Teacher Reveals How a Man She Was Polite to at a Restaurant STALKED Her for THREE MONTHS

Teacher Reveals How a Man She Was Polite to at a Restaurant STALKED Her for THREE MONTHS

This has been a big problem in my life, and I’m sure many other women have encountered the same issue: your friendliness or mere politeness is often mistaken by men for flirtation, or is taken advantage of by super desperate, socially awkward men.

I’ve discussed before my 3 plus decades of having a super sweet, codependent nature. Additionally, as far back as my pre-teen years, I was the girl who felt sorry for the odd-ball kids who sat by themselves in the cafeteria at lunch, so though I was pretty shy myself, I’d occasionally say a few kind words to some of those types of kids. Some of them were boys, and frequently, they’d mistake my kindness for flirtation and start acting flirty with me and following me around.

All of that, as well as my openness when discussing my own issues at times on blogs like this one, has made me an attractive target to mentally damaged, depressed, or covert narcissistic people who approach me online and start to cling to me to get their emotional needs met. It’s exhausting and can be creepy depending on how stalker-ish and insistent the person is.

I’ve since learned to be assertive, have boundaries, and be more careful about who I allow into my life.

Anyway, a lot of men out there – of all ages – need to understand that just because a woman is being polite to you, being friendly, or making platonic, pleasant conversation, does NOT necessarily mean she is interested in you romantically or that she wants to date you, so stop creeping women out with your behavior!

If you’re interested romantically in the woman, be straight up and tell her so, and ask her if you can take her out to dinner or a coffee or a movie some time, and if she says no, or appears uninterested, then back off.

(Link): Teacher reveals how a man she was polite to at a restaurant STALKED her for THREE MONTHS, saying he tracked down her email and showed up at her school claiming to be an ‘old friend’

Jan. 13, 2023

A woman has opened up about how she was stalked by a random man for three months after being polite to him in a restaurant, saying he showed up at her workplace twice claiming to be an ‘old friend.’

Patty Brem, 44, from California, shared her terrifying story on Twitter last month as a warning to both men and women. The teacher explained that the stranger tracked her down after she naively told him what high school she worked at.

‘This experience has forever changed how I will act with strangers,’ she told BuzzFeed. ‘I will never give out personal information, even if it seems innocent. I feel like I will always have my guard up from here on out, rather than willingly being friendly.’

In her series of tweets, she recalled how she met the man at a salsa bar nearly two hours away from her house and had a polite yet brief conversation with him.

‘He asked where I was from and what I did for work and I told him. He was familiar with the city I live in and asked which school I taught at, so I mentioned the name,’ she wrote. ‘Turns out, he was familiar and refs some of my school’s football games.’

Brem said she told him to ‘have a good night’ before she sat down to have dinner with her sister, who later noticed the guy checking her out. He and his friend ended up sitting at the table next to theirs.

They made polite conversation and exchanged first names before they finished their dinner and drove home.

‘A couple of weeks go by and I get an email in my WORK inbox from the dude asking me to go out sometime,’ she shared. ‘I never gave him my email address, number, or even my last name. I am slightly creeped out, but don’t reply, delete, and move on with my life.’

Brem received another email from him a few weeks later. This time, he said that he had recently refereed one of her school’s games and was ‘bummed’ she wasn’t there.

Once again, she deleted his email without replying because she didn’t want to encourage him.

On December 13, she was having a conversation with her principal and vice principal when the school administrator came in and said her ‘old friend’ was at the school and wanted to ‘say hi’ to her.

Continue reading “Teacher Reveals How a Man She Was Polite to at a Restaurant STALKED Her for THREE MONTHS”

Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships

Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships

(Link): Digital disloyalty: Study says online flirting can destroy real-life relationships

July 2022
by John Anderer

HERZLIYA, Israel — Some consider flirting harmless, but new research suggests flirting online can ruin a real-life relationship.

Scientists at Reichman University report flirty online interactions with someone who isn’t your romantic partner can have a subtle, unconscious effect on how that person perceives their real-life loved ones.

In other words, flirting online may lead to someone seeing their partner as less attractive.

Continue reading “Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships”

Women Are Sharing The “Normal” Behaviors They’ve Been Forced To Change So They Don’t “Lead Men On,” And I Can’t Believe We’re Still Having This Conversation In 2021 by BuzzFeed

Women Are Sharing The “Normal” Behaviors They’ve Been Forced To Change So They Don’t “Lead Men On,” And I Can’t Believe We’re Still Having This Conversation In 2021 by BuzzFeed

(Link): Women Are Sharing The “Normal” Behaviors They’ve Been Forced To Change So They Don’t “Lead Men On,” And I Can’t Believe We’re Still Having This Conversation In 2021

Not too long ago, we wrote up a viral Reddit thread where women shared the behaviors they’ve had to change around men so they don’t get accused of “leading them on.” And, because society is a nightmare, there were even more upsetting responses from women in the BuzzFeed Community. Here are their stories:

Warning: This post discusses verbal harassment, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and mentions of stalking that may be disturbing to some readers.

    1. “When I was very pregnant, I had a guy block my car because he was ‘into pregnant women.’ So, apparently, being pregnant is an invite for harassment.”

2. “I was once told that I was acting provocatively by just smiling at a man. There are so many things I’m afraid to do. I’m just afraid to be around them in general, TBH. I think I’ve earned that right as a trauma survivor.”
—zombiedolllizkah

Continue reading “Women Are Sharing The “Normal” Behaviors They’ve Been Forced To Change So They Don’t “Lead Men On,” And I Can’t Believe We’re Still Having This Conversation In 2021 by BuzzFeed”

Can You Tell When Someone is Flirting? Researchers Classify the Most Effective Facial Cues Including Slight Smiles and Head Tilts

Can You Tell When Someone is Flirting? Researchers Classify the Most Effective Facial Cues Including Slight Smiles and Head Tilts

I remember reading a study in a copy of Reader’s Digest sometime in the 1990s, or maybe in the early 2000s, where researchers found that most men confuse platonic gestures or comments by women to be sexual or flirtatious.

As for me personally, I’ve had many men over my life confuse and mistake my platonic chit-chat or simple politeness as being flirting – then they start “hitting” on me, asking me out – and I hate it. It causes me to get annoyed and clam up. I did point blank tell one guy who did this to me one time that I was NOT flirting with him, I was just chit chatting.

(Link): Can You Tell When Someone is Flirting? Researchers Classify the Most Effective Facial Cues Including Slight Smiles and Head Tilts

by Dan Avery
Sept 14, 2020

When it comes to flirting, it’s all in a look.

Women give specific facial cues when they’re flirting, according to researchers at the University of Kansas.

The team used the Facial Action Coding System (FACS) to identify the most recognizable flirtatious facial expressions.

The technology, which describes facial movements, showed the most effective flirting cues include a head turned to one side and tilted down slightly, a slight smile, and eyes turned forward toward the target.

Continue reading “Can You Tell When Someone is Flirting? Researchers Classify the Most Effective Facial Cues Including Slight Smiles and Head Tilts”

Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel

Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel

(Link): Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel

Ever since sexual harassment has become a widely discussed topic, there have been people complaining about how the #MeToo movement has ruined flirting.

This was especially the case after the allegations against Aziz Ansari were made in January 2018.

But no one has managed to sum it up quite as well as comedian Kate Willett, who articulated the clear black-and-white difference between flirting and sexual harassment in a Facebook post that has since gone viral.

Continue reading “Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel”

Quiz: Science Finds Most Men Misread Whether A Woman is Sexually Interested. Do You? by M. Tabb

Quiz: Science Finds Most Men Misread Whether A Woman is Sexually Interested. Do You? by M. Tabb

For kicks and giggles, I took this quiz (link to it way below), even though I am a woman.

I got five out of six correct, and the one I missed, I missed by one degree – I rated the woman in the photo as being “sort of” interested, but she was either one step above or below that, I forget which.

But, I didn’t totally confuse one for the other – in other words, the woman in the photo WAS sending body language indicating she was flirting, her body language and facial expression was not saying she was not flirting.

It seems that the results of this study show that most men get it totally wrong one way or the other, not degrees.

I read about a study similar to this one many years ago, in a 1990s copy of “Reader’s Digest.” That study said most men misinterpret a woman’s non-romantic, non-flirty, non-sexual gestures (such as blowing her nose or whatever) as being a flirtation, when it’s anything but.

I honestly feel a lot of you men have huge egos, and the culture coddles you in this – the culture encourages all men, no matter how ugly, dumb, and dumpy to think all women are “into” them or SHOULD be. It’s so sexist and revolting.

I’ve had many men in my past who mistook my platonic “hello there, how are you” as flirtation. It’s so incredibly annoying.

(Link): Quiz: Science finds most men misread whether a woman is sexually interested. Do you?

Is she interested? That’s the question scientists (Link): just asked a bunch of men.

Researchers at the University of Iowa had men look at photos of women and rate their perceived sexual interest on a scale of -10 (extremely rejecting) to 10 (extremely interested).

Continue reading “Quiz: Science Finds Most Men Misread Whether A Woman is Sexually Interested. Do You? by M. Tabb”