Hedonism is Overrated – to Make the Best of Life There Must Be Pain, Says This Yale Professor

Hedonism is Overrated – to Make the Best of Life There Must Be Pain, Says This Yale Professor

(Link): Hedonism is Overrated – to Make the Best of Life There Must Be Pain, Says This Yale Professor

Excerpts:

The most satisfying lives are those which involve challenge, fear and struggle, says psychologist Paul Bloom

Jan 23, 2022
by Paul Bloom

The simplest theory of human nature is hedonism– – we pursue pleasure and comfort. Suffering and pain are, by their very nature, to be avoided. The spirit of this view is nicely captured in The Epic of Gilgamesh:
“Let your belly be full, enjoy yourself always by day and by night! Make merry each day, dance and play day and night… For such is the destiny of men.”

And also by the Canadian rock band Trooper: “We’re here for a good time / Not a long time / So have a good time / The sun can’t shine every day.”

…But I think hedonism is an awful theory. My latest book, The Sweet Spot: Suffering, Pleasure, and the Key to a Good Life, makes the case for a different theory of what people want.

I argue that we don’t only seek pleasure, we also want to live meaningful lives– – and this involves willingly experiencing pain, anxiety, and struggle. We see value in chosen suffering.

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Man Who Lost Movement in His Entire Body Feels He Is Missing Out On Relationships and Sex

Man Who Lost Movement in His Entire Body Feels He Is Missing Out On Relationships and Sex by L. Thomson

I hope this guy realizes he’s not alone. I’m still single into middle age in spite of having wanted to be married, and I do not have any physical health issues that prevented me from marrying.

I am also still celibate. I was waiting until I got married to have sex, but I never married, which is largely due to religious convictions (I refer to being sexually abstinent), but I have other reasons as to why I am celibate.

Sometimes, life does not turn out the way we planned, expected, or hoped.

I think very few people have lives that are more difficult than what this guy is enduring.

(Link): Man Who Lost Movement in His Entire Body Feels He Is Missing Out On Relationships and Sex

Excerpts:

Rhys Bowler lives with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy – a severe, progressive, muscle-wasting disease that leads to difficulties with movement and, eventually, premature death.

As a result, he cannot move his body and uses solely his thumb to drive his wheelchair.

The 34-year-old lives on his own in Wales and has carers that come and help him throughout the day.

He also has a computer that controls everything in his flat and helps him communicate through messages and emails.

During lockdown Rhys started writing a diary about his feelings and worries, including the things he believes he is missing out on, such as relationships and sex – something he says was difficult for him even before the pandemic.

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Being Bitter and Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health by Elizabeth Cohen

Being Bitter and Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health by Elizabeth Cohen

(Link): Being Bitter and Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health

Excerpts:

August 2011
By Elizabeth Cohen, Senior Medical Correspondent

…Feeling persistently resentful toward other people — the boss who fired you, the spouse who cheated on you — can indeed affect your physical health, according to a new book, “Embitterment: Societal, psychological, and clinical perspectives.”

In fact, the negative power of feeling bitter is so strong that the authors call for the creation of a new diagnosis called PTED, or post-traumatic embitterment disorder, to describe people who can’t forgive others’ transgressions against them.

“Bitterness is a nasty solvent that erodes every good thing,” says Dr. Charles Raison, associate professor of psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine and CNNHealth’s Mental Health expert doctor.

What bitterness does to your body

Feeling bitter interferes with the body’s hormonal and immune systems, according to Carsten Wrosch, an associate professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal and an author of a chapter in the new book.

Studies have shown that bitter, angry people have higher blood pressure and heart rate and are more likely to die of heart disease and other illnesses.

Continue reading “Being Bitter and Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health by Elizabeth Cohen”