Mom Left Husband of 14 Years for ‘Soul Mate’ – Only to Be Rejected

Mom Left Husband of 14 Years for ‘Soul Mate’ – Only to Be Rejected

One thing I’ve never understood about secular and Christian conservatives who are too unrealistic about marriage (and the nuclear family) is how they can continue to view marriage (or parenthood, the nuclear family) through such rose-colored glasses, when we all know people who married and/or had children, but marriage or parenthood left them miserable.

Maybe the person they married turned out to be emotionally or physically abusive, or marriage turned out to be unfulfilling. Maybe their spouse committed adultery on numerous occasions.

Let the story below show once again that the Christian, pro-Nuclear family narrative that “marriage makes people more godly, loving, ethical and mature” is a bunch of hooey.

Marriage didn’t make the woman below, who dumped her long time husband for a hottie she met earlier, more “mature” or less selfish or more ethical.

Whatever the specifics, marriage and parenthood sometimes turn out to be horrible or disappointing.

(A reminder: I am not opposed to marriage, parenthood, or the nuclear family – I’m only opposed to a culture, Christian or secular, that pressure or shame people into having kids, getting married, and treats people who do not marry or have kids, for whatever reason, like failures, weirdos, or garbage.)

(Link): Mom left husband of 14 years for ‘soul mate’ — only to be rejected

by Andrew Court
May 9, 2022

It takes two souls to tango.

A mom of two has been mocked on social media after revealing she left her longtime husband for a man she believed to be her “soul mate” — only for him to promptly reject her.

Amanda Trenfield has been described by critics as a “self-destructive sociopath” for writing about the emotional saga in her new book, “When A Soulmate Says No.”

An excerpt from the tome, published in the Sydney Morning Herald last week, sparked ridicule from readers who claimed the rejection was karma for the fact she had blown up her own marriage.

“She ruined her life for nothing! One of the biggest losses we’ve ever seen,” one reader quipped with glee.

In the extract, Trenfield describes an electric encounter with her so-called soul mate, which occurred while she was at a dinner party with her husband.

Continue reading “Mom Left Husband of 14 Years for ‘Soul Mate’ – Only to Be Rejected”

More Thoughts About ‘The Toilet Function of Friendship’ – Avoid or Minimize Contact with the Rachels and Fletchers of the World 

More Thoughts About ‘The Toilet Function of Friendship’ – Avoid or Minimize Contact with the Rachels and Fletchers of the World 

I did a blog post about this about three weeks ago:
((Link): When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship).

I had more I wanted to say about this.

This guy’s blog post – Joseph Burgo’s post – about “The Toilet Function of Friendship” that I blogged about previously really hit home with me…

 especially since I am a recovered codependent who, over 35+ years during the time I was codependent (and used to have clinical depression and had low self esteem), kept attracting abusive, mean, nasty, self absorbed, pessimistic, depressed, emotionally needy and psychologically wounded or personality disordered people to me,

…and the comments left by people at the bottom of his post were also very eye opening or informative.

I wanted to discuss a few comments visitors left to his post, above all, a post by someone calling herself “Rachel,” and a comment by “Fletcher.”

I’ll probably save Fletcher’s and Rachel’s comments for last.

I notice a lot of the people who left comments below the post on Burgo’s blog say that they have been on the receiving end of this situation, where they attract negative or hurting friends who cope with life’s stress by “dumping” and venting about their problems to a sympathetic listener.

I too was in that position for many years, and it left me resentful, exhausted, and with nothing to show for it.

I’ve always been a very good, attentive listener.

I’m not the sort of person who attempts to pivot every conversation back on to herself, so… meaning…

If you’re my acquaintance or friend, and you stop by my cubicle during the work day or call me at home to confide in me about some problem you are having, I used to just sit there and let you talk for how ever many hours you wanted to rant and confide.

Even if I was wanting to get off the phone after 20 to 40 minutes, I was reluctant to end the phone call, so I’d sit there while the emotionally needy friend or family member droned on and on and on (or ranted and ranted in anger) about whatever problems they were having.

(I used to never, or very rarely, put time limits on people when they would complain to me, which left me utterly exhausted.

In my codependent years, I felt guilty if I tried to end people’s “complain and gripe” fests prematurely (because I was getting physically tired listening, or they were interrupting my work or whatever the reason), and I was afraid they’d break off friendship with me if I refused to allow them to use me as their “emotional toilet” or “free therapist.”

Only in the last few years, as I reflect upon my past, do I realize HOW UNFAIR this was to me.)

My habit was to just sit and listen thoughtfully, to nod my head in sympathy as you would rattle off your life’s stress to me, whether it was about your lazy, selfish boyfriend, or your ex-husband who wouldn’t pay child support, or your jerk boss making your work life awful – whatever it was.

And when I would finally speak up, after listening to you vent, I would only make empathetic, non-judgmental comments.

Back in my codependent, people pleasing days, I would tell you I was sorry you were under so much stress, and I hoped your situation would improve. I would validate your feelings, validate your situation, so you would feel heard and understood.

I rarely, oh so rarely, would give people who talked to me to complain to me, advice, judgement, criticism, or platitudes.

All of those relationship habits and qualities of mine that I had for many years made me very, very attractive to needy, angry, depressed, narcissistic, pessimistic, or unhappy people.

I now know better.

I think it does take a lot of life experience to get here, to be able to look at my past, to see where my Mom and church were in error to teach me as they did, (with their teachings being largely responsible for turning me into an attractive target for hurting, angry, or emotionally needy people), to see clearly the patterns of behavior.

Most of the people who used me to get their emotional needs met (but who seldom met mine in return) had very deep psychological problems or maladaptive coping skills.

Some had clinical depression (which I also had myself for over 30+ years), some may have been Covert Narcissists, some choose to cope with pain, disappointment, or anger in life by complaining to someone else – and I was often that “someone else.”

Some of these people have deeply entrenched psychological issues, and there is no amount of me listening to them and consoling them that is going to heal them. That concept took me much later in life to figure out, and that point was confirmed in various articles or books I read by psychologists and psychiatrists in the last few years.

These types of people really need to see a psychologist or licensed therapist over a period of weeks or months to work on their inner problems and relational styles that lead them to cope with their frustration or anger in life by constantly “dumping” them verbally on to a trusted friend for months or years.

If you are a people pleaser, an empath, or a codependent (whatever label you use for yourself), you need to accept that you will not get your needs met by ignoring your own and running around meeting other people’s needs, if that is one of your secret motivations for why you help others or act as their “emotional toilet” or “free therapist.”

(Some codependents think it’s not acceptable for them to get their needs met; they got the message from their family or church while they were growing up that it’s supposedly “selfish” for one to get one’s own needs met.

And no, it is not selfish to get one’s own needs met, or to expect people who say they are your friends to sometimes meet your needs in return. It’s part of a normal, healthy childhood or adulthood to get one’s needs met.)

If you’re a people pleaser, a codependent, you will have to be more intentional about when, to whom, under what circumstances, and for how long you will show someone else care, compassion, concern, or give them financial assistance.

Because if you do not learn to get comfortable with putting limits on your time, compassion, finances, and energy, you will be exploited and taken advantage of by many people who never (or rarely) meet your needs in return. All these people over decades will drain you dry and leave you exhausted.

I do think there are some times in life where it’s appropriate to grant people more emotional support than usual and not expect much in return.

But such occasions should be exceptions, such as, if your friend is in the grieving process over the death of a loved one, in such occasions, it may be acceptable to allow them to complain to you for hours over two to four years as they process the loss.

But if you have a friend who more or less contacts you regularly to complain a lot about every issue (and I mean the non-exceptions – just to rant about how they hate their job, their boyfriend is inconsiderate – your more tedious, normal life situations that are not as stressful, as say, a death in the family) – or maybe the same two or three (trivial, mundane) issues repeatedly – you really need to put limits on that person.

Most people who do this venting are only using you to get their emotional needs met, and they will NOT return the same non-judgmental emotional support to you that you granted them for weeks or years.

SAMPLE COMMENTS

From the (Link): Burgo blog post, some comments left by some of his blog visitors:

Tracey

by Tracey
Dec 10, 2020

Wow! What a powerful article and one I, too needed to hear and to equally recognize both sides.

I have ‘friends’ who dump on me that I should un-friend, but I have been loathe to do so for myriad reasons.

Continue reading “More Thoughts About ‘The Toilet Function of Friendship’ – Avoid or Minimize Contact with the Rachels and Fletchers of the World “

When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship

When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship

🧻🪠🚽

There are several sites or blogs carrying the same essay by the same guy (or very similar content – looks to me as though one author copied the work of this Burgo guy but didn’t credit him that I could see).

I very much related to this guy’s essay, because over the course of my life, I have often played the role of being the “toilet” for friends to dump their emotional problems or complaints into.

I think what a lot of what this guy describes is more common among women than men.

Women are socially conditioned to be warm, nurturing, and to console other people when they’re hurting, sad, frustrated, or angry.

The phrase “emotional labor” came to describe this “empathetic listening” type role a lot of women are expected to play for the people around them, whether those people are men, women, or co-workers, strangers on the street, friends, or family members.

And if you’re like me and played that “empathetic listener” to other people for decades, it is mother clucking exhausting.

And as you grow older, you will look back on your life and realize all that kind-hearted listening and consoling you dished out to your hurting or angry friends didn’t do anything for you or to help you in your life.

Continue reading “When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship”

BLM (Black Lives Matter) Apparently Using Donated Funds to Buy BLM Members $ Six Million Dollar Mansion

BLM (Black Lives Matter) Apparently Using Donated Funds to Buy BLM Members $ Six Million Dollar Mansion

Not only do Muslims the world over not care about leftist “Intersectionalism” or about George Floyd, but neither does Black Lives Matter!

It has been reported in media outlets that Black Lives Matter group took money donated and used it to buy a six million dollar mansion for themselves.

LOL, what a bunch of con artists!

(Link): ‘I never touched any money’: Developer in $6 million BLM mansion scandal says he did not buy it, but put it in LLC

April 8, 2022

Controversy continues to swirl over the purchase of a $6 million California mansion by Black Lives Matter with a Republican congressman calling for a Justice Department investigation of the 2020 deal amid questions about the group’s financial dealings.

Rep. Darrell Issa spoke with Fox News Digital following a report about the secretive purchase of the property which was paid for in cash using funds that were donated to the Black Lives Matter Global Network Foundation during the months when the organization enjoyed an elevated national profile in the aftermath of the death of George Floyd that was a windfall for BLM.

Continue reading “BLM (Black Lives Matter) Apparently Using Donated Funds to Buy BLM Members $ Six Million Dollar Mansion”

The Weird, Sexist World of Gary Thomas and His Weird Sex and Marital Advice Books to Christians

The Weird, Sexist World of Gary Thomas and His Weird Sex and Marital Advice Books to Christians

Several months ago, a lot of people on Twitter and Facebook – mainly married or divorced Christian women – were really angry with Christian author Gary Thomas, I think mainly for some new book he released last year about marriage that contained some really gross, sexist, or disturbing marital and sex advice.

To be honest, I was busy with other things in fall of 2021 when this stuff went down. I should’ve blogged about it then but didn’t have the time.

I wasn’t able to totally follow the controversy, so I am not sure how to write up a summary, but from what I could tell, Gary Thomas wrote a bunch of strange, bizarre, sexist stuff about women, wives, sex, and marriage – some of it involving advising married women to tickle their spouse’s testicles with their make-up brushes – ???? 🤨😯🤮

From what I do recall, after people online began posting screen shots of Thomas’ weird marital advice book around October of 2021, a lot of women then began taking Thomas to task for the book’s objectional contents by contacting him at his Twitter or Facebook accounts and letting him know how troubling his book is.

Along with screen shots or quotes from Gary Thomas’ new marriage book, some of the women may have also included screen shots of his previous, troubling work.

Below you will find a smorgasbord of material about Gary Thomas’ weird or sexist marital and sex advice, most of which will probably be from his recent marriage advice book, but some may be from other sources he’s written (I’m unsure about that).

I began putting this post together prior to reading the Sheila Wray Gregoire review of said book (which I have excerpted below), and wowza, this book is cringe. So cringe. It’s awkward.

I’m not even done reading the entire Gregoire review yet. I’ve only read down the first several sentences (where she summarizes from the book), and my eye brows are already raised in shock, when my facial expression is not registering horror.

Cringey Christian Advice (Link): @cringeyxtian on Twitter was once source of Gary Thomas material you may want to visit.

Apparently, Thomas is rather fixated on women’s breasts or breast size, as he discussed this topic in his marital advice books.

I’ve not read his books, does he tell any male readers of his book that huge penis size matters to a lot of women? Because according to studies, it does:

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

Also pertinent:

(Link):  Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

The more cringey, sexist, awful martial and sex advice I see from Christian writers such as Doug Wilson, John MacArthur, Mark Driscoll, Gary Thomas, and guys like them, and the more exposes I see about churches who harass their abused, married women members to stay married to child abusers and stay married to pedophiles, the more I am happy I remained single and celibate into middle-age. It looks like I dodged a bullet. Marriage is not worth this misery.

This is a review about Gary Thomas’ marital advice book:

(Link): The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

By that same author, but hosted on Medium:

(Link): “But Have You Tried Sleeping Naked?”

by Shannon Ashley
Oct 2021

Writers like Gary Thomas keep banking on men’s sexual satisfaction to save evangelical marriages.

…For decades, most mainstream Christian self-help books have taught sex in a way that harms the end goal of healthy marriages. Instead, authors have relied on faulty principles and pseudoscience like pink and blue brains or good Christian men cheat when their frigid, dowdy wives drive them to it.

…To make matters worse, Gary convolutes the messages he’s plagiarized. Although he uses ideas and phrasing from The Great Sex Rescue, he also undercuts them by utilizing the same old faulty Christian teachings in question

Continue reading “The Weird, Sexist World of Gary Thomas and His Weird Sex and Marital Advice Books to Christians”

The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

The following pertains to Christian author Gary Thomas and his weird, sexist marital advice book, Married Sex, that got savaged by Christian women on social media in 2021.

I will provide an excerpt or two below, but really, this author’s entire review of Thomas’ book is quite good, so I would ask that you please click the link below to visit her review – which is hosted on Medium – to read the entire piece.

(Link): The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

Excerpts:

[Thomas earlier book, When to Walk Away, was well-received by many Christian women.]

Unfortunately, his latest book (co-authored by Debra K. Fileta and published by Zondervan Books), Married Sex, comes across more like a sex-obsessed man desperately trying to convince himself and the rest of us that his fixations were “designed by God.”

[The author of the piece then goes on to discuss certain parts of the book by Thomas that concerned her.]

[Excerpt from the Gary Thomas book, by Thomas]:

“Now she asks us to put a coaster under our drink or pick up our socks from the floor, and we act like she’s requesting twelve hours of hard labor. God isn’t unaware of this tendency, so he has given us men a physiological compulsion to keep our wives near and dear in our affections.
If it has been a while since we’ve had sex, those hormones start to boil, and the “drive” slowly begins to captivate our minds. If we grow in love and understanding, we’ll learn that for our wives to be sexually available to us, they need to be relationally and even spiritually connected with us.

When I saw this as God’s creational design, I realized that my sex drive was God’s way of keeping me aware of my wife’s relational needs. The fact that our brains have so much more space devoted to sex drive motivates us men to pursue our wives on all levels—with loyalty, empathy, and love. God’s design is for men to be so sexually vulnerable to their wives that they don’t neglect them in other aspects of the relationship.”
— end Thomas book excerpt —

This is so, so, so… gross. So gross! I (and so many other women) have zero interest in being with a man who requires constant sexual incentive just to be a decent human being.

Continue reading “The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley”

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

(Link): Hillsong pastors say they warned Brian Houston about Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, were ignored

By Jeannie Ortega Law, Christian Post Reporter

Former Hillsong pastors Zhenya and Vera Kasevich allege that Hillsong founder Brian Houston was made aware of Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, yet refused to address his actions due to the church’s culture of “secrecy.”

(Link): More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

Excerpts:

March 28, 2022
By Hannah Frishberg

These shepherds are running to greener pastures.

Yet another set of Hillsong megachurch pastors stepped down this weekend, following the resignation of church founder and former leader Brian Houston last week, as well as the release of Discovery+’s three-part docuseries on the church, produced in association with The Post.

“After much prayer and pastoral counsel, we have decided to withdraw from Hillsong Church,” Terry, 57, and Judith Crist, 60, the now former lead pastors of Hillsong’s Phoenix, Arizona, branch wrote congregants in an internal Friday email that has been viewed by The Post.

Continue reading “More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release”

Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

I have a quibble with #14 on the list. It says you’re not supposed to “keep score” in a relationship.

I think I see what they mean, but…. there are times in your life when you’re in a relationship, whether it’s dating, a work relationship, friendship, marriage, whatever type of relationship, where the other person is in fact self-absorbed, selfish, and/or narcissistic, which means, you will start to notice after so many months or years that you are definitely doing most of the giving most of the time but the other person hardly gives back.

When you’re in an imbalanced relationship, you can’t help but start to notice and feel resentful, and that type of relationship is not sustainable. It’s NOT petty or immature to start noticing and getting angry, resentful, or tired of being exploited by another person. That’s actually a normal reaction.

Point 3 below reminds me of a variation of friendships or other non-romantic relationships: when you, for example, call a family member because you’re upset, sad, stressed or angry about X, but the family member uses YOUR phone call about YOUR problem to say something like, “That sounds bad, but let me tell you about MY bad day / week / month / marriage / job problems.”

And before you know it, you end up listening to THEM talk about THEIR problem for an hour and a half, when you phoned them seeking a sounding board or empathy for YOUR problem.

I’ve had numerous friends and family over my life pull that on me, and it’s totally infuriating.

I was too bashful for years to do anything about it, but a few years ago, when one of my Aunts tried pulling something similar on me – she tried to commandeer the phone call to make it all about HER.

I listened to a moment for her to talk about her, I made a brief comment about “oh, I’m sorry to hear about that,” but then I said, “but anyway, like I was saying to you a moment ago, I’m upset lately, because blah blah blah…” (I pivoted the phone call BACK TO ME).

I didn’t let this Aunt, who is notorious for hijacking of conversations to turn it all back to her and her life, to get away with it yet again.

Here is the list:

(Link): Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

Excerpts:

March 23, 2022
by Ieva Gailiūtė and Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you it’s no easy walk in the park. Just think about the heated arguments, compromises, and misunderstandings — navigating the ups and downs is quite a task right there, especially when it comes to marriage. Well, no one is immune to the occasional blips and bumps in the road, and this viral thread is here to prove it.

Reddit user Zorra_ decided to find out what blunders happen after people tie the knot and say “I do”. They raised a question on the Ask Reddit online forum: “Marriage counselors, what are the most common mistakes couples make?” Hundreds of professionals rolled up their sleeves and typed some of the things they witnessed during their careers.

…..1. [Relationship Should Take Priority Over Marriage]

I’m not a marriage counselor but my wife posted a very meaningful and controversial article the other day and tagged me in it because I agree with its philosophy.

It was titled “Your kids should not be the most important part of your marriage.”

Continue reading “Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make”

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

(Link): Hillsong pastors say they warned Brian Houston about Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, were ignored

By Jeannie Ortega Law, Christian Post Reporter

Former Hillsong pastors Zhenya and Vera Kasevich allege that Hillsong founder Brian Houston was made aware of Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, yet refused to address his actions due to the church’s culture of “secrecy.”

(Link): More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

Excerpts:

March 28, 2022
By Hannah Frishberg

These shepherds are running to greener pastures.

Yet another set of Hillsong megachurch pastors stepped down this weekend, following the resignation of church founder and former leader Brian Houston last week, as well as the release of Discovery+’s three-part docuseries on the church, produced in association with The Post.

“After much prayer and pastoral counsel, we have decided to withdraw from Hillsong Church,” Terry, 57, and Judith Crist, 60, the now former lead pastors of Hillsong’s Phoenix, Arizona, branch wrote congregants in an internal Friday email that has been viewed by The Post.

Continue reading “More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release”

Married Mother and Father Fake the Wife’s Kidnapping, Used Donated Funds Meant to Help Find Kidnapped Wife to Pay off Couple’s Personal Credit Card Debt

Married Mother and Father Fake the Wife’s Kidnapping, Used Donated Funds Meant to Help Find Kidnapped Wife to Pay off Couple’s Personal Credit Card Debt

Never. Ever. Argue. Ever Again.  That “marriage” or “parenthood” somehow improve a person’s character, morality, or that either one somehow fixes what is wrong with culture, if you’re one of those who is super obsessed with Nuclear Families, marriage, and parenting, like most secular or religious conservatives, such as but not limited to, Focus On The Family,  National Marriage Project, Jim Daly, Mark Regnerus, Brad Wilcox, or Al Mohler.

Never again, in light of the fact I regularly see news items of married people (some of whom are parents!) who rape people, or who steal, make child porn, sell illegal drugs, and on and on with the wrong-doing, write, publish, or broadcast your stupid “if only every one would marry by the time they are 25 years old and have three children each, it would usher in a sin-free society and fix all that is wrong with the world!” bullshit.

Being married or being a parent does not necessarily make a person more responsible, loving, or ethical, or better in any way, shape, or form, than being single and childless (or childfree).

The following married couple faked the wife’s kidnapping, and used the “Go Fund Me” account that was opened to provide funds to help the family find her to use that donated money to pay off their personal debt on their credit card. Both are parents. Un-freaking-believable!

I am not anti-Marriage, anti-Nuclear Family, or anti-parenthood, but all the other conservatives have to stop it with cramming the “hyper pro Nuclear Family / Marriage / Natalism” propaganda down people’s throats, which they do every few months, with their stupid, insulting essays containing their fear-mongering, shaming, anti-singleness, “oh no, people are not getting married any more, or choosing not to have babies any more, marriage is so much better for people and culture than staying single” pearl-clutching essays and editorials.

(Link):  Years ago, she told police she had been abducted, beaten and branded. Now she’s charged with making it all up 

(Link):  Volunteer Who Feels Duped by Sherri Papini’s Kidnapping Story Reacts to Her Arrest: ‘Honestly, I Was Shocked’ 

(Link): Sherri Papini, husband allegedly paid off credit cards with $49,000 donated to kidnapping hoax

March 5, 2022
By Kerry J. Byrne

Sherri Papini’s once sympathetic tale grows more loathsome with each passing day.

The California “super mom” didn’t just fake her own abduction: Papini and her husband Keith also allegedly used nearly $50,000 donated toward the effort to find her to pay off their credit cards instead, according to authorities.

Papini was arrested Thursday on charges she staged her own 2016 kidnapping, a shocking three-week disappearance that generated international headlines and an outpouring of public support.

Continue reading “Married Mother and Father Fake the Wife’s Kidnapping, Used Donated Funds Meant to Help Find Kidnapped Wife to Pay off Couple’s Personal Credit Card Debt”

I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

I hesitate to link to too many of these advice columnists any more, as months ago, someone admitted to writing bogus letters asking for advice, that were published to Slate, or some other publication. But maybe what follows is real… I’ve certainly known women in real life whose husbands are very selfish.

Anyway, for years, I had wanted to be married, and I never did get married. I eventually made peace with that.

Every so often I see letters like what follows below, or other women’s divorce horror stories – where they had to leave an abusive husband – and it makes me feel even more at peace with the fact I never married.

There’s no point in being married if the person you marry is selfish or treats you like garbage. It’s better to be single, or to stay single, then end up marrying an abuser or a self absorbed jackass.

(Most Christian gender complementarians would command this woman to stay in this joke of a marriage she describes and continue putting up with this horseshit from her selfish husband, because their interpretation of the Bible. 
I think their interpretation of the Bible is totally incorrect about gender roles and divorce… if you’re a grown woman, you have to make choices based on what you believe is best for you, not on another person’s fallible interpretation of the Bible.

If you’re a Christian woman, don’t look for, or count upon, your church’s or pastor’s “permission” to divorce an abusive or selfish husband, because most will not grant it.)

(Link): I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

January 31, 2022

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am a married mom of two kids. My husband is unbelievably selfish.

I do pretty much all of the parenting, housework, cooking, driving to extracurriculars, shopping, etc.

I also pay for virtually everything (we have separate bank accounts). He works a lot less hours than I do for around the same pay.

He spends his free time napping, going to the gym, getting massages … you get the picture.

I spend my free time looking after the kids. We’ve been to therapy, and he has stated that this is just how he is.

I’m beyond resentful and the only thing he contributes to our household right now is to the mess … that I then have to clean up. We live like roommates to the point that he sleeps in another room.

Continue reading “I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown”

Carl Lentz’s Alleged Mistress Speaks Out in Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed Trailer: ‘Toxic’

Carl Lentz’s Alleged Mistress Speaks Out in Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed Trailer: ‘Toxic’

Update Below

(Link): Carl Lentz’s Alleged Mistress Speaks Out in Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed Trailer: ‘Toxic’

February 16, 2022

The Discovery+ docuseries premieres on March 24

Hillsong Church was a star-studded house of worship, but scandal has overshadowed its charismatic brand of Christianity in recent years. Now a Discovery+ docuseries, Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed, delves deep into the headlines — including former pastor Carl Lentz.

Once a spiritual confidant of Justin Bieber, Lentz was ousted from Hillsong in November 2020, ending a 10-year tenure because of what the church described as “moral failures.”

Soon he publicly admitted to being unfaithful to his wife Laura, whom he married in 2003 and with whom he shares three children.

Amid the fallout, Ranin Karim, a New York woman who said she met Lentz at a Brooklyn park in May 2020, alleged she was his mistress.
“It was the most toxic thing I’ve ever had to deal with,” Karim says in the newly released trailer for Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed, which Discovery+ will stream in three parts.

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