Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Below: another article (this time from The Christian Post) seemingly advocating for the good ol’ days when, supposedly, most women got married by the age of 21 and popped out 10 kids apiece and lamenting at how folks just aren’t quite into marriage now as much as they used to be.

Such articles inadvertently suggest that being single and/or childless are somehow “wrong,” immoral, dangerous for society, or “second best.” They are sometimes (Link): intentionally or inadvertently singles-shaming.

Seems that about once a year, every year, some secular conservative or Christian group or person releases some kind of editorial bemoaning delayed marriage.

You can count on these things appearing regularly. Just like death and taxes, or the sun rising in the east tomorrow.

Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire

Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire

A few weeks ago, Sheila Wray Gregorie, who maintains a Christian martial advice blog, shared (Link): this on twitter.

A woman who runs yet another blog (called (Link): “True Love Dates”) featured a post by a single adult woman who I guess posted under a pen name, or as anonymous.

This single woman explained in her comment that, no, it’s not God’s will for all single women to be single, and for so many Christians to keep mouthing this assumption or repeating it in their sermons, books, or blogs is hurtful and discouraging to some single women who’d like to be married but who have not met the right person.

I too have done several posts over the years attempting to correct some of the wrong, hurtful, or insensitive teachings and attitudes that a lot of Christians have about singleness –
– such as, (Link): God told you to marry your spouse;
or, it’s (Link): God’s will for most to marry;
or that (Link): single adults exist only to serve married couples;
or that (Link): unwanted and protracted singleness is a “gift” God bestows upon some. (There are so many Christian fallacies about singleness.)

Here is the featured content for this post, and I agree that Christians need to stop saying that singleness (especially unwanted protracted singleness) is “God’s will.”

(Link): Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will?

Excerpts:

[by Sheila Wray Gregoire]

If you’ve never been married, does that mean that it was always God’s will that you would be single?

I think we talk about that a lot–that people are “called to singleness”, as if God decides before you were born, “Oh, I’m going to make sure that Jennifer doesn’t get married,” or “I’d prefer Stacey never meet the man of her dreams.”

Now, I do believe that God puts on some people’s hearts to be single, and to dedicate their life to a singular purpose to serve Him, in which singleness is necessary.

But I don’t think that’s the majority of people who are single.

Eight Pieces of Christian Dating Advice that are Keeping Me Single. by Nina Borum – from Stuff Christians Like.net

Eight Pieces of Christian Dating Advice that are Keeping Me Single. – from Stuff Christians Like.net

(Link):  Eight 8 pieces of Christian dating advice that is keeping me single. by Nina Borum

Excerpts:

….but I have taken all the advice below and find that I am still single.

4. God’s timing is perfect.

Is it? According to abcnews.com women lose 90% of their eggs by age 30.
Chop Chop Jesus. Chop Chop.

Five Unhelpful Things Singles Are Tired Of Hearing by R. Duncan / Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends by K. Wilkinson

Five Unhelpful Things Singles Are Tired Of Hearing by R. Duncan / Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends by K. Wilkinson

There is also a link below to “Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends”

(Link): Five Unhelpful Things Singles Are Tired Of Hearing

Excerpts:

by Ryan Duncan

Life as a single adult (Link): can be difficult. Life as a single Christian, on the other hand, can be just plain exasperating. While never short on community, single Christians often find themselves bombarded with well-meaning, but unhelpful advice from their married peers.

In response, (Link): Krysti Wilkinson of Relevant Magazine decided it was time to compile a list of things you should never say to your single friends. Coupled with a few of my own favorite gems, here are five things your single friends are tired of hearing.

“Wow, You Must Have So Much Free Time!”

“This is usually an attempt to point out the silver lining. But this sometimes implies that your single friend’s schedule, and life, must be empty (and void of anything meaningful) when there isn’t a significant other in it.

True, those of us who are single have just one person’s schedule to keep track of instead of two, but there are so many other important parts of our days that have nothing to do with our love lives.”

John Morgan’s Incorrect Assumptions (and Heresies) That There Are Only Two Groups: Called to Celibacy, or Called to Marriage

John Morgan’s Incorrect Assumption That There Are Only Two Groups: Called to Celibacy, or Called to Marriage

(This post has been edited a few times since being published to add a few more points)

As I was just remarking (Link): in my last post

• There is no such thing as “being called to” marriage or to celibacy.
• God does not choose who will marry, who will stay single: God allows you to choose which of those routes to go. Using terminology such as “called to” suggests there is no human free will involved, that your marital status was pre-determined in eternity past. I’m not a Calvinist. So no.
• Secondly, Morgan knows damn well there is a 3rd group: women like me who are, to use his bogus term, “called to marry”, yet God has not sent me a husband.
• I did not deliberately set out to be single into my 40s. I do not want to remain single.
• Not everyone who is single and/or celibate WANTS TO BE.
• I do not want to be single. I do not want to be celibate. I simply find myself in a position of such.

Yet, in his latest blog post, (Link) The Language Of A Eunuch John Morgan ((Link): my one time stalker) has this to say:

• The idea of God calling someone to live without sex and focus exclusively on his concerns is a foreign concept. It only follows then that churches define singles strictly on the absence of a marriage license.

While I sort of agree with the second half of his statement – churches don’t respect singleness in and of itself, but only view singleness as a temporary stop on the way to marriage, without recognizing that not everyone marries – I do disagree with the first half. The Bible simply does not teach that God calls anyone to marriage or to singleness.

Morgan says:

• Apostle Paul makes it clear that there are only two lifestyle choices for the Christian, both of which have equal value: Celibacy as a eunuch or marriage as a spouse.

Yes, singleness and marriages are CHOICES, left up to adults; singleness/ celibacy is NOT a calling or a gift.

Marriage is not a calling or a spiritual gift.

Morgan keeps presenting this false dichotomy:

1. that there are only those who do want marriage and who eventually marry

and

2. those who don’t want to marry, who prefer celibacy, and who live as celibate singles

There are more groups out there, including women who want sex, who in fact have sex, but who do not want marriage, so they “shack up” with a man.

Then there are Christian women who are involuntary single and celibate. They WANT to have sex, they WANT to be married, but find themselves single, and, if obedient to the Bible, they stay celibate while single.

Morgan makes absolutely no other distinctions in his universe: all single celibates in his thinking are single celibate because God forced that lifestyle on them and they DESIRED it  (they were “called” to it, or “gifted” with it).

He completely overlooks the boat loads of single Christian women who RESENT being single and celibate, who very much want marriage and sex.