Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

TGC is the same group that brought us all that cringe, weird book about sex called “Beautiful Union,” whose author claimed that sex can point us all to God, which is a disaster for those of us over 30 who are still virgins and living celibately.

I had a few comments I wanted to make below this:

(Link):  A Response to Shane Morris’s TGC Review of Non-Toxic Masculinity

Excerpts:

[The review that Wagner is responding to is located here, on TGC’s site: Sexual Ethics Is More than Not Being Evil]

by Zachary Wagner

…I want to note some of my ongoing disappointment with The Gospel Coalition on their engagement with issues of sexuality, gender, and masculinity.

…For many of my friends who have left Christianity, the straw that broke the camel’s back was not merely that Christianity was sexually restrictive. It was the hypocrisy of those who condemned the culture’s sexual permissiveness while indulging in sexual sin themselves or excusing it on the part of Christian leaders and heroes.

…In particular, the juxtaposition between purity culture on the one hand and sexual scandal on the other has opened a floodgate of apostasy for Millennials in particular, including members of my family and many very dear friends. How should evangelical pastors respond to this? Morris has little to say on this point, but he seems to imply that defending purity culture and doubling down on its good intentions is the correct approach. …

This is pastorally irresponsible. Parents, pastors, and authors were the ones who should have known better, not teenagers with raging hormones and half-developed brains. The sons and daughters of purity culture have repeatedly been told that they were the problem. Any suffering or frustration or confusion they experienced was their fault, a result of their sinful and broken inclinations.

Continue reading “Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues”

Christian Texas Man Who Posted Content Praising Jesus Murders Wife, Allegedly Shooting Her 10 Times in Front of Their Kids, After She Asked for Divorce

Christian Texas Man Who Posted Content Praising Jesus Murders Wife, Allegedly Shooting Her 10 Times in Front of Their Kids, After She Asked for Divorce

Note that being married does not make a person more godly, ethical, mature, loving or responsible. This guy was married, apparently a father too, but none of that made him more loving, law abiding, godly, mature, or responsible.

(Link): Garland Man Faces Murder Charge in Wife’s Shooting Death

October 19, 2023

A 28-year-old Garland man faces a murder charge in the deadly shooting of his wife, Mesquite police say.

(Link): Texas Man Murders Wife, Allegedly Shooting Her 10 Times in Front of Their Kids, After She Asked for Divorce

October 2020

A husband and father of three from Texas is facing murder charges in the deadly shooting of his wife.

According to NBCDFW, on Sunday (Oct. 18), police in Mesquite, Texas—a suburban city located near Dallas—discovered the body of 28-year-old Markeita McCleary with multiple gunshot wounds around 5:34 p.m. local time.

Police said McCleary was taken to a local hospital where she was pronounced dead.

McCleary’s husband, Ashton Neroes, who is also 28, was subsequently arrested and charged with murder in connection to the shooting, police said. He’s being held on $100,000 bond.

According to unconfirmed social media reports, Markeita had recently caught Ashton having an affair, and asked him for a divorce shortly before she was fatally shot 10 times in front of their three children.

Continue reading “Christian Texas Man Who Posted Content Praising Jesus Murders Wife, Allegedly Shooting Her 10 Times in Front of Their Kids, After She Asked for Divorce”

Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too)

Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too) – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One

This post has been edited to add more material

It would be nice if more psychologists, therapists and lay persons wrote articles or blog posts from the vantage of how things affect single adults, but that’s not always the case.

As you know from my blog, I am a never married, middle-aged adult. Yet, I still find some content about marriage helpful in navigating or understanding my relationships with family members and friends.

This lady, Renee Swanson, has a blog, several social media channels, and a podcast about having been married to a Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissist for 21 years – in my opinion, based on what she’s written, her husband is not only a Covert Narcissist but displays elements of what is called Neglectful Narcissism (more on that below).

It looks to me as though some of Swanson’s accounts have not been updated in two or so years, but the content is still quite helpful and illuminating.

I’m going to excerpt a few of her blog posts below.

I want you to note that contrary to what extreme marriage (and parenthood and nuclear family) promoters have to say, that marriage (and parenthood, etc), does not necessarily make a person happy, safe, and secure, as Renee Swanson’s content once again demonstrates.

The person you marry, should you marry, can end up being emotionally, sexually, financially, or physically controlling, negligent, or irresponsible.

There are some personality disorders for which there is no cure, and for which the disorder is largely impervious to therapy.

Which means, should you marry someone with one of those disorders, such as severe pathological narcissism, your partner is never going to change or get better, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, or how much you do for them, love them, or pray for them.

I think that the Christian gender complementarian interpretation of the Bible is incorrect on many topics, but certainly in regards to divorce.

Many complementarian persons, churches, denominations, and pastors believe that the Bible never allows for divorce, including in cases of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.

Such anti-divorce, complementarian churches and pastors frequently mistakenly teach people (usually women) who are married to abusers to simply submit more to their spouse, and that will make the mistreatment stop. Such pastors, churches, etc, are entirely ignorant about personality disorders and abuse dynamics.

If these complementarian, anti-divorce clowns spent any time at all looking up information on abuse dynamics or personality disorders, they would learn soon enough that there is nothing another person can do to fix, change, or heal an abusive or toxic person – and the spouse sure won’t be able to do it.

I’ve never married, but I’ve had family members, co-workers, bosses, friends, and acquaintances display presence of disorders or toxic behaviors, and no matter how kind and loving I was to those persons, it didn’t get their abuse of me to stop.

In each case, I either had to limit contact with the toxic person, or cut them out of my life entirely. The same should be true of marriage – you may have to limit contact with your toxic spouse (grey rocking or yellow rocking), or divorce the person.

The following blog post by Renee (the second one featured below, particularly) accurately explains many family and friendship relationships I’ve had over the course of my life.

I used to be extremely Codependent until a few years ago, and during the time I was Codependent, I often attracted Vulnerable Narcissists, or self absorbed, perpetually angry (or depressed) people, who would contact me mainly to complain to me about their problems, where they’d expect me to just listen and give empathy, something I did for many people for many years, and it left me mentally exhausted.

And those who used me as their “Free Therapist” rarely did anything to work on their own problems or their own mental health.

Such persons preferred to take their frustration, disappointment, pain, or anger in life, and phone or text me about it, and make their pain my pain.

It’s as though some of them wanted me to handle or carry their inner pain for them, so they wouldn’t have to face it or carry it themselves. But no person can do that for another person. It’s something we must each do for ourselves.

And the people dumping all their pain or anger in life on me very rarely (or never) allowed me to discuss MY pain or MY frustrations in life with THEM.

When you are a people pleaser, an emotional dependent, a Codependent, or an empath with no boundaries, you will often end up in these unfair friendships (or marriages), where you’re meeting the needs of the perpetually wounded or disordered person, but they generally refuse to meet your needs in return.

(Link):  The Narcissist’s Constant Victim Role

Excerpts:

by Renee Swanson

Covert narcissists are constant victims. Everyone has done them wrong. Everyone has injured their precious ego at some point or another.

The whole world is responsible for their anger, negativity, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, and even their lack of empathy. From the tiniest injury to the grandest, the narcissist continues to be the never-ending victim.

This causes all relationships with the narcissist to be strained and exhausting.

When the narcissist plays the victim so well, it leaves you with two roles in life. You are either the therapist or the enemy. You are either the rescuer or the perpetrator.

The trouble is that healthy people do not want to play these roles with their loved ones.

Your Role as a Therapist

Healthy individuals recognize that they cannot serve as a rescuer to their parent, spouse, adult child, friend, boss, etc. When a person is constantly relying on your approval and validation in order to feel good about themselves, this is not a healthy situation.

You are not helping them or yourself. You are not their therapist and should not serve as such. They need to be working on their own problems on their own, just as you should be with yours.

… Your Role As Enemy

… That peace, however [that you get from constantly apologizing to the Covert Narcissist], will be short-lived. There are not enough apologies in the world to satisfy the victim role of a narcissist.

Their pain comes from within, and yet they constantly look for external reasons and external solutions. Those solutions will NEVER be good enough. To stop being the perpetrator, you have to set your own boundaries and walk away.
— end excerpts —

You’ll note in this next blog post, excerpted below, how being married to this Covert Narcissist of hers, whom she refers to as Steven (not his real name) for 21 years did not bring this lady any joy or peace.

She does say in other podcasts or blog posts, and I think maybe this one, that there were a few moments of happiness with her husband here and there, but ultimately, her spouse would display his sullen, entitled, insensitive nature the majority of the time.

The thing about abusive or toxic people is that they are rarely abusive or toxic 100% of the time.

Abusive or toxic individuals have moments or days where they can be fun, loving, or considerate – so, you end up thinking the relationship is not so bad; it’s intermittent reinforcement (which I believe plays a role in “trauma bonding,” or is the basis of it) – that combined with fear and false hope can keep someone stuck in a terrible relationship for years.

Remember, just because your toxic or abusive person (family member, spouse, friend, whoever it is) occasionally acts nicely towards you, or treats you to a lovely dinner on your birthday, gifts you with a wonderful vacation or a ruby necklace, or whatever nice gesture or gift
– does not excuse or make-up for the rest of the relationship, where they are constantly invalidating you, neglecting you, nit picking you, overtly abusing you, or exploiting you!

Narcissists are known for “Love Bombing” their victims. You will waste years of your life on this person, longing to “bring back” the nice, sweet, kind funny version of them that they first put on display when you were first dating (or befriending) them, but that was a fake persona. It was never genuine.

The person who chronically invalidates or who ignores you now is the “real” them.

You’re never (permanently) getting back to that fake “nice, charming, loving” version of them again, unless they sense you are going to dump them, in which case, they will temporarily put on the “nice guy” (or the “I’m a poor, helpless victim in life, please help me, rescue me”) mask again (called “hoovering“) to “breadcrumb” you. Don’t fall for it.

(Link): How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse

Excerpts (you should read her ENTIRE post, not just the portion below):

by Renee Swanson

My marriage lasted almost 21 years. For most of these years, I convinced myself and the world that I had the perfect marriage. We were simply great together.

There was no other option available. The mind is powerful and can do amazing things. I truly believed that it was a match made in heaven and that he was perfect for me.

…Besides we had some really good days in between these outbursts. So I swept it under the rug every time and continued to believe that our marriage was great and wonderful.

Ever so slowly, my eyes started opening. …

Continue reading “Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too)”

Woman, 30, Sues Buddhist Monk for Sexual Battery and Trafficking – Claiming He Raped Her in a Temple

Woman, 30, Sues Buddhist Monk for Sexual Battery and Trafficking – Claiming He Raped Her in a Temple

There are perverts and opportunists in every group, every religion.

(Link): Guru Accused of ‘Mystical’ Baby Plot in U.S. Rape Case

According to a lawsuit, a Buddhist leader in the Pacific Northwest told his victim she should give birth to his baby as the child could be anointed as an enlightened guru like him.

(Link): Woman, 30, sues Buddhist monk for sexual battery and trafficking – claiming he raped her in a temple

April 12, 2023
by S. Lepore

An Oregon woman has sued an influential Buddhist monk and trusted mentor over a litany of alleged sexual offenses including rape and pressuring her to keep an unwanted pregnancy.

Dzogchen Khenpo Choga Rinpoche, who also goes by Choying Rabjam, also allegedly asked her to sit in his lap and ‘suck his tongue like a lollipop,’ echoing accusations against the Dalai Lama earlier this week.

Rachel Montgomery, now 30, has filed a lawsuit accusing him of sexual battery and sex trafficking in 2011, when she was just 19 years old.

The two met when Montgomery was a teenager who studied under him at the Dzogchen Retreat Center in Eugene.

Montgomery alleges that Choga, as he is known, would continuously use their student-teacher relationship to make unwanted sexual advances, eventually allegedly raping her inside a Buddhist temple when she was 21.

She also claims that Choga, now 58, pressured her to get drunk before he sexually to the point where she was ‘barely conscious’ when he assaulted her and ordered her to, much like the Dalai Lama asked a child to do, suck his tongue for ‘tantric empowerment.’

‘I feel like Buddhism was weaponized to take advantage of me,’ Montgomery said to The Daily Beast. ‘I don’t want to say that it gets weaponized for everyone. But for me, it was weaponized.’

Continue reading “Woman, 30, Sues Buddhist Monk for Sexual Battery and Trafficking – Claiming He Raped Her in a Temple”

The Church’s Problem: Pornification of Christian Sex by Sarah McDugal

The Church’s Problem: Pornification of Christian Sex by Sarah McDugal

(Link): The Church’s problem: Pornification of Christian sex

Excerpts:

by Sarah McDugal

As I’ve observed the firestorm of Josh Butler’s hotly debated article in The Gospel Coalition, “Sex Won’t Save You (But it Points to One who Will),” I was left with so many questions. Indeed, in what universe did a book describing the vagina as a Most Holy Place get labeled the “Protestant magnum opus on sexual ethics we’ve been waiting for”?

The now withdrawn article reflects a pervasive problem within the church: pornification of Christian sex.

Hyper-spiritualizing sex is no guarantee of getting it right. In fact, doing so might actually be a guarantee of getting it wrong. We make the same mistake as secular society when we frame sex as the endgame of intimacy. Salvation is better than sex; it is based on God’s work, not ours; it is received by faith, not by feeling; it is secured by Christ’s blood, not our bodies; it is expressed by love, not lust; it is fulfilled by resurrection, not orgasm.

… Why do so many Christian male authors idolize gratification instead of recognizing that the best sexual pleasure is the fruit of intimacy that is already established outside the bedroom? Real oneness is the friendship, companionship, commitment, and safety of two people merging lives

Continue reading “The Church’s Problem: Pornification of Christian Sex by Sarah McDugal”

Conservative Host Steven Crowder Says His Wife Wants a Divorce

Conservative Host Steven Crowder Says His Wife Wants a Divorce

(Updates Below)

(Link): Podcast: David Instone-Brewer On Divorce and Remarriage in the Church

The Bible offers guidance on many issues. But when it coms to issues like divorce and remarriage in the church, there are still many questions that don’t have quick and easy answers. Questions like …

Is adultery the only grounds for divorce?
Is remarriage considered adultery?
What should you do if your spouse walks away from the marriage?

Dr. David Instone-Brewer helps clear things up on these issues that continue to remain controversial in the church today.


Crowder Announces Divorce

I saw “divorce” – the word – trending on Twitter, clicked on that, where I saw people tweeting that conservative host Steven Crowder announced that his wife wants a divorce.

I do recall years ago, seeing Crowder saying he and his wife waited until marriage to have sex, which I respect.

I can edit this post later to add any more information that comes to light, if I find it interesting or whatever.

This just goes to show that marriage is not a fairy tale, nor is it a guarantee for ongoing happiness. You can get married and still end up being miserable – if your spouse asks for a divorce, and you don’t want one – or if your spouse is abusive, a serial cheater, or what have you.

You can get married, and your spouse still want to end the relationship, leaving you single once more. I’m guessing that marriage didn’t bring this guy happiness, and certainly not his wife – she wants out.

I’m a conservative, I’m not anti-Nuclear Family nor am I anti-parenthood, but I am so sick and tired of other conservatives tendency to elevate marriage, parenthood and The Nuclear Family to a station that even the Bible does not. The Bible does NOT REVERE the Nuclear Family (or marriage, etc).

But many of the conservatives (maybe all) revere all that. Conservatives as a group tend to bash others over the head all the time with the “rah rah motherhood, rah rah marriage” rhetoric and shame anyone who isn’t married, who doesn’t have children, who cannot or does not want to get married or have children.

Then they turn around and get divorces. Or are found out for having committed adultery or child molesting.

I will say that at least most conservatives have standards, whereas progressives just don’t. But sometimes I wonder what good is it having certain standards if you’re going to fail them consistently?

Why bother shaming or judging never married, childless women such as myself for being single and childless (which many conservatives often do) when you cannot even keep your own marriage together?

I have more to say below all these links and excerpts:

(Link): SINGLE CROWDER Who is Steven Crowder’s estranged wife Hilary Crowder? 

(Link): ‘NOT MY CHOICE’ Steven Crowder announces ‘horrendous divorce’ from wife Hilary as YouTuber speaks out on ‘deepest personal failure’

April 25, 2023

POLITICAL commentator and YouTuber Steven Crowder revealed that he and his wife, Hilary, are getting a divorce after a decade of marriage.

Crowder made the announcement on Tuesday during an episode of his podcast, Louder with Crowder.

…”Since 2021, I’ve been living through what has increasingly been a horrendous divorce.”

Crowder clarified that the end of his marriage wasn’t a result of infidelity or any kind of physical abuse on either side.

Continue reading “Conservative Host Steven Crowder Says His Wife Wants a Divorce”

Man Fatally Stabs His Wife During Bible Study

Man Fatally Stabs His Wife During Bible Study-

Sorry this lady is dead – but – this goes to show what I’ve been saying all along: marriage does not confer special character traits into people and improve them, as so many marriage-promoters (the same guys who promote The Nuclear Family, parenthood, and natalism) keep pushing, that marriage supposedly makes people more godly, loving, mature, responsible, ethical, and so on.

Also: “equally yoked” doesn’t guarantee you’re marrying a quality spouse. I’m not sure if the man mentioned in this news story is a Christian himself or not, but…  I have plenty of examples on my blog of self-identifying Christians who are arrested for beating or murdering their spouse or for molesting children and goodness knows what else.

If I understand the news story correctly, both the murdered woman and the husband had children from previous marriages(?). This also goes to show that parenthood is not a guarantee of happiness and safety in life, or of instilling good morals and virtue into a person.

(Link): Minnesota man stabs wife to death during family bible study

March 24, 2023

A deranged Minnesota man with a violent past stabbed his wife to death during a family bible study at a relative’s home earlier this week, officials said.

Robert Castillo, 40, of St. Paul was charged with second-degree murder of his wife, 41-year-old Corinna Woodhull, after allegedly knifing her repeatedly at a St. Paul residence around 9 p.m. Tuesday, according to the Ramsey County Attorney’s Office.

(Link):  Minnesota man fatally stabs wife during Bible study, asks if she’ll be OK: police

Corrina Woodhull begged a witness, “Don’t let me die,” after Robert Castillo stabbed her, court records say

 March 24, 2023
by Chris Eberhart

A Minnesota man allegedly stabbed his estranged wife 20 times during a Bible study before she begged a witness, “Don’t let me die,” court documents say.

By that time, Corrina Woodhull was soaked in blood from stab wounds that Robert Castillo had allegedly inflicted through her torso, chest and arms, according to a criminal complaint that was obtained by Fox News Digital.

The alleged assault unfolded in front of several witnesses around 9 p.m. Tuesday in a Saint Paul home, where Castillo’s sister lives and hosts a weekly Bible study.

…By 9:39 that night, Woodhull was pronounced dead in the hospital, and Castillo was charged with second-degree murder, along with two other felonies.

Continue reading “Man Fatally Stabs His Wife During Bible Study”

My Husband is Forgetting Our Family – A Tumor is Eating His Brain by J. Herz – Problems for Christian Gender Complementarianism and “Pro Nuclear Family, Marriage” Conservatives

My Husband is Forgetting Our Family – A Tumor is Eating His Brain by J. Herz – Problems for Christian Gender Complementarianism and “Pro Nuclear Family, Marriage” Conservatives

I’m sorry for this lady and her spouse.

This article serves as a couple of examples.

First of all, as a conservative who is NOT anti-Nuclear Family, nor am I anti-Marriage, I want this to serve as yet another course correction on the hyper-marriage and excessive, false Nuclear Family propaganda other conservatives pump out continually about marriage and the Nuclear Family,
which is, contrary to conservative talking points,
marriage (and the nuclear family) will not only not always and continually make a person happy, healthy, more responsible, godly, mature, ethical, but forming one’s own nuclear family or being married will not necessarily make a person content, bring lasting safety, and a better all around life.

Furthermore, marriage and the nuclear family will not save a society.

You have a married couple here where one spouse has a deteriorating brain, so he’s losing his functionality and his memories. Being married didn’t keep him from developing health problems. Being married to him is not going to cut his wife any slack.

Secondly, this also presents problems for American Christian gender complementarians (and I’d imagine complementarians in other parts of the world as well), because realistically, for their sexist, gross view of the genders and marriage to work, it can only work, and work well, in or with a certain set of very narrow circumstances:
In order for complementarianism and complementarian male headship to work the way complementarians say it should or will, the woman will have to be married to a normal, healthy, caring, considerate, responsible, psychologically healthy, relatively intelligent, non-abusive man who holds a steady job.

If a  complementarian woman is married to an abusive, unemployed, negligent, unempathetic, or disabled, permanently injured, or very stupid or very irresponsible husband, her life and her health will suffer, and the couple in question will most likely have a terrible, abusive, or toxic marriage.

I have a similar, older post on this blog about a married man who entered early dementia (in his 40s, I think), he lost the ability to speak, think or communicate clearly, and his wife became his care-taker.

Her husband became her ward to care for, not a life partner. She is more like his mother now, and not a wife.

All decision-making came down to her and her alone, because her husband was physically unable to do anything. Every day, professional health assistants come to this woman’s home to bathe and dress her husband, prop him up in a chair, and he basically sits in silence staring at a wall and drooling all day. He is unable to converse with his wife.

That is his life day in, day out, and his wife has to deal with that and work around it. She is responsible for everything now. There is no “male headship” in their marriage.

In some of these marriages, it is necessary or vital that the wife have vocational or a college education and a steady job, so that she can continue to pay whatever bills the couple has.

Complementarianism cannot and does not work in such marriages.

It is incapable of working in such situations, and when I was in complementarianism myself until my mid-30s, and even afterwards, when I’d periodically visit comp sites (such as CBMW), I never saw these situations addressed.

The one lone article I saw discussing it at a pro-complementarian site pulled a cop-out, where the article said that that wife who was caring for the brain-injured, quasi-vegetative spouse was honoring his “male headship.”

But by their own admission, the spouse in that story, who came back from a tour of duty, quasi-mentally impaired (he cannot think or communicate) and in a wheelchair forever, is incapable of carrying out complementarian male headship: the wife had to take over his and her “roles.”

Complementarianism and its adherents fail to take into account men who are abusive, incompetent, irresponsible, drug addicts, who have personality disorders, who are permanently physically or mentally incapacitated, etc.

And no, merely saying that women married to such failures at “male headship” are not, in your opinion, allowed to “biblically” divorce such a man, is not an actual answer or explanation. It still does not address the substance of the problem. That is one of a few huge gaping holes and failings in their sexist, false, un-biblical, horrid gender theology.

(Link): My husband is forgetting our family — a tumor is eating his brain

March 15, 2023
by Jane Herz

A British father of two, who may only have three months left to live, is beginning to forget his family — and any memory of his wedding day.

Kirsty Chorlton, a 34-year-old from Wales, says time is running out for her 37-year-old husband, Wayne.

He was reportedly diagnosed with a butterfly glioma, a rare type of brain tumor that is slowly eating away at his brain. Memory loss is just one symptom of the tragic illness.

“We’ve been left completely devastated as a family, as his memory has gone really bad, and he can’t remember much of his daily routine or big life moments,” Chorlton told Jam Press.

Continue reading “My Husband is Forgetting Our Family – A Tumor is Eating His Brain by J. Herz – Problems for Christian Gender Complementarianism and “Pro Nuclear Family, Marriage” Conservatives”

Massachusetts Man Unknowingly Hires Undercover Federal Agent to Kill Wife

Massachusetts Man Unknowingly Hires Undercover Federal Agent to Kill Wife

For the trillionth time on my blog: I am not a progressive, I do not hate The Nuclear Family or Marriage, but I do totally abhor how so many Christians and secular conservatives continue to maintain this FALSE promise or illusion that “the family” is necessary for society, to save it, or that marriage or parenthood will make a person more godly.

Can you imagine being a single woman who wanted to be married one day, and you supposed that the guy you would get married to would be a real Prince Charming who only had your best interest at heart, only to find out later he tried to hire a hitman to murder you?

I don’t think most women, when they daydream about getting married one day, fantasize about their husband- to- be getting them bumped off by a John Wick type of guy.

Did being married make this guy more loving, ethical, godly, or responsible? No, it sure did not. I think the article says that this guy is also a parent – he and the wife he was trying to kill had a few children together.

Maybe getting married makes people LESS godly, mature, responsible, loving, or ethical. 🤔

Do you think the guy in this news story reached a state of perfection and then God allowed him a wife? I’d say no.

If there is a God, I don’t think if God follows a directive of, “well, I cannot permit someone to marry unless they clean up their act and became a wonderful person,” as so many Christian dating advice books, articles, and blogs argue, then God would not have sent a woman into this man’s life for him to marry.

Obviously, since killer clowns like this guy are able to marry, it shows that one doesn’t have to meet some kind of criteria of godliness and great morals before God will allow that person to marry, or that sure is not true for every person.

(Link): Massachusetts man unknowingly hires undercover federal agent to kill wife

by Isabel Keane
March 19, 2023

A Massachusetts man who attempted to hire a contract killer to murder his wife had unknowingly asked an undercover federal agent to carry out the hit, authorities say.

Massimo Marenghi, 56, now faces up to a decade behind bars after pleading guilty Thursday to the murder-for-hire, the US Attorney’s Office for the District of Massachusetts said in a release.

The Malden man “complained about his wife seeking a restraining order against him” during a January 2021 meeting with an undercover FBI agent posing as a contract killer, officials said.

Marenghi later met with the undercover agent and asked him to help “eliminate” his problem as the pair “discussed a price of $10,000,” the feds said.

Continue reading “Massachusetts Man Unknowingly Hires Undercover Federal Agent to Kill Wife”

Single, People Pleasing Guy Murdered by Neighbor (Incident Triggered by His People Pleasing) – Another Precaution for Codependents (and for Complementarian Women)

Single, People Pleasing Guy Murdered by Neighbor (Incident Triggered by His People Pleasing) – Another Precaution for Codependents (and for Complementarian Women)

I’m not blaming this guy for his own murder, but I am saying in this post if you’re a people pleaser, an empath, or a codependent and/or you are a woman who was brought up to believe in Christian gender complementarianism, you need to learn how to start having boundaries right away (regardless of what your church or church preacher thinks), and get very comfortable with saying “no” to people, or you could end up like this guy.

The chain of events that led to his death was his good nature, kindness, willingness to help other people and an inability to say “no” to people.

I suspect he was a codependent.

First, here is some background before I resume with my observations:

(Link): Ronald March Murder: Where is Lance Standberg Now?

Excerpts:

October 2022

A vicious attack in an alley in Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada, left Ronald March dead in August 2012.

The authorities quickly found the person responsible, though, since both men had a history of animosity.

Investigation Discovery’s ‘Fear Thy Neighbor: Hell-Bent’ focuses on the events leading up to Ronald’s death and how the tragic attack occurred.

So, let’s find out more about what happened then, shall we?

How Did Ronald March Die?

Ronald William March was described as an avid reader and an intelligent man. Loved ones remembered the Vancouver resident as gentle and kind, always going out of his way to help others if needed.

Continue reading “Single, People Pleasing Guy Murdered by Neighbor (Incident Triggered by His People Pleasing) – Another Precaution for Codependents (and for Complementarian Women)”

Family Are Furious With Daughter After She Sues Them For Stealing Her College Fund So Their Son Could Have A Grand Wedding

Family Are Furious With Daughter After She Sues Them For Stealing Her College Fund So Their Son Could Have A Grand Wedding

Another example of how Nuclear Families do not save culture or a nation, they don’t improve people’s character or make them more happy – it also shows that being a parent, being married, doesn’t make a person more ethical, happier, or loving.

I don’t think it’s okay that this family prioritized the dippy son’s wedding over the daughter’s college future. That money was not theirs to take.

(Link): These Parents Spent Their Daughter’s College Fund On Their Son’s Wedding — Now She’s Suing Them, And It’s All Very Messy

Excerpts:

“My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding.”

by Alexa Lisitza

Recently, a Reddit user who goes by the username u/Accomplished_Bar5656 (who we’ll call Accomplished for short) shared (Link): a post about why she had to take out student loans despite her great-aunt setting up a fund for her, and it’s quite the ride.

The post was originally shared in the Am I the Asshole subreddit, where people present sticky situations to readers and allow them to decide who was wrong in the given situation.

Here’s what happened, according to Accomplished: “My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives,” they said. “In our culture, education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.”

Unlike other women in her family, her great-aunt lived in London and received a college education. She went on to become a doctor, marry a British man, and move to practice in the US.

“She funded the education of as many of her nieces and grand-nieces as she could,” Accomplished said. “When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could.”

This led Accomplished to believe her future access to education was secure. However, “My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding. My sister didn’t care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college. [But] when I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.”

Continue reading “Family Are Furious With Daughter After She Sues Them For Stealing Her College Fund So Their Son Could Have A Grand Wedding”

Judge Orders Man to Pay Ex-Wife Over $200K for 25 Years of Housework – Doesn’t Jibe With Sexist Complementarian or Trad Wife Propaganda

Judge Orders Man to Pay Ex-Wife Over $200K for 25 Years of Housework – Doesn’t Jibe With Sexist Complementarian or Trad Wife Propaganda

The sub-heading of the news article below is

“Ex-wife claimed her dedication to housework left her without career prospects”

I am not anti-marriage. I am not opposed to women who, if they understand what they’re getting into, decide of their own accord to marry and be a housewife (however, I do not respect this choice if it’s done primarily or only because of church teachings, societal expectations, or family pressure).

If you are a woman, and you know in your heart of hearts that one of your big dreams or goals in life is to marry and be a housewife, then go for it! But it has to be YOUR freely chosen goal or dream, not that of your church, your parents, or your culture.

I do oppose the rigid, sexist societal, family, and religious views that tell women that their only or highest purpose in life is to marry and get pregnant.

I oppose the flip side of this rhetoric, where a society, family, or religion (or cultural, conservative commentators) shame, mock, or criticize women for not marrying or for not having children (for whatever reasons).

Too often, I’ve seen moderate to higher level complementarians argue that women should not get college degrees, and/or should not get a paying job or career.

There’s also been a new-ish trend the last year or two called “Trad Wife,” that seems mostly composed of secular women who want to live out a 1950s, June Cleaver housewife lifestyle (I may be doing a post about this later).

Super hard core wacko patriarchist Lori Alexander, of The Transformed Wife, even goes so far as to say (if I remember correctly) that single women shouldn’t get a job outside of the home and just “trust the Lord to provide.”

(Side note: that is the same advice given to Christian single women: just trust the Lord to send you a husband! Yeah, well, I did a lot of trusting in the Lord, I also tried dating sites and church single classes, and I’m still single, so that advice is bogus.)

Anyway. I have another news story on this blog of a married woman who was jobless, and she was depending on her husband’s disability (or social security? I forget which) payments, but he died in a hospital when his body bursts into flames… so now, this woman, with no job, no income, and a dead husband, has no financial means.

It’s not a wise life choice for a woman to skip college (or a trade school of some kind) and to depend wholly on a husband for financial support, when he may divorce her, she may have to divorce him, or he may die from a heart attack, car accident, or from another factor.

(Link): Court Orders Woman’s Ex-Husband to Pay Her $215K for 25 Years of Housework During Their Marriage

Ivana Moral of Spain will be paid by her former husband, who owns a flourishing gym business, according to multiple reports

(Link): Judge orders man to pay ex-wife over $200K for 25 years of housework

Ex-wife claimed her dedication to housework left her without career prospects

March 12, 2023
by Michael Lee

A Spanish judge ordered a man to pay his ex-wife $215,000 for 25 years of housework that she “exclusively” handled while they were a couple.

Ivana Moral won the judgment after arguing she was burdened by chores for the couple during their 25 years of marriage, according to a report from WSB, citing the Spanish language newspaper El Pais.

Continue reading “Judge Orders Man to Pay Ex-Wife Over $200K for 25 Years of Housework – Doesn’t Jibe With Sexist Complementarian or Trad Wife Propaganda”