Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”

Over at SCCL, this Relevant editorial was under discussion – (Link): here, on Facebook. You may want to read the comments there – this is one of those times I am in agreement with some (or most) of the SCCL commentators

Here is the article itself:

(Link): 3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing by Q. Ross

I feel some of the advice on the page is okay – the author, Ross, basically tells you if you’re a single who wants to be married, go out and live your life – go on a cruise or whatever, don’t just sit around waiting for your life to start. That’s not necessarily bad advice.

In her editorial, Ross coaches singles not to complain about being single, which is a point I don’t agree with. Singles should be permitted to complain about being single if it helps them cope with the hurt, stress, or frustrations of being single, especially if the single in question had wanted to be married.

Singles needs to be heard (included any negative thoughts or emotions they’d like to share about singleness), not shushed by Christians who are uncomfortable with strong emotion. Singles don’t need any more platitudes, either.

Where things go south is where she suggests that if you’re still single, it’s because you have something wrong with you – God, she implies, is waiting for you to meet some kind of criteria before he will send you a spouse.

For example, Ross writes this:

Instead of complaining, show God that you are content with him alone and then maybe He’ll trust you with a relationship. He wants to know that when He does bring someone into your life, you won’t bail on Him and worship the gift rather than the gift-giver.

//end excerpt

As I’ve said time and again on my blog, I’ve seen far too many losers, weirdos, and violent people – whether Christian or not – who get married to believe that God requires people to become wonderful, mature, godly, or what have you, to earn a spouse.

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing””

‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

As I’ve said many times on this blog, there are times I am glad I have never married. After watching this show a few times, I definitely feel that way.

Here is a link or two about the show:

(Link): Deadly Wives: Acid Lady

(Link): Deadly Wives: Crime and Investigation

(Link): Deadly Wives

(Link): Deadly Wives TV Show

I caught a couple of episodes the other day on LIFEtime channel or whatever it’s called of a reality series called “Deadly Wives.”

Usually, it seems abuse and crimes in marriages are male- on- female, but in this show…

It’s a show about women who murder their husbands, female- on- male violence.

The first episode I saw was about a woman who killed her husband by giving him horse tranq via drops in his mouth from a Visine bottle, then she buried him in a vineyard.

The second episode I saw disturbed me far more than the first.

It was about a woman named Larissa, a chemist, who was married to Tim. She knocked Tim out with chloroform, and when he was only partially knocked out (he may have still been alive), she had a male accomplice named James stuff Tim into a large, blue barrel, where upon she dumped about four gallons of Hydrochloric acid on him.

Continue reading “‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid”

Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

This is going to be one of those posts that meanders all over the place.

I’m not really sure where to start.

I’ve been watching a cable TV show called “My 600 LB Life” for over a year now. Aspects of content I see on this show remind me of some of the subjects I blog about on here.

I’m not sure exactly why I watch this show, but I find it riveting, and sometimes horrifying. It’s a reality program. Each show features a real-life person who is 600 or more pounds over-weight.

I do not watch the show to make fun of or laugh at the obese people.

I watch, I suppose, because I am interested in their life stories and what drove them to cope with life’s problems by over-eating to the point they become morbidly obese.

I also tune in to learn medical information about what happens to a body once it gets up to 600 pounds.

I learned from this show that not only does the body get a lot of fat on it (obviously), and the heart has a harder time pumping, but obese people can and do develop all sorts of secondary issues, such as painful bumps, scales, and swelling on their legs (which are referred to as, or the result of, things such as (Link): Cellulitis and (Link): Lymphedema).

The majority of the time, I feel empathy for the obese people on this show.

I am wishing them all the best and hoping they lose the weight and recover and get over whatever childhood horror and pain led them to over-eat (most cases of this show consist of someone who turned to food as comfort after they were neglected, molested, or abused in childhood).

There have been a few cases on this show, such as Steve Assanti, Chuck, and James K., where I have little to no empathy at all, because the person is whiny, ungrateful, abusive, rude, or incredibly self-absorbed.

Continue reading “Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show”

Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Churches Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Several spiritual abuse blogs covered this story, as well as a handful of mainstream media outlets. (Links to the story are farther below).

From what I’ve read, this adult married man raped a young lady. He was, I think, in his mid-30s at the time of the rape, and his victim was around 13 years old. (Some of these articles are saying he had more than one young victim.)

At the time this story broke, I believe he was working in a library.

One of the spiritual abuse blogs dug up the information that this guy’s current wife is his THIRD WIFE, and they have children (however, I am unclear if these kids are his biological kids with this third wife, or if they are her kids from a prior marriage).

This church in Tennessee was allowing this sicko to act as a bass player on stage during various church services.

Many conservative Christians like to teach this falsehood that being married and being a parent are vital to making a person mature, godly, ethical, and loving, which is so much BUNK and nonsense, considering we have stories such as this one, where a man has been married THREE times in his life but raped kids before.

How did being thrice married prevent this creep from sexually assaulting girls? It did not. Marriage is not some kind of special salve or condition that makes a person behave in a moral fashion.

Continue reading “Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church”

Texas Pastor and Pastor’s Wife Sexually Abused Their Kids

Texas Pastor and Pastor’s Wife Sexually Abused Their Kids

Well, looky there! Married people are not more mature or godly than singles.

(Link):  Widow of Area Pastor Receives Five Life Sentences in Child Sex Case

There is always a steady supply of news items of married Christian couples who are arrested for fondling kids, abusing them, or neglecting them – I don’t have the time or energy to make blog posts about them every time I find them.

So to all the conservative Christians out there who keep making marriage out as a necessary rite of passage, one that instantly makes a person more mature, godly, loving, or responsible, knock it off.

Also be aware that this is more evidence that the rule of Christians only marrying other Christians (the equally yoked rule) is a WASTE OF TIME.

Self-professing Christians are no more trust-worthy or godly than your average Non-Christian.

So, if you are a single, Christian woman, please don’t feel limited to only dating Christian men.

BTW, this perverted woman is age 49, but she looks a lot older than that (there is a photo of her on the news page). I’m in my 40s too  (though I am younger than 49), but I don’t look like a fat, old haggard hag like this lady. I jog, stay in shape, wear make-up, look nice, etc.

Let this also be a lesson to you that the Christian teaching that says you must become more godly, more perfect, or “clean yourself up” before God will reward you with a spouse is false.

Obviously, neither of these perverts in this story were perfect or godly: they were sexually abusing children. You don’t have to be sinless, morally perfect, or great to merit a spouse.

(Link):  5 life sentences for Burnet woman in family sex abuse case

Oct 21, 2016

by  Philip Jankowski

…However, testimony during trial showed that Hopkins abused one of her daughters from the time she was at least 7 years old until she was 21, according to the district attorney’s office for the 33rd and 424th state judicial districts.

Continue reading “Texas Pastor and Pastor’s Wife Sexually Abused Their Kids”

Christian Man Kills Wife Leaving Church After Sunday Worship; Couple Active Members for 20 Years – So Much for Being Equally Yoked, and Marriage Making Couples More Mature and Godly

Christian Man Kills Wife Leaving Church After Sunday Worship; Couple Active Members for 20 Years – So Much for Being Equally Yoked, and Marriage Making Couples More Mature and Godly

Under the “equally yoked” teaching, Christians will insist that Christian singles only marry another self-professing Christian. I don’t know why. There are kinder, more considerate Non-Christians out there a woman can choose from.

Look at this Christian married couple. The husband killed the wife at a church they had been attending for years. So much for “equally yoked.”

I also say maybe church isn’t the best place for adult Christian singles to meet other adult Christian singles(?)

(Link): Chicago Man Kills Wife Leaving Church After Sunday Worship; Couple Active Members for 20 Years

by A. Kumar

August 1, 2016

A 38-year-old man fatally shot his 36-year-old wife as she came out of her church in Chicago, Illinois, after Sunday service, and then shot himself to death. Both were found dead on the scene.

The shooting took place shortly after the morning service ended at Second Mount Olive Missionary Baptist Church on the West Side of Chicago on Sunday afternoon, the Rev. Kenneth Giles, the church’s pastor, said, according to (Link): Chicago Tribune.

Continue reading “Christian Man Kills Wife Leaving Church After Sunday Worship; Couple Active Members for 20 Years – So Much for Being Equally Yoked, and Marriage Making Couples More Mature and Godly”

Married Man Paid Prostitute with Charity Money and Tipped Her With a Pet Monkey

Married Man Paid Prostitute with Charity Money and Tipped Her With a Pet Monkey

Christians: stop making marriage out to be the norm. It’s not. More people are staying single these days.

Furthermore, Christians of the world, especially American ones: The state of being married is NOT superior to being single. Marriage does not magically transform people into responsible, loving, ethical, caring adults.

Here we have a news story of a married man who cheated on his wife with a hooker and used money meant for charity to pay the hooker. Marriage clearly did not make this guy more mature or moral.

Let this story also be a reminder that you do not, as Christians claim, have to be perfect or godly to deserve, earn, or merit a spouse. If God permits idiots like this guy to get a spouse, there is no damn good reason for God to keep one from you (assuming you are not a deviant wacko).

(Link):  Police: Pet store owner [Married Man] tipped prostitute with primate, stolen Girl Scout money

  • EUGENE, OR. — Police in Eugene, Oregon said a pet store owner used a bush baby and stolen Girl Scout money to tip for a prostitute.
  • McClain’s wife posted a statement on Facebook saying the store was working to get Nathan McClain’s name off of the business and banking accounts.

(Link):   Man paid prostitute with charity money and a primate, police say

Continue reading “Married Man Paid Prostitute with Charity Money and Tipped Her With a Pet Monkey”

Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom

Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom

I think I’ve long since given up on my parent’s idea that the way to meet a decent, kind, stand-up man to marry is at a church. (It’s a bit of a problem anyhow, since a lot of single men between the ages of 25 and 75 don’t attend churches much.)

I do not blog about every single story that I see come through my Twitter feed about Christian men (some who work as preachers) who are arrested for fondling teens, raping children, soliciting sex from minors, or having child sex abuse (aka child porn) collections.

If all I did was blog about those kind of stories, I would be on this blog 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It would be difficult for me to keep up with them all. (This blog post you see here, of this preacher who raped girls at his church, is the 3rd or 4th such story I’ve seen like this come through Twitter this week alone. And I saw a few similar stories last week and the week before.)

Not only is a guy saying he’s a Christian not a guarantee he is quality material, but this deviant guy is MARRIED.

A lot of Christians promote this untrue idea that being married is necessary to make a person fully mature, godly, and responsible. Obviously, being married does not make everyone mature and godly, because I have numerous stories like this one of married men who are guilty of raping children.

And obviously, a person does not have to reach some level of godliness or perfection – as some Christians teach – before they can land or earn a spouse on their own merit or from God. This guy is as imperfect and twisted as they come, yet he was married! God did not keep this man from getting a spouse and marrying.

So please, Christians out there, please stop advising adult singles – as some of you do – that if they are still single, it’s because God is “working on them,” God is trying to “clean them up to make them marriage material,” or they have to work on themselves to remove flaws or sins from their own life.

I am hard pressed to think of anyone more flawed and sick than a child rapist or an animal abuser, but it’s a fact that some stories you see in the news of child rapists and animal abusers are also married. It’s not a bunch of never-married adults out there raping children or harming animals.

(Link):  Arkansas pastor whose wife discovered his horrendous child porn collection will serve two life sentences over the rape of girls at his church

Continue reading “Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom”

Complementarian Churches and the Single Adult Woman by J. Dyer

Complementarian Churches and the Single Adult Woman by J. Dyer

This is a page by a woman in her mid 30s who thought she would have been married by now but still finds herself single. She describes how the gender complementarian churches she has attended don’t minister to adult single women properly.

She also notes in this page how following all the usual Christian dating advice has not worked – she’s tried it all and is still single; this is a phenomenon I’ve blogged about before.

(Link): Complementarian Churches and the Single Adult Woman by J. Dyer

Excerpts:

  • …But it [meeting a spouse at church] didn’t [happen]. Well-meaning friends told me all manner of things about how God must be teaching me something (it appears I’m a slow learner). Or–my favorite–if I could just delight in the Lord, when I least expected it, God would bring “the man” into my life.
  • Churches often try to tell women how to be women without considering the whole range of God-inspired possibilities. There will always be outliers to the model they create.

Continue reading “Complementarian Churches and the Single Adult Woman by J. Dyer”

Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

I skimmed over this really long blog post, on Brent Detwiler’s site (link much farther below), about a guy, Caffery, who was jailed for pedophilia. Caffery has more than one victim, if I remember right.

Caffery wrote a book at one point claiming that belief in Christ changed his life for the better, and so on and so forth (amazingly, he was molesting kids while writing this book – during the same time frame).

Caffery also wrote (in a book or a letter to his church elders, I forget which) that he was afraid if his wife gave birth to a daughter, he would molest his own daughter, so he prayed and asked God for sons. His wife went on to give birth to all sons. (I think the blog post says he later had a daughter by his second wife.)

Let me pause here to say: if I were dating or engaged to a guy who told me this upfront, that he is afraid he might molest any kids we had together, I would take him at his word and dump his ass.

(I don’t know if the woman this guy married knew beforehand or not, I’m just saying if this happened to me, I would NOT stay with a guy who confessed such a thing to me.

Never, ever stay with a guy out of pity or a sense of duty – don’t feel sorry for Mr. “I might molest our kids if we have kids together” Pervert. Helping him or redeeming such a deviant is not your responsibility. Part of the reason I got sucked into my last disaster of an engagement was that I felt sorry for the guy.)

The part that really stood out to me in this blog post by DeWiler was when Caffery said after one wife divorced him, he went looking for a new wife at a large Christian church. I found this alarming and creepy.

Continue reading “Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles”

Baptist Preacher Led Church for Five Years as Registered Sex Offender – and They Celebrated Him

Baptist Preacher Led Church for Five Years as Registered Sex Offender – and They Celebrated Him

The mind boggles at how so many churches are either blind to abuse, or, if they notice or discover it, support the abuser and harass the abuser’s victims.

In this case, one report said that this church knew that their preacher was a sex offender, and they gave him glowing praise in some church annual report.

The Jesus of the Bible would say that this child molesting sicko preacher should have a mill stone tied around his neck and tossed into the sea, not given slaps on the back and awards, give me a break.

The article by the preacher (second link below) says that the rest of his denomination used legal loopholes to get around informing the rest of the members that there was a child sexual predator in their midst – which could have left other children even more vulnerable to being molested by the deviant.

My parents used to teach me that churches were the best place to meet a mate, if you were single and wanted to get married.

In light of all the horrible news stories I see about professing male Christians (some of whom are married) who are arrested for raping children, raping grown women, or having serial affairs, I think that I am just as well off dumping the “be equally yoked” rule and dating Non-Christian men.

There was a report that came out a few weeks ago that says that Christian ministry (clergy) is an attractive profession to a lot of people who are clinically NPD (narcissistic personality disorder); learn more about that (Link): here (look for 3-09-16 / Guest: Darrell broadcast – or please try this link). That is yet another reason to avoid dating or marrying Christian men, especially the ones who harbor clergy ambitions.

I don’t know if the deviant preacher mentioned in this news story is a married guy or not, or if he is a father or not.

(Link): Connecticut Pastor Led Church for Five Years as Registered Sex Offender.

  • A pastor at a Baptist Church in New Haven, Connecticut, was allowed to continue leading his church for five years while on the state sex offender registry after a child-molestation conviction, letters from church officials and state court records show.
  • It was only after his second arrest—in 2014 on child pornography charges—that Eli Echevarria stepped down from leading El Calvario Baptist Church, according to the letters and court records.
  • Church leaders, who operate independently of the central Baptist governing authority in Connecticut, have not responded to multiple requests for comment. Echevarria is serving a two-year prison sentence” (“Baptist Church Was Led by Sex Offender for Years,” Courant.com).

(Link): Breaking My Church’s Silence About A Pedophile

  • By Preacher Bill Keane
  • March 20, 2016
  • Thirty-two years in the pulpit have shown me that ministry isn’t based on what you plan, it’s expressed in how you stand up to what can’t be foreseen. That’s why, after wrestling with futile internal protest, and seeing no definitively informative and positive change, I decided to make public the failure of my church hierarchy to expose one of its long-term ministers as a pedophile.
  • On the contrary, last April, the annual report of the American Baptist Churches of Connecticut included praise and gratitude for Eli Echevarria, convicted four months before and sentenced to prison for possessing child pornography involving young girls down to toddlers. The printed endorsement nearly sucked the life out of my soul.
  •  

    More than a year earlier, the same man began visiting my congregation in Branford. We welcomed him, and in the following months he mixed with the congregation, including the children.

  • …Indeed, in the previously mentioned letter from our regional president, relative to not informing local pastoral leadership about Echevarria’s history, he said that the ABCConn executive minister at the time had contacted church legal counsel, who told her that “there is no statutory requirement to make public information more public.”
  • Therefore, instead of receiving a responsible explanation for leaving local leadership out of the loop, it was fancy legalese with no biblical or ethical basis.
  •  

    Then, in December 2015, I received the police investigation report leading to the most recent arrest, conviction and incarceration of the applauded pedophile. Just the short file names describing the child pornography involved made me want to cry and throw up. The police report describes images of men having sex with pre-pubescent girls, some described as being “clearly toddlers.” It is a painful thing to face the fact that such evil exists. Yet turning a blind eye is not an option.

————-

Related Posts:

(Link):  Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

(Link):  Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it (New Study Says Conservatives Have Better Self Control Than Liberals)

Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire

Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire

This news story is another indicator of how the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is bunk: I’d rather marry an Atheist guy who would NOT burn me alive than marry (and be “equally yoked” to) a Christian preacher who would hire his MISTRESS to set me on fire.

(This article says this MARRIED Christian also stole money from his elderly mother. What a P.O.S.)

Also note how being married does NOT, contra what Christians teach, make a person more loving, responsible, godly, or mature.

And why is a 33 year old woman having an affair with a 71 year old man? GROSS.

(Yes, it’s (Link): totally gross). I guess she was just using him for his money – this article says he bought her a new car and paid her bills.

You quite obviously do not have to be godly or perfect to merit a spouse, as this jerk creep guy was married. (A lot of Christians teach that you have to earn a spouse by being a good person or by being godly or by being more “whatever.”)

That so many losers, deviants, and creeps get spouses, (even so many losers who profess belief in Christ), it goes to show that no, you do not have to achieve some level of perfection or godliness before God will send you a spouse.

Also note that both cheaters in this story are MARRIED. Christians often depict un -married women as being harlots who set out to bed married men (usually, though not always, this is done under the “Billy Graham Rule”), when in fact, it’s usually married people who have affairs with other married people.

How mind-blowing is married Christian sex (something that Christian assert) that this married Christian man was apparently seeking nooky with another woman (I presume he was boinking the other lady)?

(Link): Baptist pastor sentenced to 50 years for hiring mistress and her husband to set his wife on fire

Excerpts:

  • A Baptist pastor from Missouri has been sentenced to 50 years in prison last week for hiring his mistress and her husband to burn his house down with his wife inside of it, reports the Riverfront Times.

Continue reading “Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire”

Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

This is a follow up to my previous post (there are further updates at the bottom of this post):

The pastor I reference in my headline of this blog post is Tullian Tchividjian.

I know I probably should not be surprised at this point, but I still find myself surprised or dumbfounded at how so many Christians or churches today do not take sexual sins seriously.

I already know that most churches prefer to hear sexual purity sermons (Link): from fornicators than they do from actual, honest- to- God adult virgins.

But I thought, maybe, just maybe, some churches out there at least have the sense to sermonize against adultery and other sorts of sexual sins, or hold sexual sinners  ~ especially pastors who commit adultery or some other sort of sexual sin – accountable.

But no. They don’t.

This article says that this church knew about their preacher’s adultery (even the previous one), and asked him to keep it hush-hush.

Unbelievable.

What is that verse from the Bible, again?: “God is shamed and judged negatively among the Gentiles because of your behavior.” -or something like that.

Okay, take that verse and reword it slightly to, “God is shamed and judged harshly among the Non-Christians because of your behavior,” and I think that would apply.

Do these churches and people claiming the name of Jesus Christ not care at all about what Jesus taught?

Do churches today and Christians not care about Christian ethics and morality, about doing the right thing, even if doing so may be unpopular?

How can anyone who claims to be a Jesus-follower be so causal about following His teachings?

Note that this other woman he had an affair with is MARRIED.

That’s right, Christians like to depict SINGLE women as the threats to married men, when here we have married people cheating on their spouses with OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE.

(Link): Coral Ridge Elders Knew of Tullian Tchividjian’s Affair With Married Woman, Advised Him to Keep Secret, Source Alleges 

  • BY LEONARDO BLAIR , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
  • March 18, 2016|4:07 pm
  • At least two elders at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Florida allegedly had knowledge that their former pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, grandson to evangelical icon Billy Graham, had engaged in an adulterous affair with a married member of his flock and advised him to keep it secret from his wife.

    Reacting to a (Link): report in The Christian Post Thursday that Tchividjian was fired by Willow Creek Church in Winter Springs, Florida, after they were blindsided by his latest confession, a highly placed source informed CP Friday that the recent disclosure is really the result of a “systemic cover up” by church leaders that began two years ago.

    “Tullian had actually been confronted about that two years ago. At the time, he was confronted by two elders at Coral Ridge and Steve Brown (Key Life Ministries), and confessed to having a relationship with a married woman,” said the source.

    “At the time, he was not advised to step down as lead pastor, but instead was advised not to immediately inform his wife about the matter — she only learned about this last week. To make matters worse, the two elders never informed the rest of the session about this situation. One can only wonder whether the second situation could have been averted if the first situation had not been covered up,” the source continued.

    “This is not a situation that Tullian had kept quiet and suddenly disclosed to someone for the first time last week. It’s been known by at least three others in addition to Tullian and the woman involved for over two years,” the source added.

    Continue reading “Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet”

Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’

Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’

Conservative Christians – a lot of them – think that getting married and having children are necessary to become mature, godly, self-less, and responsible.

Here is another example on my blog (view more (Link): here and (Link): here) that show that being married or a parent is not necessarily a guarantee that a person will be more mature, loving, godly or responsible.

Goodness knows that the Bible never teaches that marriage or parenthood are rites of passage to earn true adulthood.

It would also appear that the pedophile in this story claimed to be a Christian, or thought of himself as a Christian – he was volunteering at a church.

Church is not necessarily a safe place to meet decent single men, if you are a single Christian woman who wants to marry. You might be better off taking chances dating Non-Christian men you meet through friends or on dating sites.

Here is an excerpt about this story from the Daily Mail site’s coverage:

  • The court heard allegations that Castillo had tied up one of the brothers during sexual acts, which included oral sex – the night before he was due to marry his now-wife Katheryn.

Not only was this pervert raping little boys, but he was assaulting them on the night before he was to marry.

After reading stories like this one, I sometimes do think maybe I haven’t missed out by not marrying.

I’m one of those people who had wanted to marry, but I see stories like this one and think, if there are one or two things worse than being single when you’d like to marry, it would be being married to a sexual pervert who preys on kids or (Link): animals, or to an abusive man.

Some Christians teach that in order to get a spouse from God, you must earn one by cleaning up your life, or by being more godly – or what have you. Stories like this are proof that you don’t have to be very godly or perfect to get a spouse.

This guy is a pond scum child rapist and yet was married. Obviously, being a pond scum abuser did not hinder God from sending this guy a spouse.

A lot of Christians say that the nuclear family is a necessary building block of culture, though the Bible does not teach this idea (otherwise the Bible would not state in 1 Cor 7 that God respects singleness), but regardless, notice that although this man was part of a nuclear family – he was married with a child on the way – this did not prevent him from being a sleaze bucket and raping little boys.

Christians also are fond of teaching that married sex is great, regular, and very satisfying. If that is so, you’d think these perverts – who are married – might be sexually satisfied with their wives alone, but no, they still fondle and assault little kids. (But then, pedophilia does involve an adult who is sexually attracted to children, not adults.)

I’ve just seen too many news stories of married Christian men who get caught raping people (even other adults) or being porn addicts to buy into the Christian myth that married sex is so wonderful, you won’t be tempted to go outside of the marriage to get sex.

This first link is from a left wing site, and left wingers tend to be anti-gun (not that I’m particularly into gun culture myself, but I am not opposed to gun ownership or legal, responsible gun use, either, like a lot of liberals are):

(Link): Gun-loving church youth mentor accused of creating horrifying sex attic to abuse young boys by B P Markus

  • A former church youth mentor is being accused of sexually abusing two young boys, according to the (Link): Charlotte Observer.
  • Julio Andres “Andy” Castillo, 34, of South Carolina, is being accused of multiple counts of sexually abusing the two boys while they were under the age of 16. Castillo has been jailed without bond since February 29. Castillo met the boys at church, Episcopal Church of Our Saviour and also York Place, a place where troubled children received counseling. York Place closed in November.
  • According to prosecutors, Castillo had a very close relationship with the boys’ family, which include keys to their home and free access to the children.
  • The abuse went to such an extent that Castillo built a secret room in his attic especially to molest the children. The room included a bed with rings for rope, so he could tie them up, according to the Observer. The room was accessible only with a ladder.

Continue reading “Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’”

How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi

How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi

I’ve read an article about this woman’s book (“The Wild Oats Project”) before. I may have blogged on it a few months ago.

Her story makes me want to barf. She made a mockery out of her first marriage.

One problem or area of weakness I have seen with Christian teachings on sexual purity (in which I include virginity and celibacy) is that if or when Christians bother to defend or promote sexual purity anymore (they seldom do these days), is that they tend to emphasize it only for singles who are teen-agers to about their mid-20s in age.

Anyone past age 25 or 30 who is sexually abstaining is ignored by Christians in regards to sexual purity encouragement or teaching.

Married couples are usually ignored in Christian sexual purity teachings as well, although every other testimony I see on Christian blogs and television is about married couples who are porn addicts, or one partner is cheating on the other with other sexual partners.

Note in the story below that sexual behavior has consequences. It can sometimes end in negative ramifications for yourself and/or your partner.

At one point, this review says that Rinaldi goes on about how much she enjoys penises and finds them beautiful, and that she enjoys sticking them in her mouth. Warning here for any men reading: the vast majority of women do not like penises or find them beautiful.

Rather, most women think penises look horrible or ridiculous, and most do not want to perform oral sex on men.

Most women don’t enjoy looking at penises and do not enjoy (Link, off site: Should You Send A Lady A Dick Pic) getting “dick pics” on dating sites, or anywhere else.

Christians – if bothering to support virginity at all these days – will tell singles that if they wait until marriage to have sex, the wait will be worth it, because the sex will be (this is their favorite phrase in this area of discussion) “mind blowing,” and it is implied by these Christians that married sex will be regular and frequent.

What this book shows that I am blogging about here is that after several years, plenty of married couples find their sex lives to be hum-drum, routine, and boring, not “mind blowing.”

Some of these spouses are fine with routine, boring sex, but the other partner in the relationship may get bored and tired of it. That is why some of them seek out affairs or weird, kinky sex moves with each other.

One of the few positive things I can say about the revolting information and story in this review about this book is that it lays to rest some secular and Christian stereotypes about female sexuality.

Here is a long excerpt from the review:

(Link): How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – Review by L. Crocker

  • Robin Rinaldi wanted to spice up her marriage by having sex with other people—which ended up bringing a lot of heartbreak, and destroying her relationship.
  • Forty pages into her new memoir, The Wild Oats Project, Robin Rinaldi has mined every modern female anxiety: fear of being alone; boredom in monogamy; a ticking biological clock; a husband who doesn’t want children; a marriage devoid of passion.

    Rinaldi loves her husband, Scott, and has been with him for 17 years. He never wanted children, and when Rinaldi begs him to reconsider, he responds by getting a vasectomy.

    With no hope of having a family and desperate to feel passion that had long ago flickered out in her relationship, Rinaldi—then 44—negotiates an open marriage that permits both to see other people for a year.

    They jokingly refer to it as the “Wild Oats project.” She lays out ground rules—“no serious involvements, no unsafe sex, no sleeping with mutual friends”—and proceeds to break them all within a few months.

    … She advertises for hookups on Craigslist and Nerve.com (Tinder didn’t exist yet) and sleeps with men half her age…

    … Rinaldi’s husband is, for the most part, a saint. He frequently entreats her to quit the project and work on their marriage. He is patient and loving when she refuses, and reneges on his threats to leave her when she collapses in tears at his feet.

    Continue reading “How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi”

Woman accused of beating husband with nunchucks because he refused sex

Woman accused of beating husband with nunchucks because he refused sex

This news story neatly puts dents into a secular and Christian stereotype about female sexuality: that women do not want sex.

Especially not married women, no. If you listen to secular culture speakers and Christian preachers, married women supposedly always have headaches and are frigid, so the evangelical pastors are forever cajoling and pleading with married women in sermons and blog posts to remember their poor, sex starved husbands and cave in and perform for them, even if they have headaches.

This story also quite nicely disproves the standard evangelical trope that marriage makes people more giving, self-less, mature, responsible, godly, and all that.

And the other evangelical or conservative Christian myth: you have to achieve some level of godliness or perfection before God will send you a spouse. May I suggest that a woman who attacks her husband with nunchucks over declining sex is not all that perfect, godly, mature, or loving?

If God is allowing idiots like this to marry, there is no reason why any other single who wants marriage should be prohibited by the Divine from having a spouse.

(Link): Woman accused of beating husband with nunchucks because he refused sex

  • A woman in South Carolina hurled ceramic figurines at her husband and hit him with nunchucks after he refused to have sex with her, police revealed Wednesday.
  • Sondra Earle-Kelly, 51, faces aggravated domestic violence charges, Fox 8 reports. The fight took place the night of Jan. 17 in Rock Hill, north of Columbia, investigators say.
  • Kelly’s husband was watching TV in his living room when she asked him to go to bed with her, police told The Charlotte Observer. When he refused, she kept “assaulting him with whatever she could pick up,” police report.

———————-

Related Posts:

(Link):  Woman Stabs Husband with Ceramic Squirrel For Not Buying Beer

(Link):  Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): 60 Year Old Lady Contracted Herpes from Cheating Husband

(Link): Here’s What All Women In Sexless Marriages Need To Know by B. Wong

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

(Link):  Perverted Christian Married Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): AARP post: How to Handle a Sexless Married Life – But Christians Promise You Great Hot Regular Married Sex

(Link): Married Woman Signing off as “Looking Ahead” Admits to Being in Sexless Marriage for TEN YEARS

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

(Link): Wife Writes to Ask Amy About Her Sexless Marriage October 2013

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): Her Marriage is Sexless While She Cares For Sick Elderly Father

My Husband Raped Two Women — And I Had To Answer For His Crimes by S. Moroney

My Husband Raped Two Women — And I Had To Answer For His Crimes by S. Moroney

The link to the article is much farther below. I wanted to say a few things first.

I’ve only read about 1/3 or 1/4th of this article so far (and have skimmed down more), and holy moly, this is one of those times where I’m all “I am so freaking glad I have never married. There ARE benefits to being single.”

I feel sorry for this lady and wish her the best, but her story does serve as some kind of reminder that marriage is not all the romantic Hollywood movies or conservative Christians make it out to be.

Note that she writes that she met her husband – who not only killed a woman years prior, but went on to rape two women – in a soup kitchen.

I mention this because often on Christian TV shows, I hear preachers tell single women who want to marry to go volunteer at soup kitchens (or other places) if they want to meet eligible men and get married. (I also to this day get similar advice from Christian family members.)

I think this is a good example of why you need to take a man’s character into account, not just his profession of beliefs, or that you even meet him at a soup kitchen.

Just because a guy APPEARS to be upstanding – he volunteers, or goes to church weekly, or reads the Bible – does not mean he’s trustworthy or ethical.

Continue reading “My Husband Raped Two Women — And I Had To Answer For His Crimes by S. Moroney”

Cops Searching for Married Church Preacher Who Raped Teen Girl and Impregnated Her

Cops Searching for Married Church Preacher Who Raped Teen Girl and Impregnated Her

This news story (among other ones like it I have on my blog) counters common evangelical claims about sex and marriage, including:

  1. Married persons are not necessarily more godly or mature than un-married ones.
  2. If married sex is so great and satisfying, why are married preachers boinking other women, including teen-aged girls? They should be “getting off” with their wife alone
  3. One does not have to obtain perfection or a certain level of godliness before God will allow that person to marry
  4. The “equally yoked” rule is pointless, as some Christian men are just as capable as being perverted, abusive, and deviant as Non-Christian men

(Link): Married pastor, 33, believed to be on the run after he ‘sexually assaulted teenage girl and got her pregnant’

(Link): Police: Chesco pastor accused of sexually assaulting teen

Excerpts:

  • by M. Bond
  • Jan 2016
  • Police are searching for a former Chester County pastor accused of sexually assaulting and impregnating a teenage girl who lived with him.Jacob “Jake” Malone, 33, of the 300 block of South Whitford Road in Exton, is wanted for rape, institutional sexual assault, and related offenses, police said Monday.
  • … Malone worked at Calvary Fellowship, a nondenominational church in Downingtown, for about 18 months, said Bill Bateman, one of five pastors at the church.
  • Malone and his wife treated the teenager like an adopted daughter, Bateman said.
  • …In November 2015, church leaders learned of the girl’s pregnancy and of Malone’s alleged inappropriate relationship in another state with a female whose age Bateman would not disclose.
  • The church leaders confronted Malone, he admitted he impregnated the teenager, and he resigned in mid-November, Bateman said.
  • …Police said Malone met the girl when she was about 12 and a member of a church in Mesa, Ariz., where Malone was serving as a pastor.
  • Police said several years later, in June 2014, Malone contacted the girl, who was 17. He invited her to stay with him and his family in Minnesota, where he had become a pastor.
  • The girl said Malone then began trying to have “inappropriate contact” with her, police said.

Updates.

(Link):  Pastor Charged With Raping Teenage Girl Is In Ecuador, Police Say

  • by Andy Campbell
  • A former pastor thought to be on the run after allegedly raping a teenage girl is trying to return from Ecuador to turn himself in, police said Tuesday.
  • Jacob Malone, 33, was charged last week with rape and institutional sexual assault for allegedly attacking a teen he’d met years earlier at an Arizona church, according to police from West Whiteland Township in Pennsylvania.
  • A spokesman with the police department told The Huffington Post on Tuesday that Malone hired a lawyer, and that he was in Ecuador awaiting a return flight to Pennsylvania. Malone plans to turn himself in this week, the spokesman said. Malone’s attorney, Charles Proctor, declined to comment on the case.
  • Police announced Malone’s whereabouts just a day after they said he was on the run in an unknown location.

Christian, Family Values Vlogger – Austin Null – Caught Sexting

Christian, Family Values Vlogger – Austin Null – Caught Sexting

I think I first saw this story on Twitter, and it was later picked up by SCCL (“Stuff Christian Culture Likes”) Facebook group (they are discussing the story (Link): here)

Because of stories like this one, I’m really skeptical about the “be equally yoked” teaching that married Christians insist marriage-minded singles adhere to.

I would assume that both the husband and wife in this Null marriage are Christians – what on earth is the point in a Christian woman marrying a Christian, if the Christian husband turns around and does things like have affairs on the wife, sends nude photos of himself to other people online, and so on?

On a side note here, I’m perplexed at how and why so many “family values” Christians keep blaming things like secular feminism on the downfall of culture.

I don’t see how secular feminism bears the blame for this married Christian man sending nude photos of himself to a mistress. It seems to me that is his responsibility alone, not secular feminism, or the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

I also think this is a blow to the teaching about marriage and dating one sees from some Christians which goes like this: you have to become perfect or really godly to earn a spouse from God.

If God is permitting imperfect ass-clowns like this Null guy to have a wife – a guy who cheats on her by sending nudie photos of himself to strangers on the internet – I seriously doubt God sits about saying, “I refuse to send a spouse to this adult single over here for cutting someone off in traffic two weeks ago.”

Christians often like to tell teen aged kids that if they just wait until marriage to have sex, that the sex will be frequent and great. If married Christian sex is so great, why was this married Christian man getting his rocks off sending nudie photos of himself to someone else?

(Link):   Austin Null of The Nive Nulls ADMITS to CHEATING for FIVE Months!

  • Austin and Britt Null uploaded an impromptu vlog entitled, “WE NEED TO TALK”, on their YouTube channel–The Nive Nulls. Austin and Brit discuss nude images and video that has surfaced of Austin Null being inappropriate with several intimate household objects. Austin says this issue has been a big part of the both of their lives for one year!

Continue reading “Christian, Family Values Vlogger – Austin Null – Caught Sexting”

Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

Okay, let’s review. I am right wing and not opposed to the traditional family or what some other right wingers refer to as “family values.” What perturbs me is that right wingers and Christians have placed way too much importance on either concept. They marginalize adult singles, the child free, the divorced, widowers, the infertile, and others as a result.

Also, faith in Family Values is misplaced. The Bible does not advise Christians to put faith in Family Values to save culture or to save people – it says that is what faith in Jesus Christ is for.

Harping on family values is not going to necessarily improve societal ills.

Here’s a story which shows that the traditional family unit is not, contrary to what some other conservatives think, all that great, nor does the family unit always produce upstanding morality or persons – that is what the Holy Spirit is for, the Bible teaches.

Christians especially like to teach that parents and the married are more mature, loving, godly, and compassionate than those who are single or who are childless or childfree.

I don’t often see stories of adult, childfree singles who murder children and feed their dead bodies to pigs, but daily to weekly, I do see stories like this one below .

I just saw another really bad news story last week about a mother who let her boyfriend sexually assault her biological daughter on numerous occasions over a period of several years. I never got around to blogging about that one, I don’t think, but I did Tweet a link to that news story on my Twitter account.

There is simply nothing inherent about being married or being a parent which makes a person more caring or ethical than being single, divorced, or childless or childfree, something Christians and more conservatives need to be aware of.

Continue reading “Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values”