Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling?

Excerpt:

    by Marcia Wolf

Does every woman in the church need to be married with children in order to lead a happy, fulfilling life?

Certainly not.

But many single women may feel pressure to comply with what the church often upholds as an ideal state of womanhood.

Kate Wallace is a single woman with a budding career as cofounder of the Junia Project, an organization that advocates for women in leadership at all levels of the church.

A devout Christian, Wallace believes the church tends to overlook single women in favor of married women with kids.

Continue reading “Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother”

New Study (2014) Says Women More Stressed By Home Than Work

New Study (2014) Says Women More Stressed By Home Than Work

But so many Christians portray stay at home wife and motherhood as being bliss for women. Come to find out, women don’t always enjoy being SAHMs.

(Link): Why You’re More Stressed by Home Than Work

Excerpt:

    by Belinda Luscombe
    May 22, 2014

    A new study out from the Council on Contemporary Families suggests that contrary to most surveys, people are actually more stressed at home than at work.

    Three Penn State researchers measured people’s cortisol, which is a stress marker, while they were at work and while they were at home and found it higher at what is supposed to be a place of refuge.

    “Further contradicting conventional wisdom, we found that women as well as men have lower levels of stress at work than at home” writes one of the authors, Sarah Damaske, assistant professor of labor and employment relations, sociology and women’s studies at Penn State (the italics are hers).

    In fact women even say they feel better at work, she notes. “It is men, not women, who report being happier at home than at work.”

    Another surprise is that the findings hold true, says Damaske, for both those with children and without, but more so for nonparents. This is why, the authors conclude, people who work outside the home have better health.

    What the study doesn’t measure is whether people are still doing work when they’re at home, whether it’s household work or work brought home from the office. For many men, the end of the workday is a time to kick back. For women who stay home, they never get to leave the office.

    And for women who work outside the home, they often are playing catch up with household tasks.

    With the blurring of roles, and the fact that the home front lags well behind the workplace in making adjustments for working women, it’s not surprising that women are more stressed at home.

    But it’s not just a gender thing. At work, people pretty much know what they’re supposed to be doing: working, earning money, doing the tasks they have to do in order to draw an income.

    The bargain is very pure: employee puts in hours of physical or mental labor and employee draws out life-sustaining moola.

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Related posts:

(Link): The Changing American Family (article)

(Link): The Jetson Fallacy – Much longer lifespans could explode the nuclear family (article)

(Link): Widows and Childless and Childfree Have Better Well Being Than Married Couples and Parents says new study

(Link): 5 Scientifically Proven Reasons It’s Better To Be Single

(Link): More single dads than ever head US households

(Link): Remarriage rates plunge as divorced Americans have doubts – and about Christian culture and divorce and remarriage vs singleness

(Link): (Articles) Marriage Rate At All Time Low

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link) Family Is Not a Norman Rockwell Painting, Christians: Man kept dead mom in freezer for 3 years, cashed her Social Security checks: cops

Condescending Remarks About Single and Childless Women on Christian Gender Complementarian Site: ‘Motherhood or Singleness: Which Is More Sanctifying?’

Condescending Remarks About Single and Childless Women on Christian Gender Complementarian Site: ‘Motherhood or Singleness: Which Is More Sanctifying?’

h/t Stuff Christian Culture Likes group (I would encourage you to visit (Link): that group’s comment thread about the link farther below).

The link comes from True Woman, which I think is a Southern Baptist, gender complementarian hosted site

There are married women who are infertile, or who keep having miscarriages. Apparently the author of the page, Colleen Chao, is unaware of that.

Here is the link:

(Link): Motherhood or Singleness: Which Is More Sanctifying?

Anyway. Excerpt:

    by Colleen Chao

    [Because the author is now married with a kid] But I no longer have to sacrifice in the way my single friends do either: I won’t go to bed alone tonight, cry over unfulfilled passions, work a demanding full-time job to support myself, solitarily juggle all the details and demands of daily life, or feel like an anomaly at a table of all couples.

I’m over 40, would like to be married, never have been. Never cared too much if I had a kid or not (kids are annoying).

Yes, there are times I’m sad or angry about being single, but I also have many days where I’m okay with it.

I do not appreciate this lady making my life sounds like it’s a total pathetic suck fest because I’m single and childless. Her post is just so very insulting to single, adult, childless women.

It is remarkable to me how Christians will sometimes write these books or blog pages trying to re-assure single adults they are fine the way they are, and that God loves them even un-married and childless- but the tone of their whole piece, or certain comments, are so incredibly condescending, their piece has the exact opposite effect.

And I don’t need someone patting me on the head telling me God loves me just as I am, that I’m okay as a single and childless woman… I already know.

I don’t need your validation. How dare you assume that I do.

People who do this are so arrogant and insensitive, but they think they are being supportive and loving.

By the way, sanctification is an inward work of the Holy Spirit, not the work of singleness, parenting, or marriage.

Anyway, it’s amazing how deeply insensitive these Christian writers can be. The woman who wrote that page probably thinks she is cheering on unmarried, childless women, when in reality, she is insulting their lives.

Her editorial is hinting at, or implying, the somewhat common Christian false idea that singles and the childless are only “one half” a person, are not and cannot be fulfilled as a married parent, and not as worthy to God or culture.
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Related posts:

(Link): The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People

(Link): I’m Childless, Not Child-Incompetent (editorial by G. Dalfonzo) – The Christian Tendency to Worship Family, Motherhood, and Children

(Link): Is The Church Failing Childless Women? by Diane Paddison

(Link): Oh geeze. Another married Christian condescendingly patting single Christians on the head, reassuring them they are dandy as-is, and to remember they have the fictional Gift of Singleness

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Astonishing: Evangelical Baptist Marriage Idolater David E. Prince Wants to Know Why Evangelical Baptists Are Not Worshipping Marriage More

Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

There are several reasons I am closer and closer to saying bye-bye to Christianity, but the continued insistence upon Southern Baptists, Neo Calvinists, and other Christian groups, on pushing sexism and codependency for women – under the headings of “gender complementarianism” or “biblical womanhood” – is just one more reason.

I am now blogging about a new site by Southern Baptists about “Biblical womanhood.” (Link to that site, with screen captures from it, is farther below.)

First, a preface: IT’S NOT JUST A WOMAN’S ISSUE

If you are a male, an unmarried male, you need to be concerned about this pushing of gender complementarianism to women. It impacts you as well, oh yes it does.

If you are a male, do not make the deadly mistake of thinking, “Aw, this is just about ladies, it is of no import for me, I am a dude!”

No, no, you couldn’t be more wrong because 1. (Link): this page and 2. they equally oppress, pressure, shame, and hound males who do not live up to their narrowly defined list of rules of what constitutes “biblical manhood.”

Just as gender complementarians limit and enslave women to following a very narrow set of 1950s- American- culturally influenced, un-biblical rules of what constitutes a godly woman (which often includes being married, submitting to a husband, and cranking out children), they do the same to men.

For example, and depending on what type of breed of gender complementarian we are discussing, they usually define “biblical manhood” to mean ‘MAN WHO IS MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND FATHER TO BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN.’

Some Christian biblical manhood advocates further tack on additional qualifiers of what constitutes “biblical manhood,” such as, “spiritual leader of wife,” “steadily employed with a big paycheck, so the wife can stay home all day,” and “manly man who drinks beer, belches loudly and often, and who watches cage fighting with great enthusiasm.”

Yeah.

So, if you are a single male, or you have never been a daddy, and if you do not care for American stereotypical manly man pursuits (e.g., football, NASCAR, copious amounts of beer drinking) and you even prefer artistic pursuits, such as painting and opera, and…

If you find yourself unable to support more than yourself on your pay check alone, you will be treated like a second-class citizen in most Baptist and Neo Calvinist churches.

You will be deemed a failure for not being biblically mannish enough by a host of gender complementarians.

I do find it telling that the Southern Baptists and other gender complementarians seem to expend more effort and time at talking about women’s roles, though.

They seem to crank out more books, sites, and so on, to convince women that being submitted doormats is really honest- to- gosh biblical and not the least demeaning, than they do in cranking out as much material convincing men to be Biblical Tough Guys.

Occasionally, they do, however – about a year ago, preacher Mark Driscoll and other preachers hosted an “Act Like Men” conference (link to that) which emphasized the idea that Christian men should be manly leader men, but it is my impression that conservative Christians are far more obsessed at keeping women in line more so than the males.

Even so, if you are a single, childless, un- or under- employed, or non- football obsessed male, you have a stake in this topic as well.

THE BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD SITE

The Southern Baptist “biblical womanhood” site, as of this writing (Apr. 2014) is a white and pink combination.

Yes, the web pages have a white background, but there is liberal usage of pink-colored fonts and headings all over the place.

Even their “biblical womanhood” logo contains pink. Screen capture of their site’s mast head:

Biblical Womanhood mast head screen shot
Biblical Womanhood mast head screen shot

Enough with pink already. I am a woman, but I have never liked pink.

Historically, by the way, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. Read (Link): this and (Link): this for more on that.

I am a woman. I have never liked pink. Even as a child, I did not find pink attractive, and it annoyed the piss out of me that companies and manufacturers went default pink on any product made for girls (and they would toss in rainbows and unicorns on the packaging, too. I’ve nothing against rainbows or unicorns, but I was never a horse or unicorn crazy girly girl, and I resented the notion, even at age ten, that I am SUPPOSED to like both just because I’m a girl.)

Anyway, leave it to a Southern Baptist site that is pushing “gender complementarian” roles to use pink as one of the site’s main colors. They couldn’t break the stereotypes and go with muted teals, greys, or dark red with gold, or other unexpected colors for a woman’s site, oh no, gotta stick with pink because PINK = GIRLY FEMININE! *Sigh.*

Where in the Bible does it say God defines the color pink as a biblical color for expressing womanhood? If that verse is in there, it must have escaped my attention, and yes, I have read the Bible all the way through.

Leave it to a Christian biblical womanhood, or gender complementarian, site that is intending to dispel the notion that gender complementarianism is sexist by… are you ready for this? by… upholding sexist stereotypes! – they do, right there on their site, examples to follow in this post.

Continue reading “Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity”