Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

This raises several points I’ve been pointing out here on this blog for years:

(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having

Excerpts:

by Mimi Haddard
June 4, 2019

Recently, my graduate students discussed how US culture sometimes idolizes sex. Citing a friend, one said, “the orgasm has replaced the cross as the place of transcendence in 21st century American culture.”

A recent study suggested that, though casual sex is more accepted than ever, loneliness is too.

 Twenty-seven percent of Americans feel isolated, but loneliness is far worse among eighteen to twenty-two year-olds, followed by Millennials. The least lonely were Americans aged seventy-two and older—those having fewer sexual encounters.

Western culture often celebrates eros (romantic or sexual love) exclusively, but Scripture speaks of four distinct types of love: storge (love for those who are familiar, such as family, neighbors, coworkers, etc.), agape (God’s love), philia (love between kindred spirits), and eros.

Continue reading “Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard”

China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids

China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids

(Link): China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids

A once-in-a-decade population census has shown that births in China have fallen to their lowest level since the 1960s – leading to calls for an end to birth control policies. But some in China say these policies aren’t the only thing that’s stopping them.

Despite being hassled by her mum about it, Beijing resident Lili* is not planning to have children any time soon.

The 31-year-old, who has been married for two years, wants to “live my life” without the “constant worries” of raising a child.

“I have very few peers who have children, and if they do, they’re obsessed about getting the best nanny or enrolling the kids in the best schools. It sounds exhausting.”

Lili spoke to the BBC on condition of anonymity, noting that her mother would be devastated if she knew how her daughter felt.

But this difference of opinion between the generations reflects the changing attitudes of many young urban Chinese toward childbirth.

Continue reading “China: The Men Who Are Single And the Women Who Don’t Want Kids”

Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson

Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson

(Link): Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson

Excerpts:

Not sure about motherhood? You aren’t alone.

Author and activist Rachel Cargle didn’t always realize that she would want to lead a child-free lifestyle. In fact, the Brooklyn-based writer told TODAY Parents that the decision to choose a life without kids wasn’t something she ever really considered growing up.

“I was, very much so, intent on checking the boxes of job, marriage, kids, and so I can’t say that I would fit in the ‘I’ve always known’ category,” the 32-year-old said. “I was under the impression that motherhood was a requisite of my womanhood, and so my desire to be a mother was auto-piloted based on that. It took a lot of honest observation and considerate introspection to both come to the decision and to be able to vocalize it.”

Cargle is among a growing number of women who are choosing not to have children, with many saying they prefer the term “child-free” to “childless” because it fits their feelings about motherhood more accurately.

Their decisions are part of a larger trend: In 2018, the number of (Link): babies born in the U.S. fell to the lowest level in 32 years, and the (Link): rate has been declining steadily ever since.

Continue reading “Child-Free By Choice: Why Many Women Are Intentionally Opting Out of Parenthood by Kait Hanson”

Families Marry off Daughters to Ease Finances Amid COVID-19

Families Marry off Daughters to Ease Finances Amid COVID-19

(Link): Families Marry off Daughters to Ease Finances Amid COVID-19

Excerpts:

by Krista Larson
December 2020

KOIDU, Sierra Leone (AP) — The man first caught a glimpse of Marie Kamara as she ran with her friends past his house near the village primary school. Soon after, he proposed to the fifth-grader.

“I’m going to school now. I don’t want to get married and stay in the house,” she told him.

But the pressures of a global pandemic on this remote corner of Sierra Leone were greater than the wishes of a schoolgirl. Nearby mining operations had slowed with the global economy. Business fell off at her stepfather’s tailoring shop, where outfits he had sewn now gathered dust. The family needed money.

Continue reading “Families Marry off Daughters to Ease Finances Amid COVID-19”

Birth Rates Will Drop, People Will Stay Single Longer…. Scientists Predict How Society Will Change in a Post-COVID World

Birth Rates Will Drop, People Will Stay Single Longer…. Scientists Predict How Society Will Change in a Post-COVID World

(Link): Birth rates will drop, people will stay single for longer and women will sexualise themselves more: Scientists predict how society will change in a post-COVID world

Excerpts:

October 2020

Psychological fallout from the pandemic will cause birth rates to drop, people to stay single for longer and women to sexualise themselves more, experts have predicted.

Experts from the US reviewed 90 studies to help them predict how COVID-19 could shift social behaviours and gender norms — even among those not infected.

They expect planned pregnancies to decrease in response to the global health crisis as people defer marriage and kids, leading some nations’ populations to shrink.

Continue reading “Birth Rates Will Drop, People Will Stay Single Longer…. Scientists Predict How Society Will Change in a Post-COVID World”

Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested

Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested

This sounds like both a Christian gender complementarian nightmare AND a dream.

From the male complementarian perspective, it would be a nightmare to live without sex because the sexist douche bags (i.e., Christian complementarians) are entitled and have no concept of self sacrifice, self control, nor have any of them heard of masturbation.

The “dream” part is the notion that their wife would be imprisoned or put to death for having refused to “put out.”

This is the nightmare AND dream of sexist jackasses such as, but not limited to, Douglas Wilson, John Piper, Owen Strachan, Al Mohler, and Mark Driscoll.

(Link): Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested

Geeta Parmar has been arrested in Gujarat, India, after her mother-in-law blamed her for the death of husband Surendrasinh, who reportedly took his own life last month

The grieving widow faces charges in India following a criminal complaint by the man’s mother.

Continue reading “Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested”

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Single women get slammed with the reverse stereotype as what this author  describes about unmarried men in this editorial: we’re (single women) all expected to be really maternal, even if we find babies and children annoying and weird and prefer the company of adults only. 

I have other posts on my blog with articles about the negative stereotypes that culture and married people have about singles – and ones that pertain to single women.

For example, some restaurants with bars (Link): forbid single women from sitting at the bar, because the management insultingly assumes any woman sitting alone at the bar is a prostitute (I am not joking). See the links under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page for more such unfortunate examples.

(Link): Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Excerpts:

The widespread mockery and suspicion of Gaetz’s relationship with Nestor isn’t just due to the congressman’s personality, however; it reflects sexist assumptions about parenthood.

Continue reading “Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi”

The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links

The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links

If you want to get right to it, here’s the main link:

(Link): The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake by David Brooks  – via The Atlantic (off site link)

Before I paste in excerpts from that editorial by David Brooks below, I wanted to say a few words, and I will be pasting in any relevant links about the Brooks piece even farther below that.

I’ve been saying on this blog FOR YEARS many of the same things that Brooks has outlined in his essay.

Some of what I’ve been saying on this blog for years now includes:
that Christians and conservatives have turned Marriage and The Nuclear Family into idols,
that they have placed weight upon both that the Bible never did, and in the process of advocating marriage, these conservatives and Christians have marginalized the never-married, the divorced, the widowed and the childless or childfree among them, and this is wrong.

The Bible does not teach that marriage – or parenting – are going to “fix” society, or that being married or becoming a parent is necessary to make a person into a moral, upstanding, responsible individual.

If you’re a conservative or a Christian who keeps sounding the alarm about falling marriage rates, you need to accept reality for what it is: most people now are either single and childless by choice or by circumstance.

The United States is simply never going back to the June and Ward Cleaver family structures in mass droves that existed in the 1950s; (Link): so get over it already, and stop trying to punish or guilt trip anyone and everyone who doesn’t marry or have children.

Continue reading “The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links”

‘I Prefer Cleaning My House Than Having Sex’ -various women talk about how they prefer house cleaning to having sex

‘I prefer cleaning my house than having sex’

(Link): Meet four women who prefer cleaning the house to having sex with their partners

CLEANING is the new sex – that’s what Jessie J says, anyway.

The Do It Like A Dude singer, who is in an on-off relationship with Magic Mike actor Channing Tatum, said: “Cooking, organising and sex are my favourite things, in that order.”

The 31-year-old said tidying was her “love language”, and she’s not the only celebrity who has taken to this new kind of clean living.

Continue reading “‘I Prefer Cleaning My House Than Having Sex’ -various women talk about how they prefer house cleaning to having sex”

People Keep Dying or Getting Injured Due to Stupid Gender Reveal Parties

People Keep Dying or Getting Injured Due to Stupid Gender Reveal Parties

At least one to two people have died or have been injured within the last few weeks due to these moronic and totally unnecessary “gender reveal” parties.

Gender reveal parties are dumb.

Here are links to editorials and news stories about these deaths:

(Link): A woman died at a gender reveal party. But it has long been clear this fad is out of control.

At some point, this all feels like it’s less about the baby and far more about the parents loudly pledging public allegiance to gender norms.

…Yes, you read correctly: A 56-year-old woman was killed instantly last weekend when a homemade contraption crafted to send pink or blue powder into the atmosphere at a gender reveal party accidentally exploded like a pipe bomb, traveling hundreds of feet and striking the woman in the head and killing her.

Continue reading “People Keep Dying or Getting Injured Due to Stupid Gender Reveal Parties”

Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin

Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin

I have some new developments in my personal life that have kept me busy the last month or two, which is why I’ve not been blogging as often.

During this time, I do recall seeing comments on other people’s blogs and on Twitter, about some idiotic, sexist, stupid book that “Focus On The Family” was recommending or selling.

Here is a page about the book by Tina Konkin that created an uproar:

(Link): How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage After Infidelity via Focus On The Family site

Excerpts about that book from the site:

In How God Used “the Other Woman,” Konkin shares how she and her husband Ron saved their marriage after his affair and fought to make it better than ever before.
——

I am horrified to see that this Tina Konkin works as (or claims to be) (Link): a “relationship expert.”

This awful book of hers is also being sold at Wal-Mart.

From what I can recall, it’s a book for Christian wives that tells them how to approach their husband or their marriage if and whenever their husband should commit adultery,
and their view is that you, you Christian wife, should blame yourself for  your husband’s adultery, don’t hold him accountable, and just write off the situation as a learning experience.

Below you will find a few links or videos to work by other people refuting such a disgusting viewpoint.

Before I get to those resources, though, I wanted to point out how utterly hypocritical these conservative secular and conservative Christian groups are, who proclaim they respect women, and marriage, and The Nuclear Family. Continue reading “Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin”

Study: Men Think About Sports More Than Sex by J. Gratton

Study: Men Think About Sports More Than Sex by J. Gratton

Yet another article that blows holes in the stupid complementarian books, podcasts, and sermons male pastors love to give that assume that all men think about sex all the time.

(Link): MYTH BUSTER Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds – we’re more likely to be thinking about football instead 

May 14, 2019

Almost 65 per cent of lads [men] admitted to thinking about football more than sex, a new study has revealed

IT’S a well accepted idea that men typically think about sex every seven seconds.

But according to a new study that’s a myth – we’re far more likely to have football on our minds.

Some 64 per cent of men think about football more than they do sex, with just eight per cent of lads admitting they think about romping all the time.

Continue reading “Study: Men Think About Sports More Than Sex by J. Gratton”