Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

A woman named San wrote to Christian program “The 700 Club” to say she’s in a marriage where her husband is ignoring her in favor of TV shows and his job and so forth. Pat Robertson’s son Gordon answered her letter.

Here is her letter to The 700 Club:

I have been very lonely in my marriage.

My husband’s priorities fall in this order: work, television, and then his phone. I have brought it to his attention so many times. I find myself only relying on God and Him being my true friend but I am still lonely.

Yes, I have God to turn to and I talk to God all day, every day, but it would be nice to have a husband in my life who I can truly share my life with. What should I do?

[signed] San

I didn’t completely agree with the host’s answer.

Continue reading “Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.”

Divorcing Couple Divides Their Beanie Baby (stuffed animal) Collection

Divorcing Couple Divides Their Beanie Baby (stuffed animal) Collection

I am a conservative myself. Many conservative Christians and secular conservatives like to teach the falsehood that marriage is necessary to make people more mature, responsible, and godly.

Well, obviously, that is a total crock, as stories like this attest (and see (Link): this collection of stories). I totally disagree with my fellow conservatives who teach that one must be married to be “mature” (or better, more loving, what have you), since I repeatedly see news stories publicizing the contrary: married people can be selfish or immature jerks.

(Link): Photo of divorced couple splitting up their Beanie Babies is peak ’90s by B. Wong

(photo on page shows divorcing couple on the floor in the courtroom, dividing a huge pile of beanie baby toys)

The caption reads:

Nov 5, 1999, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA: Attorney Frank Totti looks over papers while his client Frances Mountain sorts out Beanie Babies with her ex-husband Harold Mountain in Judge Gerald Hardcastle’s Family Courtroom in Las Vegas November 5.

The couple, who were divorced four months ago, were ordered to divide up the collection valued at $2,500 to $5000 but were unable to do so by themselves.

The collection was ordered spread on the court floor and divided up one by one under the supervision of Family Court Judge Hardcastle.

Maple the Bear was the first to go.

Cost of Maple Bear today on Amazon .com: $6.34.

The surreal photo surfaced on Facebook this week after first appearing in (Link): a Slate piece on the Beanie Babies craze — and thank goodness it did. May we never forget how obsessed we all were with small stuffed animals 18 years ago.

The Selfish, Lazy Husband Who Kept Blowing Off His Stressed Wife to Go on World War 2 Reenactments – Male Entitlement in Relationships: Why Women Divorce Men – and Churches and Culture Support This Male Entitlement

The Selfish, Lazy Husband Who Kept Blowing Off His Stressed Wife to Go on World War 2 Reenactments – Male Entitlement in Relationships: Why Women Divorce Men – and Churches and Culture Support This Male Entitlement

This may be the start of a series. I may do more posts like this as I come across more examples. I kind of already did a part one a couple of years ago (Part 1). This post was not the Part 2 I had in mind, not really.

The things this post covers pertains to one of my big pet peeves as related to men, dating, marriage, culture, church, and relationships.

First, here is the story, (and then below, I’ll analyze or comment why this bothers the hell out of me).

Over a year ago, I watched an episode of the TV show “Restaurant Impossible,” hosted by Chef Robert Irvine on Food Network.

This married couple owned a restaurant that was failing financially, so they had Chef Irvine come in to rescue their business.

I don’t remember all the details of the show, the couple, or their restaurant. I don’t remember their names or where they were located. I cannot recall if both the husband and wife wanted the business, or just the wife did, or what.

Regardless.

The wife was having a nervous breakdown from all the stress of being a restaurant owner. She was running all aspects of the restaurant by herself (with a small staff who helped cook), but the vast majority of the responsibility for the restaurant was on her shoulders.

Although the wife kept begging her spouse to help her, because she was at a breaking point, he would not help her. He would sort of promise or act like he agreed to coming in more often to help, but he would bail on her.

If I am not mistaken, the husband did not hold down a regular job at this time. I think he had quit his regular “9 to 5” job to be in the food business with the wife.

However, the idiot (the husband) spent all his free time chasing down his passions and hobbies, which included stuff like parachuting out of planes on weekends with other men as part of a World War 2 para-trooper re-enactment group, and I think the guy was also part of a barber shop singing quartet the rest of the time, or something.

Continue reading “The Selfish, Lazy Husband Who Kept Blowing Off His Stressed Wife to Go on World War 2 Reenactments – Male Entitlement in Relationships: Why Women Divorce Men – and Churches and Culture Support This Male Entitlement”

Ex-Actor Sentenced to Death After Being Found Guilty of Killing Two People to Raise Money for his Wedding

Ex-Actor Sentenced to Death After Being Found Guilty of Killing Two People to Raise Money for his Wedding

Pretty extreme – killing people to finance your own wedding.

(Link): Ex-Actor Sentenced to Death After Being Found Gilty of Killing Two People to Raise Money for his Wedding

Excerpts

BY BLAKE BAKKILA

(Link): Daniel Wozniak has been sentenced to death for the murders of his neighbor and his neighbor’s friend, according to a press release from the Orange County district attorney’s office.

The California theater actor, 31, killed his neighbor, 26-year-old Army veteran Sam Herr, and Herr’s friend Juri “Julie” Kibuishi in 2010 as part of a ploy to clean out Herr’s $62,000 savings so he could pay for his (Link): upcoming wedding to his actress fiancée Rachel Buffett.
On Friday, Orange County Superior Court Judge John Conley ruled against Wozniak’s public defender Scott Sanders’ motion for a new trial and against another motion to dismiss the death penalty, according to the (Link): Los Angeles Times

Continue reading “Ex-Actor Sentenced to Death After Being Found Guilty of Killing Two People to Raise Money for his Wedding”

Eight Ways to Rethink the Conversation About Singleness by K. Kreminski

Eight Ways to Rethink the Conversation About Singleness by K. Kreminski

  • PREFACE: my blog stalker, John Morgan, is probably going to take this link I spotted today and share it on his own blog, reference it on his own blog, or visit this other blog to leave a comment there.
  • The guy apparently takes content from my blog without giving me credit, which is not only dishonest or unfair, but it’s hypocritical, because in the past he deemed me untrustworthy for not stating my real name on my blog or posts.
  • If you think I am untrustworthy for using a pen name, or for whatever reason, stop taking any links, content, and ideas from my blog to use on your own blog, or to run over to other sites I link to in order to leave comments there. You are being a huge hypocrite.
  • Please see (Link): this post for more on John Morgan or (Link): this post. Thank you.

This blog post by Kreminski about singleness (link and excerpt much farther below) hits on several points I’ve been raising on my own blog for the last 3 or 4 years:

Christians are already too marriage focused, and in their defensive posture of saving culture and marriage from what they perceive as threats (such as homosexual marriage and liberalism), they hype marriage to the exclusion of singleness.

Some conservatives and Christians go so far as to denigrate singleness in order to extol marriage, something the Bible never does. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to stay single than marry, and that marriage does nothing but bring people problems in life.

I have also noted on my blog many times before that the demographics in our nation (and others) have shifted with more people staying single over their lifetimes, or, if they marry, they are marrying at much older ages than they used to. Most conservative expressions of Christianity, however, continue to cater to married couples.

Out of the Christians who do notice this demographic shift, they shame singles for being singles and promote something called “early marriage.” These Christians shame and scold Christians to get married, rather than just accept them in their single status.

In previous blog posts, I have also discussed what I termed “Married People Privilege.” Married people, especially ones with children, like to think that their lives are ten times more difficult than that of childless singles.

Continue reading “Eight Ways to Rethink the Conversation About Singleness by K. Kreminski”

Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed by S. Coontz

Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed by S. Coontz

I have blogged about this book before, back in 2013. You can read the former post (Link): here.

Here is another review of the same book:

(Link): Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed

Excerpts:

  • March 2016
  • By Stephanie Coontz
  • There is a tendency for many Americans to view present-day family and gender relations through the foggy lens of nostalgia for a mostly mythical past.
  • …One example of how discussions of family life are still distorted by myths about the past is the question of how marriage has evolved historically.
  • Both sides in the Supreme Court decision extending marriage rights to same-sex couples demonstrated confusion on this issue. In his dissent from the majority opinion, Chief Justice John Roberts wrote, “For all . . . millennia, across all . . . civilizations, ‘marriage’ referred to only one relationship: the union of a man and a woman.”
  • Its primordial purpose, Roberts asserted, was to make sure that all children would be raised “in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.”
  • These assertions are simply not true. The most culturally preferred form of marriage in the historical record—indeed, the type of marriage referred to most often in the first five books of the Old Testament—was actually of one man to several women.
  • Some societies also practiced polyandry, where one woman married several men, and some even sanctioned ghost marriages, where parents married off a son or daughter to the deceased child of another family with whom they wished to establish closer connections.
  • The most common purpose of marriage in history was not to ensure children had access to both their mother and father but to acquire advantageous in-laws and expand the family labor force.
  • …In Anglo-American common law, a child born out of wedlock was a filius nullius, a child of nobody, entitled to nothing. Until the early 1970s, several American states denied such children the right to inherit from their biological father even if he had publicly acknowledged them or they were living with him.

Continue reading “Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed by S. Coontz”

Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First

Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First

Yep. Christians idolize the family. I’ve been blogging about that for a few years now.

(Link): Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First

Excerpts:

  • March 23, 2016|3:20 pm
    BY KEVIN PORTER , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
  • Many Christians have lost their edge — their radical, burning fire for Christ, says preacher and author Francis Chan, a firm believer that while family is important, the mission of the Kingdom of God should come first.In a video message recently shared by (Link): ChurchLeaders.com, Chan says that after many Christians get married they place Christ’s mission on the back burner, spending their days in the bubble of relationships, children and the comfort of security.
  • The preacher challenges married Christians to stoke the flames of their passion for Christ and his work, and to step out of their comfort zones to take more risks to further His Kingdom. Continue reading “Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First”

A social psychologist reveals why so many marriages are falling apart and how to fix it (and a history of American marriage)

A social psychologist reveals why so many marriages are falling apart and how to fix it (and a history of American marriage)

Link to the article is farther below.

The article I am linking to below details how modern Americans put way too many expectations on marriage to meet their emotional needs, and when marriage inevitably fails at this, they often divorce.

Evangelicals, Baptists, and other types of Christians also put way too much emphasis on marriage to meet their needs. Not that I am against people getting their needs met, but it seems to me too many people expect marriage to be their end-all, be-all fount of happiness in life, which is setting them up for disappointment.

The emphasis on marriage by Christians is damaging not only for married people, but also to adult singles and the church at large.

Christians who are married with kids tend to focus all their time and energy on their nuclear family, and they sometimes use their family as an excuse to blow off tasks at church.  I have blogged about that before, like in this post: (Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article).

You cannot get all your emotional needs met in a marriage, but a lot of people act like marriage should be able to perform this function.

Married women will blow off and ignore their single lady friends once they are married (or even in the dating stage of a relationship – I have blogged about that before (Link): here). Not only is this terribly unfair to adult singles, but it can leave the married person very alone if or when their spouse comes down with dementia or dies from a heart attack, old age, or an auto accident.

I’ve seen letters from widowed men who write to advice columnists who say they are incredibly lonely since their wife died – they have no social network to lean on, and their married friends no longer invite them over to dinners.

Continue reading “A social psychologist reveals why so many marriages are falling apart and how to fix it (and a history of American marriage)”

Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family (reminder: I myself am right wing)

Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family

For anyone who is new to this blog:

I am conservative, I vote Republican, and don’t agree with Democrats and left wingers on many topics.

I am NOT against traditional marriage or pro-creation.

However, where I part company with many other conservative Christians and right wingers is their tendency to demonize anyone who does not happen (for whatever reason) to marry young, to not marry at all, or who do not have children.

Right wingers and most Christians tend to make an idol out of marriage and the nuclear family, and I am opposed to that tendency.

There is nothing wrong with marriage or the nuclear family.

If you want to marry and have kids (I myself would like to marry), that is swell. Go for it.

My problem is how other conservatives assume the worst of people who are, for whatever reason, whether by choice or by circumstance, single or childless.

A few months ago, I found a bizarre article or two by a conservative Christians who blames HETERO SINGLE CHRISTIANS for the rise in homosexuality.

Seriously. I have no idea how anyone can connect Christian hetero singles to more homosexuality, but they tried.

Here is a link to that former page:

Here is the new page, where DePaulo refutes the idea that hetero singles are causing the breakdown in family and culture.

I agree with much of this editorial by DePaulo, and maybe disagree with only one or two points.

(Link): Who’s Afraid of Single People? by B. DePaulo, October 2014

  • Who should be blamed for the supposed breakdown of family and community ties?
  • There are people who are very afraid of single people. I’m not just talking about the (Link): stereotype of single men as scary criminals (which, by the way, is a  myth (edit: I removed this link, it is to her book Singled Out on Amazon, you may visit Amazon to view it therel) and not a truth).
  • No, there are people who believe that the growing number of single people in America is a threat to our nation. Getting pinned on us single people are “the sharp decline of social trust and the breakdown of community ties.”

Continue reading “Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family (reminder: I myself am right wing)”