The ‘Let’s Have Intercourse’ Song

The ‘Let’s Have Intercourse’ Song

(Link): Let’s Have Intercourse (song on You Tube)

Partial Lyrics:


I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

(Link): I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti


“Bachelor” contestant Ashley Iaconetti on why a girl can act sexy without, you know, having sex.

Apparently I can’t be a virgin because I have my belly-button pierced. Or because I live in New Jersey. Or because I kissed Chris Soules “like that” during my appearance on The Bachelor. During my time on the show, social media was flooded with absurd judgements and arguments as to why I couldn’t possibly be a virgin.

It’s been odd and frustrating to see people debate the status of my hymen (!) on Twitter — seriously, people, that’s what you’re using your time tweeting about? And many people don’t just doubt my claim, but flat-out declare I’m a liar.

….I believe a girl can be sexy without having sex.

Continue reading “I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti”

ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos

ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos / Lily News

(Link): ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem?


Past contestants say the show sometimes talks around sex in a way that feels exploitative

By The Lily News, Jan 6, 2019

Adapted from a story by The Washington Post’s Lisa Bonos.

Last night, this season of ABC’s “The Bachelor” premiered. Its lead is Colton Underwood: a 26-year-old former professional football player who, when he appeared on “The Bachelorette” this past summer, delivered an announcement that surprised many. He’s a virgin — and now, as he steps into the spotlight, ABC will not let us forget it for a moment.

Conversations with past Bachelor Nation virgins reveal the reality show and its spin offs often use wholesome things — such as virginity and the search for a husband and wife — as ways to talk about the more titillating aspects of dating, in ways that can feel exploitative.

Continue reading “ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos”

The Dating Project: A Documentary Movie About Singleness and Dating

The Dating Project: A Documentary Movie About Singleness and Dating

I saw one of the movie-makers for The Dating Project interviewed, and she says that this movie is promoting the idea that people start dating again.

The focus is on younger people, but I see this problem among folks over the age of 30 as well. If you are 30 or older now (as of April 2018) and grew up in a conservative Christian family or church, you were probably taught (and still taught) a bunch of dating concepts and ideas that have actually kept you single (see this post as an example).

I am over the age of 40 and have never married. I was engaged in my late 20s to my early 30s but broke up with my fiance. I have always wanted to be married, but I never found the right person.

As far as I could tell in seeing the interview with the woman film-maker of this dating movie, the assumption seems to be that being single is “second best” or weird.

Let me just say, as I’ve said many times on this blog, that on the one hand, while there is nothing wrong with being married or wanting to get married, that there is also nothing wrong with being single, and it is wrong to (Link): to denigrate singleness to promote marriage.

I’d like my desire for marriage to be respected, but at the same time, so long as I remain single, (Link): I’d also like myself and my singlehood status to be respected, not jeered, mocked, or put down by conservatives, who frequently shake their index fingers in the faces of singles like myself, and who write fear-mongering articles about how supposedly single life is so much more horrible than married life (see anything written by (Link): Bradford Wilcox or (Link): Mark Regnerus), all because they are worried about declining marriage rates.

I want to be married one day, and I don’t appreciate Christians telling me that my desire for marriage is “an idol” (for it is not), but I also do not appreciate Christians or secular talking heads on television news stations shaming singles for being single and for making singleness sound as though it’s a disease one should be ashamed of having.

Many times, conservatives (of which I am one) assume, quite wrongly, that any one who is single past the age of 30 is single deliberately. Especially if one is a single female past age 30, Christian talking heads will write blog posts or opine on television news programs that such women must have put career over marriage, or they are harpies who hate men – but this is usually not the case.

As a right wing (conservative) woman who always desired marriage, I find myself single by circumstance, not due to choice. I did not put career above dating or marriage, and so on and so forth. I find such assumptions, which are often held by other conservatives and by many Christians, deeply insulting and ask my fellow conservatives to stop making such assumptions.

The Dating Project Movie

Here are some links to articles about The Dating Project movie (a movie which I’ve only read a little bit about, I have not seen it yet):


(Link):  From hook-ups to romance, ‘The Dating Project’ explores the one thing we all want

(Link):  BC Professor Says Traditional Dating Has Deteriorated 

(Link):  Dating 101: Film takes aim at America’s hookup culture and the death of courtship


The shock of reading Laura Sessions Stepp’s 2007 book, “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both,” hadn’t worn off when I was offered the opportunity to view an advanced screening of “The Dating Project,” a film about modern relationships that will be released nationwide—for one night only—on April 17. Both are a wake-up call for Americans, many of whom are in the dark about how dramatically dating has changed.

So dramatically, in fact, that it no longer exists. Dating is officially dead.

Continue reading “The Dating Project: A Documentary Movie About Singleness and Dating”

Hollywood Plays Around With Virginity by B Bozell

Hollywood Plays Around With Virginity by B Bozell

(Link): Hollywood Plays Around With Virginity

    Back in the 1950s, C.S. Lewis saw chastity as under attack with “all the contemporary propaganda for lust that makes people “feel that the desires we are resisting are so ‘natural,’ so ‘healthy,’ and so reasonable, that it is almost perverse and abnormal to resist them.”

    You can now safely delete the word “almost.”

    Today virginity isn’t a virtue but a burden. Chastity is a freak show and anyone who chooses to keep it is a carnival barker.

    Continue reading “Hollywood Plays Around With Virginity by B Bozell”

Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice by K. Yoder

Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice

Some of the criticisms the author of this piece levels at secular culture should also be applied to Christian culture – Christians too uphold the stereotypes that one does not become a full fledged adult until one gets married and has sex. Hollywood just ditches the “get married first” aspect and goes right to the sex, but neither view is biblical, true, or right.

(Link) Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice by K Yoder

    SPECIES: The Virgin (Sexus Nontilnuptials)

    PREDATOR: The Media (Sexus Perpetual Obsessicus)

    METHOD OF ATTACK: Exploitation and Extinction

    Peer through a leafy curtain deep in the Amazon and you might just catch a glimpse of an elusive specimen: “the virgin.”

    Though rare, this foreign species manages to survive in some of the world’s most hostile ecosystems, constantly threatened by its natural enemy, the media. The media preys upon virgins for profit and mere entertainment – to dismiss them as soon as they conform.

    Seen through the field glasses of Hollywood’s “Very Good Girls,” or MTV’s “Virgin Territory,” the virgin differs from “the human.” Humans “come-of-age” and “find themselves.” Virgins resist the examples of oversexed celebrities and an instant gratification culture – enhancing their mysterious allure, and making them just plain weird.

    Here are the 10 ways media treat virgins as a foreign species:

    1. Virgins Never Grow-Up

    “Very Good Girls” stars Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen as best friends who make a pact to lose their virginity before heading off to college. Opening in theaters July 25, the film bills itself (with some help from the media) as a “coming-of-age” story. As the trailer revealed: “When we lose our innocence, we have to find ourselves” – sounds like a story that every adult can relate to (right?).

    “It’s a part of life,” Fanning said in an interview after stripping for her first sex scene. Boyd Holbrook, who played her partner, emphasized, “What this film’s about is going into life, this first sexual experience.”

    The media provided back-up. “It’s this coming-of-age story of two young girls” that’s “dealing with those things that are universal, that we all deal with: friendship, family, death, love, heartbreak,” HuffPost Live Host Alyona Minkovski gushed during an interview with the writer and director, Naomi Foner.

    Similarly, Wall Street Journal Live Anchor Tanya Rivero praised the “beautiful film.” “You explore that time in a young woman’s life, between girlhood and becoming a woman,” she told Foner. “As a woman, I identified so closely with the characters and that period in life.”

    Even Foner described her characters as, “serious, interesting, committed girls who are trying to make some decisions about how they become women.” Women will flock to see the film, she added, because they “don’t often see themselves with any reality on screen.”

    Missing is any acknowledgement that girls may become women without the sex act, or that it just might be a good idea wait until marriage.

    2. Virgins Occupy a Different Habitat

    …But how exactly surprising?

    Fox News’ Dr. Keith Ablow criticized how the show, “turns a personal life event into profit” while Variety’s Brian Lowry warned in his review that, “some networks will pimp kids out — under cover of sex education — to score ratings.”

    Continue reading “Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice by K. Yoder”

Christian Movie About Virgin Engaged Couple Called “The Virgins”

Christian Movie About Virgin Engaged Couple Called “The Virgins”

How strange we’re living in a culture that mocks virginity, yet they’re also pretty freaking obsessed by it. Here’s yet another movie (Christian produced) about virgins.

(LinK): ‘The Virgins’ Are On Their Way

    Matt Wilson never stopped wanting to make a movie about Christians. Just not a ‘Christian’ movie.

    Kenneth R. Morefield/ JULY 18, 2014

    …. That was three years ago, and Wilson is now ready to share his new feature, The Virgins, with the world. The comedy, about Christian newlyweds who are thwarted by comic circumstances in their attempts to consummate their marriage, is streaming via several web services, starting today (July 18). The Virgins stars Blake Webb and Sonya Davis as the newlyweds; Wilson is credited with writing, directing, and editing.

    …When asked how The Virgins differs from other Christian movies, Wilson said that “most Christian films are trying to show you why you should become a Christian, but I’m trying to show you what being a Christian is like.” He then adds, “Most of all, I’m trying to make you laugh.”

Related posts:

(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming

(Link): ‘Old Fashioned’: Your Christian-Friendly, Kink-Free Alternative to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

(Link): Goodbye to romance: Are rom-coms worse than porn? (How Hollywood Feeds Into People’s Tendency to Idolize Marriage and Turn a Spouse Into a Deity)

(Link): Sex, movies and the desperate attempt to shock audiences. (Hint: it’s not working.) by A. Hornaday

(Link): Virgin Shaming: Hollywood’s Attack on Purity (by B. Bowen)

(Link): Christian Hollywood Rorschach – seeing Jesus in every single show, movie, or fictional character

(Link): Movie About Female Virginity – The To Do List – released July or August 2013

Eight Movies About Characters Vowing To Lose Their Virginity

8 Movies About Characters Vowing To Lose Their Virginity

(Link): 8 Movies About Characters Vowing To Lose Their Virginity

The article begins with this line, which I disagree with:

    Our society already places a lot of importance on virginity….

No, it doesn’t. American society, including Christian culture, mocks and ridicules virginity and says it’s not a big deal. Secular society treats virginity as though it’s a disease one needs to get rid of pronto.

Here’s some more from the article:

    Our society already places a lot of importance on virginity, and it often talks out of both sides of its mouth.

    On the one hand we judge teens who lose it only to face consequences like pregnancy, and then we focus an MTV reality show on it. On the other hand, once you get past a certain age without having sex, you’re looked upon as strange, and then we focus an MTV reality show on it. You’re shamed if you do and you’re shamed if you don’t, whether it’s by parents or peers or pop culture. No wonder young people are so angsty.

    Hollywood itself is already obsessed with sex — ahem, Fifty Shades of Grey, ahem — so it makes sense that virginity would factor into that obsession.

    But virgins can’t just go about their lives not worrying about when their first time is going to happen.

    Hence the plot is often driven by their attempts to lose said virginity.

    And often that comes in the form of a pact. They make the pact either with themselves or with their friends, and sometimes it’s even reversed and characters vow to take virginity rather than lose it. It’s quite the cliche, and it’s been around for decades, but that doesn’t mean Hollywood is done with it. Here are just eight examples of the “OMG I have to lose my virginity ASAP or else everyone will think I’m a monster!” plot.

Visit their page to see the list of movies
Related posts:

(Link): ‘Old Fashioned’: Your Christian-Friendly, Kink-Free Alternative to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

(Link): Goodbye to romance: Are rom-coms worse than porn? (How Hollywood Feeds Into People’s Tendency to Idolize Marriage and Turn a Spouse Into a Deity)

(Link): Sex, movies and the desperate attempt to shock audiences. (Hint: it’s not working.) by A. Hornaday

(Link): Virgin Shaming: Hollywood’s Attack on Purity (by B. Bowen)

(Link): Christian Hollywood Rorschach – seeing Jesus in every single show, movie, or fictional character

(Link): Movie About Female Virginity – The To Do List – released July or August 2013

‘Old Fashioned’: Your Christian-Friendly, Kink-Free Alternative to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

‘Old Fashioned’: Your Christian-Friendly, Kink-Free Alternative to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Yeah. And so many conservative Christians (and goodness knows the more liberal ones) insist that Christians are obsessed with virginity or make virginity an idol? No, no they don’t – the church is obsessed with SEX. Another piece of evidence:

(Link): Make Chaste: How the Faith-Based Counterpart to 50 Shades of Grey Came to Be

As a chaste single, who was totally Christian until about a year ago, I have little to no interest in seeing this movie. And I’m the target demo, supposedly (unless they are aiming only for 20 year old virgins and nobody over age 30?)

More links about the film:

(Link): New film “Old Fashioned” is 50 Shades of Grey for Christians, claims its creator

    Rik Swartzwelder says the movie – which will be released simultaneously with its rival – is more spiritual than sexual – a love story without BDSM

(Link): Faith Based Romance “Old Fashioned” Battles 50 Shades of Grey on Valentine’s Day

(Link): ‘Fifty Shades’ to be Challenged by Faith-Based Romance

(Link): Old Fashioned: 50 Shades of Grey without BDSM

(Link): ‘Old Fashioned’: Your Christian-Friendly, Kink-Free Alternative to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’


    If the (very tame) trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey made you clutch your pearls in horror, there’s a movie for you: Old Fashioned, a Christian romance opening against the bondage flick.

    Did you watch the new trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey and immediately think to yourself, “That looks okay, I guess, but instead of a parade of seductive stares, bondage, and Beyoncé, I’d much rather go see a chaste, Christian-friendly love story on Valentine’s Day next year?”

    If that was somehow you, your prayers have been answered.
    Variety reports that Freestyle Releasing, which distributed the successful anti-atheism, Duck-Dynasty-stars-featuring film God’s Not Dead, is serving up a Christian-friendly alternative to the kink and glamour of the Fifty Shades of Grey film adaptation.

    The indie flick—titled Old Fashioned — is also set for release on Valentine’s Day 2015, and follows the romance between a reformed frat bro and free-spirited lady.

    Freestyle co-president Mark Borde says the film specifically targets the “underserved” Christian-singles community. “Chivalry makes a comeback,” reads the film’s tagline.

    “I wanted to tell a love story that takes the idea of godly romance seriously,” Rik Swartzwelder, writer, director, and star, told Variety.

Related posts:

(Link): Goodbye to romance: Are rom-coms worse than porn? (How Hollywood Feeds Into People’s Tendency to Idolize Marriage and Turn a Spouse Into a Deity)

(Link): Sex, movies and the desperate attempt to shock audiences. (Hint: it’s not working.) by A. Hornaday

(Link): Virgin Shaming: Hollywood’s Attack on Purity (by B. Bowen)

(Link): Christian Hollywood Rorschach – seeing Jesus in every single show, movie, or fictional character

(Link): Movie About Female Virginity – The To Do List – released July or August 2013

New TV Show from MTV – “Virgin Territory” – about people who are not having sex

New TV Show from MTV – “Virgin Territory” – about people who are not having sex
Notice from Christian Pundit blogger: There is coming a time when I will either not be blogging as frequently or not at all. Please read more about that here in this post (Link): Blog Break – May 2014 – and List of This Blog’s Best or Most Relevant Posts
Notice that some of the young people interviewed on the pages below, who say they are virgins, said they are CHOOSING to stay virgins until they marriage.

They made a CHOICE to refrain from having sex. They still have sexual desires and so forth; God did not wave a magic wand and remove their desires.

Some of the young people identify as (or imply they are) Christians – they say they are abstaining due to “religious” reasons (of course, they could be Jewish or some other religion).

I bring this point up because a lot of Christians make false assumptions, such as, nobody is capable of controlling their sexual urges.

Many conservative Christians act as though having pre-marital sex is inevitable, which is one reason so many of them advocate something called “early marriage” where they believe Christian kids should get married before they hit age 25.

Still other Christians erroneously assume if you are a Christian and a virgin past the age of 30, it must be because God gave you the GOS (Gift of Singleness).

Why is this a problem? Because the underlying (and again, this is incorrect) assumption by Christians and preachers is that adults who have GOS (by mere fact they’ve never married and not had sex by age 30) had their sexual drive removed supernaturally by God. Nowhere does does the Bible teach that God removes the libido from an unmarried, virginal adult. Nowhere.

People such as myself who are virgins over the age of 30 practice self control and use willpower; we still have sexual desire. Celibate adults are not the same thing as Asexuals, but Christians are always confusing the two.

Without further ado, here are the links about the new MTV program about virginity:

(Link): MTV debuts show about group of 20-something virgins

    July 12, 2014

    The media glorify sex, especially when targeting young people.

    MTV’s new docu-series “Virgin Territory” focuses on a range of 20-something virgins as they grapple with deciding when, if not as soon as possible, would be the right time to alter their status. The series premieres Wednesday at 11 p.m. EDT.

    “I am a virgin,” one of the show’s subjects, 22-year-old Dominique Sullivan, told reporters Friday at the summer TV critics’ tour. “In the media you don’t see that many virgins at all. We don’t get much sunshine. We get a lot of flak. We can still have fun — but we can also save ourselves.”

    Alongside her on the panel was Lisa Youngerman, who was no less prepared for the obvious question: Why did you agree to be on this reality show?

    “I waited until I was married to have sex,” said the 23-year-old Youngerman, who said her religious faith played a strong role in her waiting. “I wanted young girls and young men to see that this is a possible decision.”

    Continue reading “New TV Show from MTV – “Virgin Territory” – about people who are not having sex”

Virgin Shaming: Hollywood’s Attack on Purity (by B. Bowen)

Virgin Shaming: Hollywood’s Attack on Purity
Don’t forget, I may not be blogging as much or as often in the future, if at all.
See this link (Link): [Blog Break] for more info.

I’ve been writing about Single-, Virgin-, and Celibate- Shaming on this blog long before The Christian Post brought it up.

But to the guy who wrote this? Christians are heavily into virgin-shaming these days, see several of the posts linked to at the bottom of this post under the heading “Related posts at this blog”

If you are operating under the assumption it is only Hollywood, secular or theological liberals, or secular feminists who are into virgin-shaming and anti sexual purity screeds, think again – Christians are also attacking virginity and virgins themselves. Christians are also highly critical of sexual purity these days.

(Link): Virgin Shaming: Hollywood’s Attack on Purity – by Barry Bowen, from The Christian Post


    … Virginity has long been a subject of jokes in movies and TV shows. This crude humor has been described as “virgin shaming.”

    On The Student Room website a commenter named dosvidaniya posts:

    Then, why do we still ridicule men so much for being sexually inexperienced? We all know that the ageing male virgin is an object of cultural ridicule. I mean, how many times have you heard a guy insulted (particularly on the internet) for being a ‘pathetic virgin’? Probably several thousand times.

    Hollywood mocked the aging male virgin in the 2005 movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

    …Virgin shaming has even attracted the attention of Buzzfeed where Hunter Schwartz notes the religious implications:

    Like slut-shaming, virgin-shaming involves making fun of someone for their personal choices regarding sex. But while slut-shaming has become increasingly frowned upon, virgin-shaming remains fairly acceptable, and can be a form of veiled religious bigotry. (emphasis added)

Bowen ends by saying:

    My limited experience with virgin shaming taught me that Christians should be pro-active in defending the choice of abstinence.

Well, I’m sorry Barry, but that is just not so. Christians today, like Non Christians, are attacking and criticizing the concepts of staying a virgin until marriage and practicing celibacy.
Related posts on this blog:

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming

(Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): Sex, Love & Celibacy by Christian Author Dan Navin

(Link): Joshua Rogers of Boundless / Focus on the Family Attacks Biblical Teaching of Virginity Until Marriage

(Link): Pat Robertson says ‘Virginity Has Nothing To Do With Marriage’ and Says (Paraphrasing) ‘Virginity Was Fine For Mary But Not Applicable For Any Other Christians’

(Link): I thought Christians “worshipped” virginity? Guess not: TLW (True Love Waits) Spokesman Says TLW Will NOT “Elevate Virginity” – Life Way to Relaunch “True Love Waits” Campaign

(Link): Editorial about Celibacy by Ed Shaw

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group (CBMW) Anti Virginity and Anti Sexual Purity Stance (At Least Watered Down) – and their Anti Homosexual Marriage Position

(Link): Sometimes Shame Guilt and Hurt Feelings Over Sexual Sins Is a Good Thing – but – Emergents, Liberals Who Are Into Virgin and Celibate Shaming

(Link): More Virgin and Celibate Shaming in Article: How the New Abstinence Movement is Trying to Reshape Our Views on Sex (from Relevant Magazine) Another Christian Anti Virginity Hit Piece – Fornicators Need To Repent of Their Pride in their Fornication Testimonies Maybe?

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link): Virgin – and Celibate – Shaming : Christian Double Standards – Homosexuals Vs Hetero Singles – Concerning Thabiti Anyabwile and Gag Reflexes

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity (they attack both concepts)

(Link): Celibate Shaming from an Anti- Slut Shaming Secular Feminist Site (Hypocrisy) Feminists Do Not Support All Choices

(Link): Christian TV Show Host Pat Robertson Disrespects Virginity – Says Pre-Marital Sex Is “Not A Bad Thing”

(Link): Hypocrisy From The ‘No Slut Shaming’ Crowd by C. Nance

(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)

(Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Gift of Singleness Gift of Celibacy Unbiblical – Those Terms and Teachings Contribute to Fornication / Editorial About Sex Surrogates

(Link): Christians Speaking Out of Both Sides of Their Mouths About Sexual Sin – Choices and Actions and How You Teach This Stuff Has Consequences

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Regarding the post “Abstinence is unrealistic and old fashioned” at The Matt Walsh Blog vis a vis Stuff Christian Culture Likes group

(Link): Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners

(Link): Slut Shaming and Virgin Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic

Living Myths About Virginity

I notice that this page goes on quite a bit about people’s bodies and the physical act, but says nothing about emotional effects of sex or possible emotional ramifications of having sex.

It’s an interesting read, but I’m not sure I agree with all of its implications – there is some subtle virgin shaming going on here, suggesting that sex should be thought of as fun, so you should get right to it, and don’t worry about it.

I’m not saying people should fear sex or dread it or be legalistic about it, but, there are people who willfully choose to abstain from sexual activity, at least until they marry, due to personal or religious conviction, and I believe that should be respected.

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity


    Vacuums of reliable information and sexism in popular culture can have serious consequences for women’s health.

… Through interviews with historians, abstinence advocates, sex educators, and self-described virgins and non-virgins alike, Shechter learned she’s not the only one who had certain ideas about what sex is supposed to be like.

There are a number of pervasive and loaded myths about virginity: That having sex for the first time will be an irreversible transformation that changes your body and mind; that there’s a “right” way to lose your virginity, and how you lose it will affect the rest of your life; that it’s going to be the most pleasurable, magical feeling; that it’s going to be the most painful experience of their lives.

These myths persist in part because of a lack of information about what happens to the human body, specifically the hymen, during sex—information that’s often not taught in schools, that’s not always found online, and that’s not always available from medical providers.

“I’ve spoken to lots of women who are just terrified of having sex because they think it’s going to be this horrible pain and [they’ll] bleed gallons of blood,” says Shechter, whose documentary makes its broadcast premiere on February 8 on the Fusion Network and is airing in cities across the U.S. and internationally in coming months.

Abstinence-only education in U.S. schools isn’t to blame for creating these myths, but Shechter and Green say the programs, which have received more than $1.5 billion dollars and counting in federal funding since 1996 despite mounting research about their ineffectiveness, do create environments where this kind of misinformation thrives. (Even some schools with more comprehensive programs, Green notes, are guilty of getting the facts wrong, too.)

Abstinence-only education promotes marriage as the proper venue for sexual activity and the only prevention method for STDs and pregnancy—it doesn’t offer information about how, once someone becomes sexually active, to make sure sex isn’t painful or how to avoid the kind of bleeding Green talks about.

(Fewer than half of all women bleed during the first time they have sex; they can bleed a little or a lot, or not at all, and it can be painful or painless. There’s a range of experiences that vary from individual to individual and depend on factors like use of lubrication and levels of arousal.)

Reliable information is out there, but it doesn’t always find its way to young women (or men) who could benefit from it.

Kiki Zeldes, a senior editor of Our Bodies, Ourselves, the landmark book about women’s health and sexuality published by a Boston-based non-profit, says the Internet can often lead astray young women looking for answers.

Continue reading “Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic”

Strange Show Called “Sex Sent Me To the E.R.” – episode about 440 Pound Virgin

Strange Show Called “Sex Sent Me To the E.R.” – episode about 440 Pound Virgin

I was looking at the TV Guide trying to find something to watch, and I saw this show listed (I’ve never seen it before):

Sex Sent Me to the E.R.

    More about the showSeason 1 Episode 1
    A 440-pound virgin sends his girlfriend through a wall; a bandleader collapses in the middle of a peak performance; a broken penis.

It’s on the TLC channel.

I’m watching the show now. The doctor is interviewing the guy with a broken penis.

Now the show has moved on from Broken Penis Guy to Fat Guy.

It appears to be kinda a reality show and kinda not.

At least one guy they’re interviewing is thin now, but he’s talking about when he was a 440 pound virgin. They then show a flashback of a 440 guy. So I’m assuming that some re-enactment is going on here.

Okay, they are now back to discussing Broken Penis Guy and are on a commercial break. I don’t plan on watching anymore of this show. You can watch clips of it here, if you want:

(Link): Sex Sent Me To the E.R.

(Link): The 440 Pound Virgin Guy
Related posts (yes, I’ve been doing this blog long enough now I have other examples of dangerous sex):

(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link): Couple Fall To Death Having Sex Against Window

(Link): Slut Shaming and Virgin Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

Mtv is Not Birth Control (articles) – Study Claims Mtv Show About Teen Parenthood Reduces Teen Pregnancy Rates

Mtv is Not Birth Control (articles)

(Link): MTV’s ‘16 and Pregnant’ helped reduce teenage birthrate, study says

(Link): MTV’s ‘16 and Pregnant,’ Derided by Some, May Resonate as a Cautionary Tale

(Link): Study, UNF Professor Agree, MTV Affecting Teen Pregnancy Rates

(Link): So MTV reduces teen pregnancy. Why are we surprised?

(Link): Mtv Is Not Birth Control

    The expressive view of culture helps explain why despite massive increases in depictions of violence and sex across every possible mode of expression over the past several decades, all indicators of problematic social behavior has declined. If popular culture really compelled us to act one way or another, that couldn’t be true. In fact, there is essentially no direct effect of a given show or song on us in terms of any particular behavior. The fault (or the credit) lies not in our TV shows but in ourselves.

    This is true even for teens, where arrests for violent crime are half of what they were 20 years ago and where teen sexual activity continues to drop. Despite easy access to ubiquitous and free online porn, only around 43 percent of girls and 42 percent of boys engage in sex before graduating high school.

    In 1988, the corresponding percentages were 51 percent and 60 percent.

    As Kearney and Levine themselves note, the teen birth rate—around 29 girls per 1,000 between the ages of 15 and 19 give birth—is about half of what it was two decades ago. The decline is even more pronounced if you start the trend line four or more decades back.)

Related Posts:

(Link): Students Discuss Dissatisfaction with “Hookup Culture” [Casual Sex, Fornication, Pre Marital Sex]

(Link): Today’s College Girls Explain Why They Are By-Passing Relationships To Be Big Ol’ Whores (partly because guys are man-whores) (Article)

(Link): Article: Not All College Women Whores, Just the White Wealthy Ones

(Link): The Trivialization of Sex (a post by A. Hamilton)

The Lock In – Bizarre Anti Porn Film By Christians

The Lock In – Bizarre Anti Porn Film By Christians

This sounds like it’s going to be really lame, not stop anyone from using porn, and make evangelicals look like laughingstocks. I do not support porn, but this movie sounds feeble and ridiculous.

(Link): Christian Teens Terrorized by Demon After Bringing ‘Dirty Magazine’ to Church Lock-In in Anti-Porn Film

    ‘The Lock In,’ Premiering January 2014, Takes on ‘Growing Epidemic’ of Porn Addiction

    December 17, 2013|4:08 pm

    A new “found footage” horror film called “The Lock In” from Holy Moly Pictures takes on pornography consumption and addiction — what producers call “a growing epidemic in the church community” — by linking the dangers of porn consumption to demonic activity.

    The movie, shot in a style made popular by cult classic independent film “The Blair Witch Project,” focuses on three teens who take a pornographic magazine to an overnight church lock-in as a joke. The only trouble is, the joke turns into a nightmare, and not just for them, but for the other youths participating in what should have been a fun bonding event.

    80% of Christians below the age of 29 are fornicating: GOOD
    80% of Christians below the age of 29 are fornicating: GOOD
    …According to a 2009 report by Focus on the Family, “an estimated 28,258 people every second, mostly men (72 percent) but also women (28 percent) view pornography.” The report also noted that Christians were not immune from porn consumption, revealing that 45 percent of Christians have said pornography was a big problem in their homes.

    In addition to being entertaining, the producers, Christian comedian Rich Praytor and Beverly Banks, say they want “The Lock In” to be used “as a tool for conversations about the dangers of pornography and the importance of being aware.”

    Continue reading “The Lock In – Bizarre Anti Porn Film By Christians”

Movie About Female Virginity – The To Do List – released July or August 2013

Movie About Female Virginity – The To Do List

Hollywood is not usually known for treating virginity – or virgins – with respect.

I have so far only read one review of “The To Do List.” It’s a film set in the early 1990s about a teen-age girl who creates a list of several sexual acts she wants to experience before heading off to college.

If I understand the one review I’ve read so far correctly, she thinks losing one’s virginity is a necessary step in becoming an adult.

I can tell you as an adult virgin a bit over 40 that it is not.

I’d like to pause here to make an observation about the common stereotype that virgins over the age of 25 – 30 are immature in some fashion. Maybe some are, but it does not follow that virginity makes one immature, childlike, or repressed.

I have seen married people who presumably had sex with their spouse on their wedding night who went on to act immature.

Golf player Tiger Woods is one example. The man had one or two children with his wife, but spent a few years boinking 20 or more mistresses, which is not only immoral behavior, but smacks of a high school jock type entitlement view, or college frat boy view.

Charlie Sheen, the television and movie actor, has been married once or twice and has fathered at least one child. Yet, it has been reported that he’s slept around, has hired prostitutes, and he admits to being a drug user. Those are not the marks of maturity or stability in my book.

Historically, there is John F. Kennedy, who though married to Jackie O. and father to a few children by her, had numerous affairs with movie actresses.

Non-virgins are not always more mature, worldly, socially savvy, knowing, or more sophisticated than virgins.

I have seen one or two positive reviews for this film, but most reviewers think it’s terrible, terrible because the characters are awful and the comedy lame and vulgar – they don’t find it terrible because Hollywood film-makers are, once again, depicting virginity as a disease that needs to be cured. They don’t dislike it on that basis.

After having read several more reviews of this movie, I’ve learned that the big take away message the film tries to send female audience members is that ‘sex is not always a big deal.’

I’m not sure I agree with that premise altogether, though I’m starting to get to the point where I have questioned some Christian beliefs, attitudes, or assumptions – better words and phrases might be “cliches” or “urban legends” – about sex.

In some ways, I feel that Christians make way too much of sex, or are guilty of propagating their own sexual propaganda, such as telling teens that any and all sex you have outside of marriage will end in unintended pregnancy or AIDS.

But I’ve seen untold numbers of Christians admit on TV, both male and female, that they slept around repeatedly as teens and 20 somethings, but never got pregnant, never fathered a kid, never got AIDS or other STDs.

There are a few other urban myths Christians like to spread about sex, such as: “if you have pre-marital sex, you will never land a decent spouse later in life,” or, “if you wait for marriage for sex, the sex will be great.” I’ve seen numerous examples that belie both those falsehoods too.

But, I’m not on board with all of secular culture’s views on sex, either. They continue to get some views wrong.

As to the review that follows, I’m not sure if I agree with the gender role pigeon-holing this LaSalle guy engages in: he insists it’s ten times harder for a male virgin to find a willing sexual partner than a female one. I do not fully agree.

For a female to want to give up her virginity, almost any man will do the task, that is true, because it seems to me, based on years of observing how men act, most men have terrible sexual morals (though some women do as well) and would be willing to have sex with a chair, though even these guys – the not so attractive to downright ugly – fantasize about, or feel entitled to, an Angelina Jolie clone.

The problem is, most women would prefer to lose their virginity to a good looking, nice, accomplished, witty man. Most men are not good looking, charming, accomplished, and so on.

In other words, most women would prefer to give it up for a smooth Brad Pitt clone, but the Brad Pitts of the world are rare, and the ones that exist are already taken (by Angelina Jolie clones), or are hard to find.

Most women wouldn’t want to give it up for a Barney Fife clone, but there are Fifes everywhere, and of course, most Fifes would be willing to have sex with any female ranging from very unattractive, to average, to great looking.

So, if you are a female who is choosy about whom she has sex with for the first time (or the 100th time, for that matter), no, you do not, contrary to this first review by LaSalle, have your pick of the litter.

Women cannot just have sex with whomever they please, unless they have zero standards and would be willing to boink the toothless, homeless, reeking- of- alcohol, bum on the street.

Movie Poster for the 2013 movie "The To Do List"
Movie Poster for the 2013 movie “The To Do List”

Notice in another review that the female virgin in the film chooses to have sex the first time with Rusty, a guy described as “hunky” and “dreamy.” She doesn’t just “pull a name out of hat” or make a bee-line to the first obese, toothless, or scrawny geek nerd guy she knows.

Sometimes “hunky” and “dreamy” guys are very, very, insanely picky about who they have sex with. Some will not settle for any female less than a busty DD-cup sized gal with flowing blonde locks with the perfect hour glass figure who looks straight off a ‘Playboy’ magazine cover, and 99% of women do not meet those physical requirements.

So there is not a guarantee that an average, to even a bit above average- looking, female virgin will get to sleep with a “hunky” or “dreamy” guy of her dreams.

I’ve noticed a lot of men, especially the ones who complain and gripe about women (and who gripe about feminists, and who describe themselves on the internet as sexually frustrated “nice guys”), seem to think women have relationships much easier than men (we do not), and they think it’s easier for women to get sex (it is not).

(Link): ‘The To Do List’ review: Vile and unfunny

    by Mick LaSalle
    Updated 4:16 pm, Thursday, July 25, 2013

    Aubrey Plaza, who is 29 and doesn’t look a day over 28, plays a girl newly graduated from high school in “The To Do List,” and the miscasting gives moments a strange undercurrent.

    …”The To Do List” is a romantic comedy with no romance and little comedy, but with an ugliness of spirit that’s surprising and unrelenting. Almost everyone in the movie is mean, selfish and spiteful, which might have been interesting, except that writer-director Maggie Carey seems to think they’re swell, or the norm, or funny. The protagonist is horrible.

    …The second problem is a matter of comedy. A teenage boy trying to lose his virginity has more potential for laughs, if only because the task is potentially difficult and requires the cooperation of a willing partner, someone who must, somehow, be persuaded.

    If the boy is ardent but inept, that’s comedy.

    Conversely, a girl who decides to engage in a sexual act faces virtually no obstacle. She can practically pick a name out of a hat and, barring bad luck, she will have success. Thus, suspense and the prospect for comic embarrassment go right out the window.

    Rachel Bilson plays Brandy’s older sister, who berates her for being a virgin with the disdain the Romans once had for lepers. Bill Hader, of “Saturday Night Live,” shows up as a creep who runs the local pool and whose idea of humor is to taunt Brandy repeatedly for having small breasts. Both Bilson and Hader play what are supposedly witty, comic characters. It’s not enough to say that they’re not remotely amusing. They actually border on vile.

(More reviews are below, some positive, some are negative. Please click the “read more” or “continue reading” link.)

Continue reading “Movie About Female Virginity – The To Do List – released July or August 2013”