Preacher Matt Chandler To Take Leave of Absence Following Inappropriate Online Behavior

Preacher Matt Chandler To Take Leave of Absence Following Inappropriate Online Behavior

This post has been edited since publication to add additional content.


Chandler is the same guy who tried to shame and pressure a woman into staying married to her perverted, pedophile husband, he sort of mocked Christians with doubts by dismissing their position as being a sexy trend, and he’s given some very questionable advice to Christian single adults over the age of 30 who’d like to be married but who’ve not found Mr. or Ms. Right yet, and who are considering marrying outside the faith.

A lot of online chatter I’ve seen about this indicates many people do believe that there is something “sexual” about Chandler’s banter with a married woman (that’s right, both Chandler and the woman he was direct messaging are both married to other people), despite the church’s statement to the contrary.

Take note that both persons in this situation are MARRIED – very often in secular and Christian culture, single adults (especially women) are regarded as threats to married people, who are actively seeking to sleep with married persons. Quite often, it’s the opposite: married adults seek out affairs with singles or with other married people.

Married Christians need to maybe impose some kind of “Billy Graham Rule” of married people shouldn’t be alone with other married people.

This incident just goes to show yet again that men lack good judgement, lack self control, and cannot be trusted in leadership positions in churches; churches should get rid of the “man only” rule and put women in charge going forward. 😘

Contrary to the usual conservative rhetoric: marriage does not make a person more godly, mature, ethical, or loving than being single. Let this be example one thousand on my blog so far!

Marriage apparently did not prevent Chandler from making a questionable action towards another married person (this is assuming there was something sexual or otherwise “off” with his texts to the woman).

From the reports, things are so vague, it’s hard to tell exactly what happened.

The Billy Graham Rule is stupid, so if this ends up being a harmless case of a married church guy making small talk with a married lady, and he had no ulterior motives, I don’t have a problem with that, except for the church’s over-reaction to this situation.

That is to say, unlike 99% of married (usually Christian) people out there, I don’t think platonic friendship between a married person and another married person (or a married person and a single person) is impossible or inappropriate.

So, if this ends up being an over-reaction to a platonic, private chit chat between two adults (who happen to be married), I will eye roll so hard my eyeballs will fall out of my head.

But it’s hard to say at this point exactly what is going on.

(Link): Matt Chandler To Take Leave of Absence Following Inappropriate Online Behavior

Excerpts:

by Dale Chamberlin
August 2022

On Sunday (August 28), The Village Church (TVC) announced that Matt Chandler would be taking a leave of absence from preaching and teaching following an inappropriate direct messaging relationship with a woman who is not his wife.

While not romantic or sexual, Chandler described the messaging relationship as being characterized by “familiarity” and “coarse and foolish joking.”

Chandler further described his online behavior as “unguarded and unwise,” and his leave of absence is both “disciplinary and developmental.” He further expressed his agreement with and submission to the elder board’s decision, which came after an independent, third-party investigation.

Continue reading “Preacher Matt Chandler To Take Leave of Absence Following Inappropriate Online Behavior”

Cop Named Detective of the Year, Who Is a Married Father, Only Gets a Misdemeanor Charge After Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Someone He Thought Was a 14- Year- Old Girl

Cop Named Detective of the Year, Who Is a Married Father, Only Gets a Misdemeanor Charge After Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Someone He Thought Was a 14- Year- Old Girl

This is a news story about a married guy who has a child of his own who was caught trying to engage in sex acts with someone he believed to be a teen girl – marriage does not make a person  more ethical, godly, loving, responsible, or moral.

Married people are destroying marriage all on their own, with no help from progressives.

That deviants like this man get married goes to show that common Christian teachings about marriage – at least in the content I saw when growing up years ago – is false; one does not have to become perfect, or improve themselves in some way, before God will grant the person a spouse or allow them to get married.

If God is permitting perverts like this man to get married, rest assured, he’s more than likely not with-holding a spouse from you over far lesser sins or mistakes.

This also belies the common misperception by Christians that married sex is so great and mind-blowing that married people won’t commit sexual sin. Despite being married, this married guy was trying to find a way to have sex with a 14 year old girl… obviously, being married doesn’t make a person immune from sexual sin.

(Link): California ‘Detective of the Year’ busted for sending sexually explicit messages in child sex sting

A veteran police officer who was named “Detective of the Year” in 2019 was charged with exchanging sexually explicit messages with someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl.

(Link): ‘Detective of the year’ accused of sending graphic messages to girl he believed was 14

(Link): One-Time ‘Detective Of The Year’ Allegedly Sent Sexual Messages To Woman He Thought Was A Child

(Link): California cop named ‘Detective of the Year’ only gets a misdemeanor charge after sending sexually explicit messages to someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl

August 3, 2022
by Melissa Koenig

A California cop who was once heralded as a Detective of the Year is now facing a misdemeanor charge after he allegedly sexted someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl.

Gregory Daniel Beaumarchais, 43, a married father of one, faces a maximum sentence of one year in prison on a misdemeanor charge of annoying or molesting a victim believed to be under the age of 18.

He will also have to register as a sex offender if convicted.

Authorities say the Santa Ana officer exchanged sexually explicit messages with someone posing as a 14-year-old girl on social media from December 2021 through January 2022.

Continue reading “Cop Named Detective of the Year, Who Is a Married Father, Only Gets a Misdemeanor Charge After Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Someone He Thought Was a 14- Year- Old Girl”

Man on Honeymoon Busted in Prostitution Sting

Man on Honeymoon Busted in Prostitution Sting

This is very sad. I feel so bad for his wife, especially if she’s old school like me, takes marriage seriously, and believes the guy you marry should be stand-up, have good morals, etc. Can you imagine you thought you had married “Mr. Right,” only for him to betray you and for him to turn out to be a pervert?

What is the point in getting married, if the guy you marry ends up being willing to cheat on you on your honeymoon?

I know the guy cheating would be bad at any point in the marriage, but there seems something especially under-handed and cruel about having an affair on one’s honeymoon.

News stories like this betray older, and even some contemporary, conservative propaganda about marriage – such as, marriage will make a person more loving, ethical, mature and godly; a person has to reach some state of perfection or godliness before God will allow a person to marry.

Marriage certainly did not make the man in this news story any more loving or moral, and God sure was not with-holding marriage from this scum bucket.

I think news stories like this go to show un-seriously most people take sex, as though sex is nothing. Some people will just put out whenever, with whomever. Very sad.

(Link): Florida man arrested for calling sex worker on his honeymoon 

by I. Vincent
August 27, 2022

A Florida man was arrested on his honeymoon after he answered an ad for a prostitute, according to a local report.

Paul Turovsky, 34, left his new bride sleeping in their hotel room in Tampa and went out to meet a prostitute he had connected with online, authorities said.

When the self-employed businessman arrived at the Hyatt Hotel, he was placed in handcuffs, caught up in a sting operation by local police to crackdown on sex trafficking.

(Link): Sheriff: Man on honeymoon among 176 arrested in prostitution sting

August 25, 2022

HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, Fla. — The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office announced that its newly formed Human Trafficking Squad cut a couple’s honeymoon short after the husband was arrested in a prostitution bust.

… “Sometimes the demand was so overwhelming that we had to go purchase a second, sometimes a third hotel room, because they would all show up at once,” Chronister told WFLA, noting the “disturbing” number of men arrested.

(Link): Florida Man Friday: Caught In a Prostitution Sting on His Honeymoon (paywall)

(Link):  Man on Honeymoon Busted in Prostitution Sting

by A. Morris
August 25, 2022

A couple’s honeymoon was cut short this summer after the husband left his new wife to solicit a prostitute, authorities in Florida said.

The suspect, a 34-year-old male, was among the 176 people arrested for alleged sex crimes following a monthslong prostitution sting in Hillsborough County, according to Sheriff Chad Chronister.

During his honeymoon, the man answered an ad from an undercover detective posing as a prostitute, Chronister said Thursday at a news conference.

Continue reading “Man on Honeymoon Busted in Prostitution Sting”

Church Pastor Cited for Failure to Register as a Sex Offender – He’s Married, and Still Working as Pastor

Church Pastor Cited for Failure to Register as a Sex Offender – He’s Married, and Still Working as  Pastor

This pastor is married – as most are, because most churches discriminate against single adults.

Does marriage make a person more godly, ethical, responsible, mature, or loving? Nope, it sure does not!

Does marriage make society better? Nope. Does the Bible ever present marriage, parenthood, or the Nuclear Family as the solution for sin? – Nope – only saving faith in Jesus.

(Link): NH man working as pastor in Mass. charged for failing to register as sex offender

Steven Newman allegedly worked at By Faith Fellowship Church in Georgetown.

By Ross Cristantiello
July 17, 2022

A New Hampshire man who worked as a pastor in Massachusetts was arraigned last week on charges that he did not register as a sex offender in the state. Steven Newman, who is registered as a sex offender in New Hampshire, was arraigned July 13 in Haverhill District Court, The Eagle-Tribune reported.

(Link): Pastor charged with not registering as sex offender in Georgetown

(Link): Church pastor cited for failure to register as a sex offender

Excerpts:

July 17, 2022
by Mike LaBella

HAVERHILL — A New Hampshire man who police said was working as a pastor at a Georgetown church owned by his wife has been charged with failure to register as a sex offender in Massachusetts.

Steven Newman, 56, of 687 Main St., Fremont, New Hampshire, was arraigned July 13 in Haverhill District Court on the charge.

Police said Newman is registered in New Hampshire as a “Tier 3” sex offender, the highest level of sex offender listed in New Hampshire, police said, and that Newman should have registered in Massachusetts, as he was employed in this state.

Continue reading “Church Pastor Cited for Failure to Register as a Sex Offender – He’s Married, and Still Working as Pastor”

Long Island Man Angel Tacuri Gets 20 Years for  Sexually Abusing Eight Children at Wife’s Day Care

Long Island Man Angel Tacuri Gets 20 Years for  Sexually Abusing Eight Children at Wife’s Day Care

Does being a parent or a spouse automatically make a person more ethical, godly, responsible, or mature? No.

It sure does not… though some conservatives who are obsessed with marriage and the nuclear family and shaming anyone who is single and childless would try to convince one otherwise.

(Link): LI man Angel Tacuri gets 20 years for sexually abusing 8 children at wife’s day care

June 16, 2022
By Larry Celona and  David Propper

A Long Island man was slapped with a 20-year prison term after he admitted to sexually abusing children at his wife’s at-home day care.

Angel Tacuri, 53, pleaded guilty to sexually abusing eight kids from ages 3 to 10 and was sentenced Thursday, according to the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office.

The perverted behavior took place for five years starting in 2010 inside his wife’s unlicensed business.

District Attorney Raymond Tierney assailed the creepy convict for the way he “traumatized” innocent kids.

“This defendant took the innocence of small children and traumatized them in the process to satisfy his depraved desires and that is something they will never have back,” Tierney said in a statement.

Continue reading “Long Island Man Angel Tacuri Gets 20 Years for  Sexually Abusing Eight Children at Wife’s Day Care”

‘It Makes You Sick’: Ohio Grandparents Accused of ‘Unimaginable’ Torture of Stepson

‘It Makes You Sick’: Ohio Grandparents Accused of ‘Unimaginable’ Torture of Stepson

But Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox, and 99% of other secular and Christian conservatives tell me that being married and a parent makes a person more godly, mature, responsible and ethical! I guess not.

Another example.

(Link): ‘It Makes You Sick’: Ohio Grandparents Accused of ‘Unimaginable’ Torture of Stepson

May 31, 2022
By Michael Ruiz, Fox News

A couple of Ohio grandparents are behind bars after allegedly taking part in cruel punishments their daughter has been accused of imposing on her stepson, a juvenile boy, who police say was so mistreated he developed “atrophy in his legs” and PTSD.

“If there’s a victim of this type of abuse, it’s tragic,” Delhi Township Police Lt. Joe Macaluso told Fox News Digital. “And when you have somebody that’s vulnerable, like a child or the elderly, it makes you sick.”

Armin and Susan Rodriguez, 71 and 68, were both being held at the Hamilton County jail on child endangerment charges.

Macaluso said the extent of the abuse made the case “hard to look into.”

Punishments allegedly went on for years and involved forcing the boy to stand alone in a room, beating him and restricting his food, the victim, his juvenile brother and other relatives told investigators, according to Macaluso.

Continue reading “‘It Makes You Sick’: Ohio Grandparents Accused of ‘Unimaginable’ Torture of Stepson”

Ex-Paramedic, Who Is A Married Father of Four, Sentenced for Sexually Assaulting Injured Women and Child Patients in Ambulance

Ex-Paramedic, Who Is A Married Father of Four, Sentenced for Sexually Assaulting Injured Women and Child Patients in Ambulance

News stories like this infuriate me. This guy should have every bone in his body broken and then shot in the face (by law enforcement. I have no intention of causing this guy harm myself).

The article says the drivers were present at each assault, but they claim they didn’t know – if they did know, they should also be shot in their faces (by law enforcement. I have no intention of causing these guys harm myself).

It’s bad enough when people rape people, but to rape them when they’re already vulnerable (ie, physically injured, or in a coma in a hospital bed, or emotionally vulnerable, etc) is beyond reprehensible, beyond demonic.

And I’ve read of similar situations, where men employed as police officers or firemen, who, when a woman runs up to them for help, to report she was just raped, these men rape her there on the spot!

I’ve read of male nurses in hospitals who were discovered to have raped women in comas. Months ago, I saw a news headline about a woman who was raped on the operating table in a hospital in India by either a male nurse or a doctor.

It’s disgusting. These people who sexually prey on vulnerable people should be shoved feet first, alive, in woodchippers.

This guy is a piece of sh💩t. Anyone who knew and did nothing to intervene is also 💩

For years (and I’m a conservative who is not anti-nuclear family or anti-parenthood), I’ve listened to secular and religious conservatives who try to defend or promote marriage by depicting singleness or being childless as awful. These types of conservatives off and on insist that marriage (or parenthood) are necessary to make a person godly, loving, responsible, or ethical.

As you can see from news stories like the one below, marriage and parenthood did not make this man caring, loving, or ethical.

(Link):  Monster: Paramedic Gets 40 Years for Raping Victims in Back of Ambulance

Excerpts:

by Kevin Downey Jr
June 23, 2022

Serial sexual predator and father of four James Lavelle Walley was sentenced to 40 years in prison for sexually assaulting six women and two children in an ambulance as they were being taken to the hospital. The attacks took place from 2016 to 2019.

… Walley pathetically attempted to apologize to several of his victims who showed up in court for the sentencing. He wept as he claimed he had been attacked by fellow prisoners in the hoosegow and had his jaw broken.

One of the victims was a pregnant woman who tried to fight Walley off. She lost her baby. Another woman had attempted suicide and was being whisked to the hospital. She was in and out of consciousness as Walley assaulted her.

The ambulance driver suggested a nurse do a rape test kit on one of the victims who complained she had been assaulted. The nurse stated that she was pressured not to do the test, though it is unclear who pressured her. She did the test anyway and found Walley’s DNA inside of the victim.

(Link): 2 women demand a rape kit, exposing a ‘brazen’ Coast paramedic in many ambulance sex assaults 

June 21, 2022

A former Mississippi Coast paramedic who pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting six patients in the back of ambulances was sentenced to decades in prison on Monday.

James Lavelle Walley, 57, pleaded guilty in May to three counts of sexual battery and two counts of touching a child for lustful purposes before Jackson County Circuit Judge Robert Krebs. He also admitted to fondling two children ages 6 and 7 when the crimes occurred.

Several of his victims were in the courtroom to hear the verdict. Walley, a married father of four from Greene County, read from a prepared statement at times.

(Link): Mississippi ex-paramedic sentenced for sexually assaulting patients in ambulance

June 20, 2022
by AP

The former paramedic will serve 40 years in prison without parole

A former Mississippi paramedic has been sentenced to 40 years in prison without parole, weeks after he pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting patients in ambulances as they were being taken to hospitals.

Continue reading “Ex-Paramedic, Who Is A Married Father of Four, Sentenced for Sexually Assaulting Injured Women and Child Patients in Ambulance”

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles

Here is a link to the piece:

(Link): Married or single, everyone is greedy by Esther Wickham

Already, I have to object to the headline alone.

The author, Wickham, acknowledges within the essay that (Link): studies that show that married people are more likely to be selfish than adult singles, to not do things like volunteer at charities or help others, than are single adults.

Studies Show That It’s Married Persons, Not Singles, Who are Self Absorbed

Yet, Wickham tries to depict single adults as being “greedy” too.

No, I’m sorry, no. Studies show the opposite.

This isn’t to say that every single adult single is giving and self-less, but as a group, studies have shown that no, singles, as a group, are not “greedy.”

Conservatives: Old Strategy to Promote Marriage By Depicting Single Adults as Being Selfish, Greedy, or Maladjusted

Also, for decades now, it’s been a staple in conservative Christian circles, in various denominations, that all tend to be “hyper-” pro- marriage and “hyper” pro- nuclear family, to bolster the case for marriage by bashing singleness, and this has increased in the last several years, as marriage rates are on the decline.

Christians (and many conservative think tanks that are hyper pro-nuclear family and pro-marriage) think the way to “sell” and to market marriage to single adults is to make single adults think that singleness is terrible, singleness is greedy and selfishness, and that (Link): singles will supposedly be happier and healthier if they just hurry up and marry already.

(I happen to be a conservative myself, and I am not opposed to marriage or to parenthood, but I am in opposition to these essays by conservatives that bash singleness or single adults, or that exaggerate the benefits of marriage and the nuclear family.)

So one way many conservatives, both secular and Christian, tend to try to pressure or convince singles to marry, or to defend marriage itself, is to portray adult singles as being “selfish,” defective, immature, or as (Link): “ugly losers”.

See Also:

(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

(Link):  Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

Secular and  Christian conservatives also play the same game with childfree or childless people, women in particular:

Women who are single and/or childless past the age of 25 are often falsely portrayed by conservatives as intentionally choosing to be single and childless (when the reality is, plenty would’ve like to have been married but couldn’t meet an eligible mate), and are further inaccurately depicted in Christian blogs, radio shows, and so on as hating all men, hating babies, or as having chosen career over marriage.

Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has gone so far as (Link): to shame single Christian women for being single off and on over the years, in various blog posts or speaking engagements he’s given, and (Link): has suggested that childless adults are not “fully human.”

Gender Imbalance In Conservative Religious Circles Keeps Women Single

A big reason why a lot of religious women remain single into their 30s and older is that there has been a gender imbalance going on for decades now: there are more single women than single men in many houses of worship.

That is, there are plenty of single women who’d like to marry, but there are no compatible single men for them to marry. They’re not all deliberately choosing to opt out of marriage.

More here:

(Link):  What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue) 

(Link): It’s Not Your Imagination, Single Women: There Literally Aren’t Enough Men Out There – Re: Man Shortage – Follow Up Interview 

(Link): Some Adult Singles Have No Choice But to Delay Marriage Because They Are Too Busy Acting As Caretakers to Elderly Family

(Link): Married to the Job: How a Long-Hours Working Culture Keeps People Single and Lonely by S. Jaffee

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30

(Link):  How the Dating Scene Became Stacked Against Women– via CT, by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link):  Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

I have articles and studies on this blog explaining that there has been a gender imbalance among Mormons and conservative Jews for years now, and this is also the case for conservative Christians.

Some Christians have been waking up to the fact that many Christian single women who’d like to marry aren’t marrying due to lack of suitable male partners,
so we get idiot Christian sociologists such as Mark Regnerus arguing in his articles that Christian women should lower their mate selection criteria:
he actually says if a Christian single woman is opposed to marrying a known pornography addict, that she should ditch that criteria and go ahead and marry a known porn addict.

More on that here:

(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

The Christians who are aware of the lack of potential male mates for single women are actually asking Christian women to abandon Christian sexual ethics or their own personal convictions, all to get married to a man, any man will do, so desperate are these Christian pundits to guilt trip and pressure women into marrying because marriage rates have fallen. It’s disgusting.

The Christian ‘Equally Yoked’ Rule and “Just Have Faith and Wait” Advice Keeps Christian Single Women Single Indefinitely

Christian women especially are brainwashed by evangelical and Baptist Christian sermons and Christian literature to believe in something called the “equally yoked rule,” which states that a Christian single adult should only marry another Christian.

I was raised Southern Baptist (Christian), and I definitely was taught the “equally yoked” rule in dating and marriage sermons and Christian dating advice books when younger.

I was also taught by Christians to expect that if I prayed and trusted God to send me a husband, and if I lived a godly lifestyle, had faith, and attended church regularly, that God would provide me with a Christian husband, most likely at a church.

I followed all the Christian advice about how to live life, that taught me if I just followed it, God would bless me with a husband – but although I followed all that Christian advice, had faith, went to church, and lived a clean lifestyle (and later even tried Christian dating sites), I have never married to this day, and I am now a 50-something.

I wrote more about that here:

(Link):  Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

Related to that:

(Link): Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

(Link):  Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife

What happened over the course of my life is that every church I attended (I moved around growing up) there were no single men I attended at the churches I went to.

The only men in attendance at Baptist churches I went to when I was in my 20s and 30s were married men, or 82 year old widowed men, or a smattering of really weird, socially awkward, obese and smelly, socially mal-adjusted, creepy, 30- to- 50 something year old single men (but mostly, the ones I kept running into were men who were married or else way too old for me).

If I had married in my 20s, I was obviously wanting to marry a man in his 20s, not an 82 year old man.

Christian Women Brainwashed to be Pathologically Giving, Empathetic (Non-Selfish) – Codependency for Women is Enshrined Via Incorrect Biblical Interpretations and the Gender Complementarian Doctrine

I spent years being very codependent (which I am (Link): no longer).

My mother and the complementarian Baptist churches I was raised in presented “biblical womanhood” as being near identical to codependency, which means I was pathologically non-greedy, and un-selfish for over 35 years.

It wasn’t until my late 40s, due to life experience, and having read books and articles by psychologists about codependency, that I started, finally, in a healthy way, began prioritizing my own needs, dreams, and goals in life, instead of feeling obligated to run around rescuing other people and helping them meet their goals in life at the expense of my goals and dreams.

I spent over 35 years being non-greedy as an un-married adult – not greedy, but non-greedy.

Yes, Married People Tend to Run Self Absorbed, Because Unlike Singles, They Can Afford to Do So

And yes, anecdotally, (research studies aside), and I know that the author, Wickham, may not want to hear this, but the reality is, I can tell you that many married couples are, yes, “insular,” which makes them “greedy.”

Married couples turn to each other to get their emotional needs met, as well as companionship needs met.

Married couples do not like to hang out with single adults… but they will do selfish, self serving things such as phone their single adult friend when their spouse goes out of town on a business trip or deployment for weeks or months, because they get lonely without their spouse around.

The moment that married friend’s spouse returns, though, they go back to basically ignoring you, their single friend, because they were just “using” you so long as their spouse was out of town and they felt lonely.

I’ve had single adult women friends who began to ignore me 99% of the time the moment they got a boyfriend or got married – and then they stopped staying in touch with me (unless their spouse left for a business trip, as I just explained).

More here:

(Link): Women Who Dump Women Friends As Soon As They Get A Spouse or Boyfriend (Letter to Advice Columnist)

And to all you married people out there that keep turning to your spouse and get lazy at developing your relationships outside of your marriage: your spouse is going to die one day, perhaps before you.

I am constantly seeing “married with young children” couples complain about how exhausting it is to be a parent.

This is particularly true of the mothers who write (Link): these cloying essays on various sites begging their adult single women friends to run over and play “free babysitter” for them, or do housework for them, so they can take a nap.

I see many extremist, pro-Family Christians write articles going back decades and books advising single adults (especially women) that it’s our duty or obligation, as a single woman, to act as free maid service or free baby sitters to the married mothers out there.

I never, ever see Christians writing books or articles telling married couples with kids or no to provide help or assistance to their single and childless adult friends. This “help” only runs one way, and (Link): never in the direction of the single and childless adults.

After having re-read the essay by Wickham, I don’t think she has a full picture of why some remain single, and it’s not fully because “the institutions that traditionally provided couples with support” are on the wane.

The very first and crucial hurdle many women face, especially conservative religious women, is just finding a suitable, single conservative religious man to start with – such men are not in churches.

Most religious women are not going to try to find a man in a night club or bar. Dating sites are filled with perverts and weirdos, including self-professing Christian ones.

I will be returning to commenting more on Wickham’s essay below these excerpts:

Excerpts from the essay:

(Link): Married or single, everyone is greedy by Esther Wickham

Marriage — it’s an institution that a majority of people desire for themselves but one that struggles to flourish in a society that prioritizes individualism and scorns the institutions that traditionally provided couples with support. No wonder, then, that some have decided they’re better off without it.

In a recent interview with the Atlantic, Dr. Bella DePaulo, 68, who worked as a psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, admitted she’s spent her whole life as a single person with no desire for marriage.

… Yet DePaulo pointed out that many of the married couples who are supposed to be happier than her have begun to disconnect from their communities and isolate themselves. Their marriage, she said, becomes greedy.

…. Research suggests DePaulo is, in some ways, correct. A New York Times article “found that married respondents were significantly less likely than the unmarried to contact or see their parents and siblings. … The married are also less frequently spent time with or helped friends and neighbors. … More than 80% of never-married individuals said they’d called or written to their parents in the last month, compared with just 60% of married people. Likewise, around 70% of unmarried people but only 30% of the married had socialized with friends in the last month.”

However, DePaulo overstated her case. Married people inevitably have different priorities than those who are single. They are often focused on raising children and building a home, both of which are time-intensive responsibilities.

Moreover, it is normal for married couples to spend what free time they do have on each other.

… To be sure, married couples should make their communities a priority and resist the temptation to isolate themselves. But to say that most married couples are greedy for spending too much time with their spouses and not enough with family and friends is to misunderstand the very purpose of marriage.

Surely in a society that overemphasizes “self-love,” couples who prioritize each other should be viewed favorably. There’s nothing wrong with a “greedy marriage,” nor is there anything wrong with singlehood — so long as both lifestyles are lived in moderation, of course.
— end excerpts —-

DePaulo was right on the money and was not “over stating” her case.

History of Marriage in the USA

Contrary to what this author writes, no, marriage was not “always that way.”

I’ve read other research and studies that explain that in the past, in the United States, couples did not spend as much time with each other as they’ve been doing the last 50 or so years – they would invest more time with extended family and so on than they do now.

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles”

Hunter Biden’s Search History Reveals His Obsession with Porn and Sex Fantasies Including ’18yrs old,’ ‘Lonely Widow’ and “MILF Crack Cocaine Porn,’ He Uploaded His OWN Amateur Videos 

Hunter Biden’s Search History Reveals His Obsession with Porn and Sex Fantasies Including ’18yrs old,’ ‘Lonely Widow’ and “MILF Crack Cocaine Porn,’ He Uploaded His OWN Amateur Videos 

Hunter Biden is so gross.

The photos and (blurred by Daily Mail) videos on the page below are very gross.

It makes staying single look more and more appealing by the moment. The kind of guy I wanted to marry  (had I married) would NOT be like Hunter Biden at all.

But idiot marriage-idolaters such as Christian sociologist Mark Regnerus would not doubt try to shame single adult women such as myself to marry a known pervert like Hunter Biden, because the marriage-pushers hate singleness that much.

Biden was married at one point. Obviously – and contrary to what excessive-marriage pushers such as but not limited to Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox, etc teach – marriage doesn’t make a man more godly, mature, or responsible. It didn’t do squat for Hunter Biden, who’s a crack headed man-whore.

(Link): Hunter’s search history reveals his obsession with porn and sex fantasies including ’18yrs old,’ ‘lonely widow’ and ‘MILF crack cocaine porn,’ he uploaded his OWN amateur videos and texted Pornhub link to phone listed in his contacts as ‘Dad’

By Josh Boswell
June 1, 2022

Hunter Biden’s search history reveals an obsession with porn including incest fantasies, ’18yrs old’, ‘lonely widow’ porn, ‘MILF crack cocaine porn’, as well as instructions on how to hack a lover’s cell phone and repeated google searches of himself.

The list of searches covers just six days in March 2019 before he broke his laptop, took it to be repaired a Delaware shop, and then abandoned it. But it is packed full of revealing and disturbing websites.

Dozens of videos on the laptop also reveal Hunter’s penchant for filming himself having sex with prostitutes and posting the home movies on his own Pornhub account under the username ‘RHEast’.

The president’s son took care not to show his face in his uploaded videos.

Of the 281 websites captured in his browsing history over six days, 98 were pornographic.

Continue reading “Hunter Biden’s Search History Reveals His Obsession with Porn and Sex Fantasies Including ’18yrs old,’ ‘Lonely Widow’ and “MILF Crack Cocaine Porn,’ He Uploaded His OWN Amateur Videos “

Married Doctor Assaulted Rape Victim, Pregnant Women, And Four Teens Under the Age of 16 During 34 Year Campaign

Married Doctor Assaulted Rape Victim, Pregnant Women, And Four Teens Under the Age of 16 During 34 Year Campaign

This is one of the few times I’ve seen a news outlet mention that the sex deviant in question is MARRIED. News outlets seem to seldom mention in the headline of the story if the rapist or child molester is married – only if he’s single!

As I’ve said many times before on this blog, and will keep pointing out: my fellow conservatives, who make too much out of natalism, parenthood, marriage, and The Family (no, I am not anti-Family or anti-marriage etc), keep arguing in their tweets, blog posts, podcasts, news appearances, and books that marriage (or parenthood) makes people more godly, responsible, or ethical. Anecdotally, no, marriage and parenthood sure do not make people more godly, loving, mature, ethical.

I’ve never married, and I’ve never given birth, but I am not a depraved sicko raping people.

The Bible does not make any claims or promises in it that being married or a parent will make a person more godly, ethical, mature, or responsible, but so many Christians hold this position.

I don’t want to get into a lot of details, but this story below is familiar, because something similar happened to me when I was a younger teenager.

When I was a teenager, my mother took me to see a male medical doctor over a physical issue that had NOTHING to do with my sexuality, sex, or my genitals – but the doctor who examined me, while my Mom sat nearby in the same room – tried to molest me in front of her. (I am not sure if this doctor was concerned that my mother may see him trying to grope me or not.)

There was no legitimate reason for the doctor I was visiting that day to be making references about my body the way he did, or for him to let his hands “roam” down to my genital area, or to ask me to unzip my pants… but he did all of that.

When I was growing up, some of the Christian attitudes I saw in books or overheard in sermons was this idea that God won’t let you get married and send you a spouse until you reach a level of godliness or perfection.

Given that dirtbags like the doctor in the story below got married, that view is bogus. This guy obviously wasn’t perfect or godly, since he went on to sexually assault numerous patients.

(Link):  Doctor who sexually abused 47 female patients jailed for 12 years

May 24, 2022
by Rachel Guy

A shamed doctor who was convicted of sex crimes against 47 female patients has been jailed for 12 years.

Krishna Singh, 72, abused his position to prey on his victims over 35 years.

His targets included a rape victim, teenagers and pregnant women.

The offences mainly occurred at medical practices in North Lanarkshire, but also at a hospital A&E department, a police station as well as during visits to patients’ homes.

Victims were subjected to kissing, groping, inappropriate examinations and comments during appointments.

(Link): Married GP, 72, who sexually abused 47 women and girls is jailed for 12 years: Doctor assaulted rape victim, pregnant women, and four teenagers under the age of 16 during 34 year campaign of abuse

By Danyal Hussain
May 25, 2022

A retired doctor convicted of sex offences against 47 women over more than three decades has been jailed for 12 years.

Krishna Singh, 72, was convicted of 54 charges, mainly of indecent and sexual assault, following a trial at the High Court in Glasgow which ended last month.

The offences happened between January 1984 and 2018, mainly at a medical practice in North Lanarkshire but also at a police office and a hospital accident and emergency department.

The married GP, who was awarded an MBE for medical services, also targeted girls under 16 and pregnant women who went to his surgery in Coatbridge, Lanarkshire.

Continue reading “Married Doctor Assaulted Rape Victim, Pregnant Women, And Four Teens Under the Age of 16 During 34 Year Campaign”

Modern Couples Looking to Start a Family Are Turning to IVF – Because They Are Too Busy for Sex

Modern Couples Looking to Start a Family Are Turning to IVF – Because They Are Too Busy for Sex

But so many of Christians told me, assured me, when I was growing up – in their magazine articles, books, sermons, and TV shows – that married sex is GREAT and REGULAR! I guess not, judging on news stories like the one below!

Look at how all those reassurances and promises I heard from Christians as I as growing up ended up being false.

(Link): Modern couples looking to start a family are turning to IVF… because they are too busy for sex, experts reveal

Excerpts:

by Victoria Allen
May 2022

Modern couples wanting a baby are turning to IVF – not because they are infertile but because they are too busy to have sex, according to experts.

Couples are advised to try to have sex around every three days to optimise their chances of conceiving.

But the pressure of being ‘always available’, checking emails out of hours and finishing to-do lists has left many people with flagging libidos and little time for passion.

The spare time they do have is often spent watching Netflix, experts fear.

The number of British couples turning to fertility treatment they do not really need simply because they do not have sex often enough to conceive naturally is thought to run into hundreds.

Continue reading “Modern Couples Looking to Start a Family Are Turning to IVF – Because They Are Too Busy for Sex”

Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers – Husband Also Had Hitman Kill the Man’s Pet Pug Dogs, Beat Dogs to Death With a Hammer

Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers – Husband Also Had Hitman Kill the Man’s Pet Pug Dogs, Beat Dogs to Death With a Hammer

Basically, a lot of complementarian Christian men feel the same way this man, Edward Heck, does: they feel entitled to sex from their wives.

The erroneous biblical interpretations that lead men (and some women) to support “gender complementarianism” lead to these types of views about marriage, sex, and women.

I can see Christian persons like Lori Alexander (of “The Transformed Wife”), Mark Driscoll, John MacArthur, John Piper, Owen Strachan, Denny Burk, Douglas Wilson, and many members of “CBMW” defending this man’s actions and blaming the (murdered) wife.

(We also have problems with unmarried men, of whatever religious beliefs, who feel entitled to sex from any woman, and they go on murderous rampages when women refuse to date or to have sex with them).

The hired hit man not only killed the man’s wife, but one article also says that he “brutally murdered” the husband’s (who hired the hit man) pet dogs by beating them to death with a hammer – one article says that killing the dogs was also part of the plan by the husband – so the husband approved of the dogs being killed by the hit man.

I despise animal abusers, and yes, he and the husband should pay for killing the wife (obviously), but that both men also killed dogs means their death by the state should be very, very extra painful – perhaps shoving them alive, awake, into a wood chipper could be one possible solution to that.

This news story also goes to contradict the dating advice articles I used to see by Christians years ago that conveyed the notion that a single adult has to achieve some level of perfection or godliness or else God won’t send the person a spouse. If dirt bags like this loser can get married, anyone can – obviously if there is a deity, He is not expecting moral perfection or some other quality to be achieved before He permits people to marry.

Also note that contrary to Christian and secular conservative pro-marriage groups and persons – such as Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox, and Focus On the Family – that marriage does not make people more godly, loving, responsible, ethical, or loving.

Aaaannnnd… married sex is not a guarantee for great or frequent sex, as so many Christian sexual purity material insists. I am not against sexual purity, but I do think a lot of Christians have “over-promised” in this area.

(Link): Pa. man admits hiring hit man to kill his sleeping wife, is sentenced to life in prison

(Link): Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers

May 2, 2022
By Genevieve Gluck

A Pennsylvania husband who hired a hitman through a porn site to kill his wife, allegedly because she wasn’t sexually available enough, is now claiming “diminished mental capacity” at his trial for her murder.

Edward Heck, 56, paid Kenneth Wayne Smith $10,000 to kill his wife, Sonja Rowe-Heck, in August of 2018.

Smith and Heck met on Motherless, a site which hosts extreme fetish pornography and snuff videos. Smith had posted in the comment section to a video that he had a fetish for killing, and Heck replied, “How about my wife?”

(Link): According to local news, the two men had been conversing on social media for about 18 months before the planned murder.

Text messages reviewed by authorities included those in which Heck said he fantasized about someone raping and strangling his wife. In messages to Smith, Heck stated that he hated his wife, called her offensive names, and complained about the fact the two did not share a bedroom.

On the day of the murder, Heck brought Smith to his home and helped him hide in the cellar. While there, Smith brutally murdered Heck’s two dogs. At about 1:50 a.m. on August 16, Heck texted Smith saying, “the time has come.”

Continue reading “Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers – Husband Also Had Hitman Kill the Man’s Pet Pug Dogs, Beat Dogs to Death With a Hammer”