Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

TGC is the same group that brought us all that cringe, weird book about sex called “Beautiful Union,” whose author claimed that sex can point us all to God, which is a disaster for those of us over 30 who are still virgins and living celibately.

I had a few comments I wanted to make below this:

(Link):  A Response to Shane Morris’s TGC Review of Non-Toxic Masculinity

Excerpts:

[The review that Wagner is responding to is located here, on TGC’s site: Sexual Ethics Is More than Not Being Evil]

by Zachary Wagner

…I want to note some of my ongoing disappointment with The Gospel Coalition on their engagement with issues of sexuality, gender, and masculinity.

…For many of my friends who have left Christianity, the straw that broke the camel’s back was not merely that Christianity was sexually restrictive. It was the hypocrisy of those who condemned the culture’s sexual permissiveness while indulging in sexual sin themselves or excusing it on the part of Christian leaders and heroes.

…In particular, the juxtaposition between purity culture on the one hand and sexual scandal on the other has opened a floodgate of apostasy for Millennials in particular, including members of my family and many very dear friends. How should evangelical pastors respond to this? Morris has little to say on this point, but he seems to imply that defending purity culture and doubling down on its good intentions is the correct approach. …

This is pastorally irresponsible. Parents, pastors, and authors were the ones who should have known better, not teenagers with raging hormones and half-developed brains. The sons and daughters of purity culture have repeatedly been told that they were the problem. Any suffering or frustration or confusion they experienced was their fault, a result of their sinful and broken inclinations.

Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too)

Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too) – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One

This post has been edited to add more material

It would be nice if more psychologists, therapists and lay persons wrote articles or blog posts from the vantage of how things affect single adults, but that’s not always the case.

As you know from my blog, I am a never married, middle-aged adult. Yet, I still find some content about marriage helpful in navigating or understanding my relationships with family members and friends.

This lady, Renee Swanson, has a blog, several social media channels, and a podcast about having been married to a Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissist for 21 years – in my opinion, based on what she’s written, her husband is not only a Covert Narcissist but displays elements of what is called Neglectful Narcissism (more on that below).

It looks to me as though some of Swanson’s accounts have not been updated in two or so years, but the content is still quite helpful and illuminating.

I’m going to excerpt a few of her blog posts below.

I want you to note that contrary to what extreme marriage (and parenthood and nuclear family) promoters have to say, that marriage (and parenthood, etc), does not necessarily make a person happy, safe, and secure, as Renee Swanson’s content once again demonstrates.

The person you marry, should you marry, can end up being emotionally, sexually, financially, or physically controlling, negligent, or irresponsible.

There are some personality disorders for which there is no cure, and for which the disorder is largely impervious to therapy.

Which means, should you marry someone with one of those disorders, such as severe pathological narcissism, your partner is never going to change or get better, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, or how much you do for them, love them, or pray for them.

I think that the Christian gender complementarian interpretation of the Bible is incorrect on many topics, but certainly in regards to divorce.

Many complementarian persons, churches, denominations, and pastors believe that the Bible never allows for divorce, including in cases of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.

Such anti-divorce, complementarian churches and pastors frequently mistakenly teach people (usually women) who are married to abusers to simply submit more to their spouse, and that will make the mistreatment stop. Such pastors, churches, etc, are entirely ignorant about personality disorders and abuse dynamics.

If these complementarian, anti-divorce clowns spent any time at all looking up information on abuse dynamics or personality disorders, they would learn soon enough that there is nothing another person can do to fix, change, or heal an abusive or toxic person – and the spouse sure won’t be able to do it.

I’ve never married, but I’ve had family members, co-workers, bosses, friends, and acquaintances display presence of disorders or toxic behaviors, and no matter how kind and loving I was to those persons, it didn’t get their abuse of me to stop.

In each case, I either had to limit contact with the toxic person, or cut them out of my life entirely. The same should be true of marriage – you may have to limit contact with your toxic spouse (grey rocking or yellow rocking), or divorce the person.

The following blog post by Renee (the second one featured below, particularly) accurately explains many family and friendship relationships I’ve had over the course of my life.

I used to be extremely Codependent until a few years ago, and during the time I was Codependent, I often attracted Vulnerable Narcissists, or self absorbed, perpetually angry (or depressed) people, who would contact me mainly to complain to me about their problems, where they’d expect me to just listen and give empathy, something I did for many people for many years, and it left me mentally exhausted.

And those who used me as their “Free Therapist” rarely did anything to work on their own problems or their own mental health.

Such persons preferred to take their frustration, disappointment, pain, or anger in life, and phone or text me about it, and make their pain my pain.

It’s as though some of them wanted me to handle or carry their inner pain for them, so they wouldn’t have to face it or carry it themselves. But no person can do that for another person. It’s something we must each do for ourselves.

And the people dumping all their pain or anger in life on me very rarely (or never) allowed me to discuss MY pain or MY frustrations in life with THEM.

When you are a people pleaser, an emotional dependent, a Codependent, or an empath with no boundaries, you will often end up in these unfair friendships (or marriages), where you’re meeting the needs of the perpetually wounded or disordered person, but they generally refuse to meet your needs in return.

(Link):  The Narcissist’s Constant Victim Role

Excerpts:

by Renee Swanson

Covert narcissists are constant victims. Everyone has done them wrong. Everyone has injured their precious ego at some point or another.

The whole world is responsible for their anger, negativity, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, and even their lack of empathy. From the tiniest injury to the grandest, the narcissist continues to be the never-ending victim.

This causes all relationships with the narcissist to be strained and exhausting.

When the narcissist plays the victim so well, it leaves you with two roles in life. You are either the therapist or the enemy. You are either the rescuer or the perpetrator.

The trouble is that healthy people do not want to play these roles with their loved ones.

Your Role as a Therapist

Healthy individuals recognize that they cannot serve as a rescuer to their parent, spouse, adult child, friend, boss, etc. When a person is constantly relying on your approval and validation in order to feel good about themselves, this is not a healthy situation.

You are not helping them or yourself. You are not their therapist and should not serve as such. They need to be working on their own problems on their own, just as you should be with yours.

… Your Role As Enemy

… That peace, however [that you get from constantly apologizing to the Covert Narcissist], will be short-lived. There are not enough apologies in the world to satisfy the victim role of a narcissist.

Their pain comes from within, and yet they constantly look for external reasons and external solutions. Those solutions will NEVER be good enough. To stop being the perpetrator, you have to set your own boundaries and walk away.
— end excerpts —

You’ll note in this next blog post, excerpted below, how being married to this Covert Narcissist of hers, whom she refers to as Steven (not his real name) for 21 years did not bring this lady any joy or peace.

She does say in other podcasts or blog posts, and I think maybe this one, that there were a few moments of happiness with her husband here and there, but ultimately, her spouse would display his sullen, entitled, insensitive nature the majority of the time.

The thing about abusive or toxic people is that they are rarely abusive or toxic 100% of the time.

Abusive or toxic individuals have moments or days where they can be fun, loving, or considerate – so, you end up thinking the relationship is not so bad; it’s intermittent reinforcement (which I believe plays a role in “trauma bonding,” or is the basis of it) – that combined with fear and false hope can keep someone stuck in a terrible relationship for years.

Remember, just because your toxic or abusive person (family member, spouse, friend, whoever it is) occasionally acts nicely towards you, or treats you to a lovely dinner on your birthday, gifts you with a wonderful vacation or a ruby necklace, or whatever nice gesture or gift
– does not excuse or make-up for the rest of the relationship, where they are constantly invalidating you, neglecting you, nit picking you, overtly abusing you, or exploiting you!

Narcissists are known for “Love Bombing” their victims. You will waste years of your life on this person, longing to “bring back” the nice, sweet, kind funny version of them that they first put on display when you were first dating (or befriending) them, but that was a fake persona. It was never genuine.

The person who chronically invalidates or who ignores you now is the “real” them.

You’re never (permanently) getting back to that fake “nice, charming, loving” version of them again, unless they sense you are going to dump them, in which case, they will temporarily put on the “nice guy” (or the “I’m a poor, helpless victim in life, please help me, rescue me”) mask again (called “hoovering“) to “breadcrumb” you. Don’t fall for it.

(Link): How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse

Excerpts (you should read her ENTIRE post, not just the portion below):

by Renee Swanson

My marriage lasted almost 21 years. For most of these years, I convinced myself and the world that I had the perfect marriage. We were simply great together.

There was no other option available. The mind is powerful and can do amazing things. I truly believed that it was a match made in heaven and that he was perfect for me.

…Besides we had some really good days in between these outbursts. So I swept it under the rug every time and continued to believe that our marriage was great and wonderful.

Ever so slowly, my eyes started opening. …

More Christian Abuse Survivor Infighting – Yikes – this time it involves ‘Sacred Wilderness’

More Christian Abuse Survivor Infighting – Yikes – this time it involves ‘Sacred Wilderness’

Several months ago, Christian abuse survivor advocates were ganging up on Christian journalist Julie Roys – I wrote a blog post or two about it, like (Link): this one. I’ve been meaning to write another post or two about it but didn’t get around to it (maybe some day – a lot of Christian abuse survivor advocates are appallingly ignorant about Codependency).

This time, there was another “Civil War” among Christian abuse survivor advocates, some of the names or groups I do not recognize.

Someone named Johnna Harris (who runs or is somehow affiliated with a group called Sacred Wilderness) was being accused of things, and attacked for weeks on end, by another so-called Christian abuse survivor advocate calling himself Kyle Howard. Also, staff or volunteers of SW (Sacred Wilderness) were accusing higher ups at SW of abuse or something.

Again, I’m not familiar with everyone in this drama, so I’m not sure who started what and why, and who is pushing what agenda – well, after having read through the PDF mentioned below, I now have a better idea, but it’s a somewhat long and convoluted mess.

This SW group hired a third party to investigate them, to ensure they were above board.

They released their findings of this third party in (Link): an open letter, Organizational Assessment with Pellucid Consulting,  and a PDF file (I believe the PDF file is linked to at the bottom of the open letter).

Excerpts from the open letter:

Kyle Howard has personally tweeted many hurtful lies towards one of our founding members, Johnna Harris, including tagging her in an email claiming that she was fearful Kyle would try to sexually assault her. This is just one example of hundreds of tweets that we have screenshots of directly targeting Johnna or her work.

Our former employee tweeted on multiple occasions that we chose to do an assessment over an investigation. He said that was wrong because since abuse claims had already been made we should have gone straight to an investigation.

We interviewed and reached out to several corporate investigation companies, both secular and non-secular.

After reviewing our situation with associates of three companies, none of those companies thought we qualified for an investigation. Things they brought up were that we “were not a company with a history of abuse,” “this is too small for them to take on,” and “this just sounds like a corporate conflict where you need to amicably part ways and move on.”

There are so many examples of harmful things said about us that could have been included, but we encourage you to read the report to see more, specifically pages 38-48.
— end excerpts —

Conservative Motherhood Idolaters Once Again Upset Over People Finding Mother’s Day Painful, Re: Companies Allowing People to Opt Out of Mother’s Day Ads Has Them Incensed

Conservative Motherhood Idolaters Once Again Upset Over People Finding Mother’s Day Painful, Re: Companies Allowing People to Opt Out of Mother’s Day Ads Has Them Incensed

Let me get the usual out of the way:
I am a conservative.
I am not feminist.
I am not anti-motherhood. I do not support abortion.
I am not progressive, liberal, nor a Democrat, and I am fed up and sick and tired of seeing Rainbow Flags plastered all over social media by corporations during “Pride Month,”
and I am tired of companies hiring men such as Dylan Mulvaney who say they’re girls to advertise Tampons and Sports Bras.

Having said all that, I do believe that my fellow conservatives have gone down the 180 degree opposite wrong route from anti-motherhood, anti-Nuclear Family positions that neo-Marxist progressives hold to the degree they have turned motherhood (as well as natalism, the nuclear family, parenthood, marriage) into Idols, which goes against the Bible,
and they shame and insult anyone, but especially any woman, over the age of 30 who has never married, can’t marry, doesn’t want to, or doesn’t have kids, doesn’t want to have kids.

Companies presenting the public with the chance to not have to view Mother’s Day ads is not necessarily woke, Marxist, or progressive, and it’s not inherently “anti family” or “anti motherhood.” Stop conflating or confusing those issues, if you’ve been doing so.

Conservative Upset Over Companies Allowing Mother’s Day Marketing Opt Outs

About three or four days ago, I saw a well known Twitter conservative, Jack Posobiec, tweet about how some companies this year began letting others opt out of receiving Mother’s Day ads, and I saw another conservative also tweet out an alarm about this.

I saw another lady tweet about it, and I commented under her tweet. After that some lady (maybe a man?) named “Rae” started sending me rude tweets.

Before I get to those tweets – I will link to a few, maybe embed a few, I wanted to make the following observations.

I am not opposed to Mother’s Day or to Motherhood.

I am not demanding that anyone “cancel” Mother’s Day.

I am not asking or demanding that the general public each NOT honor their own mothers or give their Mom a Mother’s Day card, or take their Mom out for brunch for the day, if they wish.

That companies are allowing people to opt out of Mother’s Day marketing doesn’t bother me in the least.

I don’t see it as an “anti family” attack. To me, it’s not the same thing as a company plastering Rainbows all over their ads.

There are actually some people – including conservatives – who find Mother’s Day a painful holiday to endure, and they’d rather avoid as many Mother’s Day ads as they can; that is their personal choice, and that is okay.

If you’re a conservative who adores Mother’s Day and you choose to keep accepting Mother’s Day ads in YOUR in-box, I am fine with that. I am not telling you to skip the Mother’s Day ads if you enjoy them.

Why Some May Find Mother’s Day Disturbing or Painful

The reason some may want to avoid Mother’s Day advertisements is that they find Mother’s Day painful, because it reminds them that their mother died months or years ago (they’re still in the grieving process), their Mom is or was abusive to them, or, they are infertile, want to have a baby but cannot, due to physical health problems.

None of those reasons for not wanting to see Mother’s Day commercials or advertisements derives from a place of “devaluing” motherhood or hating motherhood – but even if it did, so what?

If you’re a mother, and you demand that others validate YOUR life choice to have children, you are in error.

If you had children to receive attention, pity, or validation from your family, your church, or the culture, you had children for all the wrong reasons.

Pride Month Marketing

Just as companies give people a choice to opt out of Mother’s Day ads, they should also do so concerning Father’s Day ads and LGBTQ and Pride Month ads.

Other conservatives keep bringing up Pride Month ads as a comparison, but I believe it’s an Apples Vs. Oranges situation.

If companies did give the public a choice to opt out of LGBTQ marketing, some of the far left progressives may be offended, but based on the average, conservative or libertarian LGB persons I follow on social media, most of them would be okay with that and would even opt out of the Pride Month ads too.

Where-as some people find Mother’s Day painful because perhaps they are infertile, their Mother is abusive, or their Mom died two years ago and they’re still grieving, I don’t think the same types of emotions are attached to Pride Month.

I don’t think too many gays are going to be completely upset to see Pride Month ads or not see them, or are as apt to become infuriated if a company gives users an opportunity to avoid them. It’s a month long holiday about sexual orientation, which as compared to death of a loved one (a mother), isn’t the same thing, and is no where near the same thing.

I mention that last point because so many motherhood idolizers keep screaming on Twitter about how companies keep cramming “Pride Month” down everyone’s throats.

And yes, they do.

Woke companies are annoying like that, and I too wish they’d stop.

I’m a hetero conservative, but as I am someone who is opposed to progressive transgenderism, I follow a lot of lesbians and homosexuals on twitter, because they are opposed to leftist trans activism, and some of them have said THEY too are sick and tired of “Pride Month” and all the rainbow flags everywhere.

Some of these LGB persons are liberal, conservative, or libertarian.

But woke companies cramming Pride Month marketing down everyone’s throats doesn’t change the fact that some people still find Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day, painful and do not want to see reminders of either one.

Churches and Mother’s Day

On the matter of churches, that is a little bit more tricky for me.

Back when I was a regular, and later, a semi-regular, church attender, I would choose to stay home around Mother’s Day, because sadly, too many churches celebrate Mother’s Day during Sunday morning services, making the audience in the pews a captive audience.

There are people in the pews who find the holiday a painful reminder that they’re infertile, or all their pregnancies have resulted in miscarriage, or their mother is dead, or their mother was abusive. I understand why they may not want to be subjected to Mother’s Day sermons or Mother’s Day ads.

Famous Social Media Rabbi Charged With Raping One of His Several Adopted Sons, Molesting Others, While He Raised Them as a Single Dad

Famous Social Media Rabbi Charged With Raping One of His Several Adopted Sons, Molesting Others, While He Raised Then as a Single Dad

Have to point out that not all single adults are pedophiles or horn dogs. There are married people who rape or molest children, or who commit adultery – I have many examples of such on my blog.

Don’t automatically assume that any and every unmarried man who works around children is diddling the children.

This guy also supposedly faked having health problems in order to sucker people, manipulate them, and get pity from people, and I imagine he faked sickness so nobody would be as apt to suspect he was a child molester.

I’ve written a blog post or two before warning people, especially anyone who is very…

• empathetic,
• caring,
• a people pleaser,
• a codependent,
• someone with
• Emotional dependency, and/or who has
• Dependent personality disorder,

to be aware of the fact that there are child molesters, and people with personality disorders such as sociopathy, NPD (pathological narcissism), and psychopathy, who will not hesitate to exploit your empathy and warm nature to use those positive qualities against you, or to manipulate you into lowering your boundaries or not investigating them too closely.

Also note that contra most conservative propaganda about parenthood, that being a parent did not make this man any less of a pervert, or any more loving, responsible, caring, or ethical.

(Link): Texan who posed as Hasidic Jew and adopted 9 boys charged with sexually abusing kids

(Link): Phony Hasidic TikTok-famous dad charged with molesting adopted sons after boy speaks out

March 7, 2023
by Lee Brown

A phony Hasidic dad who found social-media acclaim for adopting nine boys has been charged with sexually abusing most of them — while out on bond in an earlier child sex case, according to disturbing reports.

Single dad Hayim Nissim Cohen, 38, regularly blogged about his “unique family” in Houston, gaining nearly 200,000 followers on TikTok.

But “behind all that is excessive abuse,” local prosecutor Janna Oswald told a recent court hearing, according to the Houston Chronicle.

Cohen — who claimed to be a Hasidic Jew from Brooklyn despite being born Jeffrey Lujan Vejil in the Lone Star State — was busted last month after one of his sons went on a podcast to anonymously report being raped and abused, the local paper noted.

The terrified 17-year-old boy told BlindSkinnedBeauty that he’d been sexually assaulted since he was 11 — weeks after his adoption — and claimed many of his brothers were also abused.

Nearly Half of Single People Receive Unsolicited Nudes, Get Ghosted: Poll – and a Few Dating Tips

Nearly Half of Single People Receive Unsolicited Nudes, Get Ghosted: Poll – and a Few Dating Tips

The page I’ve linked to below has some “first date dating tips,” a few of which I’ve included in my post.

May I add another tip or two (this is especially for single women), and this is also applicable to friendships, family relationships, and any job you have (your co-workers or bosses):
Please spend time researching Narcissistic Abuse and Cluster B personality disorders (which includes but is not limited to Narcissism and Sociopathy).

Particularly if you are a woman, and you’re a shy, people pleasing or codependent woman, you may be prone to over-sharing when you meet someone new (whether a date, a co-worker, etc) because you mistakenly think that sharing personal details when you first meet someone will establish intimacy.

You need to throw that thinking, assumption, and behavior into the trash can immediately.

One reason you do NOT want to overshare early in a relationship (as one of the tips gets into below – and remember, this is applicable to friendship and co-workers too, not JUST dating) is that the person you are dating might be a Cluster B,
and a Cluster B person will exploit any personal information or weaknesses you admit to, or that they can pick up from observing you, to control or manipulate you as the relationship progresses.

Such persons (especially Vulnerable Narcissists) will get you to talk about yourself WAY too much on a first or second date (and of course psychopaths and sociopaths will use this strategy too, but it seems to be a little more of a classical move that Vulnerable Narcissists play).

They may start out acting very, very interested in you, asking you all sorts of questions about what makes you “tick,” about your background, what kind of family you come from, etc.

You need to be careful how much or what type of that information you share.

You can also choose to refuse to answer any questions out-right, just tell the person, “I choose not to answer that question.” If they keep pressing or nagging you into giving an answer, just keep repeating over and over (however many times necessary), “I decline to answer that question.”

You do not always owe other people answers (not all the time with all people in every situation – this is highly context specific, but on a first, second, third, fourth, etc., date, NO, you do NOT owe your date answers to any or all questions!), nor do you owe people justifications or explanations for whatever choices you make in life, either.

Vulnerable (also known as Covert) Narcissists (and other Cluster B persons) try to pry into your personal business and learn about weak areas and regrets as much as they can, not because they truly care about you or your background, or your likes, your triggers, or your vulnerabilities, but they want that information so that they can use it to exploit and control you with later on.

They will eventually intentionally bring up your triggers, your weak spots, and/or shame you with painful or embarrassing things you admitted to them on a first or second date.

For example, if you admit early on in a relationship to always having had body issues and insecurities, to feeling embarrassed about not being stick thin, then as time moves on, they will more than likely start mocking you about your weight, or making thinly veiled insults
– like if they walk in seeing you eating a slice of pie, they may make a low key snide dig like, “Oh, is that your second piece of pie today?,” or, “Do you really think with your weight issues you should be eating that?”

They are doing that kind of thing on purpose. It’s calculated to make you feel shame. It is deliberate.

They want to chip away at your self esteem so that you are easy to control, abuse, and manipulate.

Some of them, especially the Covert Narcissists, will sometimes feign innocence and act as though they really and truly DO care about your weight and your health when they make comments about you eating another piece of pie. But they don’t actually care about your health or your weight.

Their end goal is to shame you more so they can control you, and you unknowingly tipped them off early in the dating stages that they can use your sensitivity about your body image / weight to clobber you with down the road.

One good book on this topic to get you started, what to look for early on in dating (or in forming friendships, or what to look for on job interviews to make sure you’re not walking into a toxic work environment with an abusive boss or co-workers),
and to learn about some of the typical emotionally manipulative games Cluster B persons play on their targets, is this book:
“Psychopath Free” by Jackson MacKenzie.
The book “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin DeBecker also offers a few similar insights. 

(Link): Nearly half of single people receive unsolicited nudes, get ghosted: poll

by Jack Hobbs
March 28, 2023

Single people who’ve been ghosted or sent an unsolicited nude photo — you’re not alone.

A new poll revealed that nearly half of the single people asked have been victims of nasty dating etiquette.

The dating app Plenty of Fish created a survey along with a dating guide in partnership with life coach Michelle Elman to help single people avoid “undesirable dating behaviors and engineer more positive experiences.”

“Helping daters understand and navigate different behaviors on their dating journey is something I’m really passionate about, which is why I’ve partnered with Plenty of Fish to create the Desirable Dating Guide,” Elman told the Sun. “The guide highlights some of the negative behaviors and experiences that can occur in the dating world, while also shining a light on how singles can enact some positive change.”

According to the survey, which sampled nearly 4,000 British singles, 48% of respondents said that they received unsolicited nude photos from a match or date — with 45% of the 48% revealing that it made them feel disgusted.

Dear Abby: I Lost My Ability to Walk and Now My Boyfriend Treats Me Like Garbage – (Common Behavior of Pathological Narcissists & Other Abusers – They Resent Care Taking)

Dear Abby: I Lost My Ability to Walk and Now My Boyfriend Treats Me Like Garbage – (Common Behavior of Pathological Narcissists & Other Abusers – They Resent Care Taking)

Before I paste in a copy of the woman’s letter, I wanted to say the following:

I’m surprised that this lady had to write in to an advice columnist about this.

After all, it’s common knowledge in content about domestic violence and Narcissistic Abuse that abusive persons – and not all abuse is physical, sometimes it’s emotional or financial – will isolate you.

Abusers will try to cut you off from your friends and family.

Or, if you get into a position where you become isolated over the course of the relationship (ie, due to physical health problems, you cannot walk any more), some abusers will use that to abuse or manipulate you further or to start abusing you if they haven’t previously.

Sounds to me like this woman who wrote in to “Dear Abby” is married to a Cluster B personality disordered person, probably a Covert Narcissist, though her partner could just as well be a Sociopath, Malignant Narcissist, Communal Narcissist, or a Psychopath.

Narcissists are notorious not just for loving to sue people, or threatening to sue them (as I said in an older post), but they will quickly show resentment to a partner who is having health problems.

If you are in the hospital sick recovering, or if you need transportation to a doctor’s appointment, if you are at home recovering,
if you so much as have menstrual cramps, are in bed with a bad case of the Flu, whatever sickness it is,
if you’re dealing with any illness or physical health problem from mild to severe, please realize that you cannot count on your Vulnerable (also known as Covert) Narcissistic partner to be your care-taker.

They resent it. They find it annoying.

Narcissists have low to no empathy.

From their way of thinking, you being sick (whether the sickness is mild or severe) takes attention OFF OF THEM (which they despise), and because they have low empathy, they do not care that you feel sick or need a drive to the doctor’s appointment.

I have more to say below this letter:

(Link): Dear Abby: I lost my ability to walk and now my boyfriend treats me like garbage

March 18, 2023

DEAR ABBY:
I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. In all this time he has never once asked me if I’m OK whenever I have gotten hurt.

I got used to it, you might say. Well, I recently lost the ability to walk, and ended up in a nursing home for rehabilitation.

My boyfriend would come to visit, but would never ask about progress. Furthermore, when I would show him my progress he wouldn’t act happy.

Porsche Billionaire Files for Divorce Over Wife’s Dementia: Report

Porsche Billionaire Files for Divorce Over Wife’s Dementia: Report

A few years ago, when Pat Robertson was still hosting The 700 Club (he’s mostly retired from that now), he created a stir when he replied to a viewer question from a man who talked about his wife having dementia. From what I remember, Robertson told the man to go ahead and divorce his wife who had dementia.(*)

Marriage does not make people more godly, giving, or loving.

Marriage does NOT cancel out personality disorders, either, and a lot of these cruel, abusive, or selfish spouses you hear about often have a Cluster B personality disorder, such as sociopathy or narcissism.

Marriage is not a guarantee that you’ll have a “happily ever after” ending with someone to care for you until you die. Too many pro-nuclear family conservatives, everyone from Matt Walsh to Al Mohler to Abby Johnson and others, keep promoting that false “fairy tale” view of marriage.

(Link): Porsche billionaire files for divorce from wife, 74, ‘because she has dementia’

A billionaire has filed divorce proceedings against his elderly wife citing her ‘dementia-like illness’ as the reason he wants out of the marriage.

(Link): Porsche billionaire files for divorce over wife’s dementia: report

March 23, 2023
By Nika Shakhnazarova

Billionaire Porsche executive Wolfgang Porsche is divorcing his wife because her “dementia-like illness” has become unbearable for him, according to a report.

Sources close to the couple say the magnate, 79, finds it “impossible” to live with his wife, Claudia Porsche, 74, whose declining health has permanently altered her personality, (Link): the Daily Beast reported, citing German-language tabloid Bild.

The billionaire, who struck up a relationship with Claudia in 2007 before tying the knot in 2019, has reportedly cited her illness and these “drastic changes” to her personality as grounds for separation.

Claudia — a former adviser to the German government — has been unable to move without help for months, the outlet reported.

For the last two years, she has been relying on round-the-clock care from her daughter and four housekeepers.

Meanwhile, it’s believed her soon-to-be ex-husband has been spending time with his longtime pal, 59-year-old Gabriela Prinzessin zu Leiningen, in recent months.

Massachusetts Man Unknowingly Hires Undercover Federal Agent to Kill Wife

Massachusetts Man Unknowingly Hires Undercover Federal Agent to Kill Wife

For the trillionth time on my blog: I am not a progressive, I do not hate The Nuclear Family or Marriage, but I do totally abhor how so many Christians and secular conservatives continue to maintain this FALSE promise or illusion that “the family” is necessary for society, to save it, or that marriage or parenthood will make a person more godly.

Can you imagine being a single woman who wanted to be married one day, and you supposed that the guy you would get married to would be a real Prince Charming who only had your best interest at heart, only to find out later he tried to hire a hitman to murder you?

I don’t think most women, when they daydream about getting married one day, fantasize about their husband- to- be getting them bumped off by a John Wick type of guy.

Did being married make this guy more loving, ethical, godly, or responsible? No, it sure did not. I think the article says that this guy is also a parent – he and the wife he was trying to kill had a few children together.

Maybe getting married makes people LESS godly, mature, responsible, loving, or ethical. 🤔

Do you think the guy in this news story reached a state of perfection and then God allowed him a wife? I’d say no.

If there is a God, I don’t think if God follows a directive of, “well, I cannot permit someone to marry unless they clean up their act and became a wonderful person,” as so many Christian dating advice books, articles, and blogs argue, then God would not have sent a woman into this man’s life for him to marry.

Obviously, since killer clowns like this guy are able to marry, it shows that one doesn’t have to meet some kind of criteria of godliness and great morals before God will allow that person to marry, or that sure is not true for every person.

(Link): Massachusetts man unknowingly hires undercover federal agent to kill wife

by Isabel Keane
March 19, 2023

A Massachusetts man who attempted to hire a contract killer to murder his wife had unknowingly asked an undercover federal agent to carry out the hit, authorities say.

Massimo Marenghi, 56, now faces up to a decade behind bars after pleading guilty Thursday to the murder-for-hire, the US Attorney’s Office for the District of Massachusetts said in a release.

The Malden man “complained about his wife seeking a restraining order against him” during a January 2021 meeting with an undercover FBI agent posing as a contract killer, officials said.

Marenghi later met with the undercover agent and asked him to help “eliminate” his problem as the pair “discussed a price of $10,000,” the feds said.

Single, People Pleasing Guy Murdered by Neighbor (Incident Triggered by His People Pleasing) – Another Precaution for Codependents (and for Complementarian Women)

Single, People Pleasing Guy Murdered by Neighbor (Incident Triggered by His People Pleasing) – Another Precaution for Codependents (and for Complementarian Women)

I’m not blaming this guy for his own murder, but I am saying in this post if you’re a people pleaser, an empath, or a codependent and/or you are a woman who was brought up to believe in Christian gender complementarianism, you need to learn how to start having boundaries right away (regardless of what your church or church preacher thinks), and get very comfortable with saying “no” to people, or you could end up like this guy.

The chain of events that led to his death was his good nature, kindness, willingness to help other people and an inability to say “no” to people.

I suspect he was a codependent.

First, here is some background before I resume with my observations:

(Link): Ronald March Murder: Where is Lance Standberg Now?

Excerpts:

October 2022

A vicious attack in an alley in Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada, left Ronald March dead in August 2012.

The authorities quickly found the person responsible, though, since both men had a history of animosity.

Investigation Discovery’s ‘Fear Thy Neighbor: Hell-Bent’ focuses on the events leading up to Ronald’s death and how the tragic attack occurred.

So, let’s find out more about what happened then, shall we?

How Did Ronald March Die?

Ronald William March was described as an avid reader and an intelligent man. Loved ones remembered the Vancouver resident as gentle and kind, always going out of his way to help others if needed.

Family Are Furious With Daughter After She Sues Them For Stealing Her College Fund So Their Son Could Have A Grand Wedding

Family Are Furious With Daughter After She Sues Them For Stealing Her College Fund So Their Son Could Have A Grand Wedding

Another example of how Nuclear Families do not save culture or a nation, they don’t improve people’s character or make them more happy – it also shows that being a parent, being married, doesn’t make a person more ethical, happier, or loving.

I don’t think it’s okay that this family prioritized the dippy son’s wedding over the daughter’s college future. That money was not theirs to take.

(Link): These Parents Spent Their Daughter’s College Fund On Their Son’s Wedding — Now She’s Suing Them, And It’s All Very Messy

Excerpts:

“My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding.”

by Alexa Lisitza

Recently, a Reddit user who goes by the username u/Accomplished_Bar5656 (who we’ll call Accomplished for short) shared (Link): a post about why she had to take out student loans despite her great-aunt setting up a fund for her, and it’s quite the ride.

The post was originally shared in the Am I the Asshole subreddit, where people present sticky situations to readers and allow them to decide who was wrong in the given situation.

Here’s what happened, according to Accomplished: “My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives,” they said. “In our culture, education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.”

Unlike other women in her family, her great-aunt lived in London and received a college education. She went on to become a doctor, marry a British man, and move to practice in the US.

“She funded the education of as many of her nieces and grand-nieces as she could,” Accomplished said. “When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could.”

This led Accomplished to believe her future access to education was secure. However, “My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding. My sister didn’t care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college. [But] when I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.”

Muslim Lady Comedian Under Attack by Progressive LGBTQ Activist Slime Balls for Calling Out Grooming Behavior by Non-Binary Creep Jeffrey Marsh

Muslim Lady Comedian Under Attack by Progressive LGBTQ Activist Slime Balls for Calling Out Grooming Behavior by Non-Binary Creep Jeffrey Marsh

Well, I guess that settles that question!

A few years ago, when I was just becoming aware of progressive “intersectionalism” (I didn’t even know that term yet),  and I wrote a blog post about it back then, I wondered where exactly LGBTQ persons were in the far left’s Totem Pole of Oppression.

It was clear to me a few years ago that progressives were throwing women of all skin colors (especially white women) under the bus, but I couldn’t at that time figure out if it came down to it, if it were a Muslim Vs. a Black Man, or a Muslim Vs. a Transgender person, for example, which one would the neo-Marxist progressives side with?

It wasn’t yet clear to me who they considered to be the biggest victim group.

I thought at that time that possibly that Muslims would always beat out any LGBTQs, but that is not so!

Recently, a Muslim lady, Shumirun Nessa, made a TikTok video or two calling out LGBTQ weirdo and deviant Jeffrey Marsh for his grooming-like behavior.

The progressive nutcases didn’t like that at all! They started sending threats to the Muslim lady, and the progressive LGBTQ harassment got so bad (they even mentioned her daughters to her in their threats), that she issued a tear-filled TikTok video saying she’s since deleted all ofher Jeffrey Marsh content, but that didn’t seem to make the harassment go away.

Marsh’s behavior is in fact creepy, disturbing, and grooming-like.

If Marsh’s end goal is to educate children about Narcissistic Abuse, he is going about it the wrong way.

Marsh does engage in predatory- and grooming- like behavior, where he tells children to go “No Contact” with the adults in their lives (for most, that would be their parents), and he was telling them to contact him instead, and that he will be their family.

Often, one will hear the phrase “No Contact” in regards to cutting off a toxic or abusive person from one’s life – the phrase is most commonly associated with how to deal with a pathological narcissist in one’s life.

If Marsh is truly interested in the welfare of children dealing with difficult home lives, he’ll direct them to more appropriate persons or professional institutions to which they can refer, but he points children to himself on his private Patreon page, or something of that nature. That is highly inappropriate behavior.

As much as I take issue with Islam (it has problems with systemic sexism, as much as Christian gender complementarianism does), I don’t have a problem with people who practice Islam peacefully.

I am opposed to Marsh or any of his LGBTQ allies harassing this Muslim woman for her speaking her concerns and views about Marsh’s disgusting and suspicious behavior. They are acting like total dirt bags for harassing her and for stalking her.

This is another example of why I use a pen name. If you’re going to make videos, tweets, or blog posts, you should strongly reconsider using your real name online. I discussed that topic more in (Link): this recent post.

There are a lot of un-hinged wackos out there (of any and all political persuasions), some of whom will harass you, stalk you, or try to get you fired from your job.

Some of them, probably most of them, though, are progressive, and the progressives don’t believe in freedom of expression: if you publish material that is in opposition to their progressive, Marxist beliefs, they will harass you if given a chance, and they won’t limit this to online harassment but some take it to real life, too.

I’m not saying that people who do release material under their actual names are to blame if they are targeted, only that you need to think long and hard if you do want to write or vlog under your real name in light of all the kooks out there.

Here are some links and more information about this situation:

Muslim Comedian Under Attack for Calling Out Grooming Behavior by Non-binary Creep Jeffrey Marsh

Excerpts:

… Jeffrey Marsh, the self-described non-binary TikTok personality, openly engages in this kind of grooming. He encourages children to go “no contact” with their parents if their families don’t support their identity.

It’s not in dispute that he does this regularly. There are many videos of him saying just that. He also makes videos for “kids only,” or asks parents to stop listening and let the kids have the device.

… A Muslim comedian named Shumirun Nessa made several TikTok videos exposing Marsh’s behavior. All she did was expose what Marsh himself had put out there and ask why this man is encouraging minors to join a private Patreon group where Marsh said they could talk more freely.

Someone posted one of Marsh’s private videos on Patreon that he encourages kids to access, and it’s about sex with his husband.

…After Nessa’s videos went viral, a wave of trans-activists started harassing her online. She says they have doxed her address and sent threatening emails that tell her what schools her daughters attend (and they’re right).

Nessa also says her car has been vandalized and trolls have posted photos of her without her hijab to shame her. She took down all the videos she made about Marsh and apologized to the terrorizers and asked them to stop stalking her.

BRAVE MOM Tearfully Begs Woke Mob Not To Hurt Her Children After Receiving Threats For Exposing Popular Transgender’s Grooming Messages Directed at Troubled Kids [VIDEO]

Popular social media figure Shumirun Nessa has been doxxed, and her kids have been threatened after she created a video calling out TikToker Jeffrey Marsh for being a groomer.

By Patty McMurray
Mar. 14, 2023

100 Percent Fed Up reports -Jeffrey Marsh, a transgender social media influencer, posts a lot of inappropriate videos encouraging children to join his Patreon so he can chat privately with them. Many of his videos are aimed directly at children, specifically those who don’t have a good relationship with their families.

Nessa made a video questioning the appropriateness of Marsh targeting kids and trying to get a private audience with them on social media.