When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

I just blogged about this very topic just yesterday, June 25 (today is June 26) when I saw this video on You Tube today! Talk about coincidental timing!

So this psychologist, Dr. Ramani, made this 11.54 video (I’ll embed it below, you can also watch it on You Tube here) who discusses a letter by a woman married to a guy who uses (fake) illness as an excuse to leave social functions early.

The woman said her husband has a habit of faking sickness to get out of social obligations or to depart them early.

Well, the woman’s kid sister was turning 18, the family was throwing a birthday party / dinner for the young lady, and this married woman had her husband go with her.

The husband said he didn’t want to go, but the wife wouldn’t take No for an answer on this one – the husband never wanted to go to parties, and she seemed to feel like the husband would or could make an exception for this, since it was for her kid sister.

So they go to the party, the husband vomits on purpose while at the party but makes it look as though he’s sick – all so he can leave the party early and force his wife to go with him.

The psychologist who is discussing this story (she’s reading from a letter the woman wrote asking for advice) points out that so many people are quick to tell people like the woman who wrote this letter “to have boundaries,” which the woman tried on her (probably narcissistic) husband, but he didn’t heed her boundaries and instead actually doubled down on his obnoxious behavior.

I’ve seen several of Dr. Ramani’s videos before, she’s quite good, and I like her, but I always cringe a little when I hear mental health professionals who specialize in narcissism (as she does) sort of denigrate the concept of having boundaries, which she sort of does in the video embedded below.

Boundaries Usually Work And Are A Good Thing To Have

I spent 35 or so years (Link): as a severe codependent.

I believe boundaries are very important and can be life-saving and can improve one’s mental health.

Boundaries may not work in all situations or with all people, true enough, but by and large, boundaries DO work with most people and most situations and can save your self esteem, energy, mental health, and possibly your bank account in the long run.

Continue reading “When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc”

Graduate Man Who Was Unhappy Being Single, Frustrated He Couldn’t Get a Girlfriend, Hooked on Violent Porn, Terrified Women With Instagram ‘Rape List’ In Stalking Campaign

Graduate Man Who Was Unhappy Being Single, Frustrated He Couldn’t Get a Girlfriend, Hooked on Violent Porn, Terrified Women With Instagram ‘Rape List’ In Stalking Campaign

It’s been my observation in over five decades of life that it’s usually men who engage in behavior like this – creating rape lists; feeling entitled to the opposite sex; exploding in rage or willing to harm those of the opposite sex when they have trouble getting dates.

And yet, if a woman points any of this out, a lot of men (and some idiot conservative women) will say, “You’re a misandrist; how dare you.”

No. It’s not “misandrist” to notice that as a group, men do tend to hold some sexist views or engage in sexist behavior, and this is something we don’t usually see from most women.

(Link): Stalker drew up ‘rape list’ of women he looked up on ancestry website

by Sian Elvin
15 Jun 2022

A man jailed for stalking 121 women and tried justifying raping them may have more victims, police fear.

Vishaal Vijapura, 28, took his victims’ pictures from their social media profiles then published them with captions encouraging serious sexual violence against them.

His obsession became so much that he paid hundreds of pounds for online services to find their personal details, including home addresses, and added them to his posts.

He even wrote one post titled ‘why rape is better than sex’.

…He messaged many of his victims directly and struck up conversations – particularly of a sexual nature – making many of them feel uncomfortable.

He told one victim he would rape her at home address and film the assault so it would go viral. He told another woman he would leave her ‘completely unconscious’.

When he was blocked on one account, he would make a new identity and start messaging his target on another.

His behaviour came to light in January 2021 when he published a list of women’s names from all over England, along with an essay that tried to justify why they should be raped.

Vijapura has now been jailed for nearly three years and subject to a court order for five years.

(Link): Graduate hooked on violent porn terrified women with Instagram ‘rape list’ in stalking campaign

Excerpts:

Vishaal Vijapura pleaded guilty to seven counts of stalking and was sentenced on Tuesday to 32 months in prison

June 14, 2022
By Tristan Kirk

A porn-obsessed maths graduate posted a ‘rape list’ featuring more than 150 women on social media in a stalking campaign after he failed to find a girlfriend, a court heard.

Vishaal Vijapura, 28, sent unsolicited messages to a string of women on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, using graphic depictions of violent pornography from movies in the warped hope of finding love.

Continue reading “Graduate Man Who Was Unhappy Being Single, Frustrated He Couldn’t Get a Girlfriend, Hooked on Violent Porn, Terrified Women With Instagram ‘Rape List’ In Stalking Campaign”

I Woke From a Coma After Five Months To Find Out My Fiance’ Had Ghosted Me and Moved in With Someone Else, Woman Reveals

I Woke From a Coma After Five Months To Find Out My Fiance’ Had Ghosted Me and Moved in With Someone Else, Woman Reveals

And yet, even in 2022, there are some people who suggest that being married is necessary to feel or to be complete, or to be ethical, mature, or godly.

You can find someone who you believe is your “soul mate” and still end up being abused or let down by that person.

So these people out there pushing marriage as making people more happy, healthy, content, or whatever, than not being married, should stop promoting such bogus views.

I do relate to, and can sympathize with, the woman’s comments about her fiance’ ghosting her making it difficult for her to trust people any more.

I went through a situation or two in my life that were quite eye opening and made me see clearly for the first time how very selfish and self absorbed most people are, and it can be difficult to trust people once you see this.

(Link): Brie Duval wakes up from coma to find partner blocked her on social media

by Yaron Steinbuch

An Australian woman has revealed how her long-term boyfriend blocked her on social media and shacked up with another woman while she was in a coma after a devastating accident.

Perth native Brie Duval, 25, was living in Canada with her partner of four years when she fell headfirst from a parking garage after a night out with friends on Aug. 29, 2021, the UK’s Mirror reported.

Deval was rushed by helicopter to the University of Alberta Hospital, where she was placed on life support with a traumatic brain injury and multiple broken bones.

Continue reading “I Woke From a Coma After Five Months To Find Out My Fiance’ Had Ghosted Me and Moved in With Someone Else, Woman Reveals”

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

I don’t agree with all of this person’s red flags, but some of them may be worthwhile to keep in mind.

 (Link): “Immediately no”: Mental health expert shares red flags on dating profiles

Excerpts:

by C. Ferris
June 2, 2022

In a now-viral TikTok video, a mental health expert discussed what would cause her to not match with someone on a dating app.

Karli Kucko, LPC-A shares content about mental health on her TikTok and Instagram accounts @karli.k.counseling. She recently posted a video on her TikTok where it garnered more than 100,000 views. The video, which discussed seeing people making demands on their profile, was the first of several that touched on behaviors that would cause her to “swipe left.”

Viewers found these points helpful, and many shared what they considered to be red flags when they peruse dating apps themselves.

Good Morning America outlined a few tips for a strong dating profile, which include users posting good quality photos, writing “just enough” about themselves and being up-front with their intentions.

Matthew Hussey, a New York Times bestselling author and dating expert, told the outlet that there is a way to be open and honest while remaining positive.

“If you’re going to say you want something serious, frame it in a positive way rather than a negative one,” he said. “You don’t want to come across as bitter or jaded.”

In Kucko’s first video, she said something that would make her “swipe left” is seeing someone making demands on their profile. She noted that statements like “have to have, can’t do, must do,” were some examples of phrases that led to her not matching with someone.

Continue reading ““Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles”

Nutso Progressive Transactivists Actually Suggest That Biological Men Urinate Sitting Down and Biological Woman Smell Their Own Waste to Be Supportive of Trans Persons. Just NO.

Nutso Progressive Transactivists Actually Suggest That Biological Men Urinate Sitting Down and Biological Woman Smell Their Own Waste to Be Supportive of Trans Persons. Just NO.

I came across these bits of information as I was scrolling my Twitter time line (you can see the tweets embedded below).

We have biological women getting raped by biological men in women’s prisons now, because these Trans Activist A-holes and their progressive enablers are being pandered to at such a rate, that the safety, health,
and needs of actual girls and women are being undermined to cater to a bunch of narcissistic men who get hard-ons from wearing lip stick and skirts, men who claim to be women – so they are permitted into women’s only spaces now, such as women’s prisons.

Now, we also have asinine, petty, stupid, disgusting, insane progressive advice telling non-trans people to do stupid, gross, insipid things like (for biological men) urinate sitting down, and (for biological woman) to smell their own fecal matter – all as a (weird) form of solidarity with mentally disturbed, and/or narcissistic Trans Weirdos.

Hell to the No. Hell to the No.

Legalization of Homosexual Marriage

I remember a little over ten years ago when the cultural hot potato was the legalization of “gay marriage,” 🏳️‍🌈
I commented on a forum back then that a lot of homosexuals went from, in the 1980s and 1990s, saying they were just asking to be “tolerated” (or for their sexuality or sexual actions to be tolerated) to now (by around 2000 – 2010) they were expecting (and then, later, bitterly demanding) conservatives, Christians, and all non-homosexuals to not only tolerate homosexuality but to also AFFIRM, CELEBRATE, and VALIDATE their sexuality.

Several liberal commentators ripped my head off under that observation at that time and said to me back then, that no, homosexuals weren’t expecting or wanting my validation.

Yes, yes they were. It was plain as day that was part of the agenda. If you withheld your personal stamp of approval over homosexual marriage, then and now, some homosexuals (and their hetero “allies”) would seethe in rage. (Now, you may not get as much rage, but you’ll get a lot of insulting rhetoric.) bakeTheCake - Copy

We now see the Trans community behaving in the same way – you can see the whole “seething in rage” thing if you don’t give their “identity” and life style choices a stamp of approval. They cannot feel happy or at peace unless the entire culture celebrates and affirms their stance and life choices.

External Validation

If you go through life basing your sense of self esteem, worth, or identity upon external factors (such as other people’s validation or approval), you’re going to end up very disappointed or depressed, because more often than not, any external validation you receive, for whatever situation or life choice, is going to be un-even, unpredictable, unreliable, and fleeting.

Nobody, including me, gets 100%, consistent validation all day, every day from every one they meet, for their life choices, their physical appearance, their identity, or whatever else. That is an un-sustainable goal. You learn to live with that reality and move on in life.

I am not going to play along with this.

I am not going to run around validating and affirming persons, movements, or entire groups I do not agree with, especially when they are demanding that I participate in weird, questionable, or gross things like asking women to smell their own turds, or asking men to urinate sitting down.

(Link):  Encourage women to smell their poop to be more inclusive to Trans women

Excerpts:

transPooFlagSome women have a hole where their penis used to be, and that hole often shares microbiome with the colon—creating a distinct transitioning odor.

by Jamey Braunstein

In solidarity with Trans women, this month you can make a difference by putting your olfactory system to use – while going number #2!

Yes! It’s not a joke. We are sincerely asking all women to please spend more time smelling their poo during bathroom breaks, and to critically examine what many of our gender have to endure as part of the cost of bottom surgery.

Continue reading “Nutso Progressive Transactivists Actually Suggest That Biological Men Urinate Sitting Down and Biological Woman Smell Their Own Waste to Be Supportive of Trans Persons. Just NO.”

The BBC Changed A Woman’s Story About Being Raped So That The Pronouns In The Story Were in Line With the Perp’s Transgender Identity

The BBC Changed A Woman’s Story About Being Raped So That The Pronouns In The Story Were in Line With the Perp’s Transgender Identity

Stories like this one is one reason why, whenever leftists, progressives, or Democrats claim to be so concerned about sexism (and pitch fits about the appearance of sexism among Republicans and conservatives) I never take them seriously:

(Link):  BBC accused of altering alleged rape victim’s quote to avoid ‘misgendering’ transgender male attacker

June 1, 2022
by T. Hamilton

The woke BBC is being accused of outrageously altering an alleged rape victim’s quotes by replacing pronouns to be more inclusive in an effort to protect her transgender attacker from “misgendering.”

The Times of London broke the story that the British media outlet previously quoted a woman who claimed she was raped by a transgender male and then altered her words to be politically correct. Her quotes were part of a report from 2021 on lesbians who have been “coerced into sex with transgender women.”

The story was published on Oct. 26, 2021. It covered a lesbian campaign called “Get the L Out.” Gay women were candidly asked about their sexual relationships with transgender women.

Three women gave interviews to the BBC for the story. It was headlined, “We’re being pressured into sex by some trans women.” One of the women who was interviewed for the piece claimed she was raped during an encounter.

… “The woman referred to her alleged rapist as ‘him’ but insiders said that her words were changed to avoid ‘misgendering’ the abuser in an article on the corporation’s website,” the Times of London reported.

“The BBC article replaced every reference to ‘he’ or ‘him’ with ‘they’ or ‘them’. A source said the quote was the subject of heated debate prior to publication. Some journalists argued that the quote should remain intact, while others said it should reflect the trans woman’s preferred she/her pronouns,” the outlet noted.

Continue reading “The BBC Changed A Woman’s Story About Being Raped So That The Pronouns In The Story Were in Line With the Perp’s Transgender Identity”

Lia Thomas Is ‘Happy’ To Force Everyone Else To Deal With Transgender Narcissism by Kylee Zempel

Lia Thomas Is ‘Happy’ To Force Everyone Else To Deal With Transgender Narcissism by Kylee Zempel

(Link): Lia Thomas Is ‘Happy’ To Force Everyone Else To Deal With Transgender Narcissism

Excerpts:

BY: KYLEE ZEMPEL
JUNE 01, 2022

Lia Thomas and gender-bending allies say their delusional and norm-shattering behavior is fine because they’re happy, but that’s textbook narcissism, and we’ve enabled it far too long.

Transgender-identifying swimmer Lia Thomas — a man who claims to be a woman and recently dominated his NCAA female competitors — finally broke his silence with an interview on ABC’s “Good Morning America,” and here’s what he wants you to know: “I’m happy.”

… When ABC interviewer Juju Chang asked about his competitive advantage — the question Thomas’s teammates, opponents, and critics can’t get past — Thomas shrugged it off.

… “I also don’t need anybody’s permission to be myself and to do the sport that I love,” Thomas declared, adding later, “Trans people don’t transition for athletics. We transition to be happy and authentic and our true selves.”

The kicker for Thomas, which is obvious to the watching world, is that actually, yes, you do need permission to be yourself and play the sport you love when that self defies the laws of biology and that sport is a collegiate program designed for the very real, immutable category of “women.”

Any other student-athlete knows that if her “authentic self” is obese or jacked up on steroids, for instance, she will not get permission to play a collegiate sport, her sincere love for it notwithstanding. Where does the gender-bending left get the idea that they’re entitled to inclusion without permission?

Continue reading “Lia Thomas Is ‘Happy’ To Force Everyone Else To Deal With Transgender Narcissism by Kylee Zempel”

Working Millennial Moms Complain Their Husbands Treat Them Like Housewives

Working Millennial Moms Complain Their Husbands Treat Them Like Housewives

Another news piece pointing out that motherhood is not fun, relaxing, or rewarding – certainly not consistently. Nor is marriage.

(Link): Working millennial moms complain their husbands treat them like housewives

May 19, 2022
By Jeanette Settembre

… Millennial moms are opening up about how motherhood strikes a blow to their equitable marriages, where babies seem to transform their supposedly feminist husbands into old-school, hands-off, 1950’s-style dads.

Despite remaining outwardly supportive of their wives’ careers, these secret traditionalists want partners who do all the childcare, cooking and cleaning, the women say, expecting them to kick off from work and turn into June Cleaver from “Leave it to Beaver.”

Continue reading “Working Millennial Moms Complain Their Husbands Treat Them Like Housewives”

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

A link to this article, from a site and Twitter account called “Truth Over Tribe,” came through my Twitter feed today.

I don’t think I am following these guys; this was a suggestion by Twitter that appeared in my timeline. The “Truth Over Tribe” site says on their site that they are “too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals.”

Okay… I’m somewhat in the same place. I’m a conservative who occasionally disagrees with other conservatives, but I sure don’t agree with many positions of progressives.

After having skimmed over some articles on this site – the site owner and author seems to be a Patrick Miller – he seems to lean left of center.

I can tell he’s left of center from some of the commentary and language he’s used – for one, in the article below, he puts his Intersectional Feminism (a left wing concept) on full display by talking about how “self care” was really started by black people, white women love it, and these days, only white woman can (financially) afford it. (Though I didn’t quote those portions of his article below, but they are over on his site.)

(Does Miller realize that left wing darling BLM (Black Lives Matter) is misleading people financially or that they spend more on transgenderism than on race related issues?)

At any rate, let’s get on to the article on this site that alarmed me, and I will provide a few excerpts, and then I will comment on them to explain why I feel this piece goes horribly wrong:

(Link):  Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness

Excerpts:

by Patrick Miller

“To be happy, you need to leave toxic people behind.” The preaching Peloton instructor continued, “I’m talking about people who take more than they give. People who don’t care about your dreams. People whose selfishness impedes your ability to do what you want to do.”

 Oh crap. She just described my two-year-old. I guess it’s time to cut him off.

This is the gospel of self-care. The notion that the most important person in my life is me, and anyone who impedes my happiness is an existential threat to my emotional and physical well-being. …

… What’s the Religion of Self Care?

Continue reading “An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful”

The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms (2022 Study)

The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms (2022 Study)

Will male Christian Gender Complementarians care about this study or even pay attention to it? Nope, probably not, because they’re still stuck in Gender Stereotype Land, where only men want sex (and supposedly “need” it – but sex is not a need), where women only want their “emotional needs” met and would just like their husband to pour them the occasional bubble bath.

Any time I read about studies like this, it usually comes down to 1) Male Entitlement and 2) Internalized Stereotypes held by women that what a woman wants in the sack does not matter / women aren’t “supposed” to like sex.

(Link): The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms

That link above will take you to this page:

(Link): Orgasm gap: The insidious reason women have fewer orgasms than men

Excerpts:

It’s the clitoris, stupid!

May 13, 2022

KEY TAKEAWAYS

    • Heterosexual men have far more orgasms during partnered sex than heterosexual women, resulting in a significant pleasure disparity.
    • New research suggests that the explanation for the gap is simple: Men don’t take the time to stimulate women’s clitorises. The clitoris is the primary anatomical source of female sexual pleasure.
    • The reasons for this inattention are more complicated. It seems that cultural norms around gender place the focus on men’s pleasure and vaginal sex while downplaying women’s desire for their own pleasure.

There exists a significant “orgasm gap” between heterosexual women and heterosexual men. A 2005 study found that 39% of women usually or always experience an orgasm during partnered sex compared with 91% of men.

A more recent survey conducted in 2018 discovered that the gap had narrowed, but a sizable 30-point divide remained.

So what will it take for women to reach “pleasure parity” with men? Continue reading “The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms (2022 Study)”

Man Gets Five Years In Prison For Trying to Kill Ex-Girlfriend’s Baby by Drugging Her With an Abortifacient

Man Gets Five Years In Prison For Trying to Kill Ex-Girlfriend’s Baby by Drugging Her With an Abortifacient

Who wants to date or be married when you may end up with a deviant like this guy? So gross.

(Link): Man Gets Five Years In Prison For Trying to Kill Ex-Girlfriend’s Baby by Drugging Her With an Abortifacient

Excerpts:

By Michael Gryboski, Mainline Church Editor
May 3, 2022

A man who attempted to kill his pregnant girlfriend’s baby by slipping abortion-inducing drugs into her bottled water was sentenced to five years in prison for first-degree intentional homicide.

Marathon County Circuit Judge LaMont Jacobson of Wisconsin sentenced 36-year-old Jeffrey Smith last Friday to five years in prison for the crime. Smith’s sentence was reduced by 689 days for time served, according to the Wausau Daily Herald. The judge also sentenced him to 15 years of supervision after he’s released from prison.

In October 2017, a woman who remained unnamed during the legal proceedings informed Smith that she was pregnant with his child. Smith gave her an ultimatum to either abort the baby or put it up for adoption.

According to court documents, Smith was adamant that she abort the baby, and, in January 2018, he visited the woman in an effort to slip a drug into her drink that he expected would cause her to have a miscarriage.

Continue reading “Man Gets Five Years In Prison For Trying to Kill Ex-Girlfriend’s Baby by Drugging Her With an Abortifacient”

Police Search for Incel Johnny Young for Hate Crimes Against Women

Police Search for Incel Johnny Young for Hate Crimes Against Women

(Link):  Costa Mesa police ask for help locating suspect accused of harassing, pepper-spraying women on video

May 7, 2022

Costa Mesa police on Friday continued searching for a man who allegedly recorded himself pepper-spraying two women outside of a nightclub at the Triangle Square retail center.

Authorities have identified the suspect as 25-year-old Johnny Young.

Young, a self-described involuntary celibate (incel), is wanted in connection to several hate crimes,” the Costa Mesa Police Department said in a statement.

“Incel is commonly defined as: A person who regards himself or herself as being involuntarily celibate and typically expresses extreme resentment and hostility towards those who are sexually active,” the Police Department statement said.

According to the news release, video footage captured two separate incidents in which Young harassed women with vulgar language and then used a chemical to spray them. The confrontations led to Young “assaulting several people,” authorities said.

Police investigators said Young has a history of targeting and stalking women outside of nightclubs, bars, and fitness centers. He is believed to be living out of his white and green-colored van, which has no license plates.

Continue reading “Police Search for Incel Johnny Young for Hate Crimes Against Women”