God’s Big Message at Christmas: You Are Not Alone, by Chris Field (Churches Need To Reach Out More to the Singles In Their Communities)

God’s Big Message at Christmas: You Are Not Alone, by Chris Field (Churches Need To Reach Out More to the Singles In Their Communities)

I have mixed feelings about posting a link to this (way below).

I know if you are literally alone – if you are a never married, divorced, or widowed adult, and you either don’t have children, or you are not on good terms with your biological family (or many of them are deceased or out of state), that it may be hard to feel positive about the message below.

Snowman
Snowman

I  know it can be difficult to hear Christians writing “you’re not alone, God is with you” if you are, as I said, literally, physically alone in your apartment or home.

It would be nice to have an actual, breathing human sitting across from you, rather than have to rest in the idea that there’s this God in Heaven who cares about you, and have to take that on faith.

I do think Christians (churches especially) need to step up to the plate more and make more of an effort to include those adults who live alone, who aren’t married, who don’t have a nuclear family of their own…

Rather than doing things like over-focusing on nuclear families, and closing churches down on Christmas Day (yes, some churches have been known to (Link):  withhold services on Christmas Day, because they assume every one is at home watching their biological child and spouse opening presents under the tree).

Never mind that some sites say that (Link): half or over half of the American population is now single – singles out-number married couples, and that stat won’t be changing any time soon, all the focus on Nuclear Families is excluding about half the American population.

So, what are you members of churches out there doing to reach out to the lonely and single in your areas?

Churches, you can stop it any time now with slobbering all over the married- with- children couples already. The “Nuclear Family” has received the “lion’s share” of affection and attention from churches and Christian culture for far too long now.

Time to start acknowledging the single and childless among you.

Churches have been losing in attendance in the last so many years – if they want to increase attendance, it might help if they start focusing on single adults.

(Link):  God’s Big Message at Christmas: You Are Not Alone, by Chris Field

Dec 25, 2021

Loneliness a terrible thing.

And as is often pointed out, at no time is loneliness more poignantly felt by scores of people than at Christmas.

If there’s an upside to the whole COVID fiasco, it’s that many of us had the opportunity last Christmas to experience a little bit of what that’s like. Millions of people had to stay separated from family — and we quickly realized that it’s not so great.

And it should have served as a wake-up call for those who call themselves followers of Jesus.

Continue reading “God’s Big Message at Christmas: You Are Not Alone, by Chris Field (Churches Need To Reach Out More to the Singles In Their Communities)”

31% of Americans Experience Loneliness Daily; 1 in 5 Practicing Christians Say the Same: Study – article by Leonardo Blair

31% of Americans Experience Loneliness Daily; 1 in 5 Practicing Christians Say the Same: Study – article by Leonardo Blair

The church should act as friends and family to all – but do most churches do this? No.

Most Christians expect that you run out, marry, create your own nuclear family and get most to all companionship via that marriage/family.

Those Christians and the rest then sit around on social media, podcasts, and blogs complaining and shaming anyone who doesn’t marry or have children.

They choose to complain about an issue rather than look for or implement solutions, or minister to people who cannot, or do not, ever marry, have children of their own, or have a nuclear family.

I have more commentary below this excerpt:

(Link): 31% of Americans experience loneliness daily; 1 in 5 practicing Christians say the same: study

by Leonardo Blair

Loneliness is being experienced by 31% of U.S. adults daily and Christians aren’t doing much better, new research from the Barna Group suggests.

Data for the research done in partnership with behavioral scientist Susan Mettes and the evangelical polling firm Barna was collected through online surveys from 1,003 U.S. adults from Feb. 18 to March 2, 2020, and 1,000 U.S. adults from April 28 to May 5, 2020.

Continue reading “31% of Americans Experience Loneliness Daily; 1 in 5 Practicing Christians Say the Same: Study – article by Leonardo Blair”

Single at Thanksgiving

Single at Thanksgiving

Several web pages linked to below:

(Link): How to Cope When You Are Alone on Thanksgiving

Excerpts:

by Arlin Cuncic

…Whatever the reason for being alone, there are ways that you can feel less lonely.

Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving

 Accept Being Alone
Accepting being alone doesn’t necessarily mean staying home and feeling lonely. There are many things that you can do on Thanksgiving that put you in the company of people, or connect you with people, while you are still alone.

Be Productive
Make it a productive day and get your house organized. Clean out closets, get the paperwork in order, make to-do lists, and generally get control of the little details in your life. You will end the day with a feeling of accomplishment, and the ability to focus on your relationships with others because your life is manageable.

Continue reading “Single at Thanksgiving”

‘I Stopped Having Sex or Relationships for Ten Years. Here’s What Happened’ by Anonymous

‘I Stopped Having Sex or Relationships for Ten Years. Here’s What Happened’ by Anonymous

(Link): ‘I stopped having sex or relationships for ten years. Here’s what happened’ by Anonymous

[The woman author in London describes having been in two relationships that broke up because both men cheated on her. She then quit her job, volunteered at a charity in another nation, came back to London and changed to yet another job and made other changes in her life]

Yet one thing eluded me. I couldn’t form a romantic attachment to men. I found men attractive and felt sexual energy towards some.

I enjoyed flirting but avoided sex out of fear it would cause an emotional attachment.

For the next decade of my life, from the age of 35 to 45, I had no relationships, one night stands or dalliances that would throw me off balance.

Continue reading “‘I Stopped Having Sex or Relationships for Ten Years. Here’s What Happened’ by Anonymous”

Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

This poor lady. Condolences to her.

One reason I am posting this is to highlight that there are no guarantees in life – getting married is not some kind of magic spell that will make you immune to heartache or loneliness.

I’ve seen marriage-pushing conservatives, both secular and Christian, promote marriage by creating podcasts or blog posts trying to “scare” single adult into getting married by saying things like “If you don’t marry, you’ll die alone!”

After Covid became a thing, marriage-idolater Brad Wilcox, of the National Marriage Project and Institute for Family Studies, began publishing anti-singles hit pieces, saying how married people were doing better in the pandemic (no, they are not. See links at the end of this post).

You can get married but still end up alone – for one, if your spouse dies from Covid.

If the virus were a sentient being, it wouldn’t pause when it comes to you and think, “Well, I’m not going to get into this person’s respiratory system, because they’re married!”

You can be married all live long day and still end up dying – or your spouse could die before you do, leaving you single once more.

Time for Christians to stop marketing marriage as some kind of cure-all for everything that could ail a person.

(Link): Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

by Jackie Salo
August 26, 2021

A Florida woman says she returned home from battling COVID-19 in the hospital to a “nightmare” scene with her husband dead after also contracting the virus.

Lisa Steadman, 58, said she was horrified to walk in Wednesday to discover her 55-year-old husband Ron’s body in the bedroom of their home in Winter Haven, Fox13 News reported.

Continue reading “Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus”

Loneliness: Coping With the Gap Where Friends Used to Be by Olivia Laing

Loneliness: Coping With the Gap Where Friends Used to Be by Olivia Laing

(Link): Loneliness: Coping With the Gap Where Friends Used to Be

by Olivia Laing
July 18, 2021

Friendships can be difficult, and lockdowns have made them even harder to maintain. But we should cherish them

Almost every day for the past few months, I’ve told my husband I am lonely. Obviously I’m glad that he’s around.

What I miss are my friends. In the first lockdown, we stayed in touch with Zoom dates, which were awkward, often drunk and occasionally very joyful.

Those days are long gone. I’ve returned to texting, and though I’m often deep in four or five conversations at once, it isn’t the same as being together.

In the past year, there was a difficult bereavement in my family, and work has been harder than normal. None of these things are unique or insurmountable but the isolation has left me feeling almost capsized by anxiety and paranoia.

…But a lack of friends is a growing problem, in Britain and America alike. A  (Link): recent study, conducted by the American Enterprise Institute, suggests that the proportion of people who can name six close friends has dropped from 55% to 27% since the 1990s, while people who have no close friends at all had risen from 3% to 12%.

Continue reading “Loneliness: Coping With the Gap Where Friends Used to Be by Olivia Laing”

Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway

Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway

A few years ago, I did a blog post or two with similar content – pointing out how churches keep on ignoring or minimizing singles by ignoring them and their accomplishments while forcing everyone to acknowledge (generally during Sunday morning church services) the milestones of married parents (e.g., announcing pregnancies, Mother’s Day celebrations, etc).

There’s nothing like that for single adults. And it’s tiresome when you’re a single.

It’s tiresome to walk into a church regularly and see the pastor or whomever in the church acknowledge marriages, new births, etc. (and this is usually done during church services where you’re part of a captive audience, and it’s done from the pulpit, so you don’t have a choice but to listen to it), but they never congratulate the adult singles in the adult singles’ lives for their milestones (e.g., gaining another college degree, buying a first home alone, getting a job promotion, etc).

Most churches unfairly only recognize marriages and “baby-making” – it’s absolutely infuriating.

(Link): It’s the Summer of Weddings. Here Are Other Milestones We Can Celebrate.

Excerpts:

by Anna Broadway
June 14, 2021

The church has a unique opportunity to recognize markers of spiritual growth in our communities.

…But watching the joyous announcements and photos of this season triggered an internal battle over my status as a single woman and my “success” in adult life. As I learned from (Link): 17 months of researching Christian singleness around the world, many cultures deem marriage a mark of maturity into adulthood, a view that too often sidelines single people.

The Bible takes a different view of maturity: one based on a relationship with Christ rather than with another person. The apostle Paul, for example, called believers to develop certain qualities rather than hit certain life markers. That ought to have significant implications for what and how we celebrate.

Continue reading “Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway”

Being Single Was Just a Part of Their Lives Before the Pandemic. Then It Became the Defining One by B. Luscombe

Being Single Was Just a Part of Their Lives Before the Pandemic. Then It Became the Defining One by B. Luscombe

(Link): Being Single Was Just a Part of Their Lives Before the Pandemic. Then It Became the Defining One

Excerpts:

[Article opens with interviews with single adults who are living alone in the Covid pandemic]

….At the dawn of 2020, about a quarter of American households were made up of people who lived alone. According to the U.S. Census, the number of households consisting of only one person has jumped 10% in the past 20 years to an all-time high of 28.4% in 2019.

Partly this is because people are marrying later in life (the average age of first marriage is nearing 30).

And partly, sociologists believe, it has to do with money. Wealthy countries generally have a higher proportion of people who can afford to live solo. At the same time, many people don’t want to get married and raise families until they feel financially secure. In 2017, 14% of Americans told Pew Research they had no interest in getting married.

Continue reading “Being Single Was Just a Part of Their Lives Before the Pandemic. Then It Became the Defining One by B. Luscombe”

Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby

Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby

Contrary to a lot of secular and Christian conservative marriage and nuclear family propaganda, getting married and/or having children are not guarantees that you won’t die alone or won’t face other hardships in life.

Maybe the following news headline could be used as one argument about why it’s better to remain single and childless.

(Link): Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby

Michael Keene, an Army vet, got COVID-19 in early October. He died three weeks later, 48 hours after Nicole Keene, gave birth prematurely.

 By Meghan Holohan
Dec 18, 2020

After struggling with COVID-19 for three weeks this fall, Jeffery Michael Keene, 39, was admitted to the hospital. Doctors tried stabilizing him without intubating him, but they had to place him on a ventilator on Oct. 16. Wife, Nicole Keene, worried. She was a respiratory therapist and knew that being on a ventilator was “not to be taken lightly.”

But then Keene went into labor at 34 weeks and her son, Michael Wesson, was born unresponsive. Doctors sent Wesson to the same hospital as his father. Two days later, Michael died without ever knowing Wesson was born.

Continue reading “Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby”

People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds

People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds

If marriage-idolater and single-adult-shamer Bradford Wilcox, of “National Marriage Project” and “Institute of Family Studies” gets wind of this, I fully expect him to try to refute it by saying that married people are happier spending time with their spouses.

Wilcox, Al Mohler, and other marriage-obsessed anti-singleness bigots don’t care about truth – they care about pushing their pro-marriage agenda at all costs.

(Link): People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds 

People are happier when they are with their friends than with their partner or children, a study has found

More than 400 volunteers were asked to rank how much they enjoyed a recent moment with their friends and family

Continue reading “People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds”

Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’

Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’

Hello, Christians? Hello, churches?
Instead of obsessing over married-with-children couples and the little kids, teens, and college-aged students (typically in their early 20s), why don’t you stop and realize that the populations in some nations are aging and could use help and companionship?

Stop fixating on The Youth and Nuclear Families and start paying attention to folks outside of those groups – such as never-married singles who are over the age of 29, the divorced, and the widowed.

And let this be a lesson to hyper-marriage-promoters such as (but not limited to) Al Mohler and Bradford Wilcox, that getting married does NOT guarantee that a person will never suffer loneliness in life – if your spouse dies before you do, you will be alone.

If your spouse develops dementia or just loses interest in meeting your emotional needs, you will be alone – while married. 

Being married is not a guarantee that you won’t be lonely.

I wish this guy the best. I hope he’s able to make a friend or two.

(Link): Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’

Sept 15, 2020
by Hannah Sparks

Tony Williams isn’t asking for much.

The 75-year-old from Britain is tugging at the heartstrings of social media following his simple request: a friend.

Williams is still grieving the loss of his wife, Jo, who died in May. Since then, the retired physicist, who has neither children nor other family to visit, says he’s gone days without speaking to anyone.

“Jo was my best friend, and we had a lovely life. But now I’m all by myself. My wonderful wife has just died, and I have nobody,” he told SWNS.

In his desperation, Williams recently took out two ad blocks in his community newspaper — to no avail, according to SWNS, because he didn’t receive a single response.

Continue reading “Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’”

Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone

Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone

There have been several news reports over the last two or three months reporting about how so many people – especially elderly people – are dying all alone due to Covid-19 (Coronavirus), whether they are dying in hospitals or nursing homes.

Due to wanting to contain the virus, medical facilities are not permitting family (if any) of the dying Covid patient to visit their sick loved one. So, a lot of people – even married parents! – are dying alone. (Links with examples to follow.)

I bring this up because one scare tactic I’ve seen used off and on by marriage-promoters, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and others, is to tell single and childless adults that we will die all alone, unless we marry and have children. They tell childless, never married adults like myself to be very afraid, because unless I marry and have a child, I will be all alone on my death bed.

Well, my mother – who was married and had adult children – died all alone in the wee hours at a care facility she was staying at. Despite the fact my mother was married with kids did not guarantee that she had the “Norman Rockwell” death so many marriage-pushers suggest one will have, where one will be surrounded by loving spouse holding their hand while adult children surround the bed tenderly looking on.

People dying all alone sans children and spouse (if they are married with kids) has definitely been a thing since the start of Covid 19.

Here are links about the situation, including a link or two from marriage-pushing, conservative sites such as The Federalist:

(Link): ‘Patients dying alone’: The frightening reality of many COVID-19 patients’ final moments  (March 2020)

(Link): ‘I’m Sorry I Can’t Kiss You’—Coronavirus Victims Are Dying Alone

(Link): Coronavirus Patients Are Dying Alone, Leaving Loved Ones With Grief And Guilt

It was the last time Beaudette saw her father alive. He died two days later, and she couldn’t be there.

(Link):  Loneliness and suffering in the hospital during the coronavirus crisis

“I’m already downstairs, doctor. Can I see my mother just for five minutes?”

I told him that I would ask the nursing manager; given the fact that Mrs. A couldn’t speak or understand, perhaps that would fall under the list of reasons why an exception could be made.

But five minutes later, the nurse was on the phone trying to calm him down. “I just want to be there for five minutes to tell her why I can’t visit anymore, that she shouldn’t worry when I stop showing up!”

The nurse tears up as she says that he cannot visit. She turns to me, and I motion that I would take back the call.

Continue reading “Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone”