Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’s Response

Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’ s Response

Christianity Today magazine (Link): tweeted about an article about marriage by Ed Stetzer.

I have written about another Stetzer piece before, this one:

(Link): Hey Ed Stetzer: Opposite Gender Friendships Are Not Sinful

Ed Stetzer’s Advice: “Avoid Any Hint” – More Like: Re enforce UnBiblical Stereotypes About Men, Women, Sex, and Singles

The CT piece I am (Link): referring to in this post is entitled
“Love & Marriage… Go Together Like… A Few Comments on the Covenantal Practice Today ”
with a sub-heading of,
“Marriage is a created good, is not a ‘must,’ isn’t easy.”

Before I could click on and read the Twitter-based link to the CT piece by Stetzer, I saw a set of Tweets below by someone named C. Allen, who I presume is a woman (though Allen could be a man – I’ll just say for the sake of this post that Allen is a woman).

The link to the main tweet is (Link): here, and if you scroll down, you can see the responses by C. Allen.

Before even reading the actual page by Stetzer, C. Allen’s take on it on Twitter was all I needed to know. (I read the Stetzer page later.)

I replied to Allen, telling her I completely agreed with the comments she Tweeted below the CT Tweet.

Here is Allen’s (Link): first comment in that Twitter thread:

In that entire article, only about two brief paragraphs were dedicated to Christian singleness. The rest was lamenting the degradation of the marital institution and reiterating with the same old words why marriage is important. And people wonder why singles feel disenfranchised.
/// end

Continue reading “Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’s Response”

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California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Here we go yet again. Conservatives, both Christian and secular, believe and promote untruths and falsehoods that marriage will make people more mature and empathetic and that marriage is so much better for society than people remaining single.

I have been a conservative going back to my teen years, and I heard all the pro-Family Values rhetoric all the time, rhetoric which generally includes bashing singleness or insulting single adults for being single.

Frequently, conservatives will blame liberals or feminism for “ruining” society and they will prescribe marriage and having children as “the cure”, but I sure as heck do not see traditional values, church, Christianity, The Nuclear Family, Family Values, or marriage or parenthood making society any better.

Married people are not more sexually pure than single adults. Many times, conservatives incorrectly assume that being married will cause a decrease in a person sexually sinning, and that all to most single adults are “horn dogs” who lack sexual self control.

Christians will sometimes teach that if you are a single adult who’d like to marry that you, the single, must meet some kind of spiritual standard or else God will not allow you to marry, that God will not “reward you with” a spouse.

Christians will teach singles that it is sinful to marry outside the Christian faith. They often based this on a verse or two that mentions being equally yoked, and the assumption seems to be that a Christian who marries a Non-Christian will “veer off course” and become a non-believer too or live a life of sin.

Here we have a news story of two Christians married to each other, one worked as a church pastor no less, but they are both a couple of perverts.

Being married did not keep this couple from sexually sinning. Being married did not make this couple more mature, responsible, godly, and God apparently did not mind rewarding both of these deviants with a spouse, because he permitted them to marry each other.

Lastly, I would rather marry an atheist who is not a pervert than be “equally yoked” to a self professing Christian man like the pastor in this story who sexually preyed on women congregants.

(Link): California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Jan 19, 2018

by Travis Gettys

A former parishioner sued a California church and its former pastors — who she accused of sexual assault, battery and harassment.

The woman, a mother of two in her 30s, sued former Church for Life pastors Robert Litzinger and Cindy Litzinger seeking compensatory and punitive damages, reported the (Link): Santa Maria Times.

Continue reading “California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit”

This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

(Link): This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

Excerpts:

Blood relatives are key to the holiday. But I share a deeper DNA with the body of Christ.

Every Saturday, after evening church services, my husband and I open our home to friends— mostly unmarried ones.

Sometimes it’s four or five friends, sometimes one, sometimes it’s just my husband and me and our housemate, a 24-year-old intern at our church. Whatever the number, we gather around the table in the nook of our kitchen, light candles, listen to one another, pray, sometimes play a game, sometimes mourn with each other, and usually laugh.

Continue reading “This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert”

Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison

Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison

Observe how conservative Christian propaganda about marriage v. singleness is not true: marriage does not make people more godly, mature, or responsible. Single adults are not all out there engaging in sex trafficking or obstructing justice.

Just look, look at what marriage produces: adults who sell people as sex slaves and then lie to the police about it.

And don’t count on dating or marrying Christian men only – a lot of them are into things like having sex with (raping) teen kids and selling them into sex trafficking. You’d be better off dating nice atheist, Hindu, or Jewish boys who would never even think about raping kids or selling them into sex rings.

(Link): Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison by Leonard Blair

Excerpts:

Weeks after she was fired from her job as administrator in Lucas County, Ohio, former “first lady” of Abundant Life Ministries in Toledo Laura Lloyd-Jenkins has now joined her husband, the Rev. Cordell Jenkins, behind bars for allegedly obstructing a sex trafficking investigation against him.

An ABC 13 report said Lloyd-Jenkins could now face a maximum prison sentence of up to 28 years if she is found guilty of one count of obstructing a sex trafficking investigation along with one count of making a false statement.

…She pled not guilty to the charges against her when she appeared in court last Friday but was remanded in custody by Judge Jack Zouhary. Authorities allege that Lloyd-Jenkins, 43, notified a defendant of the pending investigation in March, then made false statements to law enforcement about her knowledge of the conduct alleged in the April indictment.

The former administrator and her husband were once partners in faith at Abundant Life Ministries until April 7 when Rev. Jenkins, 46, and Rev. Anthony Haynes, 38, were arrested by the FBI for sex trafficking of children.

Continue reading “Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison”

Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

(Link): Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

by Daniel Politi

The head of the Family Research Council allegedly kept quiet about claims that an Ohio Republican lawmaker assaulted a teenage boy in a hotel two years ago. Perkins was told that then-candidate for the Ohio legislature Wesley Goodman’s allegedly fondled a supporter’s son during a conference in Washington, (Link): according to the Washington Post.

“If we endorse these types of individuals, then it would seem our whole weekend together was nothing more than a charade,” the boy’s stepfather wrote to Perkins, head of the Council for National Policy, to demand action. Perkins replied that “this will not be ignored nor swept aside” but he did say the issue would be “dealt … with prudence.”

The apparent actions by Goodman apparently didn’t come as a surprise to Perkins who referred to “similar incidents” in a letter. Perkins called on Goodman to step down from the race, but he continued and eventually won a seat in the legislature in November.

Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker

Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker

Another suggestion: if you’re meeting someone over age 35, and they’re alone, do NOT assume they have been previously married or have had kids (don’t ask them, “So, how long has it been since you divorced”).

A lot of church people are bad about that. Any time I’ve walked into a church post age 35, they always ASSUME I am divorced (I have never been married, so this really annoys me).

(Link): Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker

Excerpts:

by Bella DePaulo and Joan DelFattore

…. But what one of you probably would say before long is, “Are you married?” It’s seen as the most natural of ice-breakers, as if it’s the first thing strangers need to know about each other.

We, and dozens of people we’ve asked about this, encounter the question everywhere. Even random strangers sitting next to us in a train or plane will ask, “Are you married?”

Sometimes the questioner assumes you’re married— like the car dealer who asks if your husband is with you, or the job interviewer who says, “Do you need to talk it over with your wife?” When setting up online accounts, security questions such as “Where did you go on your honeymoon?” or “What is your maiden name?” seem inescapable.

Cue the music from the Twilight Zone, because what we have here is a time warp.

Continue reading “Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker”

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children

Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children

Contrary to my fellow conservatives, marriage (or parenthood) do not necessarily make people more godly, mature, ethical, responsible or loving. Yet another example listed below. A very disgusting example.

Also note: contra Christian teachings, if you are single, God is not waiting on you to become more godly, more perfect, more spiritual, more loving, or more “whatever,” before he’ll permit you to have a spouse. If this teaching were true, we’d not see perverts like the one in the story below getting married.

(Link): Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children

A woman in Pennsylvania admitted she helped her husband rape two children. According to People, 31-year-old Holly Greiner was sentenced for her crimes.

In 2015, Holly and her husband, 29-year-old Robert Phillip Greiner, were arrested after a 10-year-old boy told West Manheim Township police what happened.

The child said he and a 5-year-old girl were sexually abused by the Pennsylvania couple over a six-month period.

Continue reading “Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children”

Married School Teacher Sentenced to Prison For Watching Live Stream of Six Year Old Boy Being Raped

Married School Teacher Sentenced to Prison For Watching Live Stream of Six Year Old Boy Being Raped

(The link to the news article about the pervert is way below my commentary)

I can see that being married did not make this school teacher ethical, moral, or more godly.

I happen to be a conservative. However.

If I see one more op/ed by a Christian pastor or from a conservative think tank whose authors – such as a (Link): Bradford Wilcox – make flimsy arguments on behalf of marriage on grounds such as, marriage supposedly makes people more loving, mature, or responsible, I will punch a hole in the wall.

There is no truth in the claim that marriage makes people better or more productive members of society, or that married persons are superior in any way to single adults.

The Bible itself, as seen in 1 Cor 7, highly esteems singleness. Jesus Christ and Paul were single. The Bible no where says marriage is necessary for godliness, maturity, sanctification, etc.

Over the last three weeks, I have seen many, many news items about married people or parents who were arrested for killing their children, abusing their spouses, or for selling their own kids into sex trafficking, and other terrible things.

Continue reading “Married School Teacher Sentenced to Prison For Watching Live Stream of Six Year Old Boy Being Raped”

Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead

Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead

Sad story linked to below.

One scare tactic people (usually my fellow conservatives) will pull on singles to get them to hurry up and marry is to tell them that if they remain single, they will die alone, or that being married some how makes dying easier.

By the way, side note, here – if the church did its job and acted as spiritual family to everyone, instead of focusing on their blood relations, then elderly single people who are unrelated to them would do just fine.

A  Christian man or woman should not have to marry to have “family” look after them – if churches stopped worshipping The Nuclear Family and actually got off their marriage-worshipping asses, they could look after elderly people who live alone!

Anyway, about this view that you should marry or have to so that you won’t die alone: this is a pretty dumb argument, because married people die alone all the time.

My mother died in the wee hours of the morning in a hospital. She was supposed to be there for only about a week before returning home.

My father and I were not with her when she passed – we got a phone call from the nursing staff that she had passed away. My mother was married to my father. Her being married did not prevent her from dying, nor was my father with her when she died.

In this story below, an elderly married couple died.  They were ‘kind of’ together when they died, but it did not help them.

The husband in the story had dementia, and the wife could not walk, or not walk well.

The husband accidentally drove off the road, got the car stuck in the mud, left his wife in the car to go get help, walked down the street – he died (not sure if he had a heart attack of what).

His wife died in the car, some X feet away from her husband who was dead on the road side.

She was in the car alone in temperatures over 80 degrees. (Remember, she could not walk, or found it difficult, and her son or the cops or whomever, found her wheelchair back at her house, it was not in the car with her.)

Okay: so you can be married and still end up dying. You can end up dying alone.

I’m not sure if your husband dying a few feet of where you are (as in this story) would be any more comforting than your husband not being there at all.

So to all the singleness-shamers out there, stop telling us singles that we’ll die all alone, because you know what, married people? You may die all alone, too.

Not everyone dies in a warm, cozy bed surrounded with the smiling faces of loved ones before they kick off.

(Link):  He was his wife’s caretaker for decades but got dementia. Their deaths were ‘horrific’

BY SAMANTHA SCHMIDT

Aug 2017

…Getting around became even more difficult for the Tarnowskis – Mary, 78, and Ron, 81. The couple hardly ever left the home which their son, Karl Tarnowski, built adjacent to his own so he could keep an eye on them.

…On Saturday afternoon, eight days after the couple went missing, the family received their answer, and a tragic end to their strenuous search.

A U.S. Border Patrol helicopter found the couple’s Chevy Tahoe on an overgrown, abandoned driveway in a swampy area off the road just two miles away from the family’s hunting property.

They were near Brookston, a town about 30 miles from their Duluth home.

Continue reading “Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead”

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

I’m a single woman, but I’ve never been liberal.

(Link): How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

….The more freedom we have, the more there will be very feminine and masculine subcultures too, and this might explain a great deal of recent political developments — in particular the campus identity politics movement and the alt-right.

The former is heavily female, while the latter is overwhelmingly male — in fact, not just male, but populated by men who seem to have difficulties with women.

…Single women tend to be politically very liberal, voting for the Democrats in huge numbers….

Generally speaking, the culture wars are far more intense between women because women have to make more sacrifices — whether children or career — and this inevitably influences their worldview.

Continue reading “How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West”

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

Excerpts:

…Note the double-edged sword of motherhood here. Attracting the praise of being a “good mother” was always accompanied by the threat that you might fall from the perch at any moment and cause devastating harm to your child.

Hence the amplification of mechanisms of control, censure, and punishment that go hand in hand with the valorization and surveillance of parenting. Deep within the medical and psychological frameworks promoting motherhood in this period, there lurks male anxiety over female power and influence.

Continue reading “The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard”

‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband by L. Little

‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband by L. Little

For the billionth time on this blog: marriage does not instill godliness, maturity, kindness, or altruism in a person, as so many conservative Christians and my fellow secular conservatives keep maintaining in their editorials.

If marriage was all that was necessary to instill great character in a person and so on, Jesus Christ would not have needed to die on the cross.

Because Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7 that remaining single is of more benefit to society (the kingdom of God, specifically) than marriage, in that, supposedly, a Christian single’s energy and attention is not divided between pleasing a spouse and pleasing God, it also makes no sense for Christians to argue that marriage is somehow necessary to fix culture, as they so frequently do.

I no longer agree with the Christian teaching of “be equally yoked” in marriage, because I see no advantage in a woman marrying a Christian man, because (Link): so many of them are abusive or are perverts.

Here is yet another example of that (I have a small number of comments below the long excerpt here):

(Link): ‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband | (Tweet)

by L. Little, July 2017

The wife of a radical Australian preacher has broken her silence for the first time on the horrific abuse she suffered for years at the hands of her cruel husband.

But Joy Harris, 63, revealed the most devastating aspect of her ordeal was being shunned by her own son – an Independent Baptist pastor like his Dad – because he blamed her for his father’s evil actions.

“I’m totally heartbroken. He hasn’t even let me see his children, because I have to repent first.”

Speaking in a 60 Minutes exclusive, the Cairns grandmother said she had been raped up to seven time a day by her husband, Pastor Larry Harris.

“He thought the more times a day he could have it, the more of a man he was. He would get up to 6, 7 times a day and he didn’t care if it caused me pain,” she told reporter Liam Bartlett.

Continue reading “‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband by L. Little”

Newly Married Couple Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating, and Raping Woman (Marriage Does Not Make People More Mature or Loving)

Newly Married Couple Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating, and Raping Woman (Marriage Does Not Make People More Mature or Loving)

There’s this view among a lot of conservative Christians and secular conservatives that marriage is a necessary component to make a person mature and repsponsible – and Christians like to argue marriage is necessary to “sanctify” a person (though the Bible does not teach this but esteems singleness).

They promote these views in part because they have a wrong view that marriage is necessary to “clean up” culture. They have no faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ to transform people, so they rely on things such as marriage, traditional gender roles, natalism, or the nuclear family to “fix” society, though the New Testament doesn’t seem too concerned with anyone’s culture being fixed.

A culture being fixed would be a by-product of individuals within said culture accepting Christ as Savior and being transformed by the Holy Spirit.

It does not necessarily follow that a “fixed” culture – one made of people who accept Christ – would all be married. It would be theoretically possible for such a “fixed” society to be entirely comprised of born-again single adults.

As you can see here, being married did not make these two adults who kidnapped and raped a woman godly, mature, responsible, loving, or ethical:

(Link): Honeymooners Arrested for Kidnapping and Raping Woman

Excerpts:

by A Woods
July 2017

A callous couple on honeymoon in Florida kidnapped and raped a woman before strolling stark naked into two stores, according to a report.

The 27-year-old victim had just finished grocery shopping at a Publix store in Miami on July 9 …

….Horsley began choking the woman while Lowe punched her in the face, the station reported.

Continue reading “Newly Married Couple Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating, and Raping Woman (Marriage Does Not Make People More Mature or Loving)”

What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You by G. Dalfonzo

What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You by G. Dalfonzo

Good on her for writing this, but I can tell you that 99.9% of American churches will ignore this advice because they don’t care about singles: they prefer to worship The Nuclear Families.

(Link): What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You

Excerpts:

Singles are on the rise. Here’s what forward-looking churches need to know.

According to recent Pew data, the (Link): number of married Americans is at its lowest point since at least 1920. In 2015, only half of Americans ages 18 and over were married, (Link): compared with 72 percent in 1960.

Put another way: Singles are on the rise and beginning to outnumber marrieds. The church, however, doesn’t reflect those numbers.

According to a (Link): recent Barna study, while more than half of Americans (54%) between the ages of 18 and 49 are single, only 23 percent of active churchgoers are single. “Your church should be filling up at least half of your pews with single people,” (Link): writes Joyce Chiu for Barna Trends. “So what will get them there?”

…..So how can your local church create a welcoming space for singles?

Recognize that single people’s needs may look different from yours.
When a single person talks about feeling lonely, it’s common for a married person to counter that he or she often feels lonely, too. That’s not surprising. Studies show that up to half of us experience loneliness “at least some of the time.”

Continue reading “What the Single in Your Pew Needs from You by G. Dalfonzo”

Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

A woman named San wrote to Christian program “The 700 Club” to say she’s in a marriage where her husband is ignoring her in favor of TV shows and his job and so forth. Pat Robertson’s son Gordon answered her letter.

Here is her letter to The 700 Club:

I have been very lonely in my marriage.

My husband’s priorities fall in this order: work, television, and then his phone. I have brought it to his attention so many times. I find myself only relying on God and Him being my true friend but I am still lonely.

Yes, I have God to turn to and I talk to God all day, every day, but it would be nice to have a husband in my life who I can truly share my life with. What should I do?

[signed] San

I didn’t completely agree with the host’s answer.

Continue reading “Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.”

Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin

Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin

Because American culture has seen a rise in the number of people, even Christians, using pornography and engaging in other forms of sexual sins, I’ve seen a disturbing and curious trend among some Christians (writers, commentators, preachers) in the last few years to downplay the seriousness of sexual sin, and to try to convince other Christians to just accept sexual sin as a normal part of life and marriage now.

And the people who pay for this lowering of standards is usually women. Women are once more expected, by male Christians, to bear the brunt of male sexual sin. Christians are always asking Christian women to endure and put up with male Christian sexual sin.

A few years ago, I created this post: (Link): Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts and Regnerus believes as such because rates of porn use among Christian men have gone up quite a bit.

Regnerus feels if too many Christian single women refuse to marry Christian male porn users, then Christian marriage will come to a grinding halt, so, he feels, single women are obligated to marry a porn user, even if they really do not want to.

Not only have I seen articles saying that porn viewing has risen among single Christian men, but I’ve seen articles noting it’s on the rise among (Link): married Christian men (and (Link): women too).

Here are a few additional articles with numbers on Christian porn use:

(Link):  Survey: Alarming rate of Christian men look at porn, commit adultery

(Link): NEW SURVEY OF PORN USE: MEN AND WOMEN WATCHING IN STARTLING NUMBERS (2016)

Christian men view porn almost as much as non-Christians

According to the research approximately 64 percent, or two thirds, of U.S. men admit to viewing porn at least monthly, with the number of Christian men nearly equaling the national average. When divided by age “eight out of ten (79%) men between the ages of 18 and 30 view pornography at least monthly, and two thirds (67%) of men between the ages of 31 and 49 view pornography at least monthly. One half of men between 50 and 68 looks at porn monthly.”

The study claims three out of every 10 men between the ages of 18 and 30 are daily viewers of porn; three percent of women in the same age group purportedly access pornography daily.

— end excerpts —

Because sexual sins are running rampant among Christianity these days, it looks to me as though many Christians have given up, and they want to cave in to culture. They basically want to downplay or redefine certain sexual behaviors as not being so bad, not being truly unbiblical, or damaging.

Almost in all examples I have come across like this, where the male Christian writer is downplaying sexual sin or asking women to “put up with it,” the ones promoting these lax views are conservative Christians who believe in sola scriptura.

Continue reading “Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin”

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

Excerpts:

Gina Dalfonzo shares an insider’s perspective on the frustrations of long-term singleness


This was never the life I imagined. My friends and I often sit around wondering how we got here. What boys did we pass up? What mistakes did we make?

What routines did we neglect, leaving us sleeping alone while the ticking of our biological clocks lulls us into fitful dreams? I don’t feel equipped for singleness.

All the youth group dating advice was predicated on the idea that marriage was in my future, that if I made all the right choices, kept myself pure, and sought after God, he would reward me with a husband. I’ve only recently gotten to a place where I can ask myself, But what if he doesn’t?

Continue reading “Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith”

Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy by E. Scott

Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy

(Link): Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy by E. Scott

All over the internet today, you’ve probably seen some iteration of the following headline: ‘marriage is good for your health, so you’d better hurry up and get hitched unless you want to die young in some horrible way.’

Everyone’s talking about a new bit of research, which suggests that married people have better health than poor, sad, unhealthy singletons.

[Articles suggest that single adults live unhealthier life styles]

Why? Because single people are bloody miserable, apparently.

Continue reading “Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy by E. Scott”

Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka, and the SCCL Push-Back

Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka – via Relevant Magazine, and the SCCL Push-Back

The essay “Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex” by Rachel Pietka was discussed over at Facebook group SCCL (Link): here a few days ago.

The consensus by the SCCL readership is that the page – by R. Pietka – is that it’s awful. Many in the SCCL thread did not approve of it or agree with it.

I don’t know why the SCCL readership largely condemned the page, because some of it is right in line with the ex-Christian, or liberal Christian views, about sex and sexual purity.

I’ll give you a long excerpt from the page before discussing it a bit more below:

(Link):  Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka

What Christians need to remember about God’s design for sex.

…While the [Christian based sexual abstinence] movement is great at detailing— and exaggerating—the benefits of saving sex for marriage, it is dishonest about the challenges abstinence presents to couples who eventually tie the knot.

…Jessica Ciencin Henriquez recently detailed how the abstinence movement affected her sex life and marriage in a revealing article titled, (Link): “My Virginity Mistake.”

Henriquez relays how she pledged herself to Jesus at a purity ceremony at age 14, remained a virgin until she married six years later, and wound up divorced after she and her husband could not make things work in the bedroom.

Looking back, Henriquez states if she had not insisted on waiting for sex until marriage, she could have prevented her divorce.

Henriquez’s story is important because it highlights an issue the abstinence movement rarely acknowledges: sexual incompatibility within marriage.

While this issue may seem irrelevant, it is actually fundamental to traditional Christian beliefs about sex. The fact that sexual compatibility does not matter to Christians when choosing a spouse makes the shocking and countercultural statement that sex is not our God.

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