Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

The following is a podcast. The identical episode is available on several different hosts, including iHeart media, Apple, and I forget where all else.

I listened to this podcast, then went back and re-listened to the first ten or so minutes of it, but the podcast did not go into detail in explaining how this woman’s church enabled this (not that I recall), but I’ve seen enough over the years to guess why and how.

Most Christians, and I include church preachers in this, are ignorant about Cluster B personality disorders (under which Narcissism falls), so they actually expect women to stay married to individuals who lack empathy and/or a conscience- this is not a realistic, safe, sane, or compassionate response or perspective, by the way – most Christians, especially preachers, are huge morons on these topics.

(Not that secular culture is great at understanding these topics, either.)

There is currently no ‘cure’ for Cluster B personality disorders, and they are quite therapy-resistant (especially Narcissism and Anti-Social), so it’s quite unrealistic for Christians to instruct someone married to a “Cluster B” person to tell them to just “submit more” to the spouse, or to just “pray and trust the Lord” and to tell them divorce is always prohibited, no matter the situation.

Goodness knows that gender complementarian Christians don’t help matters, in that under the false, un-biblical “complementarian” or “biblical womanhood” teachings they love to spout off, they essentially ask or guilt trip  Christian girls and women into adopting Codependent, people pleasing behaviors, to lack boundaries, and to endure abuse or mistreatment.

However, the Bible teaches personal responsibility for each person and does not teach that God wants or expects girls or women to remain in abusive relationships, but to leave them and to avoid them in the first place, if possible.

God gave girls and women discernment and wisdom and expects them to use it – to high tail it out of abusive situations, for one thing, not sit there and put up with it, all because Pastor John Doe has a faulty interpretation of the Bible.

It’s not up to any girl or woman to “change” a man, nor is it possible, certainly not in the case of Cluster B personality disorders. Women are not the Holy Spirit. It is not up to women to sanctify a man. It is that man’s responsibility to fix his own problems.

It’s possible I am misunderstanding things, but by “enabling,” I think the lady interviewed (who was married to a Narcissistic Sociopath named John) seemed to be saying that she was living with John as boyfriend-girlfriend, and he manipulated her into marrying him by continually nagging her with the observation that she was “living in sin,” which her church would not approve of.

They, her church, would expect her to make things right by getting married, and not living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, seemed to be the point.

Her ex, John, was using her religious upbringing to manipulate her into marriage.

She said in the podcast that John asked her many, many times to marry him, but she kept saying “No,” until he finally wore her down, and she caved in.

(I could write a separate blog post on that!
I’ve run into several people via this very blog and/or this blog’s associated Twitter account, who kept pestering me and hounding me repeatedly OVER MONTHS (some were very nice about it) to befriend them further over Facebook or e-mail, they kept saying they wanted to get to know me better, even though I politely turned them down many times.

I finally blocked one guy who kept doing this; he would not respect my boundaries and take “no” for an answer, when he kept asking if we could be friends over e-mail.
I’ve since come to learn that this non-stop pestering and hounding after you’ve said “no” to the person many times (and no matter how friendly and nice they are being about it) is one indication that the person more than likely has a personality disorder, and they are to be kept at arm’s length.)

(Link – to iHeart host, 1.15 hour long): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same podcast episode, but located on Spotify): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same episode but on PodPlay): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

Sept 8, 2022

Today’s Guest overcame a tumultuous marriage with a narcissistic husband and the Church that supported his actions. Coming straight from a religious college and community, our Guest and her ex-husband met and were groomed by the Church to be together and get married.

After what she thought was the perfect pairing to the perfect man, and that they were going to change the world for the better, everything changed.

Continue reading “Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast”

They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud – Christians: Please Learn the Red Flags, Research Cluster B Personality Disorders

They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud – Christians: Please Learn the Red Flags, Research Cluster B Personality Disorders

Before I get to the links way below about a self-professing, devout Christian man who was allegedly swindling customers out of their very expensive purchases:

For any of you super trusting people out there – especially if you consider yourself kind, decent, empathetic and/or a Christian (though what I say below is also applicable to kind-hearted Non-Christians as well):

Please, please educate yourselves and accept reality.

There ARE people out there with what are called “Cluster B” personality disorders (such as NPD, malignant narcissism, or, they’re on the narcissism spectrum, or they are sociopathic or psychopathic) who cannot, or will not, have empathy (and on top of an empathy-deficit, sociopaths lack a conscience, too).

Not all of these Cluster B personality disordered persons are serial killers, as is often assumed(*) – but they all lack remorse and empathy and will use and abuse those in their paths, even their own spouses and family members! (*Some Cluster B personality disordered persons love to financially scam other people or financially exploit them, for instance.)

The primary drivers and motivations of Cluster B persons are control and dominance of other people.

These people can be your neighbor, sibling, parent, spouse, a friend, your boss, or a co-worker.

These dangerous persons can work as church pastors, doctors, school teachers, veterinarians, psychologists, therapists, plumbers, IT professionals, UPS delivery persons, mailmen, hair stylists – any and every occupation, even “care based,” charity based, or church ministry related ones!

These people have learned to “pass” as normal. They will pretend to be normal. Many will act as though they have compassion and empathy for others, but they do not.

Just because someone is working in a care-based occupation doesn’t mean they have empathy and are warm, nurturing, and have your best interest at heart.

Some narcissistic or sociopathic persons who work as therapists or as social workers INTENTIONALLY undermine their patients or others in their care. That’s one reason you must be careful when shopping around for a mental health professional, should you want to see one for treatment.

Some of these personality disordered persons will do things like say they are a “Jesus-follower,” a Christian, they will even volunteer for charity work, attend church regularly, and “play act the part” of loving, devoted Christ follower while simultaneously committing financial fraud (or other sins and crimes) against you or others.

And they do NOT CARE AT ALL how much it hurts your feelings or hurts you financially.

They are not sorry, and they never will be. They do not experience remorse or sorrow for how they hurt others.

Even the non-personality disordered abusive persons out there have very large entitlement attitudes, so their view on relationships is that being mean, lying, nasty, and controlling of or to you is getting THEIR needs met for them, their abusive behavior of you is working well for them, so why bother to care about you and your needs and how YOU are being hurt by them in the process?

They feel they have no reason to change for the better (this is from their perspective).

There is nothing you can do to fix, change, save, or help such persons (even most therapists agree such persons are beyond help or fixing), nor is it your responsibility to fix or change them.

Avoid them as much as possible. No amount of compassion, love, attention, pity, or empathy from you or someone else will change or fix such persons.

No amount of church attendance, Bible reading, or exposure to the Gospel or the teachings of Jesus will heal, change, or fix them.

This includes the marriage context: a wife being “more submissive” or “loving” towards a narcissistic or sociopathic husband will not “heal,” change, or fix the husband and cause him to stop hurting his wife.

Please do some research, and stop allowing people to take advantage of you! Look for the red flags.

Perhaps start out by reading books such as “The Sociopath Next Door” by Stout

(though, caution: in an otherwise very good and educational work, I think she sugar coats her descriptions of narcissism in her book too much – narcissists, especially at the moderate to high end of the spectrum, are essentially watered-down sociopaths, so far as I am concerned,
but, in her book, Stout makes narcissists sound more lovable, redeemable, reachable, and friendly than they actually are,
which contrasts what I’ve read in a lot of research by other mental health professionals and accounts by narcissistic abuse survivors who all specialize in the topic of narcissism),

or “Husband, Liar, Sociopath – How He Lied, Why I Fell for It & the Painful Lessons Learned” by O. N. Ward,
or “Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself” by Shahida Arabi.

There are many other books – and free online articles and videos – that describe all these issues.

Just because someone claims to be a Christian and acts really sweet, caring, and nice does NOT mean they will NOT abuse you financially, or will not abuse you physically, verbally, or sexually in private.

Because such people do exist, and they will abuse or exploit you.

Stop thinking the best of people, stop being so trusting, stop assuming that because someone talks favorably of Jesus that this must mean they are trust-worthy, and stop giving people third, fourth, and more chances if they’ve already hurt or lied to you twice!

Stop rationalizing their behavior, stop excusing it on the basis they told you they are having a bad day, they’re under stress, or they were abused as a child (whether they were or not still does not excuse their abusive or dishonest behavior).

Such attitudes and behaviors on your part, where you keep forgiving, pitying, trusting, and grant repeated chances and do-overs, is what enables alleged frauds like the guy in the article below to scam you in the first place.

I am not victim blaming anyone who has been abused or targeted by any of these abusers or scammers.

Here is where I am coming from:
I just want to pull my hair out in frustration in particular at how Christians, in their sermons, books, social media, blogs, and their attitudes, frequently encourage or pressure behaviors or attitudes in believers that encourage them to be very susceptible to attracting abusive people or con artists, or from eliminating them from their lives once they encounter them.

Christians are setting other Christians up to be attractive and easy targets and prey for sociopaths, narcissists, and other troubled and dangerous people.

Misguided Christian teachings about grace, forgiveness, compassion, helping one’s neighbor, turning the cheek, the “no divorce for any reason” teachings, and giving second chances, and Christian complementarians especially are really bad about this.

Christian gender complementarians promote “gender complementarianism,” where they strongly condition girls and women to adopt beliefs and actions that are indistinguishable from Codependency (ie, which includes things like lacking boundaries, being passive, etc), which makes girls and women reluctant to engage in perfectly healthy and normal actions, such as standing up to abusers or bullying behavior, and leaves them vulnerable from recognizing abusive behavior as being abusive in the first place.

Secular culture of course also re-enforces such harmful beliefs and behaviors in girls and women as well, via traditional gender stereotypes (see the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker for some examples; research by others has also been done in this area going back years with the same results being shown).

(Link): They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud

People around the country who have paid Matt Sowash thousands of dollars for the small dwellings after seeing him on TikTok say he never delivered on his promises.

by Sept 20, 2022

By Deon J. Hampton

DENVER — A man who had been convicted of bilking investors out of thousands of dollars and who professed his love for God while selling tiny homes online swindled homebuyers out of their life savings for dwellings that were never delivered, three alleged victims said in lawsuits filed in federal and state courts.

Developer Matt Sowash, founder of the Colorado-based nonprofit Holy Ground Tiny Homes, promoted the small residences on social media, including to his 80,000 TikTok followers, with short videos portraying an upbeat, God-fearing man selling the American Dream — affordable homes with financing and no credit checks.

“For people that can’t pay for a house all at once, we can finance you. Holy Ground Tiny Homes. Get yours today,” Sowash said in one TikTok video.

“Great house, available now, around $45,000 is what this goes for. Come in and take it away,” he said in another video, wearing a T-shirt adorned with “Faith Over Fear.”

Sowash said in an interview that he never set out to take advantage of homebuyers, but he’s not sure he’ll be able to build the 250 homes already paid for, in full or in part.

…A plaintiff in one of three lawsuits filed against Sowash said in an interview that the builder’s persuasiveness and Jesus-loving persona convinced her to part with her hard-earned cash.

“That’s part of what sold me. He’s charming, convincing and I believe in God,” said Clara Virginia Davis, 24, an elementary schoolteacher in upstate New York.

Continue reading “They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud – Christians: Please Learn the Red Flags, Research Cluster B Personality Disorders”

Half-Naked Lawyer Beat Ex-Wife to Death in Front of Children: Officials

Half-Naked Lawyer Beat Ex-Wife to Death in Front of Children: Officials

Contrary to what my fellow conservatives say, marriage and “the nuclear family” do not improve society or make people more loving, ethical, godly, or responsible.

I’m not arguing the opposite, by the way – I am not saying being single or childless makes a person more godly, ethical, etc.

But conservative beliefs that The Nuclear Family will somehow “fix” a broken society is based on pipe dreams – nor is it mentioned in the Bible that marriage is a cure for a sin-filled world.

The Bible does not prescribe marriage or parenthood as fixes for society. The Bible says that marriage detracts a person’s attention from God and helping others to a spouse (see 1 Corinthians 7).

Jesus said your allegiance as his follower was supposed to be him and other believers, not to a spouse or biological family. Jesus never married or had children.

Did being married and a father make this man more godly, ethical, moral, loving, and responsible? Nope.

(Link): Half-naked lawyer beat ex-wife to death in front of children: officials

by Michael Ruiz,
August 25, 2022

A North Dakota lawyer allegedly beat his ex-wife to death in Minnesota on Tuesday as she clung to the youngest of their five children and two others screamed for help, according to the Marshall County Sheriff’s Office.

The younger boy, 2, was so traumatized that he didn’t respond to questions from deputies after they had his father in custody and rushed his mother to the hospital.

Anders Odegaard, 31, and Carissa Odegaard, also 31, divorced last year, court records show.

In a custody dispute this week, he allegedly refused to let her take their kids to church and a fight broke out, deputies wrote in the criminal complaint after interviewing the children.

Continue reading “Half-Naked Lawyer Beat Ex-Wife to Death in Front of Children: Officials”

Woman Commits Suicide After Boyfriend Forced Her to Have 14 Abortions in 8 Years

Woman Commits Suicide After Boyfriend Forced Her to Have 14 Abortions in 8 Years

(Link): ABORTION HORROR Woman kills herself after ‘being forced to have 14 abortions in eight years by her partner’ as she leaves haunting note

July 15, 2022

A WOMAN has killed herself after her partner allegedly forced her to have 14 abortions over the course of their eight- year relationship.

The 33-year-old left a haunting suicide note, detailing the horror she suffered at the hands of her partner, police said.

(Link): Woman Commits Suicide After Boyfriend Forced Her to Have 14 Abortions in 8 Years

July 15, 2022
by Micaiah Bilger

Police in India said a 33-year-old woman committed suicide earlier this month, haunted by trauma and grief after her partner allegedly forced her to abort 14 of their unborn babies.

The Irish Sun reports the woman from Jaitpur, Delhi, India, left a suicide note explaining the abuse that she suffered for eight years, according to police.

Police said the woman accused her partner of forcing her to take abortion drugs 14 different times while she was pregnant with their unborn babies. Allegedly, she was having an affair with the man and living separately from her husband, the report states.

Continue reading “Woman Commits Suicide After Boyfriend Forced Her to Have 14 Abortions in 8 Years”

Pregnant Wife, 21, Left Fighting for Life with Full Body Burns After Enraged Husband Set Fire to Her ‘Because She Refused to Have an Abortion’

Pregnant Wife, 21, Left Fighting for Life with Full Body Burns After Enraged Husband Set Fire to Her ‘Because She Refused to Have an Abortion’

So much for marriage and parenthood making society or individuals better, more loving, responsible, and ethical! (As per the usual secular or religious conservative take on the matter.)

(Link): Pregnant wife, 21, left fighting for life with full body burns after enraged husband set fire to her ‘because she refused to have an abortion’

Aug 18, 2022
by Walter Finch

A five-month pregnant Lebanese woman with full body burns is fighting a ‘bleak’ battle for survival after her husband set fire to her because she refused to have an abortion.

Hana Mohammed Khodor, 21, was rushed to a hospital in Tripoli in critical condition after her husband, identified as AA, set her ablaze with a gas canister.

A doctor said that they had to operate to remove the fetus after it died and the mother’s chances of survival are ‘very bleak.’

The horrific attack is alleged to have started with AA viciously beating his young pregnant wife when she told him she wanted to keep their baby, due to be born in December.

Continue reading “Pregnant Wife, 21, Left Fighting for Life with Full Body Burns After Enraged Husband Set Fire to Her ‘Because She Refused to Have an Abortion’”

Pastor’s Wife Sentenced to Life in Prison for Convincing Lover to Murder Husband

Pastor’s Wife Sentenced to Life in Prison for Convincing Lover to Murder Husband

I think this is an update to a news story I posted about a month or two ago.

The wife claims that her pastor husband forced her to engage in a “menage a trois” with some other guy, she claims her husband was abusing her, and she got the third guy in the menage a trois to murder her spouse.

(Link): Pastor’s wife sentenced to life in prison for convincing lover to murder husband

August 12, 2022
By Ryan Foley, Christian Post Reporter

The wife of a slain Oklahoma pastor who admitted to collaborating with her lover to murder her husband was sentenced to life in prison Wednesday.

Pontotoc County Judge Steven Kessinger sentenced Kristie Evans to life in prison with the possibility of parole for her role in the March 22, 2021, murder of her husband, David, who served as pastor of Harmony Freewill Baptist Church in Ada.

Continue reading “Pastor’s Wife Sentenced to Life in Prison for Convincing Lover to Murder Husband”

“Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner

“Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner

Abuse comes in different types, not just in the physical form – abuse can be emotional, verbal, relational, sexual, or financial.

(Link): “Financial infidelity” is when a person hides or withholds money-related issues and decisions from their partner.

While many discuss sexual infidelity as a serious breach of trust, money-related cheating can sink relationships too.

by Arman Khan.
April 18, 2022

Vinod, a 38-year-old writer, believes that for some, love is a luxury and the price you’ve to pay for it could often be crushing. He said he learnt this the hard way when, nearly a decade before gay sex was decriminalised in India, his first boyfriend cheated him off money just because Vinod could not easily break off their relationship for the fear of crushing loneliness.

“He didn’t earn much and used to borrow money from me, which at first I thought was OK,” Vinod told VICE. “At first, he would tell me that he needed the money for commuting, food, buying clothes, paying bills, etc. But with time,  it became a habit for him to borrow without even batting an eyelid. I think somewhere down the line I got him used to it as well, which I shouldn’t have.”

Vinod would keep a note of how much money he was lending but when he started noticing how his boyfriend’s wallet would never emerge from his pocket, he started asking him where the money he lent him actually went.

Continue reading ““Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner”

Boyfriend Dies After His Skin ‘Melted Off’ When His ‘Girlfriend Sprayed Him with 50 Cents Worth of Gasoline’

Boyfriend Dies After His Skin ‘Melted Off’ When His ‘Girlfriend Sprayed Him with 50 Cents Worth of Gasoline’

Sometimes, it does pay to be single.

This woman is a sociopathic piece of garbage. I’m calling that from a distance. No, I don’t need to “be an expert” or have a psychology degree to arrive at this conclusion.

(Link): Boyfriend dies after his skin ‘melted off’ when his ‘girlfriend sprayed him with 50 cents worth of gasoline’

by Walter Finch
Aug 5, 2022

A woman has been charged with murder after ‘melting the skin off’ her boyfriend at a Texas gas station and driving away ‘smiling’.

Breana Johnson, 24, doused Ricky Doyle, 25, in petrol [gasoline] as he sat in the backseat of a Jeep and set fire to him after a row on July 18, according to the Arlington Police Department.

Doyle died on Tuesday in a Dallas-area hospital after a two weeks struggle for survival following the horrifying attack, prompting the Johnson’s aggravated assault charge to be upgraded to murder.

Doyle’s mother Lisa told NBCDFW how doctors said his foot ‘was the only part of his body I could touch. That’s all that was left.’

Continue reading “Boyfriend Dies After His Skin ‘Melted Off’ When His ‘Girlfriend Sprayed Him with 50 Cents Worth of Gasoline’”

The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time begun by R L Stollar

The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time the witch hunt was begun by R L Stollar

The “abuse survivor community” has taken their pitchforks out again, and again their pitchforks and torches are for journalist Julie Roys.

This time, the bullying is being carried out by a R L Stollar, a name I’ve seen on twitter off and on in the last few years.

I believe he originally began speaking out against harms caused by Christian homeschooling? Good on him for that (I mean that, that was not snark).

Beyond that, though, I’m not familiar with Stollar. He may have even tweeted a few things in the past I saw shared by others I follow on Twitter that I agreed with.

To Julie Anne (“Defend the Sheep” on twitter) – why are you  participating in this continued pile on?

(Edit: I believe Julie Anne “Liked” some of the comments in that thread, or I saw her share it on her Twitter account, which is how I became aware of it in the first place)

Why are you, Julie Anne, continuing to associate with people who behave this way?
I’m sorry if you feel that Roys did not credit you or friends of yours or whatever on older reportage she did (which she tried to discuss with you), but what is the deal with cozying up to the people singling her out every few weeks?

Anyway. Roys is being bullied online again, and this time it was started by Stollar.

Yes, I said “again” – see (Link): my previous post about this weird, disturbing anti-Roys obsession from the Amy Smiths, Ashley Easters, and other so-called abuse survivor advocates.

If you take note of this obnoxious behavior, as I did, (that is, noting their bullying and mob mentality where they target someone), some of them will erroneously misconstrue you as being a “Julie Roys Stan,” or use that as an ad hominem against you (see embedded tweets below for more on that).

Birth Control Movie

Now, the “abuse survivor community” is targeting Roys for having once appeared in a several years old (conservative created, I believe) movie about birth control and the sexual revolution.

I’ve not seen the movie they are referring to, but I did watch and listen to a clip of Roys presumably from the film (that clip located in a tweet by someone else here), and the comments Roys made were pretty conventional.

There was  nothing “far out” there by Roys in that clip, not unless, I suppose, you’re operating from a faulty, far left liberal paradigm, in which case pointing out that sexual behaviors with little- to- no boundaries can result in things like disease or other harmful ramifications will sound judgmental, fuddy duddy, and stodgy.

Speaking of which:

(Link): Monkeypox virus could become entrenched as new STD in the US – via ABC News (warning: auto-playing video file with audio on that page)

Excerpts:

The spread of monkeypox in the U.S. could represent the dawn of a new sexually transmitted disease, though some health officials say the virus that causes pimple-like bumps might yet be contained before it gets firmly established

By Mike Stobbe AP Medical Writer
July 22, 2022

… So far, more than 2,800 U.S. cases have been reported as part of an international outbreak that emerged two months ago. About 99% have been men who reported having sex with other men, health officials say.
— end excerpts —

Secular Criticisms of Birth Control and the Sexual Revolution

In the past year, a few secular books criticizing the consequences of the sexual revolution (including the role of the advent of birth control pills) have been published
(which I’ve blogged about here (Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong by Maria Albano) and here (The Sexual Revolution Has Backfired on Women by S. Moore),
so it’s not only those evangelicals all you hipster “Exvangelicals” despise pointing out the flaws and dangers with no-holds-barred sexual behavior.

In the past few years, more and more liberals and feminists have been speaking out about the excesses and harms of loose sexual behavior; these are just a couple of examples on my blog:

(Link): Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion by S. Greenberg – excerpts via New York Times

(Link): Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex

Progressives / Abuse Advocates Define Christianity to = Democrat Party, Progressive Values and Views

Many of the abuse advocates under consideration in this blog post I am discussing are politically driven (or some have left-leaning sympathies).

They conflate Christianity with leftism, progressive views, causes, and the Democratic Party, and reject anyone who doesn’t agree with all their socio-political views.

Here is my reaction to what got the ball rolling (tweet link – my comment – and here is a link to the original R L Stollar comment I was replying to):

Link to Tweet embedded below.

So this Stollar guy initially did a tweet with a link to this page (also linked to below, with excerpt) at Right Wing Watch – of course he did.

Does Stollar ever follow sites with names like “Left Wing Watch” (i.e., any accounts that are critical of progressive ideology?) – probably not.

Continue reading “The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time begun by R L Stollar”

Newlywed Pharmacist Beaten To Death on Honeymoon by Her New Husband

Newlywed Pharmacist Beaten To Death on Honeymoon by Her New Husband

Yeah… being single (even if you had wanted to be married or still hope to be) is not as bad as getting murdered by your spouse – and on your honeymoon, no less! Good lord!

I’d want to get married in part to have companionship, to have someone to cuddle on me as we lie on the couch together watching NetFlix – not to get beaten to death! Getting beaten to death (or at all) is not my idea of a loving, wonderful relationship.

Not sure if I am understanding the timeline correctly – but it looks as though they married in February of this year (2022) but didn’t take the honeymoon until July 2022 (?). But still, that’s pretty shocking and tragic.

This is yet another example of how, contrary to so many conservative marriage promoters propagandize, that marriage does not make a person more ethical, godly, or loving, responsible, nor, contrary to all the Christian (evangelical and Baptist) dating and marriage advice books and articles I saw growing up, does a person have to be godly, loving, or receive some state of perfection before God will allow a person to marry.

(Link): Newlywed charged with murdering wife on Fiji honeymoon calls it ‘accident’

Excerpts:

by Lee Brown
July 22, 2022

The Tennessee newlywed charged in the beating death of his wife on their honeymoon in Fiji is claiming it was an “accident,” according to his lawyer.

Bradley Robert Dawson, 38, is charged with murdering his pharmacist wife, Christe Chen, 36, whose body was found in an exclusive scenic Fiji resort in the Yasawa Islands on July 9, two days after checking in.

(Link): Newlywed husband escaped on a KAYAK to island 1.2miles away from $3,500-a-night honeymoon bungalow in Fiji where he ‘beat his pharmacist wife to death in bathroom’: Found 36hrs later and charged with her murder

by Amy Maas
July 21, 2022

A newlywed Memphis pharmacist was found beaten to death in the bathroom of her luxury honeymoon bungalow in Fiji – and her husband, now charged with her murder, used a kayak to flee to a small island 1.2 miles away, DailyMail.com can exclusively reveal.

Christe Jion Chen, 39, was found dead on July 9 at the secluded $3,500-a-night Turtle Island Resort in the Yasawa group of islands – the jewel in the South Pacific nation’s billion-dollar travel industry.

She had suffered multiple traumatic injuries to her body, and blunt force trauma to the head, according to a post-mortem exam report viewed by DailyMail.com.

Chen and her husband, Bradley Robert Dawson, 38 – who she married in February – had only checked into the resort two days earlier. He has since been arrested for her murder and is being held in prison in nearby Lautoka. His lawyer, Iqbal Khan, told DailyMail.com that his client denies the charges.

DailyMail.com has learned that the alarm was raised on July 9 when neither Chen or Dawson turned up to eat breakfast – their personal butler then went to the couples’ bungalow and found a ‘do not disturb sign’ on their door. They then failed to turn up to lunch, and at that point their butler – who personally cleans their bungalow – used a spare key to unlock the door.

The butler – known as a ‘House Papa’ – discovered Chen lying bloodied on the bathroom floor around midday.

Continue reading “Newlywed Pharmacist Beaten To Death on Honeymoon by Her New Husband”

Victim Blaming Codependents, or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors

Victim Blaming Codependents or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors

The concept of Codependency is not victim-blaming.

The concept of Codependency does not pathologize domestic abuse survivors,  targets of narcissistic abuse, or other victims of other types of abuse, contrary to a lot of online rhetoric I have seen, and I don’t care what psychiatrist with what degree behind his name has stated things like, “Codependency is victim blaming and pathologizing!” – that psychiatrist, despite his eight years in medical school, is wrong.

He is wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong.

I disagree with him entirely. And I do not have to have a medical degree to see where he’s wrong, and to know that he’s wrong.

I am a recovered codependent, and I remain astounded at people, especially therapists, psychologists, and abuse survivor advocates, who should know better, who never-the-less keep peddling this trope that the concept of Codependency is victim blaming, or it’s too broad in scope to be of much use.

(There are actually other mental health professionals out there who do not believe that Codependency is useless, too broad, or that it pathologizes anyone.)

A few months ago, when news stories about Anna Duggar were more prominent – she’s married to convicted child pornography user Josh Duggar, former reality television show star
– and then, a little later, when so-called abuse survivor advocates, such as Ashley Easter started commenting on that and victim blaming Anna Dugggar, and Amy Smith of Watchkeep began attacking journalist Julie Roys, I kept seeing these people, and others who follow them, showcase a very stunning misunderstanding of, or in some cases, a lack of awareness of, Codependency.

I may in the future do more posts – ones specific to Ashley Easter, Anna Duggar, and the Amy Smith – Julie Roys fiasco from months back – but for this post, I wanted to address this topic via at least two videos I saw on Dr. Ramani’s You Tube Channel.

Dr. Ramani is a psychologist who specializes in treating victims of narcissistic abuse.

I actually like Dr. Ramani quite a bit, and I’ve seen and listened to many of her videos. I like her on a personal level, and I think she’s quite astute.

I do  not feel comfortable being critical of someone who I usually agree with often, and who I find to be personable, but Dr. Ramani made a few comments in some of her videos here and there, pertaining to codependency, which I didn’t entirely agree with.

And no, I myself do not have to be a psychologist or have a mental health degree to form opinions or conclusions based upon what I hear and see!

While I do not have a mental health degree, I am college educated, and I did spend the past several years researching mental health topics. I did take psychology courses in college, but that is not what I earned my degree in.

So, I may not be an “expert” on mental health topics (in a degreed sense), but I am not an entirely uninformed person.

Continue reading “Victim Blaming Codependents, or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors”

Man Slit Wife’s Throat, Played Her Favorite Song and Held Her Hand as She Died: Police

Man Slit Wife’s Throat, Played Her Favorite Song and Held Her Hand as She Died: Police

(Link):  Man admits to killing wife, playing her favorite music and holding her hand as she died: police 

June 23, 2022

Florida police on Wednesday arrested a 21-year-old man in the brutal murder of his wife in their apartment.

Xichen Yang is charged with first-degree premediated murder and destroying the evidence in the death of his wife, Nhu Quynh Pham.

Officers responded to the couple’s Altamonte Springs apartment Wednesday where they found Pham in the bathtub with fatal stab wounds on her neck, according to a police report obtained by Orlando’s FOX 35.

Investigators were tipped off after Yang, who had not been showing up for work, allegedly told his employer he was upset his wife had burned his passport and he had committed an “unspeakable” act.

(Link): Man slit wife’s throat, played her favorite song and held her hand as she died: cops

Excerpts:

June 23, 2022
By Snejana Farberov

A Florida man has been arrested for murder after he allegedly confessed to slitting his wife’s throat — and then playing her favorite song and holding her hand as she bled to death in a bathtub.

Xichen Yang, 21, was taken into custody Tuesday on charges of first-degree murder and tampering with evidence in the brutal slaying of his wife, Nhu Quynh Pham, Altamonte Springs police said.

Police said that just before 9 a.m. Tuesday, officers were dispatched to an address in the 900 block of Ballard Street to conduct a welfare check.

When the officers entered the apartment, they found Pham lying in a “pool of blood” in the bathtub.

Continue reading “Man Slit Wife’s Throat, Played Her Favorite Song and Held Her Hand as She Died: Police”