Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex by S. Schrobsdorff

Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex by S. Schrobsdorff

(Link): Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex

Excerpts:

By Susanna Schrobsdorff
March 24, 2022

Christine Emba has a radical proposition: What if there’s no such thing as casual sex? In her new book, Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, Emba posits that sex itself is inherently not casual—it’s not just a physical interaction, even if we’ve tried to internalize the modern assumption that sex is like any other social activity.

Emba argues that sex involves the spirit as well as the body, and that the sexual liberation which promised lots of fun, no-strings, easy-to-access consensual sex has actually left us miserable.

Emba, a columnist for the Washington Post, believes that thinking about sex and our sexual partners casually—and commoditizing them on dating apps—has created a bleak romantic landscape.

Too many people, she writes, are having “too much of the kind of sex that saps the spirit and makes us feel less human, not more—sex that leaves us detached, disillusioned, or just dissatisfied.”

…If all of that sounds kind of old-school, it is.

Continue reading “Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex by S. Schrobsdorff”

The SBC and Whether God’s Word ‘Whispers’ About Sexual Sin by K. Williams

The SBC and Whether God’s Word ‘Whispers’ About Sexual Sin by K. Williams

The link (with excerpts) to the essay by K. Williams is farther below in this post. Here are my opening words about the subject:

Most Christians – even the moderate to conservative ones – stopped advocating or defending the concept of sexual purity years ago.

I’m not sure, but I suspect that the constant complaining about “Purity Culture” by mostly center-left to progressive Christian women who grew up in churches with Purity Culture complaining about it constantly on twitter or writing books and blog posts about it contributed.

I’m not in total agreement with all aspects of Purity Culture, but I do believe that Christian liberals or feminists who ditch the concept of sexual purity with all the rest of Purity Culture are in error.

Now, conservative Christians – it seems males especially and interestingly, even the ones who are complementarian – are too cowardly to keep defending “virginity until marriage.”

Christians, including pastors, in the past decade or so, have fallen into these false, default assumptions that any adult over the age of 25 is going to have pre-marital sex, that lifelong celibacy is too difficult – so they have started excusing or down-playing sexual sin (such as fornication) in their social media comments, books, sermons, podcasts, and You Tube videos.

I find this very bizarre, as I would if most Christians were to start saying on social media, sermons, or in books tomorrow that nobody can possibly expect any adult to… say… refrain from over-eating, stealing from stores, killing human babies for fun, or from committing adultery – so they stop advocating for moderation in eating, not stealing, not murdering babies, and refraining from extra-marital affairs.

I don’t see most Christians letting theft, gluttony, infanticide, and adultery “off the hook,” or justifying such sins (well, not usually), but they are happy to do so in regards to single adults having sex outside of marriage, and sexual sins generally speaking
(I mean, how many more of these idiots are going to -contra the Bible- keep allowing preachers guilty of child molesting or adultery back into the pulpit to preach, as they often do?)

There are different reasons I’ve been fed up and disappointed by Christianity and Christians in the last several years, and one of those reasons is this tendency for Christians to dismiss the notion or practice of “virginity- until- marriage,” and to even bash and insult it, as being “unrealistic” or “too judge-y” or whatever.

Today’s Christians cannot even be bothered to live out some of the most basic Christian ethics, defend them, or encourage them.

The following essay, taking other Christians to task for being dismissive of sexual purity, is a breath of fresh air.

(Link): The SBC and Whether God’s Word ‘Whispers’ About Sexual Sin by K. Williams

Excerpts:

By Kelly Williams, Op-Ed Contributor | March 27, 2022

My family has been Southern Baptist all my life.

…I have great respect for J.D. Greear; however, I can’t agree with him or President Ed Litton’s approach to sexual sin and how God sees it.

In 2019 Pastor Greear said, “The Bible appears more to whisper on sexual sin compared to its shouts about materialism and religious pride.”

The problem here is the Bible holds a different view.

It was sexual sin in Genesis 6 that triggered God to raise up Noah to build an ark before He destroyed the earth with a flood.

It was sexual sin that caused God to command Lot and his family to leave and not look back at Sodom and Gorromah.

Continue reading “The SBC and Whether God’s Word ‘Whispers’ About Sexual Sin by K. Williams”

Atheist Video About Being a Virgin or Sexually Abstinent – My Critique of the Atheist’s Critique

Atheist Video About Being a Virgin of Sexually Abstinent – My Critique of the Atheist’s Critique

When I am on You Tube, I seldom seek out videos about marriage, sex, dating, or singleness.

When I do visit You Tube, I normally seek out subject matter such as movie reviews and cute animal videos, but this video by “Paulogia” was bumped to the top of my ‘suggested videos to watch’ list by You Tube, so I decided to take a look.

I actually do not enjoy reading or watching content by people who are critical of ‘virginity- until- marriage,’  or who pick apart and criticize Christian teachings about sex. I find these types of things tedious, insulting, and annoying, depending on their take.

In this video, the atheist, Paul of “Paulogia” on You Tube, has a woman co-host in the video with him (I suppose she is an atheist too), Liz, where they are critiquing the video of some guy, Joe Kirby (who is a Christian), who is advocating for sexual abstinence until marriage (which is not a bad thing to advocate for, despite Liz’s seemingly sounding disdain for this).

I’ve never heard of Joe Kirby before. His You Tube page is (Link): here, “Off the Kirb Ministries”. I’ve never watched any of his videos before. All I’ve seen are the clips of the one Kirby video in the Paulogia video.

Okay, yes, as I watched more of the video, Paul says that Liz is an ex-Christian who gives sex advice on her You Tube channel (more about this below). videoScreenCap

Off to the side, you can see a screen capture I made from part of the video where a cartoon Liz, with a cartoon Paul, are watching Kirby’s (who doesn’t appear as a cartoon) video.  Watching cartoon talking heads discuss sexual mores was strange

Here is the video in question to which I refer:

(Link, You Tube, 13.30 long video): If You’re Still a Virgin – You MUST See This! feat. Liz LaPoint) (Off the Kirb response)

This video will also be placed within this post at or near the bottom of this post

As I’ve said before on this blog, in earlier blog posts going back years, while conservative Christians and secular social conservatives have, on occasion, erred in regards to their beliefs and teachings about sex, dating, and marriage (I’ve done many critiques about their views, see the section below under “Related Posts on this Blog” for a few samples) your Non-Christians (including atheists, progressive feminists, and so on), are also in error on different points.

Sometimes obnoxiously so.

Continue reading “Atheist Video About Being a Virgin or Sexually Abstinent – My Critique of the Atheist’s Critique”

In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ (Practicing Porn Star Active in Her Husband’s Church, Defends Porn)

In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ (Practicing Porn Star Active in Her Husband’s Church, Defends Porn) – story via The Roys Report

I’ve been saying at this blog for a good, long while that most churches and Christians stopped teaching or defending the concept of sexual purity years ago.

The church of today does not support “purity culture,” (and has not supported it for many years), contrary to what all the progressive feminists, or ex-Christians who rant against it, on Twitter say.

Many churches want to appear cool, hip, and trendy, in part, I think, to attract people who normally may not want to attend church. One thing they do to appeal to the non-churched is to brazenly advertise “pro sex” type of sermon series.

Churches today, and even many marriage-promoting Christian and “nuclear family” groups, no longer defend celibacy or virginity-until-marriage.

Some churches even hire and utilize known pedophiles to lead their “sexual purity” classes at and during church.
Some Christian couples openly engage in “swinging,” in which they allow their spouse to have sex with the spouse of someone else.
Yet other self professing Christians have been saying for years now that the God of the Bible is supposedly accepting of sex outside of marriage (no, the God of the Bible is not okay with pre-marital, or extra-marital sex).
(Seriously. For examples of this insanity, please see the links at the bottom of this post under “Related Posts.”)

Also, let this following report go to show, that contrary to a lot of assumptions of Baptists and evangelical Christians, married people are not more godly or ethical than single adults.

There has been a long-standing assumption by many Christians that (Link): all single adults are fornicating horn dogs who can’t keep their pants zipped up, but that all married couples are above sexual sin. Not so.

This story also goes to put a huge dent in a lot of the Christian “dating advice” type literature I read when younger, which said if you don’t have a spouse by a certain age, it’s because God is actively with-holding marriage from you, because you’re not “clean” or “godly” enough.

That perverts like the people in the story below are married goes to blow a hole through that teaching. You obviously don’t have to be very godly, or mature, responsible, or a good person to “merit” a spouse.

So far has the contemporary church sunk regarding sexual ethics, we now apparently have a preacher’s wife (with his knowledge and blessing) still working in, on, or for pornographic sites or movies while also working at her husband’s church (if I am understanding the news story correctly) and declaring herself a Christian:

(Link):  In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ by Sarah Einselen

Excerpts:

Angela Dela Cruz is a porn star, making a living from an industry widely considered evil and predatory. She’s also a pastor of Living Faith Church, a new church plant in downtown San Diego.

Angela and her husband, Stephen Dela Cruz, launched the church plant this summer, advertising it as “a church for sinners by sinners.” The church website further explains that the church’s leaders are “the biggest sinners, and this is the most non-judgmental church around!”

While the church website doesn’t identify its pastors, the couple has been open on social media about Angela’s involvement in adult entertainment and her role in the church.

Continue reading “In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ (Practicing Porn Star Active in Her Husband’s Church, Defends Porn)”

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

In light of the fact that “OnlyFans” is no longer allowing its members to post pornography on it site (which may have something to do with MasterCard credit card company refusing to accept payments on any site that may involve human/sex trafficking), some porn supporters, “sex workers,” or free speech advocates, are, unfortunately, inaccurately depicting any and all Christian sexual ethics as being “anti sex.”

Believing that sex is a sin outside the confines of marriage is a pretty typical Christian position going back decades to hundreds of years; believing that sexual behavior should have some kind of limits is not inherently “anti sex,” and as an adult celibate, I very much resent the portrayal of sexual abstinence outside of marriage as being “anti sex” or “sexual repression.”

As a celibate myself – and my preference would still be to wait until I marry to have sex, and I am now middle-aged – I am not opposed to sex.

However, I do believe that pornography and prostitution devalues the act of sex itself, and yes, both objectifies women, and women are already objectified in non-porn culture as it is.

Continue reading “The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)”

A Renowned German Sexologist Created Foster Homes Run by Pedophiles and the Government Approved

A Renowned German Sexologist Created Foster Homes Run by Pedophiles and the Government Approved by John Sexton (and other authors)

The word perverse does not even begin to cover any of this story linked to below.

And, by the way, I’m a celibate. Some people would likely argue because I’m not having sex, that I am “repressed.” I don’t think I agree with that view on the issue, but one thing I am not: a child molesting pervert.

Not having sex does not make a person a pervert or attracted to children.

I think these perverts use any excuse they can think of to make child sexual assault sound normal or justifiable to the rest of society.

(Link): Germany’s secret paedophilia experiment

Under the ‘Kentler Experiment’ of the 1970s, Berlin welfare authorities handed over homeless teenagers to known paedophiles

(Link):  The dark legacy of sexual liberation in Germany

Pedophiles in the guise of foster fathers — with vulnerable young boys in their care: The Kentler Project was just one manifestation of a perverted notion of Germany’s sexual liberation that goes back to the 1960s.

“Our lives have been ruined,” says Marco. He is one of the victims of the Kentler Project, which placed homeless children with pedophile men for decades.

Marco is now 40, but you would not guess it. There are no signs, either, of the traumatic experiences he went through, beginning when he was just nine years old.

From that age on, he was at the mercy of a pedophile foster father, who sexually abused him over a number of years.

Continue reading “A Renowned German Sexologist Created Foster Homes Run by Pedophiles and the Government Approved”

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

I’m not totally in agreement on Keller (Link) on everything, but he is correct that too many believers (Link): falsely conflate the concepts of being sexually abstinent outside of marriage with the faults in purity culture and unfortunately ditch the concept altogether.

Yet other Christians (Link): falsely believe and teach that the Bible does not support the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage.

The progressive Christians (and (Link): occasionally, doofus conservatives) try to ease the guilty consciences of fornicators (Link): by downplaying fornication.

(Link): Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

April 17, 2021

by Brandon Showalter

What’s often referred to as “purity culture” is not the same thing as remaining sexually abstinent outside of marriage, though many conflate the two, according to Tim Keller, founder and former pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City.

Keller explained in a Facebook post that in the early church, the Christian sexual ethic — that “sex was only for within a mutual, whole-self-giving, super-consensual life-long covenant” — was “revolutionary,” given the prevailing Greco-Roman ethic of the day.

Continue reading “Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter”

Why Are We Cheapening Women, Marriage, and Sex? (via PragerU and Candace Owens)

Why Are We Cheapening Women, Marriage, and Sex? (via PragerU and Candace Owens)

Disclaimer: I don’t agree with all views expressed by the PraguerU site (including on their social media), and I’m not sure I agree with all of the content in the video (with Candace Owens) in the tweet embedded in this page below.  I do agree with much of the sentiments expressed, but perhaps not all.

(The tweet with the video should be embedded below; or click here to view it on Twitter’s site)

What you see in the Tweet is a clip taken from a longer video with Candace Owens on You Tube (Link): here.

Owens spends a lot of time in that video discussing why men today aren’t as manly today as they were 80 years ago, then the topic moves on to climate change
– but then, around the 29 minute mark, the conversation turns to the dangers of pornography, and how so many women dress too skanky on social media to get male attention, how the over sexualization of culture and the widespread availability of porn cheapens marriage, sex, and women.

(Link): on You Tube: The Candace Owens Show: Jacki Deason (relevant portion starts around 29, 30 minute mark)



Related:

(Link): We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

(Link):  CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)
(Link):  I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link):  Why are young feminists so clueless about sex? by M. Wente

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

My Thoughts Regarding the Editorial: Sex & The Single Pastor by Rod Dreher

My Thoughts Regarding the Editorial: Sex & The Single Pastor by Rod Dreher

The following editorial by Rod Dreher is about a liberal Luthern preacher named Nadia Bolz Weber who recently had a bunch of women’s “sexual purity rings” melted down to have an artist form them into the shape of a vagina.

Bolz Weber also released a new book about sex called “Shameless.” It’s an anti-Purity Culture book.

The author of this essay, Dreher, refers readers of his piece to (Link): this page (“The Luthern Pastor Calling For a Sexual Revolution”) at the New Yorker about Bolz Weber.

I was a devout Christian for many years, and that is one reason among a few as to why I remain a virgin past the age of 45.

That’s right, I’ve never had sex – because I was waiting until I got married to have sex, but I never found the right guy to marry.

I have spent a few years blogging here pointing out how nobody but nobody respects adult virginity or celibacy.

Many conservatives and Christians mock and insult adult celibacy and virginity, not just “sex positive” feminists or liberals.

As a matter of fact, a lot of Christians (and secular conservatives) view marriage to be the norm, and as something that can “fix” society, so they shame or insult anyone who remains single past the page of 30, whether that singleness is due to choice or circumstance. (I have examples of this sort of thing in older posts on this blog.)

Continue reading “My Thoughts Regarding the Editorial: Sex & The Single Pastor by Rod Dreher”

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill

I recognize there are flaws with Christian “Purity Culture,” but the response to those flaws (usually by liberal Christians) is just as bad.

The liberal Christians, or others who are opposed to Christian sexual purity teachings, want to reject about any and all sexual boundaries, in the process of rebelling against Christian purity teaching.

However, not all of Christian purity teaching is bad – something the anti-Purity Culture advocates don’t want to admit or discuss.

As I’ve pointed out in older posts, the anti-Purity Culture movement ends up alienating and marginalizing any adults who do choose to remain celibate or virgins until marriage.

We’re living in an age and culture where a lot of us are demanded to respect any and all sexual behaviors, except for virginity and celibacy; those are mocked, as are those who practice them. The tolerance goes only one-way with many Anti-Purity Culture adherents.

(Link): Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality 

By W. Hill, Feb 2019

Excerpts:

We can’t defeat shame by whittling down God’s law to fit our behavior. We need the good news of God’s forgiveness instead

….Doing Away with Absolution

Unfortunately, the pastor who talked up the liberation that comes from admitting you’re in the wrong now seems more interested in helping people understand why they don’t need to.

In her new book, Shameless: A Sexual Reformation, Bolz-Weber is out to set Christians free from the angst and humiliation churches have often foisted on them because of their sexual proclivities and behaviors.

But the way the book goes about doing so is by rejecting wholesale the idea of “sexual purity” and, with it, the need to confess sexual transgression.

Continue reading “Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill”

The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’ by G. Shane Morris

The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’ by G. Shane Morris

I agree with most of this editorial by Morris, but I have one slight area of disagreement, which I will discuss below the link and excerpts.

All in all, this is an excellent editorial, so you will want to click the link below to go to Patheos, where it’s hosted, to read it in its entirety, but please remember to come back to this blog post to read some of my comments much farther below.

(Link): The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’

by G. Shane Morris
December 2018

[Author Morris discusses an anti-Purity Culture, anti- I Kissed Dating Goodbye editorial by Abigail Rine Favale, and refutes some of her arguments.]

…But one thing I’ve noticed is how many of those complaints come from people who admit they never took Harris’ advice in the first place. Favale is one of them.

She confesses: “I opted for more conventional forms of kissing and bade farewell to my virginity instead.” Nevertheless, she claims, “the ideas in Harris’ book influenced me—if not my habits, certainly my sense of self.”

It’s not clear what she means by this, except perhaps that she felt guilty about having premarital sex. No one needs Joshua Harris to experience the prick of conscience, though. Which is why one detects in recriminations against “purity culture” by those who openly engaged in impurity more than a hint of sour grapes.

Continue reading “The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’ by G. Shane Morris”

Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh and Virginity

Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh and Virginity

So, Brett Kavanaugh is Trump’s nominee for Supreme Court Justice.

Apparently Democrats leaked the personal information of Dr. Christine Ford, who claims that when younger, Kavanaugh pushed her on to a bed, put his hand over her mouth, and was attempting to undress her.

It was either Ford or another woman who knew Kavanaugh when he was a teen or young 20-something who claims Kavanaugh exposed his genitals to her.

Kavanaugh was called before a Senate committee last week (great parody (Link): here)

Anyway – I was raised in the Christian faith, and partly due to that and Christian sexual ethics teachings – which stress that sex outside of marriage is sin – I’ve yet to have sex, I am still a virgin, as I’ve never married. I’m in my 40s.

One thing I’ve noticed is that not only does a large swath of secular culture mock sexually abstinent people, but so too does Christian culture and conservatives.

Your average liberal or feminist wants culture to respect any and all sexual actions and choices, yet, they will mock adults who are celibate or are virgins (I have examples of this on previous post on this blog).

Christians and conservatives frequently mock or warn about sexual promiscuity, they like to shame women who have children outside of wedlock., and yet, Christians and conservatives also are un-supportive or adults past the age of 29 who are sexually abstaining.

Yes, Christians and some conservatives will SAY that they respect adult virginity, but in truth, they do not. Some of them openly mock or ridicule anyone who is chaste and/or single past the age of 25, while some of their other attitudes of sex – such as a very “easy forgivism” attitude in regards to fornication or an assumption that every unmarried adult page age 18 is sexually active – belie and contradict their so-called respect for chastity.

So, one topic of several I’ve blogged about here regularly for the last few years have been virginity and celibacy.

I’d say many people in American culture would define or understand virginity, in the context of hetero relationships, to say that one “loses one’s virginity” if one engages in penis- in- the- vagina (or anus) physical contact.

(That’s pretty much my understanding of the word and concept, as well.)

Brett Kavanaugh was defending himself by saying that he was a virgin through high school and during part (or all?) or his college years.

Being a virgin does not prohibit or preclude a man from doing the things Kavanaugh was accused of, such as allegedly exposing his penis to one young lady, and pushing another woman down on a bed and attempting to remove her clothing without her consent.

A virgin can, in fact, expose him or herself and still technically remain a virgin.

A virgin can pin a woman down to a bed, cover her mouth, and paw at her clothing and still remain a virgin, if one understands “virgin” to mean “no penis in a vagina and/or anus” definition.

I notice that nobody in our culture values or respects virginity unless it can “come in handy” like in this very specific case where Kavanaugh is trying to depict himself as an innocent choir boy who was incapable of groping women or exposing himself, all because he never went “all the way.”

Some of the attitudes that secular society has against virginity, which the author, Creech, outlines below in his piece I have copied, are also the same in much of the Christian community, and among secular conservatives.

As I have noted elsewhere on my blog, in blog posts now a few years old, there are well-known Christians, some are pastors, some are book authors and bloggers, who also doubt that anyone can remain a virgin past the age of 18 or 29.

Many Christians and conservatives believe, to use one phrase I’ve seen them use in discussing this subject, that it takes a “Herculean effort” to remain a virgin past one’s twenties.

Yet other Christians assume, quite wrongly, that if someone is a virgin past the age of 18 (or 29), it must be because that person lacks a libido, and/or that God “gifted them with celibacy,” and that God also supernaturally empowers that person to resist having sexual relations – all of which is false.

God does not “gift” anyone with celibacy, or with a supernatural ability to resist sex. The reasons why a person is able to maintain celibacy comes down to self-control, choice, and personal conviction, and it’s something that everyone can accomplish, but most do not want to, because they are too selfish or lazy.

It’s easier for the Christian fornicators out there to assume that anyone who didn’t fornicate like they did must be especially exceptional in some regard, as in, God waved a magic wand and gave that person some super ability to resist sexual temptation, or God removed all sexual desire from the person.

(Link):  Kavanaugh’s ‘Virgin Defense’

By Christian Post Columnist, Rev. Mark H. Creech

 1 Oct 2018

In reference to the allegations of sexual assault against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh said in an interview with Fox News’ Martha McCallum, “I did not have sexual intercourse or anything close to sexual intercourse in high school or many years thereafter.”

“So you are saying that through all these years in question that you were a virgin?” asked McCallum. “That’s correct,” said Kavanaugh.

Kavanaugh also referenced the same during his latest testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday, saying his abstinence from sex during those years was a matter of “faith, respect, and caution.”

Some now are calling this “The Virgin Defense” and find Kavanaugh’s claim highly suspect and worthy of ridicule.

Continue reading “Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh and Virginity”