Dear Abby – She Wants A Divorce From the Husband Who Hid His Vulnerable Narcissism (Emotional Abuse, Extreme Pessimism, Victim Mentality, etc) While They Were Dating

Dear Abby – She Wants A Divorce From the Husband Who Hid His Vulnerable Narcissism (Emotional Abuse, Extreme Pessimism, Victim Mentality, etc) While They Were Dating

What an interesting and informative letter to Dear Abby (I’ll get to the actual link and letter below, but I had some comments to make about it first).

It appears to me that the woman (who calls herself “Worn Out Wife”) married a classical Vulnerable Narcissist (sometimes also called a “Covert Narcissist” or a “shy” or “closeted” narcissist). The guy has all the usual traits for one.

From what I’ve read on the topic, when Narcissists of all varieties date someone, or are trying to win someone over (could also include a friend or co-worker, not just a romantic prospect for marriage), they start out trying to win you over – they will use what is called “love bombing,” mirroring, etc., and in the love bombing stage, they turn up the charm and fake compassion and fake kindness to a very high degree.

Narcissists of all types lack empathy, are highly entitled, rude, and abusive in private with those closest to them. (Well, that’s generally how it goes; not all narcissists exhibit or practice the same usual narcissistic patterns or behaviors as other narcissists.)

“Love Bombing” can appear different depending on the type of Narcissist we’re talking about, and sometimes a Narcissist with one predominant style – a Grandiose one, for example – may dabble in a few of the Covert Narcissistic type behaviors, or vice versa.

The Grandiose ones are known for being really charming upfront, while the love bombing of the Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissist usually involves them playing on and exploiting your empathy and heart strings by presenting themselves as a great big victim in life, whom everybody has hurt or let down at one time or another.

Early in a relationship (whether dating, friendship, or workplace) Vulnerable Narcissists will go on and on about all the heartaches and set backs they’ve experienced from their childhood into adulthood – they therefore get you to pity them and want to help, rescue, and save them – and at least initially in a relationship, the Vulnerable Narcissist will pretend to care deeply about your heartbreaks and pain in life.

(But Vulnerable Narcissists don’t really, truly care about your feelings or your problems – they only pretend to care in order to draw you into a relationship, and some do this to get you to share YOUR personal problems with them, so they can weaponize your shame, regrets, and vulnerabilities against you later.
They may occasionally pretend to care as a relationship drags on, if they are interested in holding on to you, so they may toss you the occasional “crumb” of empathy. But they don’t have any empathy for you and don’t genuinely care about your pain or problems).

(Getting you to pity and feel sorry for them also causes you to lower any normal boundaries you may usually have, and you let this toxic person into your life. Sociopaths and psychopaths also play at this same game.)

It sounds to me like this woman’s husband is predominantly a Vulnerable type of Narcissist but that he used more of the usual Love Bombing techniques of a Grandiose one while he was dating this lady.

Once they got married, though, he didn’t feel the need, or have the energy, to keep maintaining the false mask of “Mr. Charming,” “Mr. Sensitive, Mr. Kindness,” chucked all that aside, and only THEN (once he had her) allowed his true Vulnerable Narcissistic nature to appear,
which consists of a super sour, pessimistic, bitter, “negative nancy” attitude, with a huge side order of victim mentality, along with common Vulnerable Narcissistic behaviors of constantly complaining, joy killing, and constant fault finding (of a spouse, or whomever is closest to them privately).

And yes, as this woman says of her husband – he’s miserable – Vulnerable Narcissists are usually miserable people.

Vulnerable Narcissists truly, honestly think they have life harder than other people, they believe that God “picks on them” specifically, they believe that others haven’t had as many obstacles in life as they have had, they further believe that if only God, or people, had given them more chances and breaks in life, they could’ve been more successful.

Vulnerable Narcissists also tend to be jealous of other people – other people’s success, homes, marriages, beauty, achievements, etc.

Another thing I learned about Vulnerable Narcissists from reading works by psychologists who specialize in Narcissism is that they will only show interest in, or want to talk about, topics that are of interest to them personally.

If you try to bring up a topic that you’re “into,” but that the Vulnerable Narcissist is not, they find that boring and will usually ignore you and not have anything to say. They will either fade away, leave the room, or try to pivot the conversation on to a topic that they are interested in.

Vulnerable Narcissists only get interested and animated regarding topics that they’re already interested in themselves.

I certainly experienced that dynamic with (Link): an online ex-friend who seemed to be on the Vulnerable Narcissist spectrum (she also exhibited some of their other well known traits). I’ve also known a few other people in my life who’ve had the same, or similar, behaviors.

And no, no matter how hard you try to make the Vulnerable Narcissist happy, it’s never good enough.

Whether it’s with a Covert or a Grandiose, no matter how hard you try to win them over, make them happy, or appease or please them, they will always find something to nit pick about and criticize. They will sometimes move the goal posts, so you can never, ever win.

In her letter, the lady says this:

He has taken the things away from me that I love — flowers, gardening, pets, books, friends, etc.

I wish the letter writer had elaborated on that portion a little more, because I’m not totally sure what she means.

I have a few Narcissists in my own life, and I do know that once they find out what your hobbies are, or a goal or dream you have, they will mock it and make fun of it to the point (and the Vulnerable Narcissists may complain about it to the point) that you get rid of those hobbies, dreams, or goals.

You may find it easier to cave in to their wish that you stop doing X (whatever X is) then to listen to your Vulnerable Narcissist husband, boyfriend, sibling, or whomever it is, bitch, moan and gripe about the same thing repeatedly (whether it’s doing X or having a pet in the house or whatever it is),
until their non-stop complaining about it drives you nuts, and so you will do anything to get them to shut the hell up, to stop the complaining about it (I also went through that with the ex fiance of mine).

I’m not sure if that is what the letter writer was getting at or not.

Lastly, people should stop blaming women for marrying abusive or controlling men.

I’ve seen so many Christian preachers victim-blame women who write in for advice on Christian television shows (or podcasts, magazines, or blogs) on what to do about their abusive marriage, and many preachers will shame the woman and say,
“Didn’t you see what kind of man he was before you married? You should have. Now you’re stuck with him.”

The problem is that a lot of abusive people (including women, not just men) HIDE their true abusive natures while they’re dating.

This is also true in other areas. That is to say, if someone is a pathological Narcissist, they’re usually not going to advertise their Narcissistic attitudes and behaviors openly at church, friendships, or in jobs – they will only reveal their nasty behavior in private around a few select targets,
or, if they’re the leader in a church or boss at a job, where they know they are immune from consequences, they may openly emotionally and verbally abuse their staff, for instance.

But concerning marriage, most abusers conceal their controlling, constant fault finding, verbally abusive behavior (and other terrible tendencies) during the dating stage, and only allow it to show after they marry the person and/or know that the person they’re in a relationship is committed to them, is financially and/or socially dependent on them (many abusers isolate their targets from friends and family).

Most people are not going to walk freely, knowingly, willingly, and openly into a marriage to someone they can see and know is controlling, constantly critical, a user, or abusive.

If the abuser quite openly abused and behaved obnoxiously during the dating stage, no woman would ever marry these guys – that’s why abusers pour on the charm and hide the violence or psychological abuse until AFTER they marry.

This is very much a “bait and switch” phenomenon, where the Narcissist lies about who they are; the Narcissist presents upfront one way, while in the dating stage, but then differently, after the person is in their clutches.

As such, the Christians who still advocate for the “permanence of marriage” view, or ones similar (that don’t allow emotional abuse, for example, as a grounds for “biblical” divorce) are in error.

I don’t think most Christians have bothered to study Cluster B personality disorders or Narcissistic Abuse at all. Perhaps if more did, they’d be more open to re-interpreting the Bible and realizing God doesn’t expect anyone to stay married to an abuser until death.

And this is not a problem just in marriage – I don’t want to get into it too much here and now, but where abuse and mistreatment arises in the workplace or in friendships, Christians are also ignorant clowns who end up doing a lot of damage to targets.

For example, if you’re being bullied in your place of employment by a jerk, depending on the particular circumstances, it may be very counter-productive to take the usual, naive, un-workable Christian advice of “turn the cheek and pray for the enemy” towards your workplace bully.

The reality is, most bullies have to be stood up to. You cannot sit back, be passive, be loving to your workplace enemy, just pray that God removes the bully, and hope things just work out.

If you’re dealing with a “Cluster B” bully, the best way may be to go “grey rock” on that individual and then try to change jobs as fast as you can.

Here is the letter from the lady who seems to be married to what sounds an awful lot like a Vulnerable Narcissist:

📫📨📬📫

(Link): Dear Abby: I want to divorce my husband but he has cancer

by Dear Abby
January 24, 2023

DEAR ABBY:
My husband and I have been married for nine years. While we were dating, he was kind, considerate and loving.

After we married, he turned into a chronic complainer, something he later confessed he had been hiding while we dated.

He talks to me like I’m trash and then gets nice when he wants something.

Continue reading “Dear Abby – She Wants A Divorce From the Husband Who Hid His Vulnerable Narcissism (Emotional Abuse, Extreme Pessimism, Victim Mentality, etc) While They Were Dating”

President of Leading Trans Org Admits Social Contagion is Driving Surge in Kids Identifying as Transgender

President of Leading Trans Org Admits Social Contagion is Driving Surge in Kids Identifying as Transgender

(Link): President of leading trans org admits social contagion is driving surge in kids identifying as transgender

Excerpts:

Jan. 24, 2023
by Mia Ashton

The president of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) has admitted that social contagion is a factor in the dramatic increase in children and adolescents identifying as transgender.

Dr. Marci Bowers, a trans-identified male and president of the leading transgender health organization that pushes for affirmation and medical intervention for youth who believe themselves to be members of the opposite sex, made the comments in a recent interview with the (Link): New York Times.

“There are people in my community who will deny that there’s any sort of ‘social contagion’ — I shouldn’t say social contagion, but at least peer influence on some of these decisions,” Bowers told the New York Times. “I think that’s just not recognizing human behavior.”

This is not the first time Bowers has made such comments. In 2021, the celebrity gender surgeon who has performed more than 2,000 vaginoplasties acknowledged the possibility that the surge in teenage girls identifying as boys was a social trend.

“I think there probably are people who are influenced. There is a little bit of ‘Yeah, that’s so cool. Yeah, I kind of want to do that too’,” Bowers said in an interview with Abigail Shrier, author of Irreversible Damage.

This didn’t stop WPATH from removing all lower age requirements from its latest Standards of Care guidelines, nor did it cause the internationally respected transgender health group to reconsider advising clinicians to immediately affirm every child who declares a transgender identity.

Continue reading “President of Leading Trans Org Admits Social Contagion is Driving Surge in Kids Identifying as Transgender”

Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical

Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical

It’s more and more difficult for me to want to stick with the Christian faith at all when I see so few people who claim to be Christians actually consistently live out a Christian lifestyle, or who commit such obviously anti-biblical actions.

Also let this serve as yet another example of how “hyper pro marriage, hyper pro Nuclear Family” views put out by Christians simply is not true: Christian marriage didn’t make this couple more godly, mature, loving, or ethical, nor did this marriage improve society.

Further, Gender Complementarian teaching (which includes “male headship” teaching) is clearly false, since so many self professing Christian men are unethical dirt balls.

(Link): Pastor Who Used Homeless as Forced Labor, Three Others Plead Guilty to Benefits Fraud 

(Link): California pastor gets jail time for using homeless in benefits fraud scheme: ‘Appalling abuse of power’

Victor Gonzalez and wife were part of church labor trafficking scheme, according to prosecutors

by Jon Brown

A California pastor and his wife were sentenced to prison time earlier this month after pleading guilty to a charge related to what federal prosecutors described as a church labor trafficking scheme that victimized the homeless.

Victor Gonzalez, the head pastor of California-based Imperial Valley Ministries (IVM), was sentenced to six months in prison and another six months of house confinement after pleading guilty in a San Diego federal court to conspiracy to commit benefits fraud, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune.

His wife, Susan Gonzalez, who pleaded guilty to the same charge, received a time-served sentence.

Continue reading “Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical”

Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned

Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned

Progressive causes like LGBTQ can have all kinds of terrible and unintended consequences, one of which is, perverted men claiming to be trans getting access to women’s bathrooms so they can sexually assault women, but then, there are other odd ball, troubling, or strange ramifications, such as this one (and why would Trans groups be upset about this? Their weird views about sex and gender are responsible for opening this can of worms in the first place)…

Also way further below, I discuss the apparent hypocrisy of conservatives, including Christian gender complementarians, about their inconsistency of when and where to support motherhood, and I also comment on conservative commentator Tucker Carlson’s sexist attitudes about women having careers.

(Link): Man Legally Changed Gender to Gain Custody of His Kids. Trans Groups Are Concerned. – via VICE:

Excerpts:

René Salinas Ramos says the legal change is an attempt to gain full custody of his daughters, because Ecuadoran law favors mothers in custody battles.

By Nathaniel Janowitz
January 5, 2023

A cisgender man in Ecuador legally changed his gender to female in an attempt to gain custody of his two daughters. But LGBTQ groups are concerned about the man’s use of a law designed to promote transgender rights, and what effect it could have in the future.

René Salinas Ramos, 47, told local media that the change was not related to his sexuality or identity, but rather that the Ecuadorian legal system gives preferable rights to mothers over fathers when it comes to the custody of children.

… “I am very sure of my sexuality. What I have sought is that I want to be a mother, so that I can also give the love and protection of a mother.”

Continue reading “Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned”

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

I’m a conservative, but I’ve been beyond fed up for years now at how so many other conservatives, as well as sexists of whatever variety, assume that the reason why most women are single past the age of 30 is because they chose career before marriage.

Along with that is the other annoying, very wrong, and sexist assumption by men online that all of us women who remain single past the age of 30 had lots and lots of “nice guys” who wanted to date us back in our 20s, but we coldly, cruelly turned them all down.

I don’t know what the hell those men are talking about, because I did not have lots and lots of men asking me out on dates when I was in my twenties.

But it’s simply not true that all women choose career over “marriage and family.”

Why aren’t men giving up careers to be stay at home fathers, taking care of children?

I never cared much one way or the other if I ever had children, but I had wanted to be married. And I’m not single because I “chose career over spouse.”

I have more observations about this essay below:

(Link): The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

The image of the single, childless “career woman” is drawn so sharply in our minds, so deeply ingrained in culture and overused in media, it obfuscates the real story. Contrary to popular belief, most working women are not putting their careers ahead of love, marriage and motherhood.

Never mind that there are no “career men” — no one accuses a single, childless man of prioritizing career over love and family just because he’s single and can pay the rent.

But women are made to wear this label — though I have yet to meet a woman who has declined a date with a guy she’s interested in because she’d rather be on a Zoom call.

While college-educated women are settling down and having children later than was once the case, the “career woman” is mostly a mid-century myth, an outlier like Mad Men’s Peggy Olson, who belongs to a time when women went to college to earn their “MRS” degree.

Continue reading “The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older”

A Husband and Father Died on Thanksgiving After Flames Burst Over His Body When Hospital Staff Used Defibrillator Paddles – Wife Relied on Dead Husband’s Social Security

A Husband and Father Died on Thanksgiving After Flames Burst Over His Body When Hospital Staff Used Defibrillator Paddles   – Wife Relied on Dead Husband’s Social Security

 Being married and a father didn’t save this guy.

His wife is now alone again. Marriage didn’t ultimately make her happy or protect her from loss and stress.

Also, Complementarian Christians and anti-Feminist conservatives are in error to brainwash women into thinking they can or should always count on a husband to rescue them, pay their way, etc, because what happens if that married woman doesn’t have a career of her own, no savings, and her husband dies, and she was relying on his income or social security (as was the case here)?

I am a conservative, I’ve never been a feminist, but, I also do not buy into the usual sexist, backwards propaganda other conservatives push on to women about marriage and motherhood, either.

Other conservatives think the way to ‘own the libs’ on these issues is to stupidly go in the 180 degree (opposite) direction of neo-marxist, anti-motherhood feminist, and progressive views,
and then “double down” even more on marriage, natalism, and motherhood.

They’re actually creating more problems than they’re solving with that approach, but that is their comfort zone, and they seem determined to stick to it.

This woman, if she had a career of her own and savings, might not have fallen into this situation.
And Christian Patriarchists and Complementarians actually double down on this faulty approach of advising or pressuring women to be nothing but stay at home wives and mothers, leaving them with possibly no fall-back income by which to pay their bills, if their husband dies or leaves them.
It’s very unwise advice or an unwise way to approach life.

(Link): A Tennessee husband and father died on Thanksgiving after flames burst over his body when hospital staff used defibrillator paddles

by Katie Balevic
Sat, December 3, 2022

    • A Tennessee man died after he caught on fire while hospital staff used a defibrillator on him.
    • The man’s wife was in the room when her husband caught ablaze, telling WKRN that “it just blew up.”
    • The hospital system said they are reviewing the “functionality of equipment” following the incident.

A father died in Tennessee on Thanksgiving day after he caught on fire as hospital staff attempted to use a defibrillator on him.

Bobby Ray Stark was bedridden for seven years and relied on his wife of 35 years, Kathy Stark, for care, according to WKRN. He went to the hospital for a foot infection and bed sores last month was later transferred to TriStar Centennial, where he coded and staff tried to revive him with a defibrillator, Kathy told the outlet.

“Then they started the paddles, and it just blew up, everything,” Kathy told WKRN. “I saw that, and I just burst out.”

Kathy told the outlet that she watched the flames cover her husband’s body.

Continue reading “A Husband and Father Died on Thanksgiving After Flames Burst Over His Body When Hospital Staff Used Defibrillator Paddles – Wife Relied on Dead Husband’s Social Security”

Woman Claims Married Minister, Spiritual Counselor Suggested They Get Naked For Therapy: Lawsuit

Woman Claims Married Minister, Spiritual Counselor Suggested They Get Naked For Therapy: Lawsuit

Complementarian “male headship,” as taught by Complementarians is false, as many Christ-professing men are perverts, and God would not ask women to submit to perverts.

Secondly, note that this guy is married – marriage, contra “Focus On the Family,” Al Mohler, and other marriage- promoting Christian groups and persons – does not make a person godly, ethical, responsible, or mature.

Also: contra most old school Christian “how to get married” advice, God is not demanding that a person achieve a level of godliness or perfection before he will allow them a spouse. If God with-held spouses from people for being flawed, abusive, or perverted, this guy below would not have gotten married.

(Link): Woman claims minister, spiritual counselor suggested they get naked for therapy: lawsuit

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
Dec 21, 2022

An Iowa woman has filed a lawsuit seeking compensation for emotional distress and negligence after a former minister at Lutheran Church of Hope in West Des Moines, who was also serving as her spiritual counselor, allegedly suggested they get naked in bed as a part of her counseling.

The woman, who The Christian Post has chosen not to identify at this time because of her claims that she is a victim of sexual misconduct, alleges in the lawsuit filed in Polk County District Court earlier this month that the actions of her former counselor, Asa Crow, went “beyond all possible bounds of decency.”

According to the lawsuit (Link): cited by the Des Moines Register, the woman claims she met with Crow for counseling several times in 2021 for “spiritual direction.”

During those meetings, she alleges that Crow, who got married in 2016, made escalating remarks about sexual health. She further claims that he eventually suggested her spiritual direction “may include sexual acts” after proposing that they undress and sit in each other’s laps in a bed.

Continue reading “Woman Claims Married Minister, Spiritual Counselor Suggested They Get Naked For Therapy: Lawsuit”

Married Pastor, Father of 3, Faces Prison Time For Sex (ie, Sexual Abuse) With Teenage Intern During Counseling – by L. Blair

Married Pastor, Father of 3, Faces Prison Time For Sex (ie, Sexual Abuse) With Teenage Intern During Counseling – by L. Blair

I’m grateful that the site or reporter mentioned that this guy is a MARRIED FATHER. Too often in culture – especially among Christians – there’s an assumption that single adults are perverts, when, quite often, these news reports of perverts are married perverts, and sometimes, these married perverts have biological children of their own.

This guy is so gross for 50 different reasons, some of which are, that he groomed and sexually abused these kids in churches – during counseling sessions. Lord. So nasty.

Also note: marriage and parenthood did NOT make this man more godly, mature, ethical, or responsible (as so many hyper pro Nuclear Family conservatives and Christians teach), and no, obviously, since this pervert got a spouse, God is NOT keeping spouses from single adults until they achieve some level of godliness or perfection.

(Link): Married pastor, father of 3 faces up to 35 years in prison for sex with teenage intern during counseling 

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
December 19, 2022

A married Minnesota pastor and father of three is facing up to 35 years in prison and $90,000 in fines for allegedly having felonious sex multiple times with a teenage intern during counseling sessions at his former church.

Investigator Shawn Bohnen of the Sleepy Eye Police Department declared in a probable cause affidavit filed in Brown County Court that from about October 2019 through February 2020, Pastor Nathan Van Alfred Luong, 36, engaged in a sexual relationship with his underage victim multiple times while he counseled her at Trinity Lutheran Church.

Under Minnesota Law, members of the clergy can be charged with criminal sexual conduct in the third degree if a complainant is not their spouse and sexual penetration occurred during a meeting where the complainant sought or received religious spiritual advice, aid or comfort from the perpetrator.

Continue reading “Married Pastor, Father of 3, Faces Prison Time For Sex (ie, Sexual Abuse) With Teenage Intern During Counseling – by L. Blair”

Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!

Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!

Not only will many people find too much excess weight horrible to look at, but being overweight can result in life-shortening medical conditions.

The thinner spouse may end up being the “care taker” to the fat spouse – that is not a role I would want for myself.

A lot of women are visually oriented and care about what a man looks like, but Christian Gender Complementarians have un-biblical, incorrect teachings and assumptions that God “wired” men to be visual, that women only care about “emotional connection” and not what a guy looks like – FALSE!

Women DO CARE about what their male partner looks like.

The woman in the following example says she “doesn’t care” about what her husband looks like, but she isn’t quite clear on this point, because she says when they first met, her spouse lifted weights regularly and stayed in shape – I am not clear if she means she was okay with the way he looked initially, but now she’s not, or what.

(Link): Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese

by Jurgita Dominauskaitė and Saulė Tolstych
Dec 2022

The traditional vow the bride and the groom give one another goes something like this: “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.”

But what if you are really annoyed that your spouse is getting sick and they aren’t doing anything to prevent it when they can?

Is that enough of a reason to leave them? This woman online asks the internet if she would be unreasonable to threaten to divorce her husband if he became morbidly obese.

More info: Mumsnet [I want to tell my husband I will divorce him if he gains a lot more weight]

Woman noticed her husband has been gaining weight and wants to tell him that if he ends up like his dad, she will leave him

The Original Poster (OP) has a father-in-law who is morbidly obese and has so much excess weight that he finds it hard to walk. This concept is hard for the woman to wrap her head around as she likes to be active and couldn’t imagine doing that to one’s body.

Continue reading “Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!”

Bentley-Driving Accused Cult Leader Has 20 Wives as Young as Age 9, Possibly Married Own Daughter, FBI Alleges

Bentley-Driving Accused Cult Leader Has 20 Wives as Young as Age 9, Possibly Married Own Daughter, FBI Alleges

Christian Complementarianism could be used to justify this nasty behavior discussed in this news article below.

Complementarianism also has a lot in common with the sexist views of women and marriage as found in Islam and Mormonism.

All of this should cause Christian Complementarians to take pause and realize how un-biblical their gender ideology is, but they are reluctant to do that.

Let this be yet another example in opposition to the usual conservative propaganda: marriage and parenthood do NOT make people more ethical, godly, responsible, or loving.

(Link): Polygamist ‘prophet’ accused of marrying 20 women and girls, including his own daughter, hauling some of them around in windowless trailer with bucket for toilet

by Isabel Keane
Dec 4, 2022

An Arizona polygamist cult leader has been accused of marrying more than 20 women, most under the age of 15 — reportedly including his own daughter.

An FBI affidavit filed Friday in Washington, and obtained by the Salt Lake Tribune. contains horrifying accusations against Samuel Rappylee Bateman, 46, of incest, group sex acts involving adults and children– some as young as 9 — and child sex trafficking.

(Link):  Arizona polygamist cult leader Samuel Bateman had 20 wives, most under age 15 

(Link): Bentley-driving Arizona ‘Mormon prophet’ had TWENTY wives as young as nine including his own daughter, FBI says – and drove them around in a TRAILER with a bucket for a toilet

Dec 4, 2022

An Arizona polygamist cult leader had 20 wives aged as young as nine, married his own daughter, and drove his spouses around in a trailer with a bucket for a toilet, it is claimed.

A new FBI affidavit has revealed shocking allegations against Bentley-driving Samuel Rappylee Bateman, 46, who was arrested in Arizona earlier this year.

Samuel Rappylee Bateman, 46, is accused by witnesses of ‘marrying’ up to 20 women and girls as young as nine, including his own daughter, according to the affidavit filed on Friday, the Salt Lake Tribune reported.

(Link): Bentley-driving accused cult leader has 20 wives as young as age 9, possibly married own daughter, FBI alleges

Samuel Rappylee Bateman allegedly trafficked women, girls across state lines
by Danielle Wallace
Dec 4, 2022

The FBI is accusing a 46-year-old Arizona alleged polygamist cult leader of having 20 wives, many of whom were underage — as young as 9 years old — and of possibly marrying his own daughter.

The wives were allegedly trafficked across state lines in a trailer — forced to use a bucket as a toilet — while the self-proclaimed prophet drove two Bentleys while pushing failed business ventures in real estate and goal coaching.

Continue reading “Bentley-Driving Accused Cult Leader Has 20 Wives as Young as Age 9, Possibly Married Own Daughter, FBI Alleges”

Shocking Moment Woman, 18, is Carried Away in ‘Bride-Stealing’ by Russian Man After She Refused to Marry Him

Shocking Moment Woman, 18, is Carried Away in ‘Bride-Stealing’ by Russian Man After She Refused to Marry Him

Another example of an infinite number of why Christian Complementarian “Male Headship” is a bunch of sexist, anti-biblical garbage and Toxic Masculinity is true:

(Link): Shocking moment woman, 18, is carried away in ‘bride-stealing’ by Russian man after she refused to marry him

Excerpts:

by Will Stewart
Nov 29, 2022

A shocking video shows how an 18-year-old woman was ‘kidnapped by a Russian man and his family’ after she refused to marry him.

Bella Ravoyan is seen being carried out of an apartment block in the city of Tambov by two men.

She was abducted after celebrating her 18th birthday by the man she rejected – named as Amik Shamoyan, 20 – along with his father, Oganes, 48, and brother Alo, 24 – according to law enforcement.

The woman was taken to the Nizhny Novgorod region, evidently to force her to agree to a wedding.

After several days, the woman – reported missing by her father – escaped and went to police, say reports.

Continue reading “Shocking Moment Woman, 18, is Carried Away in ‘Bride-Stealing’ by Russian Man After She Refused to Marry Him”

Thanksgiving Horror: Family Members Arrive at Relatives’ Home for Holiday Gathering, Discover Husband Had Dismembered and Disemboweled His Wife, Police Say

Thanksgiving Horror: Family Members Arrive at Relatives’ Home for Holiday Gathering, Discover Husband Had Dismembered and Disemboweled His Wife, Police Say

My, my, my. If nothing else undercuts the hyper- marriage- and nuclear family propaganda spewed by my fellow conservatives, this sure does.

This woman was married – did being married bring her happiness, joy, or peace? Nope. She is very dead – killed by her looney husband.

Did being married make this husband more ethical, sane, godly, mentally healthy, or responsible? Nope, it sure did not.

If you’re a single adult disappointed to be age 35 or older and still single (when you had expected marriage), just remember, there ARE worse things than being  single – like being married to a dementia-addled dirtbag who literally cuts you apart dead, for your relatives to discover.

(Link): New Mexico man arrested after allegedly dismembering and disemboweling wife ahead of Thanksgiving dinner

A family’s Thanksgiving festivities took a turn after a New Mexico man was arrested Thursday after allegedly stabbing his wife to death and dismembering her body.

Relatives had found Karlan Denio, 62, lying in bed with his wife Connie’s body on the floor ahead of the family’s Thanksgiving meal. They then called police and Denio was taken into custody Thursday afternoon and charged with first-degree murder, according to a criminal complaint obtained by the Albuquerque Journal.

(Link): Man with dementia accused of murdering, dismembering wife on Thanksgiving 

By Isabel Keane
Nov 27, 2022

A New Mexico man with dementia allegedly killed, dismembered and disemboweled his wife hours before out-of-town family arrived at their home to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Relatives of Karlan and Connie Denio had to take the hinges off a door to enter the couple’s Albuquerque home Thursday afternoon when no one answered, and then made the horrifying discovery.

Karlan Denio, 62, was found lying in bed, while cops said his wife, Connie, was discovered “dismembered and disemboweled” on the bedroom floor, according to the Albuquerque Journal.

…Police who arrived at the grisly scene found Connie “dismembered and disemboweled,” authorities said. They detained Karlan and found he had cuts on his leg and neck, officials said.

Continue reading “Thanksgiving Horror: Family Members Arrive at Relatives’ Home for Holiday Gathering, Discover Husband Had Dismembered and Disemboweled His Wife, Police Say”