views and thoughts on topics, especially ones pertaining to christianity – with an emphasis on how most christians either ignore or discriminate against unmarried christians – and how christians have turned marriage and parenting into IDOLS and how there is no true support for sexual purity, virginity, or celibacy among christians – this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don't debate dissenters ————-
Category: may december age difference relationships are gross disgusting
Vince and Wesleigh may have been born 30 years apart, but that hasn’t stopped them from falling in love. The couple, who live in Little Rock, Arkansas, just welcomed their first child together and plan to stay together for the rest of their lives.
Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances
Obviously, the murder is horrific – but I also note that the husband is 51 years old, the wife was 29. Here is what I’ve said before about such (Link): May December relationships?
Any way, if you’re a single woman like me who had wanted to marry, but still find yourself single, such news stories show that being married in and of itself is not a great thing if your husband is an abusive loser, like this guy in this article.
Let this also go to show (yet again) that marriage does not make people more godly, mature, or responsible, as so many Marriage-Idolating, Anti-Singles Christians and conservative think tanks like to argue.
Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears
One headline I saw for this story (via another site) said the girlfriend claimed this was part of a “sex game.”
I’m trying to feel sorry for this guy, but … I’m on record for despising (Link): May-December Relationships, but my heart just cannot manufacture the cares. Dude should be dating chicks closer to his own age.
Stories like this one sure do make singleness and celibacy look better by comparison.
This (Link): photo (Mirror UK site image link) was used to illustrate one of the articles, though I don’t think it’s the guy in the news story.
Roy Moore Allegations Prompt Reflections on Fundamentalist Culture in Which Some Christian Men Date Teens By J. Zauzmer
This article unfortunately (Link): quotes Brad Wilcox. The only positive thing I can say about Wilcox’s contribution to this article: at least he was not defending teen girls dating or marrying 30 year old men.
….That courtship of underage girls is especially common in conservative religious communities.
“We should probably talk about how there is a segment of evangelicalism and home-school culture where the only thing Roy Moore did wrong was initiating sexual contact outside of marriage. 14 year old girls courting adult men isn’t entirely uncommon,” Kathryn Brightbill, who works for the Coalition for Responsible Home Education, tweeted Friday, prompting a flurry of responses from other people who also had watched teenagers date much older Christian men.
…The culture of courting that Easter and Brightbill described is one limited mostly to fundamentalist religious communities, including certain Christian groups and those of other religions, such as some Orthodox Jewish or Mormon communities.
For most evangelical Christians, relationships between older men and teenage girls are viewed as wholly inappropriate.
One of the things I found interesting about this page is that it affirms something I said on a much older post of mine –
Often times, men ages 35 and older say they prefer dating much younger women (as in, 20 somethings) because 20 year old women supposedly have less baggage. As I explained in my last post, that is pure hog-wash. Younger women generally have MORE BAGGAGE than older women.
Older women have gained life experience, have gained self esteem over the years, know what they want, won’t permit themselves to be treated disrespectfully by men, won’t put up with crap – not from men, not from bosses, not from friends or whomever.
Most women over the age of 35 or 40 have worked through their “baggage,” whether by seeing a therapist, reading books by psychologists, or just living through pain. Younger women are not there yet.
Note how all three of these younger men say that they prefer dating older women, one reason of which, is because older women “lack drama,” which is another way of saying older women lack baggage.
Man A: I like how mature they can be when handling serious situations, but also how playful and youthful they are. My last girlfriend and I would sit down and listen to all my favorite music, and it was a real bonding experience I’d never had before. You don’t expect someone who is so much older to have so much in common with you or the desire to connect with you the way some older women do.
Man B: Older women have their life together. And with 15 years more experience, they’re more interesting to talk to.
Man C: There’s less drama with older women and they are much less likely to be dependent on you. A strong, independent woman is sexy.
The ad gives a brief description of Brooks, including a photo with the disclaimer, “I look just like my picture, except I now have grey hair.” The “About You” section states applicants “Will be attractive being height and weight proportional.” It also goes on to say that applicants should be prepared to have children with Brooks and also be a stay-at- home mom.
He said his father has been ill and wants a grandson to carry on the family name.Brooks compared his father to Larry David’s character in the TV series “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” saying he “thinks he does the right thing, and then it all blows up in his face.”He said he’d never buy an ad like this himself, but “it’s worth a shot. Can’t hurt.”
Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal
And there are some whiny, cry-baby men who think THEY have single life harder – news flash, (Link): you don’t have it worse, men: men usually are not murdered by jealous women over turning down dates or proposals.
While I’d say that the root of this case involves a lot of misogyny and patriarchy, I think perhaps a small factor is an over-emphasis upon marriage.
Perhaps if cultures like this one were taught that being single and/or celibate are perfectly fine lifestyles to live, we wouldn’t see people feel so pressured to marry, and they would realize they can control their sexual urges. Therefore, women would not be killed for turning down dates, requests for sex, or marriage proposals.
You don’t have to be married, or have sex, to enjoy life or be happy and content. (I am not knocking a desire to be married, you realize, only saying if it does not happen for you, you will survive – and realize you can enjoy life without marriage or sex.)
Dollars to doughnuts that everyone in this news story was Muslim.
If so, I’d like to say again I see striking parallels between Islamic attitudes and behaviors towards women as I do from some gender complementarian or Quiverfull Christian groups, as well as sexist men and MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) groups – they all treat women like second-class citizens to be controlled by men and are considered to have value only in- so- far as they breed like rabbits and/or provide men with sex.
Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire
This news story is another indicator of how the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is bunk: I’d rather marry an Atheist guy who would NOT burn me alive than marry (and be “equally yoked” to) a Christian preacher who would hire his MISTRESS to set me on fire.
(This article says this MARRIED Christian also stole money from his elderly mother. What a P.O.S.)
Also note how being married does NOT, contra what Christians teach, make a person more loving, responsible, godly, or mature.
And why is a 33 year old woman having an affair with a 71 year old man? GROSS.
(Yes, it’s (Link): totally gross). I guess she was just using him for his money – this article says he bought her a new car and paid her bills.
You quite obviously do not have to be godly or perfect to merit a spouse, as this jerk creep guy was married. (A lot of Christians teach that you have to earn a spouse by being a good person or by being godly or by being more “whatever.”)
That so many losers, deviants, and creeps get spouses, (even so many losers who profess belief in Christ), it goes to show that no, you do not have to achieve some level of perfection or godliness before God will send you a spouse.
Also note that both cheaters in this story are MARRIED. Christians often depict un -married women as being harlots who set out to bed married men (usually, though not always, this is done under the “Billy Graham Rule”), when in fact, it’s usually married people who have affairs with other married people.
How mind-blowing is married Christian sex (something that Christian assert) that this married Christian man was apparently seeking nooky with another woman (I presume he was boinking the other lady)?
A Baptist pastor from Missouri has been sentenced to 50 years in prison last week for hiring his mistress and her husband to burn his house down with his wife inside of it, reports the Riverfront Times.
How Sorry Do We Feel for the Lonesome Single Bachelors of New York? by T. Moore (never married men in their 40s talk about being tired of being single)
I am not surprised to see some of these 40 something men, who have never married, pine for a 20 something women – some claiming it’s so they can “start families.”
Hey, sexist, ageist entitled never-married male buffoons: women in their 30s and 40s menstruate and can have babies too, if that’s your thing. See the links below on this page under “Related Posts” for more on that.
But I’d also have to point out that many 20 something women have no desire to marry men over five to ten years their senior. Most women are grossed out by dudes who are ten or more years their senior “hitting on them.”
I’m in my 40s and have no desire to marry or date a 60 something or 70 something dude, yet sometimes, these jokers contact me on dating sites, in spite of the fact my age cap cuts off after about 6 or 7 years my age.
Scott Slattery, 35-year-old communications and marketing consultant
Slattery wants to be a dad but realizes old age is encroaching. “I still want to take care of [my kids] through their entire lives, so I don’t want to be old.”
There are more: Paul Gollash, the 40-year-old who realized in his late thirties that he was “fed up with being single” and so he suddenly had to hit up all the sorts of places he’d never have gone before to do the dreaded mingling, like cocktail parties and work events.
Or Alan Yang, the co-creator of the Aziz Ansari Netflix show Master of None who admitted that it wasn’t until his sister had a baby that it struck him that he might want a family of his own.
Or there’s 44-year-old Paul Morris, who doesn’t want kids, but doesn’t want to be single forever, either. He was out at a bar at 9 p.m. on a Sunday night—trying to be “out there,” and wondering if this was what 44 really looks like.
….So, truth be told, it’s easy to mock these guys—careerists out working hard, having fun, seemingly oblivious to the notion that time ticks along for everyone.
It’s, yes, amusing to see men grappling mid-life with an insight that was tucked into an invisible pamphlet issued at birth to every woman I know. It read: Better lock something down before it’s too late and your looks are all dried up. Women have spent decades fighting this cultural notion of a female expiration date, only to find out that men have one too?
Woman raised in the Bible Belt by religious parents says she ended up in TWO abusive relationships – because being banned from dating made her ‘ignorant’ about men
(A link to a woman’s testimony about how Christian or religious dating advice as a kid hurt her as an adult is linked to farther below in this post.)
As I’ve written of before on my blog, much Christian teaching about dating, gender roles, and marriage – especially if espoused by Christians who believe in and teach something called “gender complementarianism” – can often leave marriage-minded singles single far longer than they wish, or perhaps permanently.
Christian teaching on dating, while intended to help singles date “safely” (i.e., to prevent pre-marital sex) ironically erects obstacles for singles who’d like to get married.
One problem of Christian teaching about dating and singleness is to teach singles, to teach men and women, to be afraid of each other; never spend time alone with an opposite-gender person, lest it lead to fornication.
Well, the only way to marry is to first spend time with an opposite-gender person (assuming you are hetero), via dating.
If you are a lady, in order to discover if you are compatible with a guy, you need to spend time alone with him on dates, especially if you are an adult. (Group dating is for teens, not people over the age of 21.)
This woman’s testimony I link to farther down this page is yet another example of this situation, of how damaging the usual Christian dating advice and gender complementarianism is to singles, especially women.
The things she was taught growing up by her religious parents – things about dating, modesty, gender roles, etc – caused her relationship problems later in life.
Christian Gender Complementarianism infantilizes women, causes them to be naive, and teaches them it is wrong, unladylike, or selfish to have boundaries and to be assertive.
As you can see in this article, this was certainly a problem for the woman author, Lorens.
When she was confronted with vulgar, strange male clients at her job in a store, she did not know how to assert herself and tell them to shove off – or even if she could do so in the first place.
I think the young lady in the story – who was about 17 years of age when the “relationship” (as in sex and dating) started with her biological father – bears a tiny bit less of the responsibility in this than her father, who was about 35 or 36 when this began. But she should still know better, so I’m not giving her a pass.
I think the girl is an idiot, in addition to being a sexual deviant.
Due to immaturity, insecurity, admitted sexual and relationship confusion on her part, and lack of life experience, she is being made a fool of.
Her father, who was mid 30s when this began, is exploiting her. I do not even care if, from the girl’s view, that this is “consensual”.
It is so damn easy for anyone over the age of 25 to emotionally manipulate someone who is under age 25 – and make that double if the older person is age 35, 45, or older. Older adults can manipulate and scam the hell out of you if you are below 25, and you won’t even notice it at the time.
I don’t think this girl understands she cannot trust her father. She thinks he is more trustworthy to date precisely because he is her dad (you can read her rationale below).
That her father is willing to have sex with his own biological daughter indicates he is a predator, not a trustworthy father. A real, caring father is NOT going to step over this line and have sexual dealings with his own kid.
But she confuses things, to thinking, well, this is the man who gave me Barbie dolls and teddy bears when I was a girl, ergo, it’s safer for me to enter a romantic relationship with him than with a guy I’m not related to.
She has it all wrong. If her dad was truly a stand up guy, he would never, ever have touched her sexually, and it is irrelevant if she agreed to it or not.
When asked about these issues in the interview, she says no worries, her mother taught her self defense, like how to kick a man in the crotch.
She is so effing naive… she is being EMOTIONALLY (as well as sexually) manipulated and exploited and does not even recognize it; she equates being abused only with PHYSICAL abuse. Her father just wants in her pants, like any horny boy her own age who she’s not related to, and she’s permitting it. She doesn’t even see what is happening.
As someone on another site astutely observed, sex before marriage is now considered even more passe’ since this girl says in her interview about the incest that she and her biological father began having sex and THEN afterwards began dating.
Yes. So. People are having sex first and THEN dating and THEN marrying.
One of the interesting or amusing things I see in some articles that are critical of her relationship (and under comments about the story of the man who is married to a woman, but he claims to have sex with a horse regularly), are the number of pro-homosexuality persons who get upset by this.
By the way, in the interview with the man who has sex with a horse, he says that his horse consents to the sex. He claims that. Go read the article, don’t ask me to explain or defend it. I don’t agree that a horse can give consent to having sex with a person.
It angers homosexuality advocates that the men who want to have sex with horses, or their own daughters, use the same, exact claims and arguments that the pro homosexual lobby does, such as, “I was born this way,” and, “as long as its consensual, it’s okay,” and, “who are you to judge.”
As for the idiot who left a comment under the Science of Us article: that the Bible mentions incidents of incest does not mean that God approves of incest. Duh.
I also think this story goes to once again show that the Christian propaganda that being married or a parent makes a person more mature and godly is false. Being married or a parent is not an indication of someone’s morals or ethics or maturity. Here you have a man who has been married, has a biological daughter, and is having sex with her.
Also, if, as Christians maintain, married sex is so “mind blowing,” why did the father in this story divorce the mother and end up having sex with his own daughter? If the “mind blowing” propaganda were true, would this man not have been sexually satisfied with his wife, (or later, with the adult girlfriend he had) – why is he having sex with his biological daughter?
Before proceeding reading this, you may want to have a trash can handy so you can throw up.
…Consensual incest between fathers and their daughters remains the least reported and perhaps the most taboo sort of GSA relationship. Keith Pullman, who runs a marriage equality blog, has personally talked to over 20 GSA couples and notes that he’s only had a few father-daughter couples speak out, speculating that many of them fear that others will assume the daughter must have been abused in childhood (it should be said that when these unions lead to children, those children can face potentially serious difficulties as a result of the genetic implications of incest, even if some online communities downplay these risks).Here, an 18-year-old woman from the Great Lakes region describes her romantic relationship of almost two years with the biological father she met after 12 years of estrangement.
What was your family like when you were growing up?
My parents had me when they were 18 — they met in high school and I was conceived on prom night. They were serious for about six months but broke up while my mom was still pregnant with me. My dad wasn’t there when I was born. [Her dad had hardly any contact with her as she grew up because her mother would not permit it]
…. Can you remember much from your time with your dad when you were little?
I have some memories. He spoiled me rotten. I had this giant storage tote of Barbie dolls and I had my own Mary-Kate and Ashley bedroom. It was a little girl’s dream. We’d sit in the yard blowing bubbles together, and he took me to the zoo where he bought me a stuffed animal that I kept until I was 16. I ended up washing it and stupidly put it in the dryer, which melted all its fur. I remember he gave me a miniature tea set. I still have it.
…Do you think it triggered the abandonment you felt from your own dad?
Yeah. I think I was subconsciously replaying what I’d been through.
…Did you date when you were a teenager?
I didn’t really have a social life. I stayed home a lot because my mom didn’t trust me, and most of the kids my age were hooked on heroin, so it was hard to find friends. I lived in such a small town where there was nothing to do. In fifth grade I dated a boy for two years.
But one night he got drunk and had sex with a girl who ended up pregnant. It f-cked everything up. I told him he had to go and be with this girl and take care of the kid.
…Did you have sex with that boyfriend?
No. I had a girlfriend in middle school and that was the most major sexual experience I’d ever had. But she was very religious and every time we were intimate she would sob and read me verses out of the Bible.
It made me feel like I’d hurt her. The second time we did it she cried and said we’d done something wrong and she was worried her grandmother would find out.
I was done after that. No more crying, and no more Bible transcripts. She had me in tears because I felt so guilty.
How do you define your sexuality? I’ve always identified as bisexual.
…So can you remember what it was like the moment you and your dad were reunited? Was there an instant attraction?
It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He’s so good-looking! And then I was like, What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I’m meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.
Was there a single moment you realized that you were sexually and romantically attracted to your dad? After I had stayed with him for about five days.
What happened? He was living with his girlfriend. On the first night he slept on the couch and I slept on the floor, just to make sure that I was okay.
…That night we were play-wrestling in the room I was going to sleep in and I bit him. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top and after I bit him I could see goose bumps pop up from his toes to his shoulders. Then he pinched my inner thigh and I got goose bumps.We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other. We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity.
Did you tell him you were a virgin? Yes. I told him I wanted him to be the first person I made love to. We talked about how it could be awkward if it didn’t end up working out. He also said that if I didn’t feel comfortable at any point I should tell him.