What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

(Link): What do Female Incels Really Want?

Excerpts:

By Kaitlyn Tiffany
May 12, 2022

“We were all ugly,” Amanda, a 22-year-old student from Florida told me, recalling the online community she found when she was 18. “Men didn’t like us, guys didn’t want to be with us, and it was fine to acknowledge it.”

This Reddit forum was called r/Trufemcels, and she commented there under the username “strangeanduglygrl.” Amanda didn’t post very often, but she checked in every day on the community of self-identified “femcels,” or involuntarily celibate women. (I agreed to refer to her by her first name only, to separate her current life from her former internet identity.)

They came to complain about the superficiality of men and the privilege of pretty women, and to share their experiences moving through the world in an unattractive body, which therefore disadvantaged them romantically, socially, and economically.

They were finding the modern dating landscape—the image-based apps, the commodified dating “market,” the illusory “freedom” to be found in hookup culture—to be unnavigable, and they talked about taking a “pink pill,” and opening their eyes to the reality that society was misogynistic and “lookist.”

Continue reading “What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany”

A New Start After Age 60: ‘Alone for the First Time in My Life, I Learned How To Be Happy’ (A Woman’s Husband Divorces Her After 40 Years of Marriage)

A New Start After Age 60: ‘Alone for the First Time in My Life, I Learned How To Be Happy’ (A Woman’s Husband Divorces Her After 40 Years of Marriage) by Paula Cocozza

In the article below, the woman (who is in the UK) also mentions that when she was younger, her father died, which had a big impact on her and her mental health.

(Link): A new start after 60: ‘Alone for the first time in my life, I learned how to be happy’

Excerpts:

by Paula Cocozza

Marian Elliott was devastated when her husband left her after almost 40 years together. New friends have helped her rebuild her confidence – and enjoy her freedom

May 16, 2022

Marian Elliott was 22 when she left the family home to be with her husband-to-be. So when he left her nearly 40 years later – shortly after her 60th birthday – she found herself living entirely alone for the first time.

Elliott had thought she could picture the next stage in her life. She and her ex had worked hard to pay off their mortgage.

“We were about to enjoy our retirement together,” she says with a heavy sigh. Now there was nothing but uncertainty. “I felt such pain, I didn’t know what to do with it,” she says.

Continue reading “A New Start After Age 60: ‘Alone for the First Time in My Life, I Learned How To Be Happy’ (A Woman’s Husband Divorces Her After 40 Years of Marriage)”

Pakistan: Men Dig Up Grave of Teenage Woman and Rape Her Corpse, 17 Accused Are Being Interrogated

Pakistan: Men Dig Up Grave of Teenage Woman and Rape Her Corpse, 17 Accused Are Being Interrogated

Spencer’s work on this opens with many examples of Muslims who have had sex with dead bodies, and quotes from Islamic religious texts which shows it’s considered normal or kind of common place to engage in necrophilia:

(Link): Pakistan: Men dig up grave of teenage woman and rape her corpse, 17 accused are being interrogated – by Robert Spencer

Excerpts:

May 8, 2022
by Robert Spencer

… “There is no need to rewash a dead woman if her husband has sex with her after she dies….And there is no punishment for anyone who has sex with a dead woman or limits sex to sex with a dead woman.” (Abd Al-Hameed Al-Sharawani, Howashi al-Sharwani (Al-Qubra, Egypt: Al-Maktabah Al-Tojariah, 1983, vol. 1, p. 263)

…“There is no restriction against sex with a dead woman or an animal.” (Mohammad Al-Sherbini Al-Khateeb, Al-Iqna3 fi Hal al-Faz: Abu Shoja’a (Beirut: Dar al-Fikr, 1994, vol. 2, p. 521)

…“Moroccan Cleric Abd Al-Bari Al-Zamzami: Husbands May Have Sex with Dead Wife’s Corpse; Women May Use Carrots as Vibrators,” MEMRI, March 24, 2012 …

(Link): Pakistan: Unidentified men dig up the grave of a teenage woman and rape her corpse, 17 accused being interrogated, investigation underway

 Attaullah Tarar, the deputy secretary-general of the Pakistan Muslim League (PMLN), took to Twitter on May 6 to inform that 17 suspects are being interrogated regarding the case.

May 7, 2022

On May 5, Thursday, some unknown men dug out the corpse of a teenage girl and raped it in the Chak Kamala village in Gujrat, Pakistan.

Attaullah Tarar, the deputy secretary-general of the Pakistan Muslim League (PMLN), took to Twitter on May 6 to inform that 17 suspects are being interrogated and the investigation of the case is being done as per scientific methods.

Continue reading “Pakistan: Men Dig Up Grave of Teenage Woman and Rape Her Corpse, 17 Accused Are Being Interrogated”

Studies on Falling Out of Love and Breaking Up and How to Recover From a Break Up – Research by Dr. Helen Fisher

Studies on Falling Out of Love and Breaking Up and How to Recover From a Break Up – Research by Dr. Helen Fisher

(Link): A relationship expert reveals the best ways to get over someone

Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and author of “Anatomy of Love,” says heartbreak has physiological effects on our minds and bodies. There’s a scientific reason it hurts so much.

(Link): Why Breaking Up is So Hard, and How to Cope

Excerpts:

by Kelsey Chun
Feb 2020

There’s science behind a broken heart—but recovery is possible

…  Research has shown why our biology makes breaking up so hard for us, but thankfully it has also provided some helpful tips on what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

… one can better understand the unfortunate aftermath if a romantic relationship should end; it’s something akin to a drug withdrawal. Dr. Fisher and her colleague Lucy Brown also did research on people’s brains after they had just been broken up with, and their findings are in line with Dr. Fisher’s previous research.

While looking at images of their exes during MRIs, three brain regions light up in these heartbroken people: the first is the same brain region that lights up when someone is in love.

Dr. Fisher explains the meaning of this in her TED talk [(Link): The Brain In Love], “When you’ve been dumped, the one thing you want to do is forget about this human being and then go on with your life, but no, you just love them harder.” That brain system is the reward system, and it only becomes more active when you can’t get what you want—a loving partner.

[Self Care Tips After a Break Up]

…While manicures and shopping sprees are certainly nice, real self-care is about taking care of your own emotions, which often looks like being kinder rather than harsher with yourself, letting yourself cry, or saying “no” to activities that might overwhelm you more easily.

On the other hand, self-care might also include doing more, such as getting involved in more activities, hobbies, or projects.

Continue reading “Studies on Falling Out of Love and Breaking Up and How to Recover From a Break Up – Research by Dr. Helen Fisher”

‘Wonder Woman’ Star Lynda Carter Honors ‘Vibrant’ Robert A. Altman After Losing Spouse of 37 Years

‘Wonder Woman’ Star Lynda Carter Honors ‘Vibrant’ Robert A. Altman After Losing Spouse of 37 Years

This goes to show that even if you marry, your spouse can die – of old age, a medical problem, in a car accident, what have you – which will leave you single again.

(Link): ‘Wonder Woman’ Star Lynda Carter Honors ‘Vibrant’ Robert A. Altman After Losing Spouse of 37 Years

The gaming CEO passed away in February 2021 at age 73

April 25, 2022
By Stephanie Nolasco | Fox News

Lynda Carter is determined to keep the legacy of her late husband Robert A. Altman alive.

The “Wonder Woman” star attended the TGen awards, an affiliate of City of Hope, where she was given the John S. McCain Leadership Award for her advocacy of research and clinical advances.

The 70-year-old took to Instagram on Monday and shared her spouse of 37 years passed away from a rare type of cancer that impacts the body’s normal production of blood cells.

Continue reading “‘Wonder Woman’ Star Lynda Carter Honors ‘Vibrant’ Robert A. Altman After Losing Spouse of 37 Years”

Chronic Pain and the Self Pity, Depression Trap

Chronic Pain and the Self Pity, Depression Trap

If you are someone who is currently in the grieving process because someone you love died within the last five years, some of the tips below by Dr. Trunzo (article: “The Best Life Possible”) about acceptance in regards to chronic health conditions may be useful to you as well in regards to your grief, so please scroll down to read that.


Don’t forget to see my two previous posts about Covert Narcissism, as those posts explain that sometimes, people with Covert Narcissism will either exaggerate or lie about physical or mental health illness to garner sympathy and attention from others, and they often have a “victim mentality.”

In particular, in (Link): this post about Covert Narcissism, scroll down to find the section entitled “The Psychosomatic.” (That section is located about half-way down that page.)

You’ll notice that a lot of the tips and advice in the first article below, which was reviewed by a medical doctor, echo and repeat the same set of tips and advice I have given to (Link): people I’ve known before, people who insist these tips do not work (though some of it worked for me or for other people, in regards to clinical depression), or they dismiss this advice as being nothing but mere “platitudes” or “pep talks,”, or, (Link): some of these people dismiss this type of advice on other grounds.

Recap on my situation:
I was diagnosed with clinical depression by a psychiatrist at a young age, had it verified by three additional psychiatrists as I got into my 30s.
I lived with depression for over 35 years, and largely found my way out of it (on my own), and I can tell you that escaping depression involved doing some of the very things mentioned in the articles below.

Other than lower back pain I’ve dealt with since a teen, I’ve not had chronic physical pain.

Chronic Physical Pain & Mental Health

From my research into the topic of chronic pain and mental health, I’m finding articles by people (some doctors, some lay persons) who live with a chronic pain condition who do talk about the possible slide into self pity, how to avoid it, and how to manage any depression that results from, or accompanies, the pain.

So obviously, things can be done to change here – it’s not as though a person is doomed with no recourse if they live with a physical health problem to necessarily stay in a hopeless, despondent emotional or psychological state (this is also true for physically disabled persons who (Link): must use wheelchairs)

(Link):  The best life possible by Joseph Trunzo

Excerpts:

Living with chronic illness is hard. But there are psychological techniques that make it possible to thrive even when ill

‘Don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do.’
John Wooden (1910-2010), NCAA basketball coach

by Joseph Trunzo, professor of psychology at Bryant University in Smithfield, Rhode Island, and a clinical psychologist. He is the author of Living Beyond Lyme: Reclaim Your Life From Lyme Disease and Chronic Illness (2018).

—- — —-

Before Donna got her diagnosis, she thought of herself as a musician, a busy professional, a volunteer, a mother, a grandmother. After she got her diagnosis – Parkinson’s disease, at age 58 – she thought of herself as a patient.

The time she used to spend engaging in the things that gave her life meaning was eaten up by doctor’s appointments, diagnostic tests and constant monitoring of her symptoms, her energy, her reactions to medication. Her sense of loss was profound and undeniable.

Unfortunately, Donna’s experience is all too common. Heart disease, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, depression, cancer, asthma, Crohn’s disease, cystic fibrosis, autoimmune disorders, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, Lyme disease: the list goes on.

I would guess that most people know someone close to them who is suffering from one of these debilitating chronic conditions, if not struggling with a diagnosis themselves.

However, as a clinical psychologist, I see many people trying to navigate the daily vagaries of chronic afflictions. I’ve worked with people who have been diagnosed with various forms of cancer, Parkinson’s, cystic fibrosis, Lyme disease, obesity, all manner of cardiovascular diseases, multiple sclerosis, brain injuries, paralysis and many other illnesses.

Naturally, I also see people on a regular basis who are dealing with chronic mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, trauma, bipolar disorder and so forth.

The causes of these conditions are varied and multifaceted. The underlying factor for all of them, however, is that, in the absence of a cure, people want to live the best life they possibly can, regardless of their affliction or disability.

While each person and each condition presents its own set of challenges, there are some unifying principles in helping people who are suffering from chronic illnesses to live better, more meaningful lives.

In my practice, I approach these issues from a therapeutic perspective known as acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT (said as the word, not the acronym). I encourage anyone dealing with similar issues to learn about this approach, as it has been helpful to my clients and countless others.

…Generally, living as rich and meaningful a life as possible when you are struggling with a chronic illness requires a great deal of psychological flexibility.

With chronic illness, rigidity in your thinking and behaviour is the greatest barrier to living well with your illness.

Continue reading “Chronic Pain and the Self Pity, Depression Trap”

The Love Story Behind This 2,500- Piece Beer Can Collection Up For Auction is Filled With Emotion

The Love Story Behind This 2,500- Piece Beer Can Collection Up For Auction is Filled With Emotion

(Link): The Love Story Behind This 2,500- Piece Beer Can Collection Up For Auction is Filled With Emotion

Dec. 2021
by Cortney Moore

There’s a 2,500-piece beer can collection that’s gone up for auction, and behind it, there’s a love story.

Luverne Kahl’s husband “Catfish” John Kahl collected beer cans in the 30-plus years of their marriage. John died in 2019 at the age of 83 after a two-year battle with Parkinson’s.

The unique auction item, which was first reported by The New Orleans Advocate, began in November and will conclude on Saturday, Dec. 11.

Luverne told Fox News she’s now ready to part ways with the collection after her home suffered damage from Hurricane Ida earlier this year.

The couple had previously rebuilt their home in Pearl River, Louisiana, following the devastation Hurricane Katrina left in 2005, and it took them a year to recover.

Continue reading “The Love Story Behind This 2,500- Piece Beer Can Collection Up For Auction is Filled With Emotion”

Couple Die of Covid, Leaving Behind Newborn and Five Children

Couple Die of Covid, Leaving Behind Newborn and Five Children

Such a sad story. Condolences to the family and friends of the couple.

For those of you who may visit this blog every so often – especially if you’re an unmarried adult who wanted to marry (and maybe have children too), but you find yourself single (and childless) into your 30s, 40s, or older, I think news stories like this one are eye opening.

Just because some people do marry (and have children) doesn’t mean it’s a happy life or a happy ending.

I have more news stories on my blog (see “Related Posts” below) of people who died shortly before or right after getting married! I have news stories of people who died in a car crash on their way to their own wedding and so on.

Here’s a couple who each died shortly within one another, not long after the wife gave birth.

I feel particularly bad for the children – to grow up with neither parent. 

And really, Christians who “hype” marriage (and parenthood) way too much, to the point they shame singles for being single and not having children – such as Al Mohler – need to stop doing so (as they sometimes do) by falsely painting this picture of “most to all of your problems in life will be solved if you just marry and have children.”

(Link): California couple die of Covid and leave behind 5 kids, including newborn daughter

September 13, 2021
by William Wong

Daniel Macias wanted to wait until he and his wife, Davy Macias, recovered from the coronavirus before naming their newborn daughter.

But about a week after giving birth, the mother died of Covid-19 complications. And nearly two weeks after she died, so did her husband.

Davy Macias was 37, and Daniel Macias was 39, Terri Serey, Davy Macias’ sister-in-law, told NBC News on Monday.

The couple, both of Yucaipa, California, left behind five children, ages 7, 5, 3, 2 and 3 weeks.

Continue reading “Couple Die of Covid, Leaving Behind Newborn and Five Children”

Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

This poor lady. Condolences to her.

One reason I am posting this is to highlight that there are no guarantees in life – getting married is not some kind of magic spell that will make you immune to heartache or loneliness.

I’ve seen marriage-pushing conservatives, both secular and Christian, promote marriage by creating podcasts or blog posts trying to “scare” single adult into getting married by saying things like “If you don’t marry, you’ll die alone!”

After Covid became a thing, marriage-idolater Brad Wilcox, of the National Marriage Project and Institute for Family Studies, began publishing anti-singles hit pieces, saying how married people were doing better in the pandemic (no, they are not. See links at the end of this post).

You can get married but still end up alone – for one, if your spouse dies from Covid.

If the virus were a sentient being, it wouldn’t pause when it comes to you and think, “Well, I’m not going to get into this person’s respiratory system, because they’re married!”

You can be married all live long day and still end up dying – or your spouse could die before you do, leaving you single once more.

Time for Christians to stop marketing marriage as some kind of cure-all for everything that could ail a person.

(Link): Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

by Jackie Salo
August 26, 2021

A Florida woman says she returned home from battling COVID-19 in the hospital to a “nightmare” scene with her husband dead after also contracting the virus.

Lisa Steadman, 58, said she was horrified to walk in Wednesday to discover her 55-year-old husband Ron’s body in the bedroom of their home in Winter Haven, Fox13 News reported.

Continue reading “Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus”

I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

Hunh, but growing up, and even now, my fellow conservatives (some secular, some Christian) keep promoting the notion that married people are happier!, healthier! and just doing better! than single adults. But this woman’s editorial says, nah.

Not that I am in total agreement with all of this woman’s choices.

(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again

Excerpts:

When my husband died, I vowed to stay single in my after-life. Not because I was grieving, but because domestic partnership was something I had no interest in doing again.

My marriage was traumatic in a way that I wasn’t fully cognizant of until it ended abruptly and my need to raise my four children in a household free of toxicity became my first priority.

My vow to stay a single mother would not mean limiting myself sexually and emotionally. I decided I would keep lovers — non-committal but satisfying short-term pairings.

What I came to find was that this decision, which steered me away from the kind of relationships I was conditioned to accept as status quo, would lead to the least toxic and most beneficial relationships I have ever been in.

Continue reading “I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf”

Bride-to-Be Sparks Uproar with ‘Vile’ Wedding Date Selection:  ‘A Self-Centered Monster’

Bride-to-Be Sparks Uproar with ‘Vile’ Wedding Date Selection:  ‘A Self-Centered Monster’

And many secular conservatives and Christians like to teach that marriage makes people more godly, loving, self-less, and mature – no, it sure does not. Here’s another example.

(Link): Bride-to-be sparks uproar with ‘vile’ wedding date selection: ‘A self-centered monster’

by Emerald Pellot

Fri, April 23, 2021, 2:22 PM
….A woman doesn’t understand why her friend planned her wedding on the seventh anniversary of her family’s death.

She explained why she doesn’t want to attend the wedding on Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum. She lost her husband, daughter and mother in a car accident. Every year, she visits their graves on the anniversary of their deaths.

But this year, her good friend planned her wedding on the anniversary and forbade her from visiting her family at the cemetery instead.

Continue reading “Bride-to-Be Sparks Uproar with ‘Vile’ Wedding Date Selection:  ‘A Self-Centered Monster’”

Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby

Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby

Contrary to a lot of secular and Christian conservative marriage and nuclear family propaganda, getting married and/or having children are not guarantees that you won’t die alone or won’t face other hardships in life.

Maybe the following news headline could be used as one argument about why it’s better to remain single and childless.

(Link): Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby

Michael Keene, an Army vet, got COVID-19 in early October. He died three weeks later, 48 hours after Nicole Keene, gave birth prematurely.

 By Meghan Holohan
Dec 18, 2020

After struggling with COVID-19 for three weeks this fall, Jeffery Michael Keene, 39, was admitted to the hospital. Doctors tried stabilizing him without intubating him, but they had to place him on a ventilator on Oct. 16. Wife, Nicole Keene, worried. She was a respiratory therapist and knew that being on a ventilator was “not to be taken lightly.”

But then Keene went into labor at 34 weeks and her son, Michael Wesson, was born unresponsive. Doctors sent Wesson to the same hospital as his father. Two days later, Michael died without ever knowing Wesson was born.

Continue reading “Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby”