Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex?

Excerpts:

May 12, 2018

Despite the conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s the man who loses sexual desire

Contrary to conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s men who first lose sexual desire in a long-term relationship, a new study finds.

Men’s desire for sex can be as tricky as women’s, according to researchers at the University of Kentucky.

Men often lose interest when they feel insecure, when they worry they are losing autonomy in a relationship, or when physical changes cause embarrassment. Pressure to be the initiator compounds the stress.

Continue reading “Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein”

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Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

About me and this blog:

If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.

I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link): this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.

I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.

Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.

My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)

I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.

— end introduction to me and this blog —

I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:

(Link): Advice for Incels by Kevin D. Williamson

On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.

However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.

I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books  (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and  “Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.

Continue reading “Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson”

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Review of common motiffs covered on this blog:

-Complementarianism (Christian patriarchy / male headship) is sexist trash and doesn’t produce “godly” men (actually, men under comp take advantage of women and hold women responsible for the sins of men);
-marriage does not make people more “godly” or responsible than singleness; and,
-God does not grant spouses to perfect people only (if God did so, the depraved idiot in this following news story, who fondled his own kids would not have gotten a spouse).

(Link): Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

By Stoyan Zaimov , Christian Post Reporter | Apr 17, 2018 9:50 AM

Jessica Willis Fisher, the 26-year-old daughter of The Willis Clan patriarch Toby, has revealed that she suffered decades of sex abuse, beatings, and manipulation at the hands of her father.

The Willis Clan, originally made up of a Christian family of 14 from Nashville, Tennessee, shot to fame through season 9 of “America’s Got Talent.” They were also featured in “The Willis Family” TV series on TLC between 2015 and 2016, before Toby Willis was arrested on charges of child rape.

Continue reading “Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family”

Tim Challies Needs to Shut His Pie Hole about Many Things, but Especially About Dating, Marriage, Singleness, and Now, Equally Yoked

Tim Challies Needs to Shut His Pie Hole about Many Things, but Especially About Dating, Marriage, Singleness, and Now, Equally Yoked

Tim Challies is the doofus Christian blogger, speaker, and book author who has actually said garbage in the past such as “even fornicators are virgins now” (yeah, (Link): he really said that).

Also bear in mind:

(Link): Tim Challies, Who Is Fine With Single Adults Fornicating, Is Not Okay With Fake Sex on TV, As Portrayed by Married Actors

(Link):  Christians (such as Tim Challies and his wife) Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

Furthermore, Challies is so vested in his belief of “Christian gender complementarianism,” he doesn’t care that its “male headship” doctrine leads to domestic violence against women and often leads to pressuring women to staying in abusive marriages; you can read more about that here:

(Link, to “Internet Monk” site): Stuck With Their Noses In the Text

Challies is more interested in women obeying the “male headship” and female subordination articles of faith that comprise gender complementarianism than he is in the safety and well-being of women.

As such, if you are a single woman, do you REALLY want to take any sort of relationship advice from this kind of person who does not value YOU as a person?

I would hope not.

See this:

(Link):  Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

Here is the link to the Tim Challies “Equally Yoked” article on Christian Post site (with more remarks by me below the excerpts):

(Link): Tim Challies Warns Christians the ‘Bible Is Very Clear’ Not to Marry Unbelievers

Here are excerpts from that page:

“The Bible makes it very, very clear that a Christian can only marry another Christian. You may not marry somebody who is an unbeliever. You should not marry somebody for whom you’re not certain whether they’re a believer or not. So absolutely, the first thing is, is this person a believer in Jesus Christ? Do we share faith?” Challies advised Thursday in part two of his message on Christian dating.

Continue reading “Tim Challies Needs to Shut His Pie Hole about Many Things, but Especially About Dating, Marriage, Singleness, and Now, Equally Yoked”

Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’s Response

Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’ s Response

Christianity Today magazine (Link): tweeted about an article about marriage by Ed Stetzer.

I have written about another Stetzer piece before, this one:

(Link): Hey Ed Stetzer: Opposite Gender Friendships Are Not Sinful

Ed Stetzer’s Advice: “Avoid Any Hint” – More Like: Re enforce UnBiblical Stereotypes About Men, Women, Sex, and Singles

The CT piece I am (Link): referring to in this post is entitled
“Love & Marriage… Go Together Like… A Few Comments on the Covenantal Practice Today ”
with a sub-heading of,
“Marriage is a created good, is not a ‘must,’ isn’t easy.”

Before I could click on and read the Twitter-based link to the CT piece by Stetzer, I saw a set of Tweets below by someone named C. Allen, who I presume is a woman (though Allen could be a man – I’ll just say for the sake of this post that Allen is a woman).

The link to the main tweet is (Link): here, and if you scroll down, you can see the responses by C. Allen.

Before even reading the actual page by Stetzer, C. Allen’s take on it on Twitter was all I needed to know. (I read the Stetzer page later.)

I replied to Allen, telling her I completely agreed with the comments she Tweeted below the CT Tweet.

Here is Allen’s (Link): first comment in that Twitter thread:

In that entire article, only about two brief paragraphs were dedicated to Christian singleness. The rest was lamenting the degradation of the marital institution and reiterating with the same old words why marriage is important. And people wonder why singles feel disenfranchised.
/// end

Continue reading “Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’s Response”

Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

(Link): Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

By Meera Jagannathan, Moneyish

Clinging to male dominance won’t do your relationship any favors.

Men who buy into the Sigmund Freud-coined “Madonna-Whore dichotomy” — i.e., viewing women as either “good” and chaste or “bad” and promiscuous — are more likely to embrace a “patriarchy-enhancing ideology” and feel less satisfied in romantic relationships, a recent studypublished in the journal Sex Roles found.

“These men may have difficulties feeling attracted to the women they love, or loving the women to whom they are sexually attracted, leading to chronic dissatisfaction in their romantic relationships,” lead author Orly Bareket said in a statement.

Continue reading “Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships”

Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say

Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say

You can see once more how The Nuclear Family, Parenthood, and Marriage does not save society or make things safer for children.

I’m conservative, but a lot of other conservatives (both Christian and secular) will try to argue that society has fallen apart because of feminism or due to liberals and they further suggest that society  would not be such a cess pool only if every one would marry by the age of 25 and have ten kids apiece and become a Christian.

This couple being married, having kids, and reading the Bible, being into traditional gender roles and being Christian did not make them better people, nor did it make our culture a better place.

I’m sure there are probably some atheist parents out there who treat their kids better than this Christian couple treated their kids.

I fail to see how liberalism or secular feminism is to blame for this Christian couple shackling their kids to beds for years and refusing to feed them.

(Link):  Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say

Jan 16, 2018

The home of a California couple known in their community as a good Christian family was revealed to be a house of horror Sunday morning when local police rescued their 13 children, some of whom were found “shackled to their beds with chains and padlocks in dark and foul-smelling surroundings.”

Continue reading “Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say”

One Group That Thinks Grown Men “Courting” Teen Girls Is Natural? Fundamentalist Home-Schoolers by R. Graham

One Group That Thinks Grown Men “Courting” Teen Girls Is Natural? Fundamentalist Home-Schoolers by R. Graham

I linked to an article very similar to the one below a few months ago (Link): here.

I’ve also blogged about Phil Robertson’s gross, sexist, and creepy idea before that girls should marry at age 15 (Link): here.

(Link):  One Group That Thinks Grown Men “Courting” Teen Girls Is Natural? Fundamentalist Home-Schoolers by R. Graham

[Some Christians object to the idea of adult men dating teen girls.]

….But there’s a group of Moore’s allies for whom the basic idea of an unmarried older man “courting” a teenage girl is not anathema at all—fundamentalist home-schoolers.

Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson, who (Link): endorsed Moore in the contested Republican primary and has spoken at his rallies, told an audience in 2009 that girls should marry when they’re (Link): “about 15 or 16.”

Moore has (Link): appeared several times on a radio show hosted by Kevin Swanson, an ultra-conservative Colorado pastor who  (Link): defended Robertson’s notion that girls should be marrying at 15 because it helps them avoid sexual sin.

I’ve never married, still a virgin at age 40+, and I have a sex drive: it’s simply not true that “getting married young”(or getting married at all) is necessary to prevent someone from dabbling in sexual sin.

Staying a virgin past one’s teen years is not (Link): an impossible, heroic feat.

Anyone can do it.

Most choose not to.

Being celibate is a choice and a self-discipline, and it’s not due to lacking a sex drive; it is not a godly, incredibly difficult feat only a few can pull off. Anyone can do this.

Is is somewhat difficult when you’re single and rather be married and having sex? Yes, it can be somewhat difficult at times, but not to the point where one loses control of one’s ability to refrain.

Also, getting married does not keep people from “burning with lust,” with all due respect to the New Testament’s apostole Paul:

A lot of people get married only to sexually sin by having sex with people not their spouse, by fondling children, viewing porn, hiring prostitutes etc., and so on – see my many examples of married couples engaging in sexual sin (Link): here (i.e., collection of news stories of married people arrested for hiring prostitutes, etc).

Excerpts from the article:

Moore has an even deeper relationship with Doug Phillips, a disgraced leader in the “Biblical patriarchy” movement. Phillips was president of Vision Forum, a Texas-based organization devoted to the (Link): “restoration of the Christian household.”

In Phillips’ world, men ought to be self-sufficient by the time they marry, but women live under their father’s authority until they marry.

Continue reading “One Group That Thinks Grown Men “Courting” Teen Girls Is Natural? Fundamentalist Home-Schoolers by R. Graham”

Tinder, Dating and Sex in Saudi Arabia — where Love is a ‘Sin.’

(Link): Tinder, Dating and Sex in Saudi Arabia — where Love is a ‘Sin.’

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — The course of true love never did run smooth. While applicable the world over, Shakespeare’s words are particularly true in swiftly changing Saudi Arabia.

Long forbidden, dating has arrived in the ultra-conservative Gulf kingdom with some Saudis meeting and marrying without the help of relatives. Well-heeled millennials meet via Tinder, Snapchat, Twitter and Instagram.

Continue reading “Tinder, Dating and Sex in Saudi Arabia — where Love is a ‘Sin.’”

Horrible Sexist Blog Post from John Piper’s Desiring God Site: ‘Husbands Get Her Ready for Jesus’

Horrible Sexist Blog Post from John Piper’s Desiring God Site: ‘Husbands Get Her Ready for Jesus’

My Twitter acquaintance Teresa R. first sent me a Tweet of this stupid complementarian based essay which is on Desiring God’s site and was written by one Bryan Stroudt, who should feel so embarrassed by this that he should stop blogging for six months or more.

Soon after Teresa sent me a tweet of this, I started seeing references to it pop up all over the internet, by Christians who felt it was terrible.

Here it is with reflections of how awful it is below, by me and by others:

(Link): Husbands, Get Her Ready for Jesus  by Bryan Stoudt

Here are a few excerpts from Stoudt’s work, before we get to the corrections of it:

(In which Stoudt discusses how Christian husbands – being the “male head” – should correct their wives and prepare their wives to meet Jesus):

A Call to Correction

It’s crystal clear: God calls husbands to be instruments of his sanctifying work in the lives of our wives.

…Just as Jesus set his church apart from sin through his sacrificial, loving death on the cross, husbands are to do everything in their power to promote their wives’ holiness.

This can take many forms. We can pray for our wives, read the Bible with them, and make space for them to pursue meaningful spiritual friendships with other women.

Continue reading “Horrible Sexist Blog Post from John Piper’s Desiring God Site: ‘Husbands Get Her Ready for Jesus’”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | (Part 3)

Regarding the Tweets by a person named Bob‏ (Twitter handle: @JustBobThx) to Dee.

You can view several Tweets that Bob sent to Dee under Dee’s first Tweet (Link): here. I will be referring to those tweets through the remainder of the post.

In the midst of conservative, complementarian Christian men, such as (Link): Tim the Bible Thumping Wing Nut (his screen name) and Fred Butler mocking women sexual harassment and sexual abuse victims by way of the Twitter hash tag “Me Too,” and and (Link): Ricky Masuer  defending said aforementioned mockers, Bob jumped in to dress down Dee, who was responding to the sexist tweets.

Here is a text copy of one of his tweets:

Replying to @wartwatch (wartwatchis Dee) @JeffTheGK (JeffTheGK has been on Dee’s side in this debate)
Bob said:

Is that so. Here’s [he includes screen captures of other people’s tweets] 1 of ur many pro- LGBT buddies in ur “we stand against abuse” club. Waiting 4 ur outrage. Better get writing a blog 2 warn ppl. This is degrading, disgusting, & vile. Ur CONSTANTLY telling GOBC 2 call out their own-so go ahead & do it urself. @Biblethumpingwi ///

Bob is quite simply trying to change the subject.

(Bob later gripes and complains about gender egalitarian Jory Michah and rants about abortion).

The issue that initiated all this dialog was (Link): Tim (aka “Bible Thumping Wing Nut”) ridiculing the sexual harassment or sexual assault of women via the “Me Too” twitter tag.

The subject was not about LGBT topics or Christian gender egalitarian Jory Michah.

Bob, because he is sexist but probably thinks he’s NOT sexist, needs to read my (Link): Post 2 about Rick Mauser, as well, at least the portions of that post under the headings of

  • BIBLICAL PATRIARCHY
  • CHRISTIANS SEXUALIZE GIRLS AND WOMEN, NOT JUST SECULAR CULTURE
  • SEXISM EXAMPLES
  • SEXISM IN THE FORM OF UNCONSCIOUS BIAS

My Views

I have been a conservative over the duration of my life.

I have been pro-life on abortion, and I always voted Republican (though I am no longer Republican. In the last few years, I have come to realize that the Republican Party is either similar to the Democratic Party in some ways, or it has its own set of flaws).

As far as LGBT issues are concerned: I believe the Bible says that homosexual behavior is sinful, but, I’m rather “libertarian” on the topic – if two adults of the same gender want to get it on, it’s not hurting me, so I do not care what they do.

However, I do not generally support liberal, social justice warriors who want to do things such as sue Christian bakers out of business for refusing to bake wedding cakes for homosexual weddings. (I am open to being persuaded otherwise on this topic.)

I do not support things such as LGBT people bullying porn actress women (Link): who refuse to have sex with homosexual men. Liberals definitely get some things wrong.

I am definitely not a liberal.

BOB’S SEXISM AND “PASTRIX”

Bob is sexist.

Bob uses the sexist derogatory term “Pastrix” (which I believe was coined by sexist radio Christian host Chris Rosebrough) to refer to women pastors, or to women who write blog posts about theology.

(I refer you again to (Link): Bob’s posts in this Twitter thread to see for yourself).

If you want to have a respectful dialog with someone on the subject of whether women should be allowed to be preachers in churches or not, that’s all fine and good, but there is no reason to use sexist, disrespectful terms such as “Pastrix” in the process.  Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.2)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag

Part 1 | (Part 2)| Part 3

This post contains salty language. If you are a snail, you might want to stay away.

Part 2.

To get you up to speed, if you skipped part 1

I myself am right wing and do not refer to myself as feminist either – however, I also despise sexism, no matter where it comes from, right wing or left wing.

Reminder, if you skipped part 1:

Here is the tweet containing a screen shot of two Christian men, “Bible Thumping Wing Nut” (Twitter handle: @Biblethumpingwi) and Fred Butler (Twitter handle: @Fred_Butler),  mocking the “Me Too” twitter tag, which women have been using to share their experiences of being sexually assaulted or sexually harassed on jobs:

Bible Thumping Wingnut’s tweet says,

Today a female security guard referred to me as “love”. #MeToo I don’t feel safe anymore. ///

Fred Butler replied:

Was she hot? ///

Note that both men, and the several who replied to defend those two, were ridiculing a serious issue: the (Link): “Me Too” tag began after sexual abuse and harassment stories (Link): about movie producer Harvey Weinstein broke.

This should be apparent to all, but it’s lost on those who are paranoid of the “Me Too” hash tag, of women wanting male accountability for male sexual misbehavior against women:
All sexual misconduct against women is wrong, A-L-L of it, whether it’s considered more serious – such as rape – or not as serious – such as cat-calling, or groping, or unwanted flirtation.

It’s not cute, appropriate, or funny to mock a hash tag that is being used by women to discuss their experiences with sexual abuse or harassment.

Some of the women using that Hash are Non-Christian women, and if or when they see the insensitive tweets by so-called Christian men mocking their rapes and abuse, such as published by Tim or Fred Butler, they will want no part of Christianity. Maybe that is what Tim and Fred really want.

Part 2 – RICKY MAUSER

I jumped in under one of the Tweets prompted by the complementarian Christian men who were mocking the “Me Too” hash tag, to make a comment or two earlier today (I began composing this post on Dec. 7, 2017) to Mr. Bible Thumper Wing Nut, and some guy named “Ricky Mauser” left me a few comments in return.

I don’t think Ricky Mauser is the sharpest tool in the shed, which will become clear to anyone reading along, as I discuss his objections.

Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.2)”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.1)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag  (Part 1.1)

(Part 1) | Part 2 | Part 3

In this post, I will mainly be discussing the insensitive, sexist tweet by a guy calling himself “Bible Thumper Wing Nut” (whose real name is Tim?), and Fred Butler’s participation. I’ll start by addressing Butler first, then move on to Tim who posts under the name “Bible Thumper Wing Nut”.

In part 2, I will be addressing Ricky Mauser’s replies to me, and, later, perhaps, maybe in a part 3, tweets from a Bob‏ (Twitter handle: “@JustBobThx”) to Dee.

I’d be very surprised if the Christian men in this Twitter conversation were not complementarian.

I seriously doubt they are egalitarian or would refer to themselves as “feminists”.

(I myself am right wing and do not refer to myself as feminist either – however, I also despise sexism, no matter where it comes from, right wing or left wing.)

First, here is the tweet containing a screen shot of two Christian men, “Bible Thumping Wing Nut” (Twitter handle: @Biblethumpingwi) and Fred Butler (Twitter handle: @Fred_Butler),  mocking the “Me Too” twitter tag, which women have been using to share their experiences of being sexually assaulted or sexually harassed on jobs:

Bible Thumping Wingnut’s tweet says,

Today a female security guard referred to me as “love”. #MeToo I don’t feel safe anymore.

Fred Butler replied:

Was she hot?

Note that both men, and the several who replied to defend those two, were ridiculing a serious issue: the (Link): “Me Too” tag began after sexual abuse and harassment stories (Link): about movie producer Harvey Weinstein broke.

This should be apparent to all, but it’s lost on those who are paranoid of the “Me Too” hash tag, of women wanting male accountability for male sexual misbehavior against women:
All sexual misconduct against women is wrong, A-L-L of it, whether it’s considered more serious – such as rape – or not as serious – such as cat-calling, or groping, or unwanted flirtation.

Although I am a conservative, I am absolutely appalled at the number of other conservatives or libertarians who think women and girls should just ignore, accept, or overlook “less serious” sexual harassment offenses.

Cat-calling may not be “as bad” as rape – but it is still bad. And no, no female should have to put up with it.

Unwanted flirtation is a form of sexual harassment, so no, it’s not acceptable when men do this to women.

Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.1)”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 1 – Married, Family Values Ralph Shortey’s Sandwich Shirt

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 1 – Married, Family Values Ralph Shortey’s Sandwich Shirt

My Twitter friend Teresa sent this my way:

(Link):  VIDEO: Republican politician Ralph Shortey who hired an underage male prostitute greeted cops in a novelty Bible verse T-shirt – via Twitchy

The video the page is mentioning shows Shortey answering the cop’s knock on his door, where he’s wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Ephesians 5:22‘ on it, there’s a drawing of a sandwich under it, and under that,  the shirt also says, “Now go make me a sandwich.”

According to the articles, Shortey was a family values politician, and he is married with four children.

Shortey was caught by cops with an underage male prostitute in his hotel room, along with a bottle of lotion, open box of condoms, and sex texts to the boy on his electronic devices.

After I copy these other links to news articles about it, I will explain what this has to do with complementarianism:

(Link):  Oklahoma police release body cam footage of former state senator caught with underage male

(Link): Bodycam footage shows moment Republican pol was busted in motel room with 17-year-old boy

Bodycam footage from Oklahoma police shows the moment they found a Republican state senator in a motel room with a 17-year-old boy.

Two-term state senator Ralph Shortey, 35, pleaded guilty to a federal charge of child sex trafficking last week after an investigation found the married father of four offered a teenage boy cash in exchange for “sexual stuff.”

 [Photo caption on the page]:
Shortey answered the motel room door wearing a T-shirt citing the Bible verse Ephesians 5:22 — which urges wives to submit to their husbands — with the words “now go make me a sandwich” emblazoned below.(MOORE POLICE DEPARTMENT)

…Shortey, who served as Trump’s Oklahoma campaign chair, was also wearing a T-shirt citing the Bible verse Ephesians 5:22 — which urges wives to submit to their husbands — with the words, “now go make me a sandwich” emblazoned beneath.

COMPLEMENTARIANS SAY WOMEN ARE EQUAL IN WORTH NOT IN ROLE

If you grew up complementarian (as I did (Link): but am no longer), you should be well aware that their motto is that they think that “women are equal in value or worth to men, but not in role.”

That motto is how they attempt to dodge the obviously unfair and sexist church rules where they do things such as forbid women to preach or lead in churches or in marriages.

But dang if they don’t try really, super hard to convince everyone who doubts their sincerity of supporting women that they are not sexist.

Complementarians reassure every one constantly that they don’t think women are below men, or believe sexist stuff like women are dumber than men, or women only exist to do stereotypical things for men, like be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen making sandwiches.

But isn’t in interesting that in spite of their insistence to the contrary, that the men in the complementarian, conservative movement, at the end of the day, find it appropriate or cute to wear a shirt with a sexist take on (Link): Ephesians 5:22 on it?

Complementarians put a spin on their sexist biblical interpretation to try to convince the public, or women taught to live under this garbage, that no, they’re not saying that they think women are second class citizens who are “second banana” to men, intended by God to be nothing but personal servants to men to engage in housework.

Complementarian actions, however, do not match their rhetoric.

Complementarians may say they think women are of “equal worth” to men, but here we have a man, who’d I’d bet anything is complementarian, thinking it’s funny to wear a t-shirt with a sexist twist of Ephesians 5: 22 upon it – proof that complementarians really do not believe their own advertising of “equal in worth, just not in role.”

If complementarians really and truly believe that women are equal to men in worth to God, why do we find them making sexist, degrading Ephesians 5:22 shirts, selling such shirts, or wearing them?

If complementarians want to explain that shirt is not representative of their position, then how is it that the t-shirt maker and the man who wore the shirt, understand their interpretation of Ephesians 5:22 in such a manner? I think it’s because it’s plain and obvious to anyone that complementarian interpretation of the Bible is in fact sexist.

You have to ask yourself, if you are a complementarian, how is it that any man would take the complementarian interpretation of a verse such as Ephesians 5:22 and think it’s acceptable to slap a drawing of a sandwich on it along with “now go make me a sandwich.”

If your complementarian message consists of the point that women are equal in worth to men, then I would assume I could expect to see this man wearing a shirt saying more along the lines of,  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” But he is not wearing a shirt with such a message of affirmation of the female biological sex…

Because complementarianism, in spite of all it’s “girl power” mottos to the contrary, is sexist and comes across as sexist to the average person.

An Editorial That Misses the Mark: More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy Wax

An Editorial That Misses the Mark: More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy Wax

I saw this really long article on The American Conservative site – the link to it, “Women Having Joyless Sex” is towards the bottom.

Here is the comment I left on their page, though I don’t see it published (okay, I later broke up my response in chunks, and their site says this is in moderation):

What a long-winded article. I read quite a bit of it but grew bored and skimmed over the remaining.

Anyway – towards the end of it, the author seems to be suggesting that it’s okay, good, or acceptable that women in stable, committed relationships (such as marriage) have sex when they don’t really want to.

I somehow doubt we’d see the reverse sentiment if the genders were swapped out.

I cannot imagine any writer, male or female, lecturing husbands that they should go ahead and have sex with their wife, even if they, the husband, is not in the mood for it, or, to persist in having bad or unsatisfying sex with their wives.

Too bad that too many people keep sort of defending or promoting this idea that women cannot or should not decide for themselves what to do with their bodies or their own sexuality.

Lastly, please, please do not quote Mark Regnerus, as you did in this essay above.

Regnerus is a Christian sociologist who has (Link): actually made the perverted argument in some of his online essays (which were repudiated by other Christians) that he thinks because marriage rates are declining, that Christian single women should go ahead and marry Christian men who are known porn users or known porn addicts.

There are a lot of Christian single women for whom a man viewing porn is a deal breaker, as is their right.

Women get to choose what they will and will not accept in a man they date or marry – but Regnerus, like a lot of my fellow conservatives – is so obsessed with promoting marriage that he’s turned marriage into an idol and will say or do anything to pressure or guilt trip single adults into marrying anyone.

Regnerus and other Christians mistakenly act as though singleness is a disease that needs to be cured.
This is in spite of the fact that the Bible says God honors singleness (see 1 Corinthians chapter 7).

God does not command every one marry, or say that he, God, views singleness as being “less than” marriage.

Nor does God prescribe marriage as a “cure all” that will “fix” a society, contrary to Mark Regnerus, Al Mohler, and other Christians who have deified marriage and denigrated singleness.

// end my comment on their page

As I said, this is a very long editorial. I skimmed most of it.

There were a few parts I may have agreed with, but I did not agree with all points:

(Link): More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy L. Wax

Excerpts:

….The problem might be sex without desire, or it might not. Even if the sex feels libidinous, the lack of emotional content can still make hooking up distressing.

If women are having sex that doesn’t bring much pleasure, or that is not the result of “ordinary motives” or “ordinary feelings” — whatever those might be— we shouldn’t be surprised that the rhetoric of sexual assault on campus is a confusing mash-up of labels and charges that are almost impossible to keep straight.

Some social conventions do better than others at protecting women from sex they don’t desire and really don’t enjoy.

One might take the position—as I do—that society and the campus culture currently do too little in this regard, especially for adolescents and young women, while at the same time recognizing that completely eliminating sex without desire from all women’s lives is not only impossible, but might sometimes come at too great a price.

Surely there are better and worse such encounters, and better and worse societies for minimizing the harms that can flow to women from this experience.

Some of the middle-aged women in The Bitch is Back tell us they don’t experience a sexual frisson from every intimate encounter in their lives.

The same seems to go for the overwhelmed young mothers who complain on the Internet.

Although these women may not feel sexual excitement at the moment, they sometimes do it anyway.

Unlike the girls who hook up, they do it for love, or out of gratitude, or as a gift, or to preserve something enduring, lasting, and valuable. In many cases it is a marriage that they seek to preserve, a mostly loving relationship that is central to their lives.

But when college women play the hook-up game, what are they trying to preserve or achieve?

They want male company and attention, and that’s the only way to get it. It really shouldn’t be that way.

/// end excerpts

Her editorial is extremely long, and I found it mind-numbingly boring.

You can click through using the link above to read the entire thing should you wish.

She seems to think women in marriages have to or should put up with lousy sex, and that’s okay, because it helps to preserve a marriage or some such nonsense, and she further feels that crappy, unrewarding sex for a married woman is somehow morally superior or something as compared to teen girls who have crappy, unrewarding sex with campus boys. I don’t agree. I think all of that is equally bad.

In trying to argue against casual sex (“hook up culture”) my fellow conservatives manage to deliver some sexist assumptions about women and dismal views about adult singleness, none of which I find acceptable.

Trying to argue your way against false rape charges or hook up culture should not be done in such a way you’re also arguing that it’s acceptable for women to have to feel they must put up with crappy marital sex, or that being married is a preferable state of life (to imply in the reverse that singleness is for losers, or worse for culture).


Related Posts:

(Link): Another Study Shows That ‘Hookup Culture’ Is a Myth

(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

(Link): Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

(Link):   Male Entitlement In Dating and In Marriage  – Single Christian Men Who Feel Entitled – Part 1

(Link): ‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Secular culture would have you believe that men care about looks in women, while women supposedly only care about money or emotional support from a man, and to that I say: FALSE.

Christians, specifically, Christian gender complementarians, ratchet this up to really emphasize the point.

I’ve heard or seen so many male Christian complementarians (and occasionally, a few women complementarians) hype up this supposed idea that God created men to be “visual,” so they will shame and badger women to stay skinny, diet, exercise, and wear make-up all the time.

The truth is, women are every bit as “visual” as men are. Most hetero women dig a hot, sexy man every bit as much as some hetero men appreciate a hot, sexy woman.

However, complementarians will seldom lecture or advise men to lose weight, go to the gym and work out, or get a toupee if they’re balding.

I think the differences is that most women are willing to cut men slack where as the reverse is not true.

I mean, a woman may prefer a hot, studly looking man, but, if you’re tubby, bald, or sort of ugly she might still be willing to date you if you bring “something else to the table” – such as a lot of money, a steady income, a great sense of humor, intelligence, dependability, or what have you.

I think most women are more wiling to take trade-offs in the “looks” and sex appeal department than most men are.

Other than that, most of both sexes prefer people who are easy on the eyes, but this sexist, irritating stereotype that only men care about looks and only women care about romance (or emotions) persists.

Here is an example of a woman who is turned off by her male partner’s baldness:

(Link): Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

DEAR ABBY:
My physical attraction to my boyfriend has significantly diminished due to his baldness.

I know this may seem shallow, but I have lost all interest in intimate contact with him.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest”

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

And most conservative Christians, gender complementarians in particular, will continue to ignore information such as this, because they basically feel that women don’t like sex, don’t want sex, and only a man’s sexual needs or preferences are important.

(Link): New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously

Excerpts:

….In a study published this summer in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapytitled “Women’s Sexual Experience With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94,” researchers from Indiana University asked that age-old but oft-neglected question: What feels good to you?

Continue reading “New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart”

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

From the UK:

(Link): Almost 60% of women want more sex than their partner does

Excerpts:

If you believe what you see in American films, all men are desperate for sex, and most women don’t want to give it to them.

This is, of course, complete bollocks. As we know, women have sexual identities, desires and fantasies of their own, just like men do. In fact, as new research from Voucher Codes Pro demonstrates, many women actually have even more of a sex drive than men.

Continue reading “Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study”

Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Judge Won’t Let Andrea Tantaros Keep Secret Her Feminism Book Was Ghostwritten By Man

I wrote a review (or critique) of this book a few months ago. In my review, I noted it was a variation on the old conservative saw to blame feminism for why single women are having a difficult time getting dates or getting married.

I disagree. I lived life as a June Cleaver house-wife type (meaning, though I was single, I very docile, passive, sweet, ladylike) for decades, and I never got married.

Being a conservative ideal of a woman is not a guarantee you’re going to get dates or get married, so my fellow conservatives can kindly stop promoting that view.

So, as it turns out, a man – yes, a man – wrote the “anti feminist” book with Tantaros’ name on it, telling women if they want to get a man and keep one, to ditch their independence, their agency, and behave like doormats.

(Link):  Judge Will Not Allow Former Fox News Host to Conceal Identity of Her Feminism-Bashing Book’s Male Ghostwriter

(Link): Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable” Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Excerpts

Former Fox News starlet Andrea Tantaros made a name of herself in the conservative echelons of cable news punditry by (Link): blaming feminists for everything from the decline of marriage to statutory rape.

So when her book Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Wanted Made Women Miserable was released last year it seemed par for the course that she would dedicate hundreds of pages to how she— a capable, self-sufficient, feminine anti-feminist— was so much better off than her feminist counterparts.

Continue reading “Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man”

Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her

Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her

As I was sharing with someone on Twitter today, it’s Christian men and Christian churches like this one (mentioned in this story linked to below) that caused me to abandon the “Equally Yoked” doctrine years ago.

(Equally Yoked – Christian belief that a Christian single must only marry another self professing Christian.)

I’m completely serious when I told that person on Twitter I’d rather date a non-perverted atheist than a Christian who sexually harasses women.

Furthermore, look at how the church responded to this woman’s harassment claims – not by protecting and siding with the woman, but by protecting the pervert!

If you are a single Christian woman, churches are not safe places to meet potential mates. Churches are not safe places to get boyfriends or husbands.

I was taught by my Christian parents as I was growing up that I should seek out churches to find dates and a husband, but the older I get, I don’t see churches as being any safer or having better quality men than any other venue.

I would assume that this church is a “gender complementarian” church.

Complementarians often like to bray that they believe women are equal in value to men, just not in role.

Complementarians like to insist that though they teach women cannot have the same rights and roles as men, and that they believe men have “boss like” authority over wives, does not mean that they do not respect women. It’s all a bunch of fake hooey and propaganda.

At the end of the day, look at how complementarians TREAT women, not what they SAY about women: complementarians only feign caring and concern about women and woman’s safety. At the end of the day, complementarians will always throw girls and woman under the bus, especially if it’s to save a man’s career or reputation.

If you are a single Christian (especially a woman or girl), never, ever take dating advice from Christians – because most of them will do things like fire YOU if you complain that a male staffer is harassing you, or, they will tell you to stay married to a man, EVEN IF he is abusing you or you discover he’s looking at child pornography (I have actual examples of all these things on my blog).

(Link):Youth pastor sues Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church over sexual harassment

Dawn Neldon says she was forced to resign after complaining about new pastor’s inappropriate acts

…A former associate pastor at the Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church is suing the church and it’s new pastor Bryan Stamper for sexual harassment and for terminating her after she complained to church administrators.

Continue reading “Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her”