Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

Excerpts:

  • March 8, 2016
  • For Kim Jackson, staying single into her 50s wasn’t a “big holy decision.” She dated through her 20s, but never met the right person.
  • “I had some pressure from friends and family for quite a while—now I’m so old, I guess they gave up,” said Jackson, now 58.
  • The percentage of unmarried adults in America has been growing since the 1970s. Today, almost half of U.S. adults are either divorced, widowed, or never married. But much church activity revolves around couples and families.
  • Jackson doesn’t begrudge the church its focus on families, but more could be done to make singles feel comfortable, she said.  Sunday school class names like “Pairs and Spares” or “Fish Out of Water” make singles feel like they don’t have a place in the church.

Continue reading “Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell”

Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

I have never approved of May-December relationships, regardless of the gender situation.

I am grossed out by relationships that have more than a five year age gap (ten at the most). I wrote about that before in (Link): this post.

(Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

    -‘Some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes – I like old ladies’: ‘Extreme toyboy’, 31, takes 91-year-old girlfriend home to meet his mother
    -Kyle had first sexual experience with a 50-year-old aged 18
    -Claims he has always been attracted to older women
    -Currently dating five women aged over 60, including Marjorie, 91
    -Says they have an active and satisfying sex life
    -Often takes girlfriends home to meet him mother, 51

    As a society, we’ve become used to May to September relationships – just look at Madonna and her latest backing dancer; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones and their 25-year age gap. No one bats an eyelid any more.

    But one ‘exteme toy boy’ does raise a few eyebrows when he steps out with his lover – because baby-faced Kyle Jones, 31, is in a relationship with a 91-year-old great-grandmother.

    Kyle, from Augusta, Georgia, dates numerous pensioners at the same time and even takes them home to meet his 50-year-old mother. For the last five years he has been in a ‘casual’ relationship with 91-year-old Marjorie McCool.

    And despite the 60-year age gap, the pair have an active sex life and can’t keep their hands off each other.

    Kyle said: ‘Everyone’s brain is wired differently, some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes, some like other guys – I like old ladies.’

    The call centre worker was just 18 when he first acted on his attraction for older women and began a sexual relationship with a 50-year-old.

    Now Kyle uses dating websites to find women as well as chatting them up in his daily life.

    He said: ‘Most of the time, the average age I go for is between 60 and 80.

    ‘Whenever I’m trying to speak to an older woman, the first reaction I get is ‘you’re way too young’.

    ‘I find persistence is good so I tell them it’ll be fun.’

    Although officially single, Kyle regularly sees up to five women at a time and takes them on dates – and even home to meet his mother.

    In 2009 he met great-grandmother Marge – short for Marjorie – in the bookstore where she was working and asked for her number.

    Marge, who had been single for 37 years since splitting with the father of her six children, agreed to go on a date.

    She said: ‘In the beginning I got jealous of his other women but he keeps coming back to me and tells me I’m the best.

    ‘The physical side of our relationship is wonderful. I amaze myself, he amazes me. There’s nothing better.

    …. And while many of the women he dates can’t believe such a young man would find them attractive, Kyle is adamant he does.

    He said: ‘Often, the things women are so self-conscious about is what I’m into. I like the neck lines and wrinkles.

    ‘Women worry about their boobs sagging but I think the natural hang looks great. I’m really not a fan of plastic surgery.

    …Kyle’s preference for the elderly has drawn criticism from those who see him as opportunistic.

    He said: ‘The most common criticism I hear is ‘you’re after money’ or ‘you’re after inheritance’.

    ‘Or people think these women must be buying me things.

    ‘But it’s not true at all – I do this because I like it and they like it too. I’ve dated women from various ends of the financial spectrum, but it’s never about what they have.’

———————-
Related posts:

(Link): Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause

The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language

(Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language by E A Dause

Excerpts:

    I am 27, single, and my father has passed away. It seems everywhere I turn in the Christian world — churches, organizations, politicians — I am excluded, because I am not part of a family.

    A pastor comments excitedly on the number of new families joining his church. If I joined, would my membership be valuable? Respected Christian leaders urge us to support “family values.” Are values really tied to family units, or can I have values, too? A politician catering to evangelicals declares strong families to be the foundation of our nation.

    If he even knows I exist, a person without a family, does he even care about my vote?

    Christian magazines and organizations identify themselves by their emphasis on family. Where do I stand with them?

    A church bulletin asks me to bring enough food for my family to the church gathering. Am I even invited in the first place?

    Continue reading “The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause”

Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife – Married People Will Be Single Again

Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife – Married People Will Be Single Again

I’ve blogged on this before: married people left single again in a sense because their spouse developed dementia.

The church – run by married couples – makes an idol out of marriage, treats singles like second class citizens, or doesn’t take notice of singles, and it never seems to enter their minds that one day their spouse will be dead, either of old age, or possibly prematurely in their 30s, 40s, 50s from an auto accident, cancer or some other incident or health problem.

Your spouse could divorce you when you’re both 38 years old – maybe he says he’s fallen out of love, or he wants to run off with another woman.

If a woman’s husband is physically or emotionally abusive, she may have to divorce him.

Being married now is not a guarantee you’ll be married tomorrow or five years from now.

This is one reason it is to the benefit of married people to keep and maintain friendships with other people outside their immediate family (like hey, single adults).

Here’s another article about married people being, in effect, in a manner of speaking, left single again because their spouse has dementia.

(Link): Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife

    Alzheimer’s puts caregivers in painful in-betweens.
    Jamie A. Hughes, guest writer

… But for my grandmother, the outcome isn’t so promising, as her husband will continue to lose abilities with each passing year. She is one of 15 million people in the United States caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

According to a recent report by the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5.2 million Americans are affected by this disease, and the number is expected to climb to 13.8 million by 2050.

… Women bear the brunt of this illness in more ways than one. Not only are we more likely to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, but we also shoulder the burden of being primary caregivers. (Between 60 to 70 percent of people nursing a loved one with this condition are female.)

…2 Corinthians 9:11 says that Christians are “enriched in every way to be generous in every way” (NKJV), but I lost sight of that in the confusion of shifting family dynamics.

My grandfather struggled to pray at family gatherings, so my uncle assumed the task. Another person absorbed his duties around the house. Others became the handyman, bookkeeper, and financial planner.

Though I did whatever I could to help my grandfather, I rarely spared a thought for my grandmother. I didn’t fully understand how this disease has eaten away at her life and sense of self.

I came to see that she, too, was mourning—both for herself and the man she’s loved for 58 years, the one she’s losing to a pitiless disease that scours memories from the gray grooves of his brain.

Continue reading “Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife – Married People Will Be Single Again”

The Walking Dead television series – Virginity and Family – One of TV’s Most Popular Adult Characters is a Virgin and Single And Most Are Okay With That

The Walking Dead television series – Virginity and Family

My last post on this topic:

—- SHOW FAVORITE IS A VIRGIN AND SINGLE —-

As the cable series The Walking Dead moved along, character Daryl Dixon had only one living family member left, so far as the show has revealed to this point: his brother Merle Dixon. Merle was killed a couple of seasons ago.

In interviews, actor Norman Reedus, who plays Daryl on the show, assumes that the character is a virgin – yes, a virgin.

In real life, Reedus is currently in his mid-40s and was in a long term relationship with a model in his late twenties (they had a son together). It has not been fully verified on the show what Daryl’s age is, but I would assume Daryl is the same age on the show that Reedus is in real life.

But as far as his Daryl character, Reedus feels that due in part of Dixon’s abusive upbringing, he’s not had much exposure to women and dating. He spent much of his life living in the woods, hunting, and living off the land. Reedus says he plays the Dixon character as though the character has never had sex and is not a smooth Don Juan with the ladies.

The show writers so far (thank God!) have not caved in to the immense female fan viewer demand to pair him up with Carol, Beth, or anyone else on the show. I hope they keep it that way.

You can read more about this subject on these off-site pages (I have additional comments about this below these long excerpts):
(Link): ‘The Walking Dead’s’ Norman Reedus: Daryl is a ‘total virgin’

Excerpts:

    By Liz Kelly Nelson
    Oct 10th, 2011

    Daryl Dixon knows how to handle a crossbow and has no problem putting an arrow between the eyes of a zombie, but when it comes to romance, he’s a bit of a late bloomer.

    “I’m trying to play him like he’s a total virgin,” Norman Reedus tells Zap2it. “Like if someone were to try to kiss him he’d be like, ‘Eeeeee.'”

    Reedus (“The Boondock Saints”) plays Daryl on AMC’s smash hit, “The Walking Dead.” Although the character wasn’t in the original Robert Kirkman comic books, he’s become a fan favorite. If we were comparing this show to “Lost,” which would be wrong because they are two totally different beasts, he’s kind of like the Sawyer of the group: hot, dangerous and — deep down — a good guy.

    Continue reading “The Walking Dead television series – Virginity and Family – One of TV’s Most Popular Adult Characters is a Virgin and Single And Most Are Okay With That”

Nursing Home Hires Male Strippers for 85 Year Old Women

Nursing Home Hires Male Strippers for 85 Year Old Women

(Link): Lawsuit: New York nursing home resident subjected to unwanted performance by male stripper

    Fensterman also chided Ray [John Ray, the attorney for Bernice Youngblood and her family] for claiming that Youngblood was suffering from dementia, while at the same time noting the woman signed a power of attorney document claiming she was competent to sign it.

    “Ms. Youngblood suffers from partial dementia,” Ray said. “She has moments of partial lucidity.”

(Link): Nursing Home Stripper Scandal: “Entertainment Night” Results in Lawsuit

(Link): Lawsuit: Male stripper did show at NY nursing home

    WEST BABYLON, N.Y. (AP) — An 85-year-old nursing home patient was the victim of “disgraceful sexual perversion” when a male stripper gyrated in front of her against her will at the suburban New York facility, an attorney for the woman’s family said Tuesday.

    John Ray, the attorney for Bernice Youngblood and her family, displayed a picture of a man in white briefs dancing in front of the woman at East Neck Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in September 2012.

(Link): Man Sues Over Mom’s Nursing Home Stripper

    An 85-year-old woman with dementia had a male stripper gyrate in front of her against her will at her suburban New York nursing home, according to a lawsuit filed by her family but the facility’s lawyer said Tuesday the performance had been requested by its residents.

    John Ray, the attorney for Bernice Youngblood and her family, said the woman’s son found a photograph of a man in white briefs dancing in front of his mother when he visited her in January 2013 at East Neck Nursing and Rehabilitation Center.

    The photo, which Ray distributed to reporters, shows Youngblood putting money into the dancer’s waistband. Ray said Youngblood had been urged to participate and did so against her will.

    Continue reading “Nursing Home Hires Male Strippers for 85 Year Old Women”

Elderly Widower Dude is a Slut Says Adult Daughter – Why Churches Need to Teach Celibacy Applies to Even Married People Not Just Under Age 25 Singles

Elderly Widower Dude is a Slut Says Adult Daughter – Why Churches Need to Teach Celibacy Applies to Even Married People Not Just Under Age 25 Singles

So this adult daughter writes to an advice columnist explaining that her elderly father lost his wife (her mother) a few years ago, and ever since, he has been a big slut. (Farther below, I have pasted in her letter to Dear Amy so you can read it for yourself.)

I’d like to point out that “slut shaming” happens to men too, but I usually only hear secular feminists complain that it happens to women.

The woman’s senior-aged father is sleeping around with numerous women, he has several girlfriends at a time, but keeps each girlfriend (GF) in the dark about all the other GFs.

The daughter is afraid someone, her dad, or one of the dad’s GFs, is going to get an S.T.I. (aka S.T.D.).

This is yet another reason Christians need to get over the mentality that teachings about sexual purity and celibacy are for young singles only.

Not only do you have never-married (or not- married- yet) adult singles over the age of 30 who are trying to remain sexually pure, there are plenty of whom are still virgins, but you get these married couples whose spouse dies at some point in their lives, and they go out and start having sex with a lot of people after the death.

Celibacy is not just for young singles, it’s for ~everyone~. !HELLO, Christian culture, HELLO preachers of America!

You have married couples where one partner loses his (or her) sex drive due to stress, physical health (illness), or one or both partners find the sex boring after several weeks or months. As a result, some marriage counselors are telling such partners to go have an extra-marital fling (an affair).

I wrote about that situation here:

      (Link):

Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

It’s not enough for churches to keep acting as though messages of sexual purity are for teens and college students only.

Another reason they need to step up: a lot of 20- somethings and 30- somethings today, ones who drift away from church or the faith now, reject a lot of the church’s teachings on sexuality – that is, the churches and preachers who even bother to teach that pre-marital sex is a sin at all, because many do not.

(See: (Link): Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality / Sexual Sin For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners)

The problem is, a lot of these ex-Christians or uber- liberal Christian types feel that their conservative churches wrongly taught about sex. These types feel that the Bible does not speak out against sex outside of marriage, even though yes, it in fact does. So, they disregard about any and all limitations on sex at all.

Churches need to do a better job, and try a different approach of, speaking about sexual sin, because a lot of the 20-somethings are later rejecting or disregarding what they are hearing about sex in church when they later leave church.

The fact remains that even married adults need to hear sermons about sexual purity, because some of them are failing miserably at it.

If your husband takes a two week business trip, and you find yourself alone, are you going to sleep with your UPS delivery man, or next door neighbor, while the husband is gone?

If you are a married man whose wife is in the military, and she gets shipped overseas for a six month tour of duty, are you going to remain faithful to her, or whore it up with other women while she is away?

What if you’re 50 years old and your 50 year old spouse is physically disabled or gets early-onset dementia, are you going to be true to him or her, or start sleeping around?

Churches need to address those types of situations and stop assuming that sexual temptation and sin is something that besets ONLY 17 year old kids.

Here’s the letter:

Ask Amy: Randy widower worries his daughter

Dear Amy:

I’m really concerned my widower father is turning into something of a slut.

My mother passed away seven years ago, and then my father had the very unfortunate luck of having a girlfriend who succumbed to cancer a few years later.

I understand that he’s lonely, and needs affection that only a female companion would give, but he’s currently courting three women, none of whom know about each other.

I know it is none of my business, but I am actually frightened that these women he met online who so easily jump into bed with him will leave him with an STD.

I’ve heard that the spread of STDs is actually more prevalent among the older generation these days. What would you suggest I do to convince him that these trysts may be more than he bargained for, without overstepping boundaries?

He’s quite headstrong and rarely listens to me; what should I do?

Signed,
— Concerned daughter

You see, preachers need to be preaching about sex in such a way that even married people understand that sex outside of marriage is SIN.

Because evidently, there are a lot of married men who feel okay and fine cheating on their wives while the wife is alive, or like the man in the letter above, they feel just fine engaging in fornication, and with multiple partners, once the wife dies.

Here was Amy’s reply:

Dear Concerned:

I shared your question with a spokesperson for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who responded:
“While CDC continues to find that STDs disproportionately affect younger people in the U.S., it is important to understand that many older Americans face unique prevention challenges (e.g., discomfort in discussing sexual behaviors with physicians and partners and discomfort discussing condom use). It is also important for physicians to assess older patients’ risk.”

Older men may not have gotten the memo about wearing a condom. In their randy youth, condoms were used for birth control; now they are vital disease control devices. Your father could become infected and/or infect his partners.

Onto his sluttiness. There is not much you can (or should) do about his choice to sleep around.

The women he is seeing may also be mutually consenting (slutty) elders, and while this prospect isn’t quite what you want for your dear dad — it is what it is and you may have to accept it and only remind him to speak to his doctor about his risks.

Sexual promiscuity can be a sign of depression, however. If you feel he is out of control, you must do your best to urge him toward a mental health evaluation.

———————————–
Related posts:

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link):  Sex and Alzheimer’s – Selfish, Perverted Husband Rapes His Alzheimer’s Wife

(Link): Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely

(Link): Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died

(Link): AARP post: How to Handle a Sexless Married Life – But Christians Promise You Great Hot Regular Married Sex

(Link): Horny Celibacy – Another Anti Virginity, Anti Sexual Purity Essay – Also discussed: Being Equally Yoked, Divorce, Remarriage

(Link): Grieving widow doesn’t need to start dating in order to heal (letter from advice column)

(Link): Widows and Childless and Childfree Have Better Well Being Than Married Couples and Parents says new study

(Link): “Family-ing” Single Adults by D. Franck – How Churches Can Minister to Single Adults
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To Tweet:

Elderly Widower is Slut Says Daughter – Y Churches Need Teach Celibacy 2 Married Pple Not Just Teens https://christianpundit.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/elderly-widow-dude-is-a-slut-says-adult-daughter-why-churches-need-to-teach-celibacy-applies-to-even-married-people-not-just-under-age-25-singles/ #Celibacy

Husband Forgets How to Have Sex After Botched Cancer Surgery

Husband Forgets How to Have Sex After Botched Cancer Surgery

You know the standard Christian propaganda: wait until you get married to have sex, and the sex will be GREAT! Unless, of course, you end up in a (Link): sexless marriage, because your spouse develops health problems, was sexually abused in childhood, is under too much job stress, or…

(Link): How my husband forgot sex

    by SONYA LEA
    Feb 12, 2014

    When we were younger, he was the one who taught me to explore. Then he had cancer surgery — and came out a virgin

(Link): Husband Forgets How to Have Sex After Botched Cancer Surgery

From page 1:

    Feb. 20, 2014
    By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES

    In 2003, as Richard Bandy prepared for cancer surgery that would bathe his abdomen in hot tumor-killing chemicals, he and his wife, writer Sonya Lea, talked about the possibility of his death, but also about potential impotence.

    The couple, then in their 40s, had been sweethearts since high school and said they enjoyed a close, sexually charged relationship.

    “We did the usual things everyone does with a life-threatening illness — we got wills ready and secured all the practical business,” said Lea, 54, who now lives in Seattle.

    “We looked at what our dreams were for life and got our bucket list,” she told ABCNews.com. “We were so optimistic. If sex doesn’t work, we’ll figure out other forms of sharing our erotic life. Many people who are injured or impotent have active sexual lives and we think we can do this.”

    Bandy even discussed allowing Lea to take another lover.

    Chemo bath heats up debate about radical cancer treatments.

    What they didn’t expect was that surgery would go terribly wrong and internal bleeding would cause a brain injury. In the decade since, Bandy could physically have sex, but his personality was forever altered.

    “You go into surgery, and you don’t imagine you will end up with a different man at the end of it,” said Lea.

    In a Feb. 12 article for Salon, (Link): “How My Husband Forgot Sex,” Lea writes about Bandy’s loss of short- and long-term memory and his ability to initiate and recall decades of marital intimacy.

    “The man who taught me to explore, has become as unknowing as a stranger in a strange land,” she writes. “Three years after the brain injury, it still isn’t possible for him to ask what he wants, or conduct a conversation, or remember the ways my body responds.”

    Bandy had a rare form of pseudomyxoma peritonei or PMP, a cancer that currently only affects about 5,000 Americans, according to Dr. Paul Sugarbaker, director of the Center for Gastrointestinal Malignancies at the Medstar Washington Hospital Center. It develops after a polyp on the appendix bursts and spreads mucus-producing tumor cells throughout the region.

    “It used to be universally fatal and now we cure 80 percent of them with a new type of surgery that involves perineotomy, stripping the insides of the abdomen and pelvis,” said Sugarbaker. Neither he, nor the hospital treated Bandy.

    The standard of care is hyperthermic intraperitoneal chemotherapy or HIPEC, a highly concentrated, heated chemotherapy treatment that is delivered directly to the abdomen during surgery. But sometimes, a high-dose chemotherapy agent can cause serious complications that can trigger bleeding in the brain or stroke.

    “We had a bad case here,” said Sugarbaker, who has since declared a moratorium on the use of that chemical at his facility.

    In Bandy’s case, his brain was deprived of oxygen for a critical period of time after 32 ounces of blood pooled in his abdomen during surgery, according to his wife. Lea said the family settled in a malpractice suit and was not allowed to talk more specifically about the case.

    Today, Lea and Bandy have been married 35 years. She writes about their decade-long journey in an as yet unpublished memoir, “Wondering Who You Are,” in which she explores issues of identity through cancer, brain surgery, travel, art, food, sex, wilderness and family.

    “I love her writing –- it makes me cry,” said Bandy, 56, who contributed several pieces to the book.

    “But there are fairly large sections of my life I don’t remember,” he said. “Not anything before high school or college. I don’t remember my kids’ births or my wedding day. I don’t really remember what sex is like before the brain injury.”

((( Read Page Two )))

Pat Robertson Contradicts Himself On Healing and God’s Will

Pat Robertson Contradicts Himself On Healing and God’s Will

On today’s (Oct 10, 2013) Christian program “700 Club,” during their “Bring it on” show segment ((Link): Bring It On), host Pat Robertson fielded a question from a viewer who wants to know why Robertson’s show never mentions unanswered prayer, that some people pray for healing but never get healed.

This person said she thinks his show should periodically mention that not all who pray for healing get a healing, or whatever they are praying for – and I totally agree with her.

(I do not yet see this particular program on 700 Club’s website or else I would link to it.)

Anyway, Robertson’s reply to that viewer warbled all over the place.

Robertson brought up that saying “if it be in your will God” at the end of a prayer for healing is a “faith killer.”

I have to agree with the person who e-mailed with the question.

If anything, it is a “faith killer” that it is the Christian TV show, or Word of Faith, propensity to emphasize only successes in answer to prayer, to discuss only healings, and never to acknowledge times when God does NOT answer prayer, when God does NOT heal someone, and some die from, or live an entire life with, a disease.

It is a FACT that God does not answer all your prayers the way you want or hope, and it doesn’t matter how good you are, how godly, how much faith you have, and so on.

God’s answer is sometimes just a flat out “No.” But Word of Faith Christians, and other types, do not like to deal with this fact.

It’s actually very depressing if you are someone suffering from depression, cancer, or some other situation, and although you pray your heart out to God for months or years, God does not heal you, nor does He answer you, and yet, every time you tune in to shows like 700 Club, every single damn testimony on that show is by someone who says, “Two seconds after I prayed, God healed me, praise Jesus.”

You start to wonder why God is healing all these other people within two seconds of their prayer and not healing YOU, and you’ve been praying about your situation for YEARS – and you have even jumped through all the hoops to get your prayer answered that Christians say you are to jump through, such as repenting of all your sin, tithing regularly, reading your Bible daily, and whatever else.

Anyway, after Robertson made these comments about saying that using the phrase “if it be in your will” in prayer is a ‘faith killer,’ his show ran a story about a woman who got AIDS, but after she prayed to God for healing, she was healed of the disease.

This woman’s adult son was interviewed, and he said when he got news that his mother had AIDS, that he said to God, “Why my mom, God? Please heal her if it be in your will.”

Then, at the end of the show, after praying for the audience, Robertson turns to the camera and says, “We will be back with more 700 Club episodes God willing.”

Did you catch that? Within 15 minutes of telling people it is wrong to think or say “if it be in God’s will” he has two spots on his show of people using that very phrase – himself and the son of a woman who was healed of AIDS.

Even Jesus said (from Luke 22), “Father, if it is your will, take this cup [of suffering] away from me.” There is also a Bible passage where Paul says it is arrogant NOT to say or think in terms of “if it be in thy will” because we do NOT know what the future holds, only God does.

Robertson also contradicted his son, Gordon Robertson. Whenever Gordon hosts the show, he tells people that while people may not get a healing in this life, that everyone gets a healing in the afterlife / heaven.

Robertson said something during the show today when answering the viewer e-mail about how he feels it is a ‘cop out’ for Christians to think or teach that “not everyone gets healed in this life time but all get healed in Heaven.”

Well, that is the very concept his own son teaches when his son hosts that show. Pat Robertson is saying his own son Gordon “cops out” and gives lame answers to viewers of that very show.

If memory serves me, Jesus Christ did NOT heal everyone who came to him, as Robertson claimed. There is an incident or two when the Bible says Jesus was being followed by crowds (of sick people who wanted healing or what not), but he could not take it anymore and would leave the crowds to go off by Himself.

Also, and if memory serves, a few of the folks Jesus healed did not even ASK the man for healing, they were just sitting there minding their own business and Jesus walked by and offered to heal them of their blindness, paralyzed body part, or what ever – they did not ASK to be healed, Jesus just offered to do it. This factoid also does not square with Word of Faith teaching that you MUST pray and have ‘X’ amount of faith, or else God will not heal you.

Anyway, Christian shows need to run more testimonies by devout believers who despite a life time of prayers, were NOT healed or helped. It’s somewhat dishonest and a misrepresentation of Christian faith and life to only air stories of instant healing, when so many of us know good Christian people who prayed and prayed and still died.

Pat Robertson should have been put out to pasture years ago. He gives incorrect, unbiblical, insensitive, or hypocritical advice.

I notice his former co-host Kristi Watts has not been on that show since around June or July 2013, and nobody has mentioned her absence since then. Except someone on another site claims that,

    I just read that on June 25th Gordan [sic] Robertson announced that Kristi Watts was leaving to pursue her own Ministry. Hope this helps
    ————-
    [from the 700 Club Facebook page (LINK)]

    Hello All:

    “Thank you for your inquiry. CBN has announced the departure of Kristi Watts. Kristi is leaving the network in order to pursue other ministry opportunities.

    Gordon Robertson, chief executive officer of CBN, made the announcement on June 12, 2013.

    Gordon shared, “Kristi Watts has brought much joy and inspiration to the CBN family. While we will miss her, Kristi has always had a heart for ministry and we all wish her much success as she moves into this exciting new chapter.” Please join us in praying for God’s blessings on Kristi and her ministry. May God richly bless you.”

    CBN.COM ADMIN.

Good page on the topic on is it okay to use the phrase “if it be in your will” when praying to God (on another site):
(Link): Is it Okay to Pray, “If it Be Your Will, Lord?”

Excerpt:

    So, when we don’t know God’ will, there is nothing wrong with praying, “If it be your will, Lord.” Prayer is not about phrasing everything perfectly, or using the correct formula in the exact right way. Prayer is about communicating with God from our hearts, in an honest, loving relationship. Sometimes we get too concerned about technique and forget that God knows our hearts and understands our human imperfections.

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Related this blog:

(Link): On Prayer and Christ’s Comment to Grant You Anything You Ask in His Name

(Link): Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

(Link): Pat Robertson: (basically): Pre Marital Sex is Okay (or to be totally expected) Because People are “Sexual Beings”

(Link): Christian TV Show Host Pat Robertson is Fine With Trandgenderism

(Link): Atlanta Baptist Church Missing Person Project Missing the Unmarried – Charles Stanley on Singleness – Unanswered Prayer

(Link): “He’s Got Muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)

(Link): Advocate of Family Values Doesn’t Uphold Family Values | Stop Asking Pat Robertson for Advice America!

(Link): Pat Robertson to married woman: All men are cheaters and sex crazed horn dogs, but that’s okay because they’re men

(Link): Pat Robertson Expects Men to Commit Sexual Sin (and it’s not the first time)

(Link): Creepy, Creepy and Sexist Pat Robertson

(Link): Is Pat Robertson of The 700 Club Show some kind of secret perv? He’s Creepy

(Link): Robertson Defends His Horrible Advice to Married Woman

You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies (advice columnist)

You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies

You will be ignored after your spouse dies: though I have to say this problem seems more frequent for females than males. For some reason, people feel more sorry for a man whose spouse has died than a woman, so men seem to get invited out more.

At any rate, this is another example of how even if you have been married, people in your life will pretty much ignore you once your spouse drops dead or leaves you.

Many married people suffer from something I dub “Married People Privilege.” Married people don’t usually don’t notice how utterly shitty society and churches treat un-married people until they find themselves un-married again later in life, when their spouse divorces them, drops dead, or gets dementia.

Ask Amy Column:

DEAR AMY:

    Mine is not an earth-shaking problem. I am a widower, and like most of us widows/widowers, the phone quit ringing after my spouse died. Since I am not a great cook, I call couples we used to socialize with to go out for dinner.

When the check comes, I pay; then they pay the next time.

It doesn’t seem to dawn on them that I am paying twice as much to treat them as they do when they pick up the check. Some of them are much better off than I am. I do not want to make this a major issue, but I do go out a lot and tip well. I cannot think of a way to address this tactfully. Can you? — Wondering

DEAR WONDERING: This may not seem tactful (enough) to you, but if I were in your group of friends, I’d be absolutely fine hearing the following: “Do you mind if we each pay for our own meal when we go out? I dine out a lot and enjoy it, but it’s getting challenging for me to pick up the tab.”

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Related post this blog

(Link): Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely

(Link):  A social psychologist reveals why so many marriages are falling apart and how to fix it (and a history of American marriage)

(Link): Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died

(Link): When You’re Married and Lonely by J. Slattery

Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely

Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely

I included this in my previous post but felt it was worthy to stand on its own. This fits in with another old post,
(Link): People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Death of a Spouse

As I said in that post, people who are married are oblivious to how horribly singles are treated in general, but by churches and American Christianity specifically.

One of the things I mentioned is that if you are currently married, it would be in your best interest to advocate for the un-married NOW, so by the time your spouse drops dead of old age, getting hit by a car eight months from now, or from a heart attack five years from now, you won’t find yourself ignored or insulted by your church – which is the current state of affairs in most churches today for singles.

A lot of married Christians float through their married lives never realizing that people without partners are treated like chopped liver by churches.

I’ve seen several testimonies online and in books by married people who say once their spouse died, or they divorced, their former married friends instantly began excluding them from social functions and so on – and this includes “church” people and Christians.

Here is a British report detailing how wives with husbands who have dementia are functionally single:

(Link): The lonely generation: Late-life divorce. Husbands lost to dementia. Or marriages that are just empty shells

This is a long excerpt. If you want to read the whole page, please use the link above:

    Angela Townshend sleeps alone every night, wistfully recalling the not-so-distant time when she shared a bed with her husband, Ned. Where once she and Ned would have been engaged in spirited debates about theology, or mulling over the everyday events of family life, now she spends much of her day in silence.
  • The 64-year-old from Bath describes the loneliness she feels as ‘so intense it makes me impossibly sad to remember how idyllically happy we were’.
  • Angela is not, however, a widow. Her 70-year-old husband is still very much a physical presence and huge responsibility in her life. But serious illness means that the man she married 14 years ago — a second marriage for both of them — is long gone.
  • In 2006, Ned was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and, four years later, with Lewy body dementia, which is closely associated with both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Since then, the Townshends’ lives have changed beyond recognition and fallen into a familiar routine.
  • ‘Every morning a carer calls at our home to wash and dress my dear husband, but by 9 am he’s asleep again in the chair, leaving me with just my thoughts for company,’ explains Angela.
  • But family and friends have not been able to keep at bay the profound loneliness which has become the hallmark of her life. A friend who visited them for supper recently observed, after Ned [her husband] fell asleep in their company, that Angela has little by way of companionship.
  • Angela’s isolation in her marriage has become an insurmountable problem to which there is no end in sight.

Continue reading “Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely”