Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch
…. Despite lingering doubts, she ended up in a marriage by her mid-20s — with a husband whose enthusiasm was not, in fact, all it had seemed to be. It waned over time.
He did not defend her in front of his family members, they fought constantly, he did not consider her feelings. By her late 20s, she was divorced, with a whole slew of different (and correct) thoughts about “how things should be” the next time around.
Addison isn’t alone in her previous beliefs about dating and relationships. Somewhere along the way, women were told, “You deserve to be pursued!” and, yeah, we just went with it.
Through my research (and even among friends), I’ve met plenty of women who’ve literally gone their entire lives letting men sort themselves by early, most-evident interest.
Their “single girl” dating ritual is simple: Strongest pursuer wins. (Side note: This is a heteronormative exploration of dating rituals and for that reason a heteronormative article on said rituals.)
With a (Link): culture of ghosting, bread-crumbing, zombie-ing, and just flat-out constant shuffling, I get that things seem inherently fragile out there, and lots of people want to insulate against rejection.