I Hate Looking After Ill People So I’m Removing ‘In Sickness’ From My Wedding Vows – via AITA and The Sun
This one below is a tough one. My opinion sometimes goes one way and then the other on this subject whenever I see it turn up every so often in advice columns.
I don’t think it’s as clear cut as some of the people screaming at this lady think it is.
I was a caretaker for one of my dying family members for over a year, and it was physically and mentally draining – no, I wouldn’t want to repeat that, either, not with a spouse or someone else, so I can understand where this woman is coming from.
I am also a recovered codependent, and in the 35 or so years I was a codependent, I ran around ignoring my own needs to take care of other people – and I don’t just mean in caring for physically ill people, and driving car-less neighbors to doctor’s appointments and things like that – but I frequently listened to troubled friends, co-workers and family complain for hours over YEARS about the same problems repeatedly.
It is draining to be a constant care-taker for people, whether it’s caring for a physically ill and dying person, or providing a lot of Emotional Labor for negative or depressed friends and family.
So I don’t know if I can totally view the woman in the post below as being a selfish person. She already cared for one of her sick parents for years, and she understandably doesn’t want to re-live that with a spouse, should the spouse develop a chronic health condition.
But then, I can also see how, at first glance her position does come across as grating.
I wonder how much sexism plays a role in this – American culture expects that women will be care-takers and nurturers, where-as men are not expected to take on that role.
(Link): I hate looking after ill people so I’m removing ‘in sickness’ from my wedding vows
Along with the big white dress and booze-up with friends, the most important part of any wedding is seeing two people commit to each other for the rest of their lives.
Although plenty of couples opt for personal vows to express their love, the most important moment of any ceremony is arguably the bit where they declare to look after one another “in sickness and in health”.
But one bride-to-be has caused uproar online after she explained why she wants to remove this important line on her big day.
Posting on Reddit’s “Am I The A—-le” forum, the woman said she wants to replace “in sickness” with “in happiness”.
She explained: “This is harsh, but I hate taking care of sick people.
“My siblings and I were always taking care of our parents whenever they get sick and I just hate it.
“I’m sick of it and I hate feeling bound or obligated to take care of somebody.
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