Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

About me and this blog:

If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.

I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link): this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.

I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.

Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.

My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)

I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.

— end introduction to me and this blog —

I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:

(Link): Advice for Incels by Kevin D. Williamson

On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.

However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.

I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books  (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and  “Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.

Continue reading “Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson”

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Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex

Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex

Let us once more, for the millionth time on this blog, point out what Christian – and sometimes secular – conservatives get wrong (I am speaking here as a conservative myself, one who at times disagrees with other conservatives), in lieu of news stories like the one I am copying below:

-Marriage does not make people more godly, responsible, mature, or ethical

-God does not require a single adult who desires marriage to become pure, holy, godly, or perfect before he sends them a spouse

-The Christian “Equally Yoked” rule is unnecessary and too limiting for Christian women who’d like to marry, since there are not enough Christian single men for Christian single women to marry.
Furthermore, many Christian men turn out to be adulterers, pedophiles, wife abusers, and god only knows what else they are guilty of (see (Link): this list for examples), so that Christian single women are better off selecting a man to marry based on his actions and character, rather than his stated religious beliefs.

(Link): Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex

Les Hughey, the founder of Highlands Church in Scottsdale, Arizona, has been placed on leave as the megachurch investigates accusations recently made by four women who say that he took sexual advantage of them when they were teenagers.

Hughey responded to the accusations, published in The Modesto Bee, on Saturday by admitting that inappropriate relationships did take place in the past, but insisted that they were of a consensual nature.

Continue reading “Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex”

Pastor Greg Laurie’s Promotion of Equally Yoked Rule in Regards to Marriage Plays Role in Why So Many Christian Women Remain Single Over a Life Time

Pastor Greg Laurie’s Promotion of Equally Yoked Rule in Regards to Marriage Plays Role in Why So Many Christian Women Remain Single Over a Life Time

I’ve done more than one post on this blog high-lighting and explaining how and why the Christian insistence on the “equally yoked” rule in regards to marriage leaves many marriage-minded Christian single women single over a life time.

If you are a Christian single woman who wants to marry,  take it from me, who was once a very committed Christian who was “relying on the Lord” for a husband (and yes, I even tried dating sites at one time), you have to take marriage where you can find it, even if that means marrying a Non-Christian.

There are simply not as many single Christian men as there are women, and the Christian single men who exist may (Link): not be marriage material, to under-state things.

You really have to look at a man’s character, not what religious label he slaps on to himself. An atheist man, or a Jewish man, or a guy who practices Wicca, or what have you, may treat you better than a guy who says he’s a Christian and who also attends church regularly.

(Link): Greg Laurie Tells Christian Woman in Long-Term Relationship With Nonbeliever: ‘Break Up With Him!’

April 2018

Pastor Greg Laurie of Harvest Christian Fellowship in California recently advised a Christian woman who’s in a long-term relationship with a nonbeliever that she should break up with him.

Continue reading “Pastor Greg Laurie’s Promotion of Equally Yoked Rule in Regards to Marriage Plays Role in Why So Many Christian Women Remain Single Over a Life Time”

Abusers Hide In Churches – Equally Yoked Does Not Help Single Christian Women Who’d Like to Marry

Abusers Hide In Churches – Equally Yoked Does Not Help Single Christian Women Who’d Like to Marry

The “equally yoked” rule really makes no sense for single adult Christians, especially Christian women who’d like to marry, since (Link): so many self professing Christian men – even ones who read their Bibles daily or attend church weekly or work as pastors – are sexual deviants, wife abusers, or adulterers.

My parents taught me to seek out good mate material at local churches, because they felt the quality of people would be better at a church, as opposed to going to a bar to get dates with men.

However, I’ve seen far too many news stories of self professed Christian men who beat their wives, molest kids, or have been arrested for soliciting sex with animals, to think that Christian men are any more quality or safer than Non-Christian men. I also fail to see how churches are any safer to meet dates than a bar.

The whole post by Deborah Brunt is very good, but I only wanted to quote from part of it in my post:

(Link): Be wary of churches breaking the silence by Deborah Brunt

Excerpts:

[How churches and typical Christian preachers deal with sexual abuse in their churches]

Pastor-Man offers simple solutions for sexual abuse.

He calls men to be pure. He makes no distinction between the temptation to sexual sin, which both genders face, and the lifestyle of strong deception, sexual domination and violence that male abusers deliberately adopt.

Continue reading “Abusers Hide In Churches – Equally Yoked Does Not Help Single Christian Women Who’d Like to Marry”

After Threatening Suicide, Pastor Ronnie Gorton (Married to a Woman and a Father) Indicted on 47 Charges of Sexually Assaulting Boys

After Threatening Suicide, Pastor Ronnie Gorton (Married to a Woman and a Father) Indicted on 47 Charges of Sexually Assaulting Boys – Ditch the Equally Yoked Teaching, Christian Single Women!

I believe the article, which is linked to much farther below in this post, says that this child- raping pastor is married to a woman, and he and the woman have two or three of their own children.

Once more, contrary to what many to most conservative Christians and conservative think tanks teach, marriage does not make people more godly, loving, or mature. Being married to a woman did not stop this guy in this article from sexually assaulting boys.

Once more, the “equally yoked” teaching as applied to dating and marriage is detrimental and irrelevant: if you are a single Christian woman, you need to get past this mindset of “I can only date or marry another Christian” because many Christian men will abuse you, or they turn out to be perverts.

Continue reading “After Threatening Suicide, Pastor Ronnie Gorton (Married to a Woman and a Father) Indicted on 47 Charges of Sexually Assaulting Boys”

Disgusting, Creepy, Married Pervert Youth Pastor Exulted When Girl He was Bedding Turned 18 and ‘Legal’: Cops – Another Example of Why Equally Yoked Teaching is a Waste of Time

Disgusting, Creepy, Married Pervert Youth Pastor Exulted When Girl He was Bedding Turned 18 and ‘Legal’: Cops – Another Example of Why Equally Yoked Teaching is a Waste of Time

This guy was married and raping teen aged girls he met by way of his youth pastor job at a church.

First of all, contrary to what many conservative Christian leaders (such as Al Mohler) teach, marriage does not make anyone more godly, loving, ethical. You either have character and morals, or you do not.

Wearing a gold band on one’s finger, standing in front of a judge or preacher and reciting wedding vows, does not magically instill good character into a person.

Secondly, “equally yoked” is a heap of nonsense. So many perverts masquerade as Christians, or claim to be Christian, I honestly feel if you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, you’re better off ditching the Equally Yoked rule.

I’d rather be married to, say, an Atheist Non-Raping man than a church-going, self professing Christian Rapist.

And to think my parents told me often when I was a kid that if I wanted to be married to seek a spouse at a church! BAH HA HA HA HAAA, I don’t think so.

In the several years I’ve been running this blog, I’ve seen (Link): far too many of these news stories of Christian men (some who even work as preachers!) who are arrested for rape or child molesting to be able to convince me that “equally yoked” is a wise, good, “biblical” or advantageous philosophy for single women.

(Link):  Youth pastor exulted when girl he was bedding turned 18 and ‘legal’: cops

Excerpts:

by J. Miller, March 2018

A youth pastor in Colorado had a sexual relationship with a high school senior — and gave the teen a card on her 18th birthday that read, “We’re legal,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Joshua Clemons, a former pastor at Cross Roads Community Church in Parker, was arrested Tuesday by Denver police on suspicion of sexual assault on a child by a person in a position of trust. He also faces two of the same counts in Douglas County, police in Parker (Link): told the Denver Post.

Continue reading “Disgusting, Creepy, Married Pervert Youth Pastor Exulted When Girl He was Bedding Turned 18 and ‘Legal’: Cops – Another Example of Why Equally Yoked Teaching is a Waste of Time”

Tim Challies Needs to Shut His Pie Hole about Many Things, but Especially About Dating, Marriage, Singleness, and Now, Equally Yoked

Tim Challies Needs to Shut His Pie Hole about Many Things, but Especially About Dating, Marriage, Singleness, and Now, Equally Yoked

Tim Challies is the doofus Christian blogger, speaker, and book author who has actually said garbage in the past such as “even fornicators are virgins now” (yeah, (Link): he really said that).

Also bear in mind:

(Link): Tim Challies, Who Is Fine With Single Adults Fornicating, Is Not Okay With Fake Sex on TV, As Portrayed by Married Actors

(Link):  Christians (such as Tim Challies and his wife) Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

Furthermore, Challies is so vested in his belief of “Christian gender complementarianism,” he doesn’t care that its “male headship” doctrine leads to domestic violence against women and often leads to pressuring women to staying in abusive marriages; you can read more about that here:

(Link, to “Internet Monk” site): Stuck With Their Noses In the Text

Challies is more interested in women obeying the “male headship” and female subordination articles of faith that comprise gender complementarianism than he is in the safety and well-being of women.

As such, if you are a single woman, do you REALLY want to take any sort of relationship advice from this kind of person who does not value YOU as a person?

I would hope not.

See this:

(Link):  Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

Here is the link to the Tim Challies “Equally Yoked” article on Christian Post site (with more remarks by me below the excerpts):

(Link): Tim Challies Warns Christians the ‘Bible Is Very Clear’ Not to Marry Unbelievers

Here are excerpts from that page:

“The Bible makes it very, very clear that a Christian can only marry another Christian. You may not marry somebody who is an unbeliever. You should not marry somebody for whom you’re not certain whether they’re a believer or not. So absolutely, the first thing is, is this person a believer in Jesus Christ? Do we share faith?” Challies advised Thursday in part two of his message on Christian dating.

Continue reading “Tim Challies Needs to Shut His Pie Hole about Many Things, but Especially About Dating, Marriage, Singleness, and Now, Equally Yoked”

Pastor, Christian College Prof. Allegedly Told Congregant Sex With Him Would Heal Her From Sexual Abuse

Pastor, Christian College Prof. Allegedly Told Congregant Sex With Him Would Heal Her From Sexual Abuse

There’s no point to Equally Yoked for single Christian women when male Christian perverts such as this one exist.

Secondly, Christians should stop telling singles in their dating advice books, sermons, and blogs that God won’t send them a spouse until they do X (with X = become more mature, become more spiritual, become more godly).

Next, Christians and conservative think tanks need to drop the rhetoric that marriage makes people more godly or is required to make people more sexually ethical or mature. Marriage sure did not make this Christian man and pastor more godly.

And to think my parents often lectured me that church would be the ideal place to meet a clean cut, stand up, genuinely nice guy for a single Christian woman. In light of the many stories I’ve seen like this in years past, I’d say no to that.

I also wonder why so many Christians continue to uphold the unbiblical and ridiculous doctrine of male headship, when so many Christian men clearly are unsuited to be entrusted with leadership positions.

This guy is an absolute pervert, a sexual predator, and should be taken out into the woods and shot in the face by law enforcement. There should be a special place in hell for men who target girls and women who confide in them that they were once sexually victimized.

(Link): Pastor, Christian College Prof. Allegedly Told Congregant Sex With Him Would Heal Her From Sexual Abuse

By L. Blair, Feb 2018

John Wright, a highly rated theology professor at Point Loma Nazarene University and pastor of the English Congregation at the Mid City Church of the Nazarene in San Diego, California, has been accused of rape and sexual harassment by a young woman who says he convinced her to have sex with him so she could be healed of past sexual abuse.

The unidentified woman, referred to as A.M., explains in a lawsuit (Link): cited by the San Diego Reader that she met Wright in 2014 when she was 20.

His wife, Kathy, who he has been married to for almost 40 years, is also a pastor at Mid City Church of the Nazarene.

The woman alleges in the lawsuit that soon after meeting Wright she confided in him that she had been sexually abused for a number of years by a close family member and felt she was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. She said the pastor offered to counsel her.

Continue reading “Pastor, Christian College Prof. Allegedly Told Congregant Sex With Him Would Heal Her From Sexual Abuse”

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Here we go yet again. Conservatives, both Christian and secular, believe and promote untruths and falsehoods that marriage will make people more mature and empathetic and that marriage is so much better for society than people remaining single.

I have been a conservative going back to my teen years, and I heard all the pro-Family Values rhetoric all the time, rhetoric which generally includes bashing singleness or insulting single adults for being single.

Frequently, conservatives will blame liberals or feminism for “ruining” society and they will prescribe marriage and having children as “the cure”, but I sure as heck do not see traditional values, church, Christianity, The Nuclear Family, Family Values, or marriage or parenthood making society any better.

Married people are not more sexually pure than single adults. Many times, conservatives incorrectly assume that being married will cause a decrease in a person sexually sinning, and that all to most single adults are “horn dogs” who lack sexual self control.

Christians will sometimes teach that if you are a single adult who’d like to marry that you, the single, must meet some kind of spiritual standard or else God will not allow you to marry, that God will not “reward you with” a spouse.

Christians will teach singles that it is sinful to marry outside the Christian faith. They often based this on a verse or two that mentions being equally yoked, and the assumption seems to be that a Christian who marries a Non-Christian will “veer off course” and become a non-believer too or live a life of sin.

Here we have a news story of two Christians married to each other, one worked as a church pastor no less, but they are both a couple of perverts.

Being married did not keep this couple from sexually sinning. Being married did not make this couple more mature, responsible, godly, and God apparently did not mind rewarding both of these deviants with a spouse, because he permitted them to marry each other.

Lastly, I would rather marry an atheist who is not a pervert than be “equally yoked” to a self professing Christian man like the pastor in this story who sexually preyed on women congregants.

(Link): California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Jan 19, 2018

by Travis Gettys

A former parishioner sued a California church and its former pastors — who she accused of sexual assault, battery and harassment.

The woman, a mother of two in her 30s, sued former Church for Life pastors Robert Litzinger and Cindy Litzinger seeking compensatory and punitive damages, reported the (Link): Santa Maria Times.

Continue reading “California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit”

Youth Pastor Who Allegedly Sexually Abused Teen Girl From His Church Within Days Taught True Love Sexual Purity Class and Later Wrote a Book About Marriage and His Church Gave Him A Standing Ovation For Being a Sexual Abuser

Youth Pastor Who Allegedly Sexually Abused Teen Girl From His Church Within Days Taught True Love Sexual Purity Class and Later Wrote a Book About Marriage and His Church Gave Him A Standing Ovation For Being a Sexual Abuser

On top of all that, the church (or another one – I’m too lazy to re-read his work history, but do know that at least one church) found out about the abuse but later (re)hired the same guy, Andy Savage, to work for them anyway.

This deviant – that would be Savage – also has groupies who go about online (these are people at his church, or friends of his, or young ladies who used to be in his youth group), posting negative to hateful responses to any news coverage or blogs that have exposed him.

I wrote a post about such horrid and misled people a few years ago:

(Link):  Your Preacher Sucks – and People Have a Right To Say So And Explain Why 

It’s creepy, pathetic, and alarming to see so many people so mindlessly devoted to some pervert, all because he went to their church and has the title of “preacher.”

Your preacher is no more godly than a plumber, accountant, or hair dresser. There is nothing special about the job of pastor.

Savage’s church was (Link): censoring their Facebook group page, so that anyone commenting on this scandal had their comment deleted.

Summary of the Story

Savage was in his early or mid-20s at the time and was in a pastoral position (he was the teen girl’s youth pastor. This sort of thing is illegal in the state of Texas where this occurred (it’s considered clergy sex abuse), regardless if the sexual acts were consensual or not.)

However, I believe the laws were not in effect at the time of the abuse by Savage of the teenager (statue of limitations apply).

This page probably discusses more of the legal aspects:

(Link): Pastor Andy Savage Will Not Face Charges In 1998 Sexual Assault Case

Initially, the two preachers at the church, whom the teen girl informed of the ordeal, covered up for Savage.

Savage, according to reports, groomed the teen girl over a period of weeks or months, a girl who was around 17 at the time (late 1990s), and it culminated with him promising to drive her home from church one night, only for him to take a detour down a deserted road where he manipulated her into performing oral sex on him, and he molested her.

Continue reading “Youth Pastor Who Allegedly Sexually Abused Teen Girl From His Church Within Days Taught True Love Sexual Purity Class and Later Wrote a Book About Marriage and His Church Gave Him A Standing Ovation For Being a Sexual Abuser”

Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison

Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison

Observe how conservative Christian propaganda about marriage v. singleness is not true: marriage does not make people more godly, mature, or responsible. Single adults are not all out there engaging in sex trafficking or obstructing justice.

Just look, look at what marriage produces: adults who sell people as sex slaves and then lie to the police about it.

And don’t count on dating or marrying Christian men only – a lot of them are into things like having sex with (raping) teen kids and selling them into sex trafficking. You’d be better off dating nice atheist, Hindu, or Jewish boys who would never even think about raping kids or selling them into sex rings.

(Link): Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison by Leonard Blair

Excerpts:

Weeks after she was fired from her job as administrator in Lucas County, Ohio, former “first lady” of Abundant Life Ministries in Toledo Laura Lloyd-Jenkins has now joined her husband, the Rev. Cordell Jenkins, behind bars for allegedly obstructing a sex trafficking investigation against him.

An ABC 13 report said Lloyd-Jenkins could now face a maximum prison sentence of up to 28 years if she is found guilty of one count of obstructing a sex trafficking investigation along with one count of making a false statement.

…She pled not guilty to the charges against her when she appeared in court last Friday but was remanded in custody by Judge Jack Zouhary. Authorities allege that Lloyd-Jenkins, 43, notified a defendant of the pending investigation in March, then made false statements to law enforcement about her knowledge of the conduct alleged in the April indictment.

The former administrator and her husband were once partners in faith at Abundant Life Ministries until April 7 when Rev. Jenkins, 46, and Rev. Anthony Haynes, 38, were arrested by the FBI for sex trafficking of children.

Continue reading “Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison”

The Creepy, Sad, and Weird Love Life of Actor Tom Cruise

The Creepy, Sad, and Weird Love Life of Actor Tom Cruise

If you’re a singleton who sometimes reads my blog, and you’re fed up with being single (because you’d like to marry but haven’t been able to find the right person), this 2012 article from Vanity Fair might cheer you up.

Rest assured that your love life (or life as a single) cannot possibly be AS BAD or bizarre as Cruise’s.

There is a link way down the page to a Vanity Fair magazine article about how Tom Cruise’s church “auditions” women to be his girlfriends or wives.

Before I get a bunch of haters and get to the VF link: I don’t hate Tom Cruise, though he does come across as sounding like a weirdo, insensitive, and just as, or almost, self-absorbed as my ex fiance, in the Vanity Fair article I’m featuring farther below.

I don’t even know as I care so much that he’s into Scientology.

I only remark on Scientology in so far as it reminds me of the Protestant, Baptist, sort of evangelical Christianity I was raised in, in regards to the stupid and confining views on dating and marriage.

I read this Vanity Fair article about Cruise the other day, and it relates to a few of the subjects I blog about on here at times.

Continue reading “The Creepy, Sad, and Weird Love Life of Actor Tom Cruise”

Ex Preacher Bob Coy Accused of Molesting Toddler And Abuse Lasted Until Kid Was A Teen

Ex Preacher Bob Coy Accused of Molesting Toddler And Abuse Lasted Until Kid Was A Teen

I used to watch Coy’s show, when he had a weekly show on TBN around 12, 13 years ago. He seemed nice enough on the show. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched his show. I cannot remember if he was one of those preachers who harped on “Family Values” or not.

I didn’t realize he was cheating pond scum or a pervert in  real life. I did one blog post about him before.

News stories like this make the Christian “equally yoked” teaching so pointless. Marry anyone who has decent character and treats you well, pretty much regardless of what they say their religious beliefs are. Being a Jesus- worshipping church pastor sure didn’t make this Coy person a quality catch.

(Link): Megachurch Founder Accused of Molesting 4-Year-Old

(Link): Conservative megachurch founder Bob Coy accused of molesting 4-year-old

(Link): Founder of Florida’s Biggest Megachurch Accused of Molesting a 4-Year-Old

Excerpts:

by Tom Elfrink

Nov 14, 2017

The call came from California. A woman told Coral Springs Police she had recently learned something terrible: A South Florida man had molested her daughter for years. It began when the girl was just 4 years old.

An officer noted the information and called the victim, who was then a teenager. She confirmed the story in stomach-churning detail.

The man had forced her to perform oral sex, she said. He would regularly “finger and fondle her” genitals, make her touch his penis, and “dirty talk” to her. The abuse lasted until she was a teenager, she told the cop. She’d never even told her family about the crimes.

By the end of that harrowing call on August 20, 2015, police knew the accused predator was no ordinary suspect. His name was Bob Coy, and until the previous year, he’d been the most famous Evangelical pastor in Florida.

Continue reading “Ex Preacher Bob Coy Accused of Molesting Toddler And Abuse Lasted Until Kid Was A Teen”

Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

A lot of Christian defense for marriage I’ve heard and seen over my life time consists of this notion that marriage (and parenthood) are necessary to make a person more mature, godly, responsible, and loving.

Adult singleness is assumed to be, or taught by, many social conservatives and Christians to be a  horrible suspended state of immaturity.

I’ve yet to see any of the Christians and conservatives who espouse these views  about singleness and marriage (such as Bradford Wilcox or Al Mohler) explain all these examples I have on my blog (like the one below) of married people and/or parents who engage in immoral acts.

Also note how irrelevant the Christian “Equally Yoked” rule becomes – all these supposed Christian men turn out to be child molesters and rapists.

(Link): Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

A fifth grade teacher and father of two who was recently fired from the Sioux Center Christian School in Iowa has been charged with 140 counts of sexual abuse involving multiple children, all under the age of 14.

The teacher, Curtis Van Dam, 35, was arrested last Wednesday, according to a KSFY report. His crimes allegedly occurred between 2013 and last month when he was exposed. Now, the entire Sioux Center community is reeling in shock.

(Link): Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

A quick glance at Curtis Van Dam’s Facebook page shows pictures of what appears to be a loving father of two—a family man who works hard teaching elementary school children at Sioux Center Christian School in Iowa.

A “God-fearing” man who now stands accused of raping or sexually assaulting multiple children dating back as far as 2013.

Continue reading “Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse”

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

I believe that the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is stupid and acts as a hindrance to Christian single women who’d like to marry.

Also, (Link):  a lot of self professing Christian men are abusive or pigs, so if you’re a Christian woman, you should marry a guy on the basis of how he treats you – not if he claims to believe in Jesus or not.

By the way, I am a little confused by the heading which says that the letter write is an atheist – in her letter, she seems to say that she does believe in God but is not “as religious” as her boyfriend is.

(Link): Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

(Link) Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

DEAR ABBY:

For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he’s the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn’t just lust.

We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He’s actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn’t believe our relationship can survive this difference.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?”

Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine

Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine

Stories like this make the Christian “Equally Yoked” rule look stupid and unnecessary.

(Link): Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine

A 28-year-old North Carolina man is facing a murder charge after allegedly stabbing his wife in bed — but the newlywed claims he doesn’t remember carrying out the alleged crime because he might have done it in his sleep, PEOPLE confirms.

Matthew Phelps, of Raleigh, called police distraught early Friday morning, declaring that his wife, Lauren, was dead on their bedroom floor covered in blood.

Continue reading “Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine”

Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby

Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby

Because you may think I am making this up (I can assure you I am not), there is a video below in this post from a clip of this episode.

I don’t hardly ever watch the TV show “Cheaters,” but I was up really early a few mornings ago and watched the last 5 – 10 minutes of one episode.

The husband in the episode (I believe his name was Jeff) was sneaking around with another woman behind his wife’s back. The “Cheaters” TV show crew caught him in bed with another woman, and he was wearing a diaper.

His wife, Susan, came in to the motel room, confronted the “mistress” (or whatever she was) and started screaming at Jeff her husband.

Jeff claimed there was nothing sexual going on, it was only about him pretending to be an adult baby.

Continue reading “Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby”

12-Year-Old Boy told to ‘Turn the Other Cheek’ as Christian School Refuses to Report Rape Case: Lawsuit

12-year-old boy told to ‘turn the other cheek’ as Christian school refuses to report rape case: lawsuit

A lot of Christians, Christian schools, universities, churches, etc., take this same attitude when anyone gets molested or raped: they blame the victim, and demand the victim instantly forgive the abuser, and they normally will not report cases to the police.

Considering this, I don’t think it’s wise for anyone to take dating or marriage advice from most Christians.

I think this also shows that just because someone is in a Christian environment (church, school, where ever) does not mean that the people you meet there are good, nice, moral people who are worthy of dating.

(Link): Yahoo News Source

(Link):  12-year-old boy told to ‘turn the other cheek’ as Christian school refuses to report rape case: lawsuit

Aug 2017

An exclusive Christian private school in a wealthy suburb of Nashville is accused of covering-up up the repeated sexual assaults of a 12-year-old boy.

The Brentwood Academy is being sued for $60 million for allowing four eighth-grade bullies to repeatedly sexually assault a sixth-grade student, the Tennessean (Link): reports.

The lawsuit was filed by the mother of the victim.

Four male students are alleged to have “conspired to engage in male on male sexual harassment, sexual assault and/or rape upon John Doe in the locker room not supervised by an adult,” according to the lawsuit. “(The boy) would place his penis before John Doe and forcibly penetrated it into the mouth of Plaintiff John Doe without consenting claiming ‘eat it, eat it, eat it, open your mouth, accept it.’”

The same student is alleged to have bragged he “f—ed that boy up the ass and stuck a Gatorade bottle in him.”

Brentwood Academy Headmaster Curtis G. Masters allegedly told the victim to “turn the other cheek” and that, “everything in God’s kingdom happens for a reason.”

The headmaster allegedly said he considered the allegations to be “boys being boys and he could not investigate each of those and run a school.”


Related Posts:

(Link):   Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link):  ‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband by L. Little

(Link): Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single  – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her

Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her

As I was sharing with someone on Twitter today, it’s Christian men and Christian churches like this one (mentioned in this story linked to below) that caused me to abandon the “Equally Yoked” doctrine years ago.

(Equally Yoked – Christian belief that a Christian single must only marry another self professing Christian.)

I’m completely serious when I told that person on Twitter I’d rather date a non-perverted atheist than a Christian who sexually harasses women.

Furthermore, look at how the church responded to this woman’s harassment claims – not by protecting and siding with the woman, but by protecting the pervert!

If you are a single Christian woman, churches are not safe places to meet potential mates. Churches are not safe places to get boyfriends or husbands.

I was taught by my Christian parents as I was growing up that I should seek out churches to find dates and a husband, but the older I get, I don’t see churches as being any safer or having better quality men than any other venue.

I would assume that this church is a “gender complementarian” church.

Complementarians often like to bray that they believe women are equal in value to men, just not in role.

Complementarians like to insist that though they teach women cannot have the same rights and roles as men, and that they believe men have “boss like” authority over wives, does not mean that they do not respect women. It’s all a bunch of fake hooey and propaganda.

At the end of the day, look at how complementarians TREAT women, not what they SAY about women: complementarians only feign caring and concern about women and woman’s safety. At the end of the day, complementarians will always throw girls and woman under the bus, especially if it’s to save a man’s career or reputation.

If you are a single Christian (especially a woman or girl), never, ever take dating advice from Christians – because most of them will do things like fire YOU if you complain that a male staffer is harassing you, or, they will tell you to stay married to a man, EVEN IF he is abusing you or you discover he’s looking at child pornography (I have actual examples of all these things on my blog).

(Link):Youth pastor sues Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church over sexual harassment

Dawn Neldon says she was forced to resign after complaining about new pastor’s inappropriate acts

…A former associate pastor at the Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church is suing the church and it’s new pastor Bryan Stamper for sexual harassment and for terminating her after she complained to church administrators.

Continue reading “Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her”