The Many Ways Single People Are Treated Unfairly at Work by Bella DePaulo
(Link): The Many Ways Single People Are Treated Unfairly at Work by Bella DePaulo
Excerpts:
Is it okay to ask singles to cover for their married coworkers? What about paying singles less? In a pandemic, should singles be allowed to opt out even if they are not in a risk category?
I’ve been studying singlism for a long time. Sometimes I think I’ve heard all the stereotypes, all the unfair expectations, and all the examples of discrimination against single people, and nothing will surprise me. But then I get surprised all over again.
That happened when someone emailed me, a few months before the pandemic, to see whether I would answer some questions about singles in the workplace.
I’m not going to name him, but he is someone who has written a lot and whose thinking is taken seriously.
When I first read his questions, I thought he wasn’t serious. Maybe he was just trying to get a rise out of me. But no, he was serious.
First, I’ll list three of the questions I was asked, so you can take a look for yourself and see what you think.
Then I’ll share my answers.
I’m also adding one more question, not from the person who asked me the first three, about what is expected of single workers during the pandemic.
How Would You Answer These Questions?
#1 “A boss tells an employee, “You’re single. You don’t have to race home for your spouse or kids. Someone’s got to get this work done tonight, so it seems fair I ask you to stay late.” That boss might also use that rationale to have you travel on weekends, show up on holidays, even accept a transfer to some far-flung place. But isn’t that fair?”
What’s interesting about that question is that today, in the 21st century, people will ask it totally unselfconsciously and unapologetically.
That includes the most progressive and open-minded people, people in the intellectual vanguard, who would never in a million years see themselves as being unfair to other people.
Many people still don’t understand unfairness to single people — what I call (Link): singlism — so it is easier to explain by thinking about it in terms of prejudices we do understand.
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