Brief Critique of the J. Daly editorial: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?

Brief Critique of the J. Daly ed: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?

In the midst of looking up Jim Daly’s contact information (so I could tweet him a link of my previous page), I found this linked to on his Twitter page (he wrote it):

(Link) Does Casual Sex Empower Women? by Daly

Here is the part that caught my attention:

    The cultural impact of casual sex

    Sadly, the cheapening of sex is having a long-term impact on marriage… which, in turn, negatively impacts parenting. It’s a tragic chain-reaction of events that work together to undermine the institution of family.

I know that Focus on the Family has a new family-centric film to promote ((Link): unfortunately), and I see the heading there says “cultural impact,” but Mr. Daly, the fact is, some women never marry and never have children, including Christian women.

The Bible does not say God promises all women a marriage partner not even the ones who pray for one and who want one.

If you see my previous post (link), you can see the stats on the number of singles in America.

Many women today are staying single these days, some against their wishes.

(That’s right, the typical conservative Christian canard that women are choosing to stay single because they hate marriage, hate men, or put career above marriage, or had tons of marriage proposals but turned them all down because they were too picky, are false).

There are plenty of Christian women such as myself (though I am half-agnostic now), who were raised in church and by Christian parents to expect, plan for, and count on marriage.

I had hoped for marriage. I still find myself single. I did not plan on being never-married into my 40s. I may never marry.

I am still a virgin. I have never had children.

The church does not support adult virginity – they ignore or shame adult celibate singles (a few links with examples of that can be found at the end of this post, and all over this blog if you search).

It makes no sense, and I see no biblical support, to suggest the only or main reason to argue against casual sex is on the basis of how it may “impact marriage and family.”

Continue reading “Brief Critique of the J. Daly editorial: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?”

What You Learn in Your 40s by P. Druckerman

What You Learn in Your 40s

(Link): What You Learn in Your 40s

    by P Druckerman

    PARIS — IF all goes according to plan, I’ll turn 44 soon after this column appears. So far in my adult life, I’ve never managed to grasp a decade’s main point until long after it was over. It turns out that I wasn’t supposed to spend my 20s frantically looking for a husband; I should have been building my career and enjoying my last gasp of freedom. I then spent my 30s ruminating on grievances accumulated in my 20s.

    … The modern 40s are so busy it’s hard to assess them. Researchers describe the new “rush hour of life,” when career and child-rearing peaks collide. Today’s 40ish professionals are the DITT generation: double income, toddler twins.

    …The existing literature treats the 40s as transitional. Victor Hugo supposedly called 40 “the old age of youth.” In Paris, it’s when waiters start calling you “Madame” without an ironic wink. The conventional wisdom is that you’re still reasonably young, but that everything is declining: health, fertility, the certainty that you will one day read “Hamlet” and know how to cook leeks. Among my peers there’s a now-or-never mood: We still have time for a second act, but we’d better get moving on it.

    I think the biggest transition of the 40s is realizing that we’ve actually, improbably, managed to learn and grow a bit. In another 10 years, our 40-something revelations will no doubt seem naïve (“Ants can see molecules!” a man told me in college).

    But for now, to cement our small gains, here are some things we know today that we didn’t know a decade ago:

    • If you worry less about what people think of you, you can pick up an astonishing amount of information about them. You no longer leave conversations wondering what just happened. Other people’s minds and motives are finally revealed.

    • People are constantly trying to shape how you view them. In certain extreme cases, they seem to be transmitting a personal motto, such as “I have a relaxed parenting style!”; “I earn in the low six figures!”; “I’m authentic and don’t try to project an image!”

    …There are no grown-ups. We suspect this when we are younger, but can confirm it only once we are the ones writing books and attending parent-teacher conferences. Everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently.

    • There are no soul mates. Not in the traditional sense, at least. In my 20s someone told me that each person has not one but 30 soul mates walking the earth. (“Yes,” said a colleague, when I informed him of this, “and I’m trying to sleep with all of them.”) In fact, “soul mate” isn’t a pre-existing condition. It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.

    … When you meet someone extremely charming, be cautious instead of dazzled. By your 40s, you’ve gotten better at spotting narcissists before they ruin your life. You know that “nice” isn’t a sufficient quality for friendship, but it’s a necessary one.

    … You don’t have to decide whether God exists. Maybe he does and maybe he doesn’t. But when you’re already worrying that the National Security Agency is reading your emails (and as a foreigner in France, that you’re constantly breaking unspoken cultural rules), it’s better not to know whether yet another entity is watching you.

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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Why It May Be Wiser For Women to Enter First Marriage At Age 40+ – especially ones from religious or conservative families

(Link): The advantages to getting engaged at age 37, by Patricia Beauchamp

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): The Stupid Advice We Give To Single Women Over 40 (from the Current Conscience Blog)

(Link): First Time Marriage for Man and Woman Both Over Age 40

(Link): This dad is glad he postponed fatherhood (commentary – first time father at age 40 or older)

(Link): Never-Married Men Over 40: Date-able or Debate-able?

(Link): Woman’s First Marriage at Age 40+

Woman Swaps Wedding Rings for Sports Tickets

Woman Swaps Wedding Rings for Sports Tickets

(Link): Wedding Rings Swapped for Chiefs Tickets

    A longtime Kansas City Chiefs fan says he swapped six game tickets for a wedding ring set advertised on Craigslist.

    The buyer, 49-year-old Kansas City resident Rusty Jones, said he first learned of the ring offer last week through a story in The Kansas City Star. He contacted the seller, who wanted to swap the rings and surprise a loved one with tickets to the Dec. 1 game at Arrowhead Stadium, The Kansas City Star reported (http://bit.ly/1hKTWH5) Friday.

    The tickets are a hot commodity as the Chiefs have started the season 9-0, and the December home game against Denver could have playoff implications.

    A season ticket holder since 1993, Jones said he and his girlfriend had started talking about engagement rings a month ago. He had tickets to offer, though not the club-level seats the seller was seeking. Nonetheless, his offer worked: Four tickets to the Broncos game and two tickets to the Nov. 24 Chargers game, all in section 123 near the end zone.

    Jones said the seller lost his contact information and ended up reposting the Craigslist ad. He reached out again and made a deal.

    The rings, which the newspaper said were from the seller’s previous marriage, were appraised at $2,800.

One in ten women love their pet more than partner

One in ten women love their pet more than partner

(Link): One in ten women love their pet more than partner

    Ten per cent of women prefer their pet to their partner and more than half said they would turn to the animal for comfort after a row with their boyfriend, a study finds

    By Telegraph reporters
    12:55AM GMT 08 Nov 2013

    One in ten women love their pet more than their partner, a study has found.

    And nearly a third of those polled said they felt the same way about their pet as they did their husband or boyfriend.
    More than half of 2,000 women said they would turn to their pet for comfort after a row with their husband and 39 per cent admitted they sought affection from their pet if they were being ignored by a boyfriend.

    “Even the most perfect relationships have off days so you can understand how women might love their pets just that little bit more after a disagreement with their partner,” a spokeswoman for the Brooke animal charity, which commissioned the survey, said.

    “Perhaps a frustration for women is also that they expect less of their pets but are still rewarded with endless affection and loyalty.