The Art of Being Single by E. Bernstein
(Link): The Art of Being Single
After Katie Tomaszewski divorced at the age of 28, she felt ashamed to be alone.
So she did what she thought a single person should do: She over-dated, over-worked and over-socialized, inviting friends over for dinner nearly every night because she was afraid of being lonely.
“It was constant socializing and constant distraction,” says Ms. Tomaszewski, now a 36-year-old Pilates instructor in Chicago. “I became desperate and depressed, looking for someone—anyone—to save me from being alone.”
Yes, it can be tough to be single. But a new study published this past December in the Journals of Gerontology offers hope for those who are struggling.
Singles today are more satisfied with their lives than singles in the past, the study found.
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Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims
(Link): Women are happier without marriage and children, says new study
Behavioural scientist Paul Dolan says it’s time we reevaluated what success really means
(Link): Wondering why unmarried women without children are happiest? Listen to mothers and wives
Child-free women know that expecting something outside of yourself to bring happiness is a sure-fire way to end up disappointed
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Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs
I first got wind of this story via SCCL Facebook group ((Link): Conversation about this topic at SCCL FB Group).
A link to a news article about the Mommy Blogger is much farther below. I wanted to say a few things before getting to the article.
The (ex?) mommy blogger in question, Josi Denise, says in one of her blog posts that a lot of mommy blogging is fake and too happy-clappy.
Denise’s critique of Mommy Blogging is reminiscent of my views on blogs or magazine articles by Christians pertaining to adult singleness, which you can read here:
I find that a lot of Christian-written material for adult singles is too sickeningly sweet.
There is an absence in most Christian-penned material for singles that honestly, really gets into and grapples with, how hard, painful, or disappointing it can be to be single into your 30s and older, when you had really expected or had hoped to marry.
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Some Lady Tells Singles Not To Feel Sad on Valentine’s Day
This is sort of like my last post,
(Link): Insensitive Valentine Meme – you can’t feel sad about being single if your parents are still living
(Link): Instead of Getting Sad on Valentine’s Day, Try Not Giving a Fuck
I’m not sure if the woman who wrote this is single or married.
The odd thing about this woman’s page is that while on the one hand she seems to try to be encouraging singles, it comes across as a form of “singles shaming” to me. Maybe that was not her intent, but that’s how it came across to me.
Here are a few excerpts:
by M. Davies
- So you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone and feeling sad about it. What do you do? Curl up on the couch and cry? Stare forlornly into the window of a restaurant packed with couples who are sharing the same long spaghetti noodle like the dogs in Lady and the Tramp? Well, knock it off, sister. You’re a grown-ass woman — W-O-M-Y-N — and it’s time that you figured out that Valentine’s Day only matters when you make it matter. SO STOP MAKING IT MATTER.
- There was a time when I used to get really sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day. That time was high school, when I was too young and dumb to know better.
- …But maybe your friends are different than mine and they do make you feel bad about being alone on Valentine’s Day. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you have some shitty friends. That or it’s projection on your part, in which case this probably goes deeper than Valentine’s Day and chances are you’ll be sad on February 15th, 16th and maybe even when you finally get a significant other because, guess what, they won’t solve all your problems either.
That lady’s “buck up, buckeroo about being single on Valentine’s Day” page read more like “shut up you whiny cry baby whiner.” If she was trying to encourage singles who are unhappy about being single, I’m guessing it had the opposite effect on most people who read that page.
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Christian Doctor Chooses Marriage Over Missionairy Work
I wonder if the contemporary Eunuch-Makers in Christian America today, those who insist that merely wanting to get married is ‘to make marriage into an idol,’ will condemn this guy for choosing to save his marriage, as opposed to “putting his personal happiness and fulfillment aside and thinking of eternity, and putting others first”?
(Link): Choosing Marriage Over the Mission Field
by Anna Broadway
How Tim Kietzman, a successful missionary eye doctor, chose quiet faithfulness despite enormous needs in Pakistan.
As a young man, Tim Kietzman wanted to do “something extraordinary, something very risky” for God. In his mind, that probably meant following in the footsteps of his father, who’d been a missionary eye doctor in Nigeria. As an adult, Kietzman did do great things—his innovative ophthalmologist work in Pakistan earned him one of his field’s most prestigious awards in 2012.
But Kietzman’s boldest act for God may have been coming home from Pakistan to repair his marriage of almost 30 years.
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