The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

In my few years of writing on this blog, I am still sometimes amazed at the comments I get, especially the remarks I get from the most innocuous of posts.

Never would I have imagined that linking to some article about a 105 year old woman who says she is happy and still alive at 105 because she has never bothered with men would induce someone to come on to my blog to leave me nasty and presumptive comments, but that is what happened.

This married woman named Gladys Wisener stopped by this blog recently, and she engaged in some singles-shaming under (Link): that post about a 105 year old single woman.

When Gladys began saying or assuming some weird, offensive, negative, or insulting things about me, and I understandably got irate and offended in response to her attitude and comments, and I let her know, she replies by telling me I sound “bitter.”

Because that’s what entitled married cows such as her do – they assume if you have a legitimate complaint against their obnoxious- married- people- attitudes and- presumptive- assumptions about you, they assume it can only come from a place of… wait for it… yes, that’s right, it must be due to bitterness.

And the unspoken assumption is that you, you single woman, must be bitter because you’re single and don’t have a husband.

In their thinking, bitterness could be the only possible reason you are correcting a married woman on your blog about singleness for being obnoxious.

Your anger cannot possibly be due to the married person’s hideous, insulting comments to you or about you or about singleness, no, it must be because you are not married!

If only you were married or in a steady relationship, you would not take umbrage at the married person’s condescending comments about you or your blog – married or engaged people would love to be on the receiving end of your lousy assumptions and comments and take them so well.

Continue reading “The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener”

One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims

One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims

Why do conservative Christians blather on and on about the supposed need for parenthood – because supposedly, parenthood makes people less selish, and turns them into all-Giving, loving, responsible, mature Savior Figures, when some of these parents admit to hiding from their own families in the bathroom?

And why are men hiding? Women still do the majority of the house-work and child-care as most husbands sit around on their asses drinking beer and watching TV.

I don’t see how the Nuclear Family is making culture any better, especially when the male figure of the family is hiding from said family in the bathroom.

(Link):One third of British men say they sometimes hide in their bathrooms to escape family, survey claims

By R. Knight
Sept 2018

A third of British men say they sometimes hide in their bathrooms “to get some peace and quiet”, according to a new poll.

The survey of 1,000 men found that on average they spend a total of seven hours a year in the bathroom for this reason.
Respondents said the main reasons they hid in the toilet was to avoid chores and look at their phones undisturbed.

Continue reading “One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims”

Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment

Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment (2018)

I don’t think I ever blogged about this Hybels guy before.

He was first in the news many months ago for sexually harassing several different women in his church years before, who had worked as church staff.

His church first denied that this was true, and they attempted to say the women who stepped forward to discuss their harassment or abuse by this guy were lying.

There are so many of these pervy pastors it’s hard to keep up with them all. If all I ever did was blogged about perverted pastors, it would be a full time job, and I’d never have a break from this blog!

I’m pretty sure that Hybels is a married guy, too. Christians keep teaching that marriage is necessary to make a person a godly, responsible adult, and to keep them out of sexual sin, but as we see (yet once again!) marriage does not necessarily instill character into anyone, nor does it keep anyone from sexual sin or from sexually abusing others.

Let this story also go to show that a person does NOT have to become perfect, godly, or sinless to “earn” a spouse from God.

Yes, there are some Christians out there who teach that if you are single and want to get married, God will with-hold your spouse from you unless you become more godly, mature, or whatever quality. As  you can see from news reports such as this one, that is total bunk.

God did not withhold a spouse from Hybels (again, I’m fairly certain he has a wife), even though God had to know what a pervert the man is.

(Link): He’s a Superstar Pastor. She Worked for Him and Says He Groped Her Repeatedly.

Excerpts:

Bill Hybels built an iconic evangelical church outside Chicago. A former assistant says that in the 1980s, he sexually harassed her.

SOUTH BARRINGTON, Ill. — After the pain of watching her marriage fall apart, Pat Baranowski felt that God was suddenly showering her with blessings.

She had a new job at her Chicago-area megachurch, led by a dynamic young pastor named the Rev. Bill Hybels, who in the 1980s was becoming one of the most influential evangelical leaders in the country.

Continue reading “Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment”

Married Man Looking to Cheat is Mocked After Leaving a Crib in the Background on His Tinder (Dating Site) Photo

Married Man Looking to Cheat is Mocked After Leaving a Crib in the Background on His Tinder (Dating Site) Photo

Parenthood and marriage do not make all people more godly, mature, and responsible. Which you should already know, unless you’re a conservative, complementarian Christian who has made an idol out of the Nuclear Family, in which case the following story may shock you.

(Link): Married man, 42, is ripped apart for posting a topless selfie on Tinder looking for an affair – and he scores ‘douchebag points’ for leaving a MOSES basket in the background 

(Link): Married father gets shredded online for Tinder profile looking for affair 

A married father has been labelled a ‘douchebag’ after posting a Tinder profile of himself looking for an affair.

But it’s not the extramarital activity that has most people riled up.

The unnamed man uploaded a photo to the dating app, careful to crop out his head, and simply named himself ‘P’, so as to not be identified by his wife.

Continue reading “Married Man Looking to Cheat is Mocked After Leaving a Crib in the Background on His Tinder (Dating Site) Photo”

Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT

Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT

Stetzer  – who has not always done a great job in the past in discussing adult singleness and aspects related (see this link and this link) – has started a new series at Christianity Today about Christianity and adult singleness, specifically, how churches and Christians have habitually marginalized singles and idolized the family unit.

I think he’s planning on writing one or two more essays in this series; currently, he only has part 1 and part 2 up and running.

As he adds more essays in this series (if he does so, I’m unclear as if to there will be future posts), I think my preference is to edit this post to add links to those posts, rather than making separate posts on my blog about it.

Stetzer is covering issues about this I have been blogging about on this blog for the past several years.

One problem I have with one of these pieces is that Stetzer tells married couples not to shy away from be-friending single adults, because marrieds refusing to friend single adults can unfairly ostracize singles – which is fine advice – I’m all for married people friend-ing single people, yet (here is where the problematic part comes in) –

Yet, however, in 2014, Stetzer essentially told married couples in (Link): another article on Christianity Today magazine article to treat all singles like potential adulterers, to basically practice the “Billy Graham Rule,” and stay away from single adults of the opposite sex, because opposite – sex friendships will all supposedly end in an affair.

Which is not true. I’m a never-married woman, but I would not have an affair with a married man.

Singles are no more prone to committing sexual sins than married people.

There are plenty of examples of married people having extra-marital affairs with another married person. (There are plenty of husbands who have affairs with another man’s wife.)

Marriage does not make adults immune from committing (sexual) sin – note (Link): how many married Christian (and Non-Christian) men have been caught looking at porn, arrested for child molesting, hiring prostitutes, or having affairs.

Here’s the link to his first post in the series, the second is below:

(Link):  Singles: A Vital Part of Our Churches, Part 1– by Ed Stetzer

Excerpts:

Singles make up half of our churches, so we best learn to treat all people—married or single—equally

Let me just get this out there at the outset: For many, being single in the church can sometimes feel very awkward.

I have heard a number of singles tell me stories that have made me cringe—stories of how the leadership and the marrieds in the church spoke or acted in ways that were silly at best and dishonoring at worst.

Continue reading “Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT”

Dallas County Candidate Admits Plan To Reward His Children Who Marry White, Straight Christians

Dallas County Candidate Admits Plan To Reward His Children Who Marry White, Straight Christians

Talk about turning marriage and “family values” into an Idol – this guy takes the cake.

(Link): Dallas County candidate admits plan to reward his children who marry white, straight Christians

By Marwa Eltagouri // May 18, 2018

The estranged brother of a former judge running for county commissioner contacted the Dallas Morning News earlier this week with a bold assertion: That the candidate, Vickers ‘Vic’ Cunningham, was a lifelong racist.

Cunningham, a former criminal district judge, largely denied his brother’s accusations. But he confirmed to the newspaper that he had set up a living trust with a clause that would reward his children if they married a white person.

Continue reading “Dallas County Candidate Admits Plan To Reward His Children Who Marry White, Straight Christians”

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids?

I am marginally still a social conservative, but as the months go by, I find myself drifting further and further away from it (though I’ll never be a liberal).

I was a stalwart social conservative for many years, but I’ve become more attuned to some of the hypocrisy or double standards contained within some socially conservative points or views.

One of the things I’ve struggled with the last couple of years is that Republicans (I’m an ex Republican) and social conservatives claim to be “pro-family,” yet, they often want to push through policies that cut off or limit families or kids or single mothers in some way.

Yes, I grasp that Republicans are for smaller government and want to cut expenses, but I don’t see how they can do that in the area of family benefits.

How can you claim to be “pro family” and to support children, and say that liberals are the evil anti-family types, when you keep promoting legislative material that wants to cut funding for families or kids? (Please see the “Related Posts” section at the bottom of this post for more.)

By the way. Many social conservatives and Christian conservatives fret, fret, fret that marriage and baby-making are on the decline in the United States – see for example links on my blog such as this one –

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

And yet, they penalize women who do become pregnant and give birth. If you are a Republican, Christian, or social conservative who thinks family is great, motherhood is great, and that women should have more children, then why on earth would you penalize women who do in fact give birth?

Shouldn’t you be willing to help all mothers – whether single or not – more? I don’t understand the hatred for mothers who need a helping hand from the very people who bray on and on about how horrible it is today’s culture supposedly disregards motherhood and the nuclear family.

Many Republicans, social conservatives, and Christians I’ve seen since I’ve been a teenager reading political columns, have regularly argued that children are better off if their mothers stay at home, rather than dropping them off at a daycare to hold down an outside-the-home career.

But as this editorial by Walthers explains, some of the Republican reforms of welfare has forced women into working outside the home, thus leaving their children motherless during the day.

How is it out of one side of their mouths that conservatives are saying it’s bad for women who are mothers to work outside the home, but then forcing them into the position to do that very thing?

(Link): Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by Matthew Walther

What would happen, I wonder, if all the Republican state senators in the country woke up to find that all their wildest dreams had come true?

Continue reading “Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther”

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

As of 2018, the snotty entitlement and insensitivity of some mothers – and Christian men who support them – continues.

I’ve been blogging about this topic for a few years now on this blog. It makes me sad to see this still going on.

DefendTheSheep (person on Twitter) tweeted out a link to this reasonable essay imploring Christians to be more sensitive towards those who find the Mother’s Day holiday painful. Link to that:

(Link): Don’t Ask Moms To Stand in Church This Sunday

My problem is not with the essay itself.

As a matter of fact, I encourage you to click the link above to visit the page and read it.

My problem was with some of the hideous comments various people left below the page.

Some of the comments were just incredibly insensitive or very mistaken about why some people find Mother’s Day – especially when it’s celebrated during church services – to be hurtful or stressful.

Christians often like to teach that parenthood and marriage are necessary to make people more giving and loving and compassionate, but that is not so. The married parents leaving comments under blog posts such as the one I am discussing here are very selfish and entitled – being parents has done nothing to make them more loving, caring, or empathetic.

Continue reading “The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’”

Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors

Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors

While I am not against the “nuclear family” per se, I am very much in opposition to how Christians and other conservatives have turned the nuclear family into an idol.

Conservatives revere the nuclear family (as well as natalism, motherhood, and marriage) to the detriment and exclusion of the childless, the infertile, the child-free, the widowed, the divorced, and the never married – anyone who does not fit their nauseating, preferred structure of society.

Christians don’t just “focus” on the family, they WORSHIP it – which is a sin. The Bible tells you not to put anything or anyone above your devotion to Jesus Christ, not even your flesh and blood family, but Christians ignore this.

(Link): Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors

By Michael Gryboski , Christian Post Reporter | Apr 20, 2018 11:39 AM

Focus on the Family is defending its decision to have the Internal Revenue Service officially reclassify the Christian nonprofit as a “church,” denouncing the efforts of some to ascribe “sinister” intentions to the change.

An article published in February by the liberal group People for the American Way’s Right Wing Watch site documenting Focus on the Family’s reclassification has been getting extensive attention in recent weeks.

Continue reading “Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors”

Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex

Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex

Let us once more, for the millionth time on this blog, point out what Christian – and sometimes secular – conservatives get wrong (I am speaking here as a conservative myself, one who at times disagrees with other conservatives), in lieu of news stories like the one I am copying below:

-Marriage does not make people more godly, responsible, mature, or ethical

-God does not require a single adult who desires marriage to become pure, holy, godly, or perfect before he sends them a spouse

-The Christian “Equally Yoked” rule is unnecessary and too limiting for Christian women who’d like to marry, since there are not enough Christian single men for Christian single women to marry.
Furthermore, many Christian men turn out to be adulterers, pedophiles, wife abusers, and god only knows what else they are guilty of (see (Link): this list for examples), so that Christian single women are better off selecting a man to marry based on his actions and character, rather than his stated religious beliefs.

(Link): Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex

Les Hughey, the founder of Highlands Church in Scottsdale, Arizona, has been placed on leave as the megachurch investigates accusations recently made by four women who say that he took sexual advantage of them when they were teenagers.

Hughey responded to the accusations, published in The Modesto Bee, on Saturday by admitting that inappropriate relationships did take place in the past, but insisted that they were of a consensual nature.

Continue reading “Megachurch Pastor Les Hughey Admits ‘Sinning’ After 4 Women Accuse Him of Back Rubs, Sex”

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Review of common motiffs covered on this blog:

-Complementarianism (Christian patriarchy / male headship) is sexist trash and doesn’t produce “godly” men (actually, men under comp take advantage of women and hold women responsible for the sins of men);
-marriage does not make people more “godly” or responsible than singleness; and,
-God does not grant spouses to perfect people only (if God did so, the depraved idiot in this following news story, who fondled his own kids would not have gotten a spouse).

(Link): Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

By Stoyan Zaimov , Christian Post Reporter | Apr 17, 2018 9:50 AM

Jessica Willis Fisher, the 26-year-old daughter of The Willis Clan patriarch Toby, has revealed that she suffered decades of sex abuse, beatings, and manipulation at the hands of her father.

The Willis Clan, originally made up of a Christian family of 14 from Nashville, Tennessee, shot to fame through season 9 of “America’s Got Talent.” They were also featured in “The Willis Family” TV series on TLC between 2015 and 2016, before Toby Willis was arrested on charges of child rape.

Continue reading “Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family”

Ashley Madison Data Reveals Republican Men Are More Likely To Cheat On Their Wives

Ashley Madison Data Reveals Republican Men Are More Likely To Cheat On Their Wives

If you’re new to this blog: I was a Republican for many years.  I’m not, never have I ever been, a liberal Democrat.

But I’ve noticed that Republicans are sometimes hypocritical about all the Family Values stuff they routinely spout off about. This is another example of that hypocrisy.

(Link): Ashley Madison Data Reveals Republican Men Are More Likely To Cheat On Their Wives

By Sarah Burris
April 2018

One thing that came out of the hack on Ashley Madison was the information that the site was overwhelmingly dominated by male users. Data is now revealing, however, that among those men using the site, the majority (Link): were Republicans.

Ashley Madison is the world’s leading website for married people seeking additional relationships. According to their numbers, for all of those conservatives who claim “family values,” they’re (Link): more apt to compromise their morality if it is expedient for them to do so.

“The Republican party has often touted its traditional values with a (Link): foundation based on Judeo-Christian ethics, ethics of course that do not align with adultery,” noted a release on the topic.

Continue reading “Ashley Madison Data Reveals Republican Men Are More Likely To Cheat On Their Wives”

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Here we go yet again. Conservatives, both Christian and secular, believe and promote untruths and falsehoods that marriage will make people more mature and empathetic and that marriage is so much better for society than people remaining single.

I have been a conservative going back to my teen years, and I heard all the pro-Family Values rhetoric all the time, rhetoric which generally includes bashing singleness or insulting single adults for being single.

Frequently, conservatives will blame liberals or feminism for “ruining” society and they will prescribe marriage and having children as “the cure”, but I sure as heck do not see traditional values, church, Christianity, The Nuclear Family, Family Values, or marriage or parenthood making society any better.

Married people are not more sexually pure than single adults. Many times, conservatives incorrectly assume that being married will cause a decrease in a person sexually sinning, and that all to most single adults are “horn dogs” who lack sexual self control.

Christians will sometimes teach that if you are a single adult who’d like to marry that you, the single, must meet some kind of spiritual standard or else God will not allow you to marry, that God will not “reward you with” a spouse.

Christians will teach singles that it is sinful to marry outside the Christian faith. They often based this on a verse or two that mentions being equally yoked, and the assumption seems to be that a Christian who marries a Non-Christian will “veer off course” and become a non-believer too or live a life of sin.

Here we have a news story of two Christians married to each other, one worked as a church pastor no less, but they are both a couple of perverts.

Being married did not keep this couple from sexually sinning. Being married did not make this couple more mature, responsible, godly, and God apparently did not mind rewarding both of these deviants with a spouse, because he permitted them to marry each other.

Lastly, I would rather marry an atheist who is not a pervert than be “equally yoked” to a self professing Christian man like the pastor in this story who sexually preyed on women congregants.

(Link): California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Jan 19, 2018

by Travis Gettys

A former parishioner sued a California church and its former pastors — who she accused of sexual assault, battery and harassment.

The woman, a mother of two in her 30s, sued former Church for Life pastors Robert Litzinger and Cindy Litzinger seeking compensatory and punitive damages, reported the (Link): Santa Maria Times.

Continue reading “California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit”

This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

(Link): This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

Excerpts:

Blood relatives are key to the holiday. But I share a deeper DNA with the body of Christ.

Every Saturday, after evening church services, my husband and I open our home to friends— mostly unmarried ones.

Sometimes it’s four or five friends, sometimes one, sometimes it’s just my husband and me and our housemate, a 24-year-old intern at our church. Whatever the number, we gather around the table in the nook of our kitchen, light candles, listen to one another, pray, sometimes play a game, sometimes mourn with each other, and usually laugh.

Continue reading “This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert”

Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

(Link): Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

by Daniel Politi

The head of the Family Research Council allegedly kept quiet about claims that an Ohio Republican lawmaker assaulted a teenage boy in a hotel two years ago. Perkins was told that then-candidate for the Ohio legislature Wesley Goodman’s allegedly fondled a supporter’s son during a conference in Washington, (Link): according to the Washington Post.

“If we endorse these types of individuals, then it would seem our whole weekend together was nothing more than a charade,” the boy’s stepfather wrote to Perkins, head of the Council for National Policy, to demand action. Perkins replied that “this will not be ignored nor swept aside” but he did say the issue would be “dealt … with prudence.”

The apparent actions by Goodman apparently didn’t come as a surprise to Perkins who referred to “similar incidents” in a letter. Perkins called on Goodman to step down from the race, but he continued and eventually won a seat in the legislature in November.

Married, Republican Pro-Life Politician Allegedly Asked His Pregnant Mistress to Get an Abortion

Married, Republican Pro-Life Politician Allegedly Asked His Pregnant Mistress to Get an Abortion

It was this sort of thing that drove me from the Republican Party – the worship of family values but the failure to live up to them. Though (caveat or disclaimer!) I have to say the GOP at least has standards in the first place, which is a step above the liberal Democrats, who advocate hedonism.

(Link): Anti-abortion Rep. Tim Murphy resigns after report he asked lover to end pregnancy

(Link): Anti-abortion Rep. Tim Murphy, who reportedly urged abortion, resigns from Congress 

(Link): Report: Anti-abortion US rep asked girlfriend to get one

(Link): Easy abortion is a winner for sleazy men

….But the truth is that men benefit from the easy availability of abortion at least as much — if not more — than women.

Which is one reason the recently departed Hugh Hefner was such a big proponent. Playboy published its first article supporting the legalization of abortion in 1965 and even listed the numbers of hotlines where women could obtain them — even before Roe v. Wade.

The audience for this information was clearly not women who were reading Playboy articles but men who had, as they used to say, gotten women in trouble.

Continue reading “Married, Republican Pro-Life Politician Allegedly Asked His Pregnant Mistress to Get an Abortion”

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

I’m a single woman, but I’ve never been liberal.

(Link): How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

….The more freedom we have, the more there will be very feminine and masculine subcultures too, and this might explain a great deal of recent political developments — in particular the campus identity politics movement and the alt-right.

The former is heavily female, while the latter is overwhelmingly male — in fact, not just male, but populated by men who seem to have difficulties with women.

…Single women tend to be politically very liberal, voting for the Democrats in huge numbers….

Generally speaking, the culture wars are far more intense between women because women have to make more sacrifices — whether children or career — and this inevitably influences their worldview.

Continue reading “How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West”

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

Excerpts:

Gina Dalfonzo shares an insider’s perspective on the frustrations of long-term singleness


This was never the life I imagined. My friends and I often sit around wondering how we got here. What boys did we pass up? What mistakes did we make?

What routines did we neglect, leaving us sleeping alone while the ticking of our biological clocks lulls us into fitful dreams? I don’t feel equipped for singleness.

All the youth group dating advice was predicated on the idea that marriage was in my future, that if I made all the right choices, kept myself pure, and sought after God, he would reward me with a husband. I’ve only recently gotten to a place where I can ask myself, But what if he doesn’t?

Continue reading “Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith”

Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

(Link): Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

Excerpts:

…Except, for women, their mothering skills are becoming an increasingly relevant topic of discussion. In the past year, women have been told either implicitly or explicitly that traditional roles are the ones they should be most focused on fulfilling. We’re dealing with a President who has said “putting a wife to work is a dangerous thing,” because, “a softness disappeared.” He also said that “when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I go through the roof.”

….Being a parent is a source of joy and challenge and meaning for many humans of all genders. But it’s not the most important job there is. It’s not even technically a job, insofar as it pays no money. It is more like a very demanding volunteer position that you can never, ever get out of.

And, as rewarding as that position may be, producing a younger person is not necessarily the main contribution people make to the world. People can probably not tell you how many children Harriet Tubman or Marie Curie or Elizabeth Cady Stanton had, but they can, hopefully, tell you what they did.

Continue reading “Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright”

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Please note this blog post has undergone some modifications here and there since I first published it – a few fixed typos, some additional thoughts have been added here and there.


Here’s the link to the editorial – below it, I will comment about it, then a bit later, provide some excerpts from it, followed by yet more critiques):

(Link):  When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield –  Let’s reimagine ways we can honor mothers without wounding others.   by L L Fields via Christianity Today magazine

Here are some of my thoughts about the editorial:

As I first began reading it, I had high hopes. I was optimistic.

It started out on the right foot but descended into a let-down where Fields is arguing for the status quo, which is inexcusable, especially after she admits she was educated, (after she publicly asked for feedback from women), as to how so many women find church Mother’s Day celebrations so painful.

(The summary of her piece: she doesn’t really care about your pain, you childless woman, or you women who are grieving for their dead mothers; she still wants her mother’s day carnation handed to her by a pastor, dammit, and culture doesn’t do near enough, she argues, to honor motherhood!
She would no doubt want to push back and say, ‘hey, I do care about other women’s pain’ – but no, she does not, if she is still arguing to keep Mother’s Day in place as-is. Please keep reading.)

First of all, motherhood is a choice for many women.

You chose to have a child. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s women who deliberately walk into a pregnancy and then spend 15 – 20 years complaining about how exhausting motherhood is.

Continue reading “Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields”