Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress

Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress

I first saw this story via Janey The Small on Twitter. This news story seems familiar – I hope I didn’t already post it to the blog.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: Christian singles: drop the “Equally Yoked” teaching. You need to judge people by their character if you want to date or marry them. You should not, for your safety, go by a label. Just because someone wears the label of “Christian” does not ensure they are a friendly, loving, ethical person.

I’d also have to say that stories like this go to show the Christian teaching of “hot, regular Christian married sex” is a great big falsehood. If married Christian sex was so great, why do I see these news stories of these men cheating on their wives?

By the way, this story also goes to show that contrary to a lot of Christian teaching, you do NOT have to earn a spouse, or be perfect or godly before God will send you a spouse. If that teaching were true, murdering slime balls like this guy in this story never would have been able to marry.

(Link): Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress

Excerpt:

  • James Flanders, the Calvary Chapel Pastor from Florida who was suspected of murdering his mistress who he considered his “second wife” has now plead guilty to manslaughter charges as part of a negotiation for reduced sentencing and a plea deal to lessen his time in prison.

That post in turn links to this one:

(Link):  Former pastor pleads in murder case involving missing woman (VIDEOS)

  • April 2016
  • FORT WALTON BEACH — Former pastor James Ty Flanders pleaded guilty Thursday to killing Marie Jane Carlson in October, 2011 and has shown authorities where he buried her body.
  • Today will begin the “very tedious and time consuming” task of unearthing the corpse, according to State Attorney Bill Eddins.
  • …Flanders, who has been in jail facing the second-degree murder charge since last May 14, finally confessed during plea negotiations to killing Carlson, who he has said he considered his second wife.

Continue reading “Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress”

Taking the Opposite Position from Neo Calvinists Just Because It’s the Opposite of Neo Calvinists

Taking the Opposite Position from Neo Calvinists Just Because It’s the Opposite of Neo Calvinists

I touched on this in an earlier post or two, such as this one: (Link): No Man’s Land – Part 2 – On Post Evangelicals or Ex Christians or Liberal Christians Ignorantly Hopping Aboard Belief Sets They Once Rejected.

But this time, I wanted to discuss Neo Calvinism and spiritual abuse blogs and advocates in particular.

I do not support Neo Calvinism, or even old school Calvinism. I think Calvinism is a crock of crap.

Many of the NC’s (Neo Calvinists, aka YRRs), are arrogant, narrow minded jerks.

My problem with seeing NC guys, their churches, or their positions discussed and picked apart by some bloggers is that the anti NCs go into reactionary mode.

Their positions often time seem not so much well thought out in and of themselves, but that they will take a position opposite of that held by most NCs just because it’s the opposite of that held by NCs.

I do know a little bit about NCs and their theological beliefs, but not as much as their frequent critics.

According to their frequent critics, NCs believe in a literal six day creation, not an old age of the earth.

(As for me, I am NOT an NC, and I believe in a literal six day creation.)

My issue when I visit blogs or Twitter accounts by people who are vehemently anti NC is that they will, it appears to me, automatically take the opposite position on anything John Piper, The Gospel Coaltion, and other NC guys say just to be contrary.

Continue reading “Taking the Opposite Position from Neo Calvinists Just Because It’s the Opposite of Neo Calvinists”

No Man’s Land – Between Agnosticism and Christianity / Also: It’s Emotional Not Intellectual (Part 1)

No Man’s Land – Between Agnosticism and Christianity / Also: It’s Emotional Not Intellectual (PART 1)

This will be a series of posts where my thoughts wander in and out and all over, and it rambles, but there is a point or two behind it.

Since I’ve been in a faith crisis the last couple of years, somewhere between being an agnostic and a Christian, I have noticed I don’t fit in anywhere. I reside in No Man’s Land.

(Even before then, when I was a total, committed Christian, and politically, I was, and am, right wing, I still didn’t fit in at most blogs and forums, including political ones, and including ones for right wingers!

I tend to be one of those personalities who annoys or angers everyone, even those on “my side” of an issue, except a small number of people, who are either on my side of a topic or not, who “get me” or who appreciate where I’m coming from – again, this is true for even the ones who disagree with me on whatever topic we are discussing.)

I am in this really weird place now, where I am critical of some aspects of conservative Christianity, and see where conservative Christians get some doctrines and other things wrong, but, too, I am not fully on board with militant atheism (I find the New Atheists to be arrogant, vile, hateful and rude), and I don’t even care for lukewarm atheism.

Nor am I in the camp of anything and all things liberal Christianity, except where I think they get the occasional point correct (such as their rejection of gender complementarianism).

Since drifting away from the Christian faith more the last few years, I more often began frequenting forums or blogs for and by atheists, ones by liberal Christians, ones by ex Christians, or by Christians who were abused by a former church who remain Christian but who dropped out of Church, or who now are on a crusade to expose abuse by preachers or the absurdity and harm of current evangelical gimmicks.

THE MILITANT ATHEISTS

A clarification: when I say I have been visiting atheist forums and blogs more often, I am very picky about which ones I regularly visit.

I do not like the frothing- at- the- mouth, extremely bitter, biased- against- Christians- type atheistic communities.

The bitter atheist groups sound like a bunch of irrational, hate-filled loons who reject Christianity for emotional reasons, but who lie to others and themselves and say, “Oh no, it’s purely intellectual.”

But their unrelenting, insane amount of hatred at any and all things God and Christian, is just a total turn-off to me, so I try to avoid such sites.

These angry, always-ranting atheists are really nothing more than Fundamentalist Atheists or Taliban Atheists. They are just as dogmatic about their atheism as Muslims are in their Wasabi Islam or Baptists are in their Neo Fundamentalism.

Really, those types of atheists are just as bad as the religious groups they claim they hate, but they don’t seem to spot that they are. It’s ironic – and it’s hard to stomach the day in, day out anger and hatred, so I try to avoid their sites.

HYPOCRITICAL CHRISTIANS VS NON HYPOCRITICAL CHRISTIANS

Also, you have to be honest with yourself, which I do not find militant atheists to be, by and large: not every single Christian is a hypocrite, jerk, idiot, dullard, or complete jackhole.

I say this as someone who is very fed up with Christianity and Christian persons myself these days.

But your average militant atheist will never admit that some Christians are in fact okay and not being hypocrites.

I have known and met a few Christians who were sincerely trying to live the Christian faith out, such as my mother, who is now deceased, and her mother before her (my grandmother).

I’ve met a few honest, sincere Christians online who do help people and show compassion to the wounded.

So it’s not fair to completely dismiss the entirety of Christians and their faith or treat them all like jerks because some are liars, mean, or abusive.

Which is not easy for me personally, because at the same time, I do keep noticing that a lot of self-professing believers do NOT live out what the Bible says.

Many self professing Christians today, for example, do not protect victims, such as young church members who have been sexually molested by preachers.

Nor do many church goers today hold accountable preachers who bilk their church goers out of millions to buy big mansions and jets.

These idiots, these lemmings, actually defend their greedy pastors online, which I’ve written about here: (Link): Your Preacher Sucks – and People Have a Right To Say So And Explain Why.

Then you have a conservative or evangelical culture, which claims to care deeply that people preserve sex until marriage, but if you actually find yourself 40 years of age and still single – and therefore still a virgin, such as myself – these same churches and Christians do not offer you any support.

You either go ignored, or preachers and talking heads of such groups “run down” and insult celibacy as well as older, celibate adults. Churches treat single (and especially celibate) adults as though they are flawed, lepers, weirdos, or losers.

Churches wrongly counsel abused wives to return to their spouses – this is particularly true, again, of churches or Christian groups who buy into “biblical womanhood” (aka “gender complementariansm”) or “patriarchy.”

Churches and average Christians also remain ignorant or callous about matters pertaining to mental health issues, from P.T.S.D. to depression and anxiety attacks.

Some Christians wrongly and insensitively teach that “real Christians” can never get depression or other mental health maladies.

Or, some Christians believe and teach that prayer, faith, service to the poor, or Bible reading alone can cure one of mental illness.

Still other Christians (or the same type) will shame and guilt suffering Christians for using anti-depressant medications, or for seeing secular or Christian psychiatrists and therapists (see this link for more, “Over 50 Percent of Christians Believe Prayer, Bible Reading Alone Can Cure Mental Illness (article) – In Other Words Half of Christians are Ignorant Idiots Regarding Mental Illness”).

Yet other Christians are incompetent at, or unwilling, to provide more ordinary, “every day,” run- of- the- mill comfort to other Christians who are hurting, such as a Christian who is stressed out over a job loss, someone who is in mourning for a deceased loved one, etc.

Christians are dropping the ball in numerous ways.

And this failure, this huge failure, causes life long Christians like me to look long and hard at the faith and wonder if it’s true at all.

It causes even someone such as myself to ask if the faith is true, because

  • it doesn’t appear to be working,
  • it doesn’t make a difference in people’s life who profess it,
  • most who claim to follow Christ don’t actually do what he taught,
  • and some Christians refuse to hold Christians caught in bald faced sin accountable but excuse them for the sin,

~ and it makes you wonder “what is the point, then.”

I find this discrepancy between confessed belief and actual practice shocking, because I myself sincerely tried living out the faith since childhood.

Also, my Christian mother was a role model for me, and she genuinely, consistently lived out and by biblical teachings, including getting up off her ass and actually HELPING people (giving them money if they were in a bind, cleaning their homes for them when they were sick, listening to them cry and rant about their problems for hours without judging them or interrupting them, etc).

I am not seeing most other Christians do any of this. They say they believe in those things but then they do not do them.

BLOGS AND FORUMS FOR SPIRITUALLY ABUSED OR THOSE HURT BY CHURCHES

Before I actually get into this topic (which I discuss more in Posts 2 and 3), here is some background leading up to it.

As far as the sites I have visited by liberal Christians, ex Christians, atheists, as well as sites by Christians for the spiritually abused:

By and large, these have been wonderful, supportive sites and groups to visit (the ones run by Christians for hurting Christians).

I have noticed, though, that there are problems even within these types of communities, and I don’t entirely fit in at them, either.

Continue reading “No Man’s Land – Between Agnosticism and Christianity / Also: It’s Emotional Not Intellectual (Part 1)”

Mega Church Preacher Bob Coy Caught In What Some Sources Saying Case of Adultery and Porn Addiction

Mega Church Preacher Bob Coy Caught In What Some Sources Saying Case of Adultery and Porn Addiction

Nov 2017 Update:

Ex Preacher Bob Coy Accused of Molesting Toddler And Abuse Lasted Until Kid Was A Teen


I see no point in Christian single women abiding by the “be not yoked to an unbeliever” teaching, usually interpreted as meaning a Christian should not marry a Non Christian, when so many professing Christian males, even preachers, are adulterers, child molesters, porn addicts, and wife beaters.

Here’s news of mega Calvary Church pastor Bob Coy, who was apparently caught having affairs – to give the guy credit, he’s at least resigning, is my understanding. Most preachers, when caught in sin, hang on to their preacher job tooth and nail, though their affairs disqualify them from remaining.

At least one site I have seen so far says Coy was caught having about two affairs this past year and has a porn addiction or porn habit.

Married people are not more mature, sexually pure, responsible, or godly than adult singles!

I have several more comments below, under one of the long excerpts.

(Link): Confessing Moral Failure, Megachurch Pastor Bob Coy Resigns From Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale

    After confessing to a moral failing in his life that disqualifies him from continuing his leadership, Bob Coy on Sunday resigned as senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale in Florida, effective immediately.

Coy has served as senior pastor since the church was founded in 1985…

According to sources familiar with the matter, Coy confessed to key leaders on Wednesday. A board meeting was called on Thursday, in which he confessed and resigned.

(Link): Bob Coy quits megachurch after ‘moral failure’: Coy’s images pulled by church

(Link): Pastor Bob Coy: Megachurch founder quits, confessed he cheated on wife (Video)

    April 8, 2014

Bob Coy, the Florida Megachurch Pastor of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, has resigned after confessing to key leaders in his church that he had cheated on his wife. “Bob Coy reportedly confessed to key leaders that he cheated on his wife Wednesday. A board meeting was called the next day, when he resigned,” reported Local 10.com on April 7.

According to an April 6 official statement by the Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Bob Coy resigned as Senior Pastor on April 3, 2014, “effective immediately,” after having confessed to “a moral failing in his life” which disqualified the pastor from continuing his leadership role at the church.

Here is Spiritual Sounding Board blog’s (owned by Julie Anne) coverage of the story, which I think you will find very interesting:

(Link): Calvary Chapel Pastor Bob Coy’s Story of Moral Corruption Leads Calvary Chapel Members to Share Their Personal Stories

After a link or excerpt or two about Coy’s resignation pertaining to adultery and a pornography habit, Julie Anne gets into a more generalized commentary on the problems associated with Calvary Chapel churches.

Julie Anne also provides this copy of a post by a woman named Lianne from the Calvary Chapel Abuse blog – I found this pertinent to this blog: by Lianne ((Link): comment source)

    (post by Lianne)

I am a former CC wife. Former is the key word! My ex husband was in ministry in South Florida. He was heavily influenced by CCCM Pastors who viewed me as too worldly to be his wife. They planted many lies in his head about me that had no merit but that he very much took to heart.

What I did not know was two years before we had met, my ex husband had confessed to the head Pastor his sexual issues including visiting strip clubs and buying pornography. His punishment was a month off and then right back into Ministry. Not once during marriage counseling did either one of them disclose this very important information to me.

What took place after our wedding was nothing short of a living hell. I had no clue the seriousness of his sexual addiction.

… We were later transferred to a Central Florida CC where he was on staff.

… My ex husbands sexual issues continued to run rampet [sic], so much so he was caught at church having viewed several pornographic material. Once again, nothing was done. I was scolded told I needed to be more sexual for my husband everything would be ok!

This same year I discovered his former Pastor was forced to resign from his position due to sexual harassment of another staff members wife. What happened after was sickening. He was called back to CCCM by the founder to serve as Associate Pastor. He was eventually fired from CC but not until the damage was done.

My ex was a fraud. He preached dating wasn’t of God. He preached not to be alone with any girl or to hold hands. Not kissing before marriage. Yet behind close doors he was having disgusting sexual conversations with woman online and had an active membership to a pornography store in town. Yes everyone makes mistakes and everyone sins. But that is why God holds Pastors and teachers to a higher standard than anyone else.

…After much prayer, I took the out the Lord gave me and divorced him.

I would encourage you to visit Spiritual Sounding Board blog to read (Link): the entire very eye-opening entry there.

I am truly sorry for what Lianne, the lady above, went through, but I think it serves as a warning for Christian single ladies: please, I beg you, stop holding out for a Christian guy.

Men who profess to be Christians are not better than Non Christian males.

Continue reading “Mega Church Preacher Bob Coy Caught In What Some Sources Saying Case of Adultery and Porn Addiction”