Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

This is going to be one of those posts that meanders all over the place.

I’m not really sure where to start.

I’ve been watching a cable TV show called “My 600 LB Life” for over a year now. Aspects of content I see on this show remind me of some of the subjects I blog about on here.

I’m not sure exactly why I watch this show, but I find it riveting, and sometimes horrifying. It’s a reality program. Each show features a real-life person who is 600 or more pounds over-weight.

I do not watch the show to make fun of or laugh at the obese people.

I watch, I suppose, because I am interested in their life stories and what drove them to cope with life’s problems by over-eating to the point they become morbidly obese.

I also tune in to learn medical information about what happens to a body once it gets up to 600 pounds.

I learned from this show that not only does the body get a lot of fat on it (obviously), and the heart has a harder time pumping, but obese people can and do develop all sorts of secondary issues, such as painful bumps, scales, and swelling on their legs (which are referred to as, or the result of, things such as (Link): Cellulitis and (Link): Lymphedema).

The majority of the time, I feel empathy for the obese people on this show.

I am wishing them all the best and hoping they lose the weight and recover and get over whatever childhood horror and pain led them to over-eat (most cases of this show consist of someone who turned to food as comfort after they were neglected, molested, or abused in childhood).

There have been a few cases on this show, such as Steve Assanti, Chuck, and James K., where I have little to no empathy at all, because the person is whiny, ungrateful, abusive, rude, or incredibly self-absorbed.

Continue reading “Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show”

The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness (Study)

The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness

(Link):   The biggest health threat facing middle-aged men is loneliness

(Link):   Middle-Aged Men Need More Friends

Men and friendship. By middle age, many have too little of it. And it’s a threat to men’s health.

(Link):   The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.

Excerpts:

As men grow older, they tend to let their friendships lapse. But there’s still time to do something about it.

…The editor told me there was all sorts of evidence out there about how men, as they age, let their close friendships lapse, and that that fact can cause all sorts of problems and have a terrible impact on their health.

…Vivek Murthy, the surgeon general of the United States, has said many times in recent years that the most prevalent health issue in the country is not cancer or heart disease or obesity. It is isolation.

I TURNED 40 IN MAY. I have a wife and two young boys.

..During the week, much of my waking life revolves around work. Or getting ready for work. Or driving to work. Or driving home from work. Or texting my wife to tell her I’m going to be late getting home from work.

Much of everything else revolves around my kids.

…I rarely see those people anywhere outside those environments, because when everything adds up, I have left almost no time for friends. I have structured myself into being a loser.

“YOU SHOULD USE THIS story suggestion as a call to do something about it.”

That’s Dr. Richard S. Schwartz, a Cambridge psychiatrist, and I had reached out to him because he and his wife, Dr. Jacqueline Olds, literally wrote the book on this topic, The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century.

…“Since my wife and I have written about loneliness and social isolation, we see a fair number of people for whom this is a big problem,” Schwartz continues.

Continue reading “The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness (Study)”

Frustrated Husband Chops Off His Genitals With A Knife After His Wife Hadn’t Had Sex With Him For A DECADE

Frustrated Husband Chops Off His Genitals With A Knife After His Wife Hadn’t Had Sex With Him For A DECADE

Am I the only one who’s heard of the concept of masturbation? If your wife isn’t doing it for you, you can do it for yourself, if you know what I mean.

The article says every time this guy asked for sex, it was when he was drunk, and understandably, his wife was not interested in “getting it on” when he was drunk.

I guess getting married did not guarantee this guy a steady diet of sex, which runs contrary to what Christians tell you – that if you reserve sex until marriage, the sex will be recurrent and great.

(Link): Frustrated husband chops off his genitals with a knife after his wife hadn’t had sex with him for a DECADE

  • Ghasi Ram, 37, cut off his penis after his advances were rejected
  • His wife, Manjhri Devi, said he was regularly drunk and never listened to her
  • The couple have been married for 18 years and have a daughter and two sons
  • It happened in Uttar Pradesh in northern India 

Related Posts:

(Link):  Lonely Life of Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, the Man with the World’s Longest Penis

(Link):  Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link):  Man undergoing minor surgery given vasectomy by mistake

(Link): Husband Forgets How to Have Sex After Botched Cancer Surgery

(Link): Spiritual leader allegedly manipulated 400 men into removing testicles to be ‘closer to God’

(Link):  Ohio Preacher Asked Men if they Performed Oral Sex on Spouses, Asked Males if they Had Large Penises, Asked to Look at their Penises, Asked One Actor if He Shaved His Pubic Hair, Encouraged Women Congregants to Get Abortions, Males to Get Vasectomies / Another Blow to “Be Equally Yoked” Christian Teachings

CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

Oh no. Just look at the CDC being a bunch of slut shamers!

How dare the CDC point out there are any benefits to sexually abstaining – because this just ruins some of the liberal, left wing, secular feminist talking points and probably gets the Anti-Purity Culture Crusaders upset (note: I do agree there are some problems with Purity Culture teachings, but unlike most of those who rant against it, I don’t think the Bible teaches that God is a-ok with pre-marital sex.)

(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers

BY BRANDON SHOWALTER , CP REPORTER

Dec 6, 2016 | 9:06 AM
A new Centers for Disease Control study examines teenage health behaviors in connection to their self-reported sexual activity and shows those who remain abstinent are much healthier on many fronts than their sexually active peers.
The (Link): report [which is a PDF document NOT an HTML one], titled “Sexual Identity, Sexual Contacts, and Health-Related Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9-12, United States and Selected Sites,” showcased the results from a 2015 survey that monitored several categories of health-related behaviors like tobacco usage, drug and alcohol use, sexual habits, unhealthy dietary behaviors, and behaviors that contribute to unintentional injuries and violence.The report concludes “that students who had no sexual contact have a much lower prevalance of most health-risk behaviors compared with students” who had sexual contact…..With regard to smoking, teenage virgins are 3,300 percent less likely to smoke daily than their peers who are sexually involved with someone of the opposite sex, Stanton computed from the report’s data.Teen virgins are 9,500 percent less likely to smoke daily than their peers who are sexually involved with someone of the same sex or in a bisexual relationship, he added.

Continue reading “CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)”

Conservative Christians Anxious Over Declining Clout (news article)

Conservative Christians Anxious Over Declining Clout

I first saw this article Tweeted out by Janet Mefferd, who happens to be a conservative Christian. I happen to like her and respect her, although I don’t always see eye to eye with her on every single topic.

She Tweeted a link to this article (hosted on a Fox news site) and didn’t care for it, because she feels that the author is trying to make conservative Christians look like nuts, loons, or alarmists.

I differ with her a little bit here. I think the main point of the article is right on the money.

I was a conservative Christian since youth, I’m in my 40s now. I’m only very barely holding on to the Christian faith anymore (I am strongly questioning it lately), and I am now more moderate than a hard-right winger as I used to be (not that I was ever a total wing nut, though).

Anyway, my point is, I grew up in this culture.

And yes, conservative Christians do in fact become scared, unsettled, or angry when they see culture shifting away from Judeo-Christian values and beliefs to a more secular stance. The article is quite correct in that.

I have seen conservative Christians on various news shows, Christian shows, and social media screaming, worrying, complaining, or crying about how the nation is going after Christians now, how they are upset that the nation is turning its back on God, how church membership is declining, yada yada yada.

Continue reading “Conservative Christians Anxious Over Declining Clout (news article)”

Jezebel Site and xoJane Site: Pot Meet Kettle – On Supporting All Women’s Voices

Jezebel Site and xoJane Site: Pot Meet Kettle – On Supporting All Women’s Voices

I saw this paragraph or so in (Link): an article on Jezebel’s site (by S. Edwards; title: “xoJane Publishes Terrible Article By a Woman Who’s Glad Her Friend Died, Then Deletes Her Byline“):

  • It’s a well-known fact that outrageous confessionals—the kind that populate xoJane’s section, It Happened to Me — garner traffic. Outrage, disgust and anger are the stuff of going viral (a phrase that conjures up disease as much as anything else). Yet xoJane seems to consistently cross an unspoken line, confusing any woman’s opinion as one inherently worth publishing, no matter the opinion, or its costs.

Continue reading “Jezebel Site and xoJane Site: Pot Meet Kettle – On Supporting All Women’s Voices”

Ingrid Lyne, 40 Year Old, Murdered and Decapitated by Man She Met on Dating Site

Ingrid Lyne, 40 Year Old, Murdered and Decapitated by Man She Met on Dating Site

The original Twitter headline for this in one Tweet (chosen by Daily Beast), described the woman in question as a “Young Mom.” Please (link): click here to see why I find that rather annoying.

Anyway, I glanced at this report earlier today. It looks as though this divorced mother, who was about 40 years old, met some guy via a dating site, they went out, and he killed her and decapitated her.

I’m pretty sure one story I saw about this said that this woman met the guy using a dating site. I’ll see if I can find other news stories which mention how they met.

(Link):  Mom was dismembered in own home after online date
by AP

  • April 13, 2016
  • SEATTLE — A woman who authorities say was slain and dismembered in her suburban home and whose remains were then placed in a Seattle recycling bin was a beloved mother of three as well as a sister and friend, her family says.
  • …Charlton [the murderer] has a criminal history spanning six states and his parents had sought a restraining order against him in 2006, saying he had taken the movie “Hannibal” — about a serial killer — from a shelf and told his mother she should watch it and “beware.”
  • Charlton, 37, was arrested Monday after police said remains believed to be Lyne’s were found over the weekend in a homeowner’s recycling bin. A head, arm with a hand, lower leg and foot were recovered, court documents state.
  • Lyne, 40, was reported missing from her Renton home on Saturday morning after her ex-husband arrived with their children and she wasn’t home.

Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

Excerpts:

  • March 8, 2016
  • For Kim Jackson, staying single into her 50s wasn’t a “big holy decision.” She dated through her 20s, but never met the right person.
  • “I had some pressure from friends and family for quite a while—now I’m so old, I guess they gave up,” said Jackson, now 58.
  • The percentage of unmarried adults in America has been growing since the 1970s. Today, almost half of U.S. adults are either divorced, widowed, or never married. But much church activity revolves around couples and families.
  • Jackson doesn’t begrudge the church its focus on families, but more could be done to make singles feel comfortable, she said.  Sunday school class names like “Pairs and Spares” or “Fish Out of Water” make singles feel like they don’t have a place in the church.

Continue reading “Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell”

The Marginalization of the Average Joe and Practice of Selective Compassion by Christian and Secular Americans

The Marginalization of the Average Joe and Practice of Selective Compassion by Christian and Secular Americans

I think conservative writer Ann Coulter’s editorial about Christians who shuffle off to assist ebola patients in Africa – which got her all sorts of vitriol by both left and right wingers, Christians and Non Christians – has been proven right.

I first wrote about that in another post or two:

(Link): Ann Coulter’s Article Hits Home — Literally, by S. Harris – And: further thoughts on U.S. Christian Priorities and Reverse Racism

(Link): Strawman Argument: “You’re Creating a False Dichotomy” – No, I’m Not (Re: Coulter editorial and U.S. Christians aiding foreigners)

After American, caucasian movie actor Robin Williams died from suicide a few days ago, on the one hand, there was, yes, a lot of sympathy and sadness expressed for him and his family online in the days that followed, as it should be.

But there were also some very insulting, unsympathetic views published, and at that, based on William’s skin color or his mental health problems, not only by guys like Bill McNorris and Christian Matt Walsh, but by atheist writer P Z Myers.

As far as I can tell, the Bible does not adhere to the concept of “privilege” as believed by liberals. The American progressives harping on “privilege” causes them to refuse to show care and concern for the groups they believe to be in power.

Jesus Christ taught that people’s sins comes from their hearts (from within), not from their environment, and he did not endorse the view that because you or your group has been systematically mistreated or oppressed at the hands of another group, that this excuses your sin, or makes it acceptable for you to hate your oppressor, or for you to refuse to show compassion to that group.

In Jesus’ day, ancient Israel was ruled first and foremost by the ancient Romans, and on a lesser level, by the religious ruling class (the priests and Pharisees).

A lot of American liberals will say it’s impossible for an American woman to be considered sexist, or for female dislike of men to be considered sexist, because men in American society hold all the power. They will say that because whites held all the power in the USA, that one cannot consider a black person’s prejudices against whites a form of racism.

Then we also get into the identity politics and hate crime laws, where liberals believe that someone should receive a harsher, or specific charge of hate, for, say, mugging someone in a certain group that they consider unprivileged.

For example, a crime that is motivated by hatred of skin color, where a white guy punches a black guy in the face, is supposed to be worse than, say, a white guy punching another white guy. A guy murdering someone who happens to be homosexual is supposed to be a hate crime, but the same act is not considered a hate crime if a homosexual or heterosexual murders a heterosexual guy.

I have never understood these positions, because, for one reason of a few, it doesn’t square with the Bible.

Jesus never once taught the Jews of his day that it’s okay for them to hate the Romans, nor did he excuse their dislike of the Romans, on the premise that the Romans held all the “privilege” or “power.”

Continue reading “The Marginalization of the Average Joe and Practice of Selective Compassion by Christian and Secular Americans”

How Laypersons Can Minister to Depressed / Suicidal People

How Laypersons Can Minister to Depressed / Suicidal People

This is a follow up to my previous post,

(Link): A Response to Blogger Matt Walsh Regarding Depression

Some of the advice I give here in regards to depressed or suicidal people can also be applied to other situations, not just depressed or suicidal friends.

Parts of this advice can be applicable to family or friends you have who are in mourning, friends who have a physical illness, or ones who are worried because they just got laid off from their job and don’t know how they’re going to pay their rent, or friends who were divorced a month ago after 15 years of marriage and they are heartbroken.

Regardless of the reason of their sorrow, worry, or fear, a lot of this advice can help them as well.

In his post about the suicide of actor Robin Williams, Christian blogger Matt Walsh focused on what one should SAY to a depressed or suicidal person.

Walsh also seems to think making arguments – based on logic – can pull a depressed person back from going through with suicide.

Cold, hard facts and logic, appeals to reason and rationality aren’t going to make much of an impact in discouraging someone from taking his or her own life. (I explain why in a little more detail in the last post.)

The area of emphasis is wrong.

One should not be stewing or pondering over what to SAY to a depressed, suicidal person (or someone who is in mourning) – for ultimately, there’s not much one can say to someone in that much pain – the key is what one DOES for a depressed or suicidal person.

You need to think in terms of what you can DO for a hurting person, not in terms of what you should SAY.

Continue reading “How Laypersons Can Minister to Depressed / Suicidal People”

A Response to Blogger Matt Walsh Regarding Depression and Suicide

A Response to Blogger Matt Walsh Regarding Depression

Before I address Matt Walsh’s post about depression specifically:

For anyone who wants to read a compassionate, balanced view about mental health problems, including depression, by a Christian author, please read a copy of the book,

Why Do Christians Shoot Their Wounded?: Helping (Not Hurting) Those with Emotional Difficulties – by Dwight L. Carlson.

Carlson is a Christian doctor who explains how much, if at all, personal sin, choice, or biology play in issues such as depression.

An excerpt from the book’s page on Amazon reads,

  • It’s no sin to hurt. Thousands of Christians suffer real emotional pain– such as depression, anxiety, obsessiveness.

Many other Christians, including prominent leaders, believe emotional problems are the result of sin or bad choices. These attitudes often only add to the suffering of those who hurt.

In this book Dwight Carlson marshals recent scientific evidence that demonstrates many emotional problems are just as physical or biological as diabetes, cancer and heart disease.

While he never discounts personal responsibility, Carlson shows from both the Bible and up-to-date medicine why it really is no sin to hurt.

Understandably and compellingly, Why Do Christians Shoot Their Wounded? brings profound help for those who hurt and those who counsel. For those who suffer, here is a powerful liberation from guilt. For those who care for the suffering, here is vivid proof that those in emotional pain deserve compassion, not condemnation.

MATT WALSH, ROBIN WILLIAMS, AND SUICIDE/DEPRESSION

In the day or two after it was announced that movie actor Robin Williams died by suicide, Christian blogger Matt Walsh wrote a blog post about it called “Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease, he died from his choice” (url: themattwalshblog.com). A copy of Walsh’s first post appears (Link): here on Barbwire (the link will open in a new window).

The very title of the post suggests, or assumes, that Williams was wholly in his right mind, capable of making rational decisions, and was therefore totally responsible for his own death, that he could have easily avoided his death (if only he had “chosen” joy and/or read a Bible more, etc), and, by extension, deserves no compassion.

Walsh would probably counter, “But I never specficially said he didn’t deserve compassion, or that he should just read his Bible more!”

Well, no, you didn’t say that exactly, but the wording of your blog post heading alone certainly implies it. The rambling in the post itself, which was intended to bolster the claims implied in the title, further suggests these views as well.

Walsh got so much negative feedback from that post, he wrote a follow-up post to it the other day.

I don’t know at this point if I intend on writing a full-scale rebuttal to Walsh’s post here – or, if I do, I may do it in the days or weeks ahead. I’m undecided.

I found Walsh’s commentary so revolting, I can’t bring myself to go back and re-read the piece again. Once was enough. I’ll try to re-visit the pages to grab some quotes, if I can.

I skimmed the Part 2 earlier today. Part 2 is entitled, “Depression isn’t a choice but suicide is: my detailed response to the critics”

The attitude of Walsh’s primary post was very victim-blaming, in spite of his protestations to the contrary.

Walsh evidently feels post # 1 was very loving and supportive of Robin Williams or anyone who deals with depression.

Perhaps Walsh is merely a very poor writer and failed to accurately convey his views in the first place, so that they came out as insensitive as they did, and now he’s upset so many people have taken his post the “wrong way.”

That has happened to me a time or two online – I fail to clearly explain my position on a sensitive issue, and folks take it the wrong way, and assume I’m a heartless jerk. (On the other hand, people are sometimes guilty of reading things into posts I’ve written that I never said or felt.)

If I am not mistaken, Walsh implied in part 1, and admitted in part 2 (again, I cannot bring myself at this time to re-read both to double check this) that he has had depression in the past, or some sort of problem.

Okay, I shall wade into the post again to find the exact quote. Here is what Walsh said in part 2 about his own experiences:

    I actually found myself getting emotional as I wrote it. I’m not suicidal but I have demons of my own, so I submitted that post to the public, praying others would find the same solace in the promise of hope and the power of free will.

From part 1, Walsh says,

    And before I’m accused of being someone who “doesn’t understand,” let me assure you that I have struggled with this my entire life.

I want to pause here to say I find that wording odd, from the quote from part 2. Walsh says he hopes people can find hope in “the power of free will.”

Christians usually feed depressed people the cliché’ that they can be freed of depression in “Jesus alone.”

Just as believing in Jesus alone cannot free a person from depression, neither can celebrating “free will,” or a “pick yourself up by your bootstraps and solider on” mentality.

I’d say often, a lot of people with clinical depression operate under one or both those paradigms for years to start with anyway, along with psychiatric visits or medications, until they realize none of it is working, they get mentally exhausted and want to stop fighting to live.

It is exhausting to live another day when all you want to do is stay in bed all day long with the sheets over your head, or take your own life.

That is, people with depression already have tried to “choose joy” and so on; they don’t need a Matt Walsh telling them to give that a go.

Having severe depression is not an automatic death sentence. There can be a way out, but it might vary from one person to the next.

But the vast majority of people I’ve seen who have made it through depression and lived to tell about it usually do not credit their survival with pure choice (ie, choosing to be joyful), Bible reading, attending church, or Jesus alone.

As a matter of fact, many of these recovering folks will tell you that one thing that made their journey MORE difficult was receiving well intentioned, yet hurtful advice, such as the very things Walsh was writing about and which is common among Christians: believe more in Jesus, attend church, choose to be joyful, etc.

Continue reading “A Response to Blogger Matt Walsh Regarding Depression and Suicide”

Married Father and Baptist Preacher J D Hall – Another Example of How Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Make a Person More Godly or Mature

Married Father and Baptist Preacher J D Hall – Another Example of How Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Make a Person More Godly or Mature

(There is an update at the bottom of this post).

This involves a lot of back story I don’t want to get into because this blog post would be ten pages long.

I am blogging this primarily for adult singles who have felt marginalized or hurt by Christian denominations or churches that treat adult singles as though they have cooties.

I have a somewhat different motivation for blogging about this than other blogs do. There were a few other blogs who addressed the child abuse aspect of the story, that we have an adult (Hall) badgering a teen kid (Braxton Caner) on the internet.

J D Hall is a Calvinist preacher with a blog called “Pulpit and Pen,” a Twitter account, and a group of fan boys who follow him around online who actually refer to themselves as “Pulpiteers.”

At one time, Hall’s groupies were using the #pulpiteer (or “pulpiteers”) hash to follow each other around Twitter. I’m not sure if they still use the “Pulpiteer” label or not. I will continue to refer to them as such.

This group, and a few other people, have a long standing hatred of another guy named Ergun Caner.

Continue reading “Married Father and Baptist Preacher J D Hall – Another Example of How Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Make a Person More Godly or Mature”

General Observations Or Concerns About Stuff Christian Culture Likes Group and Blog

This is kind of a follow up to my previous post about SCCL (link at bottom – the group was recently mocking the T. Burpo book).

I found at least one blog post chronicling some of the abusive tendencies within the SCCL group (see link below) – this is so odd.

The SCCL like group members depict themselves as champions of the hurt and abused, but they sometimes bully and abuse other people themselves.

In addition, Drury (who is the owner and maintainer of the SCCL like groups, Twitter account, and blog), who tries to present herself as a feminist, and who also tries to come off as sensitive to homosexuals and more recently, transgendered people and their concerns, has made comments some of them have found offensive on several occasions on Twitter and/or Facebook, but she was reluctant to apologize.

You can read examples here:

(Link): For Surivivors of Christian Fundamentalism seeking refuge in Stuff Christian Culture Likes (group / blog)

A person (Shelly) on that blog left this comment (excerpt from her comment):

Another couple of people [at SCCL] were triggery for me, as they did shit that reminded me of the abuse I received when I was younger, and I no longer felt safe staying there, knowing that

she was perfectly fine to call out the abuse within the church system but wouldn’t call it out within the page that was supposed to be a safe place for the abused.

So I unliked the page, unfollowed her SCCL Twitter (I had unfollowed her personal one after t-gate), and stopped following the blog.

(end excerpts)

I’ve noticed the same thing.

It’s a group that scolds churches or Christian culture for perpetuating certain damaging views, or for allowing or committing abuse, but pretty much allows the regular members to bash the new-comers to the group who may speak up and disagree with whatever topic is under discussion.

I never joined the SCCL Facebook group. I may have left one post at one SCCL blog page once a long time ago (I don’t recall), but something never sat quite right with me about the types of people who post at either the group or blog, so I didn’t join.

The majority of SCCL members can seem kind-hearted and supportive most of the time, but then turn like sharks the next instant on an individual who isn’t keeping with the group think.

I once read a blog post about how even blogs / groups intended for survivors (survivors of church abuse or whatever) can turn out to be just as abusive as the church or cult the person has left. (That post may have also been on Blog on the Way, I can’t remember where I saw it).

If you have been hurt by a Christian, a denomination, or a church, be very, very careful which other groups you choose to align yourself with in the aftermath, or for support or healing.

The group you choose to make your “new home” or support system just may turn on you in the future.

I have seen some people post perfectly polite, fine questions or comments on SCCL Facebook page and get rudely ripped to shreds, ganged up on, by several SCCL members at once over it.

It’s not pretty, and some of the SCCL members, at times, act just as horribly as the fundamentalists, evangelicals, sexists and “homophobes” (what a stupid, inaccurate word, by the way) they complain about.

There are also some hard-core atheists who sporadically show up to SCCL to bitterly complain about theism, the Bible and Christians, and they are some of the most condescending, obnoxious jerks I’ve come across. They usually get shouted down by other SCCL members, but they do post there on occasion.

There is a Christian guy, an older gentlemen (his personal profile photo shows a white-haired guy) named “Warren” who participates at SCCL.

I’d say the guy makes good sense about 95% of the time, but he still gets shouted down and treated rudely by the SCCL regulars – because, in knee jerk reaction, they recoil at anything that smacks of Christian or traditional values.

Continue reading “General Observations Or Concerns About Stuff Christian Culture Likes Group and Blog”

Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )

Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric

More anti-singlness and anti-virginity commentary from perverted, sexist douche bag and pastor Mark Driscoll has come to light. I have blogged about this creep before (see links at the conclusion of this post for more).

I am not a fan of tip toeing around people’s feelings and the extreme political correctness in today’s culture, (as I wrote of in a (Link): previous blog post here), but, I am not a supporter of this other extreme, the one Driscoll presents in the post I excerpt below.

It’s one thing to speak your mind – in a firm but respectful way, even if the majority of popular culture does not like your beliefs – but Driscoll seems to go out of his way to be unnecessarily rude, condescending, and hateful, or as obnoxious as he can be.

In the year 2000, Neo-Calvinist preacher Mark Driscoll, writing under the name “William Wallace II,” I think, wrote a bunch of inflammatory commentary on his church’s forum “Midrash.” In a book he wrote, Driscoll admitted to posting as “William Wallace II” on that forum (some sites linked to below have screen captures taken from online versions of the book that you can view).

In a series of very long posts, Driscoll ranted against women, feminists, homosexuals, men who are not manly-man enough in his view, and all this has drawn the ire and attention of many netizens after this was blogged about recently.

However, the portion of Driscoll’s post that caught my eye seems to subtly mock or ridicule adult singleness, singles ministries, and adult virginity.

Before I get to that, I wanted to mention this:

According to one source ((Link): source) in a Tweet:

    Driscoll through Wallace says women need a man to help them select a husband (p. 78). Eastern culture > Biblical example incl Ruth, then.

As I replied on Twtter in regards to that view by Driscoll:

    I’m a never married lady over 40, would still like to marry some day – Driscoll can eat my shorts

Yes, Driscoll can take his outdated, sexist views about single women and cram them up his butt.

There was also this (Willam Wallace parody account is quoting Driscoll (Link): Source):

Returning once more to the long rant by Driscoll:

(Link): Mark Driscoll’s Pussified Nation… – Matthew Paul Turner’s blog –
If Turner’s blog becomes unavailable for viewing (which it did earlier today apparently due to a stampede of traffic), you can read the Driscoll penned posts here:
(Link): Posts by Driscoll

Here are excerpts of what Driscoll wrote in 2000, under the name “William Wallace II” – with comments by me below this long excerpt (and additional links by other people about this Driscoll rant):

    We live in a completely pussified nation.

    We could get every man, real man as opposed to pussified James Dobson knock-off crying Promise Keeping homoerotic worship loving mama’s boy sensitive emasculated neutered exact male replica evangellyfish, and have a conference in a phone booth.

    It all began with Adam, the first of the pussified nation, who kept his mouth shut and watched everything fall headlong down the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his mouth and listened to his wife who thought Satan was a good theologian when he should have lead her and exercised his delegated authority as king of the planet.

    As a result, he was cursed for listening to his wife and every man since has been his pussified sit quietly by and watch a nation of men be raised by bitter penis envying burned feministed single mothers who make sure that Johnny grows up to be a very nice woman who sits down to pee.

    Continue reading “Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )”

Married Father Who Worked as Police Officer Raped Wife After Drugging Her and Murdered Her and Their Children – so much for marriage and parenthood making people more godly, mature, responsible and loving!

Married Father Who Worked as Police Officer Raped Wife After Drugging Her and Murdered Her and Their Children – so much for marriage and parenthood making people more godly, mature, responsible and loving!
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Notice from Christian Pundit blogger: There is coming a time when I will either not be blogging as frequently or not at all. Please read more about that here in this post (Link): Blog Break – May 2014 – and List of This Blog’s Best or Most Relevant Posts
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I sometimes post links to news articles on this blog of parents, preachers, or married people who do immoral or illegal activities. There have been so many of these stories showing up in my Twitter feed the past two weeks, I can hardly keep up.

I will not be blogging on all of them. For about every news story I blog about of a parent who murders her child, or a married man who gets caught stabbing his wife to death or whatever, there are about 2 to 4 I do NOT get around to publishing on my blog – Bear that in mind anytime you visit my blog and see these types of stories.

So. Christians, particularly Southern Baptist, evangelicals, Reformed, and other flavors of Christians, like to spout off how parenthood and marriage make people more ethical, godly, and mature and immune from sexual sin, while, at the same time, they teach the insulting views that anyone who is still single and/or childless past age 30, is selfish or a loser or a closeted homosexual.

Here is yet another example of how parenthood does not make a person more godly, ethical, responsible, or mature – and it proves a person does not have to become perfect to obtain a spouse, or be rewarded with one by God:

(Link): US police officer Joshua Boren had raped wife several times before murdering her and children in shooting rampage

Father of Santa Barbara killer: ‘Part of me’ wishes my son was never born (Update)

Father of Santa Barbara killer: ‘Part of me’ wishes my son was never born

But Family Values!11!!! Family is the backbone of society!

Being a parent automatically makes you more godly, loving, and mature! You won’t regret the kid when it’s YOURS. *rolleyes*

All of that according to Christians, pro natalists, and my fellow social conservatives. But it’s not so.

Family is not always a Norman Rockwell painting. Sometimes parents have children then regret having them.

If his son had not made SEX into an idol, his son might be alive today. Sex is a luxury, not a necessity.

What follows is sort of an update to my previous post,
(Link): Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof

Here’s the update:

(Link) Father of Santa Barbara killer: ‘Part of me’ wishes my son was never born

Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

I have never approved of May-December relationships, regardless of the gender situation.

I am grossed out by relationships that have more than a five year age gap (ten at the most). I wrote about that before in (Link): this post.

(Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

    -‘Some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes – I like old ladies’: ‘Extreme toyboy’, 31, takes 91-year-old girlfriend home to meet his mother
    -Kyle had first sexual experience with a 50-year-old aged 18
    -Claims he has always been attracted to older women
    -Currently dating five women aged over 60, including Marjorie, 91
    -Says they have an active and satisfying sex life
    -Often takes girlfriends home to meet him mother, 51

    As a society, we’ve become used to May to September relationships – just look at Madonna and her latest backing dancer; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones and their 25-year age gap. No one bats an eyelid any more.

    But one ‘exteme toy boy’ does raise a few eyebrows when he steps out with his lover – because baby-faced Kyle Jones, 31, is in a relationship with a 91-year-old great-grandmother.

    Kyle, from Augusta, Georgia, dates numerous pensioners at the same time and even takes them home to meet his 50-year-old mother. For the last five years he has been in a ‘casual’ relationship with 91-year-old Marjorie McCool.

    And despite the 60-year age gap, the pair have an active sex life and can’t keep their hands off each other.

    Kyle said: ‘Everyone’s brain is wired differently, some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes, some like other guys – I like old ladies.’

    The call centre worker was just 18 when he first acted on his attraction for older women and began a sexual relationship with a 50-year-old.

    Now Kyle uses dating websites to find women as well as chatting them up in his daily life.

    He said: ‘Most of the time, the average age I go for is between 60 and 80.

    ‘Whenever I’m trying to speak to an older woman, the first reaction I get is ‘you’re way too young’.

    ‘I find persistence is good so I tell them it’ll be fun.’

    Although officially single, Kyle regularly sees up to five women at a time and takes them on dates – and even home to meet his mother.

    In 2009 he met great-grandmother Marge – short for Marjorie – in the bookstore where she was working and asked for her number.

    Marge, who had been single for 37 years since splitting with the father of her six children, agreed to go on a date.

    She said: ‘In the beginning I got jealous of his other women but he keeps coming back to me and tells me I’m the best.

    ‘The physical side of our relationship is wonderful. I amaze myself, he amazes me. There’s nothing better.

    …. And while many of the women he dates can’t believe such a young man would find them attractive, Kyle is adamant he does.

    He said: ‘Often, the things women are so self-conscious about is what I’m into. I like the neck lines and wrinkles.

    ‘Women worry about their boobs sagging but I think the natural hang looks great. I’m really not a fan of plastic surgery.

    …Kyle’s preference for the elderly has drawn criticism from those who see him as opportunistic.

    He said: ‘The most common criticism I hear is ‘you’re after money’ or ‘you’re after inheritance’.

    ‘Or people think these women must be buying me things.

    ‘But it’s not true at all – I do this because I like it and they like it too. I’ve dated women from various ends of the financial spectrum, but it’s never about what they have.’

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Related posts:

(Link): Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

An Open Letter to Male Virgins by Anna Broadway

An Open Letter to Male Virgins by Anna Broadway

I want to preface the editorial farther below by saying our culture, both Christian and secular, ridicules and shames FEMALE ADULT VIRGINS and FEMALE celibates too, not just MALE ones.

Once you have gotten to your late 20s as a woman and are still a virgin, you are looked at askew by society – both in and out of church.

I say this too because I see older male, usually Christian, virgins on other sites and blogs whining, crying, and boo-hooing at how tough they think male celibates have life! Oh please, as if you guys have it more difficult? You do not.

Women virgins over 25 / 30 years of of age get teased, left out, and treated like loser-freaks by Non-Christian and Christian culture, PLUS, we ladies get the added shame messages in church sermons and Christian propaganda on blogs and in books, that we are not fulfilling our “God given duty” or “Godly role” to make a baby!

We ladies get the shame, insults, and scorn double.

Men do not face anywhere NEAR the amount of pressure by Christian culture to breed and pop out kids.

Men never (or not as often as women) have to make excuses as to why they are not a daddy, but we women get asked that all the time in regards to parenting, why are we not mothers, don’t we like kids, when do you plan on having a kid, don’t you know you better hurry your bio clock is running out, etc. We ladies get the ‘baby’ questions constantly.

It is not only MALES who face discrimination and stereotypes for being virgins. We women virgins get lambasted for it as well. We female virgins are assumed to be frigid, weird, lesbian, have too much baggage, we must be obese and ugly, or neurotic.

By the way, while the young man himself in the recent news story is responsible for his actions – the 22 year old guy who shot up a bunch of people because he was frustrated at being a virgin and not getting dates – I can’t help but wonder if the Celibate- and Virgin- shaming I see on anti-sexual purity blogs, and the overall anti-virginity attitudes I see on blogs and Facebook groups only contribute to the problem.

Maybe if culture was more accepting of virginity and did not humiliate or shame people who never lose it, or who don’t lose their virginity until they are 25, 35, 55 years old, this guy would not have felt the need to go out and shoot a bunch of people.

But as I have been reporting on here the last couple or more years, Christians have jumped aboard the “virgin and celibate shame” train, too.

It is no longer only secular culture that mocks virginity and says staying sexually pure is impossible, it is every other preacher on TV or in church now, too.

Christians are now taking “pot shots” at the concept of sexual purity and virginity on their blogs, and saying nobody can be expected to stay a virgin their entire life, or past age 25.

Maybe if the church stood on a hill and screamed, “It’s okay to be a virgin and single your whole life, feel no shame,” you wouldn’t have 22 year old men thinking they are a loser-nothings for being a virgin… maybe that kid would have realized he was okay as he was, he would not have gotten worked up and angry and murdered several people as he did.

The Christian church should be presenting virginity as a perfectly fine, viable option for adults in our culture, to act as a counterpoint to our sex-saturated culture, but often, they do not.

Christians – the married ones, and the preachers – also shame older virgins for being virgins and for being single, and they never discuss singleness and celibacy. Preachers are always giving sermons on MARRIAGE and MARRIED SEX.

(Link): An Open Letter to Male Virgins by A. Broadway

Excerpts:

    What do you tell the male virgin in a sexed-up 21st-century “bro culture”? Is there anything an older sister of sorts could say to encourage men frustrated by their unwanted celibacy? Here’s my attempt.

To the male virgins out there:

  • I suspect you feel a lot of shame about the term “virgin.” These days, it’s hard not to. Even among young adults, virgins are a clear minority; according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only one in 10 American men enters marriage a virgin; most start having sex in late high school. The numbers show women behave very similarly.
  • … Whatever our various reasons for ending up so, adult virgins must navigate a culture that regards sex as central to human fulfillment. But abstinence from this supposedly penultimate experience raises slightly different identity issues for men and women.
  • For women, men’s disinterest can seem like a knock on our beauty and desirability. Depending on where we find our value, that rejection can throw our own self-worth into question. But where women may blame unwanted abstinence on some lack in ourselves, men seem to read sexual inexperience as a fundamental failing, or even evidence of women’s universal aversion to or even contempt.

Continue reading “An Open Letter to Male Virgins by Anna Broadway”

Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof

Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin Kills Several Women Because He Can’t Get Dates

I bet this lunatic considered himself a “nice guy.” *Snicker.*

One article says, regarding the gunman,

In a YouTube video titled “Retribution,” the gunman, who was a student at Santa Barbara City College,

expresses his frustration over being a virgin at 22 and the constant rejection from women.

“For the last eight years of my life, ever since I hit puberty, I’ve been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires, all because girls have never been attracted to me,” he said.

“In those years I’ve had to rot in loneliness. It’s not fair. You girls have never been attracted to me. I don’t know why you girls have never been attracted to me, but I will punish you for it.”

—(end excerpt)—

What a whiny cry baby.

I’m a virgin in my 40s, female, had hoped to marry, am still single, have a healthy sex drive, and you don’t see me shooting at men. I do not feel as though men “owe” me dates or anything like that, geeze.

By the way, this news story is spectacular evidence of how Christian culture has failed in teaching about celibacy, virginity.

Christians mock and ridicule (or else ignore) virginity as much as secular culture does (I have a few links about that at the bottom of this post).

Christians expend a lot of energy either ignoring adult singleness – in favor of endless pontificating about marriage and setting up ministries to meet the needs of married people – or some of figure heads within the faith insult adult singleness (see, for example, my posts on this blog about Al Mohler).

Here are some more links about the guy who shot some women dead over frustration due to being single and a virgin – you will notice this sicko feels tremendously entitled to have a woman, and “beautiful” women at that:

(Link): ‘Mountains of skulls, rivers of blood… tomorrow is the day of retribution’: Virgin gunman’s chilling video rant in full

Partial transcript from one of his videos:

    I’m 22 years old and I’m still

a virgin 

    I’ve never even kissed a girl.
  • I’ve been through college for two and half years, more than that actually, and I’m still a virgin.
  • It has been very torturous. College is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure. In those years I’ve had to rot in loneliness.
  • It’s not fair. You girls have never been attracted to me. I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me but I will punish you all for it. It’s an injustice, a crime, because I don’t know what you don’t see in me.
  • I’m the perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men instead of me, the supreme gentleman. I will punish all of you for it. [Laughs]
  • On the day of retribution, I am going to enter the hottest sorority house of UCSB [UC Santa Barbara]. And I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck up blonde slut I see inside there.
  • All those girls I have desired so much, they will have all rejected me and looked down upon me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance towards them.
  • Continue reading “Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof”

    Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

    Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles (links)
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    The book Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind of Happiness by Melanie Notkin is available for sale on Barnes and Noble, and other sites.

    From a page about the book:

      More American women are childless than ever before—nearly half those of childbearing age don’t have children.

    While our society often assumes these women are “childfree by choice,” that’s not always true.

    In reality, many of them expected to marry and have children, but it simply hasn’t happened. Wrongly judged as picky or career-obsessed, they make up the “Otherhood,” a growing demographic that has gone without definition or visibility until now.

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    Disclaimer: I am not anti-motherhood, nor necessarily against people taking their mothers out to brunch on Mother’s Day.

    I am, however, against the onslaught of syrupy Mother’s Day hoopla on and before the day, and the church services that honor mothers because:

    • Some people (women included) were abused by their mothers and so find the holiday awkward or painful,
    • some people had or have mothers who are/were cruel or overly-critical,
    • some people’s mothers are dead and they miss them terribly,
    • some women desire to be a mother but cannot because they are infertile, their spouse is infertile, or they are single and cannot find “Mr. Right” (and don’t believe in getting pregnant outside of marriage, or don’t feel they could support a baby alone)
    • some women choose to be child free, but feel excluded or shamed by church and secular staggering emphasis on motherhood on the holiday

    Some Christians have turned motherhood (as well as fatherhood and marriage) into idols, which they should repent of.
    —————————-
    This post discusses “Otherhood” (women who delay motherhood for years, or who are infertile, or ones who were open to having children but who’ve not met “Mr Right,” and for whatever reason, do not want to have a child while single, but would prefer to be married before having kids)

    OTHERHOOD

    (Link): The Otherhood: Single women face ‘circumstantial infertility’

    Excerpt

      Melanie Notkin wanted love, marriage, and then the proverbial baby carriage — in that order.

    By the time she reached her early forties, the entrepreneur and author was still single and appreciated the likelihood that, despite wanting desperately to be a mother, she might never give birth to a child on her own.

    Like many women her age, Notkin, 44, a Montreal native, expected to reap all the social, economic, and political equality that her mother’s generation didn’t have. At the same time, in addition to her education and her career, she anticipated a traditional family track.

    In her new book, released today, “Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind of Happiness,” Notkin uncovers the personal stories of women like her, who are part of a growing demographic trend and suffer what she calls “circumstantial infertility.”

    Often, people presume that when a woman like Notkin is childless, it’s probably by choice. But many of the childless women in their thirties and forties simply want to do it the “old fashioned way,” she says, and find the right relationship before making a lifetime commitment to have kids.

    Continue reading “Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)”