Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

Okay, let’s review. I am right wing and not opposed to the traditional family or what some other right wingers refer to as “family values.” What perturbs me is that right wingers and Christians have placed way too much importance on either concept. They marginalize adult singles, the child free, the divorced, widowers, the infertile, and others as a result.

Also, faith in Family Values is misplaced. The Bible does not advise Christians to put faith in Family Values to save culture or to save people – it says that is what faith in Jesus Christ is for.

Harping on family values is not going to necessarily improve societal ills.

Here’s a story which shows that the traditional family unit is not, contrary to what some other conservatives think, all that great, nor does the family unit always produce upstanding morality or persons – that is what the Holy Spirit is for, the Bible teaches.

Christians especially like to teach that parents and the married are more mature, loving, godly, and compassionate than those who are single or who are childless or childfree.

I don’t often see stories of adult, childfree singles who murder children and feed their dead bodies to pigs, but daily to weekly, I do see stories like this one below .

I just saw another really bad news story last week about a mother who let her boyfriend sexually assault her biological daughter on numerous occasions over a period of several years. I never got around to blogging about that one, I don’t think, but I did Tweet a link to that news story on my Twitter account.

There is simply nothing inherent about being married or being a parent which makes a person more caring or ethical than being single, divorced, or childless or childfree, something Christians and more conservatives need to be aware of.

Continue reading “Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values”

Stop Believing God Told You to Marry Your Spouse by G. Thomas

Stop Believing God Told You to Marry Your Spouse by G. Thomas

(Link): Stop Believing God Told You to Marry Your Spouse by G. Thomas

Excerpts:

  • There is nothing in Scripture that suggests there is just one person we’re ‘supposed’ to marry.
  • Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice—there is no mention of second guessing some divine destiny.
  • In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul tells women (widows, in particular) to seriously consider singleness, but assures them the choice of whether to get married is up to them, and then specifically says women can marry “whomever they wish” as long as their potential husband is ‘in the Lord.’ (v. 39)
  • If the Bible explicitly says, ‘it’s your call whether or not to get married’ (a sentiment Jesus echoes when he says some “choose” to become eunuchs—celibate—in Matthew 19:12, with emphasis on the word “choose”) and it’s entirely your choice as to who to marry, why should your subjective feelings and reasoning override living by the truth of Scripture?
  • There is, quite frankly, nothing in Scripture that ever tells us it is our sworn duty to marry one particular person. Whether we marry, and who we marry, are spoken of in Scripture as part of God’s “permissive will,” something he allows us to choose.

Continue reading “Stop Believing God Told You to Marry Your Spouse by G. Thomas”

Woman raised in the Bible Belt by religious parents says she ended up in TWO abusive relationships – because being banned from dating made her ‘ignorant’ about men

Woman raised in the Bible Belt by religious parents says she ended up in TWO abusive relationships – because being banned from dating made her ‘ignorant’ about men

(A link to a woman’s testimony about how Christian or religious dating advice as a kid hurt her as an adult is linked to farther below in this post.)

As I’ve written of before on my blog, much Christian teaching about dating, gender roles, and marriage – especially if espoused by Christians who believe in and teach something called “gender complementarianism” – can often leave marriage-minded singles single far longer than they wish, or perhaps permanently.

Christian teaching on dating, while intended to help singles date “safely” (i.e., to prevent pre-marital sex)  ironically erects obstacles for singles who’d like to get married.

One problem of Christian teaching about dating and singleness is to teach singles, to teach men and women, to be afraid of each other; never spend time alone with an opposite-gender person, lest it lead to fornication.

Well, the only way to marry is to first spend time with an opposite-gender person (assuming you are hetero), via dating.

If you are a lady, in order to discover if you are compatible with a guy, you need to spend time alone with him on dates, especially if you are an adult. (Group dating is for teens, not people over the age of 21.)

This woman’s testimony I link to farther down this page is yet another example of this situation, of how damaging the usual Christian dating advice and gender complementarianism is to singles, especially women.

The things she was taught growing up by her religious parents – things about dating, modesty, gender roles, etc – caused her relationship problems later in life.

Christian Gender Complementarianism infantilizes women, causes them to be naive, and teaches them it is wrong, unladylike, or selfish to have boundaries and to be assertive.

As you can see in this article, this was certainly a problem for the woman author, Lorens.

When she was confronted with vulgar, strange male clients at her job in a store, she did not know how to assert herself and tell them to shove off – or even if she could do so in the first place.

Continue reading “Woman raised in the Bible Belt by religious parents says she ended up in TWO abusive relationships – because being banned from dating made her ‘ignorant’ about men”

Pastor Saeed Abedini’s Wife Halts Public Advocacy, Citing Marital Woes and Abuse -article says her husband is a Porn Addict

Pastor Saeed Abedini’s Wife Halts Public Advocacy, Citing Marital Woes and Abuse -article says her husband is a Porn Addict

Before I get to the link to the news story itself – about jailed pastor Saeed being a porn user who abused his wife, I wanted to comment about the story first (I also have comments below the news page excerpt below).

So much for the Christian teachings about “being equally yoked,” which is generally understood to mean a Christian person can only marry another Christian.

While it’s true that a lot of Non-Christians are scum balls who would make poor spouses, I have so far not seen any evidence that so-called Christian men are any more trustworthy, loving, or mature than your average atheist guy, Hindu, Jewish guy, or whomever.

I actually tweeted in support of this guy a few times several months back… but he was abusing his wife, and she says he has a porn addiction problem – I didn’t know this until a couple of days ago, when I saw this article.

I also want to remind you of another point I touch on often on this blog: Contrary to what some conservative Christians teach on how to go about getting married, you do NOT have to be perfect, clean  yourself up, or change yourself in some fashion to “earn” a spouse.

Continue reading “Pastor Saeed Abedini’s Wife Halts Public Advocacy, Citing Marital Woes and Abuse -article says her husband is a Porn Addict”

People Suspect Pastor Davey Blackburn May Have Something to Do With His Wife’s Murder

People Suspect Pastor Davey Blackburn May Have Something to Do With His Wife’s Murder

(In the days after making this post, I have added new links, mostly at the bottom of the post)


I haven’t been keeping up with this news story all that much. I’ve just skimmed a few other blog posts about it.

A lot of Christian chatter I’m seeing online indicates people suspect that Davey Blackburn, who is a pastor, may have hired a hit man to murder his wife, or he killed her himself. They find his actions suspicious, his demeanor and tone when talking about his deceased wife suspicious.

All I care to say at this point that if true, if this pastor husband did in fact murder his wife or paid someone to have her killed, I would not be shocked.

I already keep a long, running list of such stories – I have many blog posts on my blog here with links to news stories of men who claim to be Christ-followers, who are married, who are arrested for killing or beating their wives. You can view that collection of links (Link): here.

The police said a few days ago that they cleared the husband, but still, a lot of people I’ve seen online think that the husband had something to do with his wife’s murder.

Let this news story of the pastor’s wife being found dead, with a bullet wound in her head, be a reminder that if you do actually marry, there is no guarantee your spouse will live for years with you.

Your spouse may die, leaving you single again.

I mention this because secular and Christian culture tend to paint this picture of life that there is a “soul mate” for everyone, that you will find this soul mate person, marry them, and live happily ever after.

The truth is, your spouse may be a crime victim, get in a car wreck and die, or develop cancer and die.

Christians therefore need to stop placing so much emphasis on “the nuclear family” and marriage – the New Testament teaches that all believers in Christ (and Christ himself) are to take priority over your spouse or blood relations.

The way this works, is that if you are married and your spouse dies, you will not be left completely alone, IF your church family (assuming you have one) will be your family too. You won’t be left alone.

However,  many churches don’t view other Christians in this manner; they all think the cure for loneliness is to marry and have some kids. But what happens if you never marry, you divorce, or your spouse dies?

Edit. Here are some new links, by way of Watchkeep’s Twitter and Janet Mefferd’s Twitter:

(Link):  Questions, Inconsistencies Remain in Murder of Indiana Pastor’s Wife

Excerpts:

Jarrett emphasized that the pastor is not a person of interest, but must be investigated because in so many cases, husbands and boyfriends are involved when a female is murdered.

The pastor said he left the house at 6am on the morning of the murder to go to the gym, then found his wife when he returned.

Jarrett said another issue is that authorities cannot pin down the exact time that Amanda Blackburn was shot.

Therefore, Jarrett said police can’t rule out that Amanda was shot before the pastor left.

Jarrett said the suspect in the surveillance image is said to have broken into a home nearby beforehand, but there was no sign of forced entry at the Blackburn home and nothing was taken.

… Jarrett noted that there was no “discernible” sadness, tears or anguish from the pastor during the interview.

He said all people grieve in different ways, but others have also pointed out that the pastor smiled at other points in the interview.

(Link):   Pastor takes time away from Indianapolis to mourn slain wife

Here are links to the news story about Blackburn and his wife’s murder:

(Link):  Cops vow to catch killer of Indianapolis pastor’s wife as they probe next-door break in: ‘We will find you’

Nov 13, 2015

Indiana crime fighters cleared a popular pastor in the fatal shooting of his pregnant 28-year-old wife and narrowed their investigation to a rash of burglaries in the couple’s leafy Indianapolis neighborhood, officials said during an emotional press conference Friday morning.

Continue reading “People Suspect Pastor Davey Blackburn May Have Something to Do With His Wife’s Murder”

Eleven Marriage Regrets From the Divorced (from H. Post) -Also the No Divorce Rule by Christians is a Symptom of Holding Marriage as an Idol

(Link): Blogger Guy, John H. Morgan, Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Apparently Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use As A Resource
___________________________________________
Eleven Marriage Regrets From the Divorced (from H. Post) -Also the No Divorce Rule by Christians is a Symptom of Holding Marriage as an Idol

I no longer believe in the Christian view of “permanence” regarding marriage (you might want to read this off site article about the issue) – not that I ever accepted it concerning abusive marriages to start with.

I never felt that an abused woman should stay with an abusive man and “submit more” to him, or just stay, period. Life is to short to spend it with someone who mistreats you or takes you for granted, or to spend it feeling ignored, unsatisfied, and unloved. Abuse is a grounds for divorce, not only adultery.

I think that the “permanence” view of marriage – which stipulates either only adultery is grounds for “biblical divorce” or there are no biblical grounds for divorce ever, is a symptom of MARRIAGE IDOLATRY. Christians have made marriage into an idol that they worship along with God.

A Christian person’s only permanent relationship is with the Trinity (God). If you are married on earth, Jesus Christ says your spouse now will not be your spouse in Heaven, as there is no marriage in the afterlife. Your relationship with Christ will stay the same, by contrast.

God granted mankind divorce because people are imperfect. Even the Bible mentions that, though it uses the phrase “hard hearted” or something.

You see the items below where the divorced women said they regret having been married because “they lost themselves” because they put everyone else first in the marriage, or where they said they lost their identity in their spouse and had no clue who they were? That is called codependency, and society and American Christianity teach women to be that way, they encourage women to be that way, and it is detrimental to women.

In churches, and on some blogs, books, sermons, and pod casts and sites by Christians, women will be told (usually under gender complementarianism teachings, or the title “biblical womanhood”), that it is proper, right, biblical, or “godly” for women not to get their own needs met; to always defer to their husband’s decisions; to let their spouse think for them and make choices for them; to always put the spouse and kids’ ahead of their own needs; and to lose themselves catering and serving to others.

Those beliefs may not always be spelled out so clearly as I put them there, but they are inherent, assumed, or implied in some Christian views about what is “appropriate” or “biblical” behavior for married Christian women (or even for single ones – I got brainwashed to hold those views and practice them since girlhood).

If you do that, if you follow that advice because you believe getting your own needs met, or disagreeing with a man, or saying no to anyone’s request for your time or money, is “selfish” or not being a “godly woman”, you will end up burnt out and filled with resentment in the future.

You can bank on that. Years spent always caring about other people and their needs, never standing up for yourself when your feelings are stomped on, and never nurturing yourself and going after what you want and need will end up leaving you exhausted, unhappy, unfulfilled, and resentful.

That Christians keep holding this up as a model for women to follow, and to further refer to it as “godly” or “biblical womanhood,” is demonic.

The Bible says woe to those who call good evil or evil good, but that is precisely what Christians do when they advise girls and women to be doormats to be used and abused and call it “biblical” Or “gender complementarianism” and insist that is how God designed women to operate and HOW God wants women to behave all the time. That is wrong, wrong, wrong.

If you are a woman who recognizes herself in any of that, please do yourself a favor and read the book “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend, and “The Disease to Please” by Harriet Braiker.

There are also many other wonderful books you should read about these topics, just do a search for the word “codependency” or the phrase “people pleasing” on internet bookstore sites to find the pertinent material. God does not want you to be a doormat and ignore your own needs constantly.

(Link): 11 Marriage Regrets From The Divorced

Excerpts.

    For most of us, moving on after divorce is easier said than done. You may cut ties with your ex and embrace life on your own, but thoughts of what you could have done differently always linger.

    Below, HuffPost Divorce readers share the biggest regret they have about their marriages, from walking the down the aisle in the first place, to giving decades of their life to their exes when they knew the relationship didn’t stand a chance.

    1. “I regret not realizing he was broken and that I couldn’t fix him.”

    2. “My biggest regret? Staying seven years and giving my all because that’s what I felt society expected of me. If both of us weren’t going to give it our all, it was never going to work. The last five years of being on my own have been vastly better than all 14 years of my marriage.”

    5. ” I should have left after he cheated on me the first time and not wasted so many years of my life with him.”

    6. “I regret all the red flags I ignored, beginning the day before the wedding when I didn’t have the guts to call it off. I regret being too trusting, too optimistic and too serious about my vows to realize I was not in a a viable relationship.”

    Continue reading “Eleven Marriage Regrets From the Divorced (from H. Post) -Also the No Divorce Rule by Christians is a Symptom of Holding Marriage as an Idol”