Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?

Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?

(Link): Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?

Why the dating-and-marriage storyline still appeals so much to audiences who are increasingly opting out of the tradition.

by Joanna Weiss

Follow conservative punditry over the past few years, and you might think America is becoming a nation of unrepentant singles.

Last July, Ohio Senate candidate J.D. Vance warned a conservative think tank about a “civilizational crisis,” marked by declining marriage and birth rates, and promoted by the “childless left.”

 Census data that shows low marriage rates among millennials and Gen Z-ers — only 29 percent of 18-to-34-year-olds were married in 2018, compared to 59 percent in 1978 — begets headlines bemoaning a “marriage crisis” or predicting “the end of marriage in America.”

But if the dream of marriage is dead, you wouldn’t know it from the trailer for the upcoming season of ABC’s “The Bachelorette.” The three-minute video, released last week, features a single schoolteacher named Michelle Young, a herd of healthy male suitors vying for her hand and a shimmering word cloud of courtship cliches:
“I’m looking for my soulmate.” “You give me goosebumps.” “When I’m with him, I feel fireworks.” Young declares that “I’m ready to fall in love,” and she wants more than just romance. “Miss Young,” one of her students says, “is looking for a husband.”

Continue reading “Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?”

Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

If you’re a Christian – you must recognize that 1 Cor 7 specifies that it is better to remain single than to marry, and no, that wasn’t merely a concession to a specific historical situation.

The Bible doesn’t teach that “marriage makes society better” or will repair a culture or nation. Christians who keep promoting that view are, from a theological perspective, in error.

As to the portions of this article where people interviewed claimed that marriage makes people happier (and I won’t be copying those portions to my post below) – wrong! That is a claim that’s been refuted before.

(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest 

By Nicole Alcindor, CP Reporter

Higher percentages of Americans view marriage as being “old-fashioned” as just over half believe that marriage is needed to create strong families, according to an annual nationwide survey released on Tuesday.

Continue reading “Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest”

Men’s Fertility Fears Spawn a Mini Industry by Robbie Whelan

Men’s Fertility Fears Spawn a Mini Industry by Robbie Whelan

The print version of this article has a different heading than the online version for some reason.

(Link): Men’s Fertility Fears Spawn a Mini Industry by R Whelan

Sept 10, 2021

A crop of companies aims to make sperm-freezing a routine procedure for young men, as employers start to offer it as a benefit.

[Article opens with the example of a 39 year old man who had medical issues, so he got some of his sperm frozen]

…. For decades, the conversation about waning fertility has been focused largely on women.

… Recently, a small group of biotech startups have hatched, dedicated to what they say is an underserved market: male fertility.

Armed with recent scientific research suggesting that the quality of sperm is declining in the West, the companies are trying to make sperm-freezing a routine procedure for young, healthy men,  one covered by health insurance and free of stigma.

Continue reading “Men’s Fertility Fears Spawn a Mini Industry by Robbie Whelan”

Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail

Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail

I placed parts of the following article in bold-faced type.

Too often, a lot of people, religious conservatives in particular, shame people who cannot or do not marry and have children, whether it’s by circumstance or choice.

Too many religious conservatives, and a lot of progressive secular culture for many years, implied or outright stated if an adult didn’t marry (or have children) that there was something “wrong” with them, they were a loser, not a “true” adult, or were being selfish.

It is just quite irritating and insulting how so many people in many cultures the world over don’t treat adult singleness (or being childless or childfree) with respect.

Complementarian Christians in the United States have often tried to sell a “fairy tale” view off marriage, that if you just trust God, God will send you a great soul mate, and you will find nothing but happiness as a result.

(Those same Christians, though, will tell Christian women married to abusive Christian husbands that they cannot divorce their abuser!)

Christians also set up unrealistic expectations for sex in marriage. At least while I was growing up, and into the 1990s, a lot of Christians sold this bogus view that if you just hung on to your virginity that God would not only send you a great spouse, but you’d have regular and fantastic sex.

But witness those of us who remained sexually abstinent and yet still remain single, or those who married but ended up in sexually unsatisfying marriages.

I’m not opposed to Christians advocating for a traditional, Christian sexual ethos, but they need to stop making grand, sweeping claims and promises claiming that you will have a rosy (marital) future if you just remain chaste – because often, those promises do not come to pass.

I am not Russian, but if gender roles and gender expectations in Russia are anything like I’ve grown up with in the United States, it sounds like (based on a quote by a Russian woman I’ve included below) as though Russian culture – like American culture, especially Christian complementarians – expect women to place every one and every thing as a priority over what they, the women, want.

I am so tired of cultures the world over expecting that women defer to men generally, to what governments want, etc.

(Link): Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail

Anna Nemtsova
Mon, September 6, 2021

Russia is facing a dire demographic crisis, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

The country’s dramatic natural population decline in the past six months—more than double the rate from the same time period last year—is so severe that it prompted President Vladimir Putin to come out with a rallying cry in support of larger families last week. “A strong family bringing up two, three, or four children,” he said, “should be the image of a future Russia.”

Realizing this goal will be a Herculean task, for many reasons. No matter how conservative the country is made out to be on state television, the States Statistic Service reports that as of 2020 73 percent of Russian marriages ended in divorce, with 48 percent divorcing before having children.

Continue reading “Why Putin’s Desperate Push for More Russian Babies Will Fail”

These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

(Link): These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

Excerpts:

June 14, 2021
by Michael Blackmon

…In choosing to be single and child-free, [49-year-old author and educator]  Turner’s relationship with herself has blossomed. “All my time is for me. I don’t have to dress up for anyone but me. I don’t have to shave. It’s so freeing to go out and not worry about how I look, will someone find me attractive or not,” she said. “I find that I have more confidence and security within myself. I am not looking to [a partner] for validation.”

Turner is just one of hundreds of singles who responded to a BuzzFeed News callout asking the unattached if they were happy.

The submissions were varied, from people who had been single for just a few months to those who had been going solo for much of their lives.

Continue reading “These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon”

China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids

China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids

(Link): China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids

A once-in-a-decade population census has shown that births in China have fallen to their lowest level since the 1960s – leading to calls for an end to birth control policies. But some in China say these policies aren’t the only thing that’s stopping them.

Despite being hassled by her mum about it, Beijing resident Lili* is not planning to have children any time soon.

The 31-year-old, who has been married for two years, wants to “live my life” without the “constant worries” of raising a child.

“I have very few peers who have children, and if they do, they’re obsessed about getting the best nanny or enrolling the kids in the best schools. It sounds exhausting.”

Lili spoke to the BBC on condition of anonymity, noting that her mother would be devastated if she knew how her daughter felt.

But this difference of opinion between the generations reflects the changing attitudes of many young urban Chinese toward childbirth.

Continue reading “China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids”

How Marriage and College Switched Places by Daniel Markovits

How Marriage and College Switched Places

(Link): How College Became a Ruthless Competition Divorced From Learning

Excerpts:

by Daniel Markovits

… [In years past] School and work were not a path to wealth and status—certainly not for women, nor even for men. Elites were indifferent to education and disdained work.

The landed gentry in Pride and Prejudice look down on Elizabeth’s working uncle, no matter that he gets his income from “a very respectable line of trade.”

….Courtship and marriage [back in the day] were as ruthless as schooling was casual.

Because elites married instrumentally—to shore up lineages—everyone wanted to marry the same people for the same reasons; even those who saw through the regime could not completely escape it.

…Marrying well demanded skill, judgment, and luck. The challenge of marrying to secure wealth, status, and love was so great that it could sustain the forward progress of a novel, as it does in Pride and Prejudice. The basic pattern was repeated in so many stories that critics have given it a name: the marriage plot.

The path to the top looks very different today, almost a mirror image in which work and school have traded places with inheritance and marriage.

Continue reading “How Marriage and College Switched Places by Daniel Markovits”

Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound by D. Crary

Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound by D. Crary

At points, this article unfortunately quotes the odious Bradford Wilcox. Other than that, it seems to be an okay article. (I have tried to omit any quotes by Wilcox in my excerpts below.)

(Link): Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound

Excerpts:

by David Crary
Feb 14, 2021

For many U.S. couples yearning to be married, the pandemic has wreaked havoc on their wedding plans while bolstering their teamwork and resilience. For couples already married, it has posed a host of new tests, bringing some closer, pulling others apart.

Spending more time together — a common result of lockdowns, furloughs and layoffs — has been a blessing for some couples who gain greater appreciation of one another.

For other spouses, deprived of opportunities for individual pursuits, the increased time together “may seem more like a house arrest than a fantasy,” suggested Steve Harris, a professor of marriage and family therapy at the University of Minnesota and associate director of a marriage counseling project, Minnesota Couples on the Brink.

Gregory Popcak, a psychotherapist in Steubenville, Ohio, who specializes in marriage counseling for Catholics, says the pandemic has been particularly troublesome for spouses whose coping strategies have been disrupted.

Continue reading “Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound by D. Crary”

Birth Rates Will Drop, People Will Stay Single Longer…. Scientists Predict How Society Will Change in a Post-COVID World

Birth Rates Will Drop, People Will Stay Single Longer…. Scientists Predict How Society Will Change in a Post-COVID World

(Link): Birth rates will drop, people will stay single for longer and women will sexualise themselves more: Scientists predict how society will change in a post-COVID world

Excerpts:

October 2020

Psychological fallout from the pandemic will cause birth rates to drop, people to stay single for longer and women to sexualise themselves more, experts have predicted.

Experts from the US reviewed 90 studies to help them predict how COVID-19 could shift social behaviours and gender norms — even among those not infected.

They expect planned pregnancies to decrease in response to the global health crisis as people defer marriage and kids, leading some nations’ populations to shrink.

Continue reading “Birth Rates Will Drop, People Will Stay Single Longer…. Scientists Predict How Society Will Change in a Post-COVID World”

Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article

Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article

I’ve written about Wilcox many times before. Wilcox is obsessed with marriage and advocating for it, and in the process, he enjoys insulting singleness and adult singles, although the Bible states in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to remain single than to marry, and of course, as we all know, Jesus of Nazareth, who is highly regarded by many, never married.

Jesus remained single and celibate and never formed his own “nuclear family,” because he was more concerned with establishing a spiritual family, and he taught his followers to be just as, if not, (Link): more concerned with spiritual family than with biological family.

But marriage-idolaters and singles-shamers, such as Wilcox and Al Mohler, continue to promote marriage far too much, and they tend to do so consistently at the detriment of singles.

Allow me to first provide a few excerpts from the National Review piece by Wilcox, then I will explain the flaws with some of the points below the excerpt:

(Link):  Private Schools Outpace Public Schools in Putting Kids on the Path to Marriage

Excerpts:

By W. BRADFORD WILCOX , PATRICK WOLF & PEYTON ROTH
Sept 2020

There’s more to a quality education than academics; good schools give students a healthy moral environment that appears to shape their future family life.

… Different kinds of schools, with different moral ecologies, set our children up for success or failure in areas of life outside of the classroom. Chief among these is family life.

We know that men and women who forge strong and stable marriages are generally happier, healthier, and more prosperous. [Note from blog owner: this is a repeated but false claim across marriage-hyping articles; please see (Link): this post for refutations]

Continue reading “Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article”

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

I have been blogging about this topic, and ones pertaining to it, for several years now. It’s no mystery to me why women have been leaving the church in droves the last ten or more years.

(If you’d like to see just a few of my posts explaining why the Christian faith, or more specifically, churches, are a huge turn-off to single women, please see some of the links to my other blog posts below in this post, under the “Related Posts” heading.)

However, most Christians only obsess over smaller numbers of MEN leaving church; they don’t seem to either notice or to care that single women have been dropping out as well.

One of the few things this article highlights is that the “equally yoked” rule is a waste of time for women of faith who’d like to be married.

If you are a Christian woman, and you’d like to marry, it is vital you give up a hope or strict rule of marrying only a Christian man – otherwise, you are more than likely to remain single.

Secondly, and obviously, too many churches have made marriage and parenthood into idols and benchmarks of adulthood, so that any woman who doesn’t marry or have kids is ignored or viewed and treated like a child. That needs to change. Single women should be valued and recognized in their singleness. 

I can also see how gender complementarianism (traditional gender roles) are also keeping these Christian women from getting married: they have internalized the idea that being anything other than the Christian gender complementarian woman (i.e., a passive doormat) hinders them from getting a husband, and worse yet, some of the men they’ve met in church actually do feel that way.

Christians need to toss out the regressive stereotypes (which are snuck into Christian teaching under heretical gender complementarian teachings) if they are truly concerned about declining marriage rates and would like to actually help marriage-minded single women to get married.

Not all women naturally fit into the gender complementarian ideal, which means they may not get married, if everyone insists all women must be gender comp to merit marriage. (The Bible does not hold up women being passive or being gender complementarian to merit a husband; it is church members who promote this false view.)

(Link): Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Excerpts:

…. It turns out that in both countries, single Christian women are leaving churches at increasingly high rates. In the UK, one study showed that single women are the most likely group to leave Christianity.

In the US, the numbers tell a similar story.

Of course, there is a distinction between leaving church and leaving Christianity, and these studies do not make the difference clear.

Regardless, leaving – whether it be your congregation or your faith — is a difficult decision. Women stand to lose their friends, their sense of identity, their community and, in some cases, even their family. And yet, many are doing it anyway.

What or who is driving them out?

Continue reading “Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini”

The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links

The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links

If you want to get right to it, here’s the main link:

(Link): The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake by David Brooks  – via The Atlantic (off site link)

Before I paste in excerpts from that editorial by David Brooks below, I wanted to say a few words, and I will be pasting in any relevant links about the Brooks piece even farther below that.

I’ve been saying on this blog FOR YEARS many of the same things that Brooks has outlined in his essay.

Some of what I’ve been saying on this blog for years now includes:
that Christians and conservatives have turned Marriage and The Nuclear Family into idols,
that they have placed weight upon both that the Bible never did, and in the process of advocating marriage, these conservatives and Christians have marginalized the never-married, the divorced, the widowed and the childless or childfree among them, and this is wrong.

The Bible does not teach that marriage – or parenting – are going to “fix” society, or that being married or becoming a parent is necessary to make a person into a moral, upstanding, responsible individual.

If you’re a conservative or a Christian who keeps sounding the alarm about falling marriage rates, you need to accept reality for what it is: most people now are either single and childless by choice or by circumstance.

The United States is simply never going back to the June and Ward Cleaver family structures in mass droves that existed in the 1950s; (Link): so get over it already, and stop trying to punish or guilt trip anyone and everyone who doesn’t marry or have children.

Continue reading “The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links”