Anal Sex Ruined This Woman’s Relationship
I first read this editorial a few weeks ago; I think I first saw it on Salon. There are copies of it on Alert Net and other sites.
I don’t remember everything in it in detail. I don’t want to re-read it, either. Parts of it were rather graphic and disgusting.
You can visit the page and read it yourself if you so choose:
(Link): How Anal Sex Ruined My Relationship (on Alert Net – same editorial is on (Link): Salon)
- By Marilyn Freedman
- The evening was so perfect I thought he might propose. But he had a very different proposition in mind.
This woman (who I believe is in her twenties) didn’t really seem enthusiastic about having anal sex.
Based on what I recall from reading it a few weeks ago, she really only went along with having anal sex because she thought her boyfriend was “Mr. Right,” (she was very keen on wanting to get married soon), and she was afraid if she did not cave in and allow him to perform this particular sex act on her, he may dump her.
So, the aspect of this I wanted to address was her being so desperate for marriage that she allowed herself to be used in a sexual manner she was not comfortable with.
I am stunned that we are in the year 2015, and women are still so codependent, and still so afraid to be single and live alone, that they will allow themselves to participate in conduct they consider physically painful or shameful, and all to hold on to a boyfriend.
The woman said that in spite of her having anal sex with the guy, they ended up breaking up anyway, and she sat around heartbroken for weeks afterwards. She also seemed to find the entire sexual experience (in particular anal sex) deeply humiliating.
I have read of women, and I have known some women personally, who say that anal sex is physically painful.
All I can say is if you are a woman, never ever lower your boundaries for anyone for any reason, and certainly not in the area of sex, and certainly not out of fear that if you don’t put out or engage in a certain sex act, your boyfriend may dump you.
You are better off refusing to do sexual acts you don’t want to do, and if your man chooses to break up with you over your refusal, you are better off without that loser.
Being single or staying single is not the worst thing in the world. There are worse things than being single.
You should not be so desperate to snag a spouse that you will bend your rules or ethics or debase yourself to get or keep a boyfriend or to get a marriage proposal.
And look: even though the woman who wrote the editorial caved in and performed a sex act she did not want to do, her boyfriend dumped her ANYWAY. She went through a humiliating sexual act all for nothing. You are better off sticking to your guns than caving in to your boyfriend on things like this.
(Link): Teen Vogue Magazine Promoting Anal Sex (2017)