The Cruel, Capricious Loki-Sounding God of Naive Christians, Concerning Singleness and Marriage – If Only You Had Waited Five More Minutes!

The Cruel, Capricious God of Naive Christians, Concerning Singleness and Marriage – If Only You Had Waited Five More Minutes!

I had tinkered with doing a blog post about this very subject a year or more ago and never got around to it.

(I often have one or two topics mulling in my mind that I would like to blog about but sometimes never get around to writing about them, or only after many months.)

Since I recently addressed this topic in a post on SSB blog, I decided to repeat it here.

I have actually had this happen to me a handful of times on Twitter and Christian forums or blogs.

Someone at the SSB blog, a never married (I believe) adult male who is now past the age of 40 or 50, was remarking how he would have a billion dollars by now, if only he had five dollars every time a Christian had told him since he was a kid, “God will provide you with a spouse.”

I know exactly what he means, because I’ve encountered that cliche’ myself, or seen it repeated in articles for Christian singles many times since I was a kid, too.

Even worse than that is the variation I’ve gotten from one or two other Christians online.

The “If Only You Had Held On, Prayed and/or Trusted and Waited Another ‘X’ Number Minutes, God Was Going to Send You A Spouse” Obnoxious Cliche’

As I remarked on SSB (with a few variations and clarifications added to this version on my blog):

The Christians who utter this variation of the “Trust God to provide you with a spouse” cliche’ tell me not to give up faith in God on this matter right now, because…

(Hold on to your hats!! Get ready!)

What if God was planning on sending me my spouse five minutes from now, and just think,

if only I had held on for another two or five minutes, my dream of marriage would come true!!11!!!1

(I cannot possibly begin to add enough exclamation points to that last statement these types of Christians excitedly quote at me online.)

I don’t find that thought comforting at all, that if only I had waited two more seconds, God would have answered my prayer the way I had hoped and wanted.

On the contrary, it sounds like a cruel and capricious God.

Continue reading “The Cruel, Capricious Loki-Sounding God of Naive Christians, Concerning Singleness and Marriage – If Only You Had Waited Five More Minutes!”

Evangelicals and the Republican Party, as of September 2015

Evangelicals and the Republican Party, as of September 2015

While I myself am right wing and still pretty socially conservative, I’m not as into social conservatives necessarily using the politics or laws to try to make everyone else live life as they see fit (and the left wing does this as well – I do not support liberals who try to cram liberal life style choices or left wing views down people’s throats, either).

Here’s an interesting article that talks about social conservatives, evangelicals, and how they are faring politically, and how they view the GOP.

(Link):  Evangelicals and the Carson Illusion by 


  • September 2015
  • But evangelical culture, as James Davison Hunter notes in (Link): “To Change the World,” his magisterial account of recent Christian engagement with American politics, has a particular fondness for the idea of the history-altering individual, the hope that “one person can stand at the crossroads and change things for good.”

  • As Hunter’s book points out, neither political nor cultural change usually happens like this. Instead, it comes from networks, institutions, interest groups, and it requires strategy, alliance-building and steady pressure.

  • This is part of why evangelical Christians, notwithstanding their numbers, tend to have less influence over actual Republican governance than fiscal conservatives or foreign-policy hawks. They’re always looking for a hero (or heroine), while the party’s other factions focus on staffing decisions and policy commitments, where the real work of politics takes place.

  • In this election cycle, though, the evangelical hero quest is particularly self-defeating. With same-sex marriage established nationwide and social liberalism ascendant, religious conservatives have a clear policy “ask” they should be pressing every major Republican contender to embrace.

  • They need guarantees that the next G.O.P. administration will move proactively — through something like Senator Mike Lee’s evolving First Amendment Defense Act — to protect religious schools and charities from losing grants or accreditation or even tax-exempt status because they maintain a traditional position on sexual ethics.

Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)

Duggar pastor to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

I have several news articles I wanted to blog about, a few pertain to Josh Duggar and the Ashley Madison hack (in addition to the link you see in this post, farther below). I don’t know how I’m going to get around to making all the posts I want to make.

There is so much wrong with this item I’m blogging about right now, I’m not sure where to begin.

I’m an unmarried adult over the age of 40. I don’t have a spouse to have sex with, so how does this Floyd dork (he’s head of the SBC) propose I not fall into the “sexual revolution”? See, churches never think about adult singles who may be trying to be celibate.

I get that, yes, this guy’s sermon was probably prompted by marital infidelity (the Josh Duggar Ashley Madison story), but think about how telling a mixed congregation (mixed as in never married adults, divorced, widowed, and married couples) that the way to get someone from falling into sexual sin is to have lots of marital sex with that person.

What are the divorced and other singles supposed to do, then? Preachers never consider how their sermons will impact or come across to the singles.

Secondly, Josh Duggar’s issue extends beyond adultery. He molested some of his sisters and a babysitter when he was a teen-aged boy.

Or, maybe I’m not putting it the right way, but I don’t think having more sex or consistent sex with a spouse is necessarily always going to keep a spouse from cheating, but preachers often present this advice as though marital sex is some kind of magical protection that will keep a married person from sexual sin.

Conversely, when or if a Christian husband commits adultery, rather than hold that husband squarely accountable for his sexual sin, which should be the proper course of action, sexist pig preachers, who often subscribe to gender complementarianism, blame the wives!

These preachers will often say that if a husband has an affair, it’s because the wife was not giving him enough sex, not the right kind of sex, or she “let herself go” (as in, she probably gained weight or whatever).

Famous Christians preacher Mark Driscoll and TV host Pat Robertson have been on record before as saying if a woman lets herself go, doesn’t “put out” enough, or nags her husband too much, all these behaviors can and will drive a man to cheat.

Not only is this attitude sexist, not only does it not put the blame squarely on the cheating man where it belongs, but, most often, it’s not even true.

I have seen interviews in years past with married men who admit they were cheating. They explain that they had affairs for reasons like they enjoyed feeling validated by another woman, or they were feeling depressed, or wanted excitement.

These same men said the problem or blame was not with their wives!

They said their wives were attractive, wonderful, pretty, sexy, put out enough great sex, and so forth. It’s not that these men were married to ugly, fat, frigid, nagging wives, but that they were bored or empty and trying to fill that empty spot, and they thought the way to fill it was by having affairs.

Look at professional golfer Tiger Woods. The guy was married to a drop dead gorgeous super model wife, and he still had numerous affairs on her. I saw photos online of some of his mistresses, and they were no where near as attractive as his wife.

Consider movie actress Halle Berry. She is gorgeous, a multi-millionaire, I’d take it. One of her former husbands (or long time boyfriend) cheated on her.

The fact is, you can be wealthy and sexy and your spouse might still have an affair on you; I’ve seen this happen over and over to rock singers and movie actors.

Being beautiful or having a lot of money is not necessarily going to keep a spouse from straying, yet most Christian preachers keep spreading this lie that if only you are sexy or pretty enough that this will keep your husband from straying.

This approach does not work for Hollywood actors, so what on earth makes these preachers think it will work for Christian married couples?

Considering that Josh Duggar was molesting his own sisters as a teen, I’d say there is maybe something more going on there than a randy guy who cannot “keep it in his pants.”

That is, I seriously doubt having more sex with his wife Anna would have kept this guy from signing up for porn sites, Tweeting at porn actresses, and paying $1500 to have sex with call girls.

Considering that Josh Duggar’s wife Anna had four of his babies in a five or six year time span, it’s obvious to me that they were having sex once in awhile. It’s not as though Anna was withholding sex all the time, if he was getting her pregnant once a year or so.

The only other angle I wonder about in all this is if Josh Duggar, due to his strict Quivering type upbringing, which pretty much presents women as being nothing more than baby factories, has a mind frame where he sees women as either being Virgin Marys or as Total Whores.

I would guess he views his wife as a pro-creational sex mate and the porn star he paid to have sex with as being good for recreational sex. He probably felt duty bound to have sex with his wife.

Based on what I’ve read of Quivering families, or some extreme Christian fundamentalist families, wives are for creating heirs; they are not for having enjoyable sex with. That is what a mistress or prostitute is for.

Also remember one theme I hammer on here on my blog is that much of Christian culture depicts single women (unmarried ones) as being horny slutty slut bags, but these same Christians depict married women as being un-interested in sex.

Ergo, one will often come across preachers in sermons or blogs guilting or shaming married women into “putting out” more often. Supposedly, married women hate sex and have to be shamed into having sex.

Sex and more sex is not always a solution to every problem in life, not even in married life. Sermons like the ones by Floyd covered in the following demonstrate a naive or ignorant view about sex.

To reiterate, sermons like the ones summarized below bother me because they almost always blame the wives. Women are always being blamed by the sexual sins of men, inside the Christian religion as well as others, such as Islam.

I think the guy below, Floyd, mentions men and women, but the undercurrent is always “blame women, even if the man is at fault – find some way to pin blame on the wife for the husband’s sexual sin.”

(Link):  Duggar pastor [SBC Ronnie Floyd] to married couples: Have lots of sex or lose your spouse to the ‘sexual revolution’

  • Aug 24, 2015, by T Gettys
  • …The pastor [Ronnie Floyd] at the Duggar family’s church devoted his sermon to infidelity — which he blamed on pressures created by the “sexual revolution” — just days after Josh Duggar admitted to adultery when his Ashley Madison accounts were revealed.
  • Ronnie Floyd — president of the Southern Baptist Convention and senior pastor of Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas, where the Duggars have attended — spoke against homosexuality, divorce and couples living together before marriage during Sunday’s sermon, reported People.

Continue reading “Duggar Pastor to Married Couples: Have Lots of Sex or Lose your Spouse to the ‘Sexual Revolution’ – (A Brief Critique of This View)”

Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus

I discussed on an older post how, since girlhood, I have really liked motorcycles and still do. I was a tom boy when I was a kid.

I was not into most girly hobbies, but my mother, who was a traditional Christian, tried to pique my interest in girly things by buying me dolls when I was a little girl.

My mother later relented a bit and bought me Evel Knievel toysI was a big fan of Evel Knievel back in the day, and I loved motorcycles.

Evel Knievel
Evel Knievel

I still maintain an interest in motorcycles but have never owned one. I was also into other people, things, or hobbies that were considered more boyish.

Should you wonder: I am a heterosexual woman who does not act or look “butch.” I can wear jeans with chucks and turn around and look damn stunning in short skirts and high heels the next. Men flirt with me and ask me out on dates.

Me being interested in motorcycles and things considered boyish since childhood did not result in me becoming terribly unfeminine or a lesbian.

I mention this because I think one reason some Christians assume if they can make little boys and girls adhere to narrow parameters of what they consider “manly” and “womanly” (which is almost always built on secular cultural stereotypes), that they can keep kids from becoming homosexual later in life.

I’ve written a little bit more about some of these subjects in an older post here:

I have discussed before how the conservative, gender Christian gender complementarian approach to gender has been a big turn-off to me, and how it’s one factor of many that makes it difficult to remain in the Christian faith.

Though I will say that Christians who teach and promote Christian gender egalitarianism are a source of encouragement, such as (Link): Christians For Biblical Equality, or (Link): these guys.

I was raised as a gender complementarian – both my parents are Christians who are into traditional gender roles, and my mother encouraged me to be a typical girly girl. (My mother has since passed away.)

For years and years, I felt and believed that the Bible does endorse the Christian gender complementarian view, as is promoted by CBMW (Christians for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood organization. They have a web site. I hesitate to link to their site from my blog. I really hate linking to their site).

As I grew older, I began suspecting that GC (gender complementarianism) is not true, based upon a closer look at the biblical text itself, which has examples in both Old and New Testaments of women, with God’s stamp of approval, leading and teaching men and killing men. I later totally abandoned the GC perspective.

I still remain a right wing, socially conservative, Republican-voting individual who is, by and large, on board with traditional values. Therefore, and contrary to what GCs fear and promote, jettisoning their position on gender is not a slippery slope; it does not always or necessarily turn a person into a liberal, a Democrat, pro-choicer, or a militant secular feminist.

Several days ago, some writer at CBMW, Grant Castleberry,  wrote a paper about how Target stores are removing signage that says “Boys” and “Girls” from their toy sections. Here is a link to that page, hosted on CBMW:

There were several rebuttals to this CBMW post (most of these written by Christians), such as:

(Link):  Target Is Not Trying to Destroy Gender by Laura Turner

(Link):  Why is the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Targeting My Kids? by Tim Fall

(I have disagreed with Tim Fall on a previous topic, but he’s a good egg, and I agree with him more often than not. I certainly agree with him on this Target story)

(Link):  I’m a woman, and God created me to do math and build robots

(Link):   Bigots Lose It Over Target’s Boy Toy Policy by S. Allen


  • Target’s move toward gender-neutral toy aisles has us celebrating. But some unhappy people are threatening to boycott the store.
  • …And after (Link): Breitbart falsely reported that Target would be “getting rid of the words ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ on clothing” in addition to toys, many on Facebook are under the impression that the company will be removing all gender-based signs from its stores. The original post made it clear that keeping gender-based signage for apparel sections “makes sense” due to “fit and sizing differences.” Target has since (Link): reiterated to several customers: “We are not making any changes to our Men’s, Women’s, Boys’, Girls’, or Baby sections.”
  • …“I have news for [Target] and for everyone else,” he wrote. “God created two different genders.”
  • Fox & Friends found (Link): a psychotherapist who said that the decision went “overboard” and implied that children might “question what their gender is” if they were taken into a Target store without gender-based signage. The caption on the segment: “‘Sign’ of the Times.” Nothing like some light Second Coming humor to kick off your morning.
  • (Link): Blaze contributor and self-declared “professional truth sayer” Mike Walsh blamed Target’s decision on “a few hypersensitive, hyperliberal parents” in a provocative post headlined, “Yes, Target, I Do Want My Daughter to Conform to Her Gender.”
  • Wrote Walsh: “I won’t attempt to defend every gender stereotype or ‘gender norm,’ but I do subscribe to the radical theory that boys and girls are different and distinct from one another in complex, concrete, and important ways, and many of the dreaded ‘norms’ are, well, normal and biological.”
  • Walsh conveniently lays bare the fundamental internal contradiction in the anti-Target outcry: If gender is a universal, biological, and God-ordained constant, then why do children need cultural reinforcement from a retail chain to figure it out? In the bizarro world of far-right logic, gender is at once the strongest force on the planet and the most fragile.
  • The God of Genesis may have created male and female but unless Target puts these words on signs for action figures and Barbie dolls, all of His hard work will be undone.
  • The protests seem to be motivated by the paradoxical fear that children will grow up genderless without Target’s help even though their biology should supposedly guide them into pink and blue aisles without any intervention.
  • But Target is not attacking gender itself, only the outdated idea that girls and boys should play with certain shapes and colors of molded plastic and not others.

Continue reading “Christian Gender Complementarians, Target Removing Gender Store Signs, Women and Motorcycles, Social Science Doesn’t Confirm that Men Are From Mars / Women From Venus”

Men Who Have Children Younger Die By Mid-Life -early marriage also involved, says researchers

Men Who Have Children Younger Die By Mid-Life -early marriage also involved, says researchers

So much for the evangelical, Reformed, and Southern Baptist method of guilt tripping and shaming people into early marriage – and parenthood.

They’ve been having fits about the fact that Christians are either not marrying at all (or not having children at all), or are not marrying or having children until later in life, so they’ve been screaming at Christians to marry before they are 25 and to start cranking out kids really young.

Check this out:

(Link):   How the Age You Become a Father Predicts Mortality

  • August 4, 2015
  • By Patricia Reaney
  • NEW YORK, Aug 4 (Reuters) – First-time dads in their early 20s may have the energy and agility to keep up with their young children, but a new study shows early fatherhood can pose perils later in life.
  • Research by Finnish researchers showed that becoming a father before the age of 25 is linked to a higher chance of dying in middle age.“Men who have a child before the age of 22 have a very clear higher midlife mortality than men who have children later, at an average age of 25 to 26,” said Dr. Elina Einio of the University of Helsinki.

Continue reading “Men Who Have Children Younger Die By Mid-Life -early marriage also involved, says researchers”

Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

This editorial applies to anyone and everyone, but I’ve noticed that evangelicals, Baptists, and other conservative Christians are quite fond of shaming, arguing, or guilt tripping Christians into getting married and having children and by a certain age.

I would encourage you to click through and read this entire link below. I am not in the mood to copy or paste the whole thing here, and some people don’t like it when you reproduce an entire blog post from their blog on yours.

So do click through to read the whole thing, because there are huge chunks of arguments this author raises to defend you making your own choices on when to have children rather than being shamed into having kids when other people say you should – ones that don’t appear in my excerpts below.

(Link): Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids


  • by Tracy Moore
  • For the first time in seven years, the birth rate has (Link): risen. The 1 percent increase is attributed to women in their 30s and 40s popping ‘em out a smidge faster.

  • But, before you begin to celebrate the expansion of motherhood’s age range, here are a bunch of statistics from a piece at Quartz that says that those older moms and dads are miserable—and that it’s high time they stopped pretending otherwise.

Continue reading “Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids”

Baptists Still Advocating Unbiblical Bedroom Evangelism as Growth Strategy (2015)

Baptists Still Advocating Unbiblical Bedroom Evangelism as Growth Strategy (2015)

While the Bible does not speak against a married Christian couple having children and raising them to hopefully be Christians, the Bible nowhere advocates “bedroom evangelism,” yet I continue to see Christians promoting this notion, which marginalizes people who are unmarried, child free, or infertile.

The Bible’s main approach to evangelization is to tell believers to go to other towns and cities and spread the Gospel. The Bible does not tell Christians to marry and make babies and raise babies as Christians.

To put this much attention on to procreation and marriage is to exclude infertile Christians, the divorced, widows, the child free (couples who choose not to have children) and the never married.

It is to tell the divorced, never married, widows, the child free, and the infertile and anyone else who does not fit the “Married with Kids” trope that spreading the Gospel is not for them, it is a task only for married couples who are fertile and who want to have children.

(Link): Here are three reasons why Southern Baptists are on the decline


  • June 16 2015
  • But evangelism is multifaceted. It includes everything from planting new churches to bringing up children in the faith.
  • Retention is especially important for generational continuity in churches.
  • Although Pew’s numbers suggest that evangelicals do tend to replace those they lose with new members, virtually all churches depend upon “children of the church” – people raised in Christian families – for the bulk of their members.
  • SBC churches need to make sure its parents are equipped to explain and model the Christian life to their children.

This authors, who are presumably Baptist, I take it – are in error to encourage Baptist growth by Baptist biological procreation.

They should instead be telling all Baptists, whether single, divorced, infertile, or childfree, to tell their Non Christian neighbors about Jesus.

They do, earlier, discuss the following:

  • Few [Christians] tell others about their faith, or invite co-workers and neighbors to church

But then the authors follow that paragraph with the one I excerpted above, advocating for bedroom evangelization. The solution is not for Christians to marry and have children, but for Christians of all martial statuses to share their faith with Non-Christians.


Related Posts:

(Link):  If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t, by John B. Carpenter, CP Guest Contributor

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

(Link):  Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link):  Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc

(Link):  “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link):  Southern Baptists open to reaching out to LGBT – but still don’t give a flying leap about HETERO CELIBATE UNMARRIED ADULTS

(Link):  Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

(Link):   Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals”

(Link): Southern Baptists (who don’t TRULY support sexual purity) Announce 2014 Sex Summit

(Link): Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

(Link): Southern Baptists – Still Majoring in the Minors and ignoring the never married (singles) – Why Church Membership is Down

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): Southern Baptists Perpetuate Myths About Genders, Sex, and Adult Singles at 2014 ERLC Summit – All Women Are harlots, men cannot control themselves

(Link): Divorce Rates in America Decreasing But Divorce Rates on Increase Among Southern Baptists

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link):  Biblical Womanhood Does Not Hinge Upon Marital Status or Parenthood – also: Christians who portray all women as sexual temptresses – by S. Burden

Woman Who Helped Inmates Make Prison Break Cheated on Her Husbands – Her First Husband Claims

Woman Who Helped Inmates Make Prison Break Cheated on Her Husbands Her First Husband Claims

Early this morning, I was watching news coverage about the woman who helped the two guys escape from some prison.

The anchor person said that the woman’s first husband said that she had two or more affairs on him when they were married, and I believe the news program said she was cheating on husband two with one of the inmates, or was being flirted with by the inmates, which is why she helped them.

I find this funny.

And I am so terribly sorry to keep beating this very dead horse here on my blog, but, any time I come across news stories of married people behaving badly – whether they are having affairs, mugging little old ladies, or helping inmates in prison breaks – It makes me laugh.

I grew up in a Baptist and evangelical culture that told me constantly, in sermons, books, TV shows and so on, that being married (and a parent) were necessary milestones in life. That if you remain single and/or childless, you are obviously immature and ungodly.

A lot of conservative Christians really feel that marriage and pro-creation are necessary life steps to attain maturity and other positive characteristics.

The Bible, of course, teaches none of this CRAP, but these assumptions by 95% of conservative Christians never stop.

Here are links about the woman who helped the men to escape (and again, she was married. I do not know if she had children or not).

I will see if I can find online reports confirming that she had affairs in the past, or with the inmates.

After having read more stories about this woman, Joyce Mitchell, she sounds like a whore-bag.

(Link):  EXCLUSIVE: Prison worker who agreed to drive ‘Shawshank’ escapees is ‘a troublemaker’ and a ‘serial cheater’ claims EX-HUSBAND, who says he could see her falling for someone in prison

  • Joyce Mitchell, 51, known at Tillie, worked at Clinton Correctional Facility and confessed she planned to drive getaway car for escapees
  • Tillie is suspected of helping the two killers escape, thinking that she had a future with one of them – Richard Matt
  • Her ex-husband Tobey Premo, 51, tells Daily Mail Online that his wife was a serial cheater
  • ‘I was devastated,’ he said. ‘I kissed her on the bus when I was 16 and I liked her ever after’
  • Former colleague Nancy Hewitt tells Daily Mail Online Tillie was caught having sex on the railroad tracks near her former place of employment
  • She was cheating on Premo with Lyle Mitchell, her current husband

(Link): Watch Live: Cuomo, Shumlin give update on prison break

  • After all the meticulous planning Richard Matt and David Sweat put into breaking out of prison, their plan on the run may be much less sophisticated.
  • Two convicted killers escaped from the maximum-security facility in Dannemora, N.Y.
  • He said officers have been asked to be “extra vigilant” in light of the continuing search. “My windows are locked and everything”. They were married for five years until she had at least two affairs, according to the Daily Mail. Among them is Joyce Mitchell, a training supervisor in the tailor shop where Sweat and Matt worked.

Investigators believe Mitchell planned to pick up the inmates after their escape, but changed her mind at the last minute, a source familiar with the investigation told CNN.

(Link):  Prison employee arrested, charged with aiding escape of two murderers

  • The female prison employee at the center of an investigation into the escape of two killers was arrested Thursday and charged with helping them flee the maximum security facility.
  • Maj. Charles Guess of the New York State Police told an evening press conference Joyce Mitchell, 51, faced one felony and one misdemeanor charge related to aiding Richard Matt and David Sweat, who escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York one week ago.

(Link):  Prison worker is ARRESTED for helping ‘Shawshank’ escapees – amid claims she ‘gave them hacksaws, had affairs with BOTH of them and that her husband helped too’ 

  • Mitchell ‘admitted to giving Richard Matt and David Sweat prohibited items’
  • These included hacksaw blades, drill bits and goggles with attached lights
  • Married mother-of-one also ‘agreed to be getaway driver, but got cold feet’
  • The female prison worker who allegedly helped two murderers escape from a New York prison last weekend by supplying them with prohibited items has been charged in the breakout.

  • Joyce Mitchell, an industrial training supervisor at Clinton Correctional Facility in Dannemora, also reportedly agreed to be the getaway driver for Richard Matt and David Sweat, but got cold feet.

  • The 51-year-old grandmother was arrested on Friday evening on charges that she aided the pair in their extraordinary escape last Saturday.

  • She will be arraigned on counts of promoting prison contraband in the first degree – a felony – and criminal facilitation in the fourth degree – a misdemeanor – on Friday night, officials said.

  • Mitchell is rumored to have had affairs with both Matt, 48, and Sweat, 34, before providing them with contraband for their escape, including hacksaw blades, drill bits and goggles with lights.

(Link):  Prison Worker in Love Arrested for Helping Murderers Break Out of Prison

  • Joyce Mitchell, an industrial training supervisor in the tailor shop at Clinton Correctional Facility in Dannemora, New York, has been arrested for her part in helping two convicted murderers, Richard Matt and David Sweat, break out of the prison.
  • Mitchell had developed a romantic relationship with Richard Matt, 48, who violently tortured and killed his elderly boss in 1997 before gruesomely dismembering him with a hacksaw.  The relationship had been the subject of a complaint by a co-worker earlier this year, but the department of corrections’ investigation came back inconclusive.

SBC President Floyd: God Forgives Child Molesting (i.e., Josh Duggar) But Not Transgenderism (Bruce / Caitlyn Jenner)

SBC President Floyd: God Forgives Child Molesting But Not Transgenderism

Floyd is president of the SBC, if I am not mistaken.

It is very inconsistent for a person to say God can and does forgive child molesting but not transgenderism, which is what Floyd has done.

I myself do not support either. Child molesting is revolting, sick, immoral and criminal. I don’t support transgenderism, either.

Transgenderism is a topic I seldom discuss here at my blog for different reasons, one of which, I don’t have a lot of interest in the topic.

I don’t agree with transgenderism, but I do not hate transgender people.

I think it’s hypocritical to support Josh Duggar the self professing child molester, say God can forgive him, but then turn around and condemn Bruce Jenner for dressing like a lady and getting breast implants and insist God cannot or will not forgive that.

In my view, a boy or man molesting a little girl is a hundred billion times worse than an adult male who decides to get breast implants and wear lipstick and skirts.

(Link):  Arkansas pastor says Caitlyn Jenner is defying God but Josh Duggar can be forgiven

  • Wednesday, June 3, 2015, 9:43 AM
  •  The conservative pastor who claimed God can forgive Josh Duggar amid (Link): his molestation scandal said during a fire-and-brimstone sermon that Caitlyn Jenner is defying the way God made her.Ronnie Floyd, the Duggar family’s pastor who heads the Pinnacle Cross Church in Arkansas, said Jenner was a sinner and should no longer be considered an American hero.God made two genders, and “there’s no fluidity to that,” he said.

    But hours after the scathing homily, he (Link): told People that Josh Duggar, who is accused of molesting at least five underage girls when he was a teenager, can be forgiven for his wrongdoing.

  • Jenner, formerly known as Bruce, came out as transgender in (Link): an April interview with Diane Sawyer. The Olympic gold medalist (Link): made her debut as Caitlyn on the cover of Vanity Fair on Monday.Fans praised Jenner for the bold debut — but a day before the magazine cover was released, Floyd called her transition “sad.”
  • (Link): He said in the recorded Sunday address: “But let me tell you what else is sad: the comments from the American culture. Comments like, ‘Once a champion, always a champion.’ Comments like ‘An American hero once again,’”

    Floyd refused to call Jenner by her preferred gender and called her “Bruce” throughout the hourlong speech.

    “Did God make him this way? Absolutely not,” he said.

  • Floyd urged his congregants to raise their children to be the gender in which God created them, saying: “Gender is not fluid. God made you male or female. There’s no fluidity to that.“No such thing as gender neutral. No such thing as unisex,” he said. “Couples, you raise your girls to be girls. Don’t raise them to be anything else other than girls. If they’re decreed by God to be a girl, then they need to be girls.”

    Later that day, Floyd spoke to People about Duggar’s molestation scandal.

     The 27-year-old admitted to “acting inexcusably” and “hurting others” after he was accused of fondling the breasts and genitals of at least five underage girls as a teenager. A (Link): new report released Wednesday revealed that he confessed to molesting his 5-year-old sister when he was 15 years old.

    “Everyone does wrong, and what was wrong was very wrong as to what was testified to and it’s completely unacceptable,” Floyd said of Duggar’s confession. “But I’m thankful, whether it’s him or any other one, that I serve a God who can forgive everything.”

  • Duggar, the eldest of the 19 Duggar children featured on “19 Kids & Counting,” resigned his position as a lobbyist with the Family Research Council, an organization dedicated to preserving family values in America.

(Link):  Duggar family pastor likens Caitlyn Jenner’s ‘sins’ against God to abusing children and family members

(Link): Bruce ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner’s Sexual Transition Is a Sin Against God, Says ’19 Kids and Counting’ Duggar Family Pastor

(Link):  Josh Duggar Pastor Likens Molestation Scandal to Caitlyn Jenner Transition

(Link):  Just Look At This Asshole: Duggar Pastor Says Caitlyn Jenner Is “Defying God”

(Link):  Pastor Says Josh Duggar, Caitlyn Jenner Are Both ‘Sinners’

  • The Duggar family pastor has some thoughts about the Josh Duggar molestation scandal and Caitlyn Jenner.
  • “Everyone does wrong, and what was wrong was very wrong as to what was testified to and it’s completely unacceptable,” Dr. Ronnie Floyd of the Pinnacle Cross Church in Rogers, Arkansas, told People magazine, referring to the allegations that Duggar molested five underage girls when he was a teenager. “But I’m thankful, whether it’s him or any other one, that I serve a God who can forgive everything.”
  • Floyd’s definition of “sin” evidently extends to Caitlyn Jenner as well. On Sunday, he gave a sermon criticizing the Olympic gold medalist and reality star whose July 2015 cover of Vanity Fair is being hailed by people around the world this week. Jenner recently gave an inspirational interview with Diane Sawyer in which she came out as transgender.
  • “You dads, make sure you raise your sons around men who are manly,” Floyd said, according to People magazine. “What’s remarkable about this is the world is applauding. Gender is not fluid.” But added that the Bible says “all humans be treated with dignity and respect,” whatever their sins.
  • “Bruce Jenner is no different from all of us,” Floyd reportedly said in his sermon, using the name by which Caitlyn Jenner was formerly known. “We are all sinners. The key is cleansing our sins through Christ’s grace.”
  • Joel Watts, author of From Fear to Faith: Stories of Hitting Spiritual Walls, explained to The Huffington Post why Floyd might consider Duggar being absolved of sin, but not Jenner.
  • “I think the story with Caitlyn is that [fundamentalists] see the story with Caitlyn as controlling [her] own body, which, for a fundamentalist, is a giant paradox they can’t wrap their head around,” said Watts.
  • “Josh Duggar is a victim [to them], and Caitlyn is making it where God is the victim. Somehow God has made a mistake. It’s hard for them to understand — they generally reject science and psychology anyway.”
  • “For them, they see it as a sin against God directly and they don’t understand. For them, it’s a perversion,” Watts continued. “Josh prayed for his sins and is clearly forgiven. Caitlyn didn’t try hard enough.”

    Floyd was not immediately available for further comment.

(Link):   Duggar family pastor defends ’19 Kids and Counting’ family: God is always forgiving

(Link):  ’19 Kids and Counting’ Duggar Family Church Pastor ‘Surprised’ at Josh Duggar Molestation Charges, But Says ‘We Serve a God Who Can Forgive Anything’


Related Posts:

(Link):   Christian Josh Duggar Resigns from Family Research Council after Sexual Abuse Allegations

(Link):  Christians Teaching That All Sexual Sins Are Equal – Thoughts and Reflections

(Link): Focus on the Family Members Practice Infidelity or Homosexuality and Get Divorced and Remarry – links to exposes

(Link):  Marriage Made Into An Idol by Christians, Christians Who Believe Christian Men Are All Potential Rapists – Examples of these and other Topics

(Link):   A Response To J D Hall’s Vomit-tastic Post about Village Church’s Handling of Certain Members, Covenants, and Marriages

(Link): Where Are America’s Virgins? Discouraging the Virtuous by Julia Duin

Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family (reminder: I myself am right wing)

Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family

For anyone who is new to this blog:

I am conservative, I vote Republican, and don’t agree with Democrats and left wingers on many topics.

I am NOT against traditional marriage or pro-creation.

However, where I part company with many other conservative Christians and right wingers is their tendency to demonize anyone who does not happen (for whatever reason) to marry young, to not marry at all, or who do not have children.

Right wingers and most Christians tend to make an idol out of marriage and the nuclear family, and I am opposed to that tendency.

There is nothing wrong with marriage or the nuclear family.

If you want to marry and have kids (I myself would like to marry), that is swell. Go for it.

My problem is how other conservatives assume the worst of people who are, for whatever reason, whether by choice or by circumstance, single or childless.

A few months ago, I found a bizarre article or two by a conservative Christians who blames HETERO SINGLE CHRISTIANS for the rise in homosexuality.

Seriously. I have no idea how anyone can connect Christian hetero singles to more homosexuality, but they tried.

Here is a link to that former page:

Here is the new page, where DePaulo refutes the idea that hetero singles are causing the breakdown in family and culture.

I agree with much of this editorial by DePaulo, and maybe disagree with only one or two points.

(Link): Who’s Afraid of Single People? by B. DePaulo, October 2014

  • Who should be blamed for the supposed breakdown of family and community ties?
  • There are people who are very afraid of single people. I’m not just talking about the (Link): stereotype of single men as scary criminals (which, by the way, is a  myth (edit: I removed this link, it is to her book Singled Out on Amazon, you may visit Amazon to view it therel) and not a truth).
  • No, there are people who believe that the growing number of single people in America is a threat to our nation. Getting pinned on us single people are “the sharp decline of social trust and the breakdown of community ties.”

Continue reading “Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family (reminder: I myself am right wing)”

Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc

Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc

So, if you are single and a virgin at 35 or 40, where is your support from Southern Baptists? They only care to scream and yell at the 20 somethings of today to get married.

Notice also that one guy in here spits out several of the stereotypes I’ve mentioned on my blog before – he feels that being a virgin past a certain age is impossible or too difficult, and that God has only “wired” men to want sex.

I’m a woman. I experience sexual desire. I’m a virgin in my early 40s. So, quite obviously, it’s not impossible to stay a virgin past 25 or 30, and, God has also wired women to want sex.

By the way, this is a battle they are not going to win. They can beg, cajole, plead, and shame all they like, but at this point in American culture, Americans are simply not going to marry young.

All the shaming, scolding, and cajoling to get Christians from the 1980s to “wait for true love” did not entirely work, because there are many individuals who identify as Christian who have committed fornication.

Not all, mind you – there are some Christian adults who never married and are still virgins. But if the “True Love Waits” type or propaganda did not work for many Christians, where Christians were encouraged to wait until marriage to have sex, what makes these Baptists thinks that similar tactics will work to get people to marry by a certain age?

(Link) Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony

  • March 10, 2015
  • by Blake Farmer
  • Leaders of the country’s largest Protestant denomination have a message for millennials: get married already.The Nashville-based (Link): Southern Baptist Convention and its nearly 16 million members continue to resist societal trends like gay marriage and cohabitation. They also want to go against the grain on the rising marital age.

    But back in 1972, Pam Blume was pretty typical. She was just a few years out of high school when she walked down the aisle.

  • … Andrew Walker is out front on this issue, working for the denomination’s public policy division. Married at 21, Walker sees a sinful side to waiting. For one, it makes the church’s expectation of virginity, in his words, “impractical.”
  • “The reality is, starting at the age of 12, 13, boys and men, growing up into maturity, are hardwired for something that God gave us a desire for and an outlet for,” Walker says. “And so to suppress that becomes more difficult the older you get.”
  •  Walker says he isn’t suggesting a cut-off age to get married. But he writes articles and leads panel discussions on the benefits of youthful matrimony.His work is a minefield of potential awkwardness. During one conference, he introduced his colleague, Lindsay Swartz, but inadvertently made her feel like an old maid.
  • “As the single woman, which I’m not going to bring too much attention to…gentlemen?” Walker said.Swartz, who handles social media for the denomination, says she would love to get married and start a family. But the 30-something also sees drawbacks.

Continue reading “Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc”

According to Some Christians, Russell Moore Drops Ball on how Christians Should Respond to Homosexual Marriage

According to Some Christians, Russell Moore Drops Ball on how Christians Should Respond to Homosexual Marriage

From the description of Hour 1 of Janet Mefferd’s radio program (LINK):

  • And Dr. Russell Moore, president of the Southern Baptist Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, has come under fire for saying government employees who have religious objections to so-called same-sex marriage should resign, rather than stand against an unjust law imposed upon their states. But is that even the right American response, based upon our history and constitutional framework? Paul Blair, chairman of Reclaiming America for Christ, has written an open-letter response to Moore and joins Janet to offer his thoughts.

(Link): Southern Baptist ethicist says Alabama judges must uphold gay marriage law or resign

  • by W Hall
  • NASHVILLE, Tenn. (Christian Examiner) — The head of the Southern Baptist Convention’s public policy arm says Alabama judges who in good conscience cannot issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, should resign instead of fighting the law while in office.
  • Russell D. Moore, president of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission and no relation to Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, was (Link): quoted in the Baptist Press, the SBC’s official news service, as being in conflict with approximately 44 of 67 Alabama probate judges who have refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. These jurists are acting in defiance of an order by U.S. District Court Judge Callie Granade who invalidated an Alabama constitutional amendment, passed by 81 percent of voters, defining marriage in the state as only between one man and one woman.
  • Russell Moore, a national official charged with representing Southern Baptists’ beliefs with regard to culture and public policy, told Baptist Press any judge who “could not discharge the duties of his office required by law” because of objections of conscience “would need to resign and protest it as a citizen.”

    He said that there is a role for civil disobedience, but not for “judges and state Supreme Court justices … in their roles as agents of the state.”

  • Russell Moore cited familiar biblical passages to justify his position that Chief Justice Roy Moore and the defiant probate judges are wrong.

    “As citizens and as Christians, our response should be one of both conviction and of respect for the rule of law (1 Peter 2:13; Romans 13). Our system of government does not allow a state to defy the law of the land,” Russell Moore wrote, according to Baptist Press.

    “Religious freedom and conscience objections must be balanced with a state’s obligation to discharge the law,” the Southern Baptists’ ethicist said.

  • Others have a different take than Russell Moore on the biblical responsibilities of Christian judges facing objections of conscience.

    Southern Baptist Rick Burgess, an overwhelmingly popular Christian radio personality throughout the South and an Alabama native, sent a strongly worded tweet to encourage probate judges who “claim to follow Christ” to “make a stand and refuse to sign same-sex marriage licenses.”

If you will recall, homosexuality is not a topic I care to discuss at my blog. I only bring it up sometimes if it intersects with heterosexual celibacy and singleness or something of that nature.

Russell Moore is a well known putz and leader of SBC’s ethics group. He has, in the past, screwed the pooch on hetero virginity.

Now it appears he is being criticized by some evangelicals for how he feels Christians should handle homosexual marriage.

Given that Moore is a doofus putz concerning hetero sexual sin and purity, don’t be surprised that (from the standard evangelical view) he’s mis-handling homosexuality as well.

Christians Who Take the Bible Literally Cannot Agree On Much of Anything

Christians Who Take the Bible Literally Cannot Agree On Much of Anything 

This is a page that touches on a topic I’ve brought up on my blog a time or two.

(Link):  Unpublished: Being Biblical Means Being Doctrinally Tolerant

The author of that ‘Unpublished’ page mentions Roman Catholicism.

As much as I consider the constant Protestant and Baptist disagreement over certain things in the Bible problematic, I don’t think the solution is becoming Roman Catholic and accepting that their Pope’s ex cathedra statements or their Magisterium is the answer.

Catholics, for one, get all sorts of things wrong – they believe that Mary was bodily assumed into Heaven; they believe that praying to or for the dead is acceptable; they believe in the perpetual virginity of Mary; they believe in Transubstantiation; they reject that salvation is by faith alone – all sorts of wrong things.

Then Roman Catholics tack on 3 or 4 books (called the Apocrypha) to the Jewish and Protestant canon to “prove” to the Protestants that yes, they have “biblical” support for some of their weird doctrines.

Although the Vatican tells Catholics that birth control is wrong and bad, and that pro-life is the way to go, I have seen many news reports that American Roman Catholic women get abortions and use birth control.

Several years ago, I even saw websites by American Roman Catholics who say they support the legalization of abortion. Catholics are not in unity – not even in doctrine, so I do wish they’d stop lobbing this accusation at Protestants, as though the RC is any better.

Their Pope and Magisterium can sit there all day long and claim that the official Roman Catholic stance on Topic X is “blah blah whatever,” but that doesn’t mean the rank and file Catholics are going to agree with it, or follow that doctrine or rule. Because sometimes they don’t.

I do by and large still believe the Bible should be taken literally – as opposed to the liberal Christians who treat the Bible with extreme skepticism or who act like it’s okay to treat the Bible as though it’s silly putty and warp it any way they want – but I do acknowledge some of the points raised in this page:

(Link):  Unpublished: Being Biblical Means Being Doctrinally Tolerant


  • People who claim to literally interpret the inspired and inerrant Word of God do not agree on what the bible says.
  • Christian Smith calls this “pervasive interpretive pluralism.” And this pervasive interpretive pluralism isn’t just found among progressives and liberals. It is found among evangelicals and fundamentalists, among the very people who claim that they are reading the bible very, very literally.
  • Pervasive interpretive pluralism exists among biblical literalists.
  • Which brings us to the problem at the heart of Protestantism.
  • The problem at the heart of Protestantism is that the bible is unable to produce consensus. This isn’t a theological claim. This is an empirical fact.
  • Sola scriptura produces pluralism. The “bible alone” creates doctrinal diversity. Biblical literalism proliferates churches.
  • The alternative is to be delusional, pretending that opening the bible brings everyone to a consensus. Unfortunately, that just doesn’t happen.

Continue reading “Christians Who Take the Bible Literally Cannot Agree On Much of Anything”

The Odd Evangelical Obsession With Sex and Its Ramifications, and How Sexual Purity Material Is Peddled For Profit by Christians: article from The Atlantic: The Warrior Wives of Evangelical Christianity

The Odd Evangelical Obsession With Sex and Its Ramifications: article from The Atlantic: The Warrior Wives of Evangelical Christianity 

Though this post’s title contains the word “Evangelical,” I see some of these same issues discussed below also crop up among some Fundamentalists and Calvinists / Reformed. Self-identifying evangelicals do NOT hold a monopoly on odd views about, or obsession with, sex and marriage, that is for sure.

Here is the link to the article, followed by some observations by me, and farther below that, excerpts from the article (the article goes on to discuss how Christian gender complementarianism, also known as “Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,” can be fertile ground for wife abuse, but I don’t think I will be focusing on that in my post), and I’ll probably make yet more comments below the excerpt:

(Link): The Warrior Wives of Evangelical Christianity by Emma Green

  • The intense focus on sexuality, purity, manhood, and womanhood in certain faith communities—and its consequences.

My thoughts:

I don’t know if I shall be copying portions from the last half of the article, where it discusses how complementarianism can lead to domestic violence or perpetuate it, or how white Christians have co-opted the word “evangelical.”

One section from the last half I did find interesting is where the authors or researchers interviewed who mentioned that what seems to be driving the purity culture and books on marriage and sex is profit – money.

It’s largely white evangelicals who are buying books about sex, marital sex, and sexual purity, so the white authors are pumping this material out to them to make a buck.

I see, of course, that Christians have been selling Jesus as a product for decades now, and I don’t only mean “Jesus Junk” (the t-shirts and bracelets that have Bible verses imprinted on them and so on), but your “Word of Faith” tele-evangelists who sell Jesus to make a profit.

The smarmy Word of Faith preachers promise you that if you tithe, or send them at least a one time check of X amount, that God will heal you, restore your marriage, or bless your finances.

That is pretty bad. But I find it highly distasteful that sexual purity is also being pushed as a money making venture by these people.

I lived out virginity (and I’m over 40 years of age) out of principle and true love for God, and I find it objectionable that evangelicals are turning these issues into a means to make money.

I find it appalling that virginity and sexuality are being shilled for a buck by evangelicals and Neo Calvinists.

That Christians are selling sex as a product at all, even in the form of sexual purity products (such as purity rings), and even under the guise of G-rated to PG- rated (or in the case of preacher Mark Driscoll, R- to- X rated) “marriage (sex)” guidance books, is still selling sex, which makes them like Madams of Whorehouses.

In my opinion, Christians selling sexual purity products or marital sex books is only removed a few degrees from secular culture, which also sells sex, via Playboy magazine, X-rated movies, and using large chested, bikini clad models on TV commercials to sell hamburgers.

I have discussed this before, such as:

(Link):  Sexual Purity, Virginity, and Celibacy As Product – and: Christian Myths That Are Keeping Marriage Minded Single Women Single Courtesy Dannah Gresh

Excerpts from (and I have more thoughts about this far, far below):

(Link): The Warrior Wives of Evangelical Christianity by Emma Green

  • “Your husband will want sex way more than you do,” advises Elizabeth of the blog Warrior Wives in a post called (Link): Wifey Sex Confessions.”
  • “God just made him to think about sex more than you. … Never demean this about him. Never laugh at him or make fun of him. Accept it as a difference.”
  • Accept it as a difference. It may sound like so much cliched marital advice, but this is a much-discussed idea about sexuality in the evangelical Christian community: Men and women are different.

Continue reading “The Odd Evangelical Obsession With Sex and Its Ramifications, and How Sexual Purity Material Is Peddled For Profit by Christians: article from The Atlantic: The Warrior Wives of Evangelical Christianity”

Former Southern Baptist Minister Richard Shahan Charged With Killing His Wife

This is an update to a news story I have posted about before, one that demonstrates the frequent conservative Christian claim that marriage makes people more godly and mature is hog wash.

(Link):  Former Baptist minister indicted for murder


  • Richard Shahan, former children’s minister at First Baptist Church in Birmingham, Ala., is accused of fatally stabbing his wife and cutting her throat in July 2013.
  • By Bob Allen

    A former children’s minister at Southern Baptist churches has been indicted for the murder of his wife 15 months ago in Homewood, Ala., local media reported Oct. 23.

  • The (Link): reports cited court documents showing that Richard Shahan, 53, former children and families pastor and facilities director at First Baptist Church in Birmingham, Ala., was indicted in August but the information wasn’t made public until Oct. 22.

    Karen Louise Shahan, 52, was found dead July 23, 2013, in the home the couple rented from First Baptist Church, where Richard Shahan had served since 2009. Shahan told police he was out of town visiting the couple’s adult children.

  • ….A district attorney said at a bond hearing Jan. 16 that e-mails confiscated from Shahan’s computer indicate that once out of the country he planned to move to the United Kingdom and marry his boyfriend, had said goodbye to his family and planned never to return to the United States.
  • ….Shahan is a 1985 graduate of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. He was licensed as a minister by South Del Baptist Church in Del City, Okla., in 1980 and ordained in 1983 by Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.
  • ….On Thursday NBC affiliate WVTM Alabama’s 13 in Birmingham (Link): quoted the grand jury indictment alleging that Shahan killed his wife by “stabbing her and cutting her throat with an unknown object.”

Here is the original post about this:

(Link):  Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Christian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb!

Southern Baptist Church Music Minister in Kentucky, Age 62, Pays Father of 11 Year Old Girl For Sex Several Times

For anyone new to this blog:

This news story touches on two common themes I comment on here.

First of all, many conservative Christians harbor this unbiblical, untrue idea that marriage and being a parent somehow makes a person more loving, godly, ethical, or compassionate than someone who never marries, or is not yet married, or who is childless.

Secondly, Christians will tell you that you are in sin or in error if you are a Christian and marry a Non-Christian (the be equally yoked teaching).

The problem with this yoked teaching is that there are not enough Christian men for the ladies who wish to marry, leaving the ladies to go through life single unless they are willing to marry Non Christians.

Secondly, many Christian men are perverts – they are porn addicts, wife abusers, they rape children and so forth, so that I see no advantage in a Christian woman holding out for a Christian mate, all based on one or two Bible verses that mention in passing “equally yoked” and “a woman should only marry in the lord when husband number one dies.”

I firmly believe a Christian woman, or any woman, needs to consider a man’s character, his past, and his actions more so than any professed belief in Jesus, or whatever other deity. You cannot be guaranteed of getting a steady, reliable, loving partner just based on the fact if the guy says he believes in Jesus, reads the Bible, prays, or teaches Sunday School at the local church.

Another example below.

(And notice the reactions of the people who went to church with this pervert, who were interviewed: they say they are stunned, because the information that he is a deviant “does not fit with the man they knew at church.”)

And what kind of father sells his 11 year old daughter for sex at $100 a pop (or at any amount, or hey, giving her away for sex for free would also be reprehensible)? See, being a parent does not make a person necessarily more “godly” or responsible than being a non-parent.

(Link): Southern Baptist Church Music Minister in Kentucky, Age 62, Pays Father of 11 Year Old Girl For Sex Several Times

Excerpts (to read the full article, please use the link above):

  • A Southern Baptist music minister in Kentucky faces federal charges stemming from alleged sexual exploitation of a 10-year-old girl.
  • By Bob Allen
  • A Southern Baptist music minister remains in custody after his Oct. 16 arrest by the FBI’s Child Exploitation Task Force in LaGrange, Ky.
  • Howard Key Chambers, 62, minister of music at DeHaven Baptist Church in La Grange, Ky., was (Link): denied bail Oct. 22 in U.S. District Court.
  • …At last week’s hearing in Louisville, prosecutors claimed Chambers posted an ad describing a sex fantasy on Craigslist, and through it met a man who offered to let him pay to have sex with his 10-year-old daughter. Chambers allegedly engaged in sex acts with the girl, now 11, seven or eight times during the past year, paying $100 to $200 to the father in exchange.

    … The father also faces federal charges, but he is not being identified out of concern for the child.

    Members of DeHaven Baptist Church said the allegations against Chambers don’t match the man they know.

  • “This kind of thing just really took the wind out of us,” church member Gary Rawlings told WDRB. Rawlings said he usually ate dinner with Chambers at the church on Wednesday night. “Really a fine, fine fellow,” he said, “was doing a great job as a music minister.”

    DeHaven Baptist Church is affiliated locally with Oldham-Trimble Baptist Association and nationally with the Southern Baptist Convention.

Can We Be Happy without Sex? by M. Earley

Can We Be Happy without Sex?

I’ve been making many of the same points on this blog the last few years.

(Link): Can We Be Happy without Sex? by Mark Earley

  • October 22, 2009
  • Professor Dale Kuehne is a professor of politics at Saint Anselm College in New Hampshire. At least once a semester, Kuehne can count on a certain question always being asked when he teaches a class called “The Politics of Diversity.”
  • “Professor Kuehne,” a student will say, “are you seriously going to try to persuade us that if we forgo [sex] outside of marriage we can have a fulfilling life, even if that means we never have a sexual relationship?”
  • Well, that’s a pretty tough sell these days.
  • Kuehne is the author of a new book, Sex and the iWorld. He says that the traditional world, or tWorld, as he calls it, has been largely supplanted by the iWorld, in which “the immediate desires of the individual have been deemed paramount.” In the iWorld, complete sexual freedom is a given, as long as all parties consent. Sexuality is considered essential to human happiness.
  • This is why iWorlders are scornful of the biblical view that sex should be reserved for marriage between one man and one woman. What about single people? What about gays in a committed relationship? they ask. Are they to be condemned to lifelong misery?

  • Even churches have bought into the iWorld belief that sex is essential to happiness. The idea that one cannot have relational fulfillment without sex “has been a largely unquestioned assumption of evangelical psychology, if not theology, for decades,” Kuehne writes.

  • That’s why many Christians now accept the iWorld teaching that anything that stands in the way of sexual fulfillment must be wrong. God wants us to be fulfilled, they reason; sex is an essential component of relational fulfillment, thus the Bible can’t really mean what it says about restricting sex to marriage.

((click here to read the rest))



(Link):  Blogger Guy Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Apparently Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use As A Resource

(Link): Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals”

(Link):  Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link):  Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link):  No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

Christianity Should Be Able To Work Regardless of Culture, Childed or Marital Status / Article: Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte

Christianity Should Be Able To Work Regardless of Culture, Childed or Marital Status / Article: Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte

Christianity Is Designed to Be True and to Work, Regardless of One’s Culture or Marital Status or Family Structure

Before I address the article about the changing nature of the American family, I’d like to point out that God designed the Christian faith so that it could work in any era, any time period, in any culture, and regardless of a person’s childed or marital status.

American Christians, however, continue to behave as though the Christian faith itself will become moot or bogus unless the predominant culture consists of 1950s era like nuclear families, where every one is married with a baby.

If Christianity can only work if people are married with kids, then Christianity is false.

If the only measure of success you have that Christianity is “working,” I don’t think I’d use marriage and baby making as the only, or primary, yard sticks, as the Bible does not hold up either one as a barometer.

I’d also like to remind any Christian readers that Jesus Christ died for your sins, not to save or defend marriage, parenthood, or the “nuclear family.”

The Changing American Family

I first saw this headline tweeted by Janet Mefferd, Christian radio host. I listen to her program regularly, and I think I have a fairly good handle of her views. I think she probably thinks that the following information is sad or unfortunate. I have a different perspective. Here’s the link:

(Link): Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte

As much as I like Mrs. Mefferd on a personal level, I disagree with her on one or two topics, or emphasis placed upon them.

Continue reading “Christianity Should Be Able To Work Regardless of Culture, Childed or Marital Status / Article: Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte”

The Negative Consequences of Male Privilege by Steven Farough

This is a PDF file, unfortunately.

(Link) The Negative Consequences of Male Privilege by S. Farough


  • In this case, dominant masculinity in the United States embodies the following characteristics.
  • -Men are expected to be physically powerful
  • -Men are obliged to hide their emotions
  • -Men are supposed to excel at competition
  • -Men are to be in control of their lives and the situations they inhabit
  • -Men are expected to earn income to support their families comfortably.
  • -Men are not to act feminine
  • -Men should not be gay
  • What is particular striking about dominant masculinity is that is is defined by what it is not.

Within American Christianity, especially in branches such as Baptist churches and evangelicalism, I’d also expect that “real manhood” is defined as “man who is married to a woman and who has children.”

Though I feel that women are pressured ten times more than men are to marry and pro-create.

Nevertheless, there are some segments of the Christian faith that do define “real manhood” to mean “married with children.”

I would also add that a corollary to this understanding of manhood is sexual activity. Both in and out of the church – that is, even among secular people – only people who are having sex are true adults.

If you are still a virgin past the age of 25 or 30, you are thought odd, stunted, immature, or repressed. Again, this is an attitude I see among Christians too, not just Non Christians, which I would expect. I would expect Non Christians to ridicule or mock virginity, but it crops up among Christians. Many churches and preachers today are over-sexed. They never shut up about sex (or marriage). 

More excerpts:

  • Negative Consequences of Dominant Masculinity
  • Given the above-mentioned advantages of masculinity, some men might ask themselves why on earth they would want to give up such a wide range of advantages. These structural benefits are no doubt seductive to many men. High status jobs, respect and deference from others, disproportionate influence, and accumulating wealth are but a few of the advantages of dominant masculinity and the infrastructure of privilege that supports it. Why give this up?
  • Accompanying these advantages comes a range of negative consequences for men who invest in dominant masculinity. Public health data clearly show some of the noticeable disadvantages. The average life span for men is 71.3 years, but for women it is 78.3 years (Sabo, 2004). 
  • Men are more likely to develop heart disease, have accidents, and be a victim of a violent crime and homicide than women (Sabo, 2004). There are multiple reasons for this, but one key factor is the investment of dominant masculinity. 
  • Men who buy into it must engage in elaborate techniques of withholding their feelings and engage in behavior that puts them at greater physical risk (Sabo, 2004). To be a “man” is to deny physical pain, which can result in a failure to notify doctors of potentially life-threatening ailments. If one desires to be a “real man,” one should be prepared for an early death.
  • Men who withhold their feelings also suffer psychologically. They experience higher rates of depression and suicide than women (Sabo, 2004). They also have emotionally shallow relationships with families and friends.
  • Men that cannot fit into dominant masculinity also suffer. Often denied access to living wages or control over their environment, working-class men, men of color, and gay men often cannot fit fully into dominant masculinity, leaving them subject to critiques of their self-worth.
  • Dominant masculinity works as the underlying rationale for men bullying other men that do not conform to this norm.
  • This results in significant numbers of men marginalized from and and scarred by dominant masculinity, one that is often white, middle class, and straight.
  • Dominant masculinity makes it more difficult to have a variety of legitimate masculinities in our society. 
  • Because dominant masculinity is defined as being superior to femininity (Connell 1995), men that invest in it suffer from being unable to have more egalitarian and emotionally open relationships with women.
  • Dominant masculinity can even undermine meritocracy. Because men receive unearned advantages for being men in the workforce and political life, this makes it more difficult for equally qualified women and people of color to be rewarded for their hard work.

(( click here to read the rest – PDF page ))


Related posts:

 (Link): Why Un-married / Single Christians Should Be Concerned about the Gender Role Controversy (i.e., Male Headship, Female Submission, Should Women Be Allowed to Lead/Teach Men, etc)

(Link): study on Male, Christian Sexual Abstinence Reveals Many Christians Still Clinging to Gendered Sexual Stereotypes

(Link):  Preacher Mark Driscoll’s Hypocrisy About Single Men – and other Driscoll stuff

(Link):  Americans Idolize Fatherhood – Enough with the Pro Fatherhood Editorials or Claiming Anti Father Persecution, says writer

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link): “You’re not a real man until you have children” – childless, childfree women should be able to relate to this too

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link):  Why men are boycotting marriage, fatherhood and the American Dream (article by Matt K. Lewis)

(Link): Why Men Don’t Go To Church

(Link): Christian Patriarchy Group: God Demands You Marry and Have Babies to Defeat Paganism and Satan. Singles and the Childless Worthless (in this worldview).

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says


Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them

Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them

Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says

(Link):  Pastors avoid Biblical positions on today’s issues to keep tithes up

(Link): Barna: Many pastors wary of raising ‘controversy’

(Link): Study: Pastors avoid controversy to keep tithes up

I linked to this same article in my previous post and discussed it from another angle,

This time, I am bringing this story up for another reason.

(Link):  Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says

I’m not surprised. Every time I see the progressive Christians, the ex Christians, and left wing secular feminists complain that Christians over value a woman’s virginity, I want to laugh. I see the total opposite.

Virginity for men and woman is being attacked by Christians, not upheld, defended, respected or esteemed.

(Usually, the entire subject is ignored FOR MEN. Men are not expected to be virgins by anyone on either side of the debate. Men get a pass, even from progressive Christians and secular feminists; ironic.)

Virginity, celibacy, and sexual purity are being written off even by most conservative Christians as being unrealistic, impossible standards for any man or woman to meet, so they have reversed course and say fornication is really not such a big deal.

Further, Christians have sanctioned phrases such as “born again virgin” or “secondary virginity” to console sexual sinners.

With the exception of a tiny minority of far, far out fringe kook groups, like the weirdos who want to see the USA governed by Old Testament laws and penalties, I am not seeing Christians who are demanding that people stay virgins until marriage, speaking out against pre-marital sex, or making sexual purity an idol that they insist Christian girls pursue.

Here are some excerpts from:

(Link):  Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says

  • by Tom Fontaine
  • Aug 24,  2014
  • Few pastors preach about today’s most challenging political and social issues because they worry about losing members of their flocks and the money they donate, according to a researcher who focuses on issues of Christianity.
  • “Controversy keeps people from being in the seats. Controversy keeps people from giving money, from attending programs,” California-based researcher George Barna said this month in an American Family Radio interview.

Continue reading “Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them”