Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View

Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View

Well, I am a conservative, and I am not “anti Nuclear Family,” so I cannot say I agree with the idea of abolishing The Nuclear Family.

On the other hand, as I’ve stated numerous times on this blog, married couples have been shown in studies to be too self-absorbed (they meet all the needs of their spouse and kids while not extending help or care to those outside their nuclear family, and the Bible itself notes in 1 Corinthians 7 that married people are more concerned with meeting the needs of their spouse than in doing God’s work).

Too many conservatives place too much emphasis on the Nuclear Family, especially religious persons. The Bible simply does not command people to marry – sorry, but the one call to widows to re-marry does not establish that marriage for the never-married is a requirement, or that the command is timeless for all people – and the Bible does not say that marriage or The Family Unit will save or rescue a society.

The Bible says the problem with a nation is that each individual is a sinner before God, and the only solution to that is for the individual to put saving faith in Jesus. The Bible does not prescribe marriage and establishing the Nuclear Family as a solution.

An un-due emphasis on the “family” unnecessarily marginalizes single adults, widows, the divorced, the infertile among us – the Bible says the purest religion is to help the widow and the orphan (see James 1:27), not to minister to The Nuclear Family.

There are problems with the Nuclear Family, with conservatives turning it into a deity that they worship and place an unhealthy fixation upon (among other issues), but I also do not support communism, marxism, or eliminating the Nuclear Family.

I do not support abortion – that topic is raised below. The woman discussed below who is arguing against the Nuclear Family supports abortion; I do not.

(Link): Author Sophie Lewis’ forthcoming book is titled ‘Abolish the Family’

In a forthcoming book titled “Abolish the Family,” the author “makes the case for family abolition,” according to a book description that calls author Sophie Lewis a “leading feminist critic.”

I have additional commentary and resources below this link and report:

(Link): Liberal author says the family unit is ‘a terrible way to satisfy… love & care,’ calls to abolish it

Excerpts:

Sophie Lewis previously called for women to embrace abortion as justified killing

Sept 25, 2022
By Lindsay Kornick | Fox News

Feminist theorist and author Sophie Lewis was the subject of an article on Friday in the UK’s The New Statesman website publication following her new book “Abolish the Family.”

Historian Erin Magalaque discussed Lewis’ book which described the family unit as “a terrible way to satisfy all of our desires for love, care, nourishment” and was highly critical of suggestions otherwise.

“The family isn’t actually any good at creating intimacy, Lewis argues; the family creates, in fact, a dearth of care, with shreds and scraps of intimacy fought out between overworked parents and totally dependent kids, hidden behind the locked doors of private property,” Magalaque wrote.

Magalaque complimented Lewis’ efforts to mock what she called “inevitable knee-jerk” reactions to calls to abolish the family unit.

Continue reading “Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View”

Florida Couple Is Arrested After Six Year Old Son Found Unconscious With Head in Motel Toilet Bowl As Their Younger Kids with Burns, Scars, and Black Eyes are Rescued

Florida Couple Is Arrested After Six Year Old Son Found Unconscious With Head in Motel Toilet Bowl As Their Younger Kids with Burns, Scars, and Black Eyes are Rescued

The Nuclear Family does not necessarily make a society better, in that it does not, contrary to excessive marriage and parenthood promoters (such as Brad Wilcox, Al Mohler, and other conservatives or conservative think tanks and groups that promote the nuclear family) instantly instill ethics, godliness, good morals, or compassion in a person.

(As a matter of fact, plenty of people who marry and have children together are either alcoholics, drug addicts, or have some kind of treatment-impervious personality disorder such as narcissism,
which makes them too selfish to meet the needs of their children, or else, they abuse their own children.
Raising a kid does not instantly or automatically heal a person of alcoholism, depression, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or whatever they are afflicted with.)

(Link): Florida couple, 22 and 25, are arrested after son, 6, was found unconscious with his head down a motel TOILET BOWL as five younger kids with burns, scars and black eyes are rescued

by Janon Fisher
July 13, 2022

A Florida couple has been arrested and charged with child abuse after their 6-year old son was found unconscious with his head in the toilet, according to the Osceola Sheriff’s Office.

Larry Rhodes Jr., 22, and Bianca Blaise, 25, were taken into custody on July 5, after deputies arrived at the motel room the couple was staying in and found their son, who had swollen eyes and no pulse.

The boy was rushed to Arnold Palmer Hospital with a ‘life-threatening brain bleed,’ cops said, and is now on life support.

The couple claimed the boy had gotten in a fight with his 4-year-old brother the day before and that the two liked to imitate professional wrestling on the motel beds.

But when the sibling, who also had bruises and ‘fresh cuts around the mouth,’ was questioned alone by EMS workers with the Osceola County Fire Rescue, he said ‘Dad hit me.’

Continue reading “Florida Couple Is Arrested After Six Year Old Son Found Unconscious With Head in Motel Toilet Bowl As Their Younger Kids with Burns, Scars, and Black Eyes are Rescued”

Vegan Mom Sentenced to Life in Prison For 18-Month-Old Son’s Starvation Death

Vegan Mom Sentenced to Life in Prison For 18-Month-Old Son’s Starvation Death

For the millionth time on my blog:
I am not opposed to the nuclear family, marriage, and parenthood, but my dog, do I ever not want to see another conservative annoyingly bang on and on about how “the nuclear family” (or marriage) is supposedly commanded by God in the Bible (no, God does not command it), conservatives declaring – falsely- that marriage and the nuclear family heals or fixes a culture, nope, sorry, but the Bible does not prescribe marriage or the family as “sin removers” for a society, or for the individual.

I never want another conservative or conservative think tank to repeat the same bullsh*t about parenthood they usually do: that parenthood makes a person more giving, self-less, loving, and ethical – no, no it does not.

Here’s an idiot who gave birth and didn’t do something as simplistic as feed her child the proper nutrition. So he died.

Motherhood does not make people more mature, giving, loving, responsible than being childless or childfree. Popping out a kid didn’t raise this woman’s IQ or level of common sense.

And no, Fatherhood does not make a man more mature, giving, loving, responsible – the article below says this woman’s husband is in prison for the same offense.

(Link):  Vegan mom sentenced to life in prison for son’s death from ‘severe malnutrition’

Florida ‘vegan mom’ Sheila O’Leary was convicted in June, while her husband awaits trial

(Link): Vegan mother convicted of murder in malnutrition death of her baby gets life

August 30, 2022
by Harriet Alexander

A vegan woman convicted of murder in the malnutrition death of her young son was sentenced on Monday to life in prison.

Sheila O’Leary, 39, whose family followed a strict vegan diet, was convicted in June on six charges – first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter, child abuse and two counts of child neglect – in the death of Ezra O’Leary.

Her sentencing in Lee County, Florida, had previously been postponed four times. She showed no emotion as the sentence was read out, and told the judge she did not wish to make a statement.

Her husband, Ryan Patrick O’Leary, remains in jail while awaiting trial on the same charges.

Investigators said the couple, who lived in Cape Coral, told them the family ate only raw fruits and vegetables, although the toddler also was fed breast milk.

(Link): Vegan mom sentenced to life in prison for 18-month-old son’s starvation death

By Snejana Farberov
August 30, 2022

The vegan Florida mother convicted of murder in the starvation death of her 18-month-old son after feeding him only raw fruits and vegetables has been sentenced to life in prison.

Sheila O’Leary, 38, learned her fate Monday after her sentencing hearing was delayed four times following her conviction in late June for first-degree murder in the 2019 death of her son, Ezra O’Leary.

The Cape Coral woman also was handed two 30-year sentences for aggravated child abuse and aggravated manslaughter of a child, and an additional five-year term for child abuse and child neglect, to be served concurrently, reported the Fort Myers News-Press.

Continue reading “Vegan Mom Sentenced to Life in Prison For 18-Month-Old Son’s Starvation Death”

Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries

Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries

I’m afraid this is too little too late, and it also still sounds like a lot of pastors and Christians are apathetic about meeting the needs of single (especially never married) adults who are over the age of 30.

If you’re a church, or a secular or religious conservative, you need to meet people where they are and meet their needs where they are currently, rather than lambasting people for not being married, shaming them, or lecturing them about being single and the so-called importance of the Nuclear Family.

And stop putting the onus on single adults to meet their own needs and the needs of other single adults.

If your church has staff and devotes funds to minister to married with young children, drug addicts, divorced adults, or people in the grieving process,
you need to also set aside church staff and funds to set up programs and services to cater to single adults over the age of 30,
rather than making this hypocritical exception where you put the burden on single adults to set up single adults ministries and fund raise for single adult ministries.

To put this another way, many churches expect that older single adults who want more attention and effort poured into older single adults at the church will be told to take the matter into their own hands and to create and maintain singles classes and singles activities, rather than the church making it happen.

Most of you churches these days behave like international secular corporations, like a McDonald’s, where you cater to various special interest groups  (such as married couples, divorced adults, people in addiction recovery, or millennials or gen Z), but you’re telling me, you hypocrites, you cannot be bothered to view older single adults as another interest group you would be willing to market to and serve? That makes no sense.

I’m sorry, but no. That is complete hypocrisy.

If your church (like many churches) has classes, social functions, pot luck meals, and sermons devoted regularly to ‘married- with- children couples’ and THEIR particular needs and concerns,
and you don’t demand that married members set up these classes and provide elbow grease to other married couples (and you don’t), it’s totally hypocritical and infuriating to demand that single adults do the heavy lifting for single adult ministries.

If your church is willing to pick up the slack and provide services to married couples (and all of you do this, because you WORSHIP parenthood, natalism, marriage and the Nuclear Family), you can damn well also cater to the needs and interests of older single (and childless) adults as well, and stop asking the single adults to sponsor, create, manage or maintain the programs in place for older single adults.

Another news flash for churches and preachers:

You’re not going to diminish the phenomenon of delayed marriage or the increasing number of single adults by doing any of the following
(which you’ve tried before for over a decade now, these approaches do not work, and actually drive singles away from churches AND from the faith itself, in some cases):

  • shaming or criticizing single adults for being single and assuming they are still single because they are failures, losers, ugly, fat, too picky, selfish, or man-hating, career-obsessed feminists,
  • by yelling at them to run out and marry right away
    (that is not how marriage actually happens);
  • wrongly thinking dating sites are an instant solution to finding a mate, so advising all the Christian singles you know to “just try dating sites like e-Harmony!”,
  • lecturing adult singles over the age of 30 on the so-called wonders of The Nuclear Family and marriage
    (as though the reason they’re not married yet is that they dislike, or don’t value, marriage or The Nuclear Family – eye roll),
  • telling single adults bogus how- to- get- married advice that does not work
    (such as, ‘Just trust in the Lord, pray, wait, have faith, and in due time, He will send you a spouse!,’
    ‘Once you’re content in your singleness is when God will send you a spouse,’ etc)
  • refusing to help marriage-minded single adults who’d like to get married opportunities at church to meet other marriage-minded singles for the express purpose of dating leading to marriage
    (i.e., saying that doing so would make church a “meat market,” that church’s only purpose is to “worship the Lord”),
    or
  • patronizingly instructing older single adults that their only or main purpose so long as single is to act as free labor to the church or to society in general (eg., to act as free babysitters to the married- couples- with- children, to act as free maid service to mop the church’s kitchen floor, etc).

(Link): Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries

August 16, 2022
By Marissa Postell

As the number of single adults in the United States continues to grow, so does the need for ministry to single adults in churches.

According to a 2020 profile of single Americans by Pew Research Center, nearly 1 in 4 (23%) U.S. adults ages 30-49 are single—not married, living with a partner or in a committed romantic relationship.

And the 2021 U.S. Census Bureau data on America’s Families and Living Arrangements reveals many of these have never been married.

Continue reading “Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries”

Texas Family Dines At North Carolina Waffle House, Then Robs It

Texas Family Dines At North Carolina Waffle House, Then Robs It

Another example below of how marriage does NOT make society any better, nor does marriage make everyone more mature, ethical, and godly – as so many pro-Nuclear Family, pro-marriage Christians and conservatives repeatedly claim.

(Link): Texas family dines at North Carolina Waffle House, then robs it: police 

July 14, 2022
By Bradford Betz, Fox News

A Texas family who sat down for a meal at a Waffle House in North Carolina Monday before robbing it has been arrested, police said.

The Hillsborough police announced the arrest of the suspects on Wednesday, saying they received assistance from the Cleveland County Sheriff’s Office and the US Marshals Service.

Continue reading “Texas Family Dines At North Carolina Waffle House, Then Robs It”

Florida Man Allegedly Killed His In-Laws While His Wife was Out of Town – Recorded the Incident and Showed His Wife

Florida Man Allegedly Killed His In-Laws While His Wife was Out of Town – Recorded the Incident and Showed His Wife

What a sociopathic, vile, piece of sh*t.

And, again: marriage does not, contrary to all the “pro nuclear family, pro marriage” groups and individuals keep arguing, make people or society more godly, mature, ethical, or responsible.

This is also another example that contrary to all those Christian dating and “how to get married” advice articles I used to see back in the 1980s and 1990s, God, if He exists, it not insisting you meet some set of criteria before he will allow you to marry – if God is permitting pieces of garbage like this guy to marry, I can tell you, this same God is not very likely to be holding a higher or different set of standards for you (or for me)

(Link): Double murder suspect: ‘They’re not there.. I killed them.. They’re dead.. Kill me!’

July 6, 2022

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (CBS12) — In the living room, a man “laying on his back with severe blunt force trauma to his face.”

In the back bedroom, a woman “positioned on the bed nude on her knees with severe blunt force trauma on her torso, arms and face.” She also had a laceration on her back.

…According to the arrest report, the deputies got there at about 8:40 p.m. for an armed domestic dispute. “Upon their arrival at the scene, the suspect, identified as Guillermo Silva, 57, was being held down by the [surviving victim]. Deputies detained Silva and conducted a sweep of the residence where [the two other victims] were located” and pronounced dead.

The detective who wrote the report said the manner of death was “an apparent homicide. Silva was transported to [the hospital] where he was treated for minor injuries received from an altercation with [the surviving victim] before deputies arrived at the scene.”

That surviving victim, who had driven up from Lake Worth, had some sort of relationship with the dead man and woman.

(Link):  Florida Man – Guillermo Silva  –  Allegedly Killed His In-Laws While His Wife was Out of Town – Recorded the Incident and Showed His Wife

On the night of July 2, 2022, Palm Beach County deputies reported to a deceased person call on Cherry Road.

There they found the bodies of Lagos’ parents.

Both bodies received blunt force trauma to the head and face but the mother was found “positioned on the bed nude on her knees with severe blunt force trauma on her torso, arms and face,” according to the Sheriff’s Office.

Continue reading “Florida Man Allegedly Killed His In-Laws While His Wife was Out of Town – Recorded the Incident and Showed His Wife”

Vegan Mom Starved Toddler to Death with Diet of Raw Vegetables, Fruit

Vegan Mom Starved Toddler to Death with Diet of Raw Vegetables, Fruit

There is nothing intrinsic in being a parent that makes a person more ethical, intelligent, godly, loving, or responsible than not being a parent, contrary to hyper pro-Nuclear Family, pro-parenthood conservatives such as but not limited to Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox, and others.

(Link): Vegan mother is found guilty over death of 18-month-old son

A vegan mother has been found guilty of murder for the death of her 18-month-old son who weighed just 17lbs when he died in 2019 after a short life being fed only fruit, vegetables and breastmilk.

Sheila O’Leary, 39, was convicted of a jury in Cape Coral, Florida, on Tuesday after a week-long trial.

She is now facing life behind bars and will be sentenced on July 25. Her son Ezra died in 2019 from complications caused by malnutrition.

Doctors found he hadn’t been fed for a week by the time he died in September 2019.

Sheila and her husband, who has also been charged with murder and is waiting trial, called 911 after Ezra stopped breathing.

Paramedics pronounced the toddler dead at the scene. They also examined the couple’s older three children.

(Link): Vegan mom starved toddler to death with diet of raw vegetables, fruit

July 1, 2022
by Emily Crane

A Florida vegan mother has been found guilty of murdering her 18-month-old son after only feeding him raw fruits and vegetables.

Sheila O’Leary, 39, is facing life in prison after a jury convicted her Wednesday of murder and a string of child abuse charges over the 2019 death of her toddler, Ezra O’Leary, the News Press reported.

Her little boy weighed just 17 pounds — seven pounds below average — when his parents noticed he had stopped breathing.

Continue reading “Vegan Mom Starved Toddler to Death with Diet of Raw Vegetables, Fruit”

Mother Kills Her Three Children, Self After Husband Commits Suicide – Being a Part of a Nuclear Family Isn’t a Guarantee of Happiness

Mother Kills Her Three Children, Self After Husband Commits Suicide – Being a Part of a Nuclear Family Isn’t a Guarantee of Happiness

Looks like being married with children is not a guarantee of happiness, joy, or fulfillment – as some aspects of secular culture and goodness knows conservatives keep pushing.

(Link): Mother kills her 3 children, self after husband commits suicide

by C. Weil
July 7, 2022

Tragedy compounded tragedy compounded tragedy in Minnesota last week when a woman allegedly killed her three children and then herself after her husband killed himself earlier that same day.

At about 10:30 a.m. local time Friday morning, the Maplewood Police Department said police received a call from Molly Cheng, 23, who claimed that her husband, Yee Lee, 27, had shot himself. Authorities arranged for social workers to go to the home to help the family, but soon afterward, a relative called 911 to say that Cheng might harm herself or her children.

Continue reading “Mother Kills Her Three Children, Self After Husband Commits Suicide – Being a Part of a Nuclear Family Isn’t a Guarantee of Happiness”

Long Island Man Angel Tacuri Gets 20 Years for  Sexually Abusing Eight Children at Wife’s Day Care

Long Island Man Angel Tacuri Gets 20 Years for  Sexually Abusing Eight Children at Wife’s Day Care

Does being a parent or a spouse automatically make a person more ethical, godly, responsible, or mature? No.

It sure does not… though some conservatives who are obsessed with marriage and the nuclear family and shaming anyone who is single and childless would try to convince one otherwise.

(Link): LI man Angel Tacuri gets 20 years for sexually abusing 8 children at wife’s day care

June 16, 2022
By Larry Celona and  David Propper

A Long Island man was slapped with a 20-year prison term after he admitted to sexually abusing children at his wife’s at-home day care.

Angel Tacuri, 53, pleaded guilty to sexually abusing eight kids from ages 3 to 10 and was sentenced Thursday, according to the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office.

The perverted behavior took place for five years starting in 2010 inside his wife’s unlicensed business.

District Attorney Raymond Tierney assailed the creepy convict for the way he “traumatized” innocent kids.

“This defendant took the innocence of small children and traumatized them in the process to satisfy his depraved desires and that is something they will never have back,” Tierney said in a statement.

Continue reading “Long Island Man Angel Tacuri Gets 20 Years for  Sexually Abusing Eight Children at Wife’s Day Care”

Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis – Many Conservatives Will Cave In to Today’s Progressive Causes in Another Five to Ten Years

Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis – Many Conservatives Will Cave In to Today’s Progressive Causes in Another Five to Ten Years

Below this link with excerpts, I will offer a few comments:

Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis

Excerpts:

by Michael Warren Davis

The GOP should surrender once again, this time on the rainbow flag

June 28, 2022

[The author begins by describing the changes to the homosexual “Pride” flag, which began with the colors of the rainbow, but which has been changed the last year or two by progressives to include design elements to reflect Transgender persons and other sexualities. The author says that his town is flying the old-school, traditional “Pride” rainbow flag on main street, rather than the updated version of the flag with the Trans colors, etc, in it.]

… What’s infinitely more likely, though, is that gays and lesbians have been passé since Obergefell v. Hodges was decided in 2015. Most of the left’s talking points now revolve almost exclusively around blacks and transsexuals. It’s an attempt to represent the whole progressivist movement in a single banner. That’s what “intersectionality” means. Black is queer, and queer is black.

… Couldn’t it be argued that anyone flying an old rainbow flag in 2022 is dog-whistling to the far-right?prideFlag - Copy

The old rainbow flag has essentially become a reactionary symbol. What if the Republican Party claimed it as its own?

Continue reading “Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis – Many Conservatives Will Cave In to Today’s Progressive Causes in Another Five to Ten Years”

Man Whose Children Were Killed by Drunk Driver Commits Suicide a Day After Father’s Day

Man Whose Children Were Killed by Drunk Driver Commits Suicide a Day After Father’s Day

I skimmed the article; it doesn’t say what drove this man’s anxiety and suicidal ideation, so I’m not sure if his kids being killed by a drunk driver is what pushed his mental health the wrong way, or if they were pre-existing conditions.

Regardless, although this guy was married with children, his children were killed, so being married and a parent was not a guarantee of constant happiness for him.

Being married, and I guess a father, didn’t bring him inner peace, joy, and all the other things so many conservatives (like Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox) say it will bring.

You can get married and have children and still be depressed or have other mental health problems, or your loved ones can still die.

Very sad story.

(Link): Man whose children were killed by drunk driver commits suicide a day after Father’s Day

by Jesse O’Neill

A Canadian dad whose three children were killed by a drunk driver in 2015 took his own life in the hours after Father’s Day.

Edward Lake’s wife Jennifer Neville-Lake shared the tragic news about her husband along with a photo of their three children — Daniel, Harry and Milly, who were 9, 5 and 2 when they died in the crash.

…A day before she shared a post with a picture of the children’s graves

Continue reading “Man Whose Children Were Killed by Drunk Driver Commits Suicide a Day After Father’s Day”

When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

I just blogged about this very topic just yesterday, June 25 (today is June 26) when I saw this video on You Tube today! Talk about coincidental timing!

So this psychologist, Dr. Ramani, made this 11.54 video (I’ll embed it below, you can also watch it on You Tube here) who discusses a letter by a woman married to a guy who uses (fake) illness as an excuse to leave social functions early.

The woman said her husband has a habit of faking sickness to get out of social obligations or to depart them early.

Well, the woman’s kid sister was turning 18, the family was throwing a birthday party / dinner for the young lady, and this married woman had her husband go with her.

The husband said he didn’t want to go, but the wife wouldn’t take No for an answer on this one – the husband never wanted to go to parties, and she seemed to feel like the husband would or could make an exception for this, since it was for her kid sister.

So they go to the party, the husband vomits on purpose while at the party but makes it look as though he’s sick – all so he can leave the party early and force his wife to go with him.

The psychologist who is discussing this story (she’s reading from a letter the woman wrote asking for advice) points out that so many people are quick to tell people like the woman who wrote this letter “to have boundaries,” which the woman tried on her (probably narcissistic) husband, but he didn’t heed her boundaries and instead actually doubled down on his obnoxious behavior.

I’ve seen several of Dr. Ramani’s videos before, she’s quite good, and I like her, but I always cringe a little when I hear mental health professionals who specialize in narcissism (as she does) sort of denigrate the concept of having boundaries, which she sort of does in the video embedded below.

Boundaries Usually Work And Are A Good Thing To Have

I spent 35 or so years (Link): as a severe codependent.

I believe boundaries are very important and can be life-saving and can improve one’s mental health.

Boundaries may not work in all situations or with all people, true enough, but by and large, boundaries DO work with most people and most situations and can save your self esteem, energy, mental health, and possibly your bank account in the long run.

Continue reading “When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc”