Southern Baptist Women on Porn and Families

Southern Baptist Women on Porn and Families

On the Christian Post is a story with this headline:

“So. Baptist Woman’s Mission Union Works to Eradicate Porn From Families’ Lives”

Here’s an excerpt from the page:

    HOUSTON – The Woman’s Mission Union made a bold proclamation at this past week’s Southern Baptist Convention in Houston, Texas, by announcing the partnership between the WMU, Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission and Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., to eradicate the poison of pornography that is destroying marriages, hurting children, and fracturing the mission of the church.

    “Through this campaign,” she said, “we are calling out a million men to live free of pornography. And challenging one million women to come alongside them and commit to pray for their spouses, their sons and their friends, as we work together to combat this evil that is destroying our families and invading our churches.”

On the plus side, at least with this story we see that some Baptists are admitting that married people get involved in sexual sin.

The assumption by Southern Baptists and other conservative Christians is often that single Christians are the sexual hedonists who are sleeping around all over the place or viewing porn.

On the downside, why all the fixation on families? While not all un-married Christians are sexually active or viewing pornography, some might be. Where are the resources by Southern Baptists to help those singles?

Why don’t Christians do studies and research to see if porn is one of the reasons for unwanted, protracted singleness among Christian women? Are single Christian men getting their sexual needs met via porn, and that is the reason they are not seeking out single Christian ladies for dating and marriage?

But no, Christians typically don’t consider how anything impacts singles – they remain obsessed with how anything in spiritual or secular culture may impact “families” or “marriages.”

I also notice in the article that the Christians interviewed assume that only men view porn, even though other news sources have said that porn use among Christian women is on the rise. Christians continue to want to live in this world o’ denial where they think only men want sex and only men are “visually stimulated.”

Related posts, this blog:

Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

When The Female Libido and Female Gaze Is Acknowledged in Religion – and the Shirtless Boston Terrorist

Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex / (also discussed): Gender and Sex Stereotypes (article)

Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

Conflicting Message to Christian Women by Christians About Physical Appearance

Gender Complementarian Product for Females: Don’t Base Your Value on Your Looks, but Wait, Yes, You Should

The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

(Link): Idolizing the Family by Gary L. Almy

by Gary L. Almy

God created the family for His purposes and for our good. I am now in my thirtieth year of marriage to one wife; I will be forever grateful to my parents; they gave me the first birth, without which the second is certainly not possible; they cared for me; they fed, clothed, and educated me. Moreover, the Lord commands that I honor them. I am thankful to God for making me the father of five children and for what He taught me through that experience. Yes, God created the family, but as with any good thing created by God, it can become an idol.

I contend here that the Christian church in America today has made an idol of the family. Idolatry can be defined as the act of making a created thing an object of worship. It is no light matter to place any creature in the place of the Creator. Idolatry always takes the gifts of God and attempts to use them specifically to achieve what we want, i.e., to use them for our own comfort and/or power. Take the word “idol” and look up the verses listed under it in your concordance; this will show you how very seriously God views the matter of idolatry. It is not as though we have not been warned. We have and the warnings are heavy. Why is it such an important issue to our Creator-Redeemer? God simply says in Exodus 20:5, “for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God.”

Lest you doubt that something as lovely as family could ever be used by godless men for selfish purposes, consider the following from the bulletin insert entitled “The Church Around the World,” June 1999:

“James Dobson’s radio commentaries on the family are broadcast in China. Ai Jai is sanctioned by China’s Bureau of Radio and Television. Dobson, or Dr. Du as he is known in Chinese, is heard on more than four hundred facilities. The stations make up China National Radio, the government network. The government has asked Focus on the Family for permission to run the printed form regularly in the Beijing daily newspaper.”

The same Communist government tortures, imprisons, and places in slave labor those who bear real witness to Christ. In fact, this same bulletin has the following news:

“Hong Kong Christians are being pressured to stop ministering in mainland China. A magazine in Hong Kong that published articles detailing persecution of unregistered churches was closed, and leaders of a large evangelical church in Hong Kong were refused entry into the mainland recently. Three other Hong Kong churches said that mainland officials asked them to stop working in China” (“The Church Around the World,” July, 1999).

Is this government going to sponsor any genuine Christian message, any offense of the cross? Focusing on the family comes from the world, and the world loves it–as does the godless government of Communist China. The world loves the idea of the family, but hates the real Christian message. Don’t forget that fertility rites and worship of ancestors permeate paganism. Such things should have no part in real Christianity.

All of Scripture agrees with David in Psalm 119:112 in saying, “I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end.” Nowhere are we told in God’s revealed Word to focus on the family.

In fact, there has been no highway quite as broad anywhere for the Freudian heresy as the road that opens when the church makes marriage and family the focus and reason for existence, both for the individual and for the church itself. Look at church bulletins, letterheads, and general outreach if you think I am extreme in accusing the modern church of doing this.

Continue reading “The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)”

Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

I am a social conservative, and I don’t support homosexuality. I probably wouldn’t be too opinionated about homosexual marriage either way if not for the homosexuals who are absolutely militant about their lifestyles and try to sue the crud out of anyone who doesn’t agree with it, or bakers who, due to religious reasons, (Link): don’t want to provide cakes for homosexual marriage ceremonies.

I also realize that militant homosexual groups are very vocal and active in trying to cram their views down the throats of all Americans, which annoys me to no end. I don’t particularly care if people are homosexual, as long as they’d get off their soap boxes about it and stop forcing the matter.

However, many conservative Christians, and certainly the Southern Baptist Convention and series of churches, remains abnormally fixated on all things homosexual (and on other aspects of secular culture), as well as too keen to try to push Christian agendas via politics.

At the recent SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) held in Houston, Texas, here is one consensus they reached:

(Link): Southern Baptists condemn Boy Scouts over admission of gays

Excerpt (by the way, this article incorrectly refers to Southern Baptists as “Protestants”. Southern Baptists are not Protestants):

    The nation’s largest Protestant denomination stopped short of calling for its member churches to boycott the Boy Scouts, but voiced strong opposition to acceptance of gay scouts – with a top church leader predicting at the annual gathering of Southern Baptists that a “mass exodus” of youths from the program that has been a rite of passage for more than a century.

Instead of being preoccupied by those outside the church, Christians are supposed to help fellow Christians first and foremost ((Link): Galatians 6:10), and primarily judge those who are within the body of Christ, not obsessively focus on judging Non Christians in secular culture:

    What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? (1 Cor 5:12)

Southern Baptists and a lot of other Christians claim they are concerned about the inroads homosexuals are making in culture, not just with the BSA (Boy Scouts), but concerning the erosion of “traditional marriage.”

The deterioration of traditional marriage by homosexuals does not really matter all that much, when there is currently a sizable section of Americans, particularly unmarried Christian hetero-sexual women, who desire marriage, but there are no marriage partners (single Christian men of comparable age) for them to marry.

Continue reading “Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities”

The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination

The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination

As I was just remarking in the comments of the previous post to someone else:

    [About the SBC’s stance on men viewing pornography and what they consider success in conquering this issue.] That’s only the half of it. There have been a ton of articles the past two weeks about how membership in Southern Baptist Churches has dropped.

    There is also in-fighting, in that the Neo Calvinists (aka YRRs) are trying to take over the SBC.

    SBC guy Al Mohler continues to stand by SGM leader CJM who allegedly covered up child sexual abuse for over ten years in SGM churches.

    I’m thinking maybe I should do a new post about this. Hmm. I was brought up in the SBC, btw.

As long as the SBC continues to…

  • ignore child sexual abuse and turn a blind eye to it; as long as the SBC continues to
  • obsess over politics and the culture wars (battling homosexual marriage etc),
  • as long as they keep allowing Al Mohler and other Calvinists sneak young, hyper Neo Calvinists into churches that don’t want to be Calvinist, and as long as
  • they keep insisting on a sexist (gender complementarian) view of women, and as long as Southern Baptists continue
  • to focus mainly or only on the traditional, nuclear family and traditional marriage and overlook the never married or divorced or widowed adults past the age of 30;

they will keep on losing members.
Continue reading “The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination”

Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn

Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, Married Preachers and Sexual Abuse, More Examples – and Women and Porn

Many married Christians like to assume that married Christian couples are not engaging in sexual sin, that sexual sin is something that only impacts un-married Christians. I’ve blogged about these stereotypes before.

It is also assumed by conservative Christians, and this seems even more so of the males, that women (including Christian women), are not “visually oriented,” are not visually stimulated, do not view porn, and have little to no sex drive. These are other topics I’ve blogged about on a recurring basis as well.

Here are some more examples. The first is a link to a page that – and this is virtually unheard of – a Christian author and speaker who acknowledges that married Christian men are addicted to pornography, he holds the men (not their wives) accountable for their porn viewing, and also (but sadly only briefly) mentions that some Christian women view and enjoy pornography.

(Link 1): Southern Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting


Excerpts from Link 1,
“So. Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting”

    By Melissa Barnhart , CP Reporter
    June 7, 2013|1:24 pm

    To combat the bondage and destruction of pornography that has seeped into millions of American households Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., created his own program, “One Million Men Porn Free.” He is hopeful that more pastors will fearlessly address the issue after they learn more about it at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting in Houston next week.

    … He’s [Dennis has] also completed two new books to help Christians deal with pornography, one for men and one for women. The women’s book will address 50 things Christian women need to know about pornography, and will teach them how to deal with their own struggles with porn.

    … In an interview with the CP earlier this year, Dennis emphasized that women should never feel at fault or responsible for their spouse or boyfriend’s addiction to pornography because of something they did or didn’t do.

    “They should not accept responsibility for his choice,” he said. “Yes, there are triggers and issues in men’s lives that help to create the atmosphere for them to be tempted; however, it’s still his responsibility to live a holy life. No wife or girlfriend should tolerate continued pornography use in her man’s life. There should be strong boundaries and consequences enforced. She should demand accountability on his part. She should be his strongest prayer warrior, but not become his accountability partner.”

    Continue reading “Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn”

If your sermon or program supposedly benefits everyone… (post about Christian singlehood)

I was looking for more material about Christian singleness when I found this video:

“How Does Our Church Host a 607 Experience Without alienating Singles, Grandparents, or those without Children?”
(The URL is: )

Edit. Aug 2014. That URL no longer works, they removed the video. You can still view it here: Video Link, Vimeo

I have no idea what the “607 Experience” is, as I did not watch every single video on the page, but from the one I watched, I gather it is yet some other family-centric event for churches to host for nuclear families (nuclear family = typical 1950s American family consisting of husband, wife, one or two kids).

The male host of the video says he recognizes that some Christians may be worried that his “607 Experience” may make singles or MWKS (married couples without kids / children) feel alienated…

But, he feels this program will still be beneficial to singles and MWKS, since it covers topics like how to pray effectively, or some such.

He’s not the first Christian I’ve seen use this tactic. I’ve seen other Christians or pastors say, “Well, my sermon series on marriage may make the never-married and divorced feel alienated, but you should not feel that way you unmarried people, because you can still find information in this series for use in your life!”

Is that so? Well then, what is the point in billing such series or sermons as “for the family,” or putting “marriage” or “parenting” in the titles of these events? If the material can be applicable to all (such as offering suggestions on how to pray better or some other generic, Christian topic) why not title the event, “How to have a better prayer life”?

My second question and concern is, what does this church or Christian group do for singles specifically? In other words, is there a “608 Experience” that is geared only towards the NMNKs (never- married with no kids), where this same man from the “607” video would tell married with kid couples, “But please, don’t feel alienated you married people! Even though you are married with kids, our service for singles can still be of benefit to you!” If this church (or group) is not devoting equal time to singles, then their “607 Experience” is wrong, wrong, wrong, and yes, it will alienate the unmarried and other individuals who don’t meet the “married with kids” demographic.

Forget married couples with kids – the real danger today is for the unmarried Christian. Screw the Christian married couples; it’s singles who need the church’s help and attention. Even secular society discriminates or ignores singles.

The male host of the video said he simply suggests pastors who host a 607 to “just put the elephant in the room right out there.” Just be up front and tell your never-married and divorced or Married- with- no- kids couples that the service will be devoted to marrieds with kids, he advises.

Wouldn’t that be a little like a white Christian host saying on a video for pastors,
“Our series will only focus on how great white people are, and teach people more about white people,” and then telling the pastor,
“But see, that’s okay, because you’re being up-front with, and transparent about, your prejudice.

Therefore, I’m sure any Black, Hispanic, and Asian Christians in your church will be fine and dandy with being so blatantly excluded YET AGAIN. I mean, surely they must agree that white Christian people are under attack by secular society, so I’m sure they’ll be okay and so very understanding with the needs and problems of Asian, Black, and Hispanic Christians being shoved aside, YET AGAIN.”

I swear to goodness the American church is almost completely oblivious to how badly they are excluding people (specifically, never- married people over 35 years old, the divorced, people with no kids, and the elderly) and giving Christianity a black eye to so many people, with the continual insistence upon the self-serving fixation on “marriage and parenting, marriage and parenting, marriage and parenting” mantra.
Related posts this blog:

(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line

Topics Preachers Should or Shouldn’t Mention When Discussing Singlehood

Here are a few suggestions as to what I think Christian pastors and Christian talk show hosts should (or should not) preach or discuss when addressing Christian singlehood.*

Sex, Sex, Sex and More Sex

I think sex is one topic that Christian pastors need to stay away from when talking to or about singlehood, or they need to stop lecturing about it as often as they do.

Anytime pastors or Christian personalities (such as people who host Christian television shows) do bother to address singles (usually they’re fixated on married life, unfortunately), it’s usually nothing more than to issue dire warnings about not giving in to sexual sin.

Continue reading “Topics Preachers Should or Shouldn’t Mention When Discussing Singlehood”