Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Below this article, I have a lot of comments, before I resume with providing another link related to this first one:

(Link): Woman says why she’s rejecting these ‘lonely, single men’

Aug 18, 2022
By Jana Hocking, News.com.au

Unless you were hiding under a rock this week, you would have read about an article published on Psychology Today titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

It was written by psychologist, Greg Matos, and revealed that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

The psychologist explained that women are now only dating men who share the same values, have great communication skills and are emotionally available. Praise the lord!

Toxic men are out, respectful studs are in.

Now first of all, may we get out our violins and play a sad melody for the men who have treated women like absolute rubbish and then realized that they’re now single and alone. How unfair for these poor creatures.

You see, while they were bed-hopping, ghosting, breadcrumbing and doing all sort of mind f–kery to us women folk, we were quietly, and subtly embracing this ‘self love’ culture that started to emerge in TED Talks, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, and various other online forms.

Oprah preached: “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better’. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.”

Continue reading “Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness”

Victim Blaming Codependents, or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors

Victim Blaming Codependents or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors

The concept of Codependency is not victim-blaming.

The concept of Codependency does not pathologize domestic abuse survivors,  targets of narcissistic abuse, or other victims of other types of abuse, contrary to a lot of online rhetoric I have seen, and I don’t care what psychiatrist with what degree behind his name has stated things like, “Codependency is victim blaming and pathologizing!” – that psychiatrist, despite his eight years in medical school, is wrong.

He is wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong.

I disagree with him entirely. And I do not have to have a medical degree to see where he’s wrong, and to know that he’s wrong.

I am a recovered codependent, and I remain astounded at people, especially therapists, psychologists, and abuse survivor advocates, who should know better, who never-the-less keep peddling this trope that the concept of Codependency is victim blaming, or it’s too broad in scope to be of much use.

(There are actually other mental health professionals out there who do not believe that Codependency is useless, too broad, or that it pathologizes anyone.)

A few months ago, when news stories about Anna Duggar were more prominent – she’s married to convicted child pornography user Josh Duggar, former reality television show star
– and then, a little later, when so-called abuse survivor advocates, such as Ashley Easter started commenting on that and victim blaming Anna Dugggar, and Amy Smith of Watchkeep began attacking journalist Julie Roys, I kept seeing these people, and others who follow them, showcase a very stunning misunderstanding of, or in some cases, a lack of awareness of, Codependency.

I may in the future do more posts – ones specific to Ashley Easter, Anna Duggar, and the Amy Smith – Julie Roys fiasco from months back – but for this post, I wanted to address this topic via at least two videos I saw on Dr. Ramani’s You Tube Channel.

Dr. Ramani is a psychologist who specializes in treating victims of narcissistic abuse.

I actually like Dr. Ramani quite a bit, and I’ve seen and listened to many of her videos. I like her on a personal level, and I think she’s quite astute.

I do  not feel comfortable being critical of someone who I usually agree with often, and who I find to be personable, but Dr. Ramani made a few comments in some of her videos here and there, pertaining to codependency, which I didn’t entirely agree with.

And no, I myself do not have to be a psychologist or have a mental health degree to form opinions or conclusions based upon what I hear and see!

While I do not have a mental health degree, I am college educated, and I did spend the past several years researching mental health topics. I did take psychology courses in college, but that is not what I earned my degree in.

So, I may not be an “expert” on mental health topics (in a degreed sense), but I am not an entirely uninformed person.

Continue reading “Victim Blaming Codependents, or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors”

Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?

Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?

Way below, I will link to and discuss yet another unfortunate editorial from conservative site The Federalist which again incorrectly conflates “womanhood” with motherhood,  as if there’s an assumption that all conservative women are married with children
(hint: we are not. Some of us conservative women are single and childless. I am no less a woman, or no less a conservative, merely because I am childless and single).

It seems as though The Federalist, like many other conservative sites, pumps out at least one of these
“womanhood = motherhood and wife, and if you disagree with this assumption, you must be an abortion-supporting, man-hating, Democrat feminist”
type editorials about once a month to once every three months. And they are so tiresome.

Just a few months ago, I wrote this post:

(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

And now here I am again, having to address another one of their, “rah rah marriage and motherhood, being conservative as a woman means being a wife and a mother!” type pieces.

Some conservative authors may concede that it’s possible to be a woman and be single and also be childless and also be a conservative, but one would not know it, from their unrelenting association of womanhood with marital or parental status.

I’m a conservative woman who was raised a gender complementarian Southern Baptist. I rejected complementarianism years ago and no longer consider myself to be a Southern Baptist.

I am not a progressive, a liberal, or a feminist.

I don’t agree with all views of feminists, but at times, I’ve found that other conservatives, in attempting to “own the libs,” or in arguing against feminist perspectives (some which conservatives occasionally caricaturize, which results in strawman arguments), go too far in the other, and equally wrong, direction.

I have nothing against the nuclear family, marriage, or motherhood. However, there is nothing wrong with a person being single and childless, whether by choice or by circumstance.

Yes, some conservative (and non-conservative) women are single by circumstance, and somehow such women are never considered in these excessively pro-motherhood, pro-nuclear family, pro-marriage pieces. More about that:

(Link):  Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

If you’re a Christian – and I think many of the writers at The Federalist are Christian, or at least supportive of Judeo-Christian values – you cannot plausibly defend a hyper-fixation on marriage, the nuclear family, and motherhood (or fatherhood) from the Bible itself.

The Bible actually teaches that spiritual family is of more import than biological family. Jesus of Nazareth taught in the Gospels that if you follow him, you are to place him above your spouse, any children you have, your siblings, your parents, and other biological family.

(See Matthew 12:46-50 and Matthew 10:37,38 for more about how Jesus discouraged his followers from prioritizing biological family or spouse above devotion to God or above spiritual family, as today’s American conservatives tend to do.)

The Bible simply does not teach anyone to “focus on their (biological) family,” nor does the Bible teach that marriage, natalism, parenthood, or the nuclear family will fix a culture or that marriage or parenthood will make a person more godly, ethical, or responsible.

The Bible says that the problem with humanity is sin, that each person is a sinner, and the Bible prescribes belief in Jesus as Savior to be the cure – not marriage or having a baby.

In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul wrote it is better to remain single than to marry:

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do …
(28) …But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

That sure doesn’t sounding like a ringing endorsement of marriage, motherhood, and the nuclear family, the kind I regularly hear from secular and Christian conservatives!

However, too many editorials by conservative sites – Federalist is really bad about this, as are BreakPoint and several others – continue to conflate “godly,” “mature,” patriotic, and good with “being a married mother.”

I’m a conservative woman who never did marry. Not because I am “anti marriage,” but because in spite of all the propaganda I was fed by Southern Baptist and evangelical Christians from the time I was a kid and teen (i.e., if I just had faith, attended church, prayed, etc, that God would send me a husband), and although I followed that evangelical and Baptist teaching, I never-the-less was never sent a spouse.

I did not choose to remain single over my entire life; that is just how my life turned out.

By staying single for as long as I have, and I remain right of center politically, I’ve seen that too many other conservatives, in seeking to correct what they see as liberal or feminist mistakes regarding family and marriage, end up going in error by going in the direct, 180 degree opposite direction, by placing an over-emphasis upon marriage and parenthood.

Here’s a link with excerpts to the editorial from The Federalist, and below, I’ll pick apart where I agree or disagree:

The Editorial by E. Reynolds on The Federalist

(Link): There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right

Excerpts:

by Elle Reynolds
June 15, 2022

… Even at the height of the feminist movement, the lies that women must become like men to be real women were damaging — but now, all pretenses are up.
— end excerpt —

Women Must Become Like Men To Be Real Women?

When Reynolds writes, “… the lies that women must become like men to be real women were damaging,” what does she mean? What does she mean by women “becoming like men?”

I think I know what Reynolds means, and if I am correct, she is most likely referring to gender stereotypes, that women are, or should be, great at relationships, free to show emotion, nurturing, warm, passive, be risk averse, and docile.

(Note that many of these stereotypes for women are the same as hallmarks of codependency.)

Continue reading “Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?”

Men Are Actually Blaming All Women for The Misogynic Progressive ‘Transwoman’ Lunacy – and not crediting feminists who’ve been speaking out on the issue for years – Men Like Rufo and Walsh Don’t Seem to Want to Share the Credit with Women

Men Are Actually Blaming All Women for The Misogynic Progressive ‘Transwoman’ Lunacy – and not crediting feminists who’ve been speaking out on the issue for years – Men Like Rufo and Walsh Don’t Seem to Want to Share the Credit with Women

I am a conservative. I am not a feminist.

I do not support the “woke” agenda, which would include things like denying the biological reality that there are two biological sexes, male and female.

I do not support men who “identify as women” (usually referred to as “transwomen”), especially if they have not undergone “bottom surgery,” being allowed into women’s only spaces, such as women’s prisons, bathrooms, and so forth.

Regardless if some of the wacko gender ideology we see today can be traced back to individual women writers of the 1990s or earlier (who were feminists), not all women can or should be blamed for that in particular, or for today’s out-of-control trans-activism.

Today’s trans activism insanity is, by and large, being carried along by MEN.

There are biological men with autogynephilia (a sexual fetish) and a large, first class case of Narcissism, who are hiding under the fig leaf of Gender Dysphoria to claim, “I’m a woman!,” and to also claim victim status and demand special rights.

That position is being helped along by male and female progressives.

But there are also biological women – of whatever political beliefs – who are opposed to biological men being allowed access into women’s only spaces, and some of them having been speaking out against trans activism going back years now.

And I have no idea what it matters if the numbers are more or less -ie, if there are more woman promoting trans activism or less.

No Studies, Polls, or Stats

One doofus or two who were arguing with me on Twitter earlier today (June 12) were blaming all women, women as a class, with no distinction, and saying the “numbers of women support trans activism outnumber those who speak out against it,” but neither individual cited me or linked me to any studies or polls (reputable or otherwise) to back up these assertions.

Based upon my anecdotal experience, I’ve seen a lot of biological women, and a few men, speaking out against progressive trans activism quite a bit the last few years – on twitter, on blogs, and in online magazine articles.

I’ve personally encountered very few biological women defending trans-insanity, and most of the women I’ve seen are opposed to progressive transgenderism, so I just tweeted back at one of those clowns,
“No, the women who are opposed to it outnumber those who support it.”

I’m sure some women who support leftist trans-activism may exist (there are progressive women (and men) crack pots who also support the quackery that is “anti racism” and “BLM,” after all), but I’ve seen far more speaking out against than in favor.

Some women have been speaking out against trans ideology for years, some for decades.

Ultimately, I’m not sure what difference it makes to argue that there may be more women supporting Trans Lunacy than oppose it… because it’s still unfair and inaccurate to blurt out, to suggest, that “women support it.” No, women are not a monolith on this subject.

As to the women who do oppose Trans Lunacy, some of them have been fighting it for years, before conservative men like Rufo and Walsh jumped on the band wagon.

Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier

One well known speaker and author against trans-insanity is a woman author, Abigail Shrier, who wrote a book about this issue, Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, in 2020, and it was banned from a Irreversible Damage Book Coverfew online book stores for awhile, if I recall correctly.

From a review of Shrier’s book on Psychology Today:

The book posits that a sudden surge in the number of teen girls identifying as trans boys is due not to gender dysphoria or transgenderism but rather to girls with other mental conditions who are mistakenly self-identifying as trans because there is social capital built into marginalized identities.
— end excerpts —

Carlson gave Shrier credit for being among the first to discuss this in the United States (show date; June 14, 2022), see the video in the tweet below:

Men Helped Usher In Trans Activism, Too!

In the United States, we have male Presidents (Obama and Biden), and Governors, (and likely some male Congressmen and Senators) who are pushing for bills or laws to allow biological males who identify as women to be allowed into women’s prisons, locker rooms, and so on.

A small sampling:

(Link):  California Dishing Out Condoms To Female Inmates After Democrat Newsom [who is a man] Forces Them To Live With Men By Gabe Kaminsky

(Link): 20 States Sue Biden Administration For Corrupting Title IX With ‘Gender Identity’ Mumbo Jumbo

(Link): Biden’s [Joe Biden, a man] Title IX Rewrite Could End Women’s Sports, Let Men In Locker Rooms 

(There are also a few male (Republican) governors, such as Stitt and De Santis who are pushing against trans ideology.
But we also have male Democrats, such as Joe Biden and others, futzing around on the definition of “woman” so as to make permissible biological males being legally permitted into women’s bathrooms, sports teams, etc.)

Post Modernism and Gender Ideology

Gender ideology is also part of post-modernism and today’s progressive love of neo-Marxism, which biological men helped to usher in.

Karl Marx, who got this bus rolling, was a man. Marx’s belief in group identity and putting everyone into oppressed classes undergirds a lot of today’s far left’s gender ideology and “woke” politics.

Do I then blame all men of today for the lunacy of progressivism, of the neo-Marxist group identity politics, or say, “men are to blame for Marxism”? No, I don’t. Because that wouldn’t be fair or accurate.

In the past 60 or so years, in the United States, there have been both male AND female authors, intellectuals, and pundits who have helped craft ideas that led to CRT, queer theory, and so on.

So I don’t appreciate the clowns I run into on Twitter blaming all women (women as a group) for the actions or views of SOME women, and for causes that are neither wholly attributed to one sex or the other, such as leftist trans-activism.

All Men: Michael Foucault, Pat Califia, Gayle Rubin, Alfred Kinsey, John Money, Erwin Gohrbandt

Feminist women who dabbled in Gender Ideology over 20 years ago were joined by progressive men who love Marxism, who were opposed to the idea of objective truth, who support group identity politics, and Queer Theory (which men (and some women) had a large hand in, such as Michel Foucault, Pat Califia, and Gayle Rubin – again, those are men).

Even Matt Walsh, in some of his videos and commentary about wacko, leftist Gender Ideology advocates, occasionally name drops MEN who have aided and abetted this queer theory, pro-trans-agenda world view, such as Alfred Kinsey and John Money.

According to the person(s) at this Twitter Account, a man is behind the design of the Transgender “pride” flag, and that man (biological man) is named flagTransPride - CopyRobert Hogge but goes by “Monica Helms.”

Then we have John Money. I believe Walsh has mentioned Dr. John Money a time or two.

(Link): Dr. John Money, Father Of Gender Theory, Was A Pedophilia Apologist

Excerpts:

Would it surprise you to know that the normalization of gender fluidity is rooted in the same ideology as Critical Race Theory? You won’t be surprised once you understand the whole story.
— end —

(Link): John Money: The Pro-Pedophile Pervert Who Invented “Gender”

(Link): John Money

Excerpts:

John William Money (8 July 1921 – 7 July 2006) was a New Zealand psychologist, sexologist and author known for his research into sexual identity and biology of gender.
He was controversial for his conduct towards vulnerable patients, including sexual abuse and endorsing conversion therapy aimed at young children.
He was one of the first researchers to publish theories on the influence of societal constructs of gender on individual formation of gender identity. Money introduced the terms gender identity, gender role and sexual orientation and popularised the term paraphilia.
He spent a considerable amount of his career in the United States.

Recent academic studies have criticized Money’s work in many respects, particularly in regard to his perpetration of the involuntary sex-reassignment of the child David Reimer,[3] his abuse of Reimer and his twin brother (also a child) by forcing them to simulate sex acts that Money photographed,[4] and the adult suicides of both brothers.[4]
— end excerpts —

So, some of the key influential figures leading us down the path to today’s current Trans Insanity are all men:
Michel Foucault, Pat Califia, Gayle Rubin, and John Money.

Continue reading “Men Are Actually Blaming All Women for The Misogynic Progressive ‘Transwoman’ Lunacy – and not crediting feminists who’ve been speaking out on the issue for years – Men Like Rufo and Walsh Don’t Seem to Want to Share the Credit with Women”

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

A link to this article, from a site and Twitter account called “Truth Over Tribe,” came through my Twitter feed today.

I don’t think I am following these guys; this was a suggestion by Twitter that appeared in my timeline. The “Truth Over Tribe” site says on their site that they are “too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals.”

Okay… I’m somewhat in the same place. I’m a conservative who occasionally disagrees with other conservatives, but I sure don’t agree with many positions of progressives.

After having skimmed over some articles on this site – the site owner and author seems to be a Patrick Miller – he seems to lean left of center.

I can tell he’s left of center from some of the commentary and language he’s used – for one, in the article below, he puts his Intersectional Feminism (a left wing concept) on full display by talking about how “self care” was really started by black people, white women love it, and these days, only white woman can (financially) afford it. (Though I didn’t quote those portions of his article below, but they are over on his site.)

(Does Miller realize that left wing darling BLM (Black Lives Matter) is misleading people financially or that they spend more on transgenderism than on race related issues?)

At any rate, let’s get on to the article on this site that alarmed me, and I will provide a few excerpts, and then I will comment on them to explain why I feel this piece goes horribly wrong:

(Link):  Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness

Excerpts:

by Patrick Miller

“To be happy, you need to leave toxic people behind.” The preaching Peloton instructor continued, “I’m talking about people who take more than they give. People who don’t care about your dreams. People whose selfishness impedes your ability to do what you want to do.”

 Oh crap. She just described my two-year-old. I guess it’s time to cut him off.

This is the gospel of self-care. The notion that the most important person in my life is me, and anyone who impedes my happiness is an existential threat to my emotional and physical well-being. …

… What’s the Religion of Self Care?

Continue reading “An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful”

What Should You Do If A Pastor Ever Tells You to Repent of Your ‘Whiteness’ (or If Your Pastor Points Women to Biblical Womanhood, Wifely Submission, and Gender Complementarianism)?

What Should You Do If A Pastor Ever Tells You to Repent of Your ‘Whiteness’ (or If Your Pastor Points Women to Biblical Womanhood, Wifely Submission, and Gender Complementarianism)?

Please note I am not a supporter of any and all pastors or all their views that the editorialist excerpted in this post below mentions.

I do oppose CRT (Critical Race Theory) because it’s divisive, anti-American, pro-Marxist, there is no room for grace of permanent forgiveness to it, and it upholds reverse racism and perpetuates racism, and so far as the pastors quoted below object to CRT, I probably would agree with most of their anti-CRT arguments.

So far as “reverse racism” is concerned – yes, it is entirely possible for a “POC” (person of color) to be racist, because racism is not just about “who holds control” in a culture, but is also an attitude or mentality.

There is no need to shame White people for being White, or Asian people for being Asian, if you’re attempting to discuss what you see as any residual racism against Black people in the United States.

My one small quibble with the views of some of the men mentioned is where one says that a Christian should “filter everything through the Bible.”

That sounds good, so far as it goes, but Christians – even conservative ones who believe the Bible to be holy, inerrant, and inspired – cannot always agree on what the Bible says, what it means, or how it should be applied.

What Should You Do If a Pastor Insists You Define Yourself by Biblical Womanhood, Which is Based on His Incorrect Gender Complementarian Views, Which Are Based on a Flawed Biblical Hermeneutic?

A lot of the anti-CRT pastors, who also happen to be proponents of Christian Gender Complementarianism, should consider that they also basically tell women that womanhood is sinful, that women aren’t quite as smart as men, so all women should be under male headship
– these anti-CRT pastors point women to their, the male pastor’s, biblical interpretations of “biblical, complementarian womanhood,” rather than encouraging women to look to Jesus of Nazareth or to look in themselves for their purpose and identity.

Complementarians believe that despite Christ’s sacrifice at the cross that women are STILL under the curses from The Fall, mentioned in the book of Genesis.

Women are supposed to find salvation in Christ and Christ alone and sanctification via the Holy Spirit – not through marriage, or through male leadership, wifely submission, or through carrying out gender roles.

Complementarianism is fundamentally at odds with biblical Christianity, the Bible, the Gospel, and with God.

Continue reading “What Should You Do If A Pastor Ever Tells You to Repent of Your ‘Whiteness’ (or If Your Pastor Points Women to Biblical Womanhood, Wifely Submission, and Gender Complementarianism)?”

Pastor’s Wife Pleads Guilty to Asking Their Threesome Lover to Murder Her Pastor Husband

Pastor’s Wife Pleads Guilty to Asking Their Threesome Lover to Murder Her Pastor Husband

Is this death by complementarianism? It sounds like it may be death by complementarianism, or at least, that is what the wife seems to be indicating.

Does being married make a person more godly, loving, responsible, or ethical? No, no it does not, Jim Daily, Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox and other hyper marriage pushers, it does not.

Does one have to be perfect, godly, and really great before God will allow that person to have a spouse? No – that’s simply not the case, contrary to what all the Christian dating advice books and Christian magazine articles from the 1980s and 1990s said.

God can forsee you being a murderer, and He is still delighted to send a spouse into your life (or permit this) – even a spouse you will end up murdering after your perverted, threesome romps in Motel 6!

Also, sadly, contrary to what my parents taught me as I was growing up, church may NOT be the best place for a single woman to meet eligible men to date and marry, since
1.) most churches lack single men and
2.) the ones who do attend end up being perverts, like the abusive “swinger” in the news report in this post.

The guy murdered in this news story worked as a preacher, and his wife claims he forced her into threesomes and that he was verbally abusive.

(Link): Oklahoma Pastor’s Midnight Execution Unravels Secret Threesome Love Affair

Last Sunday, David Evans warned his parishioners that the devil was trying to “kill them.” But police say there was something sinister much closer to home.

March 2021
by Pilar Melendez

Hours before Oklahoma pastor David Charles Evans was fatally shot in his bed on Monday morning, the 50-year-old warned his parishioners that the devil would seek to “destroy and kill them” for witnessing God’s power.

“Sometimes, I just stop and think. If the devil is not attacking you with everything he’s got in trying to destroy and kill you, maybe [it’s] because you’re not the reason anybody is believing in Jesus. And as a pastor and just as a Christian, what a waste,” he said in a sermon at the Harmony Free Will Baptist Church last Sunday, delivered shortly after he returned from a mission trip to Mexico.

… But police say something sinister was closer to home for Evans. The following day, his wife had her lover shoot Evans in the head, even after an affair that, at one point, involved the pastor, police allege.

… Authorities say that Kristie Evans asked Square to kill her husband in a sinister plot the two hatched while the pastor was away in Mexico. According to an affidavit, obtained by The Daily Beast, the mother-of-three later told police her husband “was verbally abusive and controlling of her” and “called her names like ‘slut, fat, ugly, and whore.’”

…“Kristie and David first met Kahlil months ago at a Super 8 Motel,” the affidavit states. The trio had sex at the Super 8 Motel on more than one occasion.

Continue reading “Pastor’s Wife Pleads Guilty to Asking Their Threesome Lover to Murder Her Pastor Husband”

When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship

When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship

🧻🪠🚽

There are several sites or blogs carrying the same essay by the same guy (or very similar content – looks to me as though one author copied the work of this Burgo guy but didn’t credit him that I could see).

I very much related to this guy’s essay, because over the course of my life, I have often played the role of being the “toilet” for friends to dump their emotional problems or complaints into.

I think what a lot of what this guy describes is more common among women than men.

Women are socially conditioned to be warm, nurturing, and to console other people when they’re hurting, sad, frustrated, or angry.

The phrase “emotional labor” came to describe this “empathetic listening” type role a lot of women are expected to play for the people around them, whether those people are men, women, or co-workers, strangers on the street, friends, or family members.

And if you’re like me and played that “empathetic listener” to other people for decades, it is mother clucking exhausting.

And as you grow older, you will look back on your life and realize all that kind-hearted listening and consoling you dished out to your hurting or angry friends didn’t do anything for you or to help you in your life.

Continue reading “When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship”

According to Progressives, Only Black People May Publicly Opine About, Discuss, or Analyze the Will Smith 2022 Oscar’s Slap of Chris Rock – Why I Kind of Disagree

According to Progressives, Only Black People May Publicly Opine About,  Discuss or Analyze, the Will Smith 2022 Oscar’s Slap of Chris Rock – Why I Kind of Disagree

This post has been edited after publication to add more content


I’m not sure if all or most progressives would state their position on this subject as being, “Only POC (People of Color) can or should discuss actor Will Smith slapping stand up comic and actor Chris Rock” or not.

For those not familiar (are you living under a rock?!), both Will Smith and Chris Rock are black, celebrity men, and, Will Smith, who is a movie actor, slapped Chris Rock across the face during the Oscar program for telling a tepid joke about Smith’s wife; Rock told a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s hair (or lack thereof) at the 2022 Oscars ceremony.

This topic is quite close to one I’ve been meaning to blog about for months now, which I may get around to later.

Here’s one example of several I’ve seen ever since The Slap, where progressives of whatever skin color are telling non-Blacks to shut up:

(Link): ‘Sit this out’: MSNBC host says white people ‘do not understand’ Will Smith slap

I have a few reasons why I don’t really agree with progressives on this topic.

Continue reading “According to Progressives, Only Black People May Publicly Opine About, Discuss, or Analyze the Will Smith 2022 Oscar’s Slap of Chris Rock – Why I Kind of Disagree”

I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

I hesitate to link to too many of these advice columnists any more, as months ago, someone admitted to writing bogus letters asking for advice, that were published to Slate, or some other publication. But maybe what follows is real… I’ve certainly known women in real life whose husbands are very selfish.

Anyway, for years, I had wanted to be married, and I never did get married. I eventually made peace with that.

Every so often I see letters like what follows below, or other women’s divorce horror stories – where they had to leave an abusive husband – and it makes me feel even more at peace with the fact I never married.

There’s no point in being married if the person you marry is selfish or treats you like garbage. It’s better to be single, or to stay single, then end up marrying an abuser or a self absorbed jackass.

(Most Christian gender complementarians would command this woman to stay in this joke of a marriage she describes and continue putting up with this horseshit from her selfish husband, because their interpretation of the Bible. 
I think their interpretation of the Bible is totally incorrect about gender roles and divorce… if you’re a grown woman, you have to make choices based on what you believe is best for you, not on another person’s fallible interpretation of the Bible.

If you’re a Christian woman, don’t look for, or count upon, your church’s or pastor’s “permission” to divorce an abusive or selfish husband, because most will not grant it.)

(Link): I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

January 31, 2022

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am a married mom of two kids. My husband is unbelievably selfish.

I do pretty much all of the parenting, housework, cooking, driving to extracurriculars, shopping, etc.

I also pay for virtually everything (we have separate bank accounts). He works a lot less hours than I do for around the same pay.

He spends his free time napping, going to the gym, getting massages … you get the picture.

I spend my free time looking after the kids. We’ve been to therapy, and he has stated that this is just how he is.

I’m beyond resentful and the only thing he contributes to our household right now is to the mess … that I then have to clean up. We live like roommates to the point that he sleeps in another room.

Continue reading “I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown”

Why Are Most Christian Men Living Sexually Immoral Lifestyles? by J. S. Shelton

Why Are Most Christian Men Living Sexually Immoral Lifestyles? by J. S. Shelton

The “equally yoked” rule becomes even more irrelevant in regards to marriage when one considers that this article claims that over half of Christian men don’t see any thing wrong with pornography.

Hmm. Maybe Christians need to start pushing the propaganda to boys and men they used to aim at girls and women all the time: if you, as a single, engage in sexual sin (for the purposes of this post, that would be, specifically, looking at pornography), God will not bless you with a wonderful spouse, if you want to marry.

For years, Christians used to push this at girls and women: if you want God to send you a spouse at all, and a ‘quality’ one, you had better stay a virgin until your wedding night! Turn about is fair play. Time for Christians to start telling men, “If you use porn, God won’t send you a spouse!”

(Link): Why Are Most Christian Men Living Sexually Immoral Lifestyles? by J. S. Shelton

Excerpts:

Churches should be pushing the alarm button…not the snooze button! The sad reality is we are not hearing the alarm because most Christian men are in the clutches of this sin.

Barna Research Group and Josh McDowell Ministries commissioned a (Link): study found that the number of Christian men who view pornography nearly mirrors that of non-Christian men.

How can this be?

Continue reading “Why Are Most Christian Men Living Sexually Immoral Lifestyles? by J. S. Shelton”

‘I’m Allergic to Sex’: College Student Reveals ‘Rare,’ ‘Excruciating’ Condition

‘I’m Allergic to Sex’: College Student Reveals ‘Rare,’ ‘Excruciating’ Condition

This is yet another thing that Christian Gender Complementarians fail to grapple with: they are all the time maintaining flawed or false gender stereotypes, where they assume all men want sex all the time, women do not supposedly want sex, AND, they have this false, unbiblical, highly sexist “obligation sex” message, where they tell married women that their husbands are “owed” sex (which is the same attitude one can sometimes find in some segments of secular culture).

I do have a few other posts on my blog from years past of women who are unable to have sexual intercourse at any time, or long term, or very infrequently, due to having some kind of physical disease or physical deformity (I have linked to those previous posts under the “Related Posts” section at the bottom of this post).

And what would the average complementarian (usually male, but I can see the “sell outs to their own female sex” female complementarians also doing this) advise such women to do – have sex any way, in spite of crippling pain? Probably.

Gender Complementarianism is not only codependency for women, it’s also maintained by male narcissists.

If a guy is married to a woman with one of these types of medical conditions that renders sexual intercourse medically impossible, or next to impossible, Christians (and specifically gender complementarians) need to stress that chastity and self control is for married people too, NOT just for young, single adults, because the husbands in these marriages will have to practice some self-restraint and not expect to have sexual intercourse (or the other sex acts, depending on what the health issue is) with these women.

When I was growing up, Christians – in their sermons, magazine articles and books – used to falsely promise and claim to the young, single reader that if one just refrained from having sex, that God would eventually bless or reward that individual with a great Christian spouse, and that married sex would be frequent and AMAZING. Well, those promises don’t always come true. Christians need to stop making false promises.

But secular types, and some anti-Purity Culture progressive Christians, also need to stop pressuring people who don’t want to have casual sex (or any sex at all), and they need to stop depicting sex as always being consequence-free, both physically and emotionally.

(Link): ‘I’m Allergic to Sex’: College Student Reveals ‘Rare,’ ‘Excruciating’ Condition

Feb 16, 2022
by Ben Cost

It’s only pain, no pleasure.

A Colorado college student embodied the expression “love hurts” after revealing that she suffers from a rare semen allergy that causes her to experience “excruciating” pain whenever she engaged in sexual activity.

“Essentially, I’m allergic to sex,” Longmont’s Chloe Lowery, 18, told Kennedy News of her unfortunate affliction, which began when she first started sex-perimenting.

The English major and aspiring professor specifically suffers from human seminal plasma hypersensitivity, in which contact with the proteins in sperm causes her to experience extreme reactions, including redness and a “burning” sensation.

Continue reading “‘I’m Allergic to Sex’: College Student Reveals ‘Rare,’ ‘Excruciating’ Condition”