??

In light of stories like these, it’s time for Christians to stop teaching the utter lie that “marriage makes people mature, responsible, and more godly.” No, no it does not.

I’ve never married, but I would not treat someone the way this woman treated her husband.

  • DEAR ABBY:
  • My sister, “Margaret,” cheated on her husband for 30 years out of their 30-year marriage. Her husband had a visual impairment that led to blindness, and for the last 10 years he was completely dependent on her.
  • I’m the only one in the family she confided in about her affairs all these years. We’re both now in our 60s.
  •  Margaret’s husband died last year of cancer, and then her boyfriend left her because he wanted a real relationship and she did not. She was devastated about both events, but cannot let go of being rejected by her boyfriend.
  • I am sick and tired of hearing about this boyfriend and his and her choices. I never approved of how my sister lived her life. Margaret’s husband was a good man who would do anything for her. I recently suggested she speak to her grief counselor about this so she can find some peace in her life.
  • Now she tells me she has cut me completely out of her life, but she continues to send me nasty emails. She’s also bad-mouthing me to my brother and my children (who know nothing). How do I deal with this?
    — TIRED OF HER DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

Abby told this woman to tell the brother everything and to delete any and all future emails from the sister.

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Related Posts:

(Link): Married Woman Rationalizes Her Extra-Martial Affairs – Selfishness, Thy Name is Married People

(Link):   Selfishness: Thy Name Is Married People / Married People Think Their Spouse Having Alzheimer’s Gives Them A Pass to Spouse Shop or to Divorce or Have Affairs / Christians Over-Sell Marriage but Under-Sell Adult Singleness

(Link):  Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

Usually, people assume homosexuality is at play when a man makes it to 35 or older and doesn’t marry, but on occasion, women are also subjected to this.

(Link): Dear Abby Letter (second letter on page)

  • DEAR ABBY:
  • I think my sister “Gladys” is a lesbian. And I don’t know how to approach her to ask.
  • I think she’s a lesbian because at 44 she has never been married.
  • She hasn’t even had a boyfriend since 1998.
  • She still lives with our parents and acts like she’s daddy’s little girl. She does everything with Dad, and Mom usually stays home.
  • My sister is an RN and has only one friend from the hospital where she works. Of course, that friend is a woman. How can I ask my sister if she prefers women and why she is still alone at her age?
  • — BIG BROTHER IN CALIFORNIA
  • DEAR BIG BROTHER: I would caution you against doing that. If you and your sister were close and she was gay, she would have said something to you by now. Not all women meet the right man, and not all women these days want to be married. It does not mean they are lesbians.
  • Your sister is gainfully employed, so the fact that she lives with your parents does not mean she’s financially exploiting them.
  • That you would call her “daddy’s little girl” is pejorative and implies that you’re jealous of the relationship she has with your father, which is why I think you should MYOB.

The brother in this letter needs to take his rude assumptions and cram them up his butt and leave his sister the hell alone. Abby’s advice was pretty decent. I’m afraid if this idiot had written to Ask Amy, Amy would have upheld most or all of idiot’s assumptions.

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Related posts:

(Link):  34 Year Old Single Woman Harassed by Relatives at Wedding Over Why She Is Not Married Yet Asks How To Get Them to STFU About Her Singleness

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link): My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak 

(Link):   Glad to Be Single – Husband Married to Woman Now Says He’s Homosexual And Wants Out

(Link):  Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate” 

(Link): Old accusation and stereotypes tossed at unmarried people, even if and when it’s not true: “You’re Bitter!” and “You Have Baggage!” (“And that’s why you’re still single!”)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage (and “family”) by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists